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47. Learning to Let Go as a High Achiever with Guest Kolette Hall · Burning Brightly

• 0:00
  Okay,
• 0:01
  so
• 0:01
  I'll
• 0:01
  add
• 0:02
  a
• 0:02
  full
• 0:02
  bio
• 0:03
  to
• 0:03
  the
• 0:04
  audio
• 0:04
  later,
• 0:04
  so
• 0:05
  I
• 0:05
  will
• 0:05
  ask
• 0:05
  you
• 0:05
  to
• 0:05
  just
• 0:06
  do
• 0:06
  a
• 0:06
  quick
• 0:07
  brief
• 0:07
  introduction
• 0:07
  of
• 0:07
  yourself
• 0:08
  and
• 0:08
  then
• 0:08
  I'll
• 0:08
  start
• 0:08
  asking
• 0:09
  questions.
• 0:09
  Yeah,
• 0:10
  perfect.
• 0:10
  Okay,
• 0:11
  great.
• 0:12
  And
• 0:12
  I
• 0:12
  always
• 0:13
  have
• 0:13
  children
• 0:13
  in
• 0:13
  the
• 0:13
  background,
• 0:13
  but
• 0:14
  they're
• 0:14
  supposed
• 0:14
  to
• 0:14
  be
• 0:14
  quiet.
• 0:15
  Not
• 0:15
  a
• 0:15
  problem.
• 0:18
  Okay.
• 0:18
  Welcome
• 0:18
  back
• 0:18
  everybody.
• 0:19
  I
• 0:19
  am
• 0:19
  so
• 0:19
  excited
• 0:20
  to
• 0:20
  have
• 0:20
  a
• 0:20
  guest
• 0:20
  on
• 0:21
  the
• 0:21
  show.
• 0:21
  Her
• 0:21
  name
• 0:21
  is
• 0:21
  Colette
• 0:22
  Hall
• 0:22
  and
• 0:22
  she
• 0:23
  is
• 0:23
  a
• 0:23
  gem.
• 0:23
  Okay.
• 0:24
  Welcome
• 0:24
  back
• 0:24
  everybody.
• 0:25
  I
• 0:25
  am
• 0:25
  so
• 0:25
  excited
• 0:25
  to
• 0:25
  have
• 0:26
  a
• 0:26
  guest
• 0:26
  on
• 0:26
  the
• 0:26
  show.
• 0:27
  Her
• 0:27
  name
• 0:27
  is
• 0:27
  Colette
• 0:27
  Hall
• 0:28
  and
• 0:28
  she
• 0:28
  is
• 0:29
  a
• 0:29
  gem.
• 0:29
  She
• 0:29
  is
• 0:30
  a
• 0:30
  coach
• 0:30
  just
• 0:30
  like
• 0:30
  me,
• 0:31
  and
• 0:31
  she
• 0:31
  has
• 0:32
  an
• 0:32
  amazing
• 0:32
  story
• 0:33
  and
• 0:33
  offers
• 0:33
  so
• 0:33
  much
• 0:33
  value
• 0:34
  for
• 0:34
  high
• 0:35
  achieving
• 0:35
  entrepreneurs
• 0:36
  like
• 0:36
  you
• 0:36
  and
• 0:36
  like
• 0:36
  me.
• 0:37
  So
• 0:37
  welcome
• 0:37
  Colette.
• 0:38
  Thank
• 0:38
  you.
• 0:39
  It's
• 0:39
  so
• 0:39
  great
• 0:39
  to
• 0:39
  be
• 0:39
  here.
• 0:40
  Yes.
• 0:41
  We
• 0:41
  want
• 0:41
  to
• 0:41
  start
• 0:41
  off
• 0:42
  by
• 0:42
  hearing
• 0:42
  just
• 0:42
  a
• 0:42
  little
• 0:42
  bit
• 0:42
  about
• 0:43
  you.
• 0:43
  So
• 0:43
  tell
• 0:43
  us
• 0:43
  about
• 0:44
  your
• 0:44
  life,
• 0:44
  your
• 0:44
  family,
• 0:45
  a
• 0:45
  little
• 0:45
  bit
• 0:45
  about
• 0:45
  your
• 0:45
  background.
• 0:47
  Okay.
• 0:47
  So
• 0:48
  I
• 0:48
  am
• 0:48
  a
• 0:48
  coach,
• 0:49
  just
• 0:49
  like
• 0:49
  you
• 0:49
  mentioned,
• 0:50
  this
• 0:50
  is
• 0:50
  my
• 0:50
  third
• 0:50
  career.
• 0:51
  So
• 0:52
  any
• 0:52
  one
• 0:52
  of
• 0:52
  you
• 0:53
  who
• 0:53
  is
• 0:53
  thinking
• 0:54
  that
• 0:54
  maybe
• 0:54
  it's
• 0:54
  too
• 0:54
  late,
• 0:55
  it's
• 0:55
  not
• 0:55
  too
• 0:55
  late.
• 0:56
  It's
• 0:56
  not
• 0:56
  ever
• 0:56
  too
• 0:57
  late
• 0:57
  I
• 0:57
  used
• 0:58
  to
• 0:58
  be
• 0:58
  a
• 0:58
  school
• 0:58
  teacher
• 0:59
  way
• 0:59
  back
• 0:59
  when,
• 1:00
  and
• 1:00
  then
• 1:00
  I,
• 1:01
  was
• 1:01
  a
• 1:01
  graphic
• 1:01
  designer
• 1:02
  in
• 1:02
  the
• 1:02
  craft
• 1:03
  industry
• 1:03
  and
• 1:03
  owned
• 1:04
  owned
• 1:04
  business
• 1:05
  in
• 1:05
  the
• 1:05
  crafting
• 1:06
  industry.
• 1:07
  For
• 1:07
  a
• 1:07
  long
• 1:07
  time.
• 1:08
  And
• 1:08
  now
• 1:08
  I
• 1:09
  am
• 1:09
  a
• 1:09
  coach
• 1:09
  for
• 1:09
  high
• 1:09
  achievers.
• 1:11
  I
• 1:11
  have
• 1:11
  one
• 1:12
  son.
• 1:12
  He's
• 1:13
  15
• 1:13
  right
• 1:13
  now.
• 1:14
  And,
• 1:15
  I'm
• 1:15
  also
• 1:15
  a
• 1:15
  widow.
• 1:16
  My
• 1:16
  husband
• 1:16
  passed
• 1:17
  away
• 1:17
  five
• 1:17
  years
• 1:18
  ago.
• 1:18
  And,
• 1:19
  so
• 1:19
  that's,
• 1:20
  that's
• 1:20
  part
• 1:20
  of
• 1:20
  my
• 1:20
  story
• 1:20
  as
• 1:21
  well.
• 1:22
  Yeah,
• 1:22
  it
• 1:22
  is.
• 1:22
  And
• 1:22
  what
• 1:23
  a
• 1:23
  fascinating
• 1:23
  life
• 1:24
  you
• 1:24
  have
• 1:24
  led
• 1:24
  already.
• 1:25
  I
• 1:25
  love
• 1:25
  it.
• 1:25
  And
• 1:25
  I
• 1:25
  love
• 1:26
  that
• 1:26
  you
• 1:26
  were
• 1:26
  in
• 1:26
  the
• 1:26
  crafting
• 1:27
  space
• 1:27
  too.
• 1:27
  I
• 1:27
  don't
• 1:27
  think
• 1:27
  we
• 1:27
  talked
• 1:28
  about
• 1:28
  this
• 1:28
  before,
• 1:28
  but
• 1:28
  I
• 1:28
  was
• 1:28
  a
• 1:29
  sewing
• 1:29
  blogger
• 1:29
  for
• 1:29
  a
• 1:29
  long
• 1:29
  time.
• 1:30
  So
• 1:30
  I
• 1:30
  have
• 1:30
  a
• 1:30
  special
• 1:30
  place
• 1:31
  in
• 1:31
  my
• 1:31
  heart
• 1:31
  for
• 1:31
  crafts
• 1:32
  and
• 1:32
  anything
• 1:32
  creative.
• 1:33
  It's
• 1:33
  so
• 1:33
  fun.
• 1:34
  Oh,
• 1:34
  yes.
• 1:35
  Same,
• 1:35
  same
• 1:35
  lane.
• 1:36
  Same
• 1:36
  lane.
• 1:37
  We're
• 1:37
  in
• 1:37
  the
• 1:37
  same
• 1:37
  lane.
• 1:38
  So
• 1:38
  tell
• 1:38
  me
• 1:39
  just
• 1:39
  a
• 1:39
  little
• 1:39
  bit
• 1:39
  before
• 1:39
  we
• 1:39
  get
• 1:40
  into
• 1:40
  coaching,
• 1:40
  because
• 1:40
  those
• 1:41
  of
• 1:41
  us
• 1:41
  who
• 1:41
  are
• 1:41
  coaches,
• 1:42
  No,
• 1:42
  that
• 1:42
  very
• 1:43
  often
• 1:43
  it's
• 1:43
  like
• 1:43
  this
• 1:44
  long
• 1:44
  kind
• 1:44
  of
• 1:45
  meandering
• 1:45
  path
• 1:46
  to
• 1:46
  get
• 1:46
  to
• 1:46
  where
• 1:46
  we
• 1:46
  are,
• 1:47
  right?
• 1:47
  Like
• 1:47
  we
• 1:47
  have
• 1:47
  maybe
• 1:48
  like
• 1:48
  a
• 1:48
  trial
• 1:48
  or
• 1:48
  something
• 1:49
  that
• 1:49
  happens.
• 1:49
  And
• 1:49
  then
• 1:49
  all
• 1:50
  of
• 1:50
  a
• 1:50
  sudden,
• 1:50
  when
• 1:50
  we
• 1:50
  find
• 1:51
  the
• 1:51
  tools
• 1:51
  that
• 1:51
  coaching
• 1:52
  offers
• 1:52
  us,
• 1:52
  we're
• 1:52
  like,
• 1:53
  Oh,
• 1:53
  this
• 1:54
  changes
• 1:54
  so
• 1:54
  much.
• 1:55
  Do
• 1:55
  you
• 1:55
  feel
• 1:55
  like
• 1:55
  that
• 1:55
  was
• 1:55
  the
• 1:55
  case
• 1:56
  for
• 1:56
  you
• 1:56
  going
• 1:57
  into
• 1:57
  coaching
• 1:57
  that
• 1:58
  you
• 1:58
  were
• 1:58
  kind
• 1:58
  of
• 1:58
  led
• 1:58
  to
• 1:58
  it?
• 2:00
  100
• 2:00
  percent
• 2:01
  100
• 2:01
  percent
• 2:02
  led
• 2:02
  to,
• 2:02
  I,
• 2:02
  I
• 2:02
  believe
• 2:03
  that
• 2:03
  I've
• 2:04
  been
• 2:04
  led
• 2:04
  to
• 2:05
  all
• 2:05
  the
• 2:05
  different
• 2:05
  things
• 2:05
  that
• 2:06
  I
• 2:06
  have
• 2:06
  pursued.
• 2:07
  And
• 2:08
  but
• 2:08
  this,
• 2:08
  this
• 2:09
  particularly
• 2:10
  my
• 2:10
  husband
• 2:11
  had
• 2:11
  passed
• 2:11
  away.
• 2:12
  He
• 2:13
  was
• 2:13
  a
• 2:13
  quadriplegic
• 2:14
  in
• 2:14
  a
• 2:14
  wheelchair.
• 2:15
  He
• 2:15
  had
• 2:15
  broken
• 2:16
  his
• 2:16
  neck
• 2:16
  when
• 2:16
  he
• 2:16
  was
• 2:16
  15
• 2:17
  years
• 2:17
  old
• 2:18
  at
• 2:18
  Lake
• 2:18
  Powell,
• 2:19
  and
• 2:19
  we
• 2:20
  met
• 2:20
  at
• 2:20
  Brigham
• 2:21
  Young
• 2:21
  University.
• 2:22
  When
• 2:22
  we
• 2:22
  were
• 2:22
  in
• 2:22
  college,
• 2:23
  got
• 2:23
  married,
• 2:24
  that
• 2:24
  was
• 2:24
  way
• 2:24
  back
• 2:24
  in
• 2:25
  1992.
• 2:29
  Back
• 2:29
  in
• 2:29
  the
• 2:30
  1900s
• 2:30
  as
• 2:30
  my
• 2:30
  kids
• 2:30
  say,
• 2:31
  right.
• 2:32
  And
• 2:32
  we
• 2:32
  were
• 2:32
  married
• 2:33
  for
• 2:33
  a
• 2:33
  long
• 2:33
  time.
• 2:34
  And
• 2:34
  and
• 2:34
  so
• 2:35
  I
• 2:35
  was
• 2:35
  a
• 2:36
  caregiver.
• 2:36
  We,
• 2:37
  we
• 2:37
  also
• 2:37
  had
• 2:38
  a
• 2:38
  lot
• 2:38
  of
• 2:38
  help
• 2:39
  when
• 2:39
  it,
• 2:39
  when
• 2:39
  it
• 2:39
  came
• 2:39
  to
• 2:40
  that.
• 2:40
  He
• 2:41
  was
• 2:41
  a
• 2:41
  motivational
• 2:41
  speaker
• 2:42
  and
• 2:43
  there
• 2:43
  were,
• 2:43
  there
• 2:44
  were
• 2:44
  all
• 2:44
  kinds
• 2:44
  of
• 2:44
  physical
• 2:45
  things
• 2:45
  that
• 2:46
  Just
• 2:46
  came
• 2:46
  our
• 2:46
  way,
• 2:47
  you
• 2:47
  know,
• 2:48
  with
• 2:48
  his
• 2:49
  situation
• 2:49
  and,
• 2:50
  and
• 2:50
  different,
• 2:52
  different
• 2:52
  things
• 2:52
  that
• 2:52
  happen
• 2:53
  to
• 2:53
  your
• 2:53
  body
• 2:53
  when
• 2:53
  you
• 2:53
  are
• 2:54
  quadriplegic
• 2:55
  plus
• 2:55
  different
• 2:55
  things
• 2:55
  that,
• 2:56
  that
• 2:56
  we
• 2:56
  experienced,
• 2:57
  you
• 2:57
  know,
• 2:58
  health
• 2:58
  wise.
• 2:58
  And
• 2:59
  so
• 2:59
  I
• 2:59
  have
• 3:00
  a
• 3:00
  lot
• 3:00
  of
• 3:00
  understanding
• 3:01
  about
• 3:02
  what
• 3:02
  it's
• 3:02
  like
• 3:03
  to
• 3:05
  live
• 3:05
  with
• 3:05
  a
• 3:05
  disability
• 3:07
  and
• 3:07
  care
• 3:07
  for
• 3:08
  somebody
• 3:08
  that
• 3:09
  has
• 3:09
  a
• 3:09
  disability
• 3:10
  and
• 3:10
  to,
• 3:11
  to
• 3:11
  kind
• 3:11
  of
• 3:11
  persevere
• 3:12
  through
• 3:12
  those
• 3:13
  things.
• 3:13
  And
• 3:13
  how
• 3:14
  do
• 3:14
  we
• 3:14
  want
• 3:14
  to
• 3:14
  live?
• 3:15
  When
• 3:17
  we
• 3:17
  have
• 3:17
  challenging
• 3:18
  circumstances
• 3:19
  and
• 3:19
  and
• 3:19
  so
• 3:19
  Jason
• 3:20
  and
• 3:20
  I
• 3:20
  made
• 3:20
  deliberate
• 3:21
  choices
• 3:22
  about
• 3:23
  how
• 3:23
  we
• 3:23
  wanted
• 3:24
  to
• 3:25
  to
• 3:25
  live
• 3:26
  our
• 3:26
  lives.
• 3:26
  You
• 3:26
  know,
• 3:27
  we,
• 3:27
  we
• 3:27
  were
• 3:27
  not
• 3:27
  interested
• 3:28
  in
• 3:28
  just
• 3:28
  enduring
• 3:30
  we
• 3:30
  wanted
• 3:30
  to.
• 3:32
  Endure
• 3:32
  it
• 3:32
  well,
• 3:33
  and
• 3:33
  endure
• 3:34
  it
• 3:34
  happily.
• 3:35
  And
• 3:35
  so
• 3:35
  we
• 3:36
  use,
• 3:36
  we
• 3:36
  had
• 3:36
  some
• 3:36
  different
• 3:37
  I
• 3:38
  guess
• 3:38
  things
• 3:39
  in
• 3:39
  our
• 3:39
  toolkit
• 3:39
  that
• 3:40
  that
• 3:40
  we
• 3:40
  use
• 3:40
  to
• 3:41
  help
• 3:41
  us
• 3:41
  live
• 3:41
  the
• 3:42
  very
• 3:42
  best
• 3:42
  life
• 3:42
  that
• 3:42
  we
• 3:42
  could.
• 3:43
  And
• 3:43
  so
• 3:44
  he
• 3:44
  was
• 3:44
  a
• 3:44
  motivational
• 3:45
  speaker.
• 3:45
  He
• 3:45
  would
• 3:45
  speak
• 3:46
  to
• 3:46
  corporations
• 3:46
  and
• 3:46
  companies,
• 3:47
  and
• 3:47
  we
• 3:47
  were
• 3:47
  kind
• 3:47
  of
• 3:48
  in
• 3:48
  this.
• 3:49
  Space
• 3:49
  anyway,
• 3:51
  motivation
• 3:51
  or,
• 3:52
  you
• 3:52
  know,
• 3:52
  positive
• 3:53
  thinking
• 3:54
  and
• 3:54
  stuff
• 3:54
  like
• 3:54
  that.
• 3:54
  So
• 3:55
  when
• 3:55
  he
• 3:55
  passed
• 3:55
  away
• 3:56
  unexpectedly
• 3:57
  I
• 3:58
  had,
• 3:58
  I
• 3:58
  actually
• 3:59
  had
• 3:59
  like
• 3:59
  1
• 3:59
  goal.
• 4:00
  It
• 4:00
  was,
• 4:00
  this
• 4:00
  was
• 4:00
  about
• 4:01
  a
• 4:01
  year
• 4:01
  after
• 4:01
  he
• 4:01
  passed
• 4:02
  and
• 4:03
  I
• 4:03
  had
• 4:03
  like
• 4:04
  1
• 4:04
  goal.
• 4:04
  I
• 4:05
  was
• 4:05
  just
• 4:05
  going
• 4:05
  to
• 4:06
  walk
• 4:06
  15,
• 4:07
  000
• 4:07
  steps
• 4:07
  a
• 4:07
  day.
• 4:08
  Like,
• 4:09
  that
• 4:09
  was
• 4:09
  my
• 4:09
  goal
• 4:11
  and
• 4:12
  care
• 4:12
  for
• 4:12
  my
• 4:12
  child,
• 4:13
  you
• 4:13
  know,
• 4:13
  like,
• 4:13
  like
• 4:14
  my,
• 4:14
  my
• 4:14
  son
• 4:15
  Coleman,
• 4:15
  he,
• 4:16
  you
• 4:16
  know,
• 4:16
  needed
• 4:17
  a
• 4:17
  driver
• 4:17
  and
• 4:17
  he
• 4:17
  needed
• 4:18
  food
• 4:18
  and,
• 4:19
  you
• 4:19
  know,
• 4:19
  all
• 4:19
  that
• 4:19
  kind
• 4:19
  of
• 4:20
  stuff.
• 4:20
  So
• 4:20
  I
• 4:20
  was,
• 4:20
  I
• 4:20
  was
• 4:20
  doing
• 4:21
  all
• 4:21
  of
• 4:21
  that,
• 4:21
  but,
• 4:21
  but
• 4:22
  I,
• 4:22
  I
• 4:22
  wasn't
• 4:23
  working
• 4:23
  at
• 4:23
  that
• 4:24
  time.
• 4:24
  I
• 4:24
  had
• 4:24
  stopped
• 4:25
  designing
• 4:26
  in
• 4:26
  the
• 4:26
  craft
• 4:26
  industry.
• 4:27
  I
• 4:28
  felt
• 4:28
  like
• 4:28
  I
• 4:28
  needed
• 4:28
  a
• 4:28
  break
• 4:29
  and,
• 4:30
  and
• 4:30
  I
• 4:30
  really
• 4:31
  wasn't
• 4:32
  pursuing
• 4:33
  anything
• 4:34
  other
• 4:34
  than,
• 4:35
  you
• 4:35
  know,
• 4:35
  You
• 4:36
  know,
• 4:36
  I'm
• 4:36
  going
• 4:36
  to
• 4:36
  walk
• 4:36
  15,
• 4:37
  000
• 4:37
  steps
• 4:37
  a
• 4:37
  day.
• 4:38
  And
• 4:38
  so
• 4:38
  that
• 4:39
  actually
• 4:39
  takes
• 4:39
  quite
• 4:40
  a
• 4:40
  while
• 4:41
  every
• 4:41
  day
• 4:42
  to,
• 4:43
  to,
• 4:43
  you
• 4:44
  know,
• 4:44
  check
• 4:44
  that
• 4:44
  off
• 4:44
  the
• 4:44
  list.
• 4:45
  And
• 4:46
  as
• 4:46
  I
• 4:46
  was
• 4:46
  doing
• 4:47
  it,
• 4:47
  I
• 4:47
  was
• 4:47
  listening
• 4:48
  to
• 4:48
  podcasts
• 4:48
  or
• 4:48
  audio
• 4:49
  books
• 4:49
  or,
• 4:50
  or
• 4:50
  whatever.
• 4:50
  And
• 4:50
  I
• 4:50
  would
• 4:50
  walk
• 4:51
  around
• 4:51
  our
• 4:51
  neighborhood.
• 4:51
  I
• 4:51
  walked
• 4:52
  everywhere.
• 4:52
  Like
• 4:52
  people
• 4:53
  would
• 4:53
  say.
• 4:54
  Gosh,
• 4:54
  I
• 4:54
  saw
• 4:55
  you
• 4:55
  three
• 4:55
  times,
• 4:56
  you
• 4:56
  know,
• 4:56
  walk
• 4:56
  by
• 4:56
  my
• 4:56
  house.
• 4:57
  I'm
• 4:57
  like,
• 4:57
  yep,
• 4:57
  you
• 4:58
  did.
• 4:59
  But
• 4:59
  as
• 5:00
  I
• 5:00
  was,
• 5:00
  was
• 5:00
  kind
• 5:01
  of
• 5:01
  in
• 5:01
  that
• 5:01
  mode,
• 5:02
  I
• 5:02
  had
• 5:02
  two
• 5:03
  friends
• 5:03
  in
• 5:03
  the
• 5:03
  same
• 5:04
  week.
• 5:04
  They
• 5:05
  said,
• 5:05
  you
• 5:06
  know,
• 5:06
  you
• 5:06
  really
• 5:06
  remind
• 5:07
  me
• 5:07
  of
• 5:08
  this
• 5:09
  person
• 5:09
  that
• 5:10
  has
• 5:10
  a
• 5:10
  podcast.
• 5:10
  You
• 5:11
  sound
• 5:11
  like
• 5:11
  her.
• 5:12
  That's,
• 5:12
  that's
• 5:12
  what
• 5:13
  they
• 5:13
  said.
• 5:13
  You
• 5:13
  sound
• 5:13
  like
• 5:13
  her,
• 5:14
  like
• 5:14
  your
• 5:14
  philosophy
• 5:15
  sounds
• 5:15
  like
• 5:16
  her.
• 5:16
  And
• 5:17
  it
• 5:17
  was
• 5:17
  Jodi
• 5:17
  Moore.
• 5:18
  It
• 5:18
  was
• 5:19
  more.
• 5:19
  And
• 5:19
  so
• 5:20
  I,
• 5:20
  that
• 5:20
  was
• 5:20
  the
• 5:20
  first
• 5:20
  time
• 5:21
  I
• 5:21
  had
• 5:21
  heard
• 5:21
  of
• 5:21
  Jodi
• 5:21
  Moore.
• 5:22
  And
• 5:22
  I
• 5:23
  started
• 5:23
  listening
• 5:23
  to
• 5:23
  her
• 5:24
  podcast,
• 5:24
  and
• 5:24
  I
• 5:24
  kind
• 5:25
  of,
• 5:25
  you
• 5:25
  know,
• 5:25
  in
• 5:26
  all
• 5:26
  this
• 5:26
  time,
• 5:26
  I
• 5:26
  had
• 5:27
  lots
• 5:27
  of
• 5:28
  chances
• 5:28
  to
• 5:29
  go
• 5:29
  back
• 5:30
  and
• 5:31
  listen
• 5:31
  to
• 5:31
  all
• 5:32
  the
• 5:32
  podcast
• 5:32
  episodes.
• 5:33
  And
• 5:34
  as
• 5:34
  she
• 5:34
  was
• 5:35
  talking
• 5:35
  about
• 5:35
  some
• 5:35
  of
• 5:35
  these
• 5:36
  life
• 5:36
  coaching
• 5:36
  principles
• 5:38
  it
• 5:38
  really
• 5:38
  resonated
• 5:39
  because
• 5:39
  it
• 5:39
  was
• 5:40
  like,
• 5:40
  okay,
• 5:40
  this
• 5:40
  is
• 5:40
  how
• 5:41
  we've
• 5:41
  lived
• 5:41
  our
• 5:41
  lives.
• 5:42
  Me
• 5:42
  and
• 5:43
  Jason,
• 5:43
  this
• 5:43
  is
• 5:43
  how
• 5:44
  we've
• 5:44
  chosen
• 5:44
  to
• 5:44
  live
• 5:44
  our
• 5:44
  lives,
• 5:45
  but
• 5:45
  you've
• 5:46
  given
• 5:46
  me
• 5:46
  like
• 5:47
  structure
• 5:48
  to
• 5:48
  it.
• 5:48
  There's
• 5:49
  a
• 5:49
  system,
• 5:50
  like
• 5:50
  step
• 5:51
  1,
• 5:51
  step
• 5:51
  2,
• 5:52
  step
• 5:52
  3,
• 5:52
  whatever.
• 5:53
  And
• 5:53
  I'm
• 5:53
  like,
• 5:53
  oh,
• 5:54
  it
• 5:54
  makes
• 5:54
  so
• 5:54
  much
• 5:54
  sense.
• 5:55
  It
• 5:55
  was
• 5:55
  very
• 5:55
  logical
• 5:56
  to
• 5:56
  me.
• 5:56
  And
• 5:57
  so
• 5:57
  she
• 5:57
  had
• 5:57
  gone
• 5:58
  to
• 5:58
  the
• 5:58
  life
• 5:58
  coach
• 5:58
  school
• 5:58
  and
• 5:59
  I
• 5:59
  was
• 5:59
  like,
• 5:59
  okay,
• 6:00
  well,
• 6:00
  I'll
• 6:00
  go
• 6:01
  to
• 6:01
  the
• 6:01
  life
• 6:01
  coach
• 6:01
  school.
• 6:01
  And
• 6:02
  I
• 6:02
  had
• 6:02
  no,
• 6:03
  Intention
• 6:04
  of
• 6:04
  becoming
• 6:04
  a
• 6:05
  life
• 6:05
  coach.
• 6:05
  I
• 6:05
  wasn't
• 6:05
  really
• 6:06
  interested
• 6:07
  in
• 6:07
  starting
• 6:08
  another
• 6:08
  business
• 6:09
  and
• 6:09
  things
• 6:09
  like
• 6:09
  that.
• 6:09
  And
• 6:10
  so
• 6:10
  it
• 6:11
  wasn't
• 6:11
  until
• 6:11
  I
• 6:11
  was
• 6:12
  doing
• 6:13
  some,
• 6:14
  I
• 6:14
  had
• 6:14
  a
• 6:14
  goal
• 6:14
  to
• 6:15
  do
• 6:15
  like
• 6:15
  a
• 6:15
  hundred
• 6:16
  free
• 6:17
  coaching
• 6:17
  sessions.
• 6:18
  And
• 6:18
  in
• 6:18
  that
• 6:18
  process,
• 6:20
  I
• 6:20
  decided
• 6:21
  I
• 6:22
  kind
• 6:22
  of
• 6:22
  like
• 6:22
  this
• 6:23
  and
• 6:23
  I
• 6:23
  think
• 6:23
  I'm
• 6:23
  pretty
• 6:24
  good
• 6:24
  at
• 6:24
  it.
• 6:24
  So
• 6:25
  let's
• 6:26
  go
• 6:26
  for
• 6:26
  it.
• 6:26
  So
• 6:27
  that
• 6:27
  was,
• 6:27
  that
• 6:28
  was
• 6:28
  my
• 6:28
  journey
• 6:28
  to
• 6:29
  it.
• 6:29
  I
• 6:29
  felt
• 6:29
  like
• 6:29
  it
• 6:29
  was
• 6:30
  things
• 6:30
  clicking
• 6:31
  into
• 6:31
  place.
• 6:33
  Yeah.
• 6:34
  Yeah.
• 6:35
  I
• 6:35
  hear
• 6:35
  that
• 6:35
  a
• 6:35
  lot.
• 6:35
  And
• 6:35
  it
• 6:36
  was
• 6:36
  for
• 6:36
  sure
• 6:36
  true
• 6:37
  for
• 6:37
  me
• 6:37
  as
• 6:37
  well,
• 6:38
  that
• 6:38
  it
• 6:38
  was
• 6:38
  like
• 6:38
  right
• 6:38
  time,
• 6:39
  right
• 6:39
  place.
• 6:39
  And
• 6:39
  so
• 6:39
  many
• 6:40
  things
• 6:40
  made
• 6:40
  sense.
• 6:40
  And
• 6:41
  I
• 6:41
  find
• 6:41
  that
• 6:41
  fascinating.
• 6:42
  Well,
• 6:42
  first
• 6:42
  of
• 6:42
  all,
• 6:43
  your
• 6:43
  entire
• 6:43
  story
• 6:44
  is
• 6:44
  so
• 6:44
  fascinating
• 6:44
  to
• 6:44
  me,
• 6:45
  especially
• 6:46
  the
• 6:46
  fact
• 6:47
  that
• 6:47
  his,
• 6:48
  he
• 6:48
  was
• 6:48
  injured
• 6:49
  at
• 6:49
  such
• 6:49
  a
• 6:49
  young
• 6:49
  age
• 6:50
  and
• 6:51
  injured
• 6:51
  before
• 6:52
  you
• 6:52
  guys
• 6:52
  met.
• 6:52
  And
• 6:52
  so
• 6:53
  your
• 6:53
  entire
• 6:53
  relationship
• 6:54
  was
• 6:54
  like
• 6:54
  eyes
• 6:54
  wide
• 6:55
  open.
• 6:55
  We
• 6:56
  know
• 6:56
  exactly
• 6:56
  what
• 6:56
  we're
• 6:56
  getting
• 6:57
  into.
• 6:57
  Maybe
• 6:57
  not
• 6:57
  exactly,
• 6:59
  but
• 6:59
  I
• 6:59
  find
• 6:59
  that
• 6:59
  so
• 7:00
  courageous
• 7:00
  and
• 7:00
  so
• 7:00
  amazing
• 7:01
  that
• 7:01
  it
• 7:01
  was
• 7:01
  like,
• 7:02
  if
• 7:02
  we're
• 7:02
  going
• 7:02
  to
• 7:03
  enjoy
• 7:03
  this
• 7:03
  life,
• 7:03
  not
• 7:04
  just
• 7:04
  endure
• 7:04
  it.
• 7:04
  Like
• 7:04
  you're
• 7:04
  saying,
• 7:05
  we
• 7:05
  have
• 7:05
  to
• 7:05
  have
• 7:05
  some,
• 7:05
  some
• 7:06
  tools
• 7:06
  for
• 7:06
  this.
• 7:06
  We,
• 7:07
  we
• 7:07
  can't
• 7:07
  just,
• 7:08
  you
• 7:08
  know,
• 7:08
  have
• 7:09
  a
• 7:09
  hard
• 7:09
  day
• 7:09
  and
• 7:09
  let
• 7:09
  it
• 7:09
  get
• 7:10
  us
• 7:10
  down
• 7:10
  because
• 7:10
  they're
• 7:10
  going
• 7:11
  to
• 7:11
  be
• 7:11
  a
• 7:11
  lot
• 7:11
  harder
• 7:11
  days.
• 7:11
  Right.
• 7:12
  And
• 7:12
  what
• 7:12
  a
• 7:12
  gift.
• 7:14
  That
• 7:14
  you
• 7:14
  gave
• 7:14
  to
• 7:14
  each
• 7:14
  other
• 7:15
  in
• 7:16
  structuring
• 7:17
  your
• 7:17
  life
• 7:17
  in
• 7:17
  such
• 7:17
  a
• 7:17
  way
• 7:17
  that
• 7:18
  this
• 7:18
  wasn't
• 7:18
  a
• 7:18
  surprise
• 7:19
  to
• 7:19
  you.
• 7:19
  Like
• 7:19
  you,
• 7:19
  you
• 7:20
  came
• 7:20
  across
• 7:20
  coaching
• 7:20
  and
• 7:21
  you're
• 7:21
  like,
• 7:21
  Oh,
• 7:21
  actually,
• 7:21
  yeah,
• 7:22
  I
• 7:22
  know
• 7:22
  a
• 7:22
  lot
• 7:22
  of
• 7:22
  this,
• 7:23
  right?
• 7:23
  I've,
• 7:23
  I've
• 7:24
  applied
• 7:25
  a
• 7:25
  lot
• 7:25
  of
• 7:25
  this
• 7:25
  and
• 7:25
  I
• 7:25
  know
• 7:26
  it's
• 7:26
  going
• 7:26
  to
• 7:26
  bring
• 7:26
  me
• 7:26
  joy
• 7:27
  and
• 7:28
  help
• 7:28
  me
• 7:28
  feel
• 7:28
  other
• 7:28
  things,
• 7:29
  right?
• 7:29
  That's
• 7:29
  another
• 7:29
  thing
• 7:29
  that
• 7:29
  we
• 7:29
  forget
• 7:30
  about
• 7:31
  when
• 7:31
  we're
• 7:31
  outside
• 7:31
  of
• 7:32
  coaching,
• 7:32
  right?
• 7:32
  We
• 7:32
  think
• 7:32
  happiness
• 7:33
  is
• 7:33
  the
• 7:33
  ultimate
• 7:34
  goal.
• 7:35
  It's
• 7:35
  not
• 7:35
  really,
• 7:35
  it's,
• 7:35
  it's
• 7:36
  living
• 7:36
  life
• 7:36
  and
• 7:37
  being
• 7:37
  able
• 7:37
  to
• 7:37
  enjoy
• 7:37
  both
• 7:37
  happiness
• 7:38
  and
• 7:38
  sorrow
• 7:39
  and
• 7:39
  all
• 7:39
  the
• 7:39
  other
• 7:39
  stuff
• 7:39
  that
• 7:39
  comes
• 7:40
  along
• 7:40
  with
• 7:40
  it.
• 7:41
  Absolutely.
• 7:42
  Yeah,
• 7:42
  that's
• 7:42
  for
• 7:42
  sure.
• 7:43
  And
• 7:43
  that
• 7:44
  is
• 7:44
  really
• 7:44
  interesting.
• 7:45
  The,
• 7:45
  I
• 7:45
  feel
• 7:46
  like
• 7:46
  I'm
• 7:46
  a
• 7:46
  very
• 7:46
  good
• 7:47
  griever
• 7:49
  as
• 7:49
  a
• 7:49
  widow.
• 7:50
  And
• 7:50
  so
• 7:50
  you
• 7:50
  kind
• 7:50
  of
• 7:50
  touched
• 7:51
  on
• 7:51
  this
• 7:51
  just
• 7:51
  a
• 7:51
  little
• 7:51
  bit,
• 7:52
  feeling
• 7:52
  all
• 7:52
  the
• 7:52
  things.
• 7:53
  And
• 7:53
  it's
• 7:54
  not
• 7:54
  because
• 7:55
  what
• 7:55
  people
• 7:56
  might
• 7:56
  think
• 7:56
  people
• 7:56
  might
• 7:56
  think,
• 7:57
  oh,
• 7:57
  well,
• 7:57
  she's
• 7:57
  so
• 7:57
  strong
• 7:58
  or
• 7:58
  she,
• 7:59
  you
• 7:59
  know,
• 8:00
  is
• 8:00
  thriving
• 8:01
  or
• 8:01
  whatever.
• 8:02
  It's
• 8:02
  like,
• 8:02
  yeah,
• 8:03
  that
• 8:03
  is
• 8:03
  true.
• 8:04
  But
• 8:04
  it's
• 8:05
  the
• 8:05
  reason
• 8:05
  why
• 8:05
  I'm
• 8:05
  a
• 8:05
  good
• 8:05
  griever
• 8:06
  is
• 8:06
  because
• 8:06
  I
• 8:06
  allow
• 8:07
  my
• 8:07
  emotions.
• 8:08
  Because
• 8:08
  you
• 8:08
  actually
• 8:08
  grieve
• 8:09
  Yeah.
• 8:10
  I,
• 8:11
  I,
• 8:11
  I
• 8:11
  live
• 8:11
  the
• 8:12
  emotion.
• 8:12
  I
• 8:12
  feel
• 8:13
  it.
• 8:13
  I
• 8:13
  welcome
• 8:13
  it,
• 8:13
  it,
• 8:14
  it's,
• 8:14
  it's
• 8:15
  part
• 8:16
  of
• 8:16
  the
• 8:16
  remembering
• 8:17
  for
• 8:17
  me,
• 8:18
  it's
• 8:18
  part
• 8:18
  of
• 8:18
  the
• 8:18
  love
• 8:19
  for
• 8:19
  me.
• 8:20
  And
• 8:20
  so
• 8:20
  when,
• 8:20
  when
• 8:21
  I
• 8:21
  have
• 8:21
  those
• 8:21
  moments
• 8:21
  where
• 8:22
  it
• 8:22
  washes
• 8:22
  over
• 8:22
  me,
• 8:22
  whether
• 8:23
  it's
• 8:23
  anger
• 8:23
  or
• 8:24
  worry,
• 8:24
  or
• 8:25
  sorrow
• 8:26
  or
• 8:26
  whatever,
• 8:26
  then
• 8:27
  like
• 8:27
  I
• 8:27
  will
• 8:27
  sob
• 8:28
  hard
• 8:31
  on
• 8:31
  purpose.
• 8:33
  And
• 8:33
  it's
• 8:33
  like,
• 8:34
  bring
• 8:34
  it,
• 8:35
  you
• 8:35
  know,
• 8:36
  I'm,
• 8:36
  I'm
• 8:36
  feeling
• 8:36
  it,
• 8:37
  I'm
• 8:37
  bringing
• 8:37
  it
• 8:38
  and
• 8:38
  I
• 8:38
  have
• 8:38
  a
• 8:38
  lot
• 8:39
  of,
• 8:39
  you
• 8:39
  know,
• 8:39
  I
• 8:39
  have
• 8:40
  my
• 8:40
  own
• 8:40
  coach.
• 8:40
  I
• 8:40
  have
• 8:41
  a
• 8:41
  hypnotherapist
• 8:42
  that
• 8:42
  I
• 8:42
  use.
• 8:42
  So
• 8:42
  like,
• 8:43
  I,
• 8:43
  I
• 8:43
  have
• 8:44
  used
• 8:45
  resources.
• 8:46
  I
• 8:46
  put
• 8:46
  resources
• 8:47
  around
• 8:47
  me
• 8:48
  to
• 8:48
  help
• 8:49
  me,
• 8:49
  you
• 8:49
  know,
• 8:50
  be
• 8:50
  the
• 8:50
  very
• 8:51
  best
• 8:51
  griever
• 8:51
  that
• 8:51
  I
• 8:52
  can
• 8:52
  be.
• 8:52
  And
• 8:53
  I
• 8:53
  think
• 8:53
  that.
• 8:54
  That
• 8:54
  is
• 8:55
  such
• 8:55
  a
• 8:55
  valuable
• 8:55
  concept
• 8:56
  to
• 8:57
  allow
• 8:57
  ourselves
• 8:58
  to
• 8:58
  feel
• 8:59
  whatever
• 8:59
  it
• 8:59
  is
• 8:59
  we're
• 8:59
  feeling
• 9:00
  and
• 9:00
  not
• 9:01
  have
• 9:01
  like
• 9:01
  a
• 9:01
  timeline
• 9:02
  or
• 9:03
  grieving
• 9:04
  is
• 9:04
  such
• 9:04
  an
• 9:04
  interesting
• 9:05
  thing
• 9:05
  because
• 9:06
  lots
• 9:06
  of
• 9:06
  people
• 9:06
  will
• 9:06
  say,
• 9:07
  well,
• 9:07
  I
• 9:07
  should
• 9:07
  be
• 9:08
  at
• 9:08
  a
• 9:08
  certain
• 9:09
  point.
• 9:11
  You
• 9:11
  know,
• 9:11
  like
• 9:12
  this
• 9:12
  timeline,
• 9:13
  and
• 9:13
  there
• 9:13
  is,
• 9:14
  there
• 9:14
  is
• 9:14
  no
• 9:15
  timeline,
• 9:16
  there
• 9:16
  is
• 9:16
  no
• 9:17
  point
• 9:18
  to
• 9:18
  be
• 9:18
  at.
• 9:19
  There
• 9:19
  is
• 9:19
  no
• 9:20
  moment
• 9:20
  that
• 9:21
  you're
• 9:21
  over
• 9:21
  things
• 9:22
  or
• 9:22
  that
• 9:22
  you
• 9:22
  should
• 9:22
  be
• 9:23
  XYZ.
• 9:24
  So
• 9:25
  I
• 9:25
  just
• 9:25
  like
• 9:26
  to
• 9:26
  tell
• 9:26
  people,
• 9:26
  you
• 9:26
  know,
• 9:27
  Do
• 9:27
  you
• 9:28
  need
• 9:28
  some
• 9:28
  help
• 9:28
  getting
• 9:30
  through
• 9:30
  this?
• 9:31
  Then
• 9:32
  like
• 9:32
  get
• 9:32
  the
• 9:32
  help,
• 9:33
  right?
• 9:34
  If
• 9:34
  you're
• 9:34
  kind
• 9:34
  of
• 9:34
  stuck,
• 9:35
  then
• 9:35
  get
• 9:35
  the
• 9:35
  help.
• 9:36
  But
• 9:37
  like,
• 9:37
  there
• 9:37
  is
• 9:38
  no
• 9:38
  timeline.
• 9:39
  I
• 9:40
  love
• 9:40
  that.
• 9:40
  That
• 9:40
  is
• 9:40
  so
• 9:41
  helpful.
• 9:41
  You
• 9:41
  know,
• 9:41
  I
• 9:42
  think
• 9:42
  there's
• 9:42
  two
• 9:42
  main
• 9:42
  reasons
• 9:43
  why
• 9:43
  people
• 9:43
  shy
• 9:43
  away
• 9:44
  from
• 9:44
  negative
• 9:44
  emotion
• 9:45
  in
• 9:45
  general.
• 9:46
  One
• 9:46
  is
• 9:46
  obviously
• 9:46
  it
• 9:46
  doesn't
• 9:47
  feel
• 9:47
  good,
• 9:47
  like
• 9:48
  happy,
• 9:48
  sad.
• 9:48
  I
• 9:49
  prefer
• 9:49
  happy.
• 9:49
  Right.
• 9:50
  But
• 9:50
  I
• 9:50
  think
• 9:50
  the
• 9:50
  main
• 9:51
  one,
• 9:51
  and
• 9:51
  this
• 9:51
  comes
• 9:51
  up
• 9:51
  for
• 9:51
  me
• 9:52
  a
• 9:52
  lot
• 9:52
  is
• 9:53
  worrying
• 9:53
  about.
• 9:55
  What
• 9:55
  do
• 9:55
  people
• 9:55
  think?
• 9:55
  Like
• 9:55
  how
• 9:56
  I'm
• 9:56
  supposed
• 9:56
  to
• 9:56
  look,
• 9:57
  I'm
• 9:57
  supposed
• 9:57
  to
• 9:57
  look
• 9:58
  like
• 9:58
  just
• 9:58
  an
• 9:58
  example
• 9:58
  in
• 9:59
  my
• 9:59
  own
• 9:59
  life.
• 9:59
  Cause
• 9:59
  I
• 9:59
  have
• 9:59
  a
• 9:59
  lot
• 10:00
  of
• 10:00
  kids
• 10:00
  and
• 10:00
  I
• 10:00
  homeschool
• 10:01
  some
• 10:01
  very
• 10:01
  intentional
• 10:02
  choices
• 10:02
  that
• 10:02
  make
• 10:02
  my
• 10:02
  life
• 10:02
  a
• 10:03
  little
• 10:03
  bit
• 10:03
  different.
• 10:04
  And
• 10:04
  I
• 10:04
  would
• 10:04
  say
• 10:04
  more
• 10:05
  difficult
• 10:05
  in
• 10:05
  some
• 10:05
  ways.
• 10:06
  And
• 10:06
  so
• 10:06
  I
• 10:07
  find
• 10:07
  myself
• 10:07
  not
• 10:07
  wanting
• 10:08
  to
• 10:08
  complain
• 10:09
  or
• 10:09
  be
• 10:09
  upset
• 10:10
  when
• 10:10
  things
• 10:10
  go
• 10:10
  wrong
• 10:11
  because
• 10:11
  I
• 10:11
  have
• 10:11
  to
• 10:11
  put
• 10:12
  on
• 10:12
  this
• 10:12
  face.
• 10:12
  Like
• 10:12
  I've
• 10:13
  got
• 10:13
  it
• 10:13
  all
• 10:13
  together.
• 10:14
  And
• 10:14
  I
• 10:14
  think
• 10:14
  what
• 10:15
  a
• 10:15
  disservice
• 10:15
  we
• 10:15
  do
• 10:15
  both
• 10:16
  to
• 10:16
  ourselves
• 10:16
  and
• 10:17
  others
• 10:17
  who
• 10:17
  find
• 10:17
  themselves
• 10:18
  in
• 10:18
  the
• 10:18
  same
• 10:18
  place
• 10:19
  going,
• 10:19
  I
• 10:19
  just
• 10:20
  need
• 10:20
  to
• 10:20
  connect
• 10:20
  with
• 10:20
  somebody
• 10:20
  that
• 10:21
  gets
• 10:21
  this.
• 10:22
  And
• 10:22
  we're,
• 10:22
  we've
• 10:23
  got
• 10:23
  this.
• 10:23
  Everything
• 10:23
  is
• 10:24
  fine.
• 10:24
  We're
• 10:24
  so
• 10:24
  great.
• 10:26
  Crying
• 10:26
  behind
• 10:26
  closed
• 10:27
  doors,
• 10:27
  kind
• 10:27
  of
• 10:27
  a
• 10:27
  thing.
• 10:28
  I
• 10:28
  mean,
• 10:28
  not
• 10:28
  that
• 10:28
  we
• 10:28
  have
• 10:29
  to
• 10:29
  air
• 10:29
  our
• 10:29
  dirty
• 10:29
  laundry,
• 10:30
  but
• 10:30
  to
• 10:30
  share
• 10:31
  it.
• 10:32
  I
• 10:32
  think
• 10:32
  we
• 10:32
  air
• 10:32
  dirty
• 10:33
  laundry.
• 10:34
  I
• 10:34
  mean,
• 10:35
  I
• 10:35
  don't
• 10:35
  know,
• 10:35
  like
• 10:35
  in
• 10:36
  a,
• 10:36
  I
• 10:36
  think
• 10:36
  there's
• 10:37
  very
• 10:37
  healthy
• 10:37
  ways.
• 10:38
  There's
• 10:38
  very
• 10:39
  healthy
• 10:39
  ways
• 10:40
  to,
• 10:40
  to
• 10:41
  like
• 10:41
  tell
• 10:41
  the
• 10:41
  truth.
• 10:43
  Also,
• 10:43
  you
• 10:44
  know,
• 10:44
  I,
• 10:44
  I
• 10:44
  teach
• 10:44
  my
• 10:45
  clients
• 10:45
  a
• 10:46
  principle
• 10:46
  called
• 10:46
  the
• 10:46
  generous
• 10:47
  and,
• 10:48
  and
• 10:49
  so
• 10:49
  it's
• 10:49
  like,
• 10:49
  yeah,
• 10:49
  I,
• 10:50
  I
• 10:50
  feel
• 10:51
  like
• 10:51
  crap
• 10:52
  and
• 10:54
  it's
• 10:54
  going
• 10:54
  to
• 10:54
  be
• 10:54
  okay.
• 10:56
  Both
• 10:56
  things
• 10:57
  can
• 10:57
  be
• 10:57
  true
• 10:58
  at
• 10:58
  the
• 10:58
  same
• 10:58
  time.
• 10:59
  And
• 11:00
  so
• 11:00
  this
• 11:01
  idea
• 11:01
  of
• 11:02
  I
• 11:02
  don't,
• 11:02
  I
• 11:02
  don't
• 11:02
  love
• 11:03
  the
• 11:03
  phrase
• 11:04
  venting,
• 11:06
  you
• 11:06
  know,
• 11:06
  because
• 11:06
  when,
• 11:07
  because
• 11:07
  usually
• 11:07
  when
• 11:07
  we're
• 11:08
  venting,
• 11:08
  we
• 11:09
  are,
• 11:09
  we're
• 11:10
  just
• 11:10
  staying
• 11:11
  in
• 11:11
  the
• 11:11
  negative.
• 11:12
  And
• 11:14
  there's
• 11:14
  no,
• 11:15
  there's
• 11:15
  no
• 11:16
  view
• 11:17
  of
• 11:17
  what
• 11:18
  could
• 11:19
  be
• 11:20
  also
• 11:20
  true,
• 11:21
  you
• 11:21
  know,
• 11:21
  about
• 11:22
  being
• 11:22
  positive
• 11:23
  or
• 11:23
  that
• 11:23
  you
• 11:23
  are
• 11:24
  going
• 11:24
  to
• 11:24
  make
• 11:24
  through
• 11:24
  and
• 11:24
  make
• 11:25
  it
• 11:25
  through
• 11:25
  or
• 11:25
  whatever
• 11:25
  it
• 11:26
  is.
• 11:26
  And
• 11:26
  so
• 11:27
  I'm
• 11:27
  not
• 11:27
  a
• 11:27
  huge
• 11:27
  fan
• 11:28
  of
• 11:28
  just
• 11:28
  living
• 11:29
  in
• 11:29
  that
• 11:29
  negativity
• 11:30
  at
• 11:31
  all.
• 11:31
  Both
• 11:31
  things
• 11:32
  can
• 11:32
  exist,
• 11:33
  but
• 11:33
  I
• 11:33
  think
• 11:33
  it's
• 11:33
  important
• 11:34
  for
• 11:34
  us
• 11:34
  to
• 11:34
  say,
• 11:34
  yeah,
• 11:35
  like,
• 11:35
  today
• 11:35
  is
• 11:36
  hard.
• 11:37
  Yeah.
• 11:38
  And
• 11:39
  probably
• 11:39
  going
• 11:40
  to
• 11:40
  be
• 11:40
  over
• 11:40
  at
• 11:40
  some
• 11:40
  point,
• 11:41
  you
• 11:41
  know,
• 11:42
  like
• 11:42
  whenever
• 11:43
  it
• 11:43
  is.
• 11:43
  And
• 11:43
  so,
• 11:44
  I
• 11:44
  love
• 11:44
  that
• 11:45
  concept.
• 11:45
  And
• 11:45
  that
• 11:45
  is
• 11:45
  one
• 11:45
  of
• 11:45
  my
• 11:46
  favorite
• 11:46
  tools
• 11:46
  is
• 11:46
  the,
• 11:47
  and,
• 11:47
  you
• 11:47
  know,
• 11:47
  looking
• 11:48
  at
• 11:48
  families,
• 11:48
  for
• 11:48
  example,
• 11:49
  these
• 11:49
  laboratories,
• 11:49
  right.
• 11:50
  That
• 11:50
  are
• 11:50
  so
• 11:50
  hard
• 11:50
  and
• 11:50
  so
• 11:51
  wonderful
• 11:51
  at
• 11:51
  the
• 11:51
  same
• 11:51
  time
• 11:52
  that
• 11:53
  what,
• 11:53
  what
• 11:53
  a
• 11:53
  powerful
• 11:54
  thing
• 11:54
  it
• 11:54
  is
• 11:55
  to
• 11:55
  say,
• 11:56
  this
• 11:56
  really
• 11:56
  sucks
• 11:57
  right
• 11:57
  now.
• 11:57
  And.
• 11:58
  I
• 11:58
  wouldn't
• 11:58
  have
• 11:59
  it
• 11:59
  any
• 11:59
  other
• 11:59
  way.
• 11:59
  And
• 12:00
  this
• 12:00
  is
• 12:00
  what
• 12:00
  I've
• 12:00
  chosen
• 12:01
  or,
• 12:01
  and
• 12:02
  it
• 12:02
  will
• 12:02
  get
• 12:02
  better.
• 12:02
  And
• 12:03
  I
• 12:03
  know
• 12:03
  I
• 12:03
  made
• 12:04
  the
• 12:04
  right
• 12:04
  choice
• 12:04
  and
• 12:04
  whatever
• 12:05
  brings
• 12:05
  you
• 12:05
  the
• 12:05
  hope
• 12:06
  in
• 12:06
  that
• 12:06
  moment.
• 12:06
  Even
• 12:06
  while
• 12:07
  things
• 12:07
  feel
• 12:07
  like
• 12:08
  they're
• 12:08
  going
• 12:08
  down
• 12:08
  the
• 12:08
  toilet.
• 12:09
  Yeah.
• 12:10
  100%.
• 12:10
  And
• 12:11
  I
• 12:11
  want
• 12:11
  to
• 12:11
  mention
• 12:12
  also
• 12:12
  with
• 12:12
  grief,
• 12:13
  in
• 12:14
  case
• 12:14
  there's
• 12:14
  somebody
• 12:15
  out
• 12:15
  there
• 12:15
  that
• 12:15
  is
• 12:16
  on
• 12:16
  the
• 12:16
  flip
• 12:16
  side
• 12:16
  of
• 12:16
  this
• 12:17
  I
• 12:17
  found
• 12:18
  with
• 12:18
  grieving
• 12:18
  that
• 12:19
  people,
• 12:19
  instead
• 12:20
  of,
• 12:20
  well,
• 12:21
  you
• 12:21
  have
• 12:21
  the,
• 12:22
  you
• 12:22
  have.
• 12:23
  Times
• 12:23
  where
• 12:23
  you're
• 12:23
  like,
• 12:23
  I'm
• 12:24
  fine.
• 12:24
  I'm
• 12:24
  fine.
• 12:24
  I'm
• 12:25
  fine.
• 12:25
  You're
• 12:25
  not
• 12:25
  expressing
• 12:26
  what
• 12:26
  the
• 12:26
  problem
• 12:27
  is,
• 12:28
  but
• 12:28
  there's
• 12:28
  also
• 12:29
  this
• 12:29
  opposite
• 12:30
  of
• 12:32
  only
• 12:33
  saying
• 12:33
  it's
• 12:33
  bad
• 12:35
  and
• 12:36
  not
• 12:36
  allowing,
• 12:37
  like,
• 12:37
  I
• 12:38
  went
• 12:38
  through
• 12:38
  a
• 12:38
  time
• 12:39
  with
• 12:39
  with
• 12:39
  my
• 12:39
  coach.
• 12:40
  I
• 12:40
  had
• 12:40
  to
• 12:40
  talk
• 12:40
  to
• 12:40
  her
• 12:40
  a
• 12:40
  lot
• 12:41
  about
• 12:41
  it
• 12:41
  because.
• 12:42
  It
• 12:42
  was
• 12:42
  like,
• 12:44
  can
• 12:45
  I
• 12:45
  feel
• 12:45
  okay,
• 12:46
  and
• 12:47
  I
• 12:47
  feel
• 12:48
  like
• 12:49
  Coleman
• 12:49
  and
• 12:49
  I
• 12:49
  are
• 12:50
  thriving,
• 12:51
  or
• 12:51
  is
• 12:51
  that
• 12:51
  just
• 12:52
  loyal
• 12:52
  to
• 12:53
  the
• 12:53
  memory
• 12:54
  to
• 12:54
  the
• 12:54
  love
• 12:55
  I
• 12:55
  have
• 12:55
  for
• 12:55
  him
• 12:55
  to
• 12:56
  whatever.
• 12:57
  And
• 12:57
  so
• 12:57
  it's,
• 12:57
  it's
• 12:57
  an
• 12:58
  interesting
• 12:58
  thing
• 12:59
  that
• 12:59
  we
• 12:59
  can
• 12:59
  go
• 12:59
  both
• 13:00
  ways.
• 13:00
  And
• 13:00
  I
• 13:00
  think
• 13:00
  that's
• 13:00
  true
• 13:01
  with
• 13:01
  grief
• 13:01
  with
• 13:01
  with
• 13:02
  life,
• 13:02
  whatever
• 13:03
  that
• 13:03
  whatever
• 13:03
  it
• 13:04
  is,
• 13:04
  we
• 13:04
  think
• 13:04
  we're
• 13:04
  supposed
• 13:05
  to
• 13:05
  be
• 13:05
  feeling
• 13:07
  right?
• 13:08
  Like,
• 13:09
  just
• 13:09
  notice.
• 13:10
  Do
• 13:10
  I
• 13:10
  think
• 13:11
  I'm
• 13:11
  supposed
• 13:11
  to
• 13:11
  be
• 13:12
  feeling
• 13:12
  this
• 13:12
  and
• 13:12
  I'm
• 13:12
  like
• 13:13
  resisting
• 13:13
  it
• 13:14
  or
• 13:14
  whatever
• 13:14
  and
• 13:15
  and
• 13:16
  just
• 13:16
  notice
• 13:16
  that
• 13:17
  and
• 13:17
  it's
• 13:17
  okay
• 13:18
  to
• 13:18
  feel
• 13:18
  whatever
• 13:18
  it
• 13:18
  is
• 13:18
  you're
• 13:19
  feeling.
• 13:20
  Oh,
• 13:20
  I
• 13:20
  love
• 13:20
  that.
• 13:20
  Yeah.
• 13:21
  And
• 13:21
  there's
• 13:22
  no
• 13:22
  honor
• 13:22
  to
• 13:22
  be
• 13:23
  had
• 13:23
  in
• 13:24
  wearing
• 13:24
  misery
• 13:25
  like
• 13:25
  a
• 13:25
  badge.
• 13:26
  Yeah.
• 13:26
  So
• 13:26
  that's
• 13:26
  kind
• 13:27
  of
• 13:27
  an
• 13:27
  interesting,
• 13:28
  like
• 13:28
  it
• 13:28
  goes
• 13:28
  both
• 13:29
  ways,
• 13:29
  right?
• 13:29
  There's
• 13:30
  for
• 13:30
  sure.
• 13:30
  A
• 13:30
  pendulum.
• 13:30
  Yeah.
• 13:31
  I
• 13:31
  love
• 13:32
  that
• 13:32
  so
• 13:32
  much.
• 13:32
  Okay.
• 13:33
  So,
• 13:33
  so,
• 13:33
  so
• 13:34
  helpful.
• 13:34
  I
• 13:34
  love
• 13:35
  all
• 13:35
  this
• 13:35
  talk
• 13:35
  about
• 13:36
  just
• 13:37
  appreciating
• 13:38
  life,
• 13:38
  the
• 13:38
  highs,
• 13:38
  the
• 13:39
  lows,
• 13:39
  all
• 13:39
  of
• 13:39
  it,
• 13:39
  but
• 13:39
  I
• 13:39
  want
• 13:40
  to
• 13:40
  shift
• 13:40
  now
• 13:40
  into
• 13:41
  what
• 13:41
  you
• 13:41
  do
• 13:41
  as
• 13:41
  a
• 13:41
  coach,
• 13:41
  because
• 13:42
  I
• 13:42
  am
• 13:42
  fascinated
• 13:43
  by
• 13:43
  this.
• 13:44
  So
• 13:44
  tell
• 13:44
  us
• 13:44
  what,
• 13:44
  what
• 13:45
  your
• 13:45
  specialty
• 13:45
  is.
• 13:46
  Who
• 13:46
  do
• 13:46
  you
• 13:46
  help?
• 13:47
  I
• 13:47
  help
• 13:47
  high
• 13:47
  achievers
• 13:49
  create
• 13:49
  a
• 13:49
  hundred
• 13:49
  percent
• 13:50
  balance.
• 13:52
  I
• 13:52
  love
• 13:52
  it.
• 13:52
  I
• 13:52
  love
• 13:52
  it
• 13:52
  so
• 13:53
  much.
• 13:53
  I
• 13:53
  remember
• 13:54
  listening
• 13:54
  to
• 13:54
  a
• 13:54
  podcast.
• 13:55
  I
• 13:55
  just
• 13:55
  saw
• 13:55
  the
• 13:55
  title
• 13:56
  of
• 13:56
  a
• 13:56
  podcast,
• 13:56
  scroll
• 13:56
  up
• 13:57
  in
• 13:57
  my
• 13:57
  app
• 13:57
  and
• 13:57
  it
• 13:57
  said
• 13:58
  that
• 13:58
  light
• 13:58
  and
• 13:59
  dark
• 13:59
  side
• 13:59
  of
• 13:59
  high
• 13:59
  achieving.
• 14:00
  And
• 14:00
  I
• 14:00
  thought
• 14:01
  that's
• 14:01
  for
• 14:01
  me
• 14:02
  to
• 14:03
  know
• 14:03
  that
• 14:04
  sometimes
• 14:04
  it
• 14:04
  is
• 14:05
  so
• 14:05
  wonderful
• 14:05
  to
• 14:05
  be
• 14:06
  productive
• 14:06
  and
• 14:06
  be
• 14:06
  somebody
• 14:07
  who
• 14:07
  likes
• 14:07
  to
• 14:07
  go
• 14:07
  and
• 14:07
  do
• 14:08
  and,
• 14:08
  and
• 14:08
  perform.
• 14:09
  And
• 14:09
  sometimes
• 14:09
  it
• 14:10
  is.
• 14:10
  So
• 14:11
  hard.
• 14:11
  So
• 14:11
  what
• 14:11
  do
• 14:11
  you
• 14:12
  think
• 14:12
  are
• 14:12
  some
• 14:12
  of
• 14:12
  the
• 14:12
  biggest
• 14:13
  challenges
• 14:13
  for
• 14:13
  high
• 14:13
  achievers?
• 14:14
  Because
• 14:14
  I
• 14:14
  know
• 14:14
  we're
• 14:14
  talking
• 14:14
  to
• 14:14
  a
• 14:14
  lot
• 14:15
  of
• 14:15
  them
• 14:15
  here.
• 14:15
  You're
• 14:15
  trying
• 14:16
  to
• 14:16
  build
• 14:16
  a
• 14:16
  business,
• 14:16
  especially
• 14:17
  as
• 14:17
  a
• 14:17
  mom,
• 14:17
  you're
• 14:18
  probably
• 14:18
  one
• 14:18
  of
• 14:18
  those.
• 14:19
  What
• 14:19
  are
• 14:19
  some
• 14:19
  of
• 14:19
  the
• 14:19
  challenges
• 14:20
  you
• 14:20
  see?
• 14:21
  I
• 14:22
  think
• 14:22
  that
• 14:22
  one
• 14:22
  of
• 14:22
  the
• 14:22
  biggest
• 14:23
  challenges
• 14:24
  people
• 14:24
  would
• 14:25
  say
• 14:25
  that
• 14:25
  it's
• 14:25
  time
• 14:26
  management.
• 14:27
  Like
• 14:27
  they
• 14:27
  don't
• 14:27
  have
• 14:27
  enough
• 14:28
  time.
• 14:29
  But
• 14:29
  that's
• 14:29
  not
• 14:30
  usually
• 14:31
  the
• 14:31
  problem,
• 14:32
  but
• 14:32
  it's
• 14:32
  okay.
• 14:33
  They
• 14:33
  can
• 14:33
  think
• 14:33
  they
• 14:33
  can
• 14:33
  think
• 14:34
  that
• 14:34
  that's
• 14:34
  the
• 14:35
  problem.
• 14:36
  It
• 14:37
  feels
• 14:37
  like
• 14:37
  we
• 14:37
  don't
• 14:38
  have
• 14:38
  enough
• 14:38
  time
• 14:39
  because
• 14:39
  we
• 14:40
  want
• 14:40
  to
• 14:40
  be
• 14:40
  doing
• 14:41
  all
• 14:41
  the
• 14:41
  things
• 14:41
  or
• 14:41
  we
• 14:42
  think
• 14:42
  we're
• 14:42
  supposed
• 14:42
  to
• 14:42
  be
• 14:42
  doing
• 14:43
  all
• 14:43
  the
• 14:43
  things
• 14:43
  that
• 14:43
  we
• 14:43
  need
• 14:43
  to
• 14:44
  do
• 14:44
  them
• 14:44
  at
• 14:44
  a
• 14:44
  high
• 14:44
  level.
• 14:45
  And
• 14:45
  and
• 14:45
  so,
• 14:46
  like,
• 14:46
  work
• 14:46
  has
• 14:46
  to
• 14:46
  be
• 14:47
  at
• 14:47
  a
• 14:47
  certain
• 14:47
  level
• 14:47
  and
• 14:48
  family
• 14:48
  has
• 14:48
  to
• 14:48
  be
• 14:48
  at
• 14:48
  a
• 14:48
  certain
• 14:49
  level
• 14:49
  and
• 14:50
  everything
• 14:50
  that
• 14:50
  we're
• 14:51
  doing
• 14:51
  has
• 14:51
  to
• 14:51
  be
• 14:51
  at
• 14:51
  a
• 14:51
  certain
• 14:52
  level.
• 14:52
  And
• 14:52
  so
• 14:53
  it's
• 14:53
  like,
• 14:54
  there's
• 14:54
  not
• 14:54
  enough
• 14:54
  hours
• 14:54
  in
• 14:54
  the
• 14:55
  day.
• 14:56
  To
• 14:56
  make
• 14:56
  it
• 14:56
  happen,
• 14:56
  and
• 14:57
  there's,
• 14:57
  there's
• 14:57
  no
• 14:57
  way
• 14:58
  that
• 14:58
  I
• 14:58
  can
• 14:58
  be
• 14:58
  successful
• 14:59
  at
• 14:59
  all
• 15:00
  of
• 15:00
  them,
• 15:00
  because
• 15:01
  something
• 15:01
  has
• 15:02
  to
• 15:02
  give.
• 15:03
  Something
• 15:04
  has
• 15:04
  to,
• 15:05
  like,
• 15:06
  lose
• 15:06
  out.
• 15:07
  If
• 15:07
  I'm
• 15:07
  successful
• 15:08
  at
• 15:08
  work,
• 15:08
  which,
• 15:09
  which
• 15:09
  many
• 15:09
  of
• 15:09
  my
• 15:09
  clients
• 15:10
  are
• 15:10
  very
• 15:11
  successful
• 15:11
  at
• 15:11
  work,
• 15:12
  then
• 15:12
  family
• 15:13
  has
• 15:13
  to
• 15:13
  lose
• 15:13
  out.
• 15:14
  They're
• 15:14
  not
• 15:14
  sure
• 15:14
  how
• 15:15
  to
• 15:15
  do
• 15:15
  both.
• 15:16
  And
• 15:16
  I,
• 15:17
  I'm
• 15:17
  kind
• 15:17
  of
• 15:17
  guessing
• 15:18
  that
• 15:18
  with
• 15:18
  your
• 15:18
  clients,
• 15:19
  it's
• 15:19
  almost
• 15:20
  the
• 15:20
  opposite.
• 15:20
  Your
• 15:21
  audience
• 15:21
  is
• 15:21
  like
• 15:22
  so
• 15:23
  successful
• 15:23
  in
• 15:24
  the
• 15:24
  family,
• 15:25
  right.
• 15:25
  And
• 15:26
  with
• 15:26
  kids
• 15:26
  that
• 15:26
  it's
• 15:27
  like,
• 15:27
  well,
• 15:27
  then
• 15:28
  the
• 15:28
  work
• 15:28
  has
• 15:28
  to
• 15:28
  lose
• 15:29
  out
• 15:30
  because
• 15:31
  I'm,
• 15:31
  you
• 15:31
  know,
• 15:32
  So
• 15:32
  good
• 15:33
  at
• 15:33
  the
• 15:33
  family
• 15:33
  part
• 15:34
  and
• 15:35
  then
• 15:35
  taking
• 15:35
  care
• 15:35
  of
• 15:35
  people
• 15:36
  part.
• 15:36
  I'm,
• 15:37
  I'm
• 15:37
  guessing
• 15:37
  that.
• 15:38
  Yeah.
• 15:38
  Yeah.
• 15:39
  Totally.
• 15:39
  And
• 15:40
  so
• 15:40
  it's
• 15:40
  this,
• 15:41
  it's
• 15:41
  this
• 15:41
  idea
• 15:42
  that
• 15:43
  we
• 15:43
  really
• 15:43
  can
• 15:43
  be
• 15:44
  successful
• 15:44
  at
• 15:44
  all
• 15:44
  of
• 15:45
  it,
• 15:45
  but
• 15:45
  it
• 15:45
  doesn't
• 15:45
  require
• 15:46
  more
• 15:47
  time
• 15:47
  on
• 15:47
  the
• 15:47
  calendar
• 15:48
  and
• 15:48
  it
• 15:48
  also
• 15:49
  doesn't
• 15:49
  require.
• 15:50
  Like
• 15:50
  a
• 15:50
  time
• 15:51
  management
• 15:51
  system,
• 15:52
  because
• 15:52
  a
• 15:52
  lot
• 15:52
  of
• 15:52
  people
• 15:52
  think
• 15:53
  that
• 15:53
  the
• 15:53
  time
• 15:53
  management
• 15:54
  system
• 15:54
  is
• 15:54
  going
• 15:54
  to
• 15:54
  be
• 15:55
  the
• 15:55
  thing
• 15:55
  that
• 15:56
  creates
• 15:56
  the
• 15:56
  balance,
• 15:57
  just
• 15:57
  a
• 15:57
  better
• 15:57
  planner,
• 15:58
  a
• 15:58
  better
• 15:58
  calendar.
• 16:00
  Yeah.
• 16:01
  And
• 16:01
  so
• 16:02
  I,
• 16:02
  I
• 16:02
  like
• 16:03
  to
• 16:03
  say
• 16:03
  that
• 16:03
  it
• 16:03
  doesn't
• 16:03
  matter
• 16:04
  what
• 16:04
  your
• 16:04
  time
• 16:04
  management
• 16:05
  system
• 16:05
  is,
• 16:05
  what
• 16:05
  your
• 16:05
  calendar
• 16:06
  system
• 16:06
  is.
• 16:06
  It's
• 16:07
  actually
• 16:07
  really
• 16:07
  effective.
• 16:08
  Whatever
• 16:08
  it
• 16:08
  is
• 16:09
  you've
• 16:09
  got,
• 16:09
  it's,
• 16:10
  it's
• 16:10
  very
• 16:10
  effective.
• 16:11
  What
• 16:11
  we
• 16:12
  work
• 16:12
  on
• 16:12
  is
• 16:13
  how
• 16:13
  we're
• 16:13
  thinking
• 16:13
  about
• 16:14
  our
• 16:14
  time.
• 16:16
  So
• 16:16
  you're
• 16:16
  shifting,
• 16:17
  I'm
• 16:17
  assuming
• 16:18
  from
• 16:18
  some
• 16:19
  sort
• 16:19
  of
• 16:19
  a
• 16:19
  scarcity
• 16:19
  mentality
• 16:20
  into.
• 16:21
  We
• 16:21
  can
• 16:22
  and
• 16:22
  and
• 16:23
  how
• 16:23
  what
• 16:23
  are
• 16:23
  the
• 16:23
  what
• 16:23
  are
• 16:23
  some
• 16:24
  of
• 16:24
  the
• 16:24
  tactical
• 16:24
  tips
• 16:24
  you
• 16:24
  use
• 16:25
  for
• 16:25
  stepping
• 16:25
  into
• 16:25
  that?
• 16:27
  Yes,
• 16:27
  we
• 16:27
  talk
• 16:28
  a
• 16:28
  lot
• 16:28
  about
• 16:28
  aligned
• 16:29
  decision
• 16:29
  making,
• 16:29
  really
• 16:30
  figuring
• 16:30
  out
• 16:30
  what
• 16:30
  you
• 16:31
  want
• 16:31
  to
• 16:31
  have
• 16:31
  happen,
• 16:32
  what
• 16:32
  the
• 16:32
  outcome
• 16:33
  is
• 16:33
  that
• 16:33
  you
• 16:34
  want
• 16:34
  to
• 16:34
  be
• 16:34
  creating,
• 16:35
  whether
• 16:35
  it's
• 16:35
  with
• 16:36
  a
• 16:36
  relationship
• 16:37
  with,
• 16:37
  you
• 16:38
  know,
• 16:38
  your
• 16:38
  business
• 16:38
  goals
• 16:39
  with
• 16:40
  oftentimes,
• 16:40
  I'll
• 16:40
  be
• 16:41
  honest,
• 16:41
  oftentimes
• 16:42
  it's
• 16:42
  a
• 16:42
  relationship.
• 16:44
  You
• 16:44
  know,
• 16:44
  like
• 16:44
  people,
• 16:45
  people
• 16:46
  are
• 16:46
  high
• 16:46
  achieving,
• 16:47
  but
• 16:47
  there's
• 16:48
  some
• 16:48
  relationship
• 16:49
  or
• 16:49
  multiple
• 16:49
  relationships
• 16:50
  that
• 16:50
  aren't
• 16:50
  measuring
• 16:51
  up
• 16:51
  to
• 16:51
  what
• 16:51
  they
• 16:52
  want
• 16:53
  and
• 16:53
  they
• 16:53
  want
• 16:53
  to
• 16:53
  feel
• 16:54
  more
• 16:54
  present.
• 16:54
  They
• 16:54
  want
• 16:55
  to
• 16:55
  feel
• 16:55
  more
• 16:55
  close.
• 16:56
  They
• 16:56
  want
• 16:56
  to
• 16:56
  feel
• 16:57
  more
• 16:57
  connected.
• 16:58
  And
• 16:58
  so
• 16:59
  we
• 16:59
  figure
• 16:59
  out
• 16:59
  what
• 16:59
  do
• 17:00
  they
• 17:00
  really
• 17:00
  want
• 17:00
  to
• 17:00
  have
• 17:00
  happen
• 17:01
  and
• 17:01
  then
• 17:02
  make
• 17:02
  a
• 17:02
  plan
• 17:03
  of
• 17:03
  the
• 17:03
  best
• 17:04
  way
• 17:04
  to
• 17:04
  make
• 17:04
  that
• 17:04
  happen.
• 17:05
  And
• 17:05
  it,
• 17:05
  it
• 17:06
  always
• 17:06
  includes
• 17:06
  being
• 17:06
  more
• 17:07
  present.
• 17:08
  Oh,
• 17:08
  yeah,
• 17:09
  that
• 17:09
  that
• 17:09
  hits
• 17:10
  like
• 17:10
  a
• 17:10
  knife
• 17:10
  to
• 17:11
  the
• 17:11
  heart
• 17:13
  like
• 17:13
  we
• 17:13
  learn
• 17:14
  how
• 17:14
  like,
• 17:14
  what
• 17:14
  does
• 17:14
  that
• 17:14
  actually
• 17:15
  look
• 17:15
  like
• 17:15
  to
• 17:15
  be
• 17:16
  more
• 17:16
  present
• 17:16
  and
• 17:17
  part
• 17:17
  of
• 17:17
  that
• 17:17
  is
• 17:18
  is
• 17:18
  what
• 17:19
  we're
• 17:19
  control
• 17:19
  what
• 17:20
  we
• 17:20
  think
• 17:20
  we're
• 17:20
  controlling
• 17:21
  and
• 17:21
  what
• 17:21
  we
• 17:22
  feel
• 17:22
  like
• 17:22
  we
• 17:22
  have
• 17:22
  to
• 17:22
  be
• 17:23
  controlling.
• 17:24
  And
• 17:25
  loosening
• 17:25
  that
• 17:26
  definition
• 17:27
  of
• 17:28
  what
• 17:28
  we
• 17:28
  really
• 17:29
  have
• 17:29
  to
• 17:29
  control
• 17:30
  in
• 17:30
  order
• 17:31
  to
• 17:31
  create
• 17:31
  the
• 17:31
  life
• 17:32
  that
• 17:32
  we
• 17:32
  want
• 17:33
  and
• 17:33
  the
• 17:33
  value
• 17:34
  of,
• 17:36
  of
• 17:36
  understanding,
• 17:37
  giving,
• 17:37
  giving
• 17:38
  up
• 17:38
  certain
• 17:39
  control
• 17:40
  to
• 17:40
  the
• 17:40
  place
• 17:41
  that,
• 17:41
  that
• 17:41
  it
• 17:41
  already
• 17:41
  is
• 17:42
  anyway,
• 17:42
  but
• 17:42
  we
• 17:42
  just.
• 17:43
  Just
• 17:43
  acknowledging
• 17:44
  it
• 17:44
  assumption
• 17:45
  that
• 17:45
  we
• 17:45
  have
• 17:45
  control
• 17:46
  over
• 17:46
  it.
• 17:47
  And,
• 17:47
  and
• 17:47
  I
• 17:47
  think
• 17:48
  that
• 17:48
  control
• 17:49
  is
• 17:49
  such
• 17:49
  an
• 17:49
  interesting
• 17:50
  thing
• 17:50
  because
• 17:51
  because
• 17:51
  it
• 17:51
  comes
• 17:51
  into
• 17:51
  play
• 17:52
  with,
• 17:53
  with
• 17:53
  this
• 17:53
  idea
• 17:53
  of
• 17:53
  like
• 17:54
  helping
• 17:54
  our
• 17:54
  kids
• 17:55
  or
• 17:55
  helping
• 17:55
  our
• 17:55
  employees
• 17:56
  be
• 17:57
  more
• 17:57
  independent.
• 17:58
  Yeah.
• 17:59
  And
• 18:00
  trusting,
• 18:01
  trusting
• 18:01
  themselves,
• 18:02
  trusting
• 18:02
  we
• 18:03
  trust
• 18:03
  them,
• 18:04
  you
• 18:04
  know,
• 18:04
  to
• 18:04
  be
• 18:05
  able
• 18:05
  to
• 18:05
  handle
• 18:06
  whatever
• 18:06
  the
• 18:06
  thing
• 18:07
  is.
• 18:08
  And
• 18:08
  so
• 18:08
  that
• 18:08
  comes
• 18:09
  into
• 18:09
  play.
• 18:10
  All
• 18:11
  the
• 18:11
  time.
• 18:11
  Oh
• 18:11
  yeah.
• 18:12
  Oh
• 18:12
  yeah.
• 18:12
  You're,
• 18:12
  you're
• 18:12
  speaking
• 18:13
  my
• 18:13
  language
• 18:13
  here
• 18:14
  for
• 18:14
  sure.
• 18:14
  And
• 18:15
  I,
• 18:15
  and
• 18:15
  I
• 18:15
  find
• 18:15
  that
• 18:15
  that's
• 18:15
  one
• 18:16
  way
• 18:16
  that
• 18:16
  motherhood
• 18:17
  has
• 18:17
  just
• 18:17
  stretched
• 18:17
  and
• 18:18
  expanded
• 18:18
  me.
• 18:18
  And
• 18:18
  I
• 18:18
  think
• 18:19
  a
• 18:19
  lot
• 18:19
  of
• 18:19
  our
• 18:19
  listeners
• 18:20
  in
• 18:21
  just
• 18:21
  the
• 18:22
  lack,
• 18:22
  complete
• 18:22
  and
• 18:22
  utter
• 18:23
  lack
• 18:23
  of
• 18:23
  control.
• 18:24
  It's
• 18:24
  like
• 18:24
  if
• 18:24
  I
• 18:24
  had
• 18:24
  had
• 18:25
  one
• 18:25
  or
• 18:25
  two
• 18:25
  kids,
• 18:25
  I
• 18:25
  probably
• 18:26
  would
• 18:26
  just
• 18:26
  have
• 18:26
  been
• 18:28
  a
• 18:28
  dictator
• 18:29
  my
• 18:29
  entire
• 18:29
  life,
• 18:29
  but
• 18:30
  I
• 18:30
  had
• 18:30
  enough
• 18:31
  finally
• 18:31
  taught
• 18:31
  me
• 18:32
  there
• 18:32
  is
• 18:33
  very
• 18:33
  little
• 18:33
  you
• 18:34
  can
• 18:34
  control
• 18:34
  here.
• 18:34
  So
• 18:34
  just
• 18:34
  step
• 18:35
  into
• 18:35
  it.
• 18:36
  Allow
• 18:36
  people
• 18:37
  to
• 18:37
  allow
• 18:37
  people
• 18:37
  to
• 18:37
  try
• 18:38
  to
• 18:38
  help
• 18:38
  you,
• 18:38
  right?
• 18:38
  Allow
• 18:39
  the
• 18:39
  kids
• 18:39
  to
• 18:39
  do
• 18:39
  things,
• 18:39
  allow
• 18:40
  them
• 18:40
  to
• 18:40
  mess
• 18:41
  up,
• 18:41
  to
• 18:41
  get
• 18:41
  messy,
• 18:42
  let
• 18:42
  go
• 18:43
  and
• 18:43
  then
• 18:43
  see
• 18:43
  what
• 18:43
  happens.
• 18:45
  Yeah.
• 18:45
  So
• 18:45
  when
• 18:45
  you,
• 18:45
  I'm
• 18:46
  curious
• 18:46
  when
• 18:46
  you
• 18:47
  went
• 18:47
  through
• 18:47
  that,
• 18:47
  I
• 18:47
  only
• 18:48
  have
• 18:48
  one
• 18:48
  child.
• 18:48
  I
• 18:48
  mean,
• 18:49
  we
• 18:49
  had
• 18:49
  Coleman
• 18:49
  16
• 18:50
  years
• 18:50
  after
• 18:50
  we
• 18:51
  were
• 18:51
  married
• 18:51
  and
• 18:51
  he's
• 18:52
  like
• 18:52
  our
• 18:52
  miracle
• 18:52
  baby
• 18:53
  with
• 18:54
  Joe
• 18:54
  and
• 18:54
  whatever,
• 18:55
  but
• 18:55
  I,
• 18:56
  I,
• 18:56
  I
• 18:56
  never
• 18:57
  planned
• 18:57
  on
• 18:57
  10,
• 18:58
  you
• 18:58
  know,
• 18:58
  I
• 18:58
  never
• 18:59
  planned
• 18:59
  on
• 18:59
  10,
• 19:00
  but.
• 19:01
  But
• 19:01
  I'm
• 19:01
  curious
• 19:02
  as
• 19:02
  a
• 19:03
  mom
• 19:03
  who
• 19:03
  has,
• 19:04
  you
• 19:04
  know,
• 19:04
  so
• 19:05
  many
• 19:05
  kids,
• 19:06
  what
• 19:06
  do
• 19:06
  you
• 19:07
  see
• 19:07
  as
• 19:07
  the
• 19:07
  benefits
• 19:08
  of
• 19:08
  letting
• 19:09
  go
• 19:09
  of
• 19:09
  some
• 19:09
  of
• 19:09
  that
• 19:10
  control?
• 19:11
  Peace,
• 19:12
  happiness,
• 19:12
  like
• 19:13
  being
• 19:13
  able
• 19:13
  to
• 19:14
  even
• 19:14
  like
• 19:14
  fall
• 19:15
  asleep
• 19:15
  at
• 19:15
  night.
• 19:16
  Cause
• 19:16
  there
• 19:16
  were
• 19:16
  times
• 19:17
  when
• 19:17
  I
• 19:17
  just
• 19:17
  thought
• 19:18
  there's
• 19:18
  so
• 19:19
  much
• 19:19
  going
• 19:19
  on
• 19:19
  and
• 19:19
  so
• 19:20
  much
• 19:20
  out
• 19:20
  of
• 19:20
  my
• 19:20
  control
• 19:20
  right
• 19:20
  now.
• 19:21
  I
• 19:21
  think
• 19:21
  I'm
• 19:21
  going
• 19:21
  to
• 19:21
  completely
• 19:21
  lose
• 19:22
  my
• 19:22
  mind.
• 19:22
  Like
• 19:22
  I
• 19:22
  can't
• 19:23
  finish
• 19:23
  the
• 19:23
  laundry
• 19:23
  and
• 19:24
  somebody
• 19:24
  screaming.
• 19:24
  And
• 19:25
  Just
• 19:25
  physically,
• 19:26
  it
• 19:26
  was
• 19:26
  impossible
• 19:27
  for
• 19:27
  me
• 19:27
  to
• 19:27
  have
• 19:27
  my
• 19:27
  hand
• 19:27
  in
• 19:28
  all
• 19:28
  the
• 19:28
  things
• 19:28
  I
• 19:28
  wanted
• 19:28
  to
• 19:28
  have
• 19:28
  my
• 19:29
  hand
• 19:29
  in.
• 19:29
  And
• 19:29
  so
• 19:30
  it
• 19:30
  was
• 19:30
  just
• 19:30
  coaching
• 19:31
  and
• 19:31
  using
• 19:32
  tools
• 19:32
  where
• 19:32
  I
• 19:32
  could
• 19:33
  sit
• 19:33
  on
• 19:33
  the
• 19:33
  couch
• 19:33
  and
• 19:33
  be
• 19:33
  like
• 19:34
  right
• 19:34
  now.
• 19:34
  The,
• 19:35
  the
• 19:35
  time
• 19:35
  is
• 19:36
  to
• 19:36
  be
• 19:36
  present
• 19:36
  right
• 19:36
  now.
• 19:37
  The
• 19:37
  time
• 19:37
  is
• 19:37
  to
• 19:37
  read
• 19:37
  a
• 19:37
  book
• 19:38
  with
• 19:38
  my
• 19:38
  child.
• 19:38
  That
• 19:39
  is
• 19:39
  going
• 19:39
  to
• 19:39
  be
• 19:39
  a
• 19:39
  mess
• 19:39
  and
• 19:39
  that
• 19:40
  is
• 19:40
  going
• 19:40
  to
• 19:40
  be
• 19:40
  a
• 19:40
  mess
• 19:40
  and
• 19:40
  he's
• 19:41
  going
• 19:41
  to
• 19:41
  be
• 19:41
  screaming
• 19:41
  for
• 19:41
  a
• 19:41
  while
• 19:42
  and
• 19:42
  that's
• 19:42
  okay.
• 19:43
  We're
• 19:43
  just
• 19:43
  going
• 19:43
  to
• 19:43
  focus
• 19:43
  on
• 19:44
  one
• 19:44
  thing
• 19:44
  at
• 19:44
  a
• 19:44
  time.
• 19:44
  And
• 19:45
  it,
• 19:45
  I
• 19:45
  mean,
• 19:45
  I'm
• 19:45
  still
• 19:46
  every
• 19:46
  single
• 19:46
  day
• 19:47
  learning
• 19:47
  that,
• 19:47
  but
• 19:48
  it
• 19:48
  was
• 19:49
  unexpected.
• 19:50
  Unexpected
• 19:50
  turn.
• 19:52
  Yeah.
• 19:52
  And
• 19:52
  I
• 19:52
  think,
• 19:52
  I
• 19:53
  think
• 19:53
  what
• 19:53
  happens
• 19:53
  is
• 19:54
  we,
• 19:54
  when
• 19:54
  we
• 19:55
  say
• 19:55
  we're
• 19:55
  giving
• 19:56
  up
• 19:56
  control
• 19:57
  what
• 19:57
  is
• 19:58
  happening
• 19:58
  in
• 19:58
  our
• 19:58
  minds
• 19:59
  when
• 19:59
  we
• 19:59
  really
• 19:59
  are
• 20:00
  doing
• 20:00
  it,
• 20:01
  like
• 20:01
  when
• 20:01
  you
• 20:01
  really
• 20:02
  feel
• 20:02
  present.
• 20:03
  With
• 20:04
  your
• 20:04
  child
• 20:04
  or
• 20:04
  whatever,
• 20:05
  whatever
• 20:05
  task
• 20:05
  it
• 20:06
  could
• 20:06
  be
• 20:06
  work.
• 20:06
  It
• 20:06
  could
• 20:06
  be,
• 20:07
  you
• 20:07
  know,
• 20:07
  whatever
• 20:07
  the
• 20:08
  thing
• 20:08
  is
• 20:08
  when
• 20:08
  you
• 20:09
  feel
• 20:09
  present
• 20:10
  and
• 20:10
  engaged
• 20:11
  in
• 20:11
  that,
• 20:11
  like
• 20:12
  what
• 20:12
  is
• 20:12
  happening
• 20:12
  in
• 20:12
  your
• 20:12
  mind
• 20:13
  and
• 20:13
  your
• 20:13
  body?
• 20:14
  Well,
• 20:14
  I
• 20:14
  could
• 20:14
  definitely
• 20:15
  focus
• 20:15
  better,
• 20:16
  right.
• 20:17
  Instead
• 20:17
  of
• 20:17
  trying
• 20:18
  to
• 20:18
  control
• 20:18
  all
• 20:18
  the
• 20:18
  things
• 20:19
  feel
• 20:20
  more
• 20:20
  fulfilled.
• 20:23
  It
• 20:24
  just
• 20:24
  feels
• 20:24
  a
• 20:24
  lot
• 20:24
  better.
• 20:24
  I
• 20:24
  don't
• 20:25
  know.
• 20:25
  I
• 20:25
  don't
• 20:25
  have
• 20:25
  the
• 20:25
  words
• 20:25
  for
• 20:26
  it.
• 20:26
  Do
• 20:26
  you
• 20:27
  feel
• 20:27
  like
• 20:27
  it's
• 20:27
  more
• 20:28
  calm?
• 20:28
  Do
• 20:29
  you
• 20:29
  feel
• 20:29
  like
• 20:30
  more
• 20:30
  calm,
• 20:30
  more
• 20:31
  connected?
• 20:32
  Yeah,
• 20:32
  I
• 20:32
  think
• 20:32
  so.
• 20:32
  I,
• 20:33
  I
• 20:33
  mean,
• 20:33
  even
• 20:33
  though
• 20:33
  it's
• 20:34
  not
• 20:34
  necessarily
• 20:35
  calm,
• 20:35
  right?
• 20:36
  Things
• 20:36
  could
• 20:36
  still
• 20:36
  be
• 20:37
  happening
• 20:37
  and
• 20:37
  screaming,
• 20:37
  whatever.
• 20:38
  I
• 20:38
  am
• 20:38
  able
• 20:38
  to
• 20:40
  almost,
• 20:41
  I
• 20:41
  don't
• 20:41
  want
• 20:41
  to
• 20:41
  say
• 20:41
  compartmentalize,
• 20:42
  but
• 20:42
  almost
• 20:42
  segment
• 20:43
  things
• 20:43
  like,
• 20:43
  yeah,
• 20:43
  that's
• 20:44
  okay.
• 20:44
  That's
• 20:44
  going
• 20:44
  to
• 20:44
  be
• 20:44
  a
• 20:44
  mess
• 20:45
  right
• 20:45
  now.
• 20:45
  That's
• 20:45
  okay.
• 20:45
  That's
• 20:46
  going
• 20:46
  to
• 20:46
  be
• 20:46
  losing
• 20:46
  control
• 20:47
  right
• 20:47
  now.
• 20:47
  The
• 20:47
  focus
• 20:48
  is
• 20:48
  this
• 20:48
  thing
• 20:48
  right
• 20:48
  here.
• 20:49
  Yeah.
• 20:50
  And
• 20:50
  so
• 20:50
  that's,
• 20:50
  that's
• 20:51
  the
• 20:51
  magic
• 20:51
  right
• 20:52
  there
• 20:52
  because
• 20:53
  you're
• 20:53
  creating
• 20:54
  the,
• 20:54
  the
• 20:54
  calm
• 20:55
  within
• 20:56
  no
• 20:56
  matter
• 20:56
  what's
• 20:56
  happening
• 20:57
  outside
• 20:57
  of
• 20:58
  you,
• 20:58
  you're
• 20:58
  creating
• 20:58
  the
• 20:59
  calm
• 20:59
  within
• 21:00
  and
• 21:01
  allowing
• 21:01
  yourself
• 21:02
  to
• 21:02
  not
• 21:02
  be
• 21:02
  distracted
• 21:03
  by
• 21:04
  like,
• 21:04
  Oh,
• 21:04
  I'm
• 21:04
  thinking
• 21:04
  about
• 21:05
  the
• 21:05
  to
• 21:05
  do
• 21:05
  list.
• 21:05
  I'm
• 21:05
  thinking
• 21:06
  about,
• 21:06
  you
• 21:07
  know,
• 21:07
  I've
• 21:07
  got
• 21:07
  to
• 21:07
  do
• 21:07
  this
• 21:08
  next.
• 21:08
  I've
• 21:08
  got
• 21:08
  to
• 21:08
  do
• 21:08
  that
• 21:08
  next.
• 21:08
  I
• 21:09
  got
• 21:09
  to
• 21:09
  do
• 21:09
  that
• 21:09
  next
• 21:10
  instead
• 21:10
  of,
• 21:10
  you
• 21:10
  know,
• 21:11
  just
• 21:11
  like
• 21:11
  spending
• 21:11
  a
• 21:11
  few
• 21:12
  minutes
• 21:12
  with
• 21:12
  the
• 21:12
  child
• 21:13
  reading
• 21:13
  the
• 21:13
  book
• 21:14
  or,
• 21:14
  or
• 21:14
  listening
• 21:15
  or
• 21:15
  looking
• 21:15
  in
• 21:15
  their
• 21:15
  eyes
• 21:16
  or,
• 21:16
  or
• 21:16
  whatever
• 21:17
  it
• 21:17
  is.
• 21:17
  That's
• 21:17
  what
• 21:18
  being
• 21:18
  present
• 21:18
  is.
• 21:19
  Yeah,
• 21:20
  it
• 21:20
  has
• 21:20
  very
• 21:21
  little
• 21:21
  to
• 21:21
  do
• 21:21
  with
• 21:21
  physical
• 21:22
  presence.
• 21:23
  Right.
• 21:24
  And
• 21:24
  everything
• 21:25
  to
• 21:25
  do
• 21:25
  with
• 21:25
  what
• 21:26
  is
• 21:26
  happening
• 21:26
  inside
• 21:27
  our
• 21:27
  minds
• 21:28
  and
• 21:28
  in
• 21:28
  our
• 21:28
  bodies.
• 21:29
  And
• 21:29
  so
• 21:30
  that's,
• 21:30
  that's
• 21:30
  what
• 21:31
  I
• 21:31
  help
• 21:31
  my
• 21:31
  clients
• 21:32
  understand
• 21:32
  and
• 21:33
  learn
• 21:34
  how
• 21:34
  to
• 21:34
  use.
• 21:35
  And
• 21:35
  so
• 21:35
  then
• 21:35
  what
• 21:36
  happens
• 21:36
  is
• 21:37
  the
• 21:37
  chaos
• 21:37
  is
• 21:37
  around.
• 21:38
  The
• 21:38
  chaos
• 21:39
  doesn't
• 21:39
  usually
• 21:39
  change.
• 21:41
  Right.
• 21:42
  Everything
• 21:43
  that
• 21:43
  changes
• 21:43
  is
• 21:44
  what's,
• 21:44
  what's
• 21:44
  happening
• 21:45
  inside
• 21:45
  of
• 21:45
  us.
• 21:45
  And
• 21:46
  that's
• 21:46
  us
• 21:46
  learning
• 21:47
  how
• 21:47
  to
• 21:47
  manage
• 21:48
  our
• 21:48
  minds
• 21:49
  and
• 21:49
  our
• 21:49
  bodies
• 21:50
  so
• 21:50
  that
• 21:51
  we
• 21:51
  can
• 21:51
  be
• 21:51
  present.
• 21:52
  We
• 21:52
  can
• 21:52
  have
• 21:52
  the
• 21:52
  experience
• 21:54
  that
• 21:54
  we
• 21:54
  want
• 21:54
  to
• 21:54
  be
• 21:54
  having
• 21:55
  in
• 21:55
  life.
• 21:56
  No
• 21:56
  matter
• 21:56
  what
• 21:56
  is
• 21:57
  happening
• 21:57
  around
• 21:57
  us.
• 21:58
  Yeah.
• 21:59
  Right.
• 22:00
  And,
• 22:01
  and
• 22:01
  to
• 22:01
  go
• 22:01
  back
• 22:01
  to
• 22:01
  what
• 22:01
  you
• 22:01
  were
• 22:01
  saying
• 22:02
  before,
• 22:02
  like
• 22:02
  the,
• 22:03
  the
• 22:03
  way
• 22:04
  we
• 22:04
  can
• 22:04
  give
• 22:04
  independence
• 22:05
  to
• 22:05
  those
• 22:05
  around
• 22:06
  us,
• 22:06
  children,
• 22:07
  employees,
• 22:07
  anyone
• 22:08
  that
• 22:08
  we
• 22:08
  manage
• 22:08
  or
• 22:08
  lead,
• 22:10
  what,
• 22:10
  what
• 22:10
  does
• 22:10
  that
• 22:10
  look
• 22:11
  like
• 22:11
  tactically?
• 22:11
  Like,
• 22:12
  okay,
• 22:12
  I've
• 22:12
  got
• 22:12
  a
• 22:12
  kid
• 22:13
  that
• 22:13
  really
• 22:13
  wants
• 22:13
  to
• 22:13
  learn
• 22:14
  how
• 22:14
  to
• 22:14
  do
• 22:14
  something
• 22:14
  and
• 22:14
  I'm
• 22:14
  going
• 22:14
  crazy
• 22:15
  because
• 22:15
  he's
• 22:15
  making
• 22:15
  such
• 22:16
  a
• 22:16
  mess.
• 22:16
  Or
• 22:16
  I
• 22:16
  have
• 22:16
  a
• 22:17
  employee
• 22:17
  I
• 22:17
  have
• 22:17
  to
• 22:17
  train
• 22:18
  and
• 22:18
  they
• 22:18
  just
• 22:18
  can't
• 22:18
  get
• 22:18
  this
• 22:19
  thing
• 22:19
  right.
• 22:20
  How
• 22:21
  do
• 22:21
  I
• 22:21
  manage
• 22:21
  my
• 22:21
  own
• 22:21
  mind
• 22:22
  so
• 22:22
  that
• 22:22
  I'm
• 22:22
  not
• 22:22
  going
• 22:22
  crazy?
• 22:23
  While
• 22:23
  they're
• 22:24
  not
• 22:24
  doing
• 22:24
  things,
• 22:24
  quote
• 22:24
  unquote,
• 22:25
  the
• 22:25
  right
• 22:25
  way,
• 22:26
  right,
• 22:26
  the
• 22:26
  right
• 22:27
  way,
• 22:27
  the
• 22:27
  fast
• 22:28
  way,
• 22:28
  right,
• 22:29
  the
• 22:29
  efficient
• 22:29
  way.
• 22:29
  I
• 22:30
  know
• 22:30
  how
• 22:30
  to
• 22:30
  do
• 22:30
  it.
• 22:31
  Yeah,
• 22:31
  like
• 22:31
  you're
• 22:31
  better
• 22:32
  at
• 22:32
  it.
• 22:32
  Of
• 22:32
  course,
• 22:32
  you're
• 22:32
  better
• 22:33
  at
• 22:33
  it.
• 22:33
  Right.
• 22:34
  No
• 22:34
  one
• 22:34
  can
• 22:34
  do
• 22:35
  it
• 22:35
  as
• 22:35
  well
• 22:35
  as
• 22:35
  you
• 22:35
  can,
• 22:36
  like,
• 22:37
  Sometimes
• 22:38
  we
• 22:38
  feel
• 22:38
  guilty
• 22:39
  because
• 22:39
  it's
• 22:39
  like,
• 22:39
  oh,
• 22:39
  I
• 22:40
  can
• 22:40
  and
• 22:40
  so
• 22:40
  I
• 22:40
  should,
• 22:43
  right?
• 22:43
  And
• 22:43
  so
• 22:44
  we
• 22:44
  kind
• 22:44
  of
• 22:44
  feel
• 22:44
  guilty
• 22:45
  that
• 22:45
  we're
• 22:45
  not
• 22:45
  doing
• 22:46
  it.
• 22:46
  So
• 22:46
  there's
• 22:46
  a
• 22:47
  lot
• 22:47
  of,
• 22:47
  first
• 22:47
  we
• 22:47
  have
• 22:48
  to
• 22:48
  identify
• 22:48
  like,
• 22:49
  okay,
• 22:49
  that's
• 22:50
  getting
• 22:50
  in
• 22:50
  my
• 22:50
  way
• 22:51
  and
• 22:51
  I'm
• 22:51
  gonna
• 22:51
  let
• 22:52
  it
• 22:52
  not
• 22:52
  get
• 22:52
  in
• 22:52
  my
• 22:52
  way
• 22:52
  anymore.
• 22:53
  I'm
• 22:53
  gonna
• 22:53
  allow
• 22:54
  myself
• 22:55
  to
• 22:56
  allow
• 22:56
  them
• 22:56
  to
• 22:56
  be
• 22:56
  independent.
• 22:58
  Do
• 22:58
  you
• 22:58
  see
• 22:58
  what
• 22:58
  I
• 22:58
  mean?
• 22:58
  Like,
• 22:59
  like
• 22:59
  it's
• 22:59
  a
• 22:59
  decision.
• 23:00
  Yeah.
• 23:00
  It's
• 23:00
  a
• 23:00
  decision
• 23:01
  to
• 23:01
  let
• 23:01
  the
• 23:01
  people
• 23:02
  around
• 23:02
  us
• 23:02
  be
• 23:03
  independent
• 23:03
  because
• 23:03
  we
• 23:04
  value
• 23:04
  that.
• 23:04
  Mm-Hmm.
• 23:06
  we
• 23:06
  value
• 23:07
  their
• 23:07
  independence.
• 23:09
  Yeah.
• 23:09
  And
• 23:10
  so
• 23:10
  if
• 23:10
  we
• 23:10
  don't
• 23:11
  value
• 23:11
  another
• 23:11
  person's
• 23:12
  independence,
• 23:13
  then
• 23:13
  it's
• 23:14
  going
• 23:14
  to
• 23:14
  be
• 23:14
  a
• 23:14
  little
• 23:14
  bit
• 23:14
  of
• 23:14
  a
• 23:14
  harder
• 23:15
  road
• 23:15
  to
• 23:16
  make
• 23:16
  it
• 23:16
  happen.
• 23:17
  So
• 23:17
  first,
• 23:18
  let's
• 23:18
  try
• 23:18
  to
• 23:18
  get
• 23:18
  in
• 23:19
  the
• 23:19
  space
• 23:19
  that
• 23:20
  we
• 23:20
  value
• 23:21
  them
• 23:21
  being
• 23:22
  able
• 23:22
  to
• 23:22
  do
• 23:22
  it.
• 23:23
  And
• 23:23
  the
• 23:23
  way
• 23:23
  that
• 23:23
  we
• 23:23
  can
• 23:24
  start
• 23:24
  to
• 23:24
  value
• 23:25
  somebody
• 23:25
  else
• 23:25
  doing
• 23:25
  is
• 23:26
  we
• 23:26
  can
• 23:26
  start
• 23:26
  to
• 23:26
  think,
• 23:26
  okay,
• 23:27
  well,
• 23:27
  what
• 23:27
  are
• 23:27
  the
• 23:28
  good
• 23:28
  things
• 23:28
  about
• 23:29
  them
• 23:29
  being
• 23:29
  independent?
• 23:31
  Like
• 23:31
  I
• 23:32
  know
• 23:32
  it
• 23:32
  takes
• 23:32
  more
• 23:32
  time
• 23:32
  now,
• 23:33
  but
• 23:34
  it'll
• 23:34
  be
• 23:34
  more
• 23:34
  efficient
• 23:35
  later.
• 23:36
  Yeah.
• 23:37
  If,
• 23:37
  if
• 23:37
  they
• 23:38
  learn
• 23:38
  how
• 23:38
  to
• 23:38
  do
• 23:38
  this
• 23:39
  and
• 23:39
  they
• 23:39
  learn
• 23:39
  how
• 23:39
  to
• 23:39
  help
• 23:39
  me
• 23:40
  with
• 23:40
  this
• 23:40
  or
• 23:40
  whatever,
• 23:41
  I
• 23:41
  know
• 23:41
  that
• 23:41
  it,
• 23:42
  that
• 23:42
  it's
• 23:42
  really
• 23:42
  messy
• 23:43
  now,
• 23:43
  but
• 23:44
  he's
• 23:44
  going
• 23:44
  to
• 23:44
  get
• 23:45
  better
• 23:45
  at
• 23:45
  this.
• 23:45
  It
• 23:47
  won't
• 23:47
  make
• 23:47
  such
• 23:47
  a
• 23:47
  mess
• 23:47
  later.
• 23:48
  And
• 23:48
  he'll
• 23:48
  learn
• 23:48
  how
• 23:49
  to,
• 23:49
  how
• 23:49
  to
• 23:50
  learn
• 23:50
  new
• 23:50
  things,
• 23:51
  you
• 23:51
  know,
• 23:51
  in
• 23:51
  the
• 23:51
  future.
• 23:52
  And
• 23:52
  so
• 23:52
  it
• 23:53
  will
• 23:53
  be
• 23:53
  worth
• 23:54
  it.
• 23:54
  And
• 23:54
  I
• 23:54
  value
• 23:55
  the
• 23:55
  end
• 23:56
  result
• 23:57
  more
• 23:58
  than
• 23:59
  my.
• 24:00
  Ability
• 24:01
  to
• 24:01
  get
• 24:01
  the
• 24:01
  job
• 24:02
  done
• 24:02
  right
• 24:02
  now.
• 24:03
  Yeah.
• 24:03
  Well,
• 24:04
  and
• 24:04
  what
• 24:04
  an
• 24:04
  important
• 24:04
  shift,
• 24:05
  right?
• 24:05
  What
• 24:05
  you
• 24:05
  did
• 24:05
  was
• 24:05
  you
• 24:06
  took
• 24:06
  it
• 24:06
  from
• 24:06
  me
• 24:06
  needing
• 24:07
  things
• 24:07
  to
• 24:07
  be
• 24:07
  clean
• 24:08
  and
• 24:08
  efficient
• 24:08
  and
• 24:08
  quick
• 24:09
  to
• 24:10
  valuing
• 24:10
  someone's
• 24:11
  independence
• 24:11
  and
• 24:11
  their
• 24:11
  agency.
• 24:13
  It
• 24:13
  goes
• 24:13
  from
• 24:13
  selfish
• 24:14
  to
• 24:15
  how
• 24:15
  am
• 24:16
  I
• 24:16
  being
• 24:16
  a
• 24:16
  leader,
• 24:16
  right?
• 24:16
  Because
• 24:17
  the
• 24:17
  control
• 24:18
  freak
• 24:18
  is
• 24:18
  the
• 24:18
  one
• 24:18
  that
• 24:18
  does
• 24:19
  all
• 24:19
  the
• 24:19
  things.
• 24:19
  That's
• 24:19
  not
• 24:20
  a
• 24:20
  leader.
• 24:20
  A
• 24:20
  leader
• 24:21
  is
• 24:21
  able
• 24:21
  to
• 24:21
  take
• 24:22
  their
• 24:22
  hands
• 24:22
  off
• 24:22
  the
• 24:22
  wheel
• 24:22
  and
• 24:22
  say,
• 24:23
  here,
• 24:23
  you
• 24:23
  try.
• 24:24
  And
• 24:24
  let
• 24:25
  me.
• 24:25
  Do
• 24:26
  my
• 24:26
  best
• 24:26
  to
• 24:26
  patiently
• 24:26
  watch
• 24:27
  and
• 24:27
  lead
• 24:27
  and
• 24:27
  guide
• 24:28
  while
• 24:28
  you
• 24:29
  do
• 24:29
  things
• 24:29
  clumsily
• 24:30
  and
• 24:30
  wrong,
• 24:30
  you
• 24:30
  know,
• 24:30
  as,
• 24:31
  as
• 24:31
  we
• 24:31
  speak,
• 24:32
  my
• 24:32
  eight
• 24:32
  year
• 24:32
  old
• 24:32
  is
• 24:32
  making
• 24:32
  cupcakes.
• 24:33
  It's
• 24:33
  going
• 24:33
  to
• 24:33
  be
• 24:34
  like
• 24:34
  a
• 24:34
  bomb
• 24:34
  went
• 24:35
  off
• 24:35
  when
• 24:35
  I
• 24:35
  come
• 24:35
  out
• 24:35
  of
• 24:35
  my
• 24:36
  office
• 24:36
  and
• 24:37
  I'm
• 24:37
  like
• 24:37
  breathing
• 24:37
  through
• 24:37
  it.
• 24:37
  It's
• 24:38
  going
• 24:38
  to
• 24:38
  be
• 24:38
  okay.
• 24:39
  But,
• 24:40
  but
• 24:40
  that's,
• 24:40
  that's
• 24:41
  the
• 24:41
  shift.
• 24:41
  I
• 24:42
  see
• 24:42
  it
• 24:42
  as
• 24:42
  it's
• 24:42
  not
• 24:43
  about
• 24:43
  me.
• 24:43
  It's
• 24:43
  about
• 24:44
  leading
• 24:44
  and
• 24:44
  guiding
• 24:45
  another
• 24:45
  human
• 24:45
  being.
• 24:46
  And
• 24:46
  I
• 24:47
  value
• 24:47
  that
• 24:47
  like
• 24:48
  that
• 24:48
  is
• 24:48
  important
• 24:49
  to
• 24:49
  me.
• 24:49
  It
• 24:49
  is
• 24:49
  important
• 24:51
  to
• 24:51
  me
• 24:51
  that
• 24:51
  that
• 24:52
  it's
• 24:52
  important
• 24:52
  to
• 24:52
  me
• 24:53
  that
• 24:53
  your
• 24:53
  eight
• 24:54
  year
• 24:54
  old
• 24:54
  learns
• 24:55
  how
• 24:55
  to
• 24:55
  bake
• 24:55
  something
• 24:56
  in
• 24:56
  the
• 24:56
  kitchen.
• 24:57
  Like,
• 24:57
  it's
• 24:57
  important
• 24:58
  to
• 24:58
  me
• 24:58
  and
• 24:58
  so
• 24:58
  I'm
• 24:58
  sure
• 24:59
  it's
• 24:59
  very
• 24:59
  important
• 25:00
  to
• 25:00
  you
• 25:01
  that
• 25:02
  that
• 25:02
  your
• 25:02
  eight
• 25:02
  year
• 25:03
  old
• 25:03
  learns
• 25:03
  how
• 25:03
  to
• 25:04
  do
• 25:04
  something
• 25:04
  in
• 25:04
  the
• 25:04
  kitchen.
• 25:05
  Right.
• 25:06
  And
• 25:06
  the
• 25:06
  only
• 25:07
  way
• 25:07
  that
• 25:07
  they're
• 25:07
  going
• 25:07
  to
• 25:07
  learn
• 25:07
  how
• 25:07
  to
• 25:07
  do
• 25:08
  that
• 25:08
  is
• 25:08
  by
• 25:09
  learning
• 25:09
  how
• 25:09
  to
• 25:09
  do
• 25:09
  it,
• 25:10
  experiencing
• 25:10
  it.
• 25:10
  And
• 25:11
  so,
• 25:12
  so
• 25:12
  when
• 25:12
  we,
• 25:13
  when
• 25:13
  we
• 25:13
  move
• 25:13
  it
• 25:13
  into
• 25:14
  like,
• 25:14
  no,
• 25:14
  I
• 25:15
  actually
• 25:15
  value
• 25:16
  this.
• 25:16
  This
• 25:16
  is
• 25:16
  important
• 25:17
  to
• 25:17
  me
• 25:18
  to
• 25:18
  create
• 25:19
  for
• 25:19
  my
• 25:19
  child
• 25:20
  or
• 25:20
  for
• 25:20
  my
• 25:20
  employee,
• 25:21
  because
• 25:21
  I
• 25:21
  want
• 25:21
  this
• 25:22
  kind
• 25:22
  of
• 25:22
  a
• 25:22
  business.
• 25:23
  I
• 25:23
  want
• 25:23
  this
• 25:24
  kind
• 25:24
  of
• 25:24
  experience
• 25:25
  at
• 25:25
  work
• 25:25
  where,
• 25:26
  where
• 25:26
  we're
• 25:26
  supportive
• 25:27
  and
• 25:27
  where
• 25:27
  we
• 25:27
  have
• 25:28
  a
• 25:28
  team
• 25:28
  and
• 25:28
  I'm
• 25:28
  not
• 25:29
  doing
• 25:29
  everything,
• 25:29
  but
• 25:30
  other
• 25:30
  people
• 25:30
  can
• 25:31
  shine
• 25:31
  and
• 25:31
  they
• 25:31
  can
• 25:31
  grow
• 25:32
  and
• 25:32
  they
• 25:32
  can
• 25:32
  become
• 25:33
  experts
• 25:34
  at
• 25:34
  something.
• 25:35
  Like,
• 25:35
  once
• 25:36
  we,
• 25:36
  once
• 25:36
  we
• 25:36
  step
• 25:37
  into
• 25:38
  valuing
• 25:38
  that,
• 25:39
  it
• 25:39
  becomes
• 25:39
  a
• 25:39
  lot
• 25:40
  easier
• 25:41
  to
• 25:41
  take
• 25:41
  our
• 25:41
  hands
• 25:42
  off
• 25:42
  that
• 25:42
  wheel
• 25:44
  the
• 25:44
  way
• 25:44
  that
• 25:44
  that
• 25:45
  we're
• 25:45
  thinking
• 25:46
  we
• 25:46
  need
• 25:46
  to.
• 25:47
  And
• 25:47
  so
• 25:47
  I,
• 25:48
  I
• 25:48
  actually
• 25:48
  was
• 25:49
  thinking
• 25:49
  about
• 25:49
  this.
• 25:50
  I
• 25:50
  have
• 25:50
  a
• 25:50
  couple
• 25:50
  of,
• 25:50
  of
• 25:51
  things
• 25:51
  about
• 25:51
  my
• 25:51
  son,
• 25:51
  but
• 25:52
  I
• 25:52
  want
• 25:52
  to
• 25:52
  say
• 25:52
  1st,
• 25:54
  this
• 25:54
  week,
• 25:55
  my
• 25:56
  son
• 25:56
  had
• 25:56
  lacrosse
• 25:57
  trials.
• 25:58
  All
• 25:58
  right,
• 25:58
  for
• 25:58
  the
• 25:58
  high
• 25:58
  school,
• 25:58
  he's
• 25:59
  only
• 25:59
  a
• 25:59
  freshman,
• 25:59
  but.
• 26:00
  Because
• 26:00
  they
• 26:00
  don't
• 26:01
  have
• 26:01
  a
• 26:01
  junior
• 26:01
  high
• 26:01
  program,
• 26:02
  then
• 26:02
  he
• 26:02
  gets
• 26:02
  to
• 26:02
  be
• 26:03
  at
• 26:03
  the
• 26:03
  high
• 26:03
  school.
• 26:04
  So
• 26:04
  the
• 26:05
  coach,
• 26:05
  he
• 26:05
  made
• 26:06
  a
• 26:06
  certain
• 26:06
  team,
• 26:06
  but
• 26:07
  he
• 26:07
  wants
• 26:07
  the
• 26:07
  next
• 26:08
  level
• 26:08
  up.
• 26:09
  So
• 26:09
  he
• 26:09
  started
• 26:09
  talking
• 26:10
  to
• 26:10
  the
• 26:10
  coach,
• 26:10
  like
• 26:11
  texting
• 26:11
  the
• 26:11
  coach
• 26:12
  or
• 26:12
  whatever,
• 26:12
  like,
• 26:12
  what
• 26:12
  can
• 26:13
  I
• 26:13
  do
• 26:13
  to,
• 26:14
  like,
• 26:14
  get
• 26:14
  on
• 26:15
  this
• 26:15
  next
• 26:15
  level
• 26:16
  team?
• 26:16
  And
• 26:17
  I'm
• 26:17
  so
• 26:17
  impressed
• 26:18
  by
• 26:18
  what
• 26:19
  this
• 26:19
  coach
• 26:20
  told
• 26:20
  him,
• 26:21
  because
• 26:21
  he
• 26:21
  said,
• 26:21
  Hey,
• 26:22
  listen,
• 26:22
  I
• 26:23
  want
• 26:23
  you
• 26:23
  to
• 26:23
  be
• 26:24
  an
• 26:24
  X
• 26:24
  Man.
• 26:25
  So
• 26:25
  that
• 26:25
  is
• 26:25
  the
• 26:25
  person
• 26:26
  behind
• 26:27
  the
• 26:27
  net.
• 26:28
  If
• 26:28
  anybody
• 26:28
  knows
• 26:28
  lacrosse,
• 26:29
  that
• 26:29
  is
• 26:30
  the,
• 26:31
  the
• 26:31
  one
• 26:32
  that's
• 26:32
  going
• 26:32
  to
• 26:32
  score,
• 26:33
  but
• 26:33
  he's
• 26:33
  behind
• 26:34
  the
• 26:35
  other
• 26:35
  team's
• 26:35
  net.
• 26:36
  And
• 26:36
  then
• 26:36
  he
• 26:37
  would
• 26:37
  like
• 26:37
  come
• 26:37
  around
• 26:38
  kind
• 26:39
  of
• 26:39
  closely
• 26:40
  to
• 26:40
  the
• 26:40
  net
• 26:40
  and
• 26:40
  has
• 26:41
  like
• 26:41
  a
• 26:41
  couple
• 26:41
  of
• 26:41
  different
• 26:42
  moves
• 26:42
  that
• 26:42
  the
• 26:42
  coach
• 26:43
  wants
• 26:43
  him
• 26:43
  to
• 26:43
  learn
• 26:43
  how
• 26:44
  to
• 26:44
  do
• 26:44
  to
• 26:45
  make
• 26:45
  a
• 26:45
  shot
• 26:46
  a
• 26:46
  specific
• 26:46
  way
• 26:47
  from
• 26:47
  behind
• 26:48
  the
• 26:48
  net.
• 26:49
  And
• 26:49
  the
• 26:50
  coach
• 26:50
  told
• 26:50
  him,
• 26:50
  if
• 26:51
  you
• 26:51
  learn
• 26:51
  how
• 26:51
  to
• 26:51
  do
• 26:52
  these
• 26:52
  things
• 26:52
  and
• 26:52
  you
• 26:52
  show
• 26:52
  me
• 26:52
  that
• 26:53
  you're
• 26:53
  competent
• 26:53
  at
• 26:53
  it,
• 26:54
  then
• 26:54
  you
• 26:54
  can
• 26:55
  make
• 26:55
  this
• 26:55
  team,
• 26:56
  this
• 26:56
  next
• 26:56
  level
• 26:57
  team.
• 26:57
  And
• 26:58
  I
• 26:58
  was
• 26:58
  like,
• 26:58
  wow,
• 26:59
  what
• 26:59
  just
• 27:00
  happened?
• 27:01
  With
• 27:01
  that,
• 27:02
  with
• 27:02
  that
• 27:03
  coach
• 27:03
  and
• 27:03
  that
• 27:04
  direction,
• 27:05
  because
• 27:05
  usually
• 27:05
  someone
• 27:06
  would
• 27:06
  say,
• 27:06
  Hey,
• 27:06
  just
• 27:07
  work
• 27:07
  harder.
• 27:08
  Yeah,
• 27:09
  just
• 27:09
  keep
• 27:09
  trying
• 27:10
  and
• 27:10
  you'll
• 27:10
  get
• 27:11
  there.
• 27:11
  Right.
• 27:12
  But
• 27:12
  then
• 27:12
  he
• 27:12
  has
• 27:12
  no
• 27:13
  idea
• 27:13
  how
• 27:14
  to
• 27:14
  do
• 27:14
  it.
• 27:15
  And
• 27:15
  I'm
• 27:15
  watching
• 27:15
  my,
• 27:16
  my
• 27:16
  child
• 27:17
  get
• 27:18
  this
• 27:18
  kind
• 27:18
  of
• 27:18
  direction.
• 27:19
  From
• 27:20
  his
• 27:20
  coach,
• 27:20
  like
• 27:21
  specific,
• 27:22
  clear
• 27:22
  direction.
• 27:23
  And
• 27:23
  he
• 27:23
  says,
• 27:24
  yeah,
• 27:24
  like,
• 27:24
  like
• 27:25
  Coleman
• 27:25
  says,
• 27:25
  can
• 27:25
  I
• 27:26
  stay
• 27:26
  after
• 27:26
  practice
• 27:27
  and
• 27:27
  work
• 27:27
  with
• 27:27
  you
• 27:27
  so
• 27:27
  you
• 27:27
  can
• 27:28
  show
• 27:28
  me
• 27:28
  what
• 27:28
  to
• 27:28
  do?
• 27:28
  Yes.
• 27:29
  So
• 27:29
  he
• 27:30
  stays
• 27:30
  a
• 27:30
  half
• 27:30
  hour
• 27:30
  after
• 27:31
  then
• 27:31
  the
• 27:31
  coach
• 27:31
  tells
• 27:32
  him,
• 27:32
  Hey,
• 27:32
  why
• 27:32
  don't
• 27:32
  you
• 27:32
  look
• 27:33
  at
• 27:33
  these
• 27:33
  different
• 27:34
  college
• 27:34
  games?
• 27:35
  And
• 27:35
  you'll
• 27:35
  see
• 27:36
  what
• 27:36
  I'm
• 27:37
  talking
• 27:37
  about
• 27:37
  with
• 27:37
  this
• 27:38
  move.
• 27:38
  So
• 27:38
  he's
• 27:38
  sitting
• 27:38
  there,
• 27:39
  you
• 27:39
  know,
• 27:39
  at
• 27:39
  10
• 27:40
  o'clock
• 27:40
  at
• 27:40
  night,
• 27:40
  watching
• 27:41
  the
• 27:41
  final
• 27:42
  game
• 27:43
  from
• 27:43
  last
• 27:43
  year's
• 27:43
  NCAA
• 27:44
  tournament
• 27:45
  saying
• 27:45
  to
• 27:45
  me,
• 27:46
  Oh
• 27:46
  my
• 27:46
  gosh,
• 27:47
  they
• 27:47
  do
• 27:47
  this
• 27:47
  all
• 27:47
  the
• 27:47
  time.
• 27:48
  You
• 27:49
  know,
• 27:49
  he's
• 27:49
  watching
• 27:50
  somebody
• 27:51
  do
• 27:51
  really
• 27:51
  well,
• 27:52
  the
• 27:52
  thing
• 27:52
  that
• 27:52
  he's
• 27:53
  been
• 27:53
  asked
• 27:53
  to
• 27:53
  do.
• 27:54
  And
• 27:54
  I
• 27:55
  I'm
• 27:55
  just
• 27:55
  finding
• 27:56
  it
• 27:56
  so
• 27:56
  fascinating
• 27:57
  when,
• 27:58
  when
• 27:58
  the
• 27:58
  coach
• 27:59
  has
• 27:59
  chosen
• 28:00
  to
• 28:01
  give
• 28:01
  him
• 28:01
  something
• 28:02
  specific
• 28:04
  to
• 28:04
  move
• 28:05
  forward
• 28:05
  with
• 28:07
  how
• 28:07
  quickly
• 28:08
  he's
• 28:08
  moving
• 28:08
  forward.
• 28:09
  And
• 28:09
  I
• 28:09
  know
• 28:09
  without
• 28:10
  a
• 28:10
  doubt
• 28:11
  that,
• 28:11
  that
• 28:11
  my
• 28:12
  15
• 28:12
  year
• 28:12
  old
• 28:12
  is
• 28:13
  going
• 28:13
  to
• 28:13
  become
• 28:13
  an
• 28:13
  expert
• 28:14
  at
• 28:14
  that
• 28:14
  shot.
• 28:15
  Yeah.
• 28:16
  Yeah,
• 28:16
  I
• 28:16
  know.
• 28:17
  And
• 28:18
  so
• 28:18
  I'm,
• 28:18
  I'm
• 28:18
  watching
• 28:19
  this
• 28:20
  opportunity
• 28:21
  for
• 28:22
  him
• 28:22
  to
• 28:22
  become
• 28:23
  independent
• 28:25
  at
• 28:25
  something
• 28:26
  and
• 28:26
  the
• 28:26
  confidence
• 28:27
  that,
• 28:28
  that
• 28:28
  goes,
• 28:28
  like,
• 28:29
  he
• 28:29
  is
• 28:30
  thinking
• 28:30
  he
• 28:30
  is
• 28:30
  like
• 28:31
  number
• 28:31
  one.
• 28:32
  And
• 28:32
  he
• 28:33
  does
• 28:33
  not
• 28:33
  know
• 28:33
  how
• 28:34
  to
• 28:34
  do
• 28:34
  the
• 28:34
  thing
• 28:34
  yet.
• 28:35
  You
• 28:35
  know
• 28:35
  what
• 28:36
  I
• 28:36
  mean?
• 28:36
  He
• 28:37
  sees
• 28:37
  number
• 28:37
  one
• 28:37
  and
• 28:38
  that's,
• 28:38
  what's
• 28:38
  going
• 28:38
  to
• 28:38
  create
• 28:39
  his
• 28:39
  ability
• 28:40
  to
• 28:40
  be
• 28:41
  number
• 28:41
  one
• 28:41
  at
• 28:41
  this.
• 28:42
  And
• 28:43
  so
• 28:45
  I
• 28:45
  think
• 28:45
  it's
• 28:46
  really
• 28:46
  fascinating
• 28:46
  because
• 28:48
  oftentimes
• 28:48
  we,
• 28:49
  we
• 28:49
  think
• 28:49
  that
• 28:49
  when
• 28:49
  we
• 28:50
  do
• 28:50
  it
• 28:50
  for
• 28:51
  them,
• 28:51
  it's
• 28:51
  faster,
• 28:52
  it's
• 28:52
  more
• 28:52
  efficient,
• 28:52
  it's
• 28:52
  whatever,
• 28:53
  but
• 28:53
  like,
• 28:54
  how,
• 28:54
  what
• 28:54
  are
• 28:54
  we
• 28:55
  not
• 28:56
  allowing
• 28:56
  them
• 28:57
  to
• 28:57
  grow
• 28:57
  in
• 28:58
  because
• 28:59
  we
• 28:59
  are
• 28:59
  doing
• 29:00
  it
• 29:00
  for
• 29:00
  them.
• 29:01
  I
• 29:01
  am,
• 29:01
  it's,
• 29:02
  it's
• 29:02
  playing
• 29:02
  out
• 29:03
  before
• 29:03
  my
• 29:03
  very
• 29:03
  eyes.
• 29:04
  Yeah.
• 29:05
  Teenagers
• 29:05
  will
• 29:05
  do
• 29:05
  that
• 29:06
  to
• 29:06
  you.
• 29:07
  And
• 29:07
  it's,
• 29:08
  it's
• 29:08
  fascinating.
• 29:09
  And
• 29:09
  so,
• 29:09
  and
• 29:10
  so
• 29:10
  I'm
• 29:10
  just
• 29:10
  really
• 29:10
  grateful
• 29:11
  for
• 29:11
  a
• 29:11
  coach
• 29:12
  who
• 29:12
  sees
• 29:14
  his
• 29:15
  opportunity
• 29:16
  to
• 29:17
  guide
• 29:17
  a
• 29:17
  kid
• 29:19
  into
• 29:20
  something.
• 29:20
  And
• 29:22
  that's
• 29:23
  all
• 29:23
  that
• 29:23
  we're
• 29:23
  talking
• 29:24
  about
• 29:24
  here.
• 29:25
  We're
• 29:25
  just
• 29:25
  guiding
• 29:26
  an
• 29:26
  employee
• 29:26
  or
• 29:27
  we're
• 29:27
  guiding
• 29:27
  a
• 29:27
  child
• 29:28
  or
• 29:28
  whatever
• 29:29
  into
• 29:30
  something
• 29:31
  greater
• 29:31
  than
• 29:31
  what
• 29:32
  they
• 29:32
  already
• 29:32
  are.
• 29:33
  Yeah.
• 29:34
  And
• 29:35
  it's
• 29:35
  such
• 29:35
  a
• 29:36
  valuable,
• 29:37
  incredible
• 29:37
  experience
• 29:38
  to
• 29:38
  watch,
• 29:39
  but
• 29:40
  while
• 29:40
  we're
• 29:40
  doing
• 29:40
  it,
• 29:41
  it
• 29:41
  might
• 29:41
  feel
• 29:41
  kind
• 29:41
  of
• 29:41
  uncomfortable.
• 29:42
  Yeah,
• 29:44
  because
• 29:44
  I
• 29:45
  had
• 29:45
  this,
• 29:45
  I
• 29:45
  kind
• 29:45
  of
• 29:45
  told
• 29:46
  you
• 29:46
  this
• 29:46
  when
• 29:46
  we
• 29:46
  were
• 29:46
  meeting
• 29:47
  before
• 29:48
  the
• 29:48
  same,
• 29:49
  you
• 29:49
  know,
• 29:49
  Coleman,
• 29:50
  he
• 29:50
  was
• 29:50
  in
• 29:51
  a
• 29:51
  play
• 29:51
  like
• 29:51
  a
• 29:52
  musical
• 29:52
  and
• 29:52
  he
• 29:52
  decided
• 29:53
  he
• 29:53
  wanted
• 29:53
  to
• 29:53
  wear
• 29:53
  his
• 29:54
  contacts
• 29:54
  instead
• 29:55
  of.
• 29:56
  His
• 29:56
  glasses,
• 29:56
  he's
• 29:57
  always
• 29:57
  worn
• 29:57
  his
• 29:57
  glasses,
• 29:58
  hasn't
• 29:58
  been
• 29:58
  wearing
• 29:58
  his
• 29:58
  contacts,
• 29:59
  and
• 29:59
  he
• 30:00
  wants
• 30:00
  to
• 30:00
  wear
• 30:00
  his
• 30:00
  contacts.
• 30:01
  So
• 30:01
  every
• 30:02
  morning
• 30:02
  before
• 30:02
  school,
• 30:03
  I
• 30:04
  was
• 30:04
  having
• 30:04
  to
• 30:04
  put
• 30:04
  the
• 30:04
  contacts
• 30:05
  in
• 30:06
  because
• 30:07
  like,
• 30:07
  we're
• 30:07
  late,
• 30:08
  I'm
• 30:08
  faster
• 30:09
  at
• 30:09
  it,
• 30:10
  I
• 30:10
  can
• 30:11
  make
• 30:11
  it
• 30:11
  happen
• 30:11
  really
• 30:11
  quick.
• 30:12
  You
• 30:12
  know,
• 30:12
  we
• 30:12
  got
• 30:13
  to
• 30:13
  get
• 30:13
  to
• 30:13
  school
• 30:13
  on
• 30:13
  time,
• 30:14
  whatever.
• 30:14
  And
• 30:14
  then
• 30:15
  you
• 30:15
  combine
• 30:15
  that
• 30:15
  with,
• 30:16
  there's
• 30:16
  a
• 30:16
  weird,
• 30:16
  okay,
• 30:17
  it's
• 30:17
  not
• 30:17
  weird.
• 30:17
  I'm
• 30:17
  not
• 30:18
  going
• 30:18
  to
• 30:18
  say
• 30:18
  weird.
• 30:18
  It's
• 30:18
  a
• 30:18
  hairstyle
• 30:19
  at
• 30:19
  the
• 30:19
  junior
• 30:20
  high
• 30:21
  that
• 30:22
  his
• 30:22
  hair
• 30:22
  does
• 30:23
  not
• 30:23
  go
• 30:24
  the
• 30:24
  way
• 30:24
  that
• 30:25
  the
• 30:25
  hairstyle
• 30:26
  is.
• 30:27
  And
• 30:27
  so
• 30:27
  it
• 30:27
  requires
• 30:28
  like
• 30:29
  a
• 30:29
  flat
• 30:29
  iron
• 30:30
  to
• 30:30
  kind
• 30:30
  of
• 30:31
  like,
• 30:31
  Do
• 30:32
  just
• 30:32
  a
• 30:32
  little
• 30:32
  bit
• 30:32
  on
• 30:32
  a
• 30:33
  nice
• 30:33
  mom,
• 30:35
  she
• 30:35
  a
• 30:36
  little
• 30:36
  on
• 30:36
  the
• 30:36
  front.
• 30:36
  And
• 30:37
  so
• 30:37
  I've
• 30:37
  been
• 30:37
  doing
• 30:38
  this
• 30:38
  flat
• 30:38
  iron
• 30:39
  thing,
• 30:39
  you
• 30:39
  know,
• 30:39
  to
• 30:39
  help
• 30:40
  him.
• 30:40
  And
• 30:41
  now
• 30:41
  the
• 30:41
  contacts
• 30:42
  are
• 30:42
  happening.
• 30:42
  So
• 30:42
  both
• 30:43
  things
• 30:43
  were
• 30:43
  happening
• 30:44
  before
• 30:44
  school.
• 30:44
  And
• 30:45
  finally
• 30:45
  I
• 30:46
  realized
• 30:46
  like,
• 30:47
  what,
• 30:48
  what
• 30:48
  am
• 30:48
  I
• 30:48
  doing?
• 30:50
  What
• 30:50
  am
• 30:50
  I
• 30:51
  doing
• 30:51
  with
• 30:52
  this?
• 30:52
  And,
• 30:53
  and
• 30:53
  I
• 30:53
  realized,
• 30:54
  okay,
• 30:54
  I'm
• 30:55
  believing
• 30:55
  that
• 30:55
  he
• 30:56
  can't
• 30:56
  do
• 30:57
  it.
• 30:59
  I'm
• 30:59
  thinking
• 31:00
  that
• 31:00
  I'm
• 31:00
  the
• 31:00
  only
• 31:00
  one
• 31:01
  that
• 31:01
  can
• 31:01
  do
• 31:01
  it
• 31:01
  this
• 31:01
  fast
• 31:02
  as
• 31:02
  well,
• 31:03
  you
• 31:03
  know,
• 31:03
  whatever.
• 31:04
  And
• 31:05
  what
• 31:05
  if
• 31:05
  I
• 31:06
  don't
• 31:06
  think
• 31:06
  that
• 31:06
  anymore?
• 31:08
  What
• 31:08
  if
• 31:08
  I
• 31:08
  don't
• 31:08
  think
• 31:09
  that
• 31:09
  anymore?
• 31:10
  Like
• 31:10
  what
• 31:11
  will
• 31:11
  happen
• 31:11
  if
• 31:11
  I
• 31:12
  help
• 31:12
  him
• 31:12
  be
• 31:12
  independent
• 31:13
  in
• 31:13
  this
• 31:14
  situation?
• 31:15
  So
• 31:15
  I
• 31:15
  told
• 31:15
  him,
• 31:15
  okay,
• 31:16
  this
• 31:16
  is
• 31:16
  the
• 31:16
  last
• 31:16
  time
• 31:17
  I'm
• 31:17
  doing
• 31:17
  the
• 31:17
  hair.
• 31:18
  This
• 31:18
  is
• 31:18
  the
• 31:18
  last
• 31:18
  time
• 31:18
  I'm
• 31:18
  doing
• 31:19
  the
• 31:19
  contacts.
• 31:20
  Just
• 31:20
  so
• 31:20
  you
• 31:20
  know,
• 31:21
  wake
• 31:21
  up
• 31:22
  enough
• 31:22
  time
• 31:23
  to
• 31:23
  make
• 31:23
  it
• 31:23
  happen.
• 31:25
  All
• 31:25
  right.
• 31:25
  So
• 31:26
  next
• 31:26
  morning,
• 31:27
  what
• 31:28
  happens?
• 31:28
  He's
• 31:29
  doing
• 31:29
  his
• 31:29
  contacts.
• 31:30
  It
• 31:30
  takes
• 31:31
  forever.
• 31:31
  He's
• 31:32
  like,
• 31:32
  mom,
• 31:32
  can
• 31:32
  you
• 31:32
  just
• 31:33
  help
• 31:33
  me?
• 31:33
  I'm
• 31:33
  like,
• 31:34
  I
• 31:34
  can't,
• 31:34
  but
• 31:35
  I
• 31:35
  totally
• 31:35
  believe
• 31:36
  that
• 31:36
  you
• 31:36
  can
• 31:36
  do
• 31:36
  it.
• 31:37
  Okay.
• 31:37
  So
• 31:38
  that's
• 31:38
  what
• 31:38
  I
• 31:38
  was
• 31:38
  saying
• 31:39
  out
• 31:39
  of
• 31:39
  my
• 31:39
  mouth.
• 31:41
  Right.
• 31:42
  But
• 31:43
  that
• 31:43
  is
• 31:43
  not
• 31:43
  what
• 31:44
  I
• 31:44
  was
• 31:44
  feeling
• 31:44
  inside
• 31:45
  my
• 31:45
  body,
• 31:46
  what
• 31:48
  I
• 31:48
  was
• 31:48
  feeling
• 31:48
  inside
• 31:48
  my
• 31:49
  body.
• 31:49
  And
• 31:49
  so
• 31:50
  this
• 31:50
  is
• 31:50
  where
• 31:50
  I
• 31:50
  think
• 31:50
  it's
• 31:51
  really
• 31:51
  important
• 31:51
  for
• 31:52
  us
• 31:52
  to
• 31:52
  remember,
• 31:53
  like,
• 31:53
  it's
• 31:53
  not
• 31:54
  just
• 31:54
  necessarily
• 31:55
  like
• 31:55
  this
• 31:55
  easy
• 31:55
  peasy,
• 31:56
  Oh
• 31:56
  yeah,
• 31:56
  you
• 31:57
  just
• 31:57
  go
• 31:57
  do
• 31:57
  it.
• 31:57
  And
• 31:58
  it's
• 31:58
  amazing.
• 31:59
  Go
• 31:59
  be
• 31:59
  independent.
• 32:00
  No,
• 32:00
  like
• 32:01
  it
• 32:01
  required
• 32:02
  management.
• 32:05
  So
• 32:05
  I'm
• 32:05
  sitting
• 32:05
  there,
• 32:06
  I'm
• 32:06
  watching
• 32:06
  him
• 32:06
  and
• 32:07
  I'm
• 32:07
  going
• 32:07
  through
• 32:07
  in
• 32:07
  my
• 32:08
  head,
• 32:08
  like,
• 32:08
  don't
• 32:09
  say
• 32:09
  it.
• 32:09
  Don't
• 32:09
  say
• 32:09
  it.
• 32:10
  Don't
• 32:10
  say
• 32:10
  it.
• 32:10
  Don't
• 32:10
  say
• 32:11
  it.
• 32:11
  Like
• 32:11
  I'm
• 32:11
  telling
• 32:12
  myself,
• 32:12
  like,
• 32:12
  don't
• 32:13
  step
• 32:13
  in.
• 32:13
  Don't
• 32:14
  do
• 32:14
  it.
• 32:14
  He
• 32:14
  can
• 32:14
  do
• 32:14
  this.
• 32:15
  Remember,
• 32:16
  this
• 32:16
  is
• 32:16
  the
• 32:16
  line
• 32:16
  you've
• 32:16
  drawn.
• 32:17
  Like
• 32:17
  I
• 32:17
  am
• 32:17
  convincing
• 32:18
  myself,
• 32:19
  reconvincing
• 32:19
  myself
• 32:20
  why
• 32:20
  I
• 32:21
  want
• 32:21
  him
• 32:21
  to
• 32:21
  learn
• 32:21
  how
• 32:21
  to
• 32:22
  do
• 32:22
  this.
• 32:22
  And
• 32:22
  if
• 32:22
  I
• 32:23
  step
• 32:23
  in,
• 32:23
  then
• 32:25
  I'm
• 32:25
  reinforcing
• 32:25
  the
• 32:26
  opposite
• 32:26
  thing.
• 32:27
  Yes.
• 32:28
  And
• 32:28
  there
• 32:28
  was
• 32:28
  a
• 32:28
  point
• 32:28
  where
• 32:28
  I
• 32:29
  even
• 32:29
  had
• 32:29
  to
• 32:29
  walk
• 32:29
  away.
• 32:31
  Yeah.
• 32:32
  Like,
• 32:32
  okay.
• 32:33
  And
• 32:33
  I
• 32:33
  walk
• 32:33
  into
• 32:34
  the
• 32:34
  bathroom,
• 32:35
  you
• 32:35
  know,
• 32:35
  and
• 32:35
  I'm
• 32:35
  like,
• 32:36
  I
• 32:36
  know
• 32:36
  you
• 32:36
  can
• 32:36
  do
• 32:37
  it.
• 32:37
  And
• 32:37
  I
• 32:38
  walk
• 32:38
  out.
• 32:38
  All
• 32:38
  of
• 32:39
  that
• 32:39
  is
• 32:40
  happening
• 32:40
  within
• 32:41
  me.
• 32:42
  And
• 32:42
  I
• 32:42
  think
• 32:42
  that
• 32:42
  might
• 32:43
  be
• 32:43
  the
• 32:43
  part
• 32:43
  that,
• 32:44
  that
• 32:45
  when
• 32:45
  we're
• 32:45
  trying
• 32:46
  to
• 32:46
  help
• 32:46
  our
• 32:46
  employees
• 32:47
  or
• 32:47
  help
• 32:47
  our
• 32:47
  children
• 32:48
  be
• 32:48
  more
• 32:48
  independent,
• 32:49
  we
• 32:50
  forget
• 32:50
  that
• 32:51
  part
• 32:52
  that
• 32:53
  like
• 32:53
  we
• 32:53
  have
• 32:53
  to
• 32:53
  manage
• 32:54
  ourselves.
• 32:54
  Yeah.
• 32:57
  In
• 32:57
  order
• 32:57
  to
• 32:57
  carry
• 32:58
  it
• 32:58
  out.
• 32:58
  Well,
• 32:58
  guess
• 32:59
  what?
• 32:59
  Just
• 32:59
  so
• 32:59
  you
• 32:59
  know,
• 33:00
  this
• 33:00
  morning
• 33:00
  and
• 33:00
  for
• 33:00
  the
• 33:01
  last
• 33:01
  week,
• 33:01
  he's
• 33:01
  done
• 33:02
  his
• 33:02
  hair
• 33:02
  and
• 33:02
  he's
• 33:02
  done
• 33:02
  his
• 33:02
  contacts,
• 33:05
  right?
• 33:05
  Like
• 33:05
  he
• 33:06
  can
• 33:06
  do
• 33:06
  it.
• 33:07
  He
• 33:07
  can
• 33:07
  do
• 33:07
  it,
• 33:07
  but
• 33:07
  it
• 33:08
  required
• 33:08
  me
• 33:09
  not
• 33:10
  stepping
• 33:10
  in.
• 33:13
  And
• 33:13
  so
• 33:13
  I
• 33:13
  had
• 33:14
  like,
• 33:14
  it
• 33:15
  was
• 33:15
  a
• 33:15
  process.
• 33:16
  So
• 33:16
  if
• 33:17
  any
• 33:17
  of
• 33:17
  you
• 33:17
  out
• 33:18
  there
• 33:18
  listening,
• 33:18
  it's
• 33:19
  like,
• 33:19
  man,
• 33:19
  this
• 33:19
  is
• 33:19
  hard.
• 33:20
  I
• 33:20
  just
• 33:20
  want
• 33:20
  to
• 33:20
  do
• 33:21
  it.
• 33:21
  Or
• 33:21
  I
• 33:21
  just,
• 33:21
  we're
• 33:21
  going
• 33:22
  to
• 33:22
  be
• 33:22
  late
• 33:22
  for
• 33:22
  school
• 33:23
  or
• 33:23
  whatever.
• 33:23
  It's
• 33:24
  like,
• 33:25
  it's
• 33:25
  okay.
• 33:26
  Right.
• 33:27
  This
• 33:28
  is
• 33:28
  important.
• 33:29
  This
• 33:29
  is
• 33:29
  what
• 33:29
  I
• 33:29
  want.
• 33:30
  This
• 33:30
  is
• 33:31
  going
• 33:31
  to
• 33:31
  be
• 33:31
  good
• 33:31
  for
• 33:31
  him.
• 33:33
  And
• 33:33
  you
• 33:33
  know
• 33:33
  what
• 33:33
  I
• 33:33
  see
• 33:34
  happen
• 33:34
  in
• 33:34
  a
• 33:34
  situation
• 33:34
  like
• 33:35
  you're
• 33:35
  describing
• 33:35
  here
• 33:35
  is
• 33:36
  all
• 33:36
  you
• 33:36
  wanted
• 33:37
  to
• 33:37
  do
• 33:37
  was
• 33:37
  to
• 33:38
  step
• 33:38
  in.
• 33:38
  From
• 33:38
  pure
• 33:39
  motives,
• 33:39
  because
• 33:39
  you
• 33:39
  wanted
• 33:40
  to
• 33:40
  be
• 33:40
  this
• 33:40
  helping,
• 33:40
  loving,
• 33:41
  wonderful
• 33:41
  mom.
• 33:42
  And
• 33:42
  also
• 33:42
  because
• 33:43
  you
• 33:43
  wanted
• 33:43
  him
• 33:43
  to
• 33:43
  not
• 33:43
  be
• 33:43
  late
• 33:43
  for
• 33:43
  school,
• 33:44
  but
• 33:44
  you're
• 33:45
  stepping
• 33:45
  in,
• 33:45
  like
• 33:45
  you're
• 33:46
  saying,
• 33:46
  just
• 33:46
  reinforces
• 33:47
  you're
• 33:47
  not
• 33:48
  quite
• 33:48
  ready.
• 33:48
  Son,
• 33:49
  right?
• 33:49
  The
• 33:49
  opposite
• 33:50
  of
• 33:50
  what
• 33:50
  we're
• 33:50
  trying
• 33:50
  to
• 33:50
  do
• 33:50
  with
• 33:51
  our
• 33:51
  teens,
• 33:51
  which
• 33:51
  is
• 33:52
  enable
• 33:52
  and
• 33:52
  empower
• 33:53
  and
• 33:53
  let
• 33:54
  them
• 33:54
  try
• 33:54
  out
• 33:54
  life.
• 33:55
  Even
• 33:55
  if
• 33:55
  it's
• 33:55
  messy
• 33:56
  and
• 33:56
  they
• 33:56
  fall
• 33:57
  and
• 33:57
  they
• 33:57
  stumble
• 33:57
  on
• 33:57
  their
• 33:58
  late
• 33:58
  for
• 33:58
  school,
• 33:59
  because
• 33:59
  you
• 33:59
  have
• 33:59
  faith
• 34:00
  in
• 34:00
  him
• 34:00
  because
• 34:00
  you
• 34:00
  believe
• 34:01
  in
• 34:01
  him,
• 34:01
  right?
• 34:02
  We
• 34:02
  think
• 34:02
  that
• 34:02
  we're
• 34:03
  coming
• 34:03
  in
• 34:03
  to
• 34:03
  save
• 34:03
  and
• 34:03
  rescue
• 34:04
  and
• 34:04
  it's
• 34:04
  this
• 34:04
  wonderful
• 34:04
  thing,
• 34:05
  but
• 34:05
  eventually.
• 34:06
  It
• 34:06
  becomes
• 34:07
  a
• 34:07
  hindrance
• 34:07
  to
• 34:08
  them.
• 34:08
  And
• 34:08
  if
• 34:08
  we
• 34:08
  want
• 34:09
  to
• 34:09
  raise
• 34:09
  independent
• 34:10
  children,
• 34:11
  we
• 34:11
  have
• 34:12
  to
• 34:12
  learn
• 34:12
  to
• 34:12
  let
• 34:12
  go.
• 34:12
  You
• 34:12
  know,
• 34:12
  I
• 34:12
  see
• 34:13
  this
• 34:13
  a
• 34:13
  lot
• 34:13
  in
• 34:14
  when
• 34:14
  I,
• 34:14
  when
• 34:14
  I
• 34:14
  coach
• 34:15
  moms
• 34:16
  whose
• 34:16
  kids
• 34:16
  are
• 34:16
  becoming
• 34:17
  teenagers,
• 34:18
  it's
• 34:18
  a
• 34:18
  really
• 34:19
  tough
• 34:19
  shift
• 34:20
  because
• 34:20
  you
• 34:20
  go
• 34:20
  from
• 34:20
  being
• 34:21
  your
• 34:21
  child's
• 34:21
  everything
• 34:22
  in
• 34:22
  the
• 34:22
  world.
• 34:23
  They
• 34:23
  need
• 34:23
  you
• 34:23
  for
• 34:23
  everything.
• 34:24
  And
• 34:24
  it,
• 34:25
  it's
• 34:25
  a
• 34:25
  very
• 34:25
  empowering
• 34:26
  feeling,
• 34:26
  right?
• 34:27
  You're
• 34:27
  like,
• 34:27
  well,
• 34:28
  I'm,
• 34:29
  I
• 34:29
  run
• 34:29
  everything.
• 34:30
  I
• 34:30
  rule
• 34:30
  everything.
• 34:30
  They
• 34:30
  can't
• 34:31
  survive
• 34:31
  without
• 34:31
  me.
• 34:33
  And
• 34:33
  then
• 34:34
  little
• 34:34
  by
• 34:34
  little,
• 34:35
  they
• 34:35
  need
• 34:35
  you
• 34:35
  less
• 34:35
  and
• 34:35
  less.
• 34:36
  And
• 34:36
  there's
• 34:36
  a
• 34:36
  lot
• 34:37
  of
• 34:37
  work
• 34:37
  to
• 34:37
  be
• 34:37
  done
• 34:37
  for
• 34:37
  mom.
• 34:38
  It
• 34:39
  doesn't
• 34:39
  make
• 34:39
  you
• 34:39
  less
• 34:40
  valuable.
• 34:40
  It
• 34:41
  doesn't
• 34:41
  mean
• 34:41
  that
• 34:42
  your
• 34:42
  life
• 34:42
  is
• 34:42
  over.
• 34:43
  This
• 34:43
  is
• 34:43
  what
• 34:43
  we've
• 34:43
  been
• 34:44
  working
• 34:44
  for
• 34:44
  is
• 34:45
  to
• 34:45
  have
• 34:45
  an
• 34:45
  independent
• 34:45
  child,
• 34:46
  but
• 34:47
  gosh,
• 34:47
  it
• 34:47
  requires
• 34:48
  mind
• 34:48
  management.
• 34:50
  Yeah.
• 34:50
  And
• 34:50
  so
• 34:50
  it's
• 34:50
  like
• 34:51
  a
• 34:51
  different
• 34:51
  work.
• 34:51
  I
• 34:52
  think
• 34:52
  that's
• 34:52
  kind
• 34:52
  of
• 34:52
  fascinating
• 34:53
  and
• 34:53
  maybe
• 34:54
  to
• 34:54
  reframe
• 34:55
  it
• 34:55
  instead
• 34:55
  of
• 34:55
  like,
• 34:56
  oh,
• 34:56
  they
• 34:56
  don't
• 34:56
  need
• 34:56
  me
• 34:57
  anymore.
• 34:57
  Yeah.
• 34:57
  No,
• 34:58
  they
• 34:58
  need
• 34:58
  me
• 34:58
  in
• 34:59
  a
• 34:59
  different
• 34:59
  way.
• 35:00
  They
• 35:00
  need
• 35:00
  me
• 35:00
  to
• 35:00
  be
• 35:01
  a
• 35:01
  mentor.
• 35:02
  They
• 35:02
  don't
• 35:02
  need
• 35:02
  me
• 35:03
  to
• 35:03
  be
• 35:03
  the,
• 35:03
  the
• 35:04
  doer
• 35:05
  of
• 35:05
  all
• 35:05
  the
• 35:06
  things.
• 35:06
  They
• 35:06
  need
• 35:06
  me
• 35:07
  to
• 35:07
  be
• 35:07
  a
• 35:07
  mentor.
• 35:07
  And
• 35:08
  so
• 35:08
  now
• 35:09
  I'm
• 35:09
  going
• 35:09
  to
• 35:09
  figure
• 35:10
  out
• 35:10
  what
• 35:10
  that
• 35:10
  looks
• 35:10
  like.
• 35:11
  I'm
• 35:11
  going
• 35:11
  to
• 35:11
  figure
• 35:12
  out
• 35:13
  how
• 35:13
  to
• 35:13
  do
• 35:13
  that
• 35:14
  because
• 35:14
  I'm
• 35:15
  not
• 35:15
  exactly
• 35:15
  sure.
• 35:16
  How
• 35:17
  and
• 35:17
  so
• 35:17
  that's
• 35:17
  like
• 35:17
  our
• 35:18
  own
• 35:18
  learning
• 35:18
  and
• 35:18
  growth
• 35:19
  that
• 35:19
  can
• 35:19
  happen
• 35:19
  instead
• 35:20
  of
• 35:20
  thinking.
• 35:21
  Oh,
• 35:21
  no,
• 35:21
  they
• 35:22
  don't
• 35:22
  need
• 35:22
  me.
• 35:22
  It's
• 35:22
  like,
• 35:23
  oh,
• 35:23
  yeah,
• 35:23
  they
• 35:23
  totally
• 35:24
  need
• 35:24
  me,
• 35:24
  but
• 35:24
  it's
• 35:24
  just
• 35:25
  in
• 35:25
  a
• 35:25
  different
• 35:25
  role.
• 35:26
  Yeah,
• 35:27
  I'm
• 35:27
  used
• 35:28
  to
• 35:28
  and
• 35:28
  so
• 35:29
  I'm
• 35:29
  going
• 35:29
  to
• 35:29
  figure
• 35:29
  out
• 35:30
  how
• 35:30
  to
• 35:30
  do
• 35:30
  that
• 35:31
  role.
• 35:32
  Yeah,
• 35:32
  that
• 35:33
  is
• 35:33
  a
• 35:33
  really
• 35:33
  great
• 35:33
  way
• 35:33
  to
• 35:33
  put
• 35:34
  it.
• 35:34
  And
• 35:34
  it
• 35:34
  just
• 35:34
  requires
• 35:35
  a
• 35:35
  little
• 35:35
  bit
• 35:35
  of
• 35:35
  a
• 35:35
  shift
• 35:36
  when
• 35:36
  you
• 35:36
  were
• 35:36
  talking
• 35:37
  about
• 35:37
  being
• 35:37
  a
• 35:37
  guide,
• 35:38
  you
• 35:38
  know,
• 35:39
  in,
• 35:39
  in
• 35:39
  business
• 35:39
  leadership
• 35:40
  books,
• 35:40
  we're
• 35:40
  often
• 35:41
  taught
• 35:41
  to
• 35:41
  not
• 35:41
  be
• 35:41
  the
• 35:41
  bottleneck
• 35:42
  in
• 35:42
  our
• 35:42
  business,
• 35:42
  right?
• 35:42
  Don't
• 35:43
  have
• 35:43
  every
• 35:43
  decision
• 35:43
  go
• 35:44
  through
• 35:44
  you
• 35:44
  because
• 35:44
  it
• 35:44
  slows
• 35:45
  everything
• 35:45
  down,
• 35:45
  right?
• 35:45
  You
• 35:46
  have
• 35:46
  to
• 35:46
  delegate
• 35:46
  so
• 35:46
  that
• 35:46
  other
• 35:47
  people
• 35:47
  can
• 35:47
  have
• 35:47
  some
• 35:47
  of
• 35:47
  that
• 35:47
  responsibility.
• 35:48
  And
• 35:49
  I
• 35:49
  see
• 35:49
  us
• 35:49
  doing
• 35:49
  that
• 35:50
  in
• 35:50
  our
• 35:50
  families
• 35:50
  as
• 35:50
  well,
• 35:51
  sometimes
• 35:52
  where
• 35:52
  we're
• 35:53
  not
• 35:53
  the
• 35:53
  gatekeeper,
• 35:54
  we're
• 35:54
  the
• 35:54
  guide,
• 35:55
  right?
• 35:55
  There's
• 35:55
  a
• 35:55
  difference
• 35:55
  between
• 35:56
  everything
• 35:56
  passes
• 35:57
  through
• 35:57
  me.
• 35:57
  I
• 35:57
  have
• 35:57
  to
• 35:57
  approve
• 35:58
  everything.
• 35:58
  I
• 35:58
  have
• 35:58
  to
• 35:58
  decide
• 35:59
  everything
• 36:00
  versus
• 36:00
  Let
• 36:01
  me
• 36:01
  show
• 36:01
  you
• 36:01
  how
• 36:02
  and,
• 36:02
  and
• 36:03
  give
• 36:03
  you
• 36:03
  some
• 36:03
  independence
• 36:04
  to
• 36:04
  do
• 36:04
  it.
• 36:04
  And
• 36:04
  that
• 36:04
  guide
• 36:05
  is,
• 36:05
  is
• 36:05
  a
• 36:06
  really
• 36:06
  fun
• 36:07
  role.
• 36:08
  I'm
• 36:08
  really
• 36:08
  loving
• 36:08
  it
• 36:09
  now,
• 36:09
  but
• 36:10
  at
• 36:10
  first
• 36:10
  it's
• 36:10
  a
• 36:10
  little
• 36:10
  bit
• 36:11
  tricky.
• 36:12
  Yeah,
• 36:13
  I
• 36:13
  can
• 36:13
  see
• 36:14
  that.
• 36:14
  Yeah,
• 36:15
  for
• 36:15
  sure.
• 36:15
  What
• 36:16
  do
• 36:16
  you,
• 36:16
  what
• 36:16
  do
• 36:16
  you
• 36:16
  feel
• 36:16
  like
• 36:17
  are
• 36:17
  the
• 36:18
  barriers
• 36:19
  that
• 36:19
  people,
• 36:19
  they
• 36:20
  can't
• 36:20
  step
• 36:20
  into
• 36:20
  the
• 36:20
  guide
• 36:21
  role
• 36:21
  because
• 36:22
  of
• 36:22
  what,
• 36:22
  what
• 36:22
  do
• 36:22
  you
• 36:23
  think?
• 36:24
  I
• 36:24
  think
• 36:25
  it's
• 36:25
  a
• 36:26
  couple
• 36:26
  of
• 36:27
  things
• 36:27
  we've
• 36:27
  talked
• 36:27
  about
• 36:27
  before
• 36:28
  not
• 36:28
  wanting
• 36:29
  to
• 36:29
  relinquish
• 36:29
  it
• 36:29
  right
• 36:29
  wanting
• 36:30
  to
• 36:30
  be
• 36:31
  to
• 36:31
  keep
• 36:31
  that
• 36:31
  role
• 36:32
  that
• 36:32
  you've
• 36:32
  been
• 36:32
  so
• 36:32
  comfortable
• 36:32
  with
• 36:33
  for
• 36:33
  so
• 36:33
  long.
• 36:34
  Another
• 36:34
  one
• 36:34
  is
• 36:34
  fear
• 36:35
  there's
• 36:35
  a
• 36:35
  lot
• 36:35
  of
• 36:36
  fear
• 36:36
  that
• 36:36
  our
• 36:36
  kids
• 36:36
  are
• 36:37
  our
• 36:38
  assistant
• 36:38
  or
• 36:39
  somebody
• 36:39
  is
• 36:39
  going
• 36:39
  to
• 36:39
  mess
• 36:39
  something
• 36:40
  up
• 36:40
  irreparably,
• 36:41
  especially
• 36:41
  our,
• 36:42
  our
• 36:42
  kids
• 36:42
  Oh
• 36:42
  my
• 36:42
  gosh,
• 36:43
  they're
• 36:43
  going
• 36:43
  to
• 36:43
  go
• 36:43
  out
• 36:43
  and
• 36:44
  destroy
• 36:44
  their
• 36:44
  lives
• 36:44
  because
• 36:45
  I
• 36:45
  wasn't
• 36:45
  watching
• 36:46
  careful
• 36:46
  enough,
• 36:47
  right?
• 36:47
  You
• 36:48
  know,
• 36:48
  because
• 36:48
  in
• 36:48
  the
• 36:48
  early
• 36:49
  years,
• 36:49
  it
• 36:49
  is
• 36:49
  our
• 36:49
  responsibility
• 36:50
  to
• 36:50
  make
• 36:50
  sure
• 36:50
  our
• 36:50
  two
• 36:50
  and
• 36:51
  three
• 36:51
  and
• 36:51
  four
• 36:51
  year
• 36:51
  olds
• 36:51
  are
• 36:52
  safe
• 36:52
  and
• 36:52
  not
• 36:52
  making
• 36:52
  decisions
• 36:53
  that
• 36:53
  will
• 36:53
  ruin
• 36:53
  their
• 36:53
  life.
• 36:54
  But
• 36:55
  15,
• 36:56
  16,
• 36:56
  17
• 36:56
  year
• 36:56
  old
• 36:57
  way
• 36:57
  less.
• 36:57
  So
• 36:58
  right
• 36:58
  now
• 36:58
  they're
• 36:58
  getting
• 36:58
  in
• 36:58
  a
• 36:58
  car
• 36:59
  and
• 36:59
  they're
• 36:59
  driving
• 36:59
  away
• 36:59
  from
• 37:00
  us
• 37:00
  and
• 37:00
  they're
• 37:00
  making
• 37:01
  decisions
• 37:01
  that
• 37:01
  really
• 37:02
  can
• 37:02
  impact
• 37:02
  them
• 37:02
  forever.
• 37:04
  That's
• 37:04
  terrifying.
• 37:05
  I
• 37:05
  see
• 37:05
  a
• 37:05
  lot
• 37:05
  of
• 37:06
  fear
• 37:06
  come
• 37:06
  up
• 37:06
  around
• 37:06
  that.
• 37:08
  Okay,
• 37:09
  so
• 37:11
  what
• 37:11
  would
• 37:11
  be
• 37:11
  the
• 37:11
  way
• 37:11
  to,
• 37:12
  to
• 37:13
  combat
• 37:13
  that
• 37:13
  fear?
• 37:14
  Because
• 37:14
  in
• 37:15
  my
• 37:15
  mind,
• 37:16
  the
• 37:16
  way
• 37:16
  that
• 37:16
  I
• 37:16
  do
• 37:17
  it
• 37:17
  is
• 37:20
  again,
• 37:20
  I
• 37:20
  look
• 37:21
  at
• 37:21
  the
• 37:21
  value
• 37:22
  of
• 37:23
  not
• 37:23
  being
• 37:23
  fearful
• 37:24
  of
• 37:24
  it
• 37:24
  of
• 37:25
  them
• 37:25
  doing
• 37:25
  the
• 37:25
  thing.
• 37:26
  So,
• 37:27
  you
• 37:27
  know,
• 37:27
  Coleman
• 37:28
  is
• 37:28
  learning
• 37:28
  how
• 37:28
  to
• 37:28
  drive
• 37:29
  right
• 37:29
  now.
• 37:29
  He's
• 37:29
  got
• 37:29
  his
• 37:29
  learners
• 37:30
  permits.
• 37:30
  I'm
• 37:30
  sitting
• 37:31
  in
• 37:31
  the
• 37:31
  passenger
• 37:31
  seat,
• 37:32
  whatever.
• 37:32
  And.
• 37:34
  In
• 37:34
  my
• 37:34
  head,
• 37:35
  I
• 37:35
  know
• 37:36
  that
• 37:37
  it's
• 37:37
  really
• 37:37
  important
• 37:38
  for
• 37:38
  him
• 37:38
  to
• 37:38
  be
• 37:38
  able
• 37:38
  to
• 37:38
  learn
• 37:39
  how
• 37:39
  to
• 37:39
  drive
• 37:41
  and
• 37:41
  it's
• 37:41
  going
• 37:41
  to
• 37:41
  be
• 37:41
  really
• 37:41
  important
• 37:42
  for
• 37:42
  him
• 37:42
  to
• 37:43
  go
• 37:43
  off
• 37:44
  and
• 37:44
  drive
• 37:44
  himself
• 37:45
  different
• 37:45
  places
• 37:46
  and
• 37:47
  so,
• 37:48
  all
• 37:48
  right,
• 37:48
  let's
• 37:48
  do
• 37:48
  this
• 37:49
  and
• 37:49
  I'm
• 37:49
  going
• 37:49
  to
• 37:49
  manage
• 37:50
  my
• 37:50
  own
• 37:51
  fear
• 37:52
  that
• 37:52
  something
• 37:53
  will
• 37:53
  happen
• 37:54
  to
• 37:54
  him.
• 37:55
  You
• 37:56
  know,
• 37:57
  and
• 37:57
  and
• 37:57
  say,
• 37:58
  yeah,
• 37:58
  you're
• 37:58
  right.
• 37:59
  Something
• 37:59
  could
• 38:00
  happen.
• 38:02
  Something
• 38:02
  could
• 38:03
  happen
• 38:03
  to
• 38:03
  him
• 38:03
  because
• 38:04
  like,
• 38:04
  we're,
• 38:04
  we
• 38:05
  live
• 38:05
  in
• 38:05
  a
• 38:05
  world
• 38:05
  where
• 38:06
  things
• 38:06
  happen,
• 38:07
  right?
• 38:08
  And
• 38:08
  it's
• 38:09
  also
• 38:09
  going
• 38:09
  to
• 38:09
  be
• 38:09
  okay.
• 38:10
  He
• 38:11
  also
• 38:11
  is
• 38:11
  learning
• 38:11
  how
• 38:11
  to
• 38:12
  work
• 38:12
  through
• 38:12
  things.
• 38:13
  He,
• 38:13
  he
• 38:14
  also
• 38:14
  is
• 38:14
  learning
• 38:14
  how
• 38:15
  to
• 38:15
  problem
• 38:15
  solve.
• 38:16
  And
• 38:17
  so
• 38:17
  whatever
• 38:17
  happens,
• 38:18
  we
• 38:18
  can
• 38:18
  do
• 38:19
  this.
• 38:19
  He
• 38:19
  can
• 38:19
  do
• 38:20
  this.
• 38:20
  I
• 38:22
  have
• 38:22
  to
• 38:22
  protect
• 38:23
  him
• 38:23
  from
• 38:23
  anything
• 38:24
  bad
• 38:24
  happening.
• 38:26
  Right.
• 38:27
  Yeah.
• 38:28
  like,
• 38:28
  like
• 38:28
  we
• 38:28
  want
• 38:29
  them
• 38:29
  to
• 38:29
  be
• 38:29
  problem
• 38:30
  solvers.
• 38:30
  And
• 38:30
  so
• 38:30
  there
• 38:31
  has
• 38:31
  to
• 38:31
  be
• 38:31
  some
• 38:31
  trust
• 38:32
  that
• 38:33
  like,
• 38:33
  yes,
• 38:34
  we
• 38:34
  can
• 38:34
  handle,
• 38:35
  he
• 38:35
  can
• 38:35
  handle,
• 38:35
  she
• 38:35
  can
• 38:36
  handle,
• 38:37
  right.
• 38:38
  If
• 38:38
  something
• 38:39
  goes
• 38:39
  wrong.
• 38:40
  Yeah.
• 38:41
  The
• 38:41
  analogy
• 38:41
  I
• 38:41
  love
• 38:42
  to
• 38:42
  use
• 38:42
  is
• 38:42
  you
• 38:43
  know,
• 38:43
  when
• 38:43
  your
• 38:43
  baby
• 38:43
  is
• 38:44
  learning
• 38:44
  to
• 38:44
  walk,
• 38:44
  none
• 38:44
  of
• 38:44
  us
• 38:45
  would
• 38:45
  ever
• 38:45
  consider.
• 38:46
  Holding
• 38:46
  that
• 38:46
  baby
• 38:47
  for
• 38:47
  the
• 38:47
  rest
• 38:47
  of
• 38:47
  their
• 38:47
  life,
• 38:48
  right?
• 38:48
  We
• 38:48
  let
• 38:48
  them
• 38:48
  stumble.
• 38:49
  We
• 38:49
  let
• 38:49
  them
• 38:49
  get
• 38:50
  the
• 38:50
  bruise.
• 38:50
  That's
• 38:50
  always
• 38:50
  on
• 38:51
  their
• 38:51
  face
• 38:51
  for
• 38:51
  a
• 38:51
  year,
• 38:52
  right?
• 38:52
  Because
• 38:52
  they're
• 38:52
  always
• 38:52
  tripping
• 38:53
  and
• 38:53
  falling.
• 38:54
  And
• 38:54
  yet
• 38:54
  with
• 38:54
  some
• 38:54
  of
• 38:54
  those
• 38:54
  bigger
• 38:54
  decisions,
• 38:56
  weighing
• 38:56
  that
• 38:56
  balance
• 38:57
  between
• 38:57
  the
• 38:57
  fear
• 38:58
  and
• 38:58
  the,
• 38:58
  and
• 38:58
  the
• 38:59
  value
• 38:59
  that
• 38:59
  we
• 38:59
  have
• 38:59
  of
• 39:00
  them
• 39:00
  being
• 39:00
  independent
• 39:00
  is
• 39:01
  harder.
• 39:02
  For
• 39:02
  some
• 39:02
  of
• 39:02
  us,
• 39:03
  certain
• 39:03
  ones
• 39:04
  are
• 39:04
  harder
• 39:04
  than
• 39:04
  others,
• 39:04
  right?
• 39:05
  The
• 39:05
  walking
• 39:05
  thing
• 39:06
  is
• 39:06
  like,
• 39:06
  I
• 39:06
  think
• 39:06
  sometimes
• 39:06
  a
• 39:07
  silly
• 39:07
  example
• 39:07
  because
• 39:07
  none
• 39:07
  of
• 39:08
  us
• 39:08
  would
• 39:08
  ever
• 39:08
  do
• 39:08
  that
• 39:08
  and
• 39:09
  yet
• 39:09
  we
• 39:09
  do
• 39:09
  it
• 39:09
  later
• 39:10
  on
• 39:10
  in
• 39:10
  life
• 39:11
  with
• 39:11
  driving
• 39:11
  or
• 39:11
  maybe
• 39:12
  with
• 39:12
  dating
• 39:12
  or
• 39:12
  maybe
• 39:13
  with
• 39:13
  hairstyle
• 39:14
  or
• 39:14
  whatever
• 39:14
  it
• 39:14
  is
• 39:15
  that
• 39:15
  it's
• 39:15
  so
• 39:15
  hard
• 39:16
  for
• 39:16
  us
• 39:16
  to
• 39:16
  let
• 39:16
  go
• 39:16
  of,
• 39:17
  but
• 39:17
  I
• 39:17
  love
• 39:17
  that
• 39:17
  you
• 39:18
  just
• 39:18
  keep
• 39:18
  coming
• 39:18
  back
• 39:18
  to
• 39:19
  my
• 39:19
  value
• 39:19
  set
• 39:20
  is
• 39:20
  such
• 39:21
  that.
• 39:22
  He's
• 39:22
  going
• 39:23
  to
• 39:23
  be
• 39:23
  an
• 39:23
  independent
• 39:24
  adult.
• 39:24
  He's
• 39:25
  going
• 39:25
  to
• 39:25
  learn
• 39:25
  this
• 39:25
  thing.
• 39:25
  He's
• 39:26
  going
• 39:26
  to
• 39:26
  have
• 39:26
  the
• 39:26
  blessings
• 39:27
  and
• 39:27
  the
• 39:27
  opportunities
• 39:28
  and
• 39:28
  the
• 39:28
  freedoms
• 39:29
  that
• 39:29
  I
• 39:29
  have
• 39:29
  enjoyed
• 39:30
  for
• 39:30
  so
• 39:30
  many
• 39:30
  years
• 39:30
  and
• 39:31
  have
• 39:31
  given
• 39:31
  me
• 39:31
  the
• 39:31
  rich
• 39:31
  life
• 39:32
  I
• 39:32
  have.
• 39:33
  And
• 39:33
  in
• 39:33
  order
• 39:33
  to
• 39:33
  do
• 39:33
  that,
• 39:34
  it
• 39:34
  has
• 39:35
  to
• 39:35
  look
• 39:35
  like
• 39:35
  this.
• 39:36
  Yeah,
• 39:36
  and
• 39:36
  something
• 39:37
  else
• 39:37
  is
• 39:37
  coming
• 39:38
  up
• 39:38
  for
• 39:38
  me
• 39:38
  too.
• 39:39
  One
• 39:39
  of
• 39:39
  the
• 39:39
  things
• 39:40
  that
• 39:41
  I
• 39:41
  do
• 39:41
  a
• 39:41
  lot
• 39:42
  of
• 39:42
  like
• 39:43
  affirmations
• 39:44
  and,
• 39:44
  and
• 39:44
  speaking
• 39:45
  exactly
• 39:45
  what
• 39:46
  I
• 39:46
  want.
• 39:46
  Like,
• 39:46
  I'm
• 39:46
  very
• 39:47
  careful
• 39:48
  about
• 39:48
  what
• 39:48
  I
• 39:49
  speak
• 39:49
  out
• 39:49
  loud
• 39:50
  and,
• 39:50
  and
• 39:50
  what
• 39:50
  I
• 39:51
  think
• 39:51
  about
• 39:51
  and,
• 39:52
  and
• 39:53
  one
• 39:53
  of
• 39:53
  the
• 39:53
  things
• 39:53
  that.
• 39:54
  That
• 39:55
  I
• 39:55
  come
• 39:55
  back
• 39:55
  to,
• 39:55
  that's
• 39:56
  like
• 39:56
  a
• 39:56
  daily
• 39:56
  reminder
• 39:57
  on
• 39:57
  my
• 39:57
  phone
• 39:57
  that
• 39:57
  pops
• 39:58
  up
• 39:58
  every
• 39:58
  single
• 39:59
  day
• 39:59
  is
• 40:00
  I'm
• 40:00
  not
• 40:00
  doing
• 40:00
  this
• 40:01
  afraid.
• 40:02
  Hmm.
• 40:03
  I'm
• 40:03
  not
• 40:03
  doing
• 40:04
  this
• 40:04
  afraid.
• 40:05
  And
• 40:05
  so
• 40:05
  I
• 40:05
  have,
• 40:06
  I
• 40:06
  have
• 40:06
  learned
• 40:07
  that.
• 40:07
  Fear
• 40:08
  is
• 40:08
  actually
• 40:09
  rather
• 40:09
  than
• 40:10
  like
• 40:10
  succumbing
• 40:11
  to
• 40:11
  fear
• 40:11
  or
• 40:11
  just
• 40:12
  being
• 40:12
  like
• 40:13
  the
• 40:13
  victim
• 40:13
  of
• 40:13
  fear,
• 40:14
  feeling
• 40:15
  afraid
• 40:15
  of
• 40:15
  something.
• 40:16
  It's,
• 40:17
  it's
• 40:17
  just
• 40:17
  a
• 40:17
  cue
• 40:18
  in
• 40:19
  my
• 40:19
  body.
• 40:20
  Like,
• 40:20
  Oh,
• 40:21
  I
• 40:21
  feel
• 40:22
  afraid
• 40:23
  what's
• 40:23
  happening.
• 40:24
  What's
• 40:24
  happening.
• 40:25
  And
• 40:25
  I,
• 40:26
  I
• 40:26
  do
• 40:26
  not
• 40:26
  want
• 40:26
  to
• 40:26
  take
• 40:27
  action
• 40:27
  from
• 40:28
  fear.
• 40:30
  That's
• 40:30
  what
• 40:30
  I've
• 40:30
  learned
• 40:31
  about
• 40:31
  myself.
• 40:31
  I
• 40:31
  don't
• 40:32
  want
• 40:32
  to
• 40:32
  take
• 40:32
  action
• 40:33
  from
• 40:33
  fear.
• 40:34
  And
• 40:34
  so
• 40:34
  if
• 40:34
  I'm
• 40:35
  feeling
• 40:35
  afraid,
• 40:36
  then
• 40:36
  it's
• 40:36
  like,
• 40:37
  okay.
• 40:38
  I
• 40:38
  don't
• 40:38
  want
• 40:38
  to
• 40:38
  say
• 40:38
  no,
• 40:39
  because
• 40:39
  I'm
• 40:39
  afraid
• 40:40
  I
• 40:40
  don't
• 40:40
  want
• 40:40
  to
• 40:40
  necessarily
• 40:41
  say,
• 40:41
  yeah,
• 40:41
  like,
• 40:41
  whatever
• 40:42
  the
• 40:42
  situation
• 40:43
  is,
• 40:43
  I
• 40:44
  don't
• 40:44
  want
• 40:44
  to
• 40:44
  do
• 40:44
  it
• 40:44
  because
• 40:45
  I'm
• 40:45
  afraid.
• 40:45
  And
• 40:46
  I
• 40:47
  feel
• 40:47
  like
• 40:47
  our
• 40:47
  emotions
• 40:48
  can
• 40:48
  be
• 40:49
  queues
• 40:49
  for
• 40:49
  us,
• 40:50
  like
• 40:50
  little
• 40:50
  red
• 40:50
  flags
• 40:51
  that
• 40:51
  we
• 40:52
  can
• 40:52
  tune
• 40:52
  in
• 40:53
  and
• 40:53
  say,
• 40:53
  oh
• 40:53
  gosh,
• 40:55
  I
• 40:55
  don't
• 40:55
  usually
• 40:56
  make
• 40:56
  the
• 40:56
  best
• 40:56
  decisions
• 40:58
  when
• 40:58
  I'm
• 40:58
  feeling
• 40:59
  this
• 40:59
  certain
• 40:59
  way.
• 41:00
  And
• 41:00
  so
• 41:00
  when
• 41:01
  I
• 41:01
  feel
• 41:01
  that
• 41:01
  way,
• 41:01
  I'm
• 41:02
  going
• 41:02
  to
• 41:02
  like,
• 41:02
  pause,
• 41:03
  wait
• 41:04
  to
• 41:04
  make
• 41:04
  the
• 41:04
  decision,
• 41:05
  recognize
• 41:06
  That
• 41:07
  maybe
• 41:07
  I
• 41:07
  don't
• 41:07
  want
• 41:07
  to
• 41:08
  make
• 41:08
  it
• 41:08
  right
• 41:08
  this
• 41:09
  2nd
• 41:10
  and
• 41:10
  I'll
• 41:10
  come
• 41:10
  back
• 41:10
  to
• 41:10
  it
• 41:11
  when
• 41:11
  I'm
• 41:11
  not
• 41:12
  feeling
• 41:13
  this
• 41:13
  thing.
• 41:13
  I'm
• 41:13
  going
• 41:13
  to
• 41:13
  get
• 41:14
  myself
• 41:14
  in
• 41:14
  a
• 41:14
  place
• 41:14
  where
• 41:15
  I'm
• 41:15
  not
• 41:15
  feeling
• 41:15
  this
• 41:16
  thing.
• 41:17
  And
• 41:17
  so
• 41:17
  for
• 41:18
  me,
• 41:18
  that's
• 41:18
  that's
• 41:18
  been
• 41:19
  really
• 41:19
  useful
• 41:19
  to
• 41:20
  just
• 41:20
  recognize
• 41:21
  that
• 41:21
  I
• 41:21
  don't
• 41:22
  have
• 41:22
  to
• 41:22
  act
• 41:22
  from
• 41:23
  fear.
• 41:24
  Yes,
• 41:25
  yes.
• 41:25
  Oh,
• 41:25
  we
• 41:25
  could
• 41:25
  talk
• 41:26
  all
• 41:26
  day
• 41:26
  about
• 41:26
  that
• 41:26
  too.
• 41:26
  We've
• 41:27
  had
• 41:27
  a,
• 41:28
  a
• 41:28
  podcast
• 41:28
  episode
• 41:29
  all
• 41:29
  about
• 41:29
  internal
• 41:29
  family
• 41:30
  systems
• 41:30
  that
• 41:30
  parts
• 41:30
  work,
• 41:31
  right.
• 41:31
  And
• 41:31
  like
• 41:31
  the,
• 41:31
  the
• 41:32
  fears
• 41:32
  yelling
• 41:32
  over
• 41:32
  here
• 41:33
  and
• 41:33
  that
• 41:33
  we
• 41:33
  can
• 41:33
  still
• 41:34
  stay
• 41:35
  in
• 41:35
  the
• 41:35
  driver's
• 41:35
  seat
• 41:35
  and
• 41:36
  acknowledge
• 41:36
  it.
• 41:36
  And
• 41:37
  like,
• 41:37
  I
• 41:37
  love
• 41:37
  what
• 41:37
  you're
• 41:37
  saying.
• 41:38
  Use
• 41:38
  it
• 41:38
  as
• 41:38
  a
• 41:38
  cue
• 41:39
  that,
• 41:39
  huh,
• 41:39
  something's
• 41:39
  going
• 41:40
  on
• 41:40
  for
• 41:40
  me
• 41:40
  here.
• 41:41
  What
• 41:41
  is
• 41:41
  this
• 41:41
  fear
• 41:42
  about?
• 41:42
  What
• 41:42
  am
• 41:42
  I
• 41:42
  afraid
• 41:43
  is
• 41:43
  going
• 41:43
  to
• 41:43
  happen?
• 41:43
  What,
• 41:44
  where
• 41:44
  is
• 41:44
  that
• 41:44
  playing
• 41:45
  in
• 41:45
  and
• 41:45
  then
• 41:46
  continue
• 41:47
  on
• 41:47
  anyway?
• 41:48
  I
• 41:48
  love
• 41:48
  that.
• 41:49
  So
• 41:49
  great.
• 41:50
  Oh
• 41:50
  my
• 41:50
  gosh.
• 41:50
  Colette,
• 41:50
  I
• 41:50
  could
• 41:50
  talk
• 41:50
  to
• 41:51
  you
• 41:51
  all
• 41:51
  day
• 41:51
  long,
• 41:51
  such
• 41:52
  good
• 41:52
  discussion,
• 41:52
  but
• 41:53
  we
• 41:53
  are
• 41:53
  totally
• 41:53
  out
• 41:53
  of
• 41:53
  time.
• 41:54
  So
• 41:54
  I
• 41:54
  want
• 41:54
  you
• 41:55
  to
• 41:55
  please
• 41:55
  tell
• 41:55
  our
• 41:56
  listeners
• 41:56
  where
• 41:56
  they
• 41:56
  can
• 41:56
  find
• 41:57
  you,
• 41:57
  learn
• 41:57
  more
• 41:57
  about
• 41:57
  you
• 41:58
  glean
• 41:58
  all
• 41:58
  your
• 41:58
  wisdom
• 41:59
  and
• 41:59
  maybe
• 41:59
  work
• 41:59
  with
• 42:00
  you
• 42:00
  if
• 42:00
  they're
• 42:00
  interested.
• 42:01
  Sure.
• 42:01
  So
• 42:02
  my
• 42:02
  husband
• 42:02
  and
• 42:02
  I,
• 42:03
  we
• 42:03
  have
• 42:03
  a
• 42:03
  book
• 42:04
  it's
• 42:04
  on
• 42:04
  Amazon.
• 42:05
  It's
• 42:05
  called
• 42:06
  messy
• 42:06
  victories.
• 42:07
  He
• 42:07
  was
• 42:07
  He
• 42:08
  was
• 42:08
  working
• 42:08
  on
• 42:08
  it
• 42:08
  when
• 42:09
  he
• 42:09
  passed
• 42:09
  away
• 42:10
  and
• 42:10
  I
• 42:11
  took
• 42:11
  over
• 42:11
  the
• 42:11
  project
• 42:12
  and
• 42:12
  turned
• 42:13
  it
• 42:13
  into
• 42:13
  ours.
• 42:13
  Let's
• 42:14
  just
• 42:14
  be
• 42:14
  honest.
• 42:15
  That's
• 42:15
  what
• 42:15
  happened.
• 42:16
  And
• 42:16
  so,
• 42:17
  so
• 42:17
  it
• 42:17
  is,
• 42:18
  it
• 42:18
  is
• 42:18
  our
• 42:18
  book.
• 42:18
  It's
• 42:19
  How
• 42:19
  we
• 42:19
  lived
• 42:19
  our
• 42:19
  lives,
• 42:20
  principles
• 42:21
  of
• 42:21
  success
• 42:22
  for
• 42:22
  us
• 42:22
  and
• 42:23
  lots
• 42:23
  of
• 42:23
  stories
• 42:24
  and
• 42:24
  things
• 42:24
  like
• 42:24
  that.
• 42:24
  So
• 42:25
  messy
• 42:25
  victories
• 42:26
  on
• 42:26
  Amazon,
• 42:27
  and
• 42:27
  you
• 42:28
  can
• 42:28
  find
• 42:28
  me
• 42:28
  at
• 42:28
  Colette
• 42:29
  hall.
• 42:29
  com
• 42:30
  or
• 42:31
  on
• 42:31
  Instagram
• 42:31
  on
• 42:32
  all
• 42:32
  the
• 42:32
  things
• 42:32
  Colette
• 42:33
  hall.
• 42:34
  Okay.
• 42:34
  That
• 42:34
  sounds
• 42:35
  amazing.
• 42:35
  We
• 42:35
  will
• 42:35
  definitely
• 42:35
  check
• 42:36
  it
• 42:36
  out.
• 42:36
  And
• 42:36
  I
• 42:36
  really
• 42:37
  want
• 42:37
  to
• 42:37
  read
• 42:37
  your
• 42:37
  book
• 42:37
  too.
• 42:37
  I'm
• 42:37
  super
• 42:38
  curious
• 42:38
  about
• 42:38
  all
• 42:38
  the
• 42:38
  stories
• 42:39
  you're
• 42:39
  telling.
• 42:39
  So
• 42:39
  Thank
• 42:40
  you
• 42:40
  so
• 42:40
  much
• 42:40
  for
• 42:40
  joining
• 42:40
  us.
• 42:41
  Thank
• 42:42
  you.
• 42:42
  It's
• 42:42
  been
• 42:42
  a
• 42:42
  pleasure.