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19: When You Can't Hack It · Finding God at Work

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(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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This is Finding God at Work.
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Just a reminder that Finding God at Work
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isn't just a podcast, it's also an online
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course.
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Check it out at findinggodatwork.org.
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Our current series is Meaningful Work, Calling, Formation,
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Service, and Love.
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Think of a time when you came up
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short at work, when you just couldn't hack
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it.
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For me, I think of about a year
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ago at this time of year, January, February.
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It was a mission central work day, so
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a day where I kind of managed my
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own schedule, run my own projects.
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I didn't necessarily have a lot of meetings,
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and I woke up and I just couldn't
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get out of bed.
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This time of year is often really hard
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for me because I have what's called a
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SAD, S-A-D, Seasonal Affective Disorder, or
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seasonal depression.
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It's inconsistent.
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There are some days that are good, some
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days that are bad.
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I also have experienced other kinds of depression
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at other times of year, but this day
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about a year ago was really, really bad.
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Thankfully, Katie had a day off from work,
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and she saw that I was struggling, and
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she was like, you're going to come with
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me today.
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She had a list of errands she was
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going to do, and so she sort of
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just dragged me out to the car, and
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I went along with her to her errands,
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and that was good for me, and kind
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of moving rather than just staying in bed
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or whatever I might have been tempted to
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do.
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But I did not really get any work
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done for Mission Central that day, which is
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a really difficult thing for me even to
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publicly admit because I'm so committed to working
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hard, to doing the best that I can,
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because I care so much about work.
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I've got to put my money where my
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mouth is.
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If work is this dynamic, wonderful thing that
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God has designed that has been compromised by
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the fall but can be redeemed by Jesus,
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where we can still exercise love for God
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and neighbor and be part of his flourishing
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of life and culture and the world, then
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like, you got to do it, right?
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But that day, I just, I came up
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short.
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I couldn't hack it.
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And I'm really grateful that Katie was so
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compassionate and involved, and for anyone that knows
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her, that's no surprise.
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But what's a moment like that for you,
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where work just is too much for you
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in a given season or at a given
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moment on a given day?
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Like me, it might be because of a
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particular health challenge you face, mental health challenge.
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It could also be circumstantial.
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I think of one of my coworkers who
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just very unexpectedly lost her husband.
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She couldn't work for a few weeks after
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that, very understandably, through the disruption of grief
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or loss.
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Could be other things.
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Sometimes we just hit these limits in our
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lives.
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It's like we hit a wall and we
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can't just brute force our way through.
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The wall stops us.
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It turns out we're not an unstoppable force
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meeting an immovable object.
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We're very stoppable forces, sometimes meeting very immovable
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objects in our working lives.
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So what do we make of that as
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disciples of Jesus?
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I think if we turn to scripture, we'll
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find that we are not the first human
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beings to face limitations like this.
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And there's lots of different passages that talk
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about human limitation.
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I just want to turn to Psalm 103
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because it also speaks about God's response to
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our limitation.
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So starting in verse 13, this speaks about
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kind of God's posture towards us.
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As a father shows compassion to his children,
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so the Lord shows compassion to those who
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fear him.
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For he knows our frame.
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He remembers we are dust.
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As for man, his days are like the
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grass.
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He flourishes like a flower of the field.
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The wind passes over it and it is
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gone and its place knows it no more.
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But the steadfast love of the Lord is
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from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear
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him and his righteousness to children's children, to
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those who keep his covenant and remember to
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do his commandments.
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I love this portrait of God's character, that
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he's fatherly, that he's compassionate, that he's steadfast
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in his love over multiple generations.
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How can this vision of God help us
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when we come up short at work?
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I want to focus on that word compassion
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and particularly something that's kind of in the
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cultural zeitgeist right now, which is this phrase
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self-compassion.
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I don't think it's a bad phrase because
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it gets at that idea that we have
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agency in regards to our own selves, our
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own care for ourselves.
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It's related to the phrase self-care.
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And if you're like me, the first time
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you heard the phrase self-care, you thought
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like, whoa, is that just kind of like
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a therapeutic, self-indulgent, you know, psychological term
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that maybe doesn't capture the heart of the
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good news of Jesus because, you know, Jesus
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calls us to die to ourselves, right?
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So how could self-care be virtuous?
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This was something I actually really struggled with,
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but it was really helped by this statement
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from a Christian teacher, kind of an obscure
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deep cut.
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Her name is Leanne Payne.
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She actually attended my church when I was
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a child and wrote some books.
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But she said that self-acceptance is the
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mirror image of God's love for us.
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And to me, that was so helpful because
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it's like, oh, it's not actually about me.
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It's not about me being this exalted authority
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that says I will accept myself.
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It's actually receiving God's love for me that
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results in me accepting me.
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C.S. Lewis, similarly, in Mere Christianity, he
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talks about God's forgiveness and how if we
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refuse to forgive ourselves when God has forgiven
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us, it's like setting ourselves up as a
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higher tribunal or court than God himself, that
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if we actually receive God's forgiveness for us,
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there's a sense in which we have to
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forgive ourselves.
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So this is the piece that's maybe sometimes
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missing from the cultural zeitgeist, which focuses on
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forgiving yourself or caring for yourself or showing
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compassion for yourself, is the idea that there's
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actually a richer, deeper, stronger, more eternal, more
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lasting, more consistent source of forgiveness and care
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and compassion than simply our own wavering capacity
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to minister it to ourselves.
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It's the love of God.
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God loves us.
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God is in his very being full of
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love, full of compassion for anyone who's facing
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weakness.
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Now, that doesn't mean that we don't have
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agency.
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It's not like mutually exclusive circles that don't
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overlap at all.
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It's more like a Venn diagram, right?
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Where there's God's care for us, and inside
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of that, actually, it's maybe a fully overlapped
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Venn diagram, inside of that is our care
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for us, because God has given us agency.
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He doesn't just do everything for us.
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He wants us to be involved in what
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he's doing, including his care for us.
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And you see this in any good parent
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-child relationship.
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This is why the psalmist says, as a
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father shows compassion to his children.
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What is a lot of parenting?
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A lot of parenting is teaching kids how
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to take care of themselves.
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At first, they can't do that.
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At first, you got to change their diaper.
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You got to feed them.
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If they're crying, you got to figure it
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out.
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They can't figure it out.
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But a lot of parenting is, as they
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get older, it's like, oh, you can use
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your words to tell me what's bothering you,
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or you can learn to wipe your bottom
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for yourself in the bathroom.
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You can learn to maybe even occupy yourself
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rather than just simply turning to me whenever
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you get bored.
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That one's a real challenge sometimes.
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And so, even though the parent is caring
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for the child, the way the parent cares
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for the child is by helping the child
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grow up to care for themselves.
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This is very, very similar to what God
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does with us.
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God has compassion for us.
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God cares for us.
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But the way that God does that is
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by teaching us how to exercise our own
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personal agency so that we can take care
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of ourselves.
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Now, sometimes we're in a really low spot,
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like I was a year ago on that
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day.
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I just couldn't get up.
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I couldn't work.
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And we need somebody else to come in
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and care for us.
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For me, I had Katie, and I'm really
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grateful.
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And I hope you have friends or family
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members or others who can sort of be
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there to care for you when you can't
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muster the energy to care for yourself.
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But there's an invitation here from God in
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His compassion for us, that just like self
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-acceptance is the mirror of God's love for
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us, that self-compassion is the mirror of
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God's fatherly compassion for us.
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So what does that mean when we come
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up short at work?
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Well, it means rather than condemning ourselves or
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shaming ourselves for our limitations, we receive God's
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compassion for us, and in a sense, show
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compassion to ourselves for our limitations.
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When we come up against that wall, that
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immovable object that we just can't get through,
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we don't blame ourselves and say, this is
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my fault that I can't muscle through this,
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that I can't just push my way through.
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Instead, what does the passage say?
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He knows our frame.
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He remembers that we are dust.
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As for man, his days are like the
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grass.
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He flourishes like a flower of the field.
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The wind passes over it, and it is
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gone, and its place knows it no more.
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When you're coming up against that immovable wall,
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it's like, oh yeah, I'm dust, I'm grass.
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This happens sometimes.
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You know, rock, paper, scissors, dust, grass, wall,
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wall beats grass.
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It's just like, that's how it works.
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Sometimes you hit a limit, and it's okay.
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And so if you have a really hard
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time, like me, being okay with that, with
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when you hit your limit, not being able
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to power through, what can you do?
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A couple thoughts here.
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One is to use discernment on whether you
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should try and power through.
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So when the going gets tough, that's not
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usually our limit.
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Sometimes when the going gets tough, and it
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feels like we can't do anything more, that's
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when we can push through, right?
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Like you think about athletes, that final sprint,
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you give it all you've got, and there's
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something heroic about giving it all you've got
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when you feel like you can't.
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At the same time, sometimes we can run
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ourselves ragged that way.
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And so discernment is required.
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So here's a good question.
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This is kind of a question from St.
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Ignatius, which is, will going that final sprint,
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will pushing that extra mile, will trying to
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push once more against this immovable wall, will
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that draw me closer to love and hope
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and faith, or will it push me away
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from it?
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Because you may find when you're pushing up
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against the wall that it's not actually about
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loving God and loving neighbor anymore.
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It's about proving something about yourself.
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It's about being the kind of person who
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can do this.
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And there's a question there.
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Is it okay if you're the kind of
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person who can't do that?
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Isn't it true that God still loves you,
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even if you can't do that today?
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Isn't it true that you're still a human
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being created in God's image, adopted through faith
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in Jesus Christ into his eternal family?
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Isn't that still true on a day where
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you can't give it 100% or 110
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%?
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If that's hard for you to receive, that's
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an area to press into in prayer of,
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oh, huh, this is something where maybe I
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need to receive the compassion of the Lord.
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So use discernment by asking, is going that
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extra oomph, can I do that to love
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somebody?
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Or is that about proving something to myself
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that doesn't need to be proven?
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This is going to vary by situation.
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So for example, if you have a sick
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kid and you're also sick, and you're asking
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myself, should I continue to care for my
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sick kid?
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The answer is yes.
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That's that heroic moment where it's like, you
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feel like you're at your limit.
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You feel like you've got nothing to give.
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But to love this child who's been entrusted
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to your care, you have to.
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There's no question.
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But let's say you're tempted to stay an
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hour late at the office.
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And if you do, you might miss a
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family dinner, but you really want this project
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to work out okay.
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Could it be that your motive is how
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you want to be perceived by your coworkers
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and your boss?
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And it's not really about loving people and
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the balance of your responsibilities in life overall.
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So again, you can ask that question when
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you're hitting the wall, what is the invitation
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of love here?
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Is it more loving to accept that I
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have limits?
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Or is it more loving to press ahead?
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Another word here.
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So that's the first thing we can do
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is we can kind of ask, what's the
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invitation of love?
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Use discernment.
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Use that discernment.
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I mentioned St. Ignatius.
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I think the phrase that he uses there
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is consolation versus desolation.
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Consolation are those experiences, those movements in our
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heart that help us move towards faith and
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hope and love, whereas desolation are those things
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that move us away from faith and hope
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and love and life with God.
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So all of that, different words for the
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same thing.
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What's the invitation of love?
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What is consolation versus what is desolation?
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What does discernment say about this moment, whether
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to keep going or not?
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And then here's another thought.
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If there's a pattern to your limitations, like
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for me, there's a pattern with my seasonal
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depression.
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It happens in the winter.
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Plan for your limitations and be okay with
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following that plan.
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So I never used to be like this.
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It would be like a workday in January
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or in February, and I would just be
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so mad at myself that I wasn't getting
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through stuff fast enough.
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And after several years, I finally realized, you
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know, I could just plan that stuff is
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going to take me longer to do in
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January and February.
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So that's what I do now.
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Like when I'm looking ahead to January and
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February, I don't pack as much stuff in
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as I do in say like July or
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August.
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I'm just like, I know that there are
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going to be afternoons where getting through a
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normal simple checklist feels like wading through molasses.
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And so I just planned for that.
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And I'm okay planning for that.
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And I realized it's not the end of
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the world.
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Like I can actually like adjust my workload
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and still meet my job requirements and be
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a good worker, you know, at my day
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job and for Mission Central, even if I'm
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not quite as hyper productive as I can
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be on my best day ever in the
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summer.
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So can you make a plan around any
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patterns of your limitations, again, for how to
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show compassion to yourself, for how to let
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yourself off the hook for certain kinds of
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straining that would actually do damage to your
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body and your soul and not really be
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about loving God and neighbor anyways.
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So those are my two thoughts.
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Use discernment.
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What's consolation?
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What's desolation?
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What's the invitation of love?
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And if there's a pattern here, make a
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plan for self-compassion, for self-acceptance, for
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living within those limitations.
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Because God doesn't expect more than that of
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you.
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God remembers that you're dust, you're grass.
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It's okay.
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And he has compassion for you.
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Lord Jesus, help us to have courage to
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face difficult things.
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Give us wisdom about when to keep going
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and when to receive your compassion.
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You're letting us off the hook.
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Show us how to really be moved and
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motivated by love and not by trying to
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save ourselves or prove ourselves.
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Help us to receive how you already care
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for us.
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Jesus, do your work in us as we
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do our work with you.
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Amen.