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The Subtle Art of Slowing Down: Finding Meaning in the Mundane · Wait... What's Next?

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Wait.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: What's next?
0:05
SPEAKER_00: This podcast is for all of you, my in-betweeners, who are in either one of the biggest pivots of your life or might just be going to a simple transition, such as realizing that the real joy in life is really toffee and not the best matcha in the world can compare.
0:26
SPEAKER_00: Oops! But maybe that's just me.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: That is to say, it doesn't matter what transitions you are in life, as long as you are going through one, this is your safe space to go through it alone with us.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: In this episode, we wanted to bring it back to a light conversation of just two girls talking about the current, wait, what's next moment?
0:46
SPEAKER_00: The stop transitions.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: Changes that come from finding stability, creating root somewhere, or even just finding your own little home.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: The subtle art of settling down.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: Which we came to a conclusion, it's a concept that needs to be reconsidered and refrained.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: The ups and downs and running on adrenaline is just not hitting like it used to.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: I think it's time to find peace and happiness rooted imbalance.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: I know we always say this podcast should feel just like a combo with your besties at an aesthetically pleasing coffee shop.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: But this episode really embodies that brand and it never felt this good.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: So sit back and sip your drink of choice while you indulge in our conversation today.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: Let's get into it.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm also going to Hawaii next week.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I'm so excited.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: I haven't even told my boss.
1:51
SPEAKER_00: So I have to thought about it.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: Are you going on the weekend or are you taking time off?
1:56
SPEAKER_00: I am going the weekend because it is Memorial Day weekend.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: Wait, yay! Oh you got time.
2:03
SPEAKER_00: I know.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: I was not gonna go, but honestly, and you probably can relate.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm at that point where it's like, I need to see him now.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: It's been way too long, and we have a three-day weekend.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: Also, it's expensive because everyone travels on Memorial Day weekend, and yeah, but I'm like, money, time.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: The only thing though is that's what I say.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: When you booked it in, somehow it works out instead of just calculating the money and how much you can spend.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: But another thing I'm worried about is that I'm going to a wedding in Maui on June 26th, the end of June.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: And then it's the 4th of July.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: So I'm also planning on going to be there for a week.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: 4th of July, it's on that Saturday, so we get the Friday before.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:51
SPEAKER_00: So long story short, I need to go tomorrow to my boss's office and be like, by the way, I'm taking off next Friday and also the week of the first week of July.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's what PTO is for, right?
3:08
SPEAKER_00: I know.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: I have six days, but it's so crazy.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: And that's the part about work that is so stressful.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: I do have my PTO.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: I have six days available, but I'm nervous to go and ask for like the six days, you know?
3:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: So I don't know why that's such a thing in the corporate world that we're afraid to use the time that we're given.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: In my mind, I'm thinking he's gonna look at me like Remy.
3:29
SPEAKER_00: Are you saying that you need this weekend and then also a whole week?
3:32
SPEAKER_00: But he's really sweet, and I think he's gonna be fine.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm just I like to put it off, and then I regret it because I should have brought this up two weeks ago.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: But it is what it is.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: But you're traveling a lot next week.
3:46
SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
3:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm traveling so much.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: I also feel like I'm having a crisis right now because I hate I hate all of my work clothes.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: Where do people buy corporate work clothes?
3:59
SPEAKER_00: I can't like I don't know where to get shirts.
4:02
SPEAKER_00: Nope, Aritzia does not work for me.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: I went in there yesterday.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: The pants hit me so weird.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: I am not built for Aritzia, so I tried on pants, I tried on shirts, but like I don't have corporate blouses or shirts that are cute and trendy.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: I wear the same three pants, they're also so uncomfortable, they're way too tight, or they're just so baggy and I have a diaper butt.
4:28
SPEAKER_00: Okay, same, but I feel like that's why I like Arizia because I do think for me too, I I barely find pants and jeans anywhere.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: And Aritzia is the one place my warp bands are from Aritzia, and I overwear these pants so much, and they're the only ones we're not uncomfortable, but I am right there with you.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: I hate when things are tight now, I cannot deal with it for eight hours a day.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm jealous though that Aritzia fits you because no, it was not cute.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: I I put them on and I was like, this is not working for me.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: You know, something that is underutilized is Amazon pants.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: The word pants in Amazon.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: Have you tried those?
5:08
SPEAKER_00: A lot of people were talking about those.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: Okay, outside of Amazon pants, old navy, I've heard, has good pants.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: And I honestly debated running to Old Navy an hour before it closes, but I'm so stressed about packing because I have so I'm going to three different cities.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm starting in Scottsdale, and then I'm going to National Harbor, D Maryland, DC, and then I'm going to Dallas.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: This is all for work, or this is combination of work social.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: So part of it, the first two nights, are a bachelorette in Scottsdale, and then the rest of it's all work, but it's a conference and a smaller event.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: Benny.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: Benny.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: Because my headphones onito.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, he can hear me.
6:02
SPEAKER_00: So cute.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: He has blue eye, Benny.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: He has one blue eye.
6:07
SPEAKER_00: One blue eye?
6:10
SPEAKER_00: One blue eye, one black brown blue.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: Can we talk about the transition of going from a girl without a dog to a girl with a dog?
6:23
SPEAKER_00: Because he is like the cure for my depression.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm pretty sure.
6:31
SPEAKER_00: Really?
6:31
SPEAKER_00: If I did not have him, oh, if I did not have him, I think I would be having such a more difficult time being in like this new city, new old city.
6:42
SPEAKER_00: Just because my friend group is so small now.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: And I was thinking about it earlier.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: Every day, like that dog is just Benny is just part of my life now.
6:51
SPEAKER_00: Like I get up and he's just there.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: And we do things for him.
6:57
SPEAKER_00: I swear our life revolves around him.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: So it always gives me something to do in company.
7:02
SPEAKER_00: I'm never alone, even though he stole my cookie earlier, which was not cool.
7:07
SPEAKER_00: I know.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: But I honestly that's how I feel too.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: It's so interesting because now you are with your person and then your life is taking shape.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: But I feel there's always something missing.
7:19
SPEAKER_00: Because I feel I always wanted to live in New York too.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: You had to live.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: You got to live in New York.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: But I was thinking about this recently where if I'm planning on moving to Hawaii, which I am, right?
7:30
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: Should I just do a solo one year in New York?
7:33
SPEAKER_00: You know me.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: I've been talking about this for years.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: You've always known each yeah.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: And I think the biggest thing when you are talking about living with your person, there's not a way back from that.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: It's a shift.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: That's your forever.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: And whatever you got to do before that, you can do it now or it's not done unless you do it with your person.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: But it's unrealistic for me to say, I'm gonna move to New York with Noah.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna happen.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I don't know.
7:59
SPEAKER_00: It's so weird.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: You would think that at least personally, I'm really happy.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, I'm saying no to a little things.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: Is what I'm saying.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you and I have talked about how we both don't like that what if as well.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm the same way.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: I like I really wanted to move to New York and I'm glad I got to do it, but I also made other decisions based off of what my big picture goals were.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: And you never know, maybe there will be a reason why you two could go to the East Coast or live somewhere different, or maybe Hawaii is meant to be your place and you go there and you fall in love with it.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this is our conversation today.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: The little quiet middles that nobody talks about because I know that I can push forward on moving to Hawaii.
8:47
SPEAKER_00: I know I can do it.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: I can only find a job and all of that, but it's a matter of I also kind of want to have a place where I know that it's gonna be a place for a long time.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: I have been in this transition ever since I moved from Santa Barbara.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: It was like, oh, I'm just gonna be here for a little bit because I was going to move to New York and then the pandemic happened and then we stayed and started creating roots here.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: But I always knew San Francisco, I knew it was temporary.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: San Francisco just wasn't a place where I wanted to move like New York.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then yeah, it was temporary, and now I'm here in this middle.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: Part of me is okay.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: Yes, part of me wants to go to New York and explore that.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: I definitely want to see a lot of the world too.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: But I'm excited to go to Hawaii.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: This is my place, and this is where building up, and then if we get to travel, that's great.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: Because I don't think I've experienced that yet.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: I think you could call New York your home for a while.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: You were like, this is home for me for the past seven years, you know?
9:45
SPEAKER_00: And I'm I did call New York my home for a while, and I will say knowing that you haven't had that, I'm having it for a little bit outside of moving apartments because I moved way too much.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: It feels like when you're living in apartments, you're moving.
10:01
SPEAKER_00: I don't maybe not everyone, because I do meet friends who stay in the same apartment for years and years.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: But for me, it seems like every year or two, I was in a new spot.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: But New York was home and San Diego's home again for sure.
10:16
SPEAKER_00: But when you know that you're waiting to hear where is next, it can definitely, I think, change your mindset and then also put you in a different headspace because it does feel transitional, it does feel temporary.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: You don't feel these right now.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: What you're living is transition.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: You're like, okay, we're creating a life here.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: I haven't felt that.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm ready to do that.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: Where I'm like, okay, I'm building up a community here and this is my place.
10:44
SPEAKER_00: And I just want to feel that.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: We'll see.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: Stay tuned.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: We'll see how I feel after that.
10:49
SPEAKER_00: But I feel recently, I mean, this constant, I have a job here from the outside.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: It might look I have this stability in my mind.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: I go to work, but I don't feel extremely connected to it because this is just temporary for me.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: And so trying to create things around me that feel okay, this is it, I can't do it because it's really not it.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: I was actually thinking about that too.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: I was like, why am I feeling this fine?
11:13
SPEAKER_00: Kind of things are settling down.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm not as busy anymore.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, why am I feeling weird?
11:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, what's going on?
11:18
SPEAKER_00: Let's explore that.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: I think it is because to your point, and it sounds like you've already kind of figured it out, you're feeling that tension of it not being home yet.
11:29
SPEAKER_00: And I will say, when people ask, if you were to ask me how do I feel about being in the current phase that I'm in, in the city I'm in, the apartment, all of that stuff, I always say that I feel very content.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I worry that content can be perceived as a negative thing, but I mean that in the best way possible.
11:49
SPEAKER_00: Like I just feel at peace.
11:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm at rest when it comes to where I'm supposed to be.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not, I don't feel like I need to find the next thing.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: I don't feel like I need to travel constantly to be distracted.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: Because at one point I felt like I was traveling a lot because I was running away in a way.
12:08
SPEAKER_00: But now I'm just, I want to be at home in my apartment.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: And it's not just because I'd become more of a homebody, it is because I am home.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm not going anywhere.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm not trying to go anywhere, I'm not looking for the next move, which is a different place to be in for sure.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: And you know, there's other things that we look for, like we talk about careers, different things change, but I have no plans to leave San Diego for the first time.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: I honestly think that what you said is so true, and that's when you have to check yourself because being content, people say, Oh, maybe you feel you're settling or you are just kind of accepting your reality.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: But I also think that we have been in this hassle and roller coaster mentality for the past 10 years, ever since we graduated, or even before that, where there was no stability at all.
13:01
SPEAKER_00: You're trying to figure out who you are.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: And I think that when you finally feel this peace of mind, you feel something's off because you're not on this adrenaline rush that you have been dealing with for years.
13:12
SPEAKER_00: Actually, I was thinking about that today.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: Maybe the peace, it's my normal, but I'm not used to it, and I'm constantly looking for something to worry about because we get so used to that adrenaline rush.
13:25
SPEAKER_00: And so that's so important to also notice and be aware of because that's when you start kind of looking for things that make you feel that way that are not necessarily good.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: I think being content is where we all aim to be at the end of the day.
13:41
SPEAKER_00: I think you're right though.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: When you're constantly up here, when you're all of a sudden here, not even all the way down here, just in the middle, it can feel something's wrong because you're so used to running off of stress, anxiety, adrenaline, fight or flight.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: And there's so many different ways that shows up.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking about some of the ways it showed up for me, and definitely, you know, going from a toxic relationship to a healthy one.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: That's a great example of being up here.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: Or to your point, constantly moving and wondering what's next.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: Even with career, when we're constantly up here and all of a sudden things slow down and the puzzle starts to come together.
14:27
SPEAKER_00: I think there is a moment of what is going on.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: Like, is this okay?
14:31
SPEAKER_00: And and then questioning if you're settling, and maybe we need to reframe the word settling, and maybe there's actually an art to the settle and something that is positive to it because on some level, the art of settling, yeah, the art of settling, which is so important.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: Okay, now we're I think we're on to something.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's cool.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: I I figure because I can see that Spanish theme going on behind you.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I could be in Spain right now.
14:59
SPEAKER_00: Who knows?
15:00
SPEAKER_00: I wish I was in Spain.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: I know.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: I was talking about we don't want to travel.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: I died to be in France right now.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: Right.
15:09
SPEAKER_00: And I also saw a meme yesterday that was like studies show that you need a vacation every two months to recover from work.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: And you know, I doubt that that's rooted in fact, but I'll believe it.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: No, I think that's my fact.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: I literally was thinking about this.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm pretty sure you feel this.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: It's good to go to work and feel you're doing a good job.
15:28
SPEAKER_00: When you come back from your trips and you did a good presentation, there's this fulfillment.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: And then the next day you wake up and now you have to plan for this trip again and do it all over again.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: It feels good.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: I love being productive and showing up and doing the job that I need to do.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: But also after a while, it's a never-ending thing.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: We're doing this over and over again, not to get depressive.
15:50
SPEAKER_00: And so I was thinking about that.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: I think I need a trip somewhere so that I can get out of this routine.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, there's just much more of life than this.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: And so you can go back to work and feel like empowered and motivated to do it all over again.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: But I do think there is a balance.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: I don't think it's normal, and I'm gonna get canceled by this.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: I don't think it's simple to be in an office eight hours a day, five days a week.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that is nuts to me.
16:16
SPEAKER_00: I was just what would you do if I was like, I disagree.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: No, I completely agree.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: I was you know what, amanda, we had a good run.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: No, my boyfriend thinks that's so funny because I always say things humans aren't meant to XYZ.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: And one of them is humans aren't meant to sit all day, right?
16:38
SPEAKER_00: We should be walking around.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: I kind of believe that we are supposed to live in walkable societies.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: I'll go on a rabbit hole about how vehicles are a whole thing that get us to move further away, less community, less walkable places, and you're spending more money.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: But outside of that, eight hours, nine hours a day in an office with those horrible lights and the air conditioning and just all of it.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: It's not.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: Have you seen that TikTok of this girl?
17:10
SPEAKER_00: The office was aging me, so I have to put my 9 to 5.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I put my skincare routine in the morning, I'm feeling glowing.
17:17
SPEAKER_00: And you know that new trend where you just feel shiny and you let your skincare speak for yourself, and then you show up in two hours in the office.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm dry.
17:25
SPEAKER_00: I have 20 wrinkles.
17:27
SPEAKER_00: This air conditioner is like in my face, it's all of the bacteria.
17:31
SPEAKER_00: All of this is so raw.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: Okay, but I love that you said rabbit hole because if you want to you want to get rid of rabbit hole, I was at work today.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you know about this new data that came out from apparently Trump dropped a bunch of files of UFOs, things that are happening that we didn't know.
17:49
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
17:49
SPEAKER_00: Have you heard of those news?
17:50
SPEAKER_00: It's literally all over the internet.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: No, not this.
17:53
SPEAKER_00: You're my second person that we've been slowly building up to that.
17:58
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
17:58
SPEAKER_00: And so you're my second person telling this.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm sitting in this office, right?
18:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm working on this, working on these designs, and I'm listening to this podcast, and it's the Dires of the CEO, which is a very apt day, super cool podcast.
18:12
SPEAKER_00: This guy just dives into any topic, and he's talking to these people that are probably ex-military top secret people that are super high level, and then there's another guy who's doing a documentary, and they're talking, get ready.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: Also, I want to say you heard it first in this podcast in case this actually happens, but they're saying, get ready.
18:35
SPEAKER_00: There's a ton of things that are starting coming out.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: The things that they release, that's just the beginning.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: There's just a bunch of things that are hiding, and then they get into quantity physics, they get into all of this secret data that we don't know.
18:49
SPEAKER_00: Basically, a bunch of a bunch of information of outside living and beings that could literally change the way we think and see our earth and our human experience.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: And I'm listening to this and I'm hyped.
19:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, wow, what's going on, guys?
19:07
SPEAKER_00: I want to know more.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: And this guy's asking the right questions.
19:10
SPEAKER_00: He's like, okay, well, the questions that I would ask if I was in that room, why aren't they lending on our backers?
19:15
SPEAKER_00: Why are they so secretive too?
19:17
SPEAKER_00: Why only the government has access to this data?
19:20
SPEAKER_00: If they theorically can lend anywhere and be with anyone, why are they only communicating with the government who's trying to keep that a secret?
19:28
SPEAKER_00: And so really cool.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna get into it.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm actually gonna link that episode in our in our show notes because it's so interesting.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: And then I'm sitting there working on this design, I'm looking at my computer, and all of a sudden, everything just looks so why am I doing this?
19:44
SPEAKER_00: Look at this conversation.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: We're about to probably make another leap into the future with technology, with all of this, and I'm here deciding whether or not this font matches the other whatever article that I was working on day before.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know.
19:59
SPEAKER_00: And so going back to the office, there's so many interesting things happening in the world, and I'm spending so much time on these little minimal tasks on my day-to-day.
20:12
SPEAKER_00: Are we having an existential crisis?
20:15
SPEAKER_00: Probably.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: I have a really good friend who always says life isn't real, and I think that incorporating that mantra was so nice.
20:23
SPEAKER_00: It's just a reminder to be just do it.
20:25
SPEAKER_00: What's the worst that's gonna happen?
20:26
SPEAKER_00: Life isn't real.
20:27
SPEAKER_00: And Kirin has like, we spend all this time in a corporate office, and you know, life just isn't real.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: We could just go live on a beach in Hawaii.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: Why does it matter?
20:35
SPEAKER_00: What is money?
20:36
SPEAKER_00: Money isn't real either.
20:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know exactly.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, we're really going into this rabbit holes, but it just really makes you question instead of maybe trying to figure out what's the whole point of this existence, I don't know.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: It's just like, I mean, listen, I love my job.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: I feel fulfilled, I like the creative side of it, I like that people are dependable on me and all of that.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: But we do spend what 60 to 70 percent of our lives away on these jobs, and then you're easy replaceable, somebody else is gonna come younger and is gonna change it.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: And then, like, there's not a lead, there's no change, there's not, oh my god, this person just did this huge difference in the world.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: There's only a few people that have done that in our history, and so I just do think that it puts things in perspective and to circle back to this podcast and the transitions.
21:30
SPEAKER_00: I think it's a good point of view to look at your life and whatever you're going through and realize that maybe it's not that big.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
21:40
SPEAKER_00: Like not to minimize what people are going through, but stepping away from making things so serious and realizing that there's just so much more bigger things out there, and we need to be less hyper focused on the little things that are keeping us back and that are holding us back and that are making us question life, and realize that.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: That maybe there's a bigger perspective, and that's what we should be focused on.
22:03
SPEAKER_00: How do you feel about that, Amanda?
22:05
SPEAKER_00: I think that every day you can make the option to go or make the decision to go through life being angry or being happy.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: So an inconvenience happens, uh, a car cuts you off, you drop your coffee, which true story I just did.
22:24
SPEAKER_00: I was taking Benny out for a walk the other morning.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: It was, I want to say it was three mornings ago, and I had just got my coffee and he wrapped his leash around me and it kind of jerked my arm, and my entire coffee fell on the ground all over the cement sidewalk.
22:41
SPEAKER_00: Laura, this coffee stain is haunting me.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: It is still, it has stained the cement, and this is our daily walk.
22:51
SPEAKER_00: So every time I walk by, I look at it, like it's a reminder of me.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: Yes, not that it's haunting me.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: But when it happened, it also went all over my boyfriend.
23:01
SPEAKER_00: It was a master, not over you, all over him, so for Linie.
23:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but when that happened, I was like, I can be upset.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: This can ruin my day, or I can just laugh it off and like, yes, I made the joke that I'm gonna have a bad day now, but I meant that it sarcastically, like it's just coffee, I can just go get another one, and even I was in a bad mood because we're in our luteal phase right now, you know, like and even Damien Moses said when you text me, you're like, she's angry, she's angry, guys.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: So angry.
23:39
SPEAKER_00: I was just on one.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: I think I was overwhelmed and just out of capacity that I didn't even realize it was operating in.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: So it was just coming out in other ways.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: But my boyfriend even asked me, he was like, I mean, you can sit there and be in a bad mood, or you can sit there and be in a good mood.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: And it's yeah, like conceptually, it's that easy.
24:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, really it's really easy.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: You know what's really interesting?
24:04
SPEAKER_00: It's almost annoying that it's that easy, and we choose violence because when I am in my car, that's an older part that it's aging me, and I'm just joking around.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna say aging me anymore because I swear words create reality, but as a joke, I get in my car and I'm I'm peace, I put my meditation.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes I do a meditation in the car because it's the only time I really have.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: So I put my meditation now.
24:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm in the car like zening, like just trying to be zen.
24:31
SPEAKER_00: And then people start being reckless.
24:34
SPEAKER_00: There is a slight moment in between where I can choose violence or I can just ignore it, just continue with my day.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: And I will say some days I'm wow, I'm really, I really rise about this.
24:47
SPEAKER_00: I leveled up, I'm conk, collected, I'm in my own world.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: Who cares if this guy went in front of me?
24:53
SPEAKER_00: It does not gonna make any difference.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: But then there's some other days I cannot, every single person bothers me, and I have to make it my point to make it known that I'm annoyed.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: And so, yes, we choose violence, we honk, we show attitude, and it's so simple, it really is.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: Like when I get home, or whenever when I go to work, and after that, I'm like, that was so stupid.
25:18
SPEAKER_00: Why did I do that?
25:19
SPEAKER_00: That was unnecessary drama, but again, it's just it's a choice.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: The world is throwing you constant trials and experiences and how you choose to live through those, and how you choose to experience them and whether or not you're happy or not.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: That is your choice, that is no one else's choice but yours.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: So I completely agree with your boyfriend.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: Is he positive?
25:43
SPEAKER_00: Is he the golden retriever of your relationship?
25:45
SPEAKER_00: Of the black cat.
25:47
SPEAKER_00: No, he's the golden retriever.
25:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm the black cat for sure.
25:50
SPEAKER_00: You're the black cat?
25:50
SPEAKER_00: Okay, because I am the golden retriever of my relationship and know as the black cat.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: Really?
25:55
SPEAKER_00: It's so funny how every relationship has one, either one.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think sometimes you just balance out like that too.
26:03
SPEAKER_00: And and I think I probably have my golden retriever moments, but I'm definitely more black cat.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: I also I wanted before I forget this thought, I wanted to go back to what you were saying about careers and time and just it not being serious.
26:16
SPEAKER_00: And we are replaceable when we work at big corporate companies and we spend all this time and do we leave a mark?
26:23
SPEAKER_00: But I saw this post on LinkedIn the other day, and this girl was saying how she was pregnant and she ended up going into labor significantly earlier than she expected, and there were some complications.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: And she was like, everything that was on urgent was no longer urgent.
26:42
SPEAKER_00: All the projects that I was trying to finish went unfinished.
26:46
SPEAKER_00: All the people I was supposed to connect with kept moving on and doing their jobs.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: And she said that at the end of this, be focused on her health, her new baby's health, and that job just fell aside, and how your life is so much more important than all these other stressors we bring in from things like careers.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to ask you, do you feel like you are doing your dream job when you were a kid?
27:11
SPEAKER_00: Is this your dream job?
27:13
SPEAKER_00: I think my dream job, I do like marketing, and I think with marketing, I could get where I wanted to be, which is in the fashion industry.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: I always said, this is my goal, and I think it still is, and I I just I'm rerouuting and finding a different way to get there.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: But I said, the day that I get invited to go to a fashion show in New York, fashion week or Paris Fashion Week, and I'm sitting not front row, I'll I'll take second row, I don't care.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: I made it when I'm sitting in a fashion show and I'm part of that scene, I know I made it.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: So whatever I need to do to get there, I don't care how, I don't care what I'm doing, as long as I get into that environment where I do want to be in the fashion industry, I want to do marketing for the fashion industry.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: So that's something that I'm I'm trying to explore.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: The reason why I also wanted to move to New York because that's the center of fashion.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: And so I think that would have been my dream job.
28:14
SPEAKER_00: Right now, I'm halfway there because I do like marketing.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: I don't think I would have been able to enter the fashion industry as a designer because that's just a different ballgame.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: I try to take a fashion designer class back in the day and I was quickly humbled by the experience.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: But in the marketing side, I think I can enter that industry in one way or another, or just be part of it, be our communications, whatever it is, but that's when I know I'm gonna make it.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if that answered your question.
28:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, it answers it.
28:48
SPEAKER_00: You feel like you're kind of on the yeah, you feel like you're you're on the path, but you're not there.
28:53
SPEAKER_00: You know your dream job, it's not what you're currently doing, but it's the stepping stones there.
28:59
SPEAKER_00: And the reason why I asked you that too is when you're a kid, you have all these dreams, and the world is just, I mean, the world is your oyster, right?
29:08
SPEAKER_00: There's nothing that can go wrong, anything is possible.
29:11
SPEAKER_00: Who knows the word no?
29:13
SPEAKER_00: Like that's not a thing.
29:14
SPEAKER_00: That's not a thing.
29:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, could you imagine though, as a kid growing up, knowing the reality is most people end up in jobs that they don't like, or most people don't even figure out what they want to do, and that instead of getting to do your dream job, you might have to take a few twists and turns in the process.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: And then knowing that we spend so much time being upset over those things and the things we can't control.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: And I mean, how much of our life do we spend upset when we could just not be upset?
29:46
SPEAKER_00: How do you feel about it?
29:47
SPEAKER_00: Do you feel you are in your dream job?
29:51
SPEAKER_00: Or are you on your way there?
29:54
SPEAKER_00: Or what is something that just like me, that fashion show?
29:57
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I have it so vividly.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: What is something that you want to experience where you're gonna sit there and feel like I made it?
30:05
SPEAKER_00: I think I'm on the path somewhere.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: I just don't really know what it is, and I've never really had a picture of what my dream job was.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know what I would have said when I was a kid.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure it always changed.
30:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure it went from being a dancer, which I'm not a good dancer, to being a worker at an employee at SeaWorld and training dolphins.
30:27
SPEAKER_00: I was probably all over the board.
30:29
SPEAKER_00: But that being said, yeah, I mean, I I we've kind of talked about this.
30:33
SPEAKER_00: I got to try a version of my dream job when I was on TV and doing national news because that was something I'd been talking about since high school.
30:42
SPEAKER_00: But things change.
30:43
SPEAKER_00: And I think more importantly, I know that my dream life, what I really want is to be happy and loved.
30:52
SPEAKER_00: And I do want kids one day and I want to build a life.
30:57
SPEAKER_00: And for me, that's more important than what's paying for all of that.
31:02
SPEAKER_00: As much as you know, money's nice and I want to be able to do everything I possibly can.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm more focused on making sure that I actually enjoy my life.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: That's what I see when I think about 10 years from now.
31:13
SPEAKER_00: I see me on a beach being able to bring my kids with me and sitting there holding hands with my husband as we're getting older.
31:20
SPEAKER_00: And 10 years from now, Benny will still be alive because he'll hopefully live until he's 15 and older.
31:26
SPEAKER_00: So that's what I picture.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: Pray for that.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: We love that.
31:30
SPEAKER_00: I actually love that you said that because rewinding back to my dream of okay, say that I did make it into going to New York and say that I'm in a company right now where I'm working for the fashion industry.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: I mean, have you guys watched the Worst Reddit?
31:47
SPEAKER_00: This woman loses her relationship to her job.
31:50
SPEAKER_00: And I do think that you kind of have to compromise something to get another thing that you want.
31:58
SPEAKER_00: And I have had these thoughts in my mind where I'm like, well, if I did have that life, I probably wouldn't be able to have my boyfriend and have all of these other things in my life that I really love.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: And it really puts into perspective because maybe that will be really fun, and to certain point it will make me feel super fulfilled.
32:19
SPEAKER_00: And maybe by the time I'm 40, I'm thriving and financially free and all of those things.
32:26
SPEAKER_00: But then would I be happy?
32:27
SPEAKER_00: And would I feel lonely?
32:29
SPEAKER_00: Would I feel like, okay, now what?
32:31
SPEAKER_00: Where is this person that I want to share all of these things with?
32:34
SPEAKER_00: Who knows?
32:35
SPEAKER_00: Maybe if I went that path and I meet somebody else, but it does make me go back and think I wouldn't change anything that I have right now for the world.
32:44
SPEAKER_00: I think it is one of those little crises that you face, whereas I might not have that, but I really couldn't change anything that I have right now.
32:53
SPEAKER_00: And I'm super excited for what I'm about to experience.
32:56
SPEAKER_00: And just because it didn't happen that way, it doesn't mean it's not gonna happen.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, this is part of the reasons why this podcast is so important to me.
33:06
SPEAKER_00: I think that working with you on this and now Lauren is so involved.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: I think this is taking us somewhere that might lead us to this dream that we have that maybe wasn't what we thought it was gonna be, but maybe it's a different way.
33:20
SPEAKER_00: And so that's why this is a passion project that I'm so excited about.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: I don't know where we're gonna end up, but I think there is a reason why we're here somehow.
33:30
SPEAKER_00: I completely agree with you, and I do like that perspective.
33:33
SPEAKER_00: And this is to anyone who's hearing and listening to this episode and thinking, okay, I love my life, but I'm kind of questioning whether or not I should have gone for the career, or maybe questioning going for a different person because you feel you're in a stable relationship, but you're not in those after downs.
33:50
SPEAKER_00: It's really good to step back and realize that what you all of the blessings that you have right now are so important in that maybe it's better than the alternative.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: I agree.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: And I think that was beautifully said.
34:00
SPEAKER_00: Because even for myself, I am the product of someone who moved for their relationship.
34:06
SPEAKER_00: And yes, I had an easy move because my family's here, so I had a safety net, but that is a big reason of why I moved.
34:14
SPEAKER_00: And everyone says, don't move for a boy.
34:17
SPEAKER_00: But when I zoomed out and I thought about what those two decisions would look like, I made the one that aligned with what I wanted big picture-wise.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: And same thing as you I could have made a different decision, and who knows how life would have played out, but I knew what would make me happy, and that to me was more important.
34:37
SPEAKER_00: And it can so many different things jobs, where you live, yeah, where you're with, all of that.
34:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it all leads into it.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: A good exercise for me, and I think we can start wrapping up this episode.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: I think this was really fun though.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: I really like the soft middles that we haven't really talked about because I think we talk about the big things and the big rank bottoms and career shifts and relationships, but the soft middles is where everyone must be at some point in life, maybe right now.
35:03
SPEAKER_00: Even today I went to lunch with my coworkers and this woman, she got married young and all of these things.
35:08
SPEAKER_00: And we were talking about the podcast in my career, and she was well like, you know, I should do something.
35:14
SPEAKER_00: I should like try to do something outside of work, and I'm like, Yeah, what are you waiting for?
35:17
SPEAKER_00: What is something you're passionate about, you know?
35:19
SPEAKER_00: But I think a good exercise for anybody who is in this situation is picture your liar in that alternative without the things that you had.
35:29
SPEAKER_00: And I did that.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: I was okay, I will be in New York, maybe living in my apartment alone.
35:34
SPEAKER_00: Love going out, love going to restaurants, eating food, seeing my friends in the weekends.
35:39
SPEAKER_00: And then what?
35:40
SPEAKER_00: I can do that for years.
35:42
SPEAKER_00: And probably at your three, I'll be like, okay, what's going on here?
35:46
SPEAKER_00: This is becoming competitive.
35:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm alone.
35:48
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how dating would have been in New York.
35:51
SPEAKER_00: Some of your feedback is that it wasn't the best.
35:53
SPEAKER_00: I look back and I'm with my boyfriend and where things are trying to look right now.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: The future doesn't seem better.
36:00
SPEAKER_00: It just feels like it's evolving, it's becoming bigger.
36:03
SPEAKER_00: There is this wonder and uncertainty that I'm excited about because it's not just being individualistic, but there is something beautiful about sharing your life with somebody else and building something together.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: The unknown of it makes it interesting rather than living alone and knowing what I'm gonna be in the next year, because I already planned my career, I already talked to my mentors, I know what I'm doing, and so this is where I need to be next year.
36:29
SPEAKER_00: And so while it is nice to know where you're going, it's also nice to not know where you're going.
36:36
SPEAKER_00: Because that is the whole point of us living this experience of life.
36:41
SPEAKER_00: That's a good exercise because I've done it and this has helped me get a point of view of where I'm at in life.
36:46
SPEAKER_00: I like that exercise.
36:47
SPEAKER_00: I think I've done it too.
36:49
SPEAKER_00: And also, just to piggyback off of what you were saying, unplanned things happen in life all the time.
36:55
SPEAKER_00: I don't think I know anybody whose life went as planned.
36:59
SPEAKER_00: And when you get so stuck in these ideas, I think that to your point, it can almost do more harm because you just you don't know what's gonna happen or what's going to be thrown your way.
37:11
SPEAKER_00: And so having that unpredictability, not completely knowing there is some beauty in that, and maybe even some grace.
37:18
SPEAKER_00: And it's just just that we're only humans.
37:20
SPEAKER_00: That's just how we are meant to live.
37:23
SPEAKER_00: However, we don't settle.
37:24
SPEAKER_00: You work really hard for the life that you have right now, as much as I know I have worked hard for the life that I have.
37:32
SPEAKER_00: And I think always practicing grace and being thankful helps you get back into your center and not take things for granted.
37:40
SPEAKER_00: Because what would you do if all else was taken away today?
37:44
SPEAKER_00: What you were saying to your point.
37:46
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes when I go to the doctors and I'm waiting for some test, like there is part of me where I think, oh my God, what if something's up?
37:53
SPEAKER_00: Right.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: And in that moment, everything else goes gray and nothing else matters but your health, because you can't exist in this world without being healthy and experience it in the way that we do.
38:03
SPEAKER_00: And so that's when the little mundane things become so big.
38:07
SPEAKER_00: The fact that you can see and hear and walk and I can work out and I can, you know, talk to people and do all these things, it just becomes so much bigger.
38:16
SPEAKER_00: So we are inviting people to get on that perspective if you're feeling some type of way, because the little things are the big things, are the bigger things in the bigger scheme of things.
38:28
SPEAKER_00: So we love always catching up every week, Amanda.
38:33
SPEAKER_00: I think this one was a good one.
38:34
SPEAKER_00: We didn't really have script, but you know, there's always something to talk about.
38:38
SPEAKER_00: This episode felt two friends grabbing coffee and just chopping it up.
38:44
SPEAKER_00: You know, sometimes it's gonna get real and just have an unscripted moment.
38:49
SPEAKER_00: And I really love that.
38:50
SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna let you tell where everyone can find us today and then wrap it up.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: I was gonna tell you to do the honors, but I didn't last week, so you know.
39:02
SPEAKER_00: You're just so much better at it.
39:05
SPEAKER_00: Take us up.
39:06
SPEAKER_00: Find us on, I know, find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify at Wait What's Net.
39:12
SPEAKER_00: We also have our Instagram at wait what's net pod.
39:16
SPEAKER_00: Please leave us some comments, reviews, give us a like and a follow.
39:20
SPEAKER_00: Also, we have a TikTok.
39:22
SPEAKER_00: There are some clips up there.
39:24
SPEAKER_00: You get to see our faces.
39:25
SPEAKER_00: We're not just voices, but we do appreciate all the feedback.
39:29
SPEAKER_00: Connect with us and DMs and follow.
39:31
SPEAKER_00: And we will see you next week.
39:33
SPEAKER_00: So we'll see you next week.
39:35
SPEAKER_00: Bye.