Latest / Equipped for Impact / The Museum Of The Mundane: Finding God in the Boring Parts of Parenting
Transcript
- 0:00Nate: Open up any social media app right now and tell me what you see.
- 0:04Nate: Vacation photos, awards ceremonies, highlight reels, everybody's life looks like a movie trailer.
- 0:12Luis: And here's what that does to us as parents.
- 0:15Luis: It creates this low-grade guilt that if our family life isn't constantly epic, we're somehow failing.
- 0:22Luis: If we aren't at a theme park, a championship game, or some kind of mountaintop moment, we feel like we're just treading the water.
- 0:31Nate: But here's the honest truth.
- 0:39Nate: It's in the carpool line, it's the laundry pile, it's the quiet Tuesday afternoon where nothing important is on the calendar.
- 0:48Luis: And we want to make the case today that that is not wasted time.
- 0:53Luis: That is discipleship time.
- 0:55Luis: Today we're talking about how to stop viewing your home as a waiting room for the next big event and start seeing it as what we're calling a museum of the mundane, a place where God is actively, deliberately at work in the ordinary, the quiet, and yes, even the boring.
- 1:36Nate: And we are glad you're here with us today, where we're diving into what might be the most counter-cultural episode we've done in a while.
- 1:45Nate: Not true.
- 1:46Nate: It's not?
- 1:46Nate: No, because you've talked about eating breakfast for dinner in a lot of episodes.
- 1:50Nate: Fun fact last night.
- 1:52Nate: No, don't tell me.
- 1:53Nate: Okay.
- 1:53Nate: I don't want to know.
- 1:54Nate: Okay, that's fine.
- 1:55Nate: So we're gonna be talking about the theology of the ordinary.
- 1:59Nate: Okay.
- 1:59Nate: We're talking about how the spiritual discipline of boredom, which that's not an official spiritual discipline.
- 2:07Nate: Like you're not gonna find that in the Bible.
- 2:08Nate: Right?
- 2:08Nate: Mm-mm.
- 2:09Nate: Maybe in the Apocrypha.
- 2:10Nate: Maybe.
- 2:11Nate: But I don't read that.
- 2:12Nate: So that's all right.
- 2:13Nate: But the spiritual discipline of boredom, right?
- 2:15Nate: Why we need to stop rescuing our kids from being bored from quiet moments and how to help them find God when life feels completely plain.
- 2:27Nate: All right.
- 2:28Nate: So, Lewis, I want to start with something that I think catches a lot of people off guard when they first hear it.
- 2:33Nate: Okay.
- 2:34Nate: And this is the liturgical calendar.
- 2:36Nate: Are you familiar with the liturgical?
- 2:37Nate: Yeah.
- 2:38Nate: Okay.
- 2:38Nate: Not all of our listeners, maybe, right?
- 2:41Nate: But this is they've probably heard of Advent, right?
- 2:44Nate: It's the time leading up to Christmas.
- 2:46Nate: Yes.
- 2:46Nate: They've probably heard of Lent.
- 2:48Nate: Yes.
- 2:48Nate: I think who is it, Mark Wahlberg, who always ends up going on like some newscast on Ash Wednesday.
- 2:54Nate: Yeah, yeah.
- 2:54Nate: And he's got the little like ash cross on his forehead, you know, that's the start of Lent leading up to Easter, right?
- 3:01Nate: They're they're familiar with those two, right?
- 3:04Nate: But more than half of the time in the liturgical calendar is actually called ordinary time.
- 3:11Nate: And to get really fancy, in the Latin, it is the word ordinarias.
- 3:16Nate: Now, this is the first time you've quoted a Latin definition.
- 3:20Luis: Well you've done Greek and Hebrew.
- 3:21Luis: I've done Greek and Hebrew.
- 3:22Luis: I I took Latin in high school.
- 3:24Luis: Did you really?
- 3:24Luis: I did.
- 3:25Luis: I took it for a year and I learned a thing or two.
- 3:28Luis: It helped me with Greek.
- 3:30Luis: I did not take Latin at all.
- 3:32Luis: Greek, yes.
- 3:32Luis: Greek.
- 3:33Luis: Hebrew.
- 3:33Luis: Hebrew, yes.
- 3:34Luis: Not Latin.
- 3:35Luis: Not Latin.
- 3:35Luis: But that word ordinarius doesn't mean boring or insignificant.
- 3:41Luis: It actually comes, it actually gives us, right, the the root word for order or numbered.
- 3:48Luis: It's think of it like this the rhythmic, ordered season of steady growth, right?
- 3:55Luis: Not a festival, not a fast, right?
- 3:58Luis: Like not being fast, but just being faithful, just being the numbered days of walking with God.
- 4:05Luis: We are ordinarias.
- 4:06Nate: Yep, it's the ordinary time, just the normal everyday life.
- 4:10Nate: And I think we've completely lost our appreciation for that in 21st century American homes.
- 4:15Nate: We have we've unconsciously taught our kids and ourselves, to be honest, that God only shows up at the youth retreat, at summer camp, at the missions trip, at Easter sunrise services.
- 4:28Nate: But that's not the way God works in Scripture.
- 4:32Luis: No, in fact, when we look at Scripture, right, we see that God is the God of growing, right?
- 4:41Luis: Is the seed in the dirt where the farmer sleeps and the process of growth happens and it takes time, right?
- 4:52Luis: In fact, when we look at Mark 426 through 29, we see that Jesus says that the kingdom of God is like a man who scattered seeds, then he goes to bed, then he wakes up, then he goes to bed, then he wakes up, and the seed sprouts, and though he does not know how, but the growth is happening in the ordinary rotation of the days.
- 5:15Nate: Yeah, and this really goes back to our core passage that we talk about here on Equip for Impact all the time, Deuteronomy 6.
- 5:23Nate: Yes, right?
- 5:24Nate: The Shema.
- 5:24Nate: That's there you go.
- 5:26Nate: There's the Hebrew, right?
- 5:27Nate: When God gives Israel the blueprint for passing faith to the next generation, he doesn't say take your kids to the big annual festival, although that's memorable and that's you know commanded.
- 5:40Nate: He says, teach these things in the ordinary moments of life.
- 5:44Nate: When you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up, those are all ordinary everyday things.
- 5:51Nate: The whole framework is built on these repetitive moments.
- 5:56Luis: And this matters because if we only look for God in the spectacular, right?
- 6:01Luis: So if we only point our kids to Him in those big moments, we start to train them to have what I think could be called like a vacation faith, right?
- 6:10Luis: This faith that feels real in July during summer camp or on the mission trip or at the conferences, but it completely collapses when September hits, and it's just homework and practice, and it's Tuesday.
- 6:24Nate: Although if it's Tuesday, hopefully you're eating tacos for Taco Tuesday.
- 6:27Nate: You should be.
- 6:28Nate: And wearing a tie like I do for Tide Tuesday.
- 6:30Nate: On Tie Tuesday.
- 6:31Nate: Yeah.
- 6:31Nate: Yeah.
- 6:32Nate: No, I was reading a book recently.
- 6:33Nate: It just came out.
- 6:34Nate: Are you familiar with the author, John A.
- 6:36Nate: Cuff?
- 6:36Nate: I am.
- 6:37Nate: Okay.
- 6:37Nate: So his newest book, Procrastination Proof, which has one of the coolest covers I've ever seen.
- 6:42Nate: It's like a turtle with a rocket strapped to its back to like make it go faster.
- 6:47Nate: But anyway, he's got this section in there where he talks about the montage seasons.
- 6:52Nate: And you know, like when you're watching a movie like Rocky or Karate Kid or whatever, you know, like they they have the beginning part where they're terrible and they need work.
- 7:02Nate: Yeah.
- 7:02Nate: And then they've got the ending, you know, the climax, they win and they're all happy.
- 7:06Nate: Yeah.
- 7:06Nate: But then there's like this montage where they're training, they're practicing, they're doing all of these things.
- 7:12Nate: And it's like five minutes of the movie.
- 7:14Nate: Yeah.
- 7:15Nate: But it covers months probably of time.
- 7:18Nate: And what he talks about is like that's when growth and progress happens.
- 7:23Nate: There's not a lot to talk about, but you're just repeating, doing these ordinary, everyday things to keep getting better and to keep embracing the normality of life before you get to that ending point.
- 7:35Nate: So he's like, remind yourself what season you're in.
- 7:37Nate: You're in the montage season, right?
- 7:39Nate: Which I think fits well.
- 7:40Nate: That's what we see in Deuteronomy 6, right?
- 7:42Nate: It's the montage.
- 7:43Nate: Yep.
- 7:43Nate: Have you ever seen the Rocky movies?
- 7:45Nate: I ha the first one.
- 7:46Nate: Okay.
- 7:46Nate: So no, the second one.
- 7:48Nate: Is the second one where he goes against the Russian?
- 7:50Nate: Or is that the third one?
- 7:51Luis: Oh no.
- 7:52Luis: No.
- 7:53Nate: You clearly I don't know my Rocky.
- 7:55Nate: No.
- 7:55Nate: There's like 17 of them now, though.
- 7:57Luis: Uh six or maybe seven.
- 7:59Luis: Six or seven.
- 7:59Luis: Six or seven of them.
- 8:01Luis: So we gotta let that one go.
- 8:02Luis: Yes.
- 8:02Luis: Okay.
- 8:03Luis: But yes, I just know Adrian.
- 8:05Luis: Rocky has some really good montage moments in all the movies.
- 8:09Luis: I usually watch Rocky, all the Rocky movies a few times a year.
- 8:13Luis: A few times a year?
- 8:14Luis: No, I I take that back.
- 8:16Luis: I watch all of them maybe once a year.
- 8:18Luis: Yes.
- 8:19Luis: Okay.
- 8:19Luis: Like, you know, so I I guess I'll watch a few of them over the course of the year.
- 8:22Luis: Okay.
- 8:22Luis: There we go.
- 8:23Nate: There we go.
- 8:23Nate: In the montage moments of your life.
- 8:25Nate: Well, let's get serious here.
- 8:26Nate: Okay.
- 8:27Nate: So what does this mean, right?
- 8:28Nate: Here's the countercultural idea.
- 8:31Nate: Let's embrace boredom.
- 8:34Nate: Is this idea of being being bored, right?
- 8:36Nate: Think about it.
- 8:37Nate: Our reflex as parents, especially we're getting close to summer.
- 8:41Nate: The first couple of days of summer break.
- 8:44Nate: Oh yes.
- 8:45Nate: Your kid is like, Dad, I'm bored.
- 8:48Nate: Mom, I'm bored, right?
- 8:50Nate: And so our reflex as parents, and that includes me, right?
- 8:53Nate: Is to to jump right in and rescue our kids and give our kids something to do, something to see, something to watch, whatever.
- 9:01Nate: And then there's, you know, that lull in the car or the waiting at the restaurant or just a gap in the schedule, and we're just ready to fill it with anything to kind of numb our brains.
- 9:13Luis: And because of that, right, we've treated boredom like it's a disease that needs to be cured immediately.
- 9:19Luis: And so we want to get rid of it.
- 9:22Luis: But boredom is not the enemy.
- 9:24Luis: Boredom is actually that soil where creativity and prayer can take root, where it can be cultivated, where there can be growth.
- 9:35Luis: And when we eliminate every moment of quiet, we eliminate the very space where a child has to sit with their own thoughts and and eventually they don't make room or time for God.
- 9:51Nate: Yep, yep, that's right.
- 9:52Nate: And really, this is not a new thing, right?
- 9:56Nate: Because we could go back to the 17th century and and our historians in the audience may know of the name Blaise Pascal.
- 10:04Nate: And he he famously wrote that humanity's problems stem from our inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
- 10:14Nate: And that was before TikTok was a thing.
- 10:18Nate: We had no idea.
- 10:20Nate: He had no idea what was coming.
- 10:22Nate: Yep, yep.
- 10:23Nate: And that's that's crazy.
- 10:24Nate: And yes, we did fact check that.
- 10:26Nate: That is that is true, right?
- 10:27Nate: But the 17th century mathematician made that comment.
- 10:30Nate: So if our kids in the 21st century, they're they're constantly stimulated, right?
- 10:35Nate: It's it's the algorithm, it's the excitement.
- 10:38Nate: Every moment has to be engaging and entertaining and immediately satisfying, but they'll never develop the capacity to sit and meditate on scripture, to listen for what the Holy Spirit is saying through his word, to simply be still and and trust God and what he's teaching you.
- 10:56Luis: And that has massive implications for their faith because the Christian life is not primarily a series of mountaintop experiences, it is a long obedience in the same direction.
- 11:10Luis: That's a good book, too.
- 11:11Luis: Have you read it?
- 11:12Luis: I have not, but I'm familiar with the quote.
- 11:14Nate: Okay, okay.
- 11:15Nate: Yep, yep.
- 11:16Nate: Uh Eugene Patterson, right?
- 11:17Nate: Is that right?
- 11:18Nate: Yes, yes.
- 11:18Luis: That's a great, great book.
- 11:20Luis: It is it's waking up and choosing to honor God on a Wednesday morning when nothing special is happening, right?
- 11:27Luis: It's waking up on a Saturday and having nothing to do and being like, we're just gonna have breakfast at a normal time as a family and enjoy this moment of of space.
- 11:41Nate: Yeah.
- 11:41Nate: And then think to ourselves, it would be so great if we could have this breakfast like tonight for dinner, too.
- 11:46Nate: No, no, no, because you want to use that time for something different.
- 11:49Nate: Okay.
- 11:50Nate: If if that's your thing.
- 11:51Nate: Like normal people.
- 11:52Nate: Like normal people, like ordinary people.
- 11:54Nate: Is that what you're saying?
- 11:55Nate: That's right.
- 11:55Nate: Oh my goodness.
- 11:56Nate: Okay, so so the reframe we want to offer is this instead of seeing the mundane as something to survive until the next exciting thing happens, we want to help our family see the mundane as a museum, right?
- 12:10Nate: A museum.
- 12:11Nate: So in a museum, right, you slow down, you look at things that you wouldn't normally, you know, look at, you walk right past.
- 12:18Luis: And then you ask, like, what is this, right?
- 12:20Luis: What what does it mean?
- 12:22Luis: Who who made it?
- 12:23Luis: And we want to help our kids bring that posture to the ordinary rhythms of a faithful life.
- 12:31Luis: And and and we want to ask, like, where is God in this?
- 12:36Nate: Yeah, that's that's really good.
- 12:37Nate: And that's that's a great framework.
- 12:39Nate: So so we love to give practical examples, right?
- 12:42Nate: And and give you a practical tool.
- 12:44Nate: So let's kind of take three shifts in this mundane metifest manifesto, uh, three shifts that you can start making right now.
- 12:54Nate: So, Lewis, Lewis, what's shift number one?
- 12:56Luis: So start by changing your language around boredom, right?
- 13:00Luis: So, so the next time that your child comes to you and says, I'm bored, and that happens a lot in in my house, right?
- 13:08Luis: Don't offer a solution, but instead try this.
- 13:10Luis: Like, that's actually a gift.
- 13:12Luis: Like your your brain is getting ready to create something or hear something, and and I can't wait to see what it is.
- 13:20Luis: Like, spend some time drawing, spend some time thinking, spend some time building with Legos.
- 13:26Luis: Oh, that's a big one.
- 13:27Luis: Yeah, right.
- 13:28Luis: Yes, you just get a big pile of used Legos and then just like sit there.
- 13:32Nate: And unless you give yourself time without distraction, you won't come up with the new like creation you're gonna make out of your Legos.
- 13:40Nate: So and that's even your older kids, right?
- 13:42Nate: So that's a great shift there.
- 13:44Nate: So shift number two, Nate.
- 13:46Nate: Yep.
- 13:46Nate: Yep.
- 13:46Nate: Shift number two is create one screen-free side-by-side moment.
- 13:52Nate: And honestly, it's probably there, so you don't have to create it, right?
- 13:55Nate: You can just pick up an ordinary task this week doing the dishes, folding laundry, pulling weeds, you all of those things are natural moments for you.
- 14:05Nate: And so you can do it together with no background noise, no podcast, no music, no TV.
- 14:11Nate: Just ask whoever's with you, right?
- 14:13Nate: Whoever's next to you, your child, and you'll be amazed what gets said in those spaces, right?
- 14:20Nate: You just talk to them and enjoy that time.
- 14:23Nate: And so this is really building resilience and it and it's helping.
- 14:27Nate: There's a lot of things.
- 14:27Nate: You can go brain research that psychologists have psychologists have made, and just think about the the quiet times where you're not distracted by a glowing rectangle or anything buzzing catching your attention.
- 14:40Nate: And so that will build their resilience for focus, and it's got like psychologists talk about it's great for focus at school and tests and quizzes and reading and all of that.
- 14:50Nate: But honestly, it's also helping you to be still and think about who God is and how he is still working even in the ordinary.
- 15:00Nate: So, what's what's shift number three, Lewis?
- 15:02Luis: So we talk about narrating the faithfulness, right?
- 15:06Luis: And this is what Deuteronomy 6 looks like in real life, right?
- 15:10Luis: So don't just live the ordinary moments, but but name what's happening in them.
- 15:16Luis: So you might say something like, You know why I show up to your games every week when I'm tired?
- 15:22Luis: Because that's what faithful love looks like.
- 15:25Luis: That's what God's love for us looks like.
- 15:29Luis: And so you're turning a bleacher seat into a theology lesson.
- 15:33Luis: You you're taking those ordinary moments that happen, and you are instilling in your children what that means for them theologically.
- 15:43Luis: And you don't have to be super fancy.
- 15:45Nate: Yeah, and and here's the thing, like even something like that, like it it almost sounds like a humble brag, maybe, if you were to do it that way.
- 15:53Nate: But in truth, like you're helping them see that you know, life is not all about you, right?
- 16:00Nate: You are modeling that you're gonna show up.
- 16:04Nate: Yeah, right.
- 16:04Nate: It's like, you know, going to somebody, you know, a funeral or visitation, like nobody wants to be there standing in a big long line, walking down the aisle, and you know, there's all these other, you're like maybe you know one of the family members or a couple, but not all of them.
- 16:19Nate: And so it's kind of awkward where you're like saying, you know, sorry for your loss, praying for you, you know, stuff like that.
- 16:24Nate: But like that moment's not about you.
- 16:26Nate: Yep.
- 16:27Nate: It's about them.
- 16:27Nate: And so you teach your kids that when you do these things that are not fun things to do.
- 16:32Luis: And you're helping them name those things, right?
- 16:35Nate: Yeah, you know, you're helping them.
- 16:36Luis: Yeah, and then that framework, right?
- 16:38Luis: So, so like, you know, I'm tired, I'm busy.
- 16:43Luis: There's a lot of stuff I could be doing, but I'm here in that moment with you, and that's what God does for us.
- 16:51Luis: Yeah, like God obviously God's not tired, God's not you know, discouraged, he's busy, but not overly busy because he's God.
- 16:58Luis: And so God is still shows up for us because because he loves us.
- 17:02Luis: Yep.
- 17:03Luis: And and we're doing that.
- 17:04Luis: And so, parents, here's the bottom line a faithful life is not gonna be built on the extraordinary moments, it's gonna be built on those thousand ordinary decisions where you choose to honor God.
- 17:18Luis: Long after Easter, long after Christmas, long after summer camp, long after the retreat glow is gone, that's what you're gonna remember.
- 17:28Luis: It's gonna be the little spoon, right?
- 17:31Luis: Tinking on the coffee cup when you were a little boy.
- 17:34Luis: There you go.
- 17:35Luis: And you guys that's a callback.
- 17:36Luis: Yeah, and you remember your mom doing her devotion, right?
- 17:38Luis: Yep.
- 17:39Luis: And so it's you know, it's that's that's where it's happening.
- 17:42Nate: If you're a new listener, go back and listen to our episode on grandparenting, where that one, that story comes up, and then I'm sure it comes up a couple other times.
- 17:49Nate: But some of our older episodes about devotions and all of that.
- 17:52Nate: So, Lewis, any last words of encouragement for parents who are listening to this and maybe you know dealing with some bored kids right now?
- 18:00Luis: Well, here's the thing, parents, is you do not have to entertain your children into the kingdom of heaven.
- 18:06Luis: Because God is already there, right?
- 18:08Luis: God is there in the quiet, he's there in the boring, he's there in the pile of dishes, he's there in the backseat of the minivan on a random Thursday afternoon.
- 18:20Luis: And your home is already a museum of his grace.
- 18:23Luis: You just need to slow down long enough to see and look at the exhibits.
- 18:27Luis: And so this week I challenge you, resist the urge to fill every gap.
- 18:32Luis: Let there be some quiet, let there be some boredom, and watch what God does in that space.
- 18:38Nate: That's great.
- 18:39Nate: So thank you all for listening today to Equipped for Impact.
- 18:43Nate: If this episode encouraged you, please share it with another parent who could use this resource.
- 18:48Nate: And be sure to subscribe so you don't miss our next episode.
- 18:52Nate: And until then, keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ, even in the ordinary moments of their day.