Latest / Mommywood / New Dad, Same Dream: CK Bolado on Acting & Fatherhood

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New Dad, Same Dream: CK Bolado on Acting & Fatherhood · Mommywood

0:02
Welcome to Mommy would, the podcast where motherhood meets
0:06
Hollywood, real moms, real talk, no scripts.
0:10
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2:02
Welcome to another episode of Mommy Wood.
2:04
I'm your host, Emily Bolt, and today we're flipping the script
2:07
a little bit. Yes, we talk a lot about moms
2:09
here, but today we're bringing in a dad, a new dad who is
2:12
navigating fatherhood in real time while also building a
2:16
career in this wildly unpredictable industry.
2:20
I had the pleasure of sitting down with actor and creator CK
2:23
Bolado. If you know him, you follow him
2:25
on Instagram, you know that he shares so openly about
2:29
parenting, the funny moments, the vulnerable moments.
2:32
The. Learning curves.
2:34
And what I love is that he's showing up as a present,
2:37
intentional father while also still chasing his creative
2:42
dreams. We talked about what surprised
2:44
him most about becoming a dad. We talked about how fatherhood
2:48
has shifted his identity as an actor.
2:50
We talked about what it's like sharing family life online and
2:56
and about the boundaries that he has to put in place when it
3:01
comes to that topic as well. We also talked about the very
3:05
real balance of wanting to provide but also wanting to be
3:09
home. I know we all feel that so much.
3:13
This episode is honest, thoughtful, and really
3:17
refreshing. Especially if you've ever
3:18
wondered how dads are processing this massive life change behind
3:23
the scenes as well. So let's get into it.
3:26
I know you are going to enjoy this episode of Mommy Wood with
3:31
CK Salado. Hi CK, hello Whining.
3:36
Thanks for being a part of Mommy Wood.
3:38
Yeah, of course. Yay, I was so happy to chat.
3:40
Actually, we met on set. We did.
3:43
Yeah. At a commercial set for Wicked.
3:47
Yeah. Or a what was it?
3:48
Dunkin? Dunkin' Donuts?
3:49
Yeah. Yeah, but I feel like it was so
3:54
cool to have another parent there.
3:57
I don't know if you find that like once you find someone on
4:01
set who's also a parent, you're like, we can chat.
4:04
Absolutely. Actually, ever since I became a
4:06
parent, that's kind of my first question is kind of like, how do
4:10
you maneuver through this? All right, you know, what is
4:12
your kind of balance? Like where's your mind set at?
4:16
It's also a good icebreaker, especially if when you go with,
4:18
you know, like sometimes we're Co stars, guest stars and then
4:21
sometimes the bigger people in the shows.
4:23
It's a good way to kind of start up a conversation and it's good
4:27
insight for somebody, you know, that's new to this so.
4:31
Yeah, and to kind of like not even like, yeah, even what is it
4:37
level the playing field where it's like, oh, if I'm working
4:41
with somebody who like maybe I'm nervous to work opposite of,
4:47
then it's like, oh, we can kind of start here and like.
4:52
Because kids will definitely humble you regardless of where
4:55
your status is at. They don't care who you are.
4:58
Yeah, you're just mom and dad to them.
5:00
Yeah, they should. But so your son is pretty young.
5:05
And how old is he? He's 11 months.
5:08
He's going to be, we're planning his first birthday right now.
5:10
So that's the biggest stress in our life.
5:12
We're overshooting it with a big party.
5:15
Well, the first one is definitely for the parents,
5:17
actually the first fewer for the.
5:18
Parents 100% yeah. Then he'll start choosing what
5:21
what kind of party he wants. But he's about to he's about a
5:24
week away from being one. Yeah. 1 going on 15 already has
5:30
attitude. Love it.
5:34
He might be an actor himself then if maybe, Yeah.
5:37
But yeah, I feel like after the year mark, you can not that
5:42
anything necessarily gets easier.
5:44
I mean, some things do, some things don't.
5:46
But then it's like you can at least take a breath.
5:49
It's like we made it through the first year.
5:52
You know, you, you've gotten through the like frag, like the
5:58
more fragile parts. Absolutely, Absolutely.
6:02
It's funny, I was just hearing a doctor talk about that, how his
6:05
favorite part of the job as a pediatrician is like the first
6:07
month, it's like the parents are like, what is this?
6:10
What is this? What is this?
6:11
And by the first year, he's like, they got it.
6:13
They're they're they're they're seasoned.
6:15
Yeah. So it's nice.
6:17
Yeah, it's funny to think of like the things you you think
6:20
you know ahead of time. What did you think, like had you
6:25
and your wife? What's your wife's name?
6:29
Hey did you guys like always know you wanted kids or were you
6:35
no for? This absolutely.
6:37
We were actually the couple that people thought like you're
6:40
they're never gonna have kids. Oh, interesting.
6:42
Yeah, I, I have a lot of experience with kids.
6:46
My little brother has three and we helped raise those those
6:49
babies. We lived together through all of
6:51
them. So I had plenty of experience
6:53
from baby to teenager. You know, she didn't have as
6:58
much experience with, with the babies.
6:59
I come from a much bigger family, but you know, we're both
7:03
creative. She's like loves her job as
7:06
well. You know, we're both kind of
7:08
there and we were kind of what they say, the dual income, no
7:12
kids, DINK, whatever they call it.
7:15
And it was nice. So people, you know, we always,
7:17
it wasn't something that we, that we necessarily like needed.
7:22
Well, now it's funny, it's looking in retrospect.
7:25
I'm like, Oh my God, I can't even relate to myself.
7:27
And so it's so amazing. And there's so much that I wish
7:30
that I, that I knew. However, I don't think that it's
7:34
something, I think that's kind of why we were able to be the
7:38
type of parents that we are, right?
7:39
Because it wasn't some, we were like two complete people that
7:43
then a kid comes into our life and, and I'm, I'm an adult.
7:46
We're ready for it. And it changed our life for the
7:49
better, you know, But but it wasn't like I want to have kids
7:53
grow, you know what I mean? And I had so many kids around
7:57
me. I was like, I'll be Uncle life
7:58
forever, you know? Right.
8:00
Yeah, that's so interesting because you, you and your wife
8:03
kind of have the less standard roles 'cause she, you know, like
8:10
you said, you were around kids more often and she's the one,
8:15
you're an actor, so obviously you're more of the quote UN
8:20
quote, stay at home dad. But she has like, for a lack of
8:24
a better term, like a. Real job.
8:28
I know I always try to find like a different way to say it, a
8:31
steady. Yeah, much more steady.
8:34
We're super lucky that she gets to work from home like the like
8:39
4 days of the week. She's an event producer, so like
8:42
right now she has a choice to go to the office or at home's
8:45
office, which is getting a little more difficult with the
8:47
baby knowing like mom's in there though, right?
8:50
So it's he kind of the baby gets Ronan gets the best of both
8:55
worlds, kind of like 2 stay at home parents.
8:57
So when I have an audition, we kind of maneuver through it, but
9:01
she's more steady with her hours.
9:03
So as you probably see online, I'm doing my auditions like 9 at
9:08
night to midnight. But you know, I'm grateful
9:11
because I get to spend the time with with the baby.
9:15
And funny enough, that's how my dad was as well.
9:17
My dad was also creative. So he was, he was at home with
9:20
us. Mom was a teacher, a
9:23
kindergarten teacher. So yeah.
9:26
Oh, that's nice. So you kind of had like growing
9:28
up, you were able to see like, see the creative, like your dad
9:36
be a creative and like, did it seem like, did you always want
9:40
to be an actor? Like, had you always been like,
9:42
kind of? No, I, well, I was always,
9:45
What's funny is that when I became an actor, it started with
9:49
music, actually, and then kind of got into acting.
9:51
My dad went to UCLA to try to go into film school and kind of,
9:56
you know, took a different career path after that.
9:58
But cinema was always part of our life.
10:00
We couldn't watch a movie without digesting it, breaking
10:03
it down and doing things like that.
10:05
Which in retros, I mean, later on, I've helped me so much as an
10:09
actor. But my mom was also a Florico
10:12
dancer, and she would always, you know, make us perform and
10:17
sing. My brother was a drummer.
10:19
I was a shy one. Like, I was the kind of kid
10:21
that's like, go ask that Lady where the bathroom is and I'd be
10:23
hiding under her legs. So when I started performing,
10:26
which I kind of did out of stubbornness, like, oh, I don't
10:28
like that I'm so shy. They were surprised.
10:31
Like what, You're the one that's going to go out there and do
10:35
that. Yeah.
10:36
So, but it was always encouraged.
10:38
You know, my, my parents are creative.
10:39
My dad's an artist. I was named after a painter,
10:41
famous muralist, Mexican muralist.
10:44
So I it was always promoted and encouraged.
10:48
And regardless of what we were doing, my parents supported us
10:51
and, and and that's, you know, the best thing that we could
10:55
have asked for. Yeah, yeah, that's so nice
10:57
because like I, I'm lucky as well with supportive parents who
11:02
never like questioned, oddly never questioned my choice.
11:06
But like there are so many people who kind of have to go
11:09
against mom or dad want me to be a lawyer or a doctor, literally
11:13
else. So that's so nice.
11:16
Then I guess you kind of come from a similar place where I
11:20
would assume you would support if I mean, obviously he's a baby
11:24
he has. A you know what's funny about
11:26
that? It's like the joke is like, Oh
11:28
no, he's going to be an artist like his dad.
11:31
Like everyone's like just try to try to promote him to go do the
11:36
traditional thing if he lands over here.
11:37
And as we know it's not something we can help it.
11:39
So it's like as much as I he's going to be what he wants to be,
11:44
but he is saying, you know, it is an interesting thing.
11:47
I mean, I literally just submitted a stay at home skit of
11:51
if Prince was a dad and I'm like full eyeliner purple thing and
11:57
he's watching me. So it's like, what is that going
11:59
to do to him? I don't know.
12:01
You know, he's he's in all my videos and you know, it's great.
12:08
No, that's so nice that like that he'll get to that he gets
12:12
to see you do all the fun things and and be creative because you
12:18
know, as you know, it's it's so nice to see your parents like do
12:25
kind of what they want to do, or, you know, at least see the
12:29
joy that it sparks for them, and that's kind of what it's all
12:33
about. Wow, that's so interesting that
12:35
you're going back to so that your wife's can work from home
12:41
to and so I bet there's a lot of juggling with that in in the
12:47
House of like if you have an audition and like can she Cuz is
12:54
she flexible either where you're like, I have an audition, can
12:57
you? She's pretty, she's pretty
12:59
flexible, but we are extremely lucky to have three sets of full
13:06
time grandparents. So like right now he's with
13:10
grandpa at the park, right? So my mom's retired.
13:14
Her mom's retired as well. Her dad's, you know, works as
13:18
much as I guess he wants in that case.
13:21
But he's the first born on that side, on my side.
13:24
He's like, you know, there's fourth.
13:27
Yeah, but we're so lucky with that because.
13:32
And I also have my my brothers who, you know, will step in if
13:36
they need to. So we're, I can't even lie and
13:39
be like, we're so lucky with that.
13:41
You know, he's spoiled it. Like we said it truly.
13:43
I always promote like ideally you have a village, right?
13:47
I know some people specially online, like you say something
13:50
like that. And it's like if someone did it
13:51
alone, it's not to discredit what they're doing.
13:54
It's just ideal versus what's possible is different.
13:57
And for me, it's like, yeah, if you have grandparents around,
14:02
it's it's amazing because like right now I have an audition
14:05
tonight and then we juggle. So my wife's like, all right,
14:09
you have a Zoom, I'll go to the office.
14:11
Grandpa comes, then I'll watch him till like 6 and then she'll
14:16
take over and now I'll head over to my brother who's also a
14:19
director, which helps, and he'll help me shoot the audition so.
14:22
Oh, that's so nice. Oh, we got a whole village going
14:26
for you. This is.
14:27
Great. Yeah.
14:28
I'm, I'm lucky. I can't.
14:29
I can't. I cannot lie and say it's like
14:32
I'm doing this by myself. It's like I'm extremely lucky
14:35
about that. And you know it.
14:37
It's all. It was also a family.
14:40
My family's been promoting that since before I was born.
14:43
You know, like I grew, I was born into a commune for all
14:48
intents and purposes. So yeah, you know, like.
14:52
Well, yeah, it's so hard cuz you know.
14:55
Are you? So then I assume you're
14:57
originally from out, you from here?
15:00
Or yeah, born and raised in LA, which is funny.
15:02
They call us the unicorns on set.
15:04
Like your unicorns. Like, what do you mean Unicorn?
15:05
And it means you're born, you're from here doing entertainment.
15:09
Yeah, yeah, yeah, It's all of it.
15:12
It's like you're from here. You're also doing it.
15:14
Yeah. Stayed here.
15:16
Yeah. It's there's not a lot of you.
15:18
It's great. But that yeah, that's so nice
15:21
having grandparents and your brother helping you out with
15:26
auditions too. That's amazing.
15:28
Do you, do you feel like having a baby like changed your, your
15:36
creative like your relationship to, to to acting like did change
15:44
like did you ever think like, like, how am I going to do this?
15:49
Do I still want to do it? Were there any of those?
15:53
Well, I like, like, I would definitely start off by saying
15:56
like, especially what I learned and grateful to ours.
15:59
Like children are not dream killers.
16:01
They're rocket fuel, right, And that's kind of was my biggest
16:05
surprise was like how motivated I am with that, with that, with
16:10
that baby, right, doing it for him for the reason that you
16:12
said, right, where I think we have the advantage of being a
16:15
little older as parents. So sit down when when we wanted
16:19
to have a child and go, what kind of parents do we want to be
16:23
and do the research beforehand and knowing like I want to be
16:26
the type of parent that goes for the dream, right?
16:28
Like that goes for that. And lucky enough to be able to
16:32
be already surviving with that. If I was 10 years ago, I, I
16:35
don't know, might have freaked me out a little bit.
16:38
But what the biggest surprise on that and that change to answer
16:43
your question is kind of the the the void that we have as artists
16:49
that makes us go for it was filled.
16:52
So it's like I was out. I had this hunger of like
16:54
performing and like this dream, for example, I just had a dream
16:58
job in Japan working on a video game.
16:59
And I was just like, I want to be home.
17:01
Like I'm gonna I had to turn it down because I was like, I can't
17:04
miss weeks at a time during the first year, you know?
17:08
And I would have never thought I would do something like that.
17:11
And it wasn't because the kid, it was because I wanted to,
17:14
right? So in that sense, I didn't
17:16
really, I don't really need acting as much emotionally.
17:21
So it's helped me in auditions to just let it go, just just
17:23
perform. It's like my heart's full.
17:26
I actually don't even want to be on set right now because maybe a
17:29
year and I've I've managed to do better that way.
17:33
So it's kind of helped me be free from the, I guess the
17:38
squeeze that we put on the on it, right?
17:40
Which casting could feel the desperation, I guess to, to, to,
17:43
to need this for validation or, I don't know, whatever, whatever
17:47
we do as artists, right, whatever.
17:49
All the reasons we do. Yeah.
17:52
All the money. But yeah, that is once you
17:56
become a parent and it's kind of like like you said, you're like,
18:00
I don't not that we don't want to be on set.
18:02
But then it's like, oh, when it comes along, it is like, oh,
18:05
wait, now I have to yeah, like miss out on something or
18:10
rearrange at the very least. Rearrange thing for sure.
18:18
Did Have you always have you always made basic major living
18:24
off of acting or is there like do you have a survival job?
18:28
Is there? I've always done it primarily
18:31
some form of like independent, right?
18:33
So like, it's funny, we grew up, I grew up in a household.
18:36
Like I said, it was like a, a little commune.
18:39
It was like teachers like from PhDs, whatever.
18:43
So we didn't even have summers. It was like summer school in
18:45
there. So, you know, we were expected
18:48
to like go graduate, do the thing.
18:50
I'm the middle child. My brother went to UCLA.
18:53
I'm the one that ended up like I'm going to go do music because
18:56
I was, I was like I could go back to it.
18:58
So since then I was a personal trainer but making music and I
19:02
never worked for a gym. I did it independently.
19:05
Then I was I did that for about 5 years and then catering and
19:10
bartending the last few years. And then it was really like the
19:14
last two years where I went full time with acting because I was
19:17
lucky enough with residuals and booking.
19:19
Now the industries all over the place, who knows what's gonna
19:23
happen? But yeah, I've always, I've
19:25
always tried to go all in and then take little independent
19:29
jobs here and there, like mainly personal training and something
19:35
like bartending, just cuz it still gives me the flexibility.
19:38
And you know, I feel like I could, I don't know, I feel like
19:43
I could go all in on it. And it definitely helps to have
19:47
a partner, like I said, right? Like.
19:49
Yeah. You know.
19:50
Yeah, the support system is definitely key.
19:52
Yeah, it's easy. I mean, for actors, if if
19:58
you're, you know, job to job or, you know, having to have a
20:02
survival job, having the flexibility of like, you know,
20:06
something like personal training or, you know, where you kind of
20:09
make your own schedule is key. Like, I don't know, because
20:12
there are people who have like. Like set jobs and acting and I'm
20:18
like how? Do you?
20:20
Yeah, it's it's amazing do. You know that like it's it's
20:24
it's wild. Are there So since you are in
20:26
the first, the first year of it, and I'm sure you know,
20:30
obviously, you know, having a baby kind of blows up your life
20:34
and then it also changes your relationship with your partner.
20:38
Have you found, are there any like things that you guys that
20:43
you and your wife do to like stay connected?
20:46
Because I feel like that's also been a hard, that's a hard thing
20:50
for yeah couples because you're like, yeah, we know each other
20:53
as partners and as. Yeah.
20:57
A couple but not as parents now. So are there like, are you doing
21:02
like date nights or like how do you stay connected?
21:09
Yeah, definitely. I would, I would say the rituals
21:13
of the day, like we're trying to be like certain sacred rituals
21:17
in the day, which is like wake up, go for a morning walk
21:21
together, drink the coffee together.
21:23
That kind of helps us connect a lot, definitely.
21:26
And then at night, which for us by sacred, I mean like no
21:29
phones, right? Like morning time.
21:32
Yeah, morning time has been amazing, where it's like, in an
21:36
ideal day, like sometimes things get scrambled, but, you know,
21:38
she could start at 9:00. So if we wake up early, then we,
21:44
you know, take that morning breakfast together, take that
21:47
little lap around the block together, and then, OK, check
21:50
in. I'll see you at night.
21:52
And then once the baby sleeps from like, 8 to 10, we either
21:55
talk or we end up just talking about the baby the whole time,
21:58
which is absolutely ridiculous. Like, like, I miss him.
22:01
He's asleep, but you know, or we watch or we watch a show, which
22:06
is mainly the way we bond and that kind of keeps us and then
22:09
mandatory, which is funny. The moms have the both divorced
22:14
moms is something that they have mandatory requirement.
22:19
It's like you need a date night a week.
22:20
Like focus on the marriage. The baby will be fine.
22:23
Like the best thing you can give the baby is love between each
22:25
other because, you know, you don't want to end up one day
22:29
getting to the point where you're like, my whole identity
22:32
is a parent. I don't even know if that's good
22:34
for the kid to begin with. And then also it's like, you
22:37
don't want to revisit like, man, I haven't been in a relationship
22:40
for 20 years now. The kids out the house.
22:42
It's like, we could do it, you know?
22:44
And the perspective that's helped is like, we're also
22:46
teaching him what a relationship is.
22:49
So he's supportive for him to see those things, you know, that
22:52
mom and dad are hanging out together.
22:54
You know that this is adult time, you know, and and that's
22:59
helped a lot because if not, yeah, you get, you know, you get
23:02
stuck in the in the wheel and the tired and.
23:06
Yeah, well, and like you said, like it's you can if you're only
23:11
focusing on your kid and like being separate and just like the
23:15
daily, you know, because things can become like mundane and very
23:18
like, did you pick this up? Did you do this?
23:20
And it can easily become like a a roommate Co parent.
23:26
For. Sure situation easily so that's
23:28
nice that like especially the divorced moms are giving you the
23:33
like hey heads up this is what but let's yeah that's.
23:39
That if I could add one thing, it's just it's funny.
23:42
I don't know for you, because as an actor we step into roles,
23:45
right? And then what's funny is that
23:47
the best performances are when it becomes kind of real, right?
23:51
Like the real, the, the, the role is just like the template
23:54
that allows you to be free. And a lot of times you're
23:58
stepping into the role of a father and you're also in the
24:00
role of a husband. And a lot of times you forget
24:03
that's a role, though. And there's little things that
24:05
you got to, you got to do. And in retrospect, it becomes
24:09
genuine, right? And for me, a lot of that has to
24:11
do with romanticizing those things.
24:13
Like especially as a man, right? The stereotype.
24:16
It's easy to be like, Whoa, my sexy wife was like, blah, blah.
24:20
Now she's a mom and and it's like for me, you have to see it
24:23
as like the all the parenting Knicks knacks is also sexy.
24:27
You know, it's also romantic. Like it's like shift the
24:31
perspective, just like with us as actors, like you got to
24:34
romanticize the audition. If now you're going to go,
24:36
you're going to you're going to dull the the moment you know,
24:40
you can't focus on certain things.
24:42
It's like, no, I got an audition.
24:43
This is my chance to perform. This is, you know, same thing.
24:47
Yeah, no, that's, I like that idea of romanticizing the
24:52
things. I mean, 'cause you kind of have
24:53
to do that to your own life, right?
24:56
Absolutely, yeah. That's so smart.
25:00
Going back to when you say you turned down a big job to be at
25:06
home with your son, Are there certain things that like you
25:10
look for when as soon as an audition comes in, are there
25:14
things that you look for that you're like, yes or no?
25:17
Like is it, is it the time away? Is it the, the project itself?
25:24
Is it the paycheck? Like what is it that?
25:28
Yeah, I to be honest, I wish we could be at the point where it's
25:32
like for us, it's like I cross the bridge when I get there.
25:35
It's like right now I have something that if I get it, it's
25:37
in Alabama for four weeks. But it's not like if we were at
25:40
the offer level, like a bunch of scripts on my table, I would
25:43
probably be more regiment. But now it's like I got to go
25:46
for everything. And then if it hits, I'm like,
25:48
wait, I I can't be in Alabama for four weeks maybe, or maybe I
25:51
can, I don't know, let me call the grandparents in that.
25:55
And then it would depend on money, right?
25:57
So if it's, it's a checks and balance of like, is this worth
26:01
the time away, right. Sometimes it's more expensive
26:04
to, you know, have babysitter or something, you know, So in that
26:11
sense, it's really the distance like Tokyo was too far.
26:15
It was even if it was like good money, you know, I was like,
26:20
man, this is especially his first year.
26:22
I was like, this is too hard. Once he's in school and I could
26:25
maybe, you know, who cares if he's if set maybe times of his
26:28
school, but right now it's like a week, a week away.
26:32
I'm like this is a different child when I come.
26:34
Home well, and it's also it's important that you know, like
26:37
what you're not going to compromise on, but it's smart to
26:41
be like, 'cause most actors are not in the position, like you
26:45
said, of having their choice of jobs, but that's smart to do.
26:52
I, I do a similar thing where it's like, I'm not going to say
26:54
no to the audition, but if it comes back, then maybe we can
26:58
figure out. And, and other people that I've
27:01
talked to also who've been offered things further away.
27:06
They're like, what, what it I think it was Tiffany Cox was
27:10
saying, like ask for everything, everything but the kitchen sink.
27:15
Is that what the saying? Yeah, yeah, definitely.
27:17
It's like all they can say is no.
27:20
Yeah. And you know, then it is.
27:23
That's one thing I've learned from.
27:25
I always, you know, try to get some wisdom.
27:26
If I'm not doing a role with like, a bigger actor and they're
27:30
like, everything in Hollywood could be negotiated now, am I in
27:33
the position to get that negotiation?
27:35
I don't know. I did a, for example, I before
27:37
that my son was born, this concern was with my dog, which
27:41
is funny, which I treated like my child.
27:43
And I was in Oklahoma for six weeks and one of the PAS was
27:46
like, why didn't you bring your dog?
27:47
I'm like, I didn't even know I could bring my dog.
27:49
They're like, yeah, they would have paid for daily housing,
27:52
like for your dog. I'm like, what?
27:53
What? Don't tell me that.
27:55
Don't tell me that now I've been gone for five weeks, you know,
27:59
So like I said, though, we're lucky with the grandparents that
28:04
I guess if my wife was OK with it, she could come with for a
28:07
little bit if, if the project is is mobile or my mom could come
28:11
with me if I have to take the baby, you know.
28:14
But yeah, we'll cross that road when we get there.
28:17
I get a. Pack and play.
28:19
Yeah, like have it, you know, the first time I was on Matlock,
28:23
one of the leads had a baby in between sets.
28:26
It was the first time I had ever seen somebody, like, cut like,
28:30
oh, with his wife and the baby and then, you know, use one of
28:33
the leads. So he had a trailer.
28:34
She was in there all day at lunch.
28:36
Baby was there. And I was like, dude, that's OK.
28:39
I didn't know that I could do that.
28:41
You know, I didn't, you know, that I didn't know that this was
28:44
a possibility. Now that's something I'm
28:46
striving for. Like, let me bring my baby on
28:48
set. That would be amazing.
28:49
Yeah, I think when, when we were on set for Duncan's, I think
28:54
there were like at least at least 2.
28:58
Oh yeah, it was parent day that day.
28:59
Yeah, there were at least two kids that were.
29:01
I think it was even, I think it was crew people, but yeah.
29:06
And they have on Paramount, for example, they have daycare
29:10
because it's not just the, you know, it's not just the actors.
29:13
It's like all the office people. They have like a cool, like a
29:17
like daycare thing. I'm like, oh, oh, OK.
29:19
I don't know why we were so afraid as creatives to have
29:23
children, you know? Yeah.
29:26
Yeah, right. It's it's, I feel like it's
29:28
definitely the the beforehand like the fear of like what is
29:36
this going to do to my career? Like am I going to have to stop
29:42
acting or like it take the 9:00 to 5:00 job or what am I going
29:45
to do? And like, if you want to have a
29:48
family, that's like, you just have to live your life also.
29:55
Yeah, absolutely. You know, we, we, we have to
29:58
want it so bad that everything seems so precious, but it's like
30:02
we'll still be acting in five years and we could come back.
30:05
But that first five years with the kid, it's like, boom, I
30:08
learned that from being an uncle.
30:09
Like where did that baby go? You know, it's like, oh, those
30:12
precious first four or five years.
30:15
And it's like, I have to always remind myself like, this is the
30:19
priority because this goes by fast.
30:21
Life's long, but this is a very quick little period.
30:25
Yeah, it's really wild and like so the most cliche to be like
30:31
don't blink when you're a new parent.
30:34
But it's so true. And I feel like it's there's no
30:40
way to describe it until like without just saying just don't
30:43
blink because now my daughter's 3 1/2 and I'm like, I didn't
30:48
even think I did blink and then. And you only have one.
30:52
Yeah, I have the one and I'm like how?
30:54
Where? How?
30:56
Are you? And it's funny because you, when
30:58
you, you know, see them every day, it's hard to Oh yeah, see
31:03
how much they're changing, especially in like size and all
31:07
these things. But then it's like, oh, you, you
31:10
know when they go to bed and you're looking at the videos of
31:13
them when they were. Yeah, like where's the little
31:15
potato? Yeah, you.
31:16
Like water? That's so.
31:18
So crazy. So you're sharing a lot on
31:23
Instagram and it's so fun to watch.
31:25
Like actually you have like very informative, well thought out
31:30
things that you share, which I love.
31:34
But how did you what inspired you to like, share your?
31:39
Parenting content on on social. Yeah OK, I need to pause to talk
31:44
about Olive in June for a second because they've added so much
31:48
lately and I'm honestly obsessed with it.
31:51
I personally love the Gel Manny system because it lasts up to 21
31:55
days and actually looks like I went to a salon, but I did it at
31:59
home after bedtime in sweatpants.
32:01
I'm also obsessed with their press ONS.
32:03
They are my lifesaver when I need to look put together fast
32:07
and don't have time to sit down and do a full manicure.
32:11
But what I love is how much new stuff they have now.
32:15
Gel builder, gel press ONS, even press ONS for tweens.
32:19
And I am not kidding. I cannot wait to start doing
32:23
nails with May when she gets a little bit older.
32:25
It just feels like one of those really fun little mom and
32:28
daughter things that I'm so excited about.
32:32
They're different designs of their nails are so cute.
32:38
Mae is already obsessed with looking at my nails and I can't
32:42
wait to share that with her. It's one of the small things
32:45
that just makes me feel more put together without adding another
32:50
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32:57
That's OLIVEANDJ une.com slash MOMMYWOOD for 20% off your first
33:07
system. Well, to be honest, like because
33:12
of the way that the social media and being an independent
33:16
creative have been like a, it's been connected whether we like
33:23
it or not. I started with music and
33:25
personal training. So I was always kind of
33:27
documenting my life in a creative way.
33:30
And once the baby came along and you know, we, we were like, he's
33:34
with me all the time. It's just the chapter that I'm
33:37
on right now. So it felt like he's with me and
33:40
it's easier to have him, which is why the content's more about
33:43
me. He just happens to be there.
33:45
You know, it's not so much about like the baby then it, you know,
33:51
like it's just the phase that I'm in right now as a parent and
33:55
kind of nothing changed, right? Like I was, I was documenting
33:57
myself as a musician, promoting as a trainer, as an actor, and
34:00
now I'm an actor dad. So yeah, it's kind of like the
34:04
season that I'm on. Yeah, it's like it's.
34:07
This is my life. It's coming.
34:09
Now, but, but the first time I saw something I wanted to try,
34:13
which was the, the, the om video where he goes to sleep and that
34:18
blew like I had never gone viral before, right?
34:21
And it got 17 million views like so fast.
34:25
I, I, I jumped to like 10,000 followers, which at first I was
34:28
just posting is like my family and my friends are watching me.
34:32
So, you know, and then the, the outreach of parents, especially
34:35
dads, like, dude, that's amazing to see you, especially Latino
34:38
dads, which in our we're not definitely a new generation
34:41
here. It was inspiring.
34:44
And then I always like to be informal and I didn't want to
34:48
be, I didn't want people coming after me.
34:51
So I'm like, let me do something with research and back up my
34:53
research and post it. And it's also an excuse for me
34:56
to learn, like I'm learning. So if I'm helping parents, then
35:01
let's do it together, you know, and that kind of.
35:04
Nice, because I feel like you don't see as many dads sharing
35:12
sharing or maybe that's just my algorithm, but it seems like
35:15
there are, I mean, hopefully there are now, but it is nice to
35:20
see like dads sharing without like no offense to any dads or
35:28
any stay at home dads, but without them being like this is
35:33
like, I can't think of the word, but like putting themselves on a
35:36
pedestal because they're a dad, not a mom doing it.
35:39
Absolutely. Yeah.
35:40
Yeah. Well, what's funny is like, I'm
35:42
not doing, moms have been doing this without the credit forever,
35:46
right? And it is funny where it's like
35:48
I'm at the park and the moms are like, oh, my God.
35:50
And it's like, hey, one is changing.
35:52
But it's like I can't get applauded at a higher rate for
35:55
this equal thing that a mom does every day, right?
35:58
It's like I'm not trying to present myself that way.
36:01
It's just, it's also, you know, a little being a little
36:06
purposeful with the fact that it's like I am a masculine dad
36:10
and like, you know, but I'm an artist.
36:12
Like I said, I just did a video with eyeliner on as friends.
36:15
Like I'm a actor, you know, so I don't really trip on a lot of
36:18
that stuff and the and the roles and things like that.
36:22
You know, you have parent, you have people that will feel like
36:24
emasculated or blah, blah, blah. And it's just like for me, OK,
36:29
it with more reason. I'm like, I'm confident in who I
36:32
am and how I am. And this is, this isn't a gender
36:35
role. It's just a role of taking care
36:37
of a baby. Like if you're taking care of a
36:39
baby, certain your mind's going to work in certain ways.
36:44
You know, you're going to be a little more on edge.
36:46
You're going to be cleaning up, you're going to be worried about
36:49
what he eats. You're going to be, it's going
36:51
to change you, right? And realizing like, oh, this
36:53
isn't a mom thing, even though, you know, it's been a
36:56
traditional role. It's just a caretaker thing, and
37:01
I felt like that's important to tell the world, you know?
37:04
Yeah, well, has since you've been sharing, you know,
37:10
parenting stuff and your, your, you know, journey as a dad, I'm
37:15
becoming a dad and all of this has have you, has anything like
37:20
changed about how you think about fatherhood?
37:23
Like has the the online presence of it or has that changed
37:31
anything? I could gladly, yes.
37:34
Personally and professionally, because I'm sure like you said,
37:37
you went viral and you had this like jump too.
37:40
And has that changed anything for you?
37:42
Like. Well, luckily, no, in that sense
37:46
where like I was doing it for the reasons that I wanted to do
37:49
it before and I will continue to do that regardless of what
37:53
comes, right. It's always like safety first
37:56
part party of the kids making it about me.
37:59
You know, he just happens to be in my life, you know, following
38:04
safety and stuff like that always with, with viral.
38:07
So with that, I, you know, we, we try to stay safe with when we
38:11
post about what we post and things like that.
38:13
But as far as being a father, I, I don't think it's changed
38:16
because I don't really allow it in.
38:20
And I'm not very concerned with that, with what people are
38:23
thinking about it in that sense. And like I said, I kinda came in
38:28
with an approach to it which I didn't want to change, you know,
38:35
because if you start performing for the camera, just like, just
38:38
like an actor, you know, it's like we can't go in there trying
38:41
to please casting. It's like this is our time, like
38:44
it or not. Yeah, and I'm sure your audience
38:47
like your followers and stuff it, they appreciate you being
38:51
you and that's why they're mocking you.
38:57
And that's changed too, right? Like Instagram used to be very
38:59
polished place for people. And now you kind of get punished
39:03
for a lack of authenticity. So like they say, talk to
39:06
somebody like like you're talking on FaceTime.
39:08
And if you're, if you create a persona, you're going to get
39:11
exhausted because then you're performing everyday, which is
39:14
like, all right, I'm free. Then I just get to be me and
39:17
doesn't, doesn't weigh on me, you know, to be like, Oh God, I
39:20
got to got to perform this neurotic character or something
39:25
all the time. So yeah, it's been, it's been
39:28
good. Yeah.
39:29
Has there been any, like maybe you already answered this,
39:35
sorry, but has there been any like have like your reps or
39:41
anything talked or have you talked to them about like
39:47
because now you have more of like a presence on?
39:51
Yeah. And like you said, it's like
39:53
whether we like it or not, that can make a difference in Yeah.
39:59
As an actor did. That come up for you at all yet?
40:03
Definitely on two on two fronts. On one side, you know, it's kind
40:07
of like understanding that it's right now it's like currency
40:11
views are currency, whether we like it or not.
40:14
And it's amazing to see other creatives go from like silly
40:18
TikTok videos like to like being on SNL, you know, and, and it's
40:23
just because it's an audience and people are not trusting the
40:25
person more than the the product, if that makes sense.
40:29
So I've recently had a conversation like, can we pitch
40:33
as like some dad roles? But to show that this is going
40:37
to come with an audience, Like it sucks that it's at a point,
40:40
you know, I was on the other side of that just last year
40:42
where it's like a casting for commercials asking for how many
40:46
followers you have. And it's like, it should not be
40:49
that way at all. But if it's going in that
40:52
direction, like, what am I going to, what am I going to do?
40:55
Might as well leverage it for that, which I wasn't really
40:59
thinking about that. And then just the nature of
41:01
commercials, as you may have seen, are starting to change.
41:03
So it's like if I do a, which has already happened, like if I
41:07
do a commercial through SAG, right, they might pay me a day's
41:12
rate. That's not going to show on the
41:13
Internet. I could, because I have
41:15
followers now go into the direct company and go, I will do a UGC
41:21
user generated content and I get more views.
41:24
I'll show you the algorithm. You get more direct views, more
41:26
clicks to purchase, pay me directly, right?
41:30
So agents haven't even necessarily now they're starting
41:33
to sign you. That's part of the package,
41:36
right. So I was trying to be open, you
41:38
know, like with my agents, like, OK, if, if you guys are, do you
41:42
guys have a, a sector of of your agency for this yet?
41:45
If not, I'm I'm going to do it independence.
41:47
So it's freed me from having to worry about commercials on that
41:52
end. Still doing it just like I said
41:53
for the for the management stuff, but it's freed me from
41:58
needing a, it's like a step in into the new direction, which is
42:03
gonna be direct person to commercial, yeah.
42:09
Yeah. It's like, like you said, you
42:11
kind of as actors, as independent, We're our own
42:15
business. You have to use use what you
42:18
got. Yeah, which is weird.
42:21
It's like OK, I guess. But, you know, we're all, we're
42:24
all doing it. It's just part of like, you
42:26
know, the game and the business of it.
42:29
So, yeah, whatever can help, you got to use it, especially as a
42:34
parent where it's like, you know, as long as you don't, you
42:38
know, we're not selling our souls here.
42:40
As long as, like, you're doing something that like, you know,
42:45
you got to pay the bills at the end of the day where it's like,
42:50
yeah. And, and what's crazy is that it
42:53
kind of frees you more from selling your soul because it's
42:55
like if I'm getting paid per view for something I want to do,
42:58
which side note, all that I have started to monetize and that's
43:03
now his education fund. So it's like, I don't take any
43:07
of that. It's like I'm going to put it
43:08
away. And because you're in my video.
43:12
Yeah, it's yours. He's a paid worker.
43:15
He's a yeah, yeah. It's yours, you know, which is
43:19
funny. Now there's going to be laws
43:20
about that type of stuff depending on certain states.
43:22
If you're showing your kid online and and monetizing.
43:25
I mean, that makes sense. Yeah.
43:27
Yeah. But for me, I'm like, oh, let's
43:30
just, you know, take, take that. And hopefully by the time
43:33
you're, I don't know, in high school, it's like, hey, this is
43:37
your baby money. Yeah, that's smart.
43:40
You're already on like the good parenting, so you're good.
43:47
That's so funny. Yeah, that's interesting.
43:51
And I, I hadn't thought about that, but that does make sense
43:54
that that would eventually because I'm I'm surprised it's
43:58
actually not a lot. I'm sure they're like working on
44:01
it. I think it isn't certain states,
44:04
but it's listen, it's so easy that it's like, if you're
44:08
talking about let me just make money.
44:10
People love, love babies. You know, they're cute, like and
44:13
innocent. And it's like if you make a page
44:15
about them, that's why those those pages have millions of
44:18
views. It's like a cute baby dancing,
44:19
whatever those types of videos that I've posted to him, like
44:22
one or two millions of views. And I'm like, OK, you could, you
44:26
could see how easy, if you're not thinking about that, a
44:29
parent's like dance like, and it's like, no, no.
44:31
No, Oh my God, him making the coffee for you.
44:34
See, that's, see, that's something organic where it's
44:37
like he now gets mad at me if he's not doing the coffee, like
44:41
because he saw the new machine and my me and my wife were like,
44:44
well, let's just, let's just let him make it and I'll cut it and
44:46
I'll edit it to be funny. But now this morning, he's like,
44:49
I thought I was. I thought I was making the
44:51
coffee, you know? Wait a second.
44:54
I know what's going on here. Yeah, but how did you stay, stay
45:00
creative and like stay motivated to Because obviously now it's
45:03
kind of like I'm like, oh, I have to, I'm making content.
45:09
And that's like, you know, not necessarily like your full time
45:13
job, but if it's making income too, it's like, how do you stay
45:18
motivated and creative to share the content?
45:25
I would say it's because I have ADD.
45:28
No, I'm just kidding. How far of it in the sense of
45:32
like nothing, like I said, nothing changed.
45:34
It just so happens that now I have more eyes on it.
45:36
I've always been doing this since like the Myspace days.
45:39
Yeah, right. But it is kind of that weird
45:43
feeling of why I'm an actor. Like I like, it feels like
45:46
performing, you know? That's why with the research
45:49
ones, I forced myself to memorize the three minutes like
45:51
a monologue. Cuz I'm like, how am I gonna
45:54
practice staying sharp? And you know, the first couple
45:58
weeks with the baby, I'm like, I, I can't stay still.
46:01
So I'm like, I need and I'm not on set.
46:03
So it satiates my like I have to do.
46:06
It's not a choice. I'm like, let me just do it.
46:10
I don't like, I tried it separate and it's like I'm
46:13
ignoring the baby. I don't want to ignore the baby.
46:15
So I'm like, all right, buddy, you're you're with me as dad
46:17
does this and he loves it like babysitting on the on the on the
46:21
good go. And and it it just kind of like
46:27
my mind's always in that state. So then it doesn't shut off.
46:32
I guess I can't shut it off. It's my point.
46:34
It's like either writing a song, a poem, editing a video.
46:38
Yeah, my wife walks into some ridiculous things sometimes and
46:43
doesn't even matter. That's nice.
46:45
Then it like doesn't feel like, and then like I'm gonna have to
46:50
make this video or have to do this because, you know, we can
46:55
tell because it never comes off that way.
46:57
So it's nice to know that like, it's like, OK, it it doesn't
47:01
come off that way because you are that way.
47:04
You're enjoying what you're doing.
47:07
I'm glad. Yeah, it's so I hope it doesn't
47:09
get to the point where I'm like, this is that's why I like to
47:12
monetize different parts of my life.
47:14
Like I'll have 10 jobs if I have to because I'm I get I get bored
47:17
like that. Like I don't want to do that.
47:20
Yeah, how do you side cuz like you, you were talking about the
47:25
safety of it and like when they want to post are there and and
47:32
like was there a conversation with your wife about like how
47:36
like. What can we post?
47:37
About him and cuz I know and I I see both sides of it with like
47:44
you know there are people who will not show their kid at all
47:46
and there are people who you know show their kid freely.
47:50
So how did you? How do you decide what's what's?
47:55
Safe. Yeah.
47:56
Well, we, we, we. It was definitely a conversation
47:58
that happened. I think I was all like being a
48:00
lot more like, because, you know, it's my account.
48:03
So I was being a lot more like paranoid about it in that sense.
48:09
And I kind of turned to other people that like the Miss
48:11
Rachels of the world that I was like, OK, what?
48:13
How do they navigate to this? You know, I saw her say
48:16
something about like with her new baby, she's like, he's
48:19
changing so much. I'll revisit, maybe not show him
48:22
when after he's a year old or something, which who knows if
48:25
he's going to even allow it, right?
48:27
He's going to want to grab things.
48:28
That's what I'm saying. It's not about that.
48:30
It's kind of just this is where we're at.
48:32
But we do try to be safe with some some strong rules of like
48:36
don't post in real time, like if I'm at the park, right,
48:40
especially because, you know, people do TuneIn every day.
48:43
You don't know who who's watching and stuff like that.
48:45
For his safety, don't post anything embarrassing about him
48:49
exploitative. Like I don't post him with like
48:52
a dirty diaper or like making fun of him, like he's not the
48:56
butt of the joke. And no personal super personal
49:02
information. Like I said, for me, it's
49:03
something I share what I would tell anyone, not like something
49:06
so personal and I try to still cherish like the moments that
49:11
are just for me and and like my wife, right.
49:13
Like a lot of things like first steps and stuff like yeah, you
49:16
could capture all that, but it's like, no, this is just for us.
49:20
And yeah, like to just to answer that first safety question
49:24
statistically, which is crazy. Like there's a lot of fear out
49:27
in the Internet and stuff, but statistically the dangerous 99.9
49:30
come from people that you know, so it's sucks like.
49:35
The call is coming from inside the house.
49:37
Yeah, it sucks to say that. And, you know, you have to, you
49:40
have to always, you know, be as a parent, like that's your
49:43
number one priority. This is safety.
49:45
But yeah, it's, it's like I I, I also like to believe in the most
49:51
people. It's like this we love humanity.
49:54
We like babies and this we're showing something good.
49:58
You know, it's kind of getting, it's getting bigger than than
50:01
than me at this point. Yeah, exactly where it's like, I
50:04
feel like the fear sometimes there can be like people can
50:10
prey on that fear of it too. And it's like you also have to,
50:15
you can't just like look at your phone and have the fear there.
50:19
It's like you gotta. Every well, I mean, if we're
50:22
talking about our faces as an actor, I'm very out there.
50:26
Yeah, the street cameras, the part like our phones are
50:30
recording like it's, it's to me, it's like a false sense of
50:33
security to to hone in on one thing when it's like, dude,
50:37
everything's tracking us. I guess like, I don't know, it's
50:41
like, yeah, they can. Really like paralyze you it's
50:44
like you got to, you know, compartmentalize a little bit
50:48
yeah. They want to become a parent.
50:50
Like if you're yeah, compartmentalizing is a a skill,
50:55
yeah. You need to have as a as a fear.
50:58
Do you feel like also in in line with that?
51:01
Do you feel like I know you're sharing like yourself and it
51:09
does feel very and it's very authentic, but do you ever, do
51:13
you ever feel the pressure to and it doesn't come off this
51:17
way, but do you ever feel the pressure of making your family,
51:22
you know, like look perfect online or like be that when
51:27
you're like I'm the best dad or like that type of.
51:31
The only pressure that I have, which has only helped is showing
51:37
the house clean. So, you know, it's actually
51:42
forced us to rearrange, you know, like this little breakfast
51:46
nook back here that we put and stuff on the wall like that
51:49
coffee stuff right there. And it's just like, OK, now you
51:52
know, I that's the pressure which I'm like, let's lean into
51:56
that a little bit. So, you know, my wife's like if
51:58
you're going to be showing my house at least at least that
52:01
it's not for. Everybody.
52:03
Yeah, but as far as me like doing my hair all the time and
52:06
matching my clothes all the time, what the times that I try,
52:09
I'm like, this took too long. You know, I, I, you know,
52:12
sometimes I'll even mess up a take or something and I'll leave
52:14
it because I'm like, this has to be real or else he's going to
52:17
get annoyed at me and I'm going to take too much time.
52:21
So it's like you're going to get what you're going to get.
52:23
And that's also part of part of it.
52:25
I think people start kind of having the sense of like, you're
52:28
pretending if you're a little too polished.
52:31
Yeah. And you're.
52:33
I mean, if you have the energy for that, amazing.
52:35
But you're going to get exhausted.
52:37
At least I am like oh God I have been hard enough time getting
52:41
him cute, you know? Like.
52:44
The rule, the rule is on him, though.
52:45
It's like I got to brush his hair or something.
52:47
Like I could I, my hair could be crazy, but I got he's got to be
52:52
presentable because he could get mad at me one day.
52:54
Like why would you show my hair like that?
52:55
Yeah, well, it doesn't take much for him.
52:57
He is a very cute baby, very easy.
53:01
Yeah, that's that's also mentioning like when you're
53:05
doing when you're recording stuff and you're with him.
53:08
That's nice. It sounds like you're able to be
53:11
like, OK, he's not having it. I'm done.
53:15
We're we'll take a break. You're not like no, we're gonna.
53:19
Oh yeah, no, no, it's very strategic.
53:21
And if you see he's always taking a nap, almost have to
53:24
wait. So I wait, you know, I have my
53:26
schedule with him and like 9, like right now we're going to
53:29
the park from like 9:00 to 11:00.
53:31
His nap time's at 11:15-ish so that I'll pick if I'm filming,
53:35
it'll be around like 11. So he's already like, I'm tired,
53:39
I don't want to do this. Like I'm going to sleep on your
53:42
shoulder, you know? And then that's kind of a trick
53:45
for me because he falls asleep with a loud voice.
53:48
So then if I put him down and continue talking, it's not
53:51
abrupt, so I can put him down, run my lines, you know?
53:58
Yeah, he's a Mexican baby. Like my cousin's like, vacuum on
54:01
day one. All right, He needs to be.
54:04
We'll fall asleep at the party like with the music blasting.
54:08
Yeah, that's well. And that's like key for a baby
54:11
because then you can like take him places.
54:13
You can do the things you don't have to worry about, like
54:17
running your lines and things like that.
54:19
So it's. Yeah.
54:20
Smart. Is there any advice that you
54:23
would give? I know you are you give your
54:26
advice on on your socials, but is there any advice that you
54:30
would give to specifically like a new fellow actor dad?
54:36
Any dad I would always say prioritize.
54:40
Like I said, your relationship with your partner and let mom
54:44
rest like a rested mom is a happy mom and a happy life for
54:49
you because as much as we want to do as as dads, you know, mom
54:54
is you had nine months bonding with that baby and, you know,
54:58
feeding the baby. It's like, you know, it's like,
55:00
I'll be with him all day and then mom comes home and he's
55:02
like, all right, I'm going with my mom, you know, so it is that
55:06
because I, you know, feed, feed the, the partnership and it'll
55:12
feed you back. You know, it's like if mom's
55:14
exhausted and you have to do an audition and it's going to
55:18
you're going to run into murky water where for me, I'm like,
55:22
come home, house is clean, baby's fed.
55:25
I got to do an audition. She's like, do you need help?
55:28
You know, instead, instead of like, like, yeah, Oh my God, I
55:33
got to do this and that. So truly it's like focus on
55:36
your, on your, on your partner and you know, it the like any
55:41
good partner, they'll support you back.
55:43
But that helps. And then I would also say be OK
55:49
with the fact that right now, your career's not going to be
55:53
and shouldn't be your priority. You know, even if you make a
55:57
little less money, unless we're at a point where we're like
56:00
super struggling, I understand. But sometimes a little pay cut
56:04
is OK for the sake of time with a kid.
56:07
Because if not you're, you're like in two places at once,
56:10
right? And lastly, I'll just say be
56:13
present. It'll be present because it's,
56:16
it's, it's put that phone away and, and, and lock in.
56:21
You know, it's like the this is an important time.
56:25
Yeah, yeah. You really have to just like
56:28
I've started like you gotta, you gotta put the phone in the other
56:31
room because if they see you on it and I forget who it was, that
56:34
was like saying, you know, it's the same if you go to dinner
56:37
with somebody or you're talking to somebody, they have their
56:39
phone in in their hand. You're not the most important.
56:43
They're like waiting for something or like even
56:45
subconsciously. So if you're doing it, you're a
56:47
kid. And I'm not saying that like I
56:49
am on my phone with her. Like I am not perfect by any
56:52
means, but that is definitely something that like I really try
56:56
to do. And I tell her specific now
56:59
she's older. I'm like, you tell mommy off the
57:01
phone, like, yeah, yeah. And so she'll be like, mommy off
57:05
the phone, please. And I'm like, thank you.
57:06
Yeah. Thank you.
57:07
For. Telling me and I'm never like oh
57:10
but but because I'm never doing anything that important.
57:14
Yeah, exactly. I like to say there's no,
57:15
there's no perfect parents, man. And and I don't try to be a
57:18
perfect parent. I always say like repair is more
57:21
important than than perfection because we're, we're people.
57:24
We're going to mess up. We're going to have an e-mail or
57:28
something. Sometimes I'm playing and I'm
57:31
running lines in my mind, you know?
57:33
Yeah, that's. True, yeah.
57:36
How do you obviously it sounds like you know, and you seem very
57:43
patient and obviously we can see that you're a great dad and like
57:49
you have such a good head on your shoulders and like so in
57:54
what's the word intent about your parenting?
57:57
But like, how do you stay per patient during those hard times?
58:04
Like if he's if, if the house is a mess and the baby's not
58:08
sleeping and all of the things are happening at once, is it
58:11
just like the deep breaths? Do you have to like?
58:16
Definitely breathing. Breathing always helps.
58:19
But once again, I would attribute that I'm lucky to have
58:23
a village and a good partnership, right?
58:26
Which like early on I had to even, you know, as a new parent,
58:30
especially as a new mom, it's going to take me probably 10
58:34
more minutes to put the baby down than you.
58:35
But it was worth it because now with complete trust, there's
58:39
true divide. So if she's at a threshold, I'm
58:41
like, give me that baby, I'll go.
58:43
If I'm about to burst, she's like, give me the baby, I'll go.
58:47
So that helps. Just never tip over.
58:50
You know, I'm never lucky to never be like on a reserve like,
58:53
Oh my God, I'm, I'm running on fumes forever.
58:55
Which to the parents that do it by themselves, like all the
59:00
power that's you're a superstar. That's amazing.
59:03
I could call my mom, be like, mom, like, come help me today,
59:07
you know, come do this. And it also goes back to, I
59:11
would say my childhood, which I had patient parents.
59:13
You know, I, I, you have to know that this is like there's work
59:18
that you need to do on yourself. If not, it's going to go on to
59:21
the kid. So it's like, I'm also teaching
59:24
him how to be patient, right? It's like if I lash out all I'm
59:28
he doesn't understand. He's just gonna understand.
59:31
Like in this moment, you could lash out.
59:32
Yeah, right. And so it's a little bit of both
59:36
upbringing and also the fact that I have somebody to pawn it
59:41
off to if I'm like, I gotta, I need a break, you know?
59:44
So yeah, it is difficult by yourself like.
59:48
Well, I would definitely say any, any new dads, any new mom,
59:52
any new parents like your, your, your content is definitely like
59:58
great. I've I love it and I would I
1:00:03
would share it to the world. I'm going to be sharing your all
1:00:07
of your thank you, your things. I'll tag you and do all the
1:00:11
things. OK, a little rapid fire before I
1:00:15
have to let you go. What has?
1:00:18
Do you have any best baby hack that you've discovered?
1:00:22
The ohm, especially for the early things, which is that that
1:00:25
vibration. To this day I do it.
1:00:28
It was amazing. Suits him and if I'm in a loud
1:00:31
place like the vibration still still makes them focusing on it.
1:00:35
That's been awesome. Like for the dad's baby caring,
1:00:42
it's been the best thing. You could like that like strap,
1:00:45
whether you wrap them traditionally or whatever.
1:00:48
You could clean, you could go for a walk you can do, and that
1:00:51
baby's happy right there. Yeah, yeah, I wish I would have
1:00:55
done that more. I like, we had one and I just
1:00:58
like didn't have a very comfortable 1, so I didn't use
1:01:01
it all that much and I'm now I see that there.
1:01:04
I mean, obviously things are always changing, but I'm like,
1:01:07
oh, there are ones that are like, so like, why didn't I just
1:01:09
give one? It's easy to put on and
1:01:11
especially putting them on your back, which you see, like, this
1:01:14
is what humans have been doing for, like, thousands of years.
1:01:17
You're like, oh, that's why, you know, like, yeah, of course.
1:01:24
And so that, you know, baby hacks like that.
1:01:27
Yeah. Hear the baby walk, walk around
1:01:29
with that baby, take him outside a lot.
1:01:32
What's your most over? What do you think is the most
1:01:34
overrated parenting advice that you that you feel like it's
1:01:39
tossed around as well? To be honest, like sleep
1:01:42
training, like I think it's different for every kid and
1:01:46
different kids are at different stages.
1:01:48
And I think it gives parents a lot of anxiety to try to do it
1:01:52
in a certain way. It's like you could try it, but
1:01:54
it's like there's no secret recipe for that, to be honest,
1:01:58
You know, not to get into the different types of school of
1:02:01
thought on that, but it's just like your baby's going to you're
1:02:05
going to get through it. You're at the end of the year,
1:02:07
that first year. It seems long, but it goes by
1:02:09
fast. It's like you're going to get
1:02:10
through it. I did contact nebs forever just
1:02:13
cause mostly I wanted it. I'm like, I want, I want this, I
1:02:16
want a mommy, you know, and but if you tried it, you know what I
1:02:21
mean? Like overrated in the sense of
1:02:23
this is the secret of anything. And it's like, no, there's no
1:02:27
you're going to figure it out how you how your kid is your kid
1:02:30
and they got their own own path on method.
1:02:34
Like parenting method books I feel like in general.
1:02:39
Yeah, that's what I mean. Kind of like this is the secret
1:02:42
to. Potty training, the method, it's
1:02:45
like, no, they're gonna do cuz both of those things like sleep
1:02:49
training and potty training, I was like, we're gonna follow a
1:02:53
method and like easy for me to say because when we did, we did
1:02:56
our the like fervor method, like sleep.
1:03:00
But I would only say I wouldn't even like recommend it.
1:03:04
I was like it just she did it really quickly.
1:03:08
But like, if she would have been crying for, you know, an hour,
1:03:13
it would not have worked. Like, it just worked.
1:03:15
I would have picked her up and like potty training, I tried to
1:03:18
follow a method. She wasn't ready.
1:03:20
It didn't happen. And then six months later I was
1:03:23
like, let's give it a shot. Whatever.
1:03:26
Again, she was just ready and yeah, so it's like there is no.
1:03:31
That's what I mean. Like it's funny to say my hack
1:03:33
and then that, but I'm like a hack is just like, this works
1:03:36
for me. Yeah.
1:03:37
Like it's so hard for. It's so hard to.
1:03:39
I always feel like having to say like this works for me.
1:03:41
And I wouldn't lie to you. It's not going to work for every
1:03:44
baby, you know. But maybe it will give it.
1:03:46
Maybe I'll just. Yeah, I don't know.
1:03:48
Yeah. What do you think?
1:03:50
What is your favorite part of being a dad?
1:03:52
Like at the end of the day, what's the just your favorite
1:03:55
part? Man.
1:03:57
That's hard. That's hard.
1:04:00
I would just say the appreciation that a kid gives
1:04:03
you for like the perspective that a kid gives you, right?
1:04:07
It's made me appreciate my parents more.
1:04:10
You know, just like, Dang, you get you had to do all this for
1:04:13
me. Like a baby will die in 10
1:04:15
seconds if you, if you take your eyes off of them, you know, it's
1:04:18
like, jeez, OK, you really, if you got to this point and you're
1:04:22
30 years old, somebody cared for you enough to survive, you know,
1:04:26
but now if you had throw on really good parents on top of
1:04:29
that, it's makes me appreciative, makes me
1:04:31
appreciative of my partner, just like the whole incredible, just
1:04:35
like women in general being able to give birth and like grow a
1:04:38
child. It's insane.
1:04:41
You know, it's amazing. And just like the the
1:04:44
fleetingness of time and life, like, whoa, you know, like one
1:04:48
of my good friends said, if you're lucky, you'll experience
1:04:51
the best parts of life three times as a kid, as a parent and
1:04:54
as a grandparent. And I get to see that where it's
1:04:56
like I had a good childhood. I want to give that to him.
1:04:59
And then I see my mom with the grandbabies being so much more
1:05:02
relaxed than she was as a parent, like, oh, just enjoy it.
1:05:06
So it's that, right? It's just the the perspective
1:05:08
that they give and the bridge that they are like it brings the
1:05:12
family together, you know, so for.
1:05:15
Sure, Oh my gosh. Well, this has been such a joy
1:05:20
to talk to you. It's so I also just like love
1:05:24
hearing from dads too, where it's like, and, and it's so nice
1:05:30
that you're sharing this with with people and, and I'll we'll
1:05:36
share your socials as well and all your things so everyone can
1:05:40
find you well. Thank you.
1:05:42
Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for listening
1:05:46
to this episode of Mommy Wood. Now, before you go, if Mommy
1:05:50
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I want to give a huge thank you to my producer and good friend
1:06:27
Cecilia for making Mommy Wood what it is and to Edith Mudge
1:06:32
for the Mommy Wood theme music. As always, thank you for being a
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part of Mommy Wood. Please come be a part of the
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1:06:42
I. Need you to wait with what?