Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: 84 and looking for love?!

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: 84 and looking for love?! · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: After the prank. Stop what you're doing.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous crank call from Darren Wackhead
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: sings ex exclusive to KFM Mornings.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: You know what is that saying? There's a lid for
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Alca Porteta Dex. That's right.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Okay, So you've heard me do the chat line before,
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: and I'm Jennifer a hotline. I'm five foot five, very athletic.
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: So this chat line, let me explain quickly if you've
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: never heard. So there's this number that I dial. It's
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: an American chat line, but it's open to the world,
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: and it's it's connecting lonely hearts all around the world,
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: predominantly Americans. But you phone there and it's not a
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: paid person on the other end to.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Talk dirty to you.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: It's just somebody that's could be in their office, as
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: we've heard before, somebody in there wanting to chat to somebody,
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: and then they see where it goes. Okay, so there's
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: all different configurations of things. But you you start by
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: you leave your advert and then you are the advert yes,
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: and then it gets played to everybody that's in the
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: chat room, and then they will decide if I want
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: to connect with you or not. So when I'm Jennifer
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: the heart Bland, it's one hundred percent hit rate. You know,
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: within a minute, I've got like twelve there are twelve
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: people wanting to chat to you, you know, and then
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: I make them do ridiculous things. I never let it
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: get dirty. I get too ridiculous. Okay, So now Jennifer
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: has a granny.
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: Also looking for like granny mes well, of.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Course, well of course, you know, because her hovey Cyril
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: passed away, you know, a few years ago.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: And she's seen Jennifer's success. So now Beryl is like, well,
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: I do not give it.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: A guy.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: Saying the boat for alkadexel Omar is none. Cotney, what
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: did you say Jennifer's success.
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: I don't know, that's questionable. She's back every other month.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but because you see, Jennifer's got these weird things
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: that she loves, these weird little specific taste as you know,
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: and some things you can see are inherited.
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: Okay, Grannie, I'm scared.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: So now.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: So now I have never ever on this being Jennifer
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: had any rejection all right up front, Wait till you see, Grannie.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: I've never had somebody say oh no, no, no, I'm not
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: interested to talk to you never. Let's see what happens.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we got Welcome to the free chat line for
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: men and women of all lifestyles. Guys, you press one, Ladies,
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: you press two. In just a moment, you'll record a
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: message about yourself. You want all the other callers to hear.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Stand by to record your message.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: Hello, my name is Beryl, and I want to check
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: to some hot young stallions.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: I want to be old cougar.
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: Hilla.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: My name is Beryl and I want to check to
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: some hot young stallions. I want to be your cougar.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Higher to confirm and continue, press three. Excuse me? You
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: have three messages from all the callers here.
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: They are yeskay, whatever.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: You are, you're scary.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry that caller has put you. I ignore. Here's
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: the next guy live on the free chatline.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: I don't know how old you are. You didn't say
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: he's gonna mead.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: It would be like in their forties, so like you're eighty.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Here's the next guy live on the free Chatliney, honey,
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: be ready for me.
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: Disconnect with me. I'm ready for you. Are you ready
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: for me? Connect with me?
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: And let's get going to connect with this caller and
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: wait for a connection, and in the meantime you'll still
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: hear a message. Go ahead, You're connected. When done, dial
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: operator say hello.
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: Hella, hello, hello. Oh I could be a lot better, honey.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, yes, what's your name?
• 4:59
  Speaker 5: My name is ried Rick.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: My name's Beryl.
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: Oh girl, how.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Old are you?
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: Ah?
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: Thirty six?
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Oh you're a young one.
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: What about you me?
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: I'm eighty four.
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: What do you look like?
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I've got gray hair.
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: And oh what do you like?
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Well?
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: I like baking, I like knitting, and I like playing bingo?
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: Oh what's your body like?
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: I still run every day. I mean when people look
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: at me, they think I'm seventy five. They can't believe
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: that I'm eighty four. Oh would you like to get
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: bingo with me? If you know what I mean?
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: Probably?
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: Oh, yes, you're gonna have to call me some numbers.
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: Okay, eleven lucky leg Alonen, I've.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Got that number. Let me let me write that down.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Throw out another one.
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: That was about man of Li five man a.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Love fa goodness me, I've got that too, barely alive.
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: Yes, twenty two two.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: Quack quack, I've got twenty two. Jeff, I'm so close
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: I'm so close. Yes not throw out another number?
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: Are seven?
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Twenty seven almost in heaven?
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: Oh, seven, almost in heaven? Sixty nine?
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Your place or mine?
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: I've got number sixty nine, Jeff, I've got that's.
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: Your play for mine. I'm playing bingo with you.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: Oh me too, lovey me too. Throw out another number
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: eighty eight.
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: Two fat ladies.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, two fat ladies. That's that's right. No, I
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: don't have that one.
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: Oh sixty six.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: Clickity click sixty six, clickity click. No, I don't have
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: that one other. Come on, I need one more for bingo.
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: Sixty three.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: Tickle me sixty three.
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: Three, tickle me sixty three.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Finger? Oh you know what? You know what? Jeff?
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: What?
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: Myrtle in the bed next to me here has just
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: gotten bingo?
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Binger? Myrtle?
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: Yes one there, Yes, yes, Myrtle, my best friend has
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: just shouted binger.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: She got it?
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: Oh really?
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: So what do you get?
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Nothing? She gets you, it seems.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Huh. Do you want to speak to myrtle? Oh okay,
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: let me put myrtle on the line. Myrtle, Jeffrey, Hello, hello, Hello,
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: this is Myrtle.
• 8:39
  Speaker 5: Hi.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Are you I want you? I'm one hundred and four.
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: Oh, I like old ladies.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I've got a few minutes left before I need us
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: the dynamite. That's what is going on.
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: Sure is murtle?
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, you see Myrtle had a long life on Lexington
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: and Gin. Yeah, she's, you know, suffering from the after
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: effects now, but she.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Had a good live.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah she's having a good time still.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: But Rick thirty six, is he.
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: Really is really thirty six?
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: I don't know, but he's also But that's not technically
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: a ben ten, is it. What's the age swing for
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: a ben ten?
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: I think after thirty no one should be referred to
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: as a ben ten.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, alright, alright, well well well we'll see.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: I think maybe Beryl will have another.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: Go at some of the time, maybe a bit of
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: a duo partnership.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: And menagotie with Myrtle. Is that what you said,