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What it's like to love and accompany homeless, pregnant women · Beyond The Beacon

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_04: Welcome to Beyond the Beacon with Bishop Kevin Sweeney, a podcast of the Diocese of Patterson, New Jersey.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_04: Join us for conversations about our Catholic faith, and together let's strive to live a life of faith, hope, and love.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_04: I'm Jay Agnish.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_04: With me is Bishop Kevin Sweeney.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_04: Bishop Kevin, how are you today?
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_04: I'm doing well, Jay.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_04: How are you?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_04: Doing well, thanks.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_04: Uh what's what's new?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_04: Are you you still uh the Yankees still in it?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, yes, what's going on with baseball?
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: They're on a one-game winning streak now.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, there you go.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_03: So um summer just goes too fast.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's crazy.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: Um so um, but trying to make the most of it.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's I love this time of year and um Yeah, you like the hot weather.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_03: I love it, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_04: Like how hot do you like?
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_04: Whatever.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_04: Like what about humidity?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_04: No problem.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_04: Really?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um uh enjoy playing golf in that weather and um I haven't gotten so much opportunity this summer, but uh trying to make up for that maybe before Labor Day.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: So uh but um great to see things happening in the diocese.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um there's been plenty of activity with Jubilee.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um I had a wonderful um opportunity to receive the solemn profession of three Salesian sisters uh this past Tuesday.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um I think I may have mentioned in the last episode, or I also got to visit their summer camp the week before.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_03: They do 101 years they've been doing a summer camp at uh at um Mary Help of Christians uh the motherhouse in North Hambledon so that was great.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and I think uh Joe was there to take photos of the beacon.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_04: Good.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_04: Well uh so want to just introduce our guests and our topic for today.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_04: So all the way uh all the way to the end there is Alyssa Ranavales, is our new respect life coordinator for the Diocese of Patterson.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_03: From her own Jubilee pilgrimage, right?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it was insane.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for the most part, I'm speechless, but there's so much in my heart as well.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh mostly the biggest lie that I saw that society tells us and was so evident there was that the church is dying.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: That is such a lie.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is such a lie, and it's like I was amongst one million youth shoulder to shoulder at this Jubilee of Youth.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_04: You agree.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like the church is very much alive and advocating for life.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_04: So great, great.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_04: And she has a wonderful story of how she came to work for the diocese, but get get to be familiar with that story and get to know Alyssa a little more by going back two episodes when she was a guest on the podcast.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_04: Welcome back.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_04: And uh next to her is Tina Maggiorino, who is the executive director of Birthhaven, an independent, non-sectarian, nonprofit organization that provides shelter, support, and education for homeless, pregnant women, and girls.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_04: Tina is passionate about helping single mothers recognize the barriers they face and overcome obstacles to break the cycle of homelessness.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_04: Birthhaven is located in Newton, New Jersey in Sussex County, and is one of many organizations listed on our Respect Life Ministry webpage as a resource for moms.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_04: So welcome both of you.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_04: Tina, thank you for the invitation.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's been a long time coming.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_03: I've been wanting to uh have this opportunity for some time.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_03: I've heard about the work of Birthhaven, and uh so I'm looking forward to being able to share that with our audience.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_03: So thanks for being here.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: So grateful to be here.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe we'll just begin with a prayer.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: I'll find my glasses here.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um we're gonna pray the uh Jubilee prayer if you want to join.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_03: Um we place ourselves in God's presence, name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: Gather together in prayer in this Jubilee year, this Jubilee of hope, we pray together the Jubilee prayer.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_03: Father in heaven, may the faith you have given us in your Son Jesus Christ, our brother, and the flame of charity and kindled in our hearts by the Holy Spirit reawaken in us blessed hope for the coming of your kingdom.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_03: May your grace transform us into tireless cultivators of the seeds of the gospel.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: May those seeds transform from within both humanity and the whole cosmos in the pure expectation of a new heaven and a new earth.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: When with the powers of evil vanquished, your glory will shine eternally.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: May the grapes of the Jubilee reawaken in us, pilgrims of hope, are yearning for the treasures of heaven.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_03: May that same grace spread the joy and peace of our Redeemer throughout the earth.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_03: To you, our God, eternal be blessed.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_03: Be glory and praise forever.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_03: Amen.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_03: In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_03: And our Lady, Mother of the Church, and Mother of Hope, pray for us.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_04: All right.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I'm gonna let you kick it off, Bishop.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_04: Why uh why did you want to have this episode and what do you want to talk about today?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um well, and I think the timing is good as um we'll be um having the New Jersey uh rally in March for Life and Mass for Life on uh I think it's Thursday, September 25th, the same day Berthaven will be having their golf outing.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but we'll be all working for life together, some on the golf course and some at the rally and and in March.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_03: But uh but as I said, um I know that Berthaven's been part of our diocese for many years and the ministry of our diocese, and uh have heard so much about it over my time.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna get there for a visit.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: I look forward to that.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: And um, but uh maybe um the founder, what was her name?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: Elizabeth Sutherland.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um so maybe just give us a little bit of the story of how Berthaven came to be.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, so um I had actually um we call her Betsy as her nickname.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um in Sussex County, I think, right?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: Very well known.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um Betsy and her family, and um the whole Sutherland family.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: And um I had asked Betsy because she was um a mom of nine children, um, happily married uh to Jean.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: And um I had always wondered, you know, what made her start Birth Haven since she wasn't a single mom.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: And um and she had said that she felt that um there was a need out there, that um she wanted to make sure that uh women had uh an option.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_03: How long ago again?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_03: How long was it?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_03: Uh 40 years.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's our 40th year anniversary.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: So back in 1985.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: 1985 it was established.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I know she had her work cut out for her prior to that.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um and that was a time when uh the respect life movement was growing, um, but especially in um uh uh bringing the the um the witness for life right to the places where abortions were taking place in in clinics, I know.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I believe uh Betsy felt that um as uh those were praying as people were praying outside of clinics that um she wanted to be able to offer, right?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Was there something involved with that that's um she felt that she um she only wanted to go um if she could provide an option or an alternative where she could um hand out brochures or documentation so that if a woman was inclined uh to carry her pregnancy to term that she would have a resource.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um and what I thought was remarkable about when she told me that, and I think about it all the time, is that so many, so often uh we have ideas that come to our minds, or you think, oh, you know, I should do that, or there's really a need for that, but your life gets busy, you know, having.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: She had, yes.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: She was um they had their own family business, she um, you know, a whole family of nine kids, and um and I thought it was interesting that she still recognized the need, but she took the time to, you know, put the footwork in and gather um some of her closest friends and to uh you know put this mission into fruition.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's remarkable because so many times our ideas I think you know get forgotten.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: And um and now 40 years later we're still here because of her.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_03: They eventually did they buy a home?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: Is that we did, yes.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um initially they were renting, to my understanding.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um I wasn't involved all way back then, but um they were renting a unit and then I think they had done some campaigns over the years um so that uh we could uh fully pay off the mortgage and and purchase a home and um and that's where we stand now in in Newton.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_03: So has it been in the same location?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I believe uh at least since the early 2000s or late 1990s we've been in the same location, yes.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: And um uh tell us a little bit about um uh the the home and how many residents, how many can it uh do you regularly have moms with uh about to give birth and who have recently given birth, right?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Is it correct, yes.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: So uh we're primarily a pregnancy shelter, so the women come in pregnant, all of the women come in while during their pregnancy at different stages.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we can house nine moms at a time.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um so Birth Haven's all about quality over quantity.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: Although it's nine women, it's nine women, and then there are nine babies.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then um everyone is staggered at their stage of pregnancy, so we do serve about 45 to 50 clients a year just due to the time frame of how often how they come in and how soon they leave.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um so uh yes, so it's it's nine women at a time, and and sometimes we have two or three babies, sometimes we have five, and the other moms are pregnant, and it's it's really Alyssa's been uh helping with our walking with moms in need initiative, right?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_03: And uh that idea, I think, that's been there for the church, been part of the church's pro-life efforts all along, but maybe not emphasized or known that um uh right, it's one thing to say we want a mom to keep her child and to uh say yes to gift of life, but when a mom needs help, um we do that with walking with moms in need now, trying to provide some uh places connecting people with a place like Birthhaven.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but uh also that we're we're there for the mom uh up to the child being born, but also after the child is born.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: And uh and and that's part of your work at Birthhaven as well, right?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um uh after the child is born, helping the mom to get her on her feet.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_03: Is that correct?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: We we believe too at Birthhaven, while they're there, they're connected with resources on-site.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: So we have a full-time case manager, uh, we have a full-time licensed clinical social worker who provides on-site therapy, which we feel is extremely important because the uh we're more of a transitional time period that they're with us.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: So if they could have weekly counseling for several months, you know, consecutively, could really turn things around.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so what we've recently done was uh put into uh action where our social worker is going to continue to meet with our residents after they leave Birth Haven, and she provides in-home therapy once a week for up to a year after um after they complete our program.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_03: And all the expenses are covered by fundraising, is that right?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: 100% by um private donations and and our fundraising.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_03: I know our parishes are very involved both in financial and other uh uh b b baby showers, right?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_03: And absolutely um I know Alyssa and Jay has questions have questions, but uh um uh before that, how many uh how long again are you been director?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well I've I've been employed at Birth Haven for 17 years, um, but I became director about 12 years ago.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_03: And um how did you get involved?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: So it's an interesting uh story, but um really one that has has molded me.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um so uh back in early 2000s, I was a college student.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um I was attending college at Mount St.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: Mary College up in Newburgh, and um I was heading into my senior year of college, and I found out my I myself uh was pregnant.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: And um it was a very challenging time because I was so close to finishing school but not quite there yet.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, I was in a situation very similar to the clients that come to Birth Haven where I was, you know, fearful of telling my family, didn't want to disappoint my family.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I wasn't, even though I was close to graduating, I really didn't have a strong foundation at that stage of my life in my early 20s.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um and um there was a priest at my college, um, Father Mark Connell, who I felt was a great mentor to me.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: He really um believed in me and um just felt that uh and really taught me to believe in myself.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: And uh prior um, you know, so I had to take a break from college so that I could um carry my son uh to term, but I I was left homeless um at the time because my family, you know, there was a lot of disappointment and I was challenging times.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, challenging time, and I I think that every family, what I've learned now is that every family ha handles crisis a little bit different.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: And um so you know, at the time I really didn't have a place uh to stay, but I knew that I was determined um to have my son, and um I didn't know how I was going to do it, but um I ended up um getting referred to Birth Haven.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: So back in early 2000s, I was actually a resident of Berthaven.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: And um Do you remember how you first heard about it or to where we followed you?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: It was actually um a friend of my mother's who had been a resident herself of Birth Haven many years ago and had placed her child for adoption and spoke very highly of the program.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I had never envisioned myself going to a homeless shelter, so it was very scary for me to think, you know, here's where my life had ended up.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um but do you recall feeling welcome when you arrived?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, absolutely.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: It really it wasn't what I initially envisioned of a homeless shelter, and that is still the concept that I believe we carry on today, um, because it's more of a program and and a home.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: And a home.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and and it has people um that are not your family, that are not your friends, um, but that are there for you when you're most vulnerable.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I really felt that from when I was there up until today, it's it's just the most genuine group of people um that really I've ever met.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_03: Alyssa, if you have some questions.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's such a powerful story.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you for opening up and sharing that.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_04: Um I don't think I have anything else specific for Tina at the moment, but do we we want to bring Alyssa in on the conversation?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just curious for those moms who are who want to say yes to life but are looking into adoption, what does the process look like at Birth Haven?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: So we believe at Birth Haven, we have a full life skill curriculum program, and we do incorporate adoption options into that curriculum, even if um a client um would you know is expecting to parent her child and is not interested in adoption.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: We just have the education piece there because we want the moms to know that there's um options and there's all different types of adoption as far as semi-open, open, closed, and I think that um we want them to just be aware and we always tell them, hey, it might not be your path, but we want you to be educated on it so that maybe you have a friend or a family member down the line that has questions.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: And um, so I think that um you know it's really important uh just to have that education piece there.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_03: Sure, sure, sure.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank you.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_03: And uh I'm sure you um I'm sure you see the moms uh uh developing community within themselves, and uh and and as we've talked about the you have the support of the local community, local parishes.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe you can talk a little bit about how important that is and helpful, right?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um so for Birth Haven, since we are privately funded, um it's really incredible to me.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: I know I was t telling Jay, we we have um the support of the community, um, but really it's how we survive for 40 years.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we have uh different parishes, the Knights of Columbus, the Rosary Society, we have school districts, um, you know, youth groups, um uh you name it Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, I mean, um we everybody um really comes together to lift us up.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I think every year, now that we're working, I'm working on the fundraising side of Berthaven as the director for many years, um, we sit down every year and we try to create establish a budget or how we're going to do this.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: And um we base it, you know, of course, on previous years, but it's really the generosity of the community of our supporters that you know enable Birth Haven to thrive.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: And for 40 years to be able to uh still be in existence um with a full house, I mean it's incredible to me that it's it's people helping people.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_03: And um within the Catholic community, within the respect life community, uh there's a lot of um, I think, mutual support.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: And you were part of a meeting that we had um for a number of different uh groups, parishes, leaders.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_03: Uh Alyssa, maybe you want to share a little bit about and and what we're doing in terms of maybe uh putting together a website, right?
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_03: So um people can know that uh places like Berthaven or others exist.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe you want to share a little bit about uh what we did recently at the end of June, right?
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: So um it was on the feast day of St.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: John the Baptist.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: The Nativity, I think.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: The Nativity of Justin.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: And essentially there's not a lack of resources within our diocese.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: There we just need accessibility to them.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: So this meeting was to gather leaders so we can digitize our resources so that we have quicker access to the resources instead of calling every organization, it would all be on one digital platform.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where I learned um about Birth Haven and more about Tina's story.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's more than just about the resources that would be on this platform for opportunities such as volunteering.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if there's any needs that the organization has, we'll be able to, as leaders, come together and figure out well, I have way more than enough diapers in my organization.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Let me go bring some to Birth Haven, let's just say.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and following that, I do have another question.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: So for the people who are listening, I want to volunteer.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Are there any volunteering opportunities at Birthhaven?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: We we always try to incorporate volunteers, whether on our committees for our fundraisers, um, we always need volunteers for bulk mailings.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: We have several a year that help us sustain funding for the organization.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so quite a few envelopes to stuff and seal, and that really is helpful.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um but we really accept volunteers if anyone has like a passion to do something, whether they're a great cook or baker or they sew or a crochet, like these are all nice skills that we would love for the residents to learn during their time with us.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: So we always try to incorporate maybe a talent or um passion of somebody who's interested in volunteering, um, even if it's gardening, um planting flowers, um anything to make the shelter feel like a home.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sure they can just Google Birth Haven in um in in Sparta, right?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh right.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: In New York.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's okay.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, birthaven.org.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_03: And Jay will put it in the show.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_04: And then you're also looking for volunteers for your golf outing, I guess, on the 25th.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_04: We're always looking for golfers.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: Always looking for golfers.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'll try to get there next year.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: That would be great.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_04: I just love the the non-sectarian uh kind of dynamic that's that's happening here.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_04: And it's it's because you're in involving people who may be Catholic or may not be Catholic or Christian and different, you know, religious organizations, and and like you mentioned, the Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, it's it's a great thing that this is uh cross-collaboration across different communities with different religious outlooks.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_04: And is that something that you're consciously?
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_03: That Betsy's part of uh her vision from the beginning.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: That is how, yeah, our mission has our mission statement has remained the same um since you know the beginning of time of of the 40 years.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um so it was Betsy's um thought process.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: And um what I like about it too is the design that she's created, as I mentioned, with being privately funded, um, it it allows us to accept clients from anywhere, um, clients that are minors, adults, you know, clients from different counties or within the county or within the state.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I just um like that uh it's very low barrier as far as who we're able to accept and and help.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_03: And I believe you have a very strong and active board.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_03: Is that the that yeah?
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_03: We do.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: We do, and and that's one of the things that um I you know I'm so grateful for for Birth Haven.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I've noticed over all of the years, um, it's just really um a great organization, but a great group of people that just want to help.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I know that if I had called the board and said, hey, you know, can a client have an extension?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if it's always in the client's best interests, you know, um it's a it's a definite yes, you know.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: And if a client needs a pair of shoes for work or work outfits, it's just, you know, I I've seen so many things like as I've gotten older in life and you hear about I feel like all the bad things on the news, and this is happening, that is happening, but I feel like um this is such a beautiful thing, you know, happening at Birth Haven with so many people who just have the client's best interests at heart.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that goes for our donors too.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like and I think that so many times you're not sure, like, well, will my one donation help, or will my time help?
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that, you know, between the board members and us being um still still going 40 years later, it shows that it really does make a difference.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it did in my life and it does in all of the clients that are currently.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_03: Sadly there's still very much a need, right?
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean uh uh so um um we yeah, we even uh saving lives.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_04: And you Tina, you had mentioned when we spoke over the phone uh yesterday, you noticed the trend that there's actually less referrals and more of uh sell how did you describe self-referrals or people just finding Birth Haven.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_04: Any other uh trends or things that you've uh realized over the years of your time working there?
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: I uh years ago when I first started as a case manager.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: At Birth Haven, I did notice a lot of referrals coming from schools, guidance counselors, churches.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: But I think mostly now a lot of the girls, when we ask how did they hear from us, they say, Oh, I was looking for I was looking for a maternity shelter and I found you online.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I just think that over the years, you know, how active the internet has gotten and social media they do find us there.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I always thought that's interesting so that they're able to find the resources a little quicker now, which is great.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's why that luncheon that you held is so helpful so that we have those connections uh and we can get people housed that day.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_04: Could you share, I mean, without revealing anyone's identity, um maybe a recent um s story about a a woman who who came to Berthaven who you assisted?
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um we had even last week, this is as recent as last week, we had a client call and um she was working and sleeping in her vehicle um outside of her job.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then she was going into uh like when um you know maybe a coffee shop opens in the morning, she would use their restroom to just get herself ready for work.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: And um she heard about us and she said, I just need a place to sleep to rest my head in between my work schedule.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so she's about halfway through her pregnancy, so we were able to take her in um that day.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: We just said our social worker said just come right after work, you know.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: Come here.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: And she she felt it sounded like she felt like it was too good to be true.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but she's just been going to work every day and she comes home and she makes herself dinner and I presume do you have um doctors that are helpful or if there's a need for um uh I presume when well uh uh we shouldn't presume, right?
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um a mom might find herself pregnant and not have her own doctor, right?
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: And and um no, that's a great question because uh many times the moms, because if they are homeless, um, they do not have adequate prenatal care.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: We see that time and time again prior to coming to Berthaven, because if they don't have health insurance or they don't have a house, you know, or any type of means to get to the doctor, um, you know, they they many times might use even the emergency room as here and there as a way to piece it together.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: But when they come to Berthaven, we do have great doctors.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: We do don't uh don't have any uh medical providers on site, but we do work with very relationships, yes, with local resources and um and and our partners that we work with, a lot of the doctors, they re they know that how eas how important it is to get the residents seen as soon as possible because they may have missed quite a few appointments prior to coming to us.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um so we have to play, you know, catch up to get everything.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: But that's our ultimate goal is is the health of the mom and the baby.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: Did you have a little question?
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, so Pope Francis said that uh it's we should dream and dream big, right?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um as long as we're grounded in reality and service to others.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't help but think about Birth Haven, right?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have if you can dream big, what are your what are some of your dreams for Birth Haven in the next few years?
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think um one of my dreams is is that if a if a resident comes into us early on in pregnancy, um they can achieve so much because they have so much more time.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: If a resident doesn't hear about us to maybe eight or nine months pregnant, we we still can do a great job, but it's not um maybe as as long as time as we would have hoped to have to have with her to really um change her life long term.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that one of the the biggest goals of birth haven is to break that cycle of homelessness.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I think just uh maybe having the resources to make sure that clients are aware of us as early as possible, because if housing is you know inconsistent, um finding us earlier to get the maximum impact.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: And because we we don't want to see um a child, you know, leave our program and then go to another shelter and another shelter and another shelter.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean that that's something that we don't want to see.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I think that that's really important.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think back to my situation if Birth Haven didn't give me that strong foundation, would I have ever finished college, gone back and finished?
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think I would have because of who I am.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm sure it would have taken me so much longer.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: And and many years later, and I think that um you know, having that uh structure and that foundation um because if if you can eliminate that crisis of where you're going to sleep, I mean the residents that come into our program many times have just their purse.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they don't have clothes sometimes, uh hairbrush, they're just surviving.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: And you you can't expect somebody to maintain a job um and you know get on get prenatal care and do all of these things without the foundation.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_03: And um uh they don't pay rent, I believe, right?
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_03: But they are asked to you do help in them saving money, right?
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_03: They they they uh the expectation is that they're they'll they'll work if they're able when they're able, obviously, you know, um uh up to when they can.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_03: You want to say a little bit about how you help them to save so that when after the baby is born and um they'll be have a better ahead a step ahead at least for going forward?
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: I it's one of my favorite aspects of the program, I can say, um, is that uh birthday is not just a shelter where you could come and sleep, um, but it like I said, it's all geared at making everyone self-sustainable after they leave.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um so with that, we really feel that the only way to end homelessness is to have an income and education.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so uh we are we do require all of the moms work full-time unless they are medically you know unable to, which is very rare, I could say, in my 17 years.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh it's a handful of clients that are uh medically unable to work.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um and since they do not have to pay a Birth Haven rent or utilities, it gives them a great amount of time to really get ahead.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: And if uh we have a requirement where they have to save 65% of their income into an escrow account that Birth Haven establishes, and our case manager monitors to make sure that every paycheck that amount goes into the bank account.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um and um that gives the clients a nest ache when they leave our program to hopefully utilize that for an apartment and to get on their feet.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because it's it's so hard for single moms to get ahead.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um have there been times when you've been able to help them find employment?
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_03: Because I sure um I presume some come with not having work when they when they arrive, right?
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um many of the residents we do drive around to go apply at different stores, but we do have some partnerships with the local hospital and the local food store.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um and um they do yeah, and they do try to, you know, review the Birth Haven clients application and see if they can um, you know, get their interviews scheduled and um and and it's really um it it's a great community.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like Sussex County too in particular is like a close-knit community and um seems that everyone wants to help each other, which is great.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_04: And Tina, you're obviously a powerful testament to what Birth Haven can achieve for a woman who is pregnant and and goes there.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_04: Did anyone come to mind who you recently helped at or even years ago who maybe has reached back out to you or someone you keep in touch with?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we we actually um we just had one of our fundraisers um in in May, um, and we had a former resident that was um a client 15 years ago.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: So when she was initially uh pregnant, I was her case manager at the time.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: And um and now um she came to our fundraiser with her son.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um he, you know, it was all it was a women's luncheon, and he was a 15-year-old high school student.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: So he was like, why am I here?
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: But he was he was so um, it was so great to see like this.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: Was our Birth Haven baby, you know, now, you know, almost an adult himself, and um, and she's doing wonderful, had her own business.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: She talked about her business, she's married now, and um, you know, she just talked about how Birth Haven helped, you know, change her life.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, um everyone has just a different story.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, and we have clients that have just situationally homeless, like which was my situation at the time.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'd never experienced homelessness before, but the crisis of unplanned pregnancy.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we also have clients, many clients that are chronically homeless.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and they've just do not have family.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: They've been in foster care and maybe the foster care environments weren't safe either.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and they've kind of just found themselves going from one unsafe situation to the next and then till they find birth haven.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I um, you know, I I think it's um, you know, I'm proud to be at a pl work at a place and just be at a place that um you know residents can go to sleep and know that they're safe and wake up and know that their needs are going to be met in organization and what we say we're going to do is what we do.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_03: It can make such a difference.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_04: Awesome.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you for your wonderful work, important work that you do, and for telling us more about it.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_04: Um why don't we uh Did you have anything else, Alyssa?
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um we have events coming up.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: The Respect Life office does have a few events coming up.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: We have the New Jersey March for Life September 25th.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um where we will also be having busing available in all three counties.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: So you can go to our website and check that out.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, check the show out.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: And just a month apart, so easy to remember, October 25th, we have our Respect Life convocation.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: And this theme, uh the theme of the year is IVF and healthcare ethics.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um it is a very sensitive topic, so we're really excited to um have this event so we can learn how to have these difficult conversations and understand what the church believes and stands for.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: And lastly, we have the Feminine Genius Brunch.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's a series.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very excited, it's quarterly, so our first session is November 15th.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: And um JP2 is the one that coined the term feminine genius, and we're just very excited to use the gospel of life to um help women become witnesses of life and how we can give back to our community.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: So those are three events coming up this year, and they're all about a month apart.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_03: And they're on the um our website at the St.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_03: Paul's website.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, at St.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_03: Paul's website.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_03: Uh the um the platform for the um uh respect life uh resources, is that still a work in progress, or is that yeah?
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_03: It's up already.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's up already.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_03: Oh great, great, great.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_03: So where can people find that?
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh St.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: Paul's Inside the Walls.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's connected.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we'll have uh a bunch of links in the show notes.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_04: Um and you could also just search the Respect Life office Diocese of Patterson and you'll find some things there as well.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_04: And uh before we let you go, we get we gotta ask you about the Jubilee of Youth.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, yes.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yes, of course.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: I mentioned it a little bit before.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: I did not expect to be shoulder to shoulder with one million other youth.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um it was amazing to see the Pope.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um one thing that stuck out the most was honestly just seeing like successor of Saint Peter kneel before Christ the same way that we do and in silence.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: And to get to get one million people to just be in the world.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's Saturday night, right?
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: To adore Christ was just uh just I was speechless and I came back feeling fired for Christ and just ready to be.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say uh it was a mini-world youth day, but it was really a full full world youth, right?
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_03: Right, right, right, for the Jubilee, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it was really amazing.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_03: And you said you got to go to a CC as well.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: I did get to go to a CC, very different than Rome.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: We got to a CC a little earlier, so before the crowd came, came rushing in um for the Jubilee of Youth events.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was a bit, it was less crowded, um quieter.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: And Assisi is much smaller than Rome.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: But Rome is beautiful.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_03: The churches are just Were you able to see where Carlo Acudis is buried?
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, we did.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: We visited, of course we did, yeah.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um and Tina, I think you said you're gonna be making a little different kind of pilgrimage coming up, right?
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_03: Are you helping some people go back to college?
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: My two oldest um children are going back to college in a few weeks, so I'll miss them.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: I've enjoyed my journey, friends.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_01: I am.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_01: I always make it my vacation as well.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_03: Working vacation.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_03: I like the warmer weather too.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, right.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_03: They're both in Florida, you said.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: I like the warmer weather too.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, good, good, good, good, good.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: Florida in the August doesn't bother me.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: But thank you.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_03: Well, thank you, Tina.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for coming on.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for having me.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks, Alyssa, for being with us uh and for all the work that you're both doing.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_03: Really great.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, thank you so much.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_04: And Bishop, before we uh sign off, do you anything that uh comes to mind uh reflecting on the conversation that you want to share?
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_03: Just um, you know, the connection really uh as Alyssa I think alluded to, uh Bishop Barron um he said it uh on his homily for St.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_03: Peter and Paul at the end of June, and then he shared it with the young people this weekend, uh uh thinking of uh Peter being crucified in Rome.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_03: And you said, Where's this guy gonna end up?
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_03: And the Roman Empire and that's all of its glory.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_03: And uh where did that end up?
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_03: There the Roman Empire's in ruins, and the successor of Peter, he said, I saw him riding around St.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_03: Peter's last night.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_03: Uh so uh so yes, many have predicted the church's decline, but um despite our challenges, we're we're vibrant and alive, and uh and it's one thing to to to preach in words which are important, but um putting those words into action um is is what makes uh the word become flesh and and and the work of Jesus to be realized um by uh a visionary like Betsy and Tina, somebody like yourself, uh really putting the gospel of life into practice, um day-to-day uh welcoming moms.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_03: So it's um it's uh it's a wonderful sign that um we're alive as a church, as a diocese, and and and and um whether whether Catholic or not, we're all literally God's children, and uh and thank you for the way that Birth Haven uh uh communicates that.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um look forward to getting up there for a visit.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: I look at this.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_03: Great, great.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_04: All right, and Bishop, what are you reading?
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_04: I I started I finished finally finished Acts and I'm reading, actually reading Bob Dylan's uh Chronicles Autobiography.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_04: So great.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_04: I'm I'm uh sucked into it.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_04: But uh what do you what have you been reading or listening to?
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_03: I just finished listening to um The Empire of AI.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_03: Uh Karen H.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_03: A.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_03: O.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_03: I think.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um some scary stuff.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um and uh it goes into a lot about the founding of um OpenAI, which led to Chat GPT and uh some of the people involved.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_03: And um cutting edges always.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_03: Uh well no, I don't know.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_03: Um but uh that was an interesting read.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_03: So uh and now I'm listening to um I've always wanted to learn a little bit about the history of Colombia.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_03: So um there's a book on the Rio Magdalena, the river Magdalene that runs through the country that um the author is using the river to give the history of the country.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_03: So I just thought of that in uh have you been?
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_03: No, I have to go.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_03: We have so many of our priests who are from there, so um, I've been to a number of other countries, but uh I haven't yet gotten to Colombia, so it's on my list.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, there's uh um Statue of Jesus right up on the uh That's um Is that Columbia?
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_03: That's I think uh Brazil.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_03: Brazil, okay, okay.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, my same part of the world, same part of the world.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_03: All right, I was close.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_03: It's Americans who are great at you.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there you go.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um I thought Lindhurst Long Island.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_04: Too gracious.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_04: All right.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_04: Well, uh well good.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_04: Well, thanks again.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_04: And uh I think we'll say goodbye.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_04: So um and thank you all for joining us.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_04: Please subscribe, comment, and leave a positive rating.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_04: Get to know us better by following Beyond the Beacon on Facebook or Instagram.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_04: Email questions and podcast topic ideas to us at beyond at patterson diocese.org.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_04: Discover our other podcasts, Coffee with Kupke and the Paul Street Journal.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_04: See you next time.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks, everybody.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_03: God bless you.