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Self-Love – More Than a Buzzword · The Road Doc Podcast

0:02
Everywhere you look, people are saying self love this, self love
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that. It's become a trendy word, a
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hashtag, a caption under a selfie, like a post.
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But what does self love really mean?
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Is it just about treating yourself?
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Or is it about becoming your best ally when life gets hard?
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Today, let's go beyond the buzzword and talk about the real
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power of self love. Alright, before deep diving into
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today's episode, I would like to thank you all for tuning in.
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Our podcast is going good. We are getting good appreciation
1:06
and comments from all over the world.
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I would like to deeply, deeply thank you all for listening from
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wherever you are listening. Thank you so much.
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And I would like to grab my green tea first because why not?
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I just woke up, so I suggest you 2 get a good beverage or cup of
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coffee tea because this episode is gonna be worth a while for
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your time that I can tell. So yeah, now let's just take a
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deep breath because this is kind of a sensitive topic for most of
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us. Let's just take a deep breath
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and we will go as much as we can and discuss this, or I will
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share my thoughts and visions from the medical perspective, my
2:07
personal perspective, and so on and so forth.
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Whatever it may be, this green tea is really good.
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OK, the misunderstanding of self love.
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Like the most people think self love means pampering yourself
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isn't it? Like you go for a spa, shopping,
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comfort food or binge watching shows from OTD platforms.
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Do you really think that's a love or is it an escape?
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Huh. I think most of us will be found
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somewhere in these categories sometimes, isn't it?
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That's a human nature anyways. Real self love isn't about
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indulgence. It's about discipline.
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Actually. It's about telling yourself the
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hard truths, doing the hard things, and creating a life that
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you do not need to run away from.
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I do not mean doing the hard things and being hard on you
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means just being truthful because truth is always as hard
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as it can be. We do not and we cannot
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sugarcoat to ourselves all the time.
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You know when we are alone by ourselves, that's when the real
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truth from inside comes out saying hey man, you are doing
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this one wrong and you know that you are not even trying to
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correct yourself. What's wrong with you?
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That voice comes within you, isn't it?
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Once in a while, even for anyone on this planet.
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And sometimes you are supposed to hit the gym.
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Let's just say today that you tell yourself you are tired even
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though you are not. Instead of hitting the gym, you
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are going to tell yourself today is going to be a rest day for
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me, even though you are not tired.
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That's not self love. That's just escaping the fact
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that you don't want to do the hard thing.
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Yeah, it is. Most of us do that what say what
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real self love looks like. For me, real self love is like
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respecting your boundaries even if it upset others.
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Eating clean food because my body, your body deserves fuel,
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not poison. Like sleeping on time, not
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scrolling at 3:00 AM, saying no to toxic people even if they are
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close, investing in your growth instead of choosing validation.
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Let's just go back one more time.
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We all are in this five things I just mentioned.
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Isn't it somewhere? Sometimes we just don't even
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respect ourself. And we do so many crazy things.
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We eat nonsense most of the time, just like, say, saying
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something like, oh, today is a party, we need to go there.
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So we do not want to hurt them. Instead, we hurt ourselves by
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eating all the unnecessary trashy food.
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And most of us were sitting on the social media and scrolling
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mindlessly for hours and hours and hours just to feel, you
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know, so numb that you can sleep.
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And some people are even great. I have seen that too.
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They won't sleep. They just scroll, scroll, scroll
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until morning. And I asked them like, what did
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you gain? Nothing.
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See, that's not self love, that's self destruction, by the
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way. And some things like this, you
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know, you know a person XYZ is a toxic person, but you don't want
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to hurt that person. So what you are going to do, you
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will simply keep him or her around thinking you do not want
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to hurt their feelings. But you are getting hurt
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constantly. Isn't it so?
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And this is the wildest thing you know, I have seen it with my
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own eyes. If people do not love themselves
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more enough, all I saw was just bunch of random posting and then
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quoting this and that. Especially with the women
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choosing social media as a medium to get validation.
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They just chase for validation. They just want some people like
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them. They just want that attention,
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all these things. This is the thing, if you do it
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for fun, it is very different. But you are particularly and
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deliberately choosing to post XYZ things on the social media
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without any purpose or anything. You are simply chasing
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validation my friends. And that simply means you do not
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even love yourself much enough to start with.
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I asked those kind of people and I asked one of them, they were
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one of my close friends, why do you do that?
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And they were like, I don't look good, I don't feel good.
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I don't this, I don't that I so that's why post it on social
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media. I mean, posting is the not the
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wrong thing. Why you are doing this?
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The actual reason isn't it? You do it for fun.
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That's whole different thing. But you do it literally because
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you hate yourself and now you are looking for some outside
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your your arena to get validation from them saying go
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go you are good, you are superb. This that and what not.
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That is all comes from the attention seeking and validation
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these things. I mean these things comes
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because you know if you do not love in the best version of
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yourself, then all these things surface to the ground one day
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for sure and then that is it. You will be fall into the trap
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of chasing validation. And that's when my dear friends,
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you know that you are losing yourself because everything has
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two sides. Once you start chasing for the
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validation there not just you will get positivity, you also
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get negativity too. And if time goes wrong and
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someone says something on social media that you do not look good
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or you look like this and that and this and that yourself,
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confidence will go even much worse.
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And guess what? You will break into pieces.
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Not just one piece, million pieces in that fraction of a
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second. That is what will happen if you
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do not love yourself as much as needed.
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So yeah, sometimes self love is not soft, it is tough.
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It is about building a version of yourself that you are proud
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to live with. So try to practice these things.
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Respect yourself by respecting your boundaries, even if it
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upset others. It clean because a good body,
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good gut means a good mindset. Sleep on time, don't waste your
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energy on mindless crawling. Say no to the toxic people even
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if they are closest ones. Protect yourself and your
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energy. Invest in yourself rather than
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chasing some outside dopamine or validation these that they are
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not helpful to you people. So try your best to focus.
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Let us just, you know, decode this trap of buzzword culture
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they call on social media whatever.
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In social media, they sell self love as an aesthetic.
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Isn't it cute quotes, morning coffee, selfies and soft
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affirmations? Really.
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Do you think self love really is like you say something all these
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things will really going to change everything out of your
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mouth blue or you are just masking it?
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My dear friends, today I am going to tell you some raw truth
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which is going to hurt so many people now.
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But that is OK, that is the truth anyways.
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But true self love is messy. Actually you know it is.
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It is like crying when you need, facing your problems, facing
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your demons, dragging yourself to the gym when you don't feel
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like it, and keeping promises to yourself.
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Because love without action is just a word.
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Self love is an action. It's like you got to take those
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actions sometimes. You need to have yourself the
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truest, royest form of conversation with yourself.
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That is also called self love. It is not just like always I am
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good, I am always good. I am no, no, no, no, no.
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Sometimes we also do bad things that can be anything.
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Like you might have gossiped about some other colleague to
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some other one in their work, even though that other colleague
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did not do anything. You just started that.
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That is a bad thing you know. So in order to prevent that, if
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you love enough about yourself, you will not even interested to
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talk or listen to someone else's things.
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Isn't it you just being in a toxic cycle And to cut out some
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things like that you got to practice some real self love
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things. I will give few examples so that
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you can start practicing right away because these things won't
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even need to spend money. All you need to do is sit with
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yourself. Be the rawest truest form of
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yourself. You don't need to share it to
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anyone, just with yourself. And your heart should know that
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you are being super super super truthful and raw honesty to
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yourself that matters a lot. Like let me give you a few, a 5
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steps just for you so that whether some people will care or
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not is secondary. Like talk to yourselves, like
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someone you care about. That's step one.
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Step number one, you gotta talk to yourself.
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Like you gotta talk to someone. You know what this self talk
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will do? Catch the all the negative self
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talk and reframe that which means you will change from
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negative thoughts to positive thoughts slowly but efficiently.
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You will be there. Keep your promises to yourself.
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We all have this habit. We give our words to so many
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people but we won't give the word to ourself and we will
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never keep that. Like for example, if you said
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something, you do something for yourself, like do it.
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That's how you build self trust with yourself.
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Like you'd said you're going to the gym then go.
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Don't wait for other people. They're going to come and join.
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They said they will, but they didn't.
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No, no, no, you want, you've said yourself you're going to
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the gym, then just go. You told yourself you're going
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to eat clean, then eat clean. You're going to set yourself,
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you'll sleep on time, then sleep on time.
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That's it. Step #3 forgive yourself.
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I know in life nothing will be perfect but won't stay stuck in
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the guilt. This is where so many people
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stuck because they cannot forgive themselves from that and
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they are stuck in this loophole of guilt.
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And that is when when the moment they start, instead of
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addressing that problem, you know, most, most people will do.
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They just mask it. They just want to cover it for
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few days, let it pass on. That is not how things works.
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You are just, you know, masking it means you are just adding
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more weightage in the long run and you will feel so much heavy
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soon and soon you will crash. This happens to everyone so
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don't worry. Take your time though.
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But don't stuck in that guilty kind of a loophole alright?
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You should have the courage to forgive yourself.
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I talked about previous episode about the forgiveness and all
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these things. It might help.
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Check it out #4 push yourself. You should many many times
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because your comfort zone won't change you.
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Literally. This is 1000% sure wherever you
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are right now. Once you feel you are filled
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with negative thoughts, then step out of wherever you are.
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Just go for a walk. Yeah, sometimes we all end up in
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that same loop. That is when the problem
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amplifies isn't it? And a simple walk can fix
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sometimes, we never know. Self love sometimes means saying
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get up, do it anyway. That is the thing.
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It all depends on situations. Alright #5 celebrate progress,
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not perfection people. Whatever you are doing right now
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or you've been working right now, celebrate yourself.
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You don't need a big chunk of people around and hyping you up.
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You don't need that. Wherever you are right now, tell
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to yourself yay yay I did well today.
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I would like to appreciate myself for waking up early,
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hitting the gym, eating the right food.
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I finished so and so work. I did not over thing today, I
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just did it. All these things works and
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everything is cost absolutely $0.00.
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So what are you waiting for? But I know we all get into that
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loophole of so many things. We will waste so much time
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mindlessly in a day and you feel wondering what I am even doing
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with my life and we post it on somewhere in the social media
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looking for validation and stuff like that.
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You know, I would like to share some personal story of Maine.
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It is going to be kind of very rough.
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So do not mind. I will be very, very, very, very
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real here. You know, myself love did not
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come from selfies or hashtags on the social media.
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It came from literally hitting the rock bottom, realizing no
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one else was gonna save me and decided I got me anyways.
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And always. It came from choosing the gym
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instead of laziness. It came from hitting the record
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on this podcast even no one cared at the beginning of
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recording this podcast from cutting people off who train me.
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That's love, not for the outside world, but for myself, you know?
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Yeah, it happened. So let us just say this.
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The day I decided to do the podcast, once I posted it, you
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know how many people really watched it?
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One that is all one and you know in this position.
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If someone is in my position, they might go left, right,
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center. And what is happening, why
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nobody is watching, like why nobody is listening, all these
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things. But you know, instead what I
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did, I did not chase for any validation.
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It is like I did my job. I did, I share that is all
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efforts matters, not the results.
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So I just moved on. And then I did the second one, I
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did the third one and the 456 and now we are here and guess
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what, now we have audience from not just for one country, we
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have like at least five countries during initial days.
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That is crazy to me. And I have got this question, am
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I going to stop doing what I am doing just because I did not hit
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certain numbers? Absolutely not.
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If I get certain numbers, do I overdo it?
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May be not then what I am looking for.
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What is the actual purpose of doing what I am doing?
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Simple to help people who are in certain situations that give
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them a little guidance as much as I can as a doctor and
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motorcycle rider, creator, YouTube, podcaster, what not
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give them a little bit of guidance so that they can get
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some information and knowledge through everything I am doing.
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So that's why even if I post something in Instagram or in
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anywhere on my social media like YouTube here and there, I just
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post and leave. That's it.
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Yeah, that's it. I will not sit there and look
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for how many people watched it, how many people liked it, how
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many people hated it. Nope.
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I did something good. I know, and that is more than
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enough. I just throw it to the world.
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World will find it one day when they absolutely necessary.
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I do not need to sit there and force everyone.
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That is why you know initial days many people asked me like
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bro you are a doctor, why are you wasting your time on this
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social media and stuff. I told them simple bro, I am not
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doing for anybody. I am doing it for myself because
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especially I know young guys like 16 year, 17 year old, I
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already have. I am lucky enough to have those
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loyal people at the beginning of this because those people might
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be wondering where they are going in life and they need
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someone to guide them in a good way so that those people won't
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get into the trap of certain things.
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I told them like it's not for me.
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I don't get anything to be honest.
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I will get certain things because I am trying to help
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people out there to just give a little guidance.
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That's all it's going to be, nothing else.
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A little guidance will help them a lot.
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By helping them, I am learning something and they are learning
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something. That's a win win situation and
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that makes me happy that I can. I feel happy that I helped
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someone and it helped someone out there.
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That's my kind of a self flow, isn't it?
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So likewise, you know, we all practice self love in different
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ways, isn't it? For some people it is going to
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be like music, for some people it is dancing, some people it is
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art. That is how they express that
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kind of self love. And for me it is like
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motorcycling and scientifically it works.
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All these things shift your energy from negative to
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positive. Different medium but same
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purpose. That is why when I say like
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motorcycling all these things it means simple nothing.
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Everything is science backed, everything works.
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We all have different forms to come through, from negative
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situations to positive. We are channeling our thoughts,
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our energies in such a way. It is all true.
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We all have a different medium but we all end up in the same
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purpose. So if it helps then do.
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That is why some people go to the gym.
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They hit the gym no matter what. I know even though they do not,
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it is not recommended to work all seven days, but they still
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go there because some people, these people told me that once
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they enter the gym or once they do this or they do that, they
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get the positive energy, they go for that.
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And if you are going for that, they are fine.
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Like, OK, good. See, like everyone has their
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own. I just gave few examples.
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There are so many actually. So yeah, likewise people, we all
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have different different mediums.
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If you enjoy it then absolutely fine, go for it.
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But make sure you are not overdoing or underdoing it
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because we have that habit as a human beings, either we overdo
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it or underdo it, but we don't be at the balance.
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So yeah, here is my question for you people.
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When was the last time you kept a promise to yourselves?
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When was the last time you said no to someone else so you could
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say yes to your peace? Remember, self love isn't about
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treating yourself when you feel low, it's about building so high
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that you don't stay low for a long time.
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Alright, alright. Thank you for listening to
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today's episode. And as always, keep moving, keep
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growing, and keep building the best version of yourself.
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This is Doctor Amukun. I'm gonna catch you up in the
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next one. Until then, take care.
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Bye.