Latest / Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm / ADHD Nightly Reset: Stop the Spiral Before Bed | 030
Transcript
- 0:01SPEAKER_00: Hey, this is Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
- 0:04SPEAKER_00: My name is Jessica Lynn Lewis, and today is special guest, ADHD coach Leah Carroll.
- 0:11SPEAKER_00: We had her on last week, and we have her on again this week.
- 0:15SPEAKER_00: And because we chatted for a very long time, I actually had to split this one up.
- 0:20SPEAKER_00: And so we're going to release the next one next week.
- 0:24SPEAKER_00: She had so many great things to say.
- 0:27SPEAKER_00: And we're going to start off with her quick win.
- 0:30SPEAKER_00: Well, hey, Leah, thank you so much for joining us again.
- 0:33SPEAKER_00: Like we had you last week, and we're excited to have you back on this week for this week's quick win.
- 0:39SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited.
- 0:40SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me again.
- 0:42SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 0:42SPEAKER_00: I loved, loved our conversation last week.
- 0:45SPEAKER_00: Um, you just have so many good things to say.
- 0:48SPEAKER_00: Um, you're also a coach.
- 0:49SPEAKER_00: So if somebody's looking for an ADHD coach, Leah is fantastic.
- 0:54SPEAKER_00: She has so many good tips and tricks.
- 0:56SPEAKER_00: Um highly recommend checking you out.
- 1:00SPEAKER_00: All right, so your quick win for this week.
- 1:03SPEAKER_01: Okay, so the quick win for this week is this came from Atomic Habits.
- 1:10SPEAKER_01: It's from James Clear.
- 1:11SPEAKER_01: I love that book.
- 1:12SPEAKER_01: That was Game Changer.
- 1:14SPEAKER_01: It's so good.
- 1:14SPEAKER_01: It's not neurodivergence specific, but it is still just a great, great book.
- 1:21SPEAKER_01: I have it on Audible, and it's one of those that you can just kind of pop in whenever you want.
- 1:26SPEAKER_01: So um sometimes I'll listen to it if I'm trying to sleep or, you know, just going for a walk or something.
- 1:31SPEAKER_01: It's just kind of always there.
- 1:32SPEAKER_01: But James Clear talks about your nine to five is built on your five to nine.
- 1:38SPEAKER_01: So what you do the night before from 5 p.m.
- 1:42SPEAKER_01: to 9 p.m.
- 1:44SPEAKER_01: sets up tomorrow's nine to five.
- 1:47SPEAKER_01: And so that's what this is.
- 1:49SPEAKER_01: It is um prepping the night before.
- 1:53SPEAKER_01: And I don't mean like massive, you know, meal prep and all these kinds of things, unless that's your jam, then by all means.
- 2:00SPEAKER_01: Um, but this is just light ways to set yourself up for success in the morning.
- 2:05SPEAKER_01: So I kind of look at it as um a gift to future Leah.
- 2:09SPEAKER_01: So like what gift can I give to myself tomorrow morning?
- 2:12SPEAKER_00: Yes.
- 2:12SPEAKER_00: That was game changer for me when I realized the night before I call it, you know, tired Jess or bad Jessica is like, forget everything, forget every, you know, I'm gonna eat whatever I want, forget the meal plan, forget the, you know, you're just so exhausted by the end of the day.
- 2:28SPEAKER_00: But when I switched it into, okay, let's let's think about future Jessica.
- 2:33SPEAKER_00: I like that.
- 2:33SPEAKER_00: Let's think about future Leah.
- 2:35SPEAKER_00: What would she like tomorrow morning?
- 2:37SPEAKER_00: Yes, what gift can I give her?
- 2:40SPEAKER_01: So the great thing about this is that again, if you listened to last week's episode where we talk about giving herself some grace, being a bit more like water, a less, a little bit less like concrete, we want to be a little bit fluid here.
- 2:58SPEAKER_01: So, what are the things?
- 3:00SPEAKER_01: And this takes some self-awareness and some self-reflection, both of which are executive functions that we as ADHDers struggle with.
- 3:07SPEAKER_01: So, no shame there.
- 3:08SPEAKER_01: It just is what it is.
- 3:10SPEAKER_01: It's a very neutral thing.
- 3:11SPEAKER_01: It's it we just struggle with it.
- 3:13SPEAKER_01: So, really looking at what are the parts of your morning that really derail you?
- 3:18SPEAKER_01: Right now, some of those things you cannot control.
- 3:22SPEAKER_01: Kids are not emotionally regulated, they're tired.
- 3:25SPEAKER_01: This one wants, you know, screen time, this one wants another snack, this one doesn't, you know, whatever.
- 3:31SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you have prevocable angels.
- 3:32SPEAKER_01: I'm sure you do.
- 3:33SPEAKER_01: Um so, so really looking at all right, what is in my control?
- 3:38SPEAKER_01: I, you know, and I hear this from so many of my um my clients, specifically moms, that are dealing with um the morning craziness of school run and all of that.
- 3:50SPEAKER_01: So, what part of that is really deregulating for everybody?
- 3:55SPEAKER_01: Well, we don't know what we're gonna wear.
- 3:56SPEAKER_01: We don't know where our shoes are, we don't know where the backpack is, no lunches are packed.
- 4:00SPEAKER_01: Uh oh, we forgot that it is, you know, a field trip day.
- 4:03SPEAKER_01: We forgot that it's school spirit day and we gotta wear blue, whatever it is, right?
- 4:08SPEAKER_00: Yesterday it was we got eight inches of snow, and where are all of our winter jackets?
- 4:14SPEAKER_00: They suddenly disappeared.
- 4:16SPEAKER_00: I thought I was ready.
- 4:18SPEAKER_00: No winter jacket.
- 4:19SPEAKER_00: Like, did you leave it at school?
- 4:20SPEAKER_00: Do we leave it in the back of the car?
- 4:22SPEAKER_00: Wear double sweatshirt, and there's the bus.
- 4:25SPEAKER_01: Yeah, good luck.
- 4:27SPEAKER_01: See you when you get home.
- 4:28SPEAKER_01: Love you.
- 4:29SPEAKER_01: Yeah, get on that bus pretty quick.
- 4:30SPEAKER_01: It's cold.
- 4:31unknown: Right.
- 4:32SPEAKER_01: Right.
- 4:33SPEAKER_01: Um, and again, kind of giving yourself some grace.
- 4:36SPEAKER_01: Like, was that a super big deal?
- 4:38SPEAKER_01: Did anybody get, you know, was anybody in danger?
- 4:41SPEAKER_01: Was anybody hurt?
- 4:42SPEAKER_01: Did anybody was, you know, no, it's okay.
- 4:44SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I would love for my kid to go to school with a winter coat, but double sweatshirt, just as good.
- 4:49SPEAKER_01: They're gonna be inside all day.
- 4:50SPEAKER_01: They're not gonna go outside and play in the snow at school.
- 4:52SPEAKER_01: Yep.
- 4:53SPEAKER_01: We're gonna let that one go.
- 4:54SPEAKER_01: Move on.
- 4:55SPEAKER_01: Drop the drama.
- 4:56SPEAKER_01: We're gonna drop the drama.
- 4:57SPEAKER_01: I feel like so many, um, so many of us put unadditional, unnecessary drama.
- 5:05SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm a terrible mom.
- 5:07SPEAKER_01: I can't find the coat.
- 5:08SPEAKER_01: No, you're not a terrible mom.
- 5:09SPEAKER_01: You're overwhelmed and you're overextended.
- 5:11SPEAKER_01: Shove on an extra sweatshirt and call it a day.
- 5:14SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
- 5:14unknown: Yeah.
- 5:15SPEAKER_00: And you don't have to try to find a jacket or go buy a jacket and then drop it off at school so they have a jacket.
- 5:23SPEAKER_01: Love it.
- 5:24SPEAKER_01: No.
- 5:24SPEAKER_00: Just let it go.
- 5:26SPEAKER_00: They're fine.
- 5:27SPEAKER_00: Drop the drop.
- 5:28SPEAKER_00: There's other people who will take care of them.
- 5:30SPEAKER_00: 100%.
- 5:31SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
- 5:31SPEAKER_00: It's not, it's not a big deal.
- 5:34SPEAKER_01: Prominently, if we've lost the coat, okay, yeah, we're gonna have to go with a new one.
- 5:38SPEAKER_01: Okay, fine.
- 5:38SPEAKER_01: But more often than not, it's shoved somewhere.
- 5:42SPEAKER_01: You know, you'll be fine.
- 5:44SPEAKER_01: You'll find it.
- 5:44SPEAKER_01: We'll find it next spring.
- 5:46unknown: Yeah, yeah.
- 5:47SPEAKER_00: That's usually how it goes.
- 5:48SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
- 5:50SPEAKER_01: And then it's too small.
- 5:51SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 5:52SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
- 5:52SPEAKER_01: And then you're like, uh, well, yeah, great.
- 5:54SPEAKER_01: Mission.
- 5:55SPEAKER_01: But you know, that's okay.
- 5:56SPEAKER_01: And then you can take it to, you know, donate somewhere so that another kid can get some good use out of it.
- 6:02SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
- 6:03SPEAKER_01: Lots of donations.
- 6:04SPEAKER_01: So yeah, we we don't really want to turn, you know, we want to look at where do our mornings feel like Olympic sporting events, right?
- 6:14SPEAKER_01: So what can you do to set yourself up the night before?
- 6:18SPEAKER_01: So this is what I always kind of talk to people about.
- 6:21SPEAKER_01: Easy.
- 6:22SPEAKER_01: If your kids are of age, have them help you.
- 6:25SPEAKER_01: What do they want to wear to school tomorrow?
- 6:28SPEAKER_01: Hey, actually, let's let's kind of think about this.
- 6:31SPEAKER_01: And we can create ourselves a template if it's helpful with the kids.
- 6:35SPEAKER_01: We need to check the weather.
- 6:37SPEAKER_01: Right?
- 6:38SPEAKER_01: So, right now in Kentucky, um, I think yesterday it was uh like 32 degrees.
- 6:43SPEAKER_01: And then I think by Friday it's gonna be back up to 67.
- 6:48SPEAKER_01: Because welcome to, you know, the fall in Kentucky.
- 6:51SPEAKER_01: The change of the yeah.
- 6:52SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 6:53SPEAKER_01: So okay, our first step needs to be let's look at the weather.
- 6:56SPEAKER_01: Cool.
- 6:56SPEAKER_01: Hey, if you want to bring them in on that, do it.
- 6:59SPEAKER_01: If not, do it yourself.
- 7:01SPEAKER_01: All right, tomorrow's gonna be kind of toasty.
- 7:02SPEAKER_01: We don't really need to worry about that winter jacket.
- 7:04SPEAKER_01: Sweet.
- 7:05SPEAKER_01: Okay, y'all pick out your clothes.
- 7:06SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be kind of warm tomorrow, you know, whatever.
- 7:09SPEAKER_01: If they can't do that, do it for them.
- 7:12SPEAKER_00: Right.
- 7:13SPEAKER_00: Because that because they're learning too.
- 7:15SPEAKER_00: They're not just gonna know.
- 7:16SPEAKER_00: And if you figure all this out, it's something that you can transfer to your kid who might also be a neurodivergent if you're also Yeah.
- 7:25SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times kids like to be involved in these processes.
- 7:28SPEAKER_01: They don't really like, they're not like, oh my gosh, I want to pick out my clothes.
- 7:31SPEAKER_01: You're like, hey, come with me.
- 7:32SPEAKER_01: We're gonna, what do you want to wear tomorrow?
- 7:33SPEAKER_01: Do you want to weans or do you want to wear sweatpants?
- 7:35SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, whatever it is.
- 7:36SPEAKER_01: Um, so do that.
- 7:37SPEAKER_01: And here is another thing that we don't think about.
- 7:41SPEAKER_01: Lay out your clothes as well.
- 7:44SPEAKER_01: I want you laying out.
- 7:45SPEAKER_01: Put ourselves last.
- 7:46SPEAKER_01: Oh, 100%.
- 7:47SPEAKER_01: We don't even think about it.
- 7:48SPEAKER_01: I want you laying out your jeans, your bra, your underwear, your socks, the t-shirt that you're gonna wear under the sweater, the sweater, all of it.
- 7:59SPEAKER_01: I want all of it laid out.
- 8:00SPEAKER_00: Put your whole outfit together.
- 8:02SPEAKER_00: Usually it's just like whatever I had on yesterday.
- 8:07SPEAKER_00: Perfect.
- 8:07SPEAKER_00: That's totally fine.
- 8:08SPEAKER_00: My little pants.
- 8:09unknown: Yeah.
- 8:10unknown: Yeah.
- 8:10SPEAKER_01: Pick it up off the floor drobe, but move it to the top of the floor drope.
- 8:15SPEAKER_01: Instead of the bottom of the floor drove or the middle of the floor drope.
- 8:17SPEAKER_01: Totally fine.
- 8:18SPEAKER_01: No worries.
- 8:18SPEAKER_01: Again, we don't have to be precious about this.
- 8:21SPEAKER_01: We don't have to, well, I need a space that I can lay my clothes on.
- 8:25SPEAKER_01: No, you don't.
- 8:26SPEAKER_01: That that can go on the floor, right in front of your nightstand, in a heap.
- 8:31SPEAKER_01: It's yoga pants.
- 8:33SPEAKER_01: They can be in a heap, it doesn't matter.
- 8:35SPEAKER_01: Specifically, if if you again, you know, kind of that that um back to last week's episode about habit stacking.
- 8:41SPEAKER_01: Do you want to go to the gym?
- 8:42SPEAKER_01: Yoga pants.
- 8:44SPEAKER_01: What, you know, and I know it sounds silly.
- 8:46SPEAKER_01: What underwear do you want to wear with those yoga pants?
- 8:48SPEAKER_01: Makes a difference.
- 8:49SPEAKER_01: What sports bra do you want to wear?
- 8:52SPEAKER_01: Right?
- 8:52SPEAKER_01: Depending on what's going on with you.
- 8:54SPEAKER_01: Go ahead and pick it out at night because at night you are typically more regulated.
- 8:59SPEAKER_01: Now, you're also a bit more exhausted.
- 9:01SPEAKER_01: I get that.
- 9:02SPEAKER_01: Your bandwidth has worn down.
- 9:04SPEAKER_01: But in the morning, you're a bit more deregulated.
- 9:06SPEAKER_01: There's a lot going on.
- 9:07SPEAKER_01: We gotta get kids up, we gotta get breakfast, we gotta get coffee, we gotta get the dog fed, we gotta get out the door, we gotta get shoes on, where's your backpack?
- 9:13SPEAKER_01: See you're up here.
- 9:16SPEAKER_01: At night, you can at least like t-shirt, yoga pants, sports bra.
- 9:22SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
- 9:23SPEAKER_01: It's right there.
- 9:23SPEAKER_01: It's in a heap.
- 9:24SPEAKER_01: So set yourself up for that as well.
- 9:27SPEAKER_01: You go into the office tomorrow, get that bag.
- 9:31SPEAKER_01: I need that computer, I need that charger, I need those headphones, I need your sunglasses, I need that shawl because it's always freezing cold in the office, whatever it is that your sensory needs are there.
- 9:42SPEAKER_01: Have them ready to go.
- 9:43SPEAKER_01: So in the morning, you're like, where's my charger?
- 9:45SPEAKER_01: Where's my headphones?
- 9:47SPEAKER_01: Forget it.
- 9:47SPEAKER_01: I'll just go to the office without them.
- 9:49SPEAKER_01: And then you're miserable at the office all day and you're deregulated because it's too loud.
- 9:53SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 9:53SPEAKER_00: Because those little things do like just ticket your brain and and take up so much space in there.
- 10:01SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, I really wish I had that blanket.
- 10:03SPEAKER_00: I really wish I had that.
- 10:05SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 10:05SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
- 10:06SPEAKER_01: So again, this takes a little bit of planning and reflection.
- 10:10SPEAKER_01: The reflection bit on where do I get really frustrated in my days in my morning?
- 10:14SPEAKER_01: So I get really frustrated because, oh man, I don't have that scarf.
- 10:18SPEAKER_01: Okay.
- 10:19SPEAKER_00: So again, go ahead.
- 10:21SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say that's a really great point, is I think that because we are so future focused or in the moment, like just just go, go, go, go, go, the reflection part is huge.
- 10:36SPEAKER_00: And I like that, you know, when when somebody works with a coach, it it helps them go through that reflection process and ask the right questions.
- 10:44SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes we know what it feels like.
- 10:47SPEAKER_00: We know we're overwhelmed, but what exactly is going on?
- 10:51SPEAKER_00: And it's nice to hear those questions like what is most frustrating?
- 10:54SPEAKER_00: Like let's just pause.
- 10:55SPEAKER_00: Pause, stop, stop, reflect.
- 10:58SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm feeling overwhelmed.
- 11:00SPEAKER_00: Why am I feeling overwhelmed?
- 11:02SPEAKER_00: Well, the music is really loud right now.
- 11:05SPEAKER_00: Okay.
- 11:06SPEAKER_00: So music is loud in the morning, or you know, let's just turn it down or have different kinds of music in the morning.
- 11:11SPEAKER_00: Or maybe there's no music and we need music in the morning to help with the flow of things.
- 11:16SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I really like the reflection part.
- 11:19SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
- 11:20SPEAKER_01: And where that can also start is the night before.
- 11:24SPEAKER_01: So we talked about this in last week's episode of the brained up, the night before brained up, right?
- 11:31SPEAKER_01: So for me, I do this while when I'm already in bed, right?
- 11:36SPEAKER_01: For some people, it might make sense to do after the kids are down and you are sitting on the couch with a glass of wine or, you know, watching Netflix or decompressing or whatever, to take a minute and be like, okay, tomorrow is Thursday.
- 11:50SPEAKER_01: I really want to meet that friend, um, make it to that meeting, um, go to that yoga class, whatever it is.
- 11:57SPEAKER_01: Okay, what do I need to do to set myself up for that?
- 12:00SPEAKER_01: Right.
- 12:01SPEAKER_01: So I use that yoga class as an example because I have a lot of clients that are like, I want to get up and go to the gym, but there's just there's too many barrier to entries.
- 12:11SPEAKER_01: What are they?
- 12:12SPEAKER_01: Well, I get up and I'm in my pajamas and I come downstairs and I get my coffee and then it's like kind of cozy and it's like, okay, that's your first barrier to entry.
- 12:20SPEAKER_01: Put on your clothes immediately, but you gotta have them laid out.
- 12:24SPEAKER_01: Right.
- 12:25SPEAKER_01: So by looking at, oh yeah, there's that class tomorrow that I really wanted to take.
- 12:28SPEAKER_01: All right, we're laying out the yoga clothes.
- 12:30SPEAKER_01: Again, this is not a time to beat yourself up or anything like that.
- 12:33SPEAKER_01: If you don't make it to the yoga class, not the point.
- 12:35SPEAKER_01: Nobody's dying.
- 12:37SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
- 12:37SPEAKER_01: Right.
- 12:37SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 12:38SPEAKER_01: We just want to set ourselves up for that.
- 12:40SPEAKER_01: So um, for me, I, you know, I live in Germany now.
- 12:44SPEAKER_01: I go home to the States to to visit.
- 12:46SPEAKER_01: And when I'm in the States, I have really early morning calls, like 5 a.m.
- 12:50SPEAKER_01: Because my people are, my clients are over here.
- 12:53SPEAKER_01: So what I would do then is I would emotional support water bottle already on my desk, full of water.
- 13:01SPEAKER_01: That one's right here somewhere.
- 13:02SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 13:02SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
- 13:03SPEAKER_01: It was already set up.
- 13:05SPEAKER_01: I would have, I would go ahead and lay out what makeup I was gonna use.
- 13:09SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna use this concealer, I'm gonna use this blush, I'm gonna use this mascara, I'm gonna use this lip gloss, I would already have it laid out on my, you know, bathroom sink, whatever.
- 13:18SPEAKER_01: I would have my um, I get really cold.
- 13:20SPEAKER_01: So I always have like a bit of a shawl, already have that laid over the chair, right?
- 13:26SPEAKER_01: Already ready to go.
- 13:27SPEAKER_01: I've already thought about, all right, I've got a busy morning, I'm working straight pretty much from 5 a.m.
- 13:32SPEAKER_01: to 10 a.m.
- 13:33SPEAKER_01: I need something to eat.
- 13:35SPEAKER_01: What is something that I could eat that's going to give me a little bit of protein, a little bit of fiber?
- 13:41SPEAKER_01: All right, I'm gonna grab one of those small things of cottage cheese and I'm gonna throw some chia seeds in there.
- 13:46SPEAKER_01: Sweet.
- 13:46SPEAKER_01: I can eat that in five minutes.
- 13:49unknown: Right?
- 13:49SPEAKER_01: Again, not ideal.
- 13:50SPEAKER_01: I don't love to sh, you know, shove food in my face.
- 13:53SPEAKER_01: But sometimes we've got to make so just having a little bit of forethought of what does tomorrow look like, writing it down.
- 14:00SPEAKER_01: I really need to make sure I go to the bank tomorrow.
- 14:02SPEAKER_01: And then I've got um, you know, that call with Jessica, and then I need to make sure that I get that follow-up sent out, whatever it is, so that when you wake up in the morning, you have a blue.
- 14:13SPEAKER_00: So you so you don't just use the journal brain dump as just like, oh, my thoughts, blah.
- 14:19SPEAKER_00: It's it's out.
- 14:21SPEAKER_00: You actually use that as an organizational system as well.
- 14:24SPEAKER_00: Yes.
- 14:25SPEAKER_01: So I have a couple of different and people people use this vocabulary interchangeably.
- 14:30SPEAKER_01: This for me is a brain dump.
- 14:32SPEAKER_01: What is going on tomorrow?
- 14:34SPEAKER_01: That is very specific.
- 14:35SPEAKER_01: That is what's on my calendar.
- 14:37SPEAKER_01: I look at, I open my calendar.
- 14:38SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
- 14:39SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, I've got German class tomorrow.
- 14:41SPEAKER_01: I forgot about that, whatever it is.
- 14:43SPEAKER_01: So taking a look at my actual calendar and then pen to paper or the reminders app, depending on how I'm feeling.
- 14:50SPEAKER_01: We got two different places for things, and that is it.
- 14:52SPEAKER_01: No more.
- 14:52SPEAKER_01: We don't have a thousand notebooks anymore.
- 14:54SPEAKER_01: We got two places, that's all.
- 14:56SPEAKER_01: Um, now if I need to get my thoughts out of my head because I'm feeling anxious and feeling overwhelmed, for me, that's more of a thought download.
- 15:04SPEAKER_01: So I have different vocabulary for different things.
- 15:07SPEAKER_00: That's good.
- 15:08SPEAKER_01: So the thought download.
- 15:10SPEAKER_00: Thought download also with your brain dump.
- 15:13SPEAKER_00: Notebook.
- 15:14SPEAKER_00: Like is it a separate notebook?
- 15:16SPEAKER_01: No, ma'am.
- 15:17SPEAKER_01: It's all in there.
- 15:18SPEAKER_01: Oh, I can see everybody's brains exploding.
- 15:21SPEAKER_01: Yes.
- 15:22SPEAKER_01: Because I go, this is all I got these at Farns and Noble, and they were like in that eight, you know, that uh there's three of these that come for, I don't know, five bucks, eight bucks, whatever.
- 15:32SPEAKER_01: I write the date at the top and then I just go.
- 15:37SPEAKER_01: Now, if that makes you super uncomfortable, don't worry.
- 15:41SPEAKER_01: Get another notebook for that thought download and then tear it up and throw it away at the end.
- 15:45SPEAKER_01: That's totally fine.
- 15:46SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you can do this however works for you.
- 15:49SPEAKER_01: I don't, I can't keep up with I will have one million different things.
- 15:54SPEAKER_01: Um, and I don't like it.
- 15:56SPEAKER_01: Right.
- 15:57SPEAKER_01: That's why I said, like, this is my brain dump notebook.
- 16:01SPEAKER_01: And I know if I have if my my my to-dos are in one of two or two places.
- 16:09SPEAKER_01: Reminders app.
- 16:10SPEAKER_01: Those are the only two places they're gonna be.
- 16:12SPEAKER_01: I've put them somewhere now.
- 16:13SPEAKER_01: My calendar is a little bit different.
- 16:15SPEAKER_01: That's again a little bit of a different system.
- 16:17SPEAKER_01: It's a different workflow type of thing, right?
- 16:19SPEAKER_01: Yeah, calendar is a bit more concrete.
- 16:21SPEAKER_01: These are static, they don't move.
- 16:22SPEAKER_01: We've got other people relying on us.
- 16:24SPEAKER_01: I've got to be here at this meeting that goes on my calendar.
- 16:26SPEAKER_01: I've got other to-dos that goes either in the reminders app or pen and paper, depending on what I feel like.
- 16:32SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that works really well for you.
- 16:34SPEAKER_00: Do you have a digital online um organizational system?
- 16:38SPEAKER_00: Like I use Notion.
- 16:39SPEAKER_00: So I think like you're writing things down in a brain dump.
- 16:43SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
- 16:43SPEAKER_01: Notion stressed me out.
- 16:45SPEAKER_01: I couldn't do it.
- 16:46SPEAKER_01: I tried.
- 16:46SPEAKER_01: I wanted to love it.
- 16:47SPEAKER_01: I wanted to love it so much.
- 16:49SPEAKER_01: But it was it, the the learning curve or something was too big for me.
- 16:52SPEAKER_01: And I prefer Trello, um, but I don't use that that much either.
- 16:56SPEAKER_01: I really use the reminders app.
- 16:58SPEAKER_01: So um there is a reminders app on the iPhone, and then there is a version of it on Google as well.
- 17:05SPEAKER_01: You can break things down into different lists, you can have sublists, you can color code things out, you can add hashtags.
- 17:12SPEAKER_01: So maybe I'm looking at marketing stuff, hashtag marketing.
- 17:15SPEAKER_01: And then when I go into my reminders app, I just hit that hashtag and it brings up everything that I've got.
- 17:19SPEAKER_01: Everything is right there.
- 17:21SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 17:22SPEAKER_01: So um I need really simple, like I said, we we've got old school, old school pen and paper and/or like a step up from the notes app.
- 17:32SPEAKER_01: Like that's that's really um for me having too much other, I think that's my notion kind of like um overwhelmed me a little bit, even though I think once you get to once you get to learn it.
- 17:43SPEAKER_00: Once you do, it's great.
- 17:44SPEAKER_00: But I totally it is a barrier to entry because it is so it can do so many different things, it's overwhelming.
- 17:51SPEAKER_00: Um finding, yeah.
- 17:54SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
- 17:55SPEAKER_01: Um so quickly back to our um our kind of evening prep.
- 18:02SPEAKER_01: So why this works for us is that like big, you know, have to do all these things at night and you know, all this stuff.
- 18:11SPEAKER_01: We're looking at really little things that are specific to you and what's derailing your morning.
- 18:16SPEAKER_01: So the things that I've thrown out here, you might be like, that's not a that doesn't affect me.
- 18:20SPEAKER_01: That's not a thing for me.
- 18:21SPEAKER_01: So we don't want this big, huge, consistent, necessary night routine because that's gonna trigger resistance and or avoidance, right?
- 18:31SPEAKER_01: Oh, so we we just want to really look at where do I have control to make my mornings feel better?
- 18:38SPEAKER_01: How do I want to feel in the morning?
- 18:41SPEAKER_01: That's a great question.
- 18:42SPEAKER_00: How do I want to feel in the morning?
- 18:44SPEAKER_00: So, not what do I want to do?
- 18:47SPEAKER_01: How do I want to feel?
- 18:49SPEAKER_01: Won't always happen.
- 18:50SPEAKER_01: You're like, I'm gonna feel calm.
- 18:52SPEAKER_01: Well, you've got small children, so good luck with that one, right?
- 18:55SPEAKER_01: So maybe that's not a great thing.
- 18:57SPEAKER_01: It's I want a bit more clarity.
- 19:00SPEAKER_01: I would like to feel a bit clearer.
- 19:02SPEAKER_01: Okay.
- 19:03SPEAKER_01: Great.
- 19:04SPEAKER_01: Give yourself a blueprint.
- 19:05SPEAKER_01: And that's what this is.
- 19:07SPEAKER_01: That's what that nightly brain dump is giving yourself a blueprint for the next day so that when you wake up in the morning, it's not the world is my oyster.
- 19:17SPEAKER_01: I can do whatever.
- 19:18SPEAKER_00: I love that feeling though.
- 19:19SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love the feeling.
- 19:21SPEAKER_00: And then I look at my calendar going, oh, the world is not my oyster today.
- 19:25SPEAKER_00: Maybe tomorrow.
- 19:26SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I I work with a lot of other entrepreneurs and that kind of thing.
- 19:31SPEAKER_01: And so they make their own schedules.
- 19:33SPEAKER_01: And unstructured time is one of our biggest hurdles because it sounds great.
- 19:39SPEAKER_00: Unstructured time, so much freedom.
- 19:43SPEAKER_00: We want freedom.
- 19:45SPEAKER_01: And that's fine as long as you know what to do with the freedom.
- 19:48SPEAKER_01: And if that is reading a book and scrolling and Netflixing, amazing.
- 19:53SPEAKER_01: I love that for you.
- 19:55SPEAKER_01: But you've got to really look at is that actually what you want to do to move the needle forward?
- 20:00SPEAKER_01: Or is it gonna keep you stuck in overwhelming anxiety?
- 20:04SPEAKER_01: Right.
- 20:05SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times, if we wake up with, well, I could do that, you know, email sequence and I could work on that funnel.
- 20:12SPEAKER_01: And um, I told that friend I would record that thing for her, and then I'm gonna build that resource.
- 20:18SPEAKER_01: And then you're like, oh my gosh, I don't even know where to start.
- 20:20SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna look at my phone for a minute.
- 20:24SPEAKER_00: And then gone.
- 20:25SPEAKER_00: It because the executive dysfunction is it's hard to prioritize which one is most important.
- 20:31SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
- 20:31SPEAKER_00: They're all important right now, and they're all things I want to do.
- 20:34SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
- 20:36SPEAKER_00: All right, so we're gonna pause right there and continue this conversation next week.
- 20:42SPEAKER_00: She has so much more to say.
- 20:43SPEAKER_00: I thought the episode was ending, and there's 20 more minutes of just fantastic ideas and thoughts and tips from Leah.
- 20:51SPEAKER_00: So join us next week as we have Leah on the show again.
- 20:56SPEAKER_00: If you're looking for, we've got a dopamine hit list.
- 20:59SPEAKER_00: You can go to theadhdmom.com slash dopamine to get your free dopamine hit list.
- 21:06SPEAKER_00: Well, I hope you have found this episode really helpful.
- 21:10SPEAKER_00: I'd love for you to share it with a friend.
- 21:12SPEAKER_00: Um, find us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube.
- 21:16SPEAKER_00: We're all over the place.
- 21:17SPEAKER_00: We just want to grab this amazing community and come together and just help each other figure out how to navigate this amazing life.
- 21:25SPEAKER_00: Until next time, have a beautiful day.