Latest / Andy Stanley Sermons / Andy Stanley - Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets, Part 2_ The Integrity Question

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Andy Stanley - Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets, Part 2_ The Integrity Question · Andy Stanley Sermons

0:00
Speaker 1: So here's a disturbing thought to get things kicked off today.
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Speaker 1: The easiest person, the easiest person to deceive is the
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Speaker 1: person in the mirror. The easiest person to deceive is
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Speaker 1: the person in the mirror. And it shouldn't be this way.
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Speaker 1: And we'll talk about why it's this way in a minute.
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Speaker 1: It shouldn't be this way. But for the moment, I
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Speaker 1: just I just want you to let this sink in.
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Speaker 1: Actually I would like to kind of rub it in.
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Speaker 1: You think about it. You have talked yourself into to
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Speaker 1: the point of today's message. You have deceived yourself into.
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Speaker 1: You have sold yourself on every bad decision you have
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Speaker 1: ever made worse. You are the mastermind. I mean, you
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Speaker 1: thought this stuff up. You are the mastermind behind behind
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Speaker 1: most of your most regrettable decisions, whether they were financial, relational, professional, academic,
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Speaker 1: you were there for all of them. Just to make
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Speaker 1: it worse, you've probably done more to undermine your own
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Speaker 1: success and your own progress than any other individual on
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Speaker 1: the planet. Now, granted, there were outside pressures and there
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Speaker 1: were other voices, people promising you stuff, trying to sell
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Speaker 1: you stuff, But in the end, you decided. And the
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Speaker 1: reason I know so much about you as well. I
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Speaker 1: know so much about me because I'm equally guilty like you.
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Speaker 1: There's a sales associate that lives in my head, and
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Speaker 1: his voice sounds a lot like my voice. And although
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Speaker 1: his logic is completely flawed and his sales pitches are
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Speaker 1: amateur at best, I fall for him anyway. So what's
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Speaker 1: up with that? And what's wrong with me? And what's
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Speaker 1: wrong with you? And what's wrong with us? And to
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Speaker 1: the point of today's message, what can we do about it?
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Speaker 1: So today is part two of our series, Better Decisions,
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Speaker 1: Fewer Regrets. And as you may know, I recently published
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Speaker 1: a book under this title, and for that reason, I
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Speaker 1: was a bit hesitant to turn this into to message
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Speaker 1: content or to a series. Less people think I'm just
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Speaker 1: trying to sell books, but in fact, in fact, this
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Speaker 1: series is designed to provide you with the content of
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Speaker 1: the books, so you don't have to read the book.
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Speaker 1: Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets. Now, the big idea of this
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Speaker 1: series is the often overlooked relationship between good questions, good questions,
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Speaker 1: and good decisions. Good questions and good decisions. Good questions
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Speaker 1: actually set us up for good or better decisions, and
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Speaker 1: then there's a sense in which our decisions are really
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Speaker 1: never any better than the questions that we ask or
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Speaker 1: actually don't think to ask. And I'm convinced, I'm absolutely
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Speaker 1: convinced that if you will ask, if you will ask,
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Speaker 1: and if you will answer honestly and then act on
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Speaker 1: your answer to the five questions in this series, you
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Speaker 1: will in fact make better decisions, and you will live
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Speaker 1: with fewer regrets. Your life will be better, and the
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Speaker 1: people who look to you depend on you, their lives
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Speaker 1: will be better as well, because, and this is so important,
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Speaker 1: Let's face it, we aren't the only people impacted by
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Speaker 1: our decisions, and we aren't the only people impacted by
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Speaker 1: our regrets either. And parents, grandparents, if you will teach
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Speaker 1: your kids, and if you will teach your grandkids to
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Speaker 1: ask these five questions, I promise their lives will be
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Speaker 1: better as well. Now, last time we were together, when
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Speaker 1: we kicked this whole thing off, I suggested that you
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Speaker 1: memorize a saying from the Book of Proverbs. So if
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Speaker 1: you memorize it, I would like for you to raise
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Speaker 1: your hand. If you did, well, that's great about you
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Speaker 1: know about it looks like maybe ten to fifteen percent
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Speaker 1: of you did. Now The reason for the homework assignment
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Speaker 1: is that this simple saying from the Book of Proverbs
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Speaker 1: actually reminds us to consider what's coming, not just what's
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Speaker 1: right in front of us. I'm ultimate, not just the
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Speaker 1: immediate outcome of our decisions. And here's the verse in
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Speaker 1: case you missed the first part or in case you
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Speaker 1: haven't committed it to memory yet. And this is a
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Speaker 1: versus I said last time. I memorized early on, and
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Speaker 1: I taught my kids early on. Here's what the writer
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Speaker 1: of Proverbs says. The prudent see danger, and when they
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Speaker 1: see danger, they do the appropriate thing. They take refuge.
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Speaker 1: The simple or the naive, they just keep going. They
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Speaker 1: just ignore what they see, and they pay the penalty
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Speaker 1: when when deciding what to do. Prudent people are wise
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Speaker 1: people take into consideration the long term results of whatever
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Speaker 1: options they're considering. But simple people, naive people not so much.
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Speaker 1: They fall for the amateur sales pitches of the salesperson
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Speaker 1: in their head. They opt for now over later. So
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Speaker 1: here's the thing. The five questions we're going to discuss
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Speaker 1: in this series will bring you into conflict with the
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Speaker 1: sales associate that lives in your head, and you need
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Speaker 1: to know that ahead of time, because the salesman in
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Speaker 1: your head wants you to act fast and want you
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Speaker 1: to act now, to focus on the immediate rather than
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Speaker 1: the ultimate. And this verse is a reminder to look
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Speaker 1: beyond the moment and not to look away from potential
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Speaker 1: danger associated with an option you find yourself selling yourself on.
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Speaker 1: These five questions will slow you down, and they're going
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Speaker 1: to create the perspective you need to see danger coming
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Speaker 1: to connect the dots. So let's jump in the first
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Speaker 1: of our five questions, question number one. I call it
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Speaker 1: the integrity question, the integrity question, and to introduce To
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Speaker 1: introduce this question, we need to drop back to my
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Speaker 1: opening somewhat disturbing observation that the easiest person to deceive,
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Speaker 1: the easiest person to deceive is the person in the mirror,
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Speaker 1: which means which means the most difficult person to lead
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Speaker 1: is the person in the mirror as well. You cannot
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Speaker 1: lead yourself well as long as you are deceiving or
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Speaker 1: lying to yourself. Have you ever tried to lead a liar.
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Speaker 1: It's pretty much impossible to lead a liar in a
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Speaker 1: professional setting, in the marketplace. At work, you have to
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Speaker 1: fire a liar. So today I'm going to challenge you
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Speaker 1: to fire the dishonest version of you and hire a
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Speaker 1: new you, and honest you, a you that tells you
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Speaker 1: the truth even when it makes you feel bad about you. Now,
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Speaker 1: you know from experience that dishonesty erodes credibility, right, I mean,
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Speaker 1: and in a similar way, and this is kind of
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Speaker 1: odd to think about similar way, When we are dishonest
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Speaker 1: with ourselves, it erodes credibility within ourselves. And I know
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Speaker 1: that sounds strange, but think about it this way. When
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Speaker 1: we lie out loud, and I'm not calling you a liar,
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Speaker 1: but you know, occasionally we all kind of stretch the truth.
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Speaker 1: But when we lie out loud, what do we do
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Speaker 1: immediately on the inside, in our heads, in our hearts,
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Speaker 1: we justify the lie. And who do we justify the
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Speaker 1: lie to? To ourselves? We have to otherwise we're at
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Speaker 1: odds with ourselves, something that us sane people can't do
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Speaker 1: for very long. So what we do is we create
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Speaker 1: a narrative that justifies our lie or our half truth.
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Speaker 1: And then this is the crazy part, we choose to
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Speaker 1: believe it, which really is crazy. I mean, why would
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Speaker 1: you why would we believe a narrative we basically just
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Speaker 1: made up. Well. The non technical, non clinical answer to
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Speaker 1: that question is this, you are a sucker. For you,
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Speaker 1: you can convince yourself of just about anything, and so
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Speaker 1: can I. I mean, as my AA friends, my NA friends,
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Speaker 1: and my one friend has taught me, rigorous honesty. Rigorous
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Speaker 1: honesty is the first rule of recovery. Rigorous honesty with
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Speaker 1: ourselves and others is the first rule of recovery. Rigorous
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Speaker 1: means extremely thorough, exhaustive, sometimes exhausting, meticulous, rigorous honesty with
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Speaker 1: ourselves and others. That's the first step to getting better
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Speaker 1: and making progress, to make better decisions, to avoid unnecessary regret,
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Speaker 1: You've got to tell yourself the truth. You have to
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Speaker 1: tell yourself the truth, even if it makes you feel
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Speaker 1: bad about your self. Now, what I'm gonna say next,
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Speaker 1: I realize runs contrary to the grain of our culture.
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Speaker 1: But as you know, I'm not really here to be liked,
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Speaker 1: and so let me just put it out there. There
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Speaker 1: are worse things. There are worse things than feeling bad
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Speaker 1: about yourself. For starters, denying something bad about yourself, refusing
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Speaker 1: to acknowledge what's bad about it ourselves is bad for ourselves.
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Speaker 1: So to make the best decision, you have to be
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Speaker 1: honest with yourself, even if it makes you feel bad
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Speaker 1: about yourself. Or to put it another way, you will
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Speaker 1: never get You will never get where you need to
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Speaker 1: be until you acknowledge where you actually are. Besides, besides,
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Speaker 1: if you aren't honest about why you're choosing what you're choosing,
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Speaker 1: think about this, you'll have a difficult time taking responsibility
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Speaker 1: for the outcome of that decision. And we have an
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Speaker 1: adjective for people who refuse to take responsibility for the
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Speaker 1: outcomes or their decisions, don't we We call them ir responsible.
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Speaker 1: Do you want to be irresponsible? If we're dishonest with
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Speaker 1: ourselves when we're making a decision, we will be dishonest
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Speaker 1: with ourselves about where to lay the blame for the
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Speaker 1: outcome of our bad decisions. In this way, this is important.
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Speaker 1: In this way, dishonesty leads to irresponsibility. And you know
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Speaker 1: what you've seen that play out in the lives of
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Speaker 1: other people. Now, the fact that everything I've said so
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Speaker 1: far is pretty much obvious, you probably didn't write any
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Speaker 1: of that down. It doesn't make any of this easy,
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Speaker 1: and it doesn't make it easy to get this right.
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Speaker 1: In fact, your first step may be being honest with
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Speaker 1: yourself about the fact that you're not always honest with yourself,
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Speaker 1: But whatever the case, to decide your way into a
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Speaker 1: better future, and that's what this whole series is about.
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Speaker 1: To decide your way into a better future, you've got
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Speaker 1: to develop the habit of telling yourself the truth, specifically
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Speaker 1: the uncomfortable truth about why you choose what you choose
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Speaker 1: to do. And that leads us at last to the
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Speaker 1: first of our five questions. And the first question to
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Speaker 1: ask any time you're making a big decision is the
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Speaker 1: integrity question. And the question is simply this, Am I
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Speaker 1: being honest with myself? Am I being honest with myself? Now?
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Speaker 1: You may not owe it to anyone else, but you
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Speaker 1: owe it to yourself to be honest with yourself about
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Speaker 1: the decisions and the choices that you make, why you
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Speaker 1: do what you do. If you want to justify your
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Speaker 1: decisions to other people, that's fine, I guess, but there's
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Speaker 1: no win. There is no win in justifying your decisions
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Speaker 1: to yourself. Besides justifying. You know what justifying is? Justifying
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Speaker 1: is really just a lying? And why would we just
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Speaker 1: a lie to ourselves, So just tell yourself the truth. Now.
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Speaker 1: It actually helps to ask this question out loud. In fact,
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Speaker 1: all five of these questions it helps if you ask
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Speaker 1: them out loud, but this one in particular, and it
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Speaker 1: actually helps to ask this question twice. But on the
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Speaker 1: second round you should add a word, and some of
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Speaker 1: you already know what that word is. Am I being
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Speaker 1: honest with myself? Really? Am I being honest with myself? Really?
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Speaker 1: And the reason we have to add really is because
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Speaker 1: we are so prone to deceive ourselves. Why am I
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Speaker 1: doing this? Really? Why am I avoiding him? Really? Do
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Speaker 1: I keep postponing that? Really? Why do I keep making excuses? Really?
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Speaker 1: Why did I say yes? Really? Why did I choose
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Speaker 1: to wear this? Really? Why did I choose to purchase
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Speaker 1: or least that? Really? Why did I move in? Really?
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Speaker 1: Why am I moving out? Really? Why won't I get help? Really?
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Speaker 1: Here's the thing. You may not be good at selling
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Speaker 1: anything to anybody else, but when it comes to selling
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Speaker 1: yourself on a bad idea, you're amazing me too. Our
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Speaker 1: greatest regrets are associating with things, opportunities, and people we
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Speaker 1: sold ourselves on. I mean, just think back to your
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Speaker 1: last bad relationship decision. You were in love, or you
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Speaker 1: were in lust or something. Whatever it was, you were
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Speaker 1: in it, and your mama tried to warn you, your
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Speaker 1: best friend tried to warn you, but you assured them
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Speaker 1: you knew exactly what you were doing. And then looking back,
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Speaker 1: you wonder what was I doing? What was I thinking?
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Speaker 1: Which is the problem. You weren't thinking, you were selling.
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Speaker 1: You were selling yourself. And the same is true for
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Speaker 1: your most recent bad purchasing decision. Once you had it
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Speaker 1: in your or once you had it in your hand,
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Speaker 1: or once you had your heart set on it, on
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Speaker 1: whatever it was, it was pretty um much over. It
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Speaker 1: was like something took over and the next thing you know,
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Speaker 1: you're handing your credit card to someone you don't even
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Speaker 1: know to buy something you couldn't or perhaps shouldn't even afford.
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Speaker 1: And why because you sold yourself. So here's a little tip.
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Speaker 1: In fact, if you don't remember anything else from our
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Speaker 1: time together today, I want you to remember this. As
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Speaker 1: soon as soon as you start selling yourself on anything,
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Speaker 1: you should hit pause. The moment you begin selling yourself,
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Speaker 1: you should hit pause. And here's why, because we rarely
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Speaker 1: have to sell ourselves on a good idea when it
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Speaker 1: comes to good ideas or good decisions, we usually just know.
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Speaker 1: So let's just stop with all that. Just just tell
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Speaker 1: yourself the unfiltered truth. Be honest with yourself. I mean,
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Speaker 1: come on, it's not gonna hurt well, you may hurt
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Speaker 1: your own feelings momentarily, but in the end, you're gonna
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Speaker 1: be better off. We all are, right, I mean, lights
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Speaker 1: will come on. And granted, lights can be terrifying, just
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Speaker 1: ask the roaches and the rats, right, But light is
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Speaker 1: a disinfectant and truth is as well. They go hand
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Speaker 1: in hand. So bring your narratives, and bring your justifications,
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Speaker 1: and bring your excuses into the light, and just tell
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Speaker 1: yourself the truth. You're going to make better decisions. Now.
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Speaker 1: If everything were equal, if we were kind of wired
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Speaker 1: to decide what's best for us, this would be really easy.
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Speaker 1: In fact, if that were the case, we'd be pretty
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Speaker 1: much done here. Just tell yourself the truth. I'll see
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Speaker 1: you next time, right, But things aren't equal, and as
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Speaker 1: it turns out, choosing what's best, choosing what's best isn't
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Speaker 1: what's natural. Now, naturalist and you may be a naturalist
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Speaker 1: or materialist. They have an explanation. You may have an
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Speaker 1: explanation for why it's so difficult for us to tell
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Speaker 1: ourselves the truth. Christians have a different explanation, but everybody
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Speaker 1: pretty much agrees that we come into the world with
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Speaker 1: a natural propensity on selling ourselves what we want to do,
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Speaker 1: rather than what we ought to do. And this is
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Speaker 1: not a recent observation. In fact, this is kind of interesting.
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Speaker 1: The seventeenth seventeenth century English philosopher and statesman Francis Bacon.
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Speaker 1: You probably studied about. Francis Bacon is cool. He made
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Speaker 1: the following observation. This is a little bit long, but
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Speaker 1: this is from the seventeenth century. Here's what he said.
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Speaker 1: In that seventeenth century way of writing, he says, the
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Speaker 1: human understanding, when it has once adopted an opinion and others,
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Speaker 1: once we kind of come to what we want to do,
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Speaker 1: draws all things else to support and agree with it.
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Speaker 1: In other words, once we've kind of made up our
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Speaker 1: mind what we want to do, we become a magnet
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Speaker 1: for anything that supports what we've decided we want to do.
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Speaker 1: And then he says this, and though there be a
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Speaker 1: greater number and weight of instances to be found on
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Speaker 1: the other side, yet he says, yet it Yet these
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Speaker 1: it either neglects or despises, or else, by some distinction,
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Speaker 1: sets aside and rejects. That's just a fancy seventeenth century
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Speaker 1: way of describing what we call confirmation bias. That we
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Speaker 1: are naturally open, or we naturally open ourselves up to
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Speaker 1: anything that cons terms what we already think and what
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Speaker 1: we already want to do, and we instinctively I love
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Speaker 1: the way he says it, we instinctively set aside or
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Speaker 1: reject anything to the contrary. Again, just think back to
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Speaker 1: your last bad relationship decision. You were warned, and it
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Speaker 1: wasn't that you wouldn't listen. It was more like you
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Speaker 1: couldn't listen. I mean, think back to that recent bad
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Speaker 1: purchasing decision. It's so clear now, But in the moment,
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Speaker 1: Francis was correct. The human understanding, the human understanding when
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Speaker 1: it has once adopted an opinion, I've already made up
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Speaker 1: my mind, draws everything else? Are all things else to
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Speaker 1: support and agree with it? And though he says, and
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Speaker 1: though there be, though there be a greater number and
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Speaker 1: weight of instances to be found on the other side.
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Speaker 1: In other words, even though there's plenty of arguments to
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Speaker 1: the contrary, yet these are minds either neglects or despises,
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Speaker 1: or else by some distinction, sets aside and rejects. That's
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Speaker 1: been going on for a long time. And this is
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Speaker 1: helpful in terms of an observation, but it doesn't really
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Speaker 1: tell us why this is the case, nor does frances
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Speaker 1: tell us what to do about it. But almost twenty
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Speaker 1: five hundred years before Francis Bacon wrote these words, a
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Speaker 1: Judean court advisor turned profit made a similar observation. But
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Speaker 1: fortunately for us, he added a bit of helpful explanation
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Speaker 1: and the context for his observation. I think it's both
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Speaker 1: fascinating and instructive. So here's the backstory. Around six hundred BC.
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Speaker 1: Around six hundred BC, Jeremiah, who's the author of the
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Speaker 1: Old Testament book. Jeremiah served as a pretty much a
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Speaker 1: professional coach or like a court advisor to a series
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Speaker 1: of Judean kings whose careers honestly would have gone much
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Speaker 1: smoother and whose lives would have lasted much longer had
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Speaker 1: they listened or taken Jeremiah's advice. But of course the
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Speaker 1: advantage of being a king is that you don't have
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Speaker 1: to take anyone's advice. Now, ancient Judah was essentially like
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Speaker 1: the bottom half of what we consider the Holy Land,
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Speaker 1: so that's where this story takes place. Jeremiah actually began
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Speaker 1: his coaching career with young King Jehoiakim. King Jehoiakim was
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Speaker 1: a pretty much a teenager at the time, and at
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Speaker 1: the time he became king, the Judah was actually paying
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Speaker 1: an annual tribute or a financial tribute to Babylon, who
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Speaker 1: in return would then provide military support and then pretty
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Speaker 1: much allowed Judah to run her own affairs. So after
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Speaker 1: three years of paying this tribute, King Jehoakim decides, you
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Speaker 1: know what, enough of that, and he quit making payments
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Speaker 1: and then worse than that, he changed banks, meaning he
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Speaker 1: declared loyalty to Babylon's art drival Egypt. And when Jeremiah,
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Speaker 1: his adviser, heard about Johoyakim's decision, he begged him, he
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Speaker 1: begged him to reverse course. This wasn't just a bad decision,
17:48
Speaker 1: this was a dangerous decision as well, because the Mighty
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Speaker 1: King Nebukanezer was already in a really foul military mood
17:56
Speaker 1: after being defeated by the Egyptian army just a few
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Speaker 1: months earlier. So Jeremiah rightly assumed that Nebu Caonezer would
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Speaker 1: well never Caanezer would love to find a place to
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Speaker 1: vent his frustration, and a vassal state that had just
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Speaker 1: sworn loyalty to his enemy Egypt, well Judah would be
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Speaker 1: the perfect target. And not only was Jehoiakim's decision foolish
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Speaker 1: and dangerous, Jeremiah assured him that, well, this decision is
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Speaker 1: actually in direct opposition to God's will for the people
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Speaker 1: and for the nation as well. But Jehoiakim not impressed.
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Speaker 1: He's the king. Besides, Johia Kim had long since abandoned
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Speaker 1: the ways of Judaism. He was a merciless tyrant whose
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Speaker 1: sexual appetites led him far outside the moral prohibitions outlined
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Speaker 1: in the Jewish law. So he did what kings do.
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Speaker 1: He just ignored Jeremiah, and sure enough, King Nebukonezer did
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Speaker 1: exactly what Jeremiah predicted he would do. He came looking
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Speaker 1: for his tribute. Never Canezer and his armies laid siege
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Speaker 1: to the city of Jerusalem for three months, and then
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Speaker 1: his army entered the city, put jehoak him in chains,
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Speaker 1: and then marched him back to the city of Babylon
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Speaker 1: and added him to his king collection. Now I've mentioned
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Speaker 1: this before, but it's so fascinating. King Nebuconezzer collected kings.
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Speaker 1: Some people collect coins, some people will collect baseball cards.
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Speaker 1: King nebucan Ezzer collected kings. Whenever he conquered a territory,
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Speaker 1: he would capture the king alive, take the king back
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Speaker 1: to Babylon and add him to his king collection. And
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Speaker 1: then on special occasions when he wanted to show off
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Speaker 1: how powerful he was, he would bring all of these
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Speaker 1: kings out like show and tell and parade them around
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Speaker 1: the courtroom in golden chains. And each king would walk
19:35
Speaker 1: with his hand on the shoulder of the king in
19:36
Speaker 1: front of him. Because in addition to being chained, King
19:40
Speaker 1: nebucon Ezer had all of these kings blinded. Now back
19:45
Speaker 1: to our story. Before leaving Jerusalem, King nebucon ez Aar
19:49
Speaker 1: crowned Jehoa Kim's son jehoah Chen to be the next king.
19:55
Speaker 1: He was a whopping eighteen years old. And then three
19:59
Speaker 1: months later, and I'm going to skip a bunch of
20:01
Speaker 1: history here, three months later, Nevikanezer changes his mind. He
20:04
Speaker 1: comes back to Jerusalem and he adds Jehochen too his
20:08
Speaker 1: king collection as well, which at this point you're thinking,
20:11
Speaker 1: nobody's probably really anxious to be the next King of Judah, right,
20:15
Speaker 1: But every king needs every kingdom needs a king. So
20:18
Speaker 1: Nebknezzar appoints Johokhin's uncle Zedekiah to be the next King
20:24
Speaker 1: of Judah. He was twenty one years old. But what
20:28
Speaker 1: Zedekiah didn't know, in fact, what nobody knew, is that
20:31
Speaker 1: he would be the last king of Judah because, like
20:35
Speaker 1: the kings before him, he would not listen to sound advice.
20:40
Speaker 1: In fact, one of the Jewish historians said this about him.
20:44
Speaker 1: He did evil, He did evil in the eyes of
20:46
Speaker 1: the Lord, his God, and he did not humble himself
20:50
Speaker 1: before Jeremiah the Prophet, he just wouldn't listen. Once his
20:54
Speaker 1: mind was made up, much like most of us. Once
20:57
Speaker 1: his mind was made up, he could not hear, He
20:59
Speaker 1: could not here, neither could he embrace the wise counsel
21:02
Speaker 1: of the Prophet. He did exactly. He did exactly what
21:05
Speaker 1: King Johoakim had just done. He refused to pay tribute
21:10
Speaker 1: to Babylon, and once again Jeremiah pleads with Zedekia to
21:14
Speaker 1: change his mind. This was not going to end well
21:16
Speaker 1: for the king. It's not going to end well for
21:18
Speaker 1: his family, it's not going to end well for the nation.
21:21
Speaker 1: But again, kings will be kings. And when Jeremiah realized
21:24
Speaker 1: Thatekia wasn't listening, he did something really interesting. He took
21:27
Speaker 1: his message to the streets of Jerusalem, encouraging the citizens.
21:31
Speaker 1: He said, to the citizens, Nebukanezer's going to show up,
21:34
Speaker 1: and when he shows up, the best thing to do
21:36
Speaker 1: is to throw open the gates and allow him into
21:39
Speaker 1: the city. Well, when Zedekiah found out what Jeremiah was
21:42
Speaker 1: doing as he marched through town, you know, warning people
21:45
Speaker 1: and giving people this advice, he had Jeremiah thrown into
21:48
Speaker 1: a dry cistern just to shut him up because he
21:51
Speaker 1: was scaring the children. Actually, he was scaring the entire population.
21:55
Speaker 1: And they should have been scared, because, sure enough, just
21:58
Speaker 1: as he predicted, again, Nebuconezzer himself shows up at the
22:03
Speaker 1: gates of Jerusalem, surrounds the city and waits and waits
22:09
Speaker 1: and waits in an effort to starve the inhabitants into submission.
22:13
Speaker 1: When King Zedekiah realized his mistake, what do you think
22:16
Speaker 1: he did? He went looking for Jeremiah, and he begged
22:18
Speaker 1: Jeremiah to ask God to deliver the city, and Jeremiah
22:22
Speaker 1: assured him King Zedekiah is too late for that. The
22:26
Speaker 1: fate of the city has been sealed. Their only hope
22:29
Speaker 1: was to throw open the gates and beg King Nebuconezzer
22:33
Speaker 1: for mercy, but Zeddekiah knew there would be no mercy
22:36
Speaker 1: for him or his family, so he snuck out of
22:39
Speaker 1: the city at night with his bodyguard and his children.
22:41
Speaker 1: Yet another really bad decision. He was eventually captured, and
22:45
Speaker 1: then he was forced to watch as his children were
22:48
Speaker 1: butchered one by one by Nebucinezer's soldiers, and that would
22:52
Speaker 1: be the last thing King Zedekiah would ever see. He
22:56
Speaker 1: was blinded, chained, and marched back to battle to join
23:00
Speaker 1: Nebukhonezer's king collection. So the next time somebody tells you
23:05
Speaker 1: the Bible is boring, you just tell them the story
23:07
Speaker 1: of King Setekai right now. Here's the thing. When you
23:10
Speaker 1: hear a story like that, or when you read a
23:12
Speaker 1: story like that, or maybe when you watch something like
23:14
Speaker 1: that play out in real life, you can't help but think,
23:18
Speaker 1: what were they thinking? How could anybody be so clueless,
23:22
Speaker 1: so deceived, And fortunately for us, Jeremiah, who was there
23:26
Speaker 1: for this entire adventure, this entire tragedy, watched the whole
23:29
Speaker 1: thing play out, he answers that question for us. He
23:32
Speaker 1: explains why we're so prone toward self deception, why we're
23:35
Speaker 1: so good at selling ourselves on a bad idea or
23:38
Speaker 1: bad options. Here's what he writes. The heart is deceitful
23:43
Speaker 1: above all things. Your heart, my heart, his heart, her heart,
23:51
Speaker 1: even those precious children of yours their hearts. The heart
23:54
Speaker 1: is deceitful above all things. Now, Jeremiah chose his adjective carefully.
23:59
Speaker 1: There's a difference between being dishonest and being deceitful. Right,
24:03
Speaker 1: dishonest is well. Dishonest is a lot easier to spot
24:06
Speaker 1: than deceitful. I'm dishonest is just straight up not honest,
24:10
Speaker 1: but deceitful. Deceitful usually includes a mix of truth and
24:14
Speaker 1: half truth and untruth. Deceitful is difficult to detect. You've
24:19
Speaker 1: met You've met dishonest people who just weren't shrewd enough
24:22
Speaker 1: or smart enough to deceive you. They were just too obvious.
24:25
Speaker 1: But deceitful people they're the dangerous ones, and our hearts
24:29
Speaker 1: are deceitful. Our hearts are dangerous. It's why we're so
24:34
Speaker 1: convinced and at times so convincing. We don't merely lie
24:38
Speaker 1: to ourselves. We deceive ourselves. And here's how it works,
24:42
Speaker 1: or here's the way I think it works. Once your heart,
24:45
Speaker 1: once your heart or my heart gets wrapped around something
24:47
Speaker 1: that we want, I think our hearts send a message
24:49
Speaker 1: to our brain and says, hey, brain, I want this.
24:53
Speaker 1: Go figure out a way to justify it. And our
24:55
Speaker 1: brains are really smart, that's why we call them brains right,
24:58
Speaker 1: and our brains know that whereas it's difficult to justify
25:02
Speaker 1: a want, it is not difficult to justify a need.
25:07
Speaker 1: So the first thing the brain does is it upgrades
25:10
Speaker 1: the messaging to something far more sophisticated than a want.
25:13
Speaker 1: The brain says, you need this. And back to what
25:16
Speaker 1: Francis Bacon said and what Jeremiah said. Once we're convinced,
25:20
Speaker 1: Once we're convinced we need something, it is so easy
25:23
Speaker 1: to sell ourselves on it. Before long, we have a
25:25
Speaker 1: list of justifications for buying it, drinking it, asking it out,
25:29
Speaker 1: inviting it in. But the reasons we used to sell ourselves.
25:32
Speaker 1: Let's be honest. The reasons we used to sell ourselves,
25:35
Speaker 1: they're not really reasons, they're justifications. And in most instances,
25:39
Speaker 1: if we're honest, if we slow down and think about it,
25:43
Speaker 1: we know, but we fall for it anyway. We're so
25:47
Speaker 1: easily deceived by our own hearts. The heart is deceitful
25:52
Speaker 1: above all things. But he wasn't finished, and he says,
25:57
Speaker 1: our hearts are beyond cure. There's no cure. This is
26:03
Speaker 1: a permanent condition. You don't outgrow it, we don't out
26:07
Speaker 1: mature it. We can't fix it. We're doomed. Okay, we're
26:10
Speaker 1: not doomed, but a permanent condition requires constant supervision, right,
26:14
Speaker 1: a proactive response. And then Jeremiah wraps this up by
26:18
Speaker 1: saying something or describing something I guess we've all experienced.
26:22
Speaker 1: He says this, the heart is deceitful, the hardest, deceitful
26:25
Speaker 1: ab of all things, and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
26:30
Speaker 1: And that's a good question, because I certainly don't. I
26:34
Speaker 1: don't even understand the decisions I make, even though I
26:37
Speaker 1: know everything I'm sharing with you and have known it
26:39
Speaker 1: for quite some time. Who can understand? Who can understand it.
26:43
Speaker 1: Apparently nobody does. Nobody can, which explains why we've all
26:47
Speaker 1: said at some point along the way, I don't understand
26:51
Speaker 1: I don't understand why I did what I did, which
26:53
Speaker 1: is just another way of saying I don't understand why
26:57
Speaker 1: I decided what I decide. I don't understand why I
27:02
Speaker 1: chose what I chose. And this explains why we do
27:06
Speaker 1: the very thing we advise other people not to do.
27:08
Speaker 1: It's why the person in the mirror is so hard
27:11
Speaker 1: to lead. They just won't tell you the truth unless
27:14
Speaker 1: unless you force them to. You gotta pin them down.
27:17
Speaker 1: You got to look them in the eye, and you
27:18
Speaker 1: have to ask, are you being honest with yourself? Are
27:22
Speaker 1: you being honest with yourself? Really? And the sooner you
27:27
Speaker 1: embrace and the sooner you embrace this disturbing fact about yourself.
27:30
Speaker 1: And I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
27:32
Speaker 1: but the sooner you embrace this fact about yourself, the
27:35
Speaker 1: sooner you'll be open to information and advice that conflicts
27:38
Speaker 1: with where your heart is taking you. The more suspicious
27:42
Speaker 1: and cautious you'll be when that salesperson inside of you
27:46
Speaker 1: starts selling you so this week, this week, before you decide.
27:52
Speaker 1: I want to encourage you to have sort of a
27:54
Speaker 1: heart to heart with yourself, and I think you should
27:57
Speaker 1: do it in the mirror I do. And you should
27:59
Speaker 1: ask your self out loud, and you should use your name, Andy.
28:03
Speaker 1: Are you being honest with yourself? Are you being honest
28:06
Speaker 1: with yourself? Really? And then just tell yourself the truth,
28:11
Speaker 1: even even if you don't plan to act on it,
28:15
Speaker 1: because you owe it to yourself to know. You owe
28:18
Speaker 1: it to yourself to know, even if it points you
28:20
Speaker 1: in a direction you don't intend to go. And this
28:23
Speaker 1: is where the conflict is because we think, and this
28:26
Speaker 1: this is pretty much true, that if we are honest
28:29
Speaker 1: with ourselves, we're going to feel like we need to
28:30
Speaker 1: hold ourselves accountable to do what we know we ought
28:33
Speaker 1: to do. And that's absolutely true. But I'm giving you
28:35
Speaker 1: permission not to do that. Just begin with being honest
28:38
Speaker 1: with yourself. It won't hurt to know. But here's something
28:42
Speaker 1: you do know, what you don't know, what you won't know,
28:47
Speaker 1: what you refuse to know can certainly hurt you. So
28:51
Speaker 1: just be honest with yourself. Most people aren't don't be
28:57
Speaker 1: most people. So I would love to challenge you to
29:01
Speaker 1: make a decision today. I would love for you to
29:04
Speaker 1: make this decision. I will not lie to myself. I
29:08
Speaker 1: will not lie to myself even when the truth makes
29:11
Speaker 1: me feel bad about myself. I will not lie to
29:15
Speaker 1: myself even if the truth, even with what I discover,
29:17
Speaker 1: makes me feel bad about myself, because there are worse
29:20
Speaker 1: things than feeling bad about myself, and that is deceiving
29:23
Speaker 1: myself about something about myself that I need to change.
29:27
Speaker 1: So would you ask yourself, am I telling myself the truth?
29:32
Speaker 1: Or am I selling myself a regret? Am I telling
29:36
Speaker 1: myself the truth? Or am I selling myself a regret?
29:40
Speaker 1: Am I being honest with myself? Really? So, as we
29:44
Speaker 1: wrap up, I'd like to get this kicked off for
29:48
Speaker 1: some of you on not all of you, perhaps, but
29:50
Speaker 1: some of you, And I'd like to just ask a
29:52
Speaker 1: few questions, and most of these questions, maybe none of
29:56
Speaker 1: these questions will intersect with your current circumstances. Perhaps a
30:00
Speaker 1: couple of them will. And if nothing else, here's an
30:02
Speaker 1: example of the kinds of things we should ask ourselves.
30:06
Speaker 1: So you're ready, why do you continue to go out
30:11
Speaker 1: with him? Really? Why do you continue to go out
30:16
Speaker 1: with her? Really? Why did you file for divorce. Really,
30:23
Speaker 1: why are you taking that job? Really? Why are you
30:27
Speaker 1: quitting your job? Really? Why did you move in? Really,
30:34
Speaker 1: what's the real reason. What's the real reason you don't
30:37
Speaker 1: call your kids? What's the real reason you don't call
30:41
Speaker 1: your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister. Why won't
30:47
Speaker 1: you tell her? Why won't you tell him the truth
30:50
Speaker 1: about what's going on? Really? It's brutal, isn't it. It's terrifying,
30:56
Speaker 1: it's clarifying, and ultimately it's liberating and it's empowering. So
31:02
Speaker 1: be honest with yourself. It doesn't come naturally, That's what
31:05
Speaker 1: Jeremiah says. But most things that are good for us,
31:08
Speaker 1: they don't do they. Jeremiah was right. The heart is
31:11
Speaker 1: deceitful above all things, and it is beyond cure. This
31:14
Speaker 1: is a permanent condition. But now you know, and now
31:18
Speaker 1: you know what to do about it. And the prudent
31:20
Speaker 1: when they see danger, when they see trouble coming, they
31:23
Speaker 1: do something. And trouble is always just one bad decision away.
31:28
Speaker 1: So would you decide? I will not lie to myself
31:32
Speaker 1: even when the truth makes me feel bad about myself.
31:36
Speaker 1: I will not lie to myself even when the truth
31:39
Speaker 1: makes me feel bad about myself, I will tell myself
31:42
Speaker 1: the truth really ass