Latest / Alignment With Jenn / (49) 5 HABITS TO BECOME SPIRITUALLY ATTRACTIVE ✨ The Woman Who Shifts Any Room

Transcript

(49) 5 HABITS TO BECOME SPIRITUALLY ATTRACTIVE ✨ The Woman Who Shifts Any Room · Alignment With Jenn

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Hello and welcome to this episode of the Alignment with
0:02
Jen podcast. Today we are going to be talking
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all about becoming extremely spiritually attractive.
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I love this topic because I think with social media, there's
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so much emphasis on looks and plastic surgery and there's like
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this whole new trend of looks maxing.
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And I personally think that people are completely missing
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what actually attraction is and what actually makes somebody
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attractive. And that's what I want to talk
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about in this episode. I want to talk about what
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actually makes you energetically, spiritually
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attractive because frankly, that's what we are actually
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attracted to. Looks are amazing.
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Looks are beautiful, right expressions of a person, but
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there can be the most beautiful person in the world and you
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cannot be attracted to them if spiritually and energetically
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they are not in a place that feels really good.
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The woman who walks into a room and is able to shift the field
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with her energy is extremely spiritually attractive.
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She's the person that people want to have a conversation
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with, right? People want to ask for her phone
1:03
number. Maybe they want to just, you
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know, keep being friends with her.
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What makes someone that kind of person that people want to
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connect with? I don't believe it really has
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very much to do with looks. I think it has so much more to
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do with the energetic essence of a person and I want to share
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with you how you can actually utilize that in your life to
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attract in more amazing people into your life.
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So what does it mean to be spiritually attractive?
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It doesn't mean to be drop dead gorgeous or a runway model or
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anything like that. What it actually means is to be
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in a coherent state, man. And as I said, that I felt all
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this energy come down. Spiritual attractiveness.
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It's not about performance. It's about being in alignment
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with who you say you are and who you actually are.
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It's this element of authenticity.
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And what I mean by coherence, I've talked about this in some
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previous episodes, is our energetic field is felt by
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everyone that we interact with on an unconscious level.
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And when we are in an incoherent state, what happens is it
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creates these waves that are very, very, very jagged and
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uncomfortable. And people can feel that.
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So incoherent states would be like stress, anxiety, fear,
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frustration. Those states are felt by other
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people. What's really interesting is I
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just saw this video the other day about how dogs can actually
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sense this as well, and they can sense it through the hormones
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and how people smell, but as well as the energy.
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Dogs are so in tune to energy. And what happens is dogs will
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often go, and this was like a scientific study that they did
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to the most anxious person in the room because they'll want to
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like help them calm down. And so the dog will actually be
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able to feel it. The same is true for people.
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We feel it as well, but typically we're not going toward
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the most anxious person in the room.
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Typically we are drawn to the most coherent person in the
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room, the person who's in a coherent state, which is
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happiness, joy, love, peace, calm, right?
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Regulated nervous, nervous system, we're very drawn to that
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because it makes us feel safe, it makes us feel good.
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Our state, how we hold ourselves, our physiological
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state, right? Our energy communicates a lot to
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other people. What's interesting is when we
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are in that regulated state, it actually influences our body
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language as well, right? Our body language will typically
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be more open, our face will be more relaxed, our breathing will
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be more expanded, our eyes will be softer versus like when we
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are in a more anxious and contracted state.
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You know, our arms might be in, we might be covering our torso a
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little bit or our arms are crossed or maybe we're kind of
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hunched in or are, you know, we're like giving a little bit
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of a skeptical gaze or something, right?
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That's a little extreme or our jaws clenched.
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Those kinds of things are the physical representation of
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what's actually going on energetically.
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And so when we can shift energetically, we can shift the
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way that we're actually able to show up and the presence that we
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carry with us. And this people feel it.
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This is why two people, one person can completely copy
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another person's piece of content that did really well and
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it will not do well for them because it's like a piece of
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paper with nothing behind it. There's no energetic backing.
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The energy is 99%. The 1% is what you're actually
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experiencing in the physical. And so being attractive,
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spiritually attractive, is all about that 99%.
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It's who you are energetically. And we cannot fake energy.
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We can't pretend it to be something that we're not
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energetically. So part of the reason that
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people become very energetically and spiritually attractive is
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because our states, our emotional states are contagious
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to other people. When we are around someone,
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energy will move from high to low.
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So if you are around someone who's in a low vibrational
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state, say you go to an event and you sit by somebody and
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they're in a really low vibe state, you feel that, right?
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It almost kind of feels like your energy is being drawn away
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because it actually is. And we want to strengthen our
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energy so much so that way that doesn't happen.
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But when we are able to have really elevated energy, to
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protect our energy, to create boundaries around our energy, to
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have that higher frequency energy, it is contagious.
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And other people really, really feel it and they want to be
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around you. That leads to more business
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deals. It leads to more being asked
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out. It leads to better friendships,
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right? It expands our entire life.
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Energy, who we are energetically, is a massively
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important aspect of our lives, if not everything, because it
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what we attract and who we attract.
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And if you notice you're attracting a lot of people that
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you really don't want to be attracting, that's something you
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got to look at on the inside, right?
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If you keep attracting partners who don't treat you well, it
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doesn't mean that you don't treat people well, but it means
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that part of you believes that's what you are meant to attract.
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OK, so noticing what you are attracting, if you attract a lot
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of people you absolutely adore, you're probably operating in a
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lot of that positive energy, right?
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Another piece of this equation as well is our micro signals.
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So as I've talked about in previous episodes, our nervous
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system is constantly scanning for information.
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It's noticing these micro expressions that happen in 125th
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of a second on someone's face. And what's crazy is we know if
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someone is, you know, trustworthy very, very quickly,
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or if somebody is, if something feels a little bit off very
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quickly because we're scanning for these quick micro
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expressions, it might just be this flicker of an expression
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that makes us feel like, okay, there's something incongruent
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here. We're not consciously thinking
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this, but we're unconsciously knowing it.
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And when we are truly in alignment, right, we are the
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same on the inside as we are on the outside.
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When we are an authentic expression of ourself, that is
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more attractive because everything lines up, right?
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The cues that we're sending out, these micro expressions that we
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sending out, our eye contact, our tone.
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I noticed that as people grow on their spiritual path, their
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faces will change. Their voices will change.
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Even Doctor Joe has done studies and he'll share about this at
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his retreats that over a week of meditation, 6-8 hours a day, I
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don't really know exactly of meditation, people's faces will
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actually change. That's because their energy is
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changing, right? And matter follows energy, our
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physical matter, what we feel like, what we're experiencing
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physically, any physical ailments or symptoms are the
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result of energy. The energy always comes first,
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OK? And so when you spend a week in
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meditation or you do a lot of spiritual work on yourself, you
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change energetically and your face will actually change, your
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voice will actually change. You know, if you look at photos
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of me from even five years ago, I look like a completely
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different person because I've done in a lot of spiritual work
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on myself and I don't know, I think it's pretty cool.
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I feel more attractive in my mid 30s than I did in my early 20s.
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When society says you're more attractive because energetically
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I probably am, spiritually, I am, right?
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Attractiveness is not dependent on age.
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It is dependent on your energy. It's dependent on who you are
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spiritually and that spiritual coherence within your system.
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Now that we've kind of talked about the basis of this, let's
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talk about what it actually looks like to be spiritually
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attractive and how to become spiritually very attractive to
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people. This is like just your energy
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draws people to you. Essentially, people are just
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drawn to your energy and they want to be around you and they
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treat you well and they like you.
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I think it's kind of what everybody wants.
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So know that you are a vessel for the light.
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Your soul is a vessel and it's meant to be filled with the
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light of the universe, the light of the Creator.
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When you pour into yourself as the feminine, you strengthen
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your vessel, and a stronger vessel is able to hold more
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light. So light is blessings, it's
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love, it's abundance, it's all of the things that you want to
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manifest in your life, all of the juicy feelings that you want
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to feel, all of the amazing things, the fulfilment.
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And when you pour into yourself, when you take care of yourself,
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you do two things. Not only do you strengthen your
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vessel so spiritually you are more attractive, but you also
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communicate unconsciously to other people.
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I am valuable. I am high value because we take
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care of things that are valuable, right?
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I talked to so many women and something that often they'll
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talk about is, you know, like if I don't get dressed and you
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know, I stay in my yoga pants all day for too many days in a
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row and I don't do my hair and my makeup, I don't feel as good.
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And that's because we unconsciously know when we put
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that effort into ourselves, it's not just about feeling and
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looking our best, but it's about actually pouring into ourselves.
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So taking care of ourselves. And a pattern I see with so many
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women I work with, because I work with so many really high
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achieving women, is that they prioritize everybody else and
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everything else, right? They prioritize their families,
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they prioritize their careers, they prioritize their
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friendships, they prioritize what their next door neighbor
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needs over themselves. And this creates this imbalance
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because a strong vessel draws in everything that she needs.
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She draws in all of these blessings.
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But if you're not taking care of yourself, if you're saying
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everybody else is more important than me, by neglecting your own
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needs, by not making time for yourself, for your skin care,
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your routine, right, for yourself to go to the gym, for
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these things that matter to you, you're unconsciously
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communicating that you don't feel as valuable as all these
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other things that you're putting time into.
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It's kind of sounds harsh, but it's the truth.
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Notice where you place your attention and your energy is
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what you value. So notice if you are not making
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time for yourself, you are not valuing yourself as much as you
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could. And so flipping that
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relationship is really going to help not only you feel better,
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but it's going to make you more spiritually attractive.
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This is why there was a book, this must have been in like the
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2000s, but it was like men love bitches.
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And the reason that book was so popular is not because men love
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bitches, but is because people love people who pour into
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themselves because it elevates your value.
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We love when people take care of themselves unconsciously because
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it communicates value, right? If you get a brand new car and
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it's the nicest car you've ever bought and it is beautiful and
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you love it, you typically take really good care of it versus if
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you bought like an old car that's about to die and is
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already dirty anyway, I think that's all I'll say on that.
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Another thing that makes you a spiritually attractive is not
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being needy. Neediness shrinks your vessel.
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It shrinks your ability to receive what you need.
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It shrinks your field and wholeness expands it.
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So what do I mean by that? Wholeness is essentially knowing
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that you are whole and complete as you are.
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Yes, there are things that you probably want to work on and
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change, but knowing on a soul level that you are fundamentally
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worthy of the things that you want, worthy and deserving.
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And you don't have to prove yourself.
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You don't have to earn this level of worthiness and this
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level of wholeness. When we become needy, what it is
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is it's essentially saying, and you can be needy of anything.
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You can be needy of love, you can be needy of other people.
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You can be needy of approval. You can be needy of people to
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like your content and you know, follow you and all that kind of
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stuff. But what neediness does is it's
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very repelling because it unconsciously says like, I don't
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feel whole on my own. And because I don't feel whole
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on my own, I need you to show me that I'm whole.
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And it feels like this yucky energy, like this unconscious
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taking energy. This is why some people get so
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turned off by sales, right? Because it can feel really,
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really needy. And if somebody really needs the
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sale, then it feels needy. It feels like they want
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something from you. Versus wholeness is like, you
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know what? I know because of my connection
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to the universe, to the Creator, that I'm going to be be provided
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for. I have this absolute certainty.
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I have this absolute faith. And so it's cool if you buy my
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product or not. It doesn't really change it for
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me because I know all of my abundance comes from the
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universe anyway. I don't really care.
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If you wanna go out with me again, I'd like to go out with
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you, right? You're cool.
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But if you don't, that's fine too, because I know that the
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right person is coming for me. I always say this to my best
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friend that basically I think the only thing that we need to
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do is just have faith. I think that's the reason we're
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here is just to have faith that we are provided for, that we are
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taking care of, and everything just works out.
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There's this Deepak Chopra book and it's called the Seven
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Spiritual Laws of Success. It's a really, really good book.
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And in it he talks about detachment and I love the way
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that he talks about it in that book.
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And what he says is that basically for you to receive
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anything in the universe, you have to let go of your
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attachment to it. It's significantly harder for us
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to receive things when we're so attached and we're so gripping
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of them because we're vibrating at a different frequency.
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When I really, really need something, I'm living in the
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lack of the fact that I don't have it versus when I can let go
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and be like, yeah, it's cool if you want to go out with me, it's
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cool if you don't. Whatever.
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I'm detached from it, right? And that's a very spiritually
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attractive quality because it comes from this place of
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wholeness, of knowing I'm whole and complete as I am.
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I know I'll be provided for. So let's end with the five
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qualities of a spiritually attractive woman.
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OK? So what makes a woman very
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spiritually attractive, besides the things we've talked about S
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#1, is presence. So when we are very
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dysregulated, when we are anxious, when we're in that
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mode, it's hard for us to be present because we're focused on
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this, that and the other. But when somebody, when you have
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a conversation with somebody and they are truly present with you,
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it feels amazing. It's so attractive.
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It is such a beautiful quality. And what often happens is as
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women, we are constantly monitoring, you know, this isn't
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always the case, but it's something that I've seen to be
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very common. We're monitoring for what people
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think of us. You know, did that sound stupid?
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Was that an OK thing to say? You know, what is this person
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thinking? What are they like?
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We're monitoring all these things outside of us, and that
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makes us not as present. It's almost like this quiet
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comes over people when somebody is really present with them,
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because our deepest desire as people is just to feel seen and
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to feel heard. And so when you can be really,
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really present with someone, it is so attractive.
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And they don't know why, but they're like, Dang, I just want
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to spend more time with that person.
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That person is amazing and it can literally be.
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You don't say anything, you're just listening, but you're
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actually truly listening. You're not pretending to be
16:09
present and then over here right in your grocery list, you're
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actually present with them. Practice it.
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I promise you will be blown away if you sell anything.
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When you are present with your customer, watch out.
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Your sales are going to go up because presence allows you to
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notice these subtle changes, these subtle cues, these subtle
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things that people say, and it allows you to actually connect
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with people. And that's what people really,
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really want. So the second one is wholeness.
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She doesn't need everybody to agree that she's good enough.
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She doesn't need other people's approval.
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She doesn't need him to text her back for her to feel good enough
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or worthy or whole. She knows she's innately whole,
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and she doesn't need anything to prove it.
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She knows she's whole because on a soul level, she's connected to
17:00
this greater force than her, and so she knows she's whole and
17:04
complete. She doesn't need to be any
17:06
different than she is. That doesn't mean that she can't
17:09
grow and change and evolve. She knows that she is whole,
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that there's this wholeness to her.
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She's not trying to get anything.
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She's not trying to perform. She's not trying to make
17:20
anything happen or orchestrate the result.
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She's just allowing it to happen because she knows that she will
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be provided for as she needs. The third one is heart energy or
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warmth. A lot of society today is really
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living in our heads, right? We're thinking, we're doing a
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lot of analyzing, we're doing a lot of survival, you know, beta
17:41
brain wave stuff. But when we can drop our energy
17:44
into our heart and feel this warmth, feel this connection for
17:47
people, that actually expands our energy field.
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And people feel it. They feel this coherence in our
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system when we are in our hearts, when we are focused and
17:58
our energy comes from our it allows us to not be as armored
18:02
or defensive. We're not crossing our arms.
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We're actually open to connection.
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We're open to other people. We're more generous, more, more
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loving. This warmth goes a long way.
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So another quality of a spiritually attractive woman is
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authenticity. She is actually who she says she
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is. She's not trying to perform.
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She's not trying to be anything that she's not.
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She's actually authentically herself.
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She's not hiding. She's not pretending to be
18:29
someone that she's not. She's not watering down her
18:32
interest. She's not so uncomfortable with
18:34
other people's judgements that she can't voice her own
18:36
opinions. She's not shape shifting based
18:39
on the room that she's in. She's just who she is.
18:41
People can take it or leave it, and that's OK with her.
18:44
One of my friends the other day said to me, he's like, I'm
18:46
actually so, so, so grateful that people don't like me now.
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And I was like, that's interesting, Tell me more.
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And he was like, well, he's like, I used to be such a people
18:56
pleaser. He's like that.
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It would drive me nuts that people wouldn't like me.
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And so everybody liked me, right?
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Because I would make sure they liked me.
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And he's like, now it just shows me how much I've grown when
19:05
people don't like me because I actually let them not like me
19:08
because they're seeing me for who I really AM.
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And he's like, I think that's awesome.
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I think that's really cool to really appreciate it when people
19:16
don't like you because there's always going to be people who
19:19
don't like you, right? On this podcast, I get all these
19:22
really lovely comments and then once once in a while I'll get a
19:24
comment like la, la, la, la, la, right?
19:26
Something, I don't know, kind of ridiculous or whatever.
19:29
I just like, it just kind of makes me chuckle and like giggle
19:33
a little bit because I'm like, it doesn't matter how much you
19:36
pour into something, how much you love something, how much you
19:38
give, there's always going to be people who don't like you no
19:40
matter who you are, right? There's people who don't like
19:43
Mother Teresa, who is one of the historically best people,
19:47
whoever live basically like one of those giving people, people
19:49
don't like her. You're never going to please
19:51
everyone, and setting that as your goal is insane, so you
19:55
might as well be your authentic self and actually attract people
19:58
who authentically like you, don't like this orchestrated,
20:02
made-up version of you that you have to keep pretending to be
20:04
anyway. And then we've got devotion, so.
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The spiritually attractive woman moves from devotion, meaning she
20:13
does things because she loves them.
20:15
She moves. It's almost like, imagine this
20:17
current of love and she's moving because of this current of love.
20:21
She's following the things in her life that she loves because
20:25
she loves them, and that is so attractive.
20:29
I was at the same dinner party I was at last night, and there's
20:31
this woman that I met and she hosts events locally in San
20:34
Diego. And I thought she was so cool.
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And I told her I was like, I want to be your friend, we
20:38
should hang out because she was talking all about her business
20:42
and she obviously loves it. And I loved that energy of
20:46
somebody who's so passionate, who's so dedicated, who's so
20:49
devoted, who loves what she does.
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And she's following that path of what she loves.
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And she said something similar to what I've said when somebody
20:57
asked her how she started her business.
20:58
And she's like, I don't know, she's like, I did yoga teacher
21:01
training and then I just started getting all of these, you know,
21:03
people who wanted to work with me because she loves it, right?
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And it made sense to me because I see how she talks about it.
21:09
She's so lit up. So follow those things in your
21:12
life that you really, really love.
21:14
So how to strengthen your spiritual attractiveness?
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So number one is regulate. Let's talk about if you're at an
21:21
event, OK, what you can do. So one is regulate before you
21:25
enter the room. So often times people will go
21:28
into an event trying to get something.
21:30
They're like, I hope a cute guy asked me out.
21:33
I hope I find someone you know, to call my customer, whatever
21:36
new that is that needy, that's that needy attached energy and
21:41
it pushes things away. So regulate, calm your nervous
21:45
system. Tell yourself I am whole and
21:46
complete as I am. I'm good, right?
21:50
I'm good. I don't need anything from any
21:51
of these people, but I'm excited to connect with them and that's
21:56
it. That's where I'm going to leave
21:57
that. OK, Regulate before you enter a
22:00
room, bring your best self to the table.
22:03
And when you feel like you can't stay regulated anymore, when you
22:07
feel like you're kind of getting needy, like, oh, I want some
22:09
attention. I've been there.
22:11
You leave that party, you go home.
22:13
You don't stay trying to get something, get something, get
22:16
something that's not an attractive, spiritually
22:18
attractive energy. You're never going to miss out
22:21
when you're in that energy. You're going to miss out being
22:24
in that energy. So leave, don't stay the entire
22:27
time. Let yourself have that boundary
22:29
with yourself. The second one to strengthen
22:31
this is clear, the heavy frequencies.
22:34
So the heaviest frequencies are shame, resentment, blame, guilt,
22:39
those heavy, heavy frequencies that we can carry for lifetimes.
22:44
Clearing those and doing that work to clear them is going to
22:47
elevate your energy. It's going to elevate your
22:48
frequency, and it's going to allow you to show up as that
22:51
most authentic version of you, right?
22:54
So those fears, those doubts that are preventing you from
22:56
going after what you really want, working through those is
22:59
going to make you so spiritually attractive, right?
23:02
You see how none of this has anything to do with how you look
23:04
or what you wear. Those are all distractions
23:07
because that's the 1%. They're important, they matter.
23:11
You want to look good, right? You want to take care of
23:13
yourself. But it's the inner, the inner
23:16
that matters so much more. If you like help with any of
23:19
this that we've talked about today, send me the Message
23:23
podcast on Instagram. My Instagram's at alignment with
23:26
Jen, and I will send you a 5 minute video about my community
23:30
where I guide you through all of this on such a deeper level
23:34
right in this podcast. If you like this podcast, this
23:36
is a little scratch of the surface of everything we can do
23:40
together. So let me give you a couple more
23:42
of these #3 is displeasure just following your joy?
23:46
Right? Following your bliss, Like what
23:48
I talked about earlier, when you follow what makes you happy, you
23:51
are happy. I know, as crazy as that sounds,
23:54
right? Instead of following what we
23:56
think is what we're supposed to do, follow what makes you happy.
23:59
And then the final one is stop auditioning.
24:03
So stop trying to perform or be something and just be who you
24:09
authentically are. That is one of the most
24:11
spiritually attractive things that you can do.
24:13
If you got nothing else from this episode, the most important
24:16
part about being spiritually attractive is just being
24:19
authentic. Because what happens is when you
24:22
are you, the people, you send out this light, this signal
24:26
energetically and the people that are here to be in your life
24:30
can actually see that signal. But when you're inauthentic, you
24:33
mask that light and they can't see you for who you're really
24:37
meant to be. So I hope you love this episode.
24:40
I will see you in the next one. Please follow and like and all
24:44
of the things so I can continue to make these episodes for you
24:47
and I appreciate you and thank you for being here.