Latest / Wesley at FSU & TSC / "Journey to the Cross :: The Judas in Us" by Howie Ashley | Sunday Service | March 8, 2026

Transcript

"Journey to the Cross :: The Judas in Us" by Howie Ashley | Sunday Service | March 8, 2026 · Wesley at FSU & TSC

• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going to continue our sermon series on our journey to the cross, which we've been doing all through Lent.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And we've been talking about different elements and different places, different stories on the road to the cross that Jesus goes through with the community.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And Howie is going to come bring us a message about Judas's betrayal of Jesus and his kiss on Jesus' cheek as we start to talk about what that looks like in our lives, how we see ourselves in that story.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what Howie's about to do is very difficult, which is to speak in front of your peers, especially in a religious setting.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: So what I what I need from you, I'm gonna make eye contact with you right now, right?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: What I need from you is not to like, oh he pick me up, he turn me around, right?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we did it earlier on, okay.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: What I need from you is to give him all the encouragement that is in your soul, right?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: All the encouragement that is in your gut because he he needs this as he comes forward.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: How he is a senior at CSD and he is going to Candler School of Theology in the fall on a Fulright scholarship.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: What am I gonna do?
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well, good morning, Leslie.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: How are we doing?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this morning I want to talk about what Ronnie just said of Judas in the Garden of Gethsemane, where Judas betrays Jesus.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Our scripture today comes from Mark 14 through 43 through 46.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's a moment where the gospel where Jesus is betrayed and arrested in the garden.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's a story of most of us well know.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: And this morning, I want to talk about what shows up not only in this story, but what shows up in our lives.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: I want to talk about the tension of control and surrendering.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because when life feels uncertain, a lot of us feel disappointing, a lot of us feel painful.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Our instinct is to have control in our life and take control.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: We try to secure our future, secure and protect ourselves.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: We try to force things the way that we want them to be.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: When I read this story about Judas, I didn't see a villain.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: I saw myself.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I think all of us see Judas in ourselves.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Let's pray.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: Gracious and faithful God, we thank you for this time to gather together in your presence.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for the gift of this day, for this community, for this opportunity to open your word.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: As we listen to this story from the Gospel of Mark, help us not to only hear the word, but also see ourselves honestly with them.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Show us the places we struggle to trust you.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: Reveal the moments when we try to take control instead of surrendering to your will.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Give us open hearts and open minds this morning.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Help us hear what your spirit is saying to us today.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: And remind us that even when we cannot see it, you are already at work in our lives.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: Guide us our thoughts, shape our hearts, and draw us closer to you.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: We pray this in the name of Jesus.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: So our scripture comes from Mark chapter 14, verses 43 and 46.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Hear now the reading of God's word.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: Suddenly, while Jesus was still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve, came with a mob carrying swords and clubs.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: They had been sent by the chief priests, legal experts, and elders.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: His betrayer had given him a sign.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Arrest the man I kiss and take him away under guard.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: As soon as he got there, Judah said to Jesus, Rabbi, and then kissed him.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: Then they came and grabbed Jesus and arrested him.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: When Brian and I were sitting down a couple weeks ago and talking about this scripture and how I might preach it, I had to be very honest with myself.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: The most, what I said, the most honest I've ever been.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it was very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I after the next week in preparing and writing of what I should say, I had a moment.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: A moment that was uncomfortable, but I needed to say, in this space, I needed to be honest with myself first.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: So can I be vulnerable, vulnerable this morning with you guys?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: Last spring semester was the hardest semester ever for me.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: My childhood dog passed away.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: I got into a car accident after that.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: But then my mental health was on thin ice.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Thin.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: I was ready to pack my bags and go home.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: But I wanted something even more.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted a leadership position here.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: A leadership position that I felt I was ready for.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: I was capable, I thought I was capable to do this.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: I believed and told myself I was the best person for this role.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: When I opened the decision email, I was shocked.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was disappointed.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: I chose to be hateful towards a lot of people in this room.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Even to myself.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: I decided to ghost them, ignore them, not speaking to them.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: They took what I wanted.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: So then I decided and thought to myself, maybe I should leave.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna pack my bags, go home, never be to what never go to Wesley anymore.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't for me.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: So uh after that, I decided to go on job searches, and I saw a church a couple minutes from here, and I decided to apply as their church ministry director.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted somewhere that would pick me for my abilities.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: Uh after I interviewed and I applied, I got a call.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: Wasn't picked.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Still was hurt all over again.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: But I wasn't just disappointed.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: I I knew that I was controlling what I thought was right for myself.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: Again, I said, I'm going to just leave, go home.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Why would I be here if no one wants me?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was trying to control my future.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I was sitting at my grandma's house a couple weeks after that, and I got a call from the church that I applied for.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it was the pastor there, Pastor Danielle, and now as I can call her as my boss, um, they wanted me to serve on their ministry intern staff.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: I was shocked.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, what?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, we want you to grow to know what ministry is for the church and to grow in ministry for yourself.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: I was shocked.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: Didn't know what to say.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Again, I was trying to grab something that I can control.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's the moment when I realized that I was grabbing control.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: But God was already working through my life ahead of me.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: And that blew my mind.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: And that and when I changed when I read this scripture with Bryant, I saw Judas and myself betraying the people I love here the most.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: My second home away from home.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: In this passage, we read that Mark tells us that a crowd arrives with swords and clubs.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: Think about that.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: This moment is in the garden, it's chaotic.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: So many people around.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: A crowd ready to arrest Jesus for what he's done.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: There's fear, there's anger, there's urgency.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone shows up ready to control the situation with swords, clubs, and force.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: But today I think those swords and clubs are different.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: I think those swords and clubs are resentment, gossip, anger, ghosting people, spite.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: When we force and hurt people, our instinct is to fight for control for what we want in our lives.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: And the instinct I discovered last spring is to fight for control.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of trusting God, I reached for my own version of swords and clubs.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Resentment, comparison, and bitterness.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: In that moment I had to admit to myself, I relate to Judas more than I thought I would.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: I am Judas.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: I betrayed people in my community through resentment.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of celebrating others, I decided to ghost them and pull away.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of trusting God, I tried to prove myself somewhere else.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: I tried to control the outcome.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: And if we're honest, I think all of us know what this feels like.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: We want to get something, not getting it.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: Then we're feeling we're overlooked.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: To feel hurt, and to react badly.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: Judas represents this moment in the human heart when disappointment turns into control.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: Then we get into the most important word in this passage.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: Judas walks up to Jesus and he says, Rabbi.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: This word matters.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's it holds some tension.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: It holds some spiritual some spiritual weight on it.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: I read it with Brian.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, this word to me feels a lot.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: Feels like he's he knows what he's about to do.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: And he knows what what's happening.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: And he says, Rabbi.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's a lot of tension.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: You can say write the right spiritual words while still resisting God in your heart.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: You can say Lord, teacher, savior, while still still trying to control your own life.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: I was sitting in Graham's house when my grandma's house when I got the call, and I had that realization.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: Rabbi.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: Realizing that something changed my perspective while getting the message and the offer.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: God was working ahead of me already.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't realize that.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: God was working ahead of me.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: So this story doesn't end with Jesus getting redeemed.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: The ending is so much bigger than that.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: We all know what betray betrayal feels like, but God's plan still continues in our lives.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: The cross still happens, salvation still comes.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: God will move us forward.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Even when we act like Judas.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: We may act with resentment.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: We may have those moments where we look like more like Judas than we want to admit.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: But even though God is still working, and sometimes we discovered that while we were still scrambling for control for the future, God was already there.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: I have three questions for y'all, but I want to I want you all to close your eyes.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Where in your life are you reaching for control?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of trusting God, where has disappointment or resentment crept in?
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: Where might God already be working ahead of you?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: Let's pray.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: Gracious God.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for the word and for the way it speaks honestly into our lives.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: We confess that there are some times when we reach for control instead of trusting you.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Moments when disappointment turns into resentment and fear causes us to grasp for our own plans and problems.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: Help us release the things we are trying to control.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: Teach us what it means to trust you more deeply.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Remind us that even when we cannot see the full picture, we're already at work in us.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: Ahead of us.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: Give us the courage to follow you with open hands and open hearts.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: You place our lives, our future, and our trust in you.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: We pray this name of Jesus.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.