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How can I rebuild after leaving? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Leaving a relationship you'd already left mentally is one thing, and living in the days and weeks after is another, and it's common to feel relief and grief at the same time, sometimes in the same hour, as it's what happens when a big part of your routine, identity, and future plans suddenly needs rebuilding from scratch.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now, when the doubt or loneliness spikes, try this.
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  SPEAKER_00: Just pause and name three things you did today that had nothing to do with the relationship, such as a conversation, a task, or even a small decision.
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  SPEAKER_00: As this acts as a quick reminder that a life outside that relationship is already running, even on the hard days.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now, a lot of the pain after leaving comes from the inner voice questioning everything, such as was it the right choice?
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  SPEAKER_00: Are you being too harsh?
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  SPEAKER_00: Will you regret this?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: So notice when that voice gets loud and try responding to yourself the way you would a friend going through the same thing.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you'd probably not tell them they're ridiculous for agreeing something that wasn't working.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: So also give yourself that same fairness and compassion.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now, a practical way to support yourself with this is by start by looking at your physical space.
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  SPEAKER_00: So photos, shared items, anything that keeps pulling you back into the relationship instead of forward.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Put them away from now.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to decide what to do with them yet.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can also start rebuilding a small routine, even something as simple as regular meals or a set bedtime, because structure gives your mind less to fill with worry.
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  SPEAKER_00: And tell at least one person what you're going through, as rebuilding alone is much harder than rebuilding with someone checking in on you.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now if weeks pass and the low mood, sleep problems, or loss of interest in things aren't easing, or you feel it getting worse, or if you feel stuck replaying a relationship on a loop in your mind, that's worth raising with your GP or a therapist for further support.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And you can head back into the app anytime for more on finding the courage to walk away.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are thinking about harming yourself or feeling safe, then please seek urgent help by contacting your local emergency number or a crisis helpline.