Latest / The Difficult Boss Podcast with Fexingo: Managing Up, Toxic Managers, and Workplace Survival / How to Manage a Boss Who Expects 24-7 Availability
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, I want to start with a number that's been rattling around my head since I saw it in Microsoft's 2024 Work Trend Index. Fifty-seven percent of remote workers said they feel pressure to respond to work messages within fifteen minutes, even outside their standard working hours. Luna: Fifteen minutes? That's basically 'reply before I even finish reading the message.' That can't be sustainable. Lucas: It's not, and yet a lot of people live with it. Today's topic is the boss who expects you to be available 24-7 — the one who sends emails at 10 PM and expects a response by 7 AM, or pings you on a Saturday and gets passive-aggressive when you don't answer until Monday. Luna: I think almost everyone has had at least one boss like that. The question is, how do you push back without looking like you don't care? Lucas: Exactly. And the first thing I want to do is reframe the problem. A lot of us assume this is about the boss being a jerk, but sometimes it's about mismatched expectations. The boss thinks 'urgent' means everything, and you think 'urgent' means the building is on fire. Luna: Right. So the fix starts with defining what actually counts as urgent. Not in your head — out loud, with the boss. Lucas: Yes. I want to borrow a concept from Andy Grove, the former CEO of Intel. In his book 'High Output Management,' he talks about setting a 'response time SLA' with your direct reports. Not for everything, but for different categories of communication. Grove proposed that you agree on a maximum response time for emails, for Slack messages, for urgent issues, and for routine stuff. Luna: That's interesting. So you'd literally sit down with your boss and say, 'If it's a real emergency, I'll reply within an hour. For standard questions, you'll hear back within four hours. For non-urgent stuff, maybe by end of next business day.' Lucas: Precisely. And the beauty is, you're not saying 'I won't work late.' You're saying 'I will work late when it genuinely matters, but let's agree on what matters.' Most bosses, when forced to articulate their expectations, realize they don't actually need a response at 11 PM for a routine question. They just never stopped to think about it. Luna: I can see that working with some bosses, but what about the ones who are genuinely addicted to work and expect you to be equally addicted? I've had a boss who would email me at midnight and then follow up at 6 AM asking why I hadn't replied. Lucas: That's a tougher case. But I'd argue you still need the conversation, just with a different framing. You can use what I call the 'quality of work' argument. You say something like: 'I want to make sure I'm giving you my best thinking, not a half-asleep response. So for anything that comes in after 8 PM, I'll respond first thing the next morning. That way I can give it the attention it deserves.' Who can argue with that? Luna: That's smart. You're positioning it as a benefit to the boss, not a complaint. And it's true — a rushed midnight answer is often worse than a thoughtful morning one. Lucas: Right. And here's a specific tactic I've seen work. One marketing manager I know — let's call her Sarah — had a boss who would send her long, rambling emails at 10 PM with multiple questions. She started replying at 8 AM with a simple structure: a numbered list answering each question, plus a one-sentence summary at the top. After two weeks, her boss actually said, 'Hey, I really appreciate how clear your responses are. It helps me start my day.' Sarah never said a word about timing. She just changed her response pattern and the boss stopped expecting late-night replies. Luna: So she basically trained the boss. That's a great example of managing up without confrontation. Lucas: Exactly. And this leads to a bigger point. A lot of the 24-7 expectation is driven by the boss's anxiety. They send a message at night because they're worried they'll forget by morning. If you show them a reliable system — like a daily summary or a set time when you review messages — you can reduce their anxiety and your own stress at the same time. Luna: That makes sense. But I want to bring up the legal side. More countries are passing 'right to disconnect' laws. France has had one since 2017. Portugal passed something similar. Even in the US, some states are starting to consider it. Does that change the conversation with the boss? Lucas: It gives you a backstop, but I wouldn't lead with 'the law says.' That can feel adversarial. However, if your company operates in a jurisdiction with those laws, you can reference the company policy that implements them. For example, if your company has a policy that says 'no expectation of response after 7 PM,' you can politely say, 'I'm following our company's guidelines on after-hours communication to make sure I'm rested and effective.' That's hard to push back against. Luna: And if your company doesn't have that policy? You're on your own? Lucas: Not entirely. You can still set boundaries using what I call the 'two-hour rule.' When you get a message after hours, don't respond immediately. Wait two hours, then reply. If the boss says 'why didn't you respond sooner?', you can say 'I saw it late — I was off. But I got back to you as soon as I could.' Over time, you stretch that window. You're training them that you're not on a leash. Luna: I like that. It's subtle but consistent. Eventually, your boss learns that you don't respond instantly, and they adjust their expectations — or they don't, in which case you have a bigger problem. Lucas: Right. And that's the honest truth. Sometimes the boss truly does expect round the clock responsiveness, and no amount of polite boundary-setting will change that. In those cases, you have to decide whether the job is worth sacrificing your evenings and weekends. But I think most bosses are more reasonable than we give them credit for — they just haven't been forced to think about it. Luna: That's a good note to end on. One last thought: I've found that when I do respond after hours, I add a line like 'No need to reply until tomorrow.' It subtly signals that I don't expect them to be on call either. It can create a culture shift. Lucas: That's a great tactic. Modeling the behavior you want to see. Alright, I think we've covered a lot of ground. If you're dealing with a boss who expects 24-7 availability, start with a conversation about response time expectations. Use the quality of work argument. And if all else fails, the two-hour rule is your friend. Luna: And if this episode helped you think through a boundary you need to set, honestly, if it was worth a coffee to you, that's the link — buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Keeps the show ad-free and lets us keep digging into these topics. Lucas: Yeah, listener support really does make a difference. We don't run ads, so it's all from people who find value in the show. Thanks for considering it. Luna: Alright, next episode we're going to look at the boss who takes credit for your work — we actually touched on it a bit today, but we'll go deeper into specific scripts you can use to reclaim your ideas. Lucas: That's a classic, and it's one of the most frustrating dynamics. We'll have practical steps for that. Thanks for listening, and we'll talk to you next time.