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Transcript

When the Numbers Don’t Work · Two Point Perspective

• 0:00
  There's been a lot of conversation lately about the cost of horse showing, and I get it because it is expensive and it's gotten so much more expensive.
• 0:10
  But every time I hear the conversation framed around how can we make the sport affordable?
• 0:16
  I keep thinking about the fact that for me, anyway, it never really was.
• 0:21
  When I was a kid, riding was so, so above what my family could afford.
• 0:27
  So I had an after school job, I babysat, I braided, I worked for my trainer, and that's how I got to do it.
• 0:34
  And I'm not saying that as one of those, well, I work for it, so everyone else should be able to do the same stories.
• 0:42
  It was because I had those opportunities.
• 0:45
  I had a trainer who let me work, I could get to the barn, I had time to babysit and braid and have an after school job.
• 0:53
  And not everybody has those options, but the reality was pretty simple.
• 0:58
  There was something that I really, really wanted to do and there wasn't enough money to do it the way I wanted to do it.
• 1:06
  And I had to figure out what I could do about the difference.
• 1:10
  And oddly enough, all these years later, I think I'm right back there again.
• 1:16
  This is two point perspective.
• 1:18
  Two riders with different viewpoints from different generations talking about the same.
• 1:26
  Reynolds, this is kind of fascinating to me because your experience with horses has been almost the complete opposite of mine.
• 1:33
  And you've always been really open about this.
• 1:36
  You said your mom has made it possible for you to do a whole lot of this.
• 1:41
  Yeah, I mean, there's no secret behind that.
• 1:44
  My mom introduced me to horses and she's always made it possible for me to have horses.
• 1:49
  And I think there was a little bit of her at some point that thought, like, maybe I would kick this little hobby at some point.
• 1:55
  Like, okay, she loves it, she's into it.
• 1:59
  High school, totally get over it.
• 2:00
  Then I didn't.
• 2:01
  And then I rode in college and rode through college and she was like, okay, like, now she's.
• 2:06
  Now it's.
• 2:07
  Now it's out of her, like.
• 2:08
  And I just kept going.
• 2:09
  And she was like, oh, my God.
• 2:10
  And I think I'm really lucky in this sense.
• 2:12
  It's not just like, my mom was like, here, do it, do whatever you want to do and send me the bill.
• 2:16
  There were expectations that she had for me in terms of what my side of the bargain was, which was, get out there, go ride.
• 2:26
  You're not going to have, like, somebody doing your work for you.
• 2:29
  Work off what you can, learn skills that you can, cut costs, like, I can Braid tails.
• 2:35
  So I'll braid my own tail or sometimes even the braider will ask me to jump in and do a couple and that would cut down my, my braiding bill.
• 2:41
  But there, and there were certain things that like expenses that were on me.
• 2:44
  So she was like get a job and figure out how to pay for X, Y and Z.
• 2:48
  But in terms of riding at the level that I was riding and competing at the level I was competing, that I would, I couldn't have done that like on the, the jobs that I had out of school and,
• 2:59
  and I mean I'm really thankful for my experience.
• 3:01
  You know, we haven't always been at the most luxurious, insane.
• 3:07
  Everything done for you, Barnes.
• 3:08
  Like that's just not how I've done it.
• 3:12
  And that's how we've made it work too.
• 3:16
  So on the one side, she's made it all possible also like being fiscally responsible about it too.
• 3:22
  If you can be fiscally responsible on horses.
• 3:25
  Haha.
• 3:25
  And that's what's so interesting because now I think it's changing again for you because I guess your mom has stepped away a little.
• 3:35
  That's.
• 3:36
  I didn't finish that thought.
• 3:37
  But that's one thing that's been really wonderful, you know, with my mom is she loves the sport and she loves the horses too.
• 3:42
  So for me to still be in it and active in the riding community and that kind of thing is fun for her also.
• 3:49
  And she gets really attached and involved with our horses, I should say.
• 3:53
  But yeah, that is changing.
• 3:55
  I have a daughter now.
• 3:56
  I've gone through unexpectedly a cancer diagnosis and have had to rely on her a ton.
• 4:01
  And that's my plan was not to have taken quite the gap that I took after I had my daughter.
• 4:08
  But it cancer had other plans.
• 4:12
  But she, her funds want to go to other things.
• 4:15
  First of all, she's retired, she's enjoying her life, she's got grandbabies all around and education is important to her.
• 4:21
  Funding a little grandbabies riding career is important to her.
• 4:25
  Teagan wants to do that.
• 4:27
  Like I said, like I said before, it's not her mentality could change, but she is not so totally into it right now.
• 4:35
  So I'm like, hey mom, mom, what about me?
• 4:40
  She's like, go away.
• 4:43
  But yeah, what my showing looks like now or will look like in the future is going to be so totally different than what it has been and it might get back to what it used to be.
• 4:57
  But right now my focus is on raising a young child, riding at home and enjoying my horse.
• 5:03
  And then if I can get to a show here and there.
• 5:06
  Perfect.
• 5:07
  But it's just.
• 5:08
  It's not the num.
• 5:09
  Like, going to a horse show with my horse is not the number one priority, and I'm okay with that.
• 5:14
  And also, about to be 33, my mom needs to go do what she wants to do.
• 5:19
  Like, she's just like, figure it out, girl.
• 5:22
  I know.
• 5:22
  I was so bummed because this winter, I guess I had.
• 5:27
  Before I got Seline, I had this big idea, and I was sort of like, I think that your mother needs to let Loki come to our barn.
• 5:38
  And you wouldn't have to pay that much money because I would help you ride him, and you could do some of the professional rides, but at least that way, he would be back in shape by the time you
• 5:49
  were ready to come back and ride, and then you could take him home again.
• 5:52
  But it was really just, you know, for the few months to get him going again.
• 5:56
  And your mother was like, I'd love to, but I need to think about college, and Reynolds needs.
• 6:03
  Needs to figure this out for herself.
• 6:06
  And I'm like, I know, Mom.
• 6:08
  I know, Mom.
• 6:09
  And not to mention, I was like, dang, girl, I had cancer.
• 6:14
  Like, my God, when you have a little.
• 6:17
  Yeah.
• 6:18
  She's like, what do you want from me?
• 6:20
  And I'm like, you know, mom, this is.
• 6:23
  This.
• 6:23
  You made this problem.
• 6:24
  This is your fault.
• 6:26
  You are the reason that I am.
• 6:28
  The way that I am.
• 6:29
  It's you.
• 6:33
  All of this is just.
• 6:34
  Oh, my God, this is so funny.
• 6:35
  I sent her.
• 6:36
  This is a sidebar about that.
• 6:38
  But why?
• 6:38
  We're all so twisted.
• 6:39
  But I sent her this hilarious sweatshirt yesterday that is embroidered with.
• 6:44
  I come from a long line of people who should have gone to therapy.
• 6:49
  See?
• 6:50
  And that's the problem.
• 6:51
  I was like, you gave me a horse instead, isn't it?
• 6:56
  And we used to think that maybe a horse was less expensive and probably a better direction, but I don't know anymore.
• 7:03
  Yeah, I don't know anymore.
• 7:06
  Which makes us come to the point.
• 7:08
  I didn't ask to grow up.
• 7:11
  I didn't even ask to be here, so.
• 7:14
  Growing up is for the birds.
• 7:16
  Tell me about what you really think that you see yourself doing in the next couple of years.
• 7:24
  Well, my hope is that I've been on Loki some in between all the different stages of the stuff I've been dealing with this year, and that's been good.
• 7:32
  It's been great.
• 7:33
  And I would hope that get him in real shape again, and then hopefully, in terms of Riding.
• 7:38
  I hope that I can get to a couple of horse shows.
• 7:40
  I.
• 7:41
  My daughter has never seen me on the back of a horse.
• 7:44
  I mean, not the shimmy too, but it's like may, you know, it would.
• 7:49
  Be good for her to see that.
• 7:51
  That's, you know, that that happens or, or whatever.
• 7:53
  But I would like to get to a couple of horse shows, but I don't necessarily think that I'm like gung.
• 7:58
  Ho.
• 8:01
  About qualifying for stuff.
• 8:03
  Like, maybe the adult championships in Kentucky would be fun.
• 8:06
  Maybe that would be a fun goal.
• 8:07
  Now that they have.
• 8:08
  I mean, I know they, we typically do the AOS, but I will not be jumping a 3, 3 jump right off the bat.
• 8:15
  So they have the adults at Pennsylvania qualify for that.
• 8:19
  So I think about how could I do some shows but not going crazy and then qualify for something cool.
• 8:27
  But I, I think enjoying myself, really enjoying my horse.
• 8:31
  I don't know.
• 8:31
  But does it look different financially for you at this point?
• 8:36
  Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 8:37
  I mean, financially, most, most of his expenses would fall on me, which is not like, it's not.
• 8:47
  Not doable.
• 8:48
  But it's certainly something that I have to plan for in a different fashion.
• 8:52
  Right?
• 8:52
  It's.
• 8:53
  It's not, hey, I'm signing up for this horse show.
• 8:56
  Okay.
• 8:56
  I've got my, you know, the things that I cover and then my mom who helps me cover the rest of it.
• 9:00
  It's covering all of it.
• 9:03
  Right, because you're saying it's not going to happen that way anymore, right?
• 9:07
  Yeah, no, it's.
• 9:08
  I mean, it's, it's change.
• 9:10
  My.
• 9:10
  I like to call her my financial backer.
• 9:13
  She's taken a step away and I don't, I mean, I don't know who she thinks she is, but.
• 9:19
  Rude.
• 9:21
  Rude.
• 9:22
  Yeah.
• 9:23
  What I see is, I mean, I'm so fortunate because I have a lot of what I need at home in terms of that.
• 9:29
  So, like, if I want to haul somewhere for a lesson or if I want to have somebody come in and teach me at home, I can do that.
• 9:33
  Like, I have a lot of flexibility in how I do that.
• 9:36
  I think it would be fun to do some clinics.
• 9:37
  I think there is a small portion of me that really, really enjoys being able to just put my hands on my horse every single day and doing things my way or on my own time.
• 9:51
  You know, I can spend way more time with him now that he's at home in 10 minutes from my house, fiddling with him, you know, pre.
• 9:59
  Post ride, whatever, taking my time, going on a little trail ride.
• 10:03
  Than I could previously because I would spend one hour going to the barn and an hour coming home.
• 10:08
  So especially with, like, a little one, I still get so much more hands on time with my horse.
• 10:14
  And it brings me an immense amount of joy to be able to do that.
• 10:18
  I think part of this whole affordability conversation, there's parts that I've been missing because there's absolutely things that we can talk about in terms of what all this costs, like horses, horse show fees, stabling training, grooms, how many
• 10:34
  weeks we're showing, all of that.
• 10:36
  But then there's this other calculation that's completely personal.
• 10:41
  Like you said, what do I want to do?
• 10:43
  What can I actually afford to do?
• 10:46
  And what happens when those two things don't match?
• 10:50
  And this became a whole lot less theoretical for me last week.
• 10:56
  I was literally walking out the door to leave for the horse show, and Joe and I were talking about how much more expensive all of this has gotten.
• 11:05
  And it has.
• 11:08
  And I said, I know that I have some money of my own that I've been using for this.
• 11:14
  And he basically said, when that's gone, that's it.
• 11:18
  And I knew exactly what he meant.
• 11:21
  He's not telling me that I can't ride anymore.
• 11:24
  He's not telling me that I shouldn't have a horse, and he's not telling me what I should or shouldn't do.
• 11:29
  He's just saying that there's a financial boundary.
• 11:32
  And immediately I started doing the math.
• 11:36
  And at roughly what I'm spending now, I probably have about two years of horse showing at this level.
• 11:43
  And then I left for the show, and I'm just going to say, ruined my horse show.
• 11:51
  Yeah.
• 11:52
  I mean, the.
• 11:54
  No one really enjoys talking about.
• 11:57
  And I really liked the way that you said that.
• 11:59
  The.
• 11:59
  Like a financial boundary, especially when it involves that you love doing and you feel like somehow you're being cut off at the knees or that there's a hard timeline on it.
• 12:10
  No one likes having that conversation and certainly like walking out of the door and then you get to drive to the horse show and really mull that over in your head.
• 12:18
  I was terrible.
• 12:19
  And I don't mean that the horse was terrible.
• 12:21
  I was terrible because suddenly all of this was going around in my head and I'm spending so much money to be here.
• 12:29
  How many more times am I gonna get to do this?
• 12:32
  And then you think, oh, my gosh, I need to make count.
• 12:35
  I think it's probably one of the worst possible things you can have going through your head when you're trying to ride a horse.
• 12:42
  Oh, yeah, for sure.
• 12:43
  Totally.
• 12:44
  I will say, certainly, like, it not being on my dime made me conscious of, you know, like, go in there and.
• 12:52
  And mean it.
• 12:54
  For sure.
• 12:55
  I'm highly competitive by nature, but also, my mom is extremely competitive.
• 12:59
  So she'd be like, if I came out being a good horseman and was like, well, these things improve.
• 13:04
  She'd be like, oh, was the horse good?
• 13:07
  I mean, she's.
• 13:08
  She.
• 13:09
  She was being sarcastic, but, like, she'd be like, oh, was it an improvement?
• 13:13
  Well, you didn't get a ribbon because it was bad.
• 13:19
  Oh, my.
• 13:19
  Oh, my God.
• 13:22
  So did it ever really bother you when you thought about that when you went into the ring?
• 13:28
  It did to a degree, mostly because, like, you know, I don't think anybody goes in the ring and is like, I don't want to win.
• 13:36
  That's the whole reason that we're doing this, is because we want it to all come together, and we want it to all be really good.
• 13:44
  So when you have a mistake that you feel like you could have not made or.
• 13:49
  I.
• 13:50
  I know the.
• 13:51
  The mistake was my fault, and most of the time it was.
• 13:55
  I'm my own worst critic.
• 13:57
  So, like, I didn't need to be told that I made a mistake.
• 14:01
  I was very well aware that there was something that I did, and I hate that because it's a lot of money to make, you know, however long you've been doing this riding.
• 14:10
  And you're like, that was a rookie mistake.
• 14:12
  Most of the time it was, like, it felt like something that I should be passed by now making.
• 14:18
  But we're human, and horses are horses, so it.
• 14:20
  You know, that kind of stuff happens.
• 14:22
  And.
• 14:22
  But.
• 14:23
  But I'd be hard on myself about it because it's expensive.
• 14:25
  Feels like a very expensive mistake to be making at that level.
• 14:28
  I know.
• 14:29
  And then how do you separate getting this in your head where every time you go into the ring, the meter is running, and how do you.
• 14:41
  How do you get out of that?
• 14:44
  Because if you do have some financial boundary of or thought of responsibility, then all of a sudden it feels really heavy, that if you make a mistake, that you're supposed to make a mistake and learn from it.
• 15:00
  And, okay, next time I'll be better.
• 15:02
  But in this case, once we start talking about how expensive everything is and how limited time you might have.
• 15:13
  So, like, if you can only do one show here and there, does that make that show so much more important?
• 15:22
  Does it make it weigh that much more?
• 15:25
  I think that that is a Mental struggle that is very real.
• 15:30
  And I think that a lot of people feel like, if, okay, if I'm only going to get to do two shows this year, don't screw them up.
• 15:36
  And I don't know that that's the mentality.
• 15:40
  I think the mentality is go in there and.
• 15:43
  And show off the.
• 15:45
  What you've been working for as best you can versus don't screw it up.
• 15:50
  Dana.
• 15:51
  One of my best friends got me socks that says don't it up.
• 15:54
  They're riding socks, and they're my Sunday socks.
• 15:56
  They're the socks that I wear on Sunday because it would be if I qualified for the classic, like, don't it up and win some money, girl.
• 16:07
  I was like, winning does have its perks.
• 16:10
  It does.
• 16:11
  Even if it's only $8.
• 16:12
  But I remember texting my mom and being like, does this mean I can add an extra horse show?
• 16:18
  This was, like, years ago.
• 16:20
  Yeah.
• 16:21
  I was like, hey, listen, my showboat was really low.
• 16:24
  Does this mean I can get an extra one?
• 16:26
  She was like, that is not how this works.
• 16:28
  That's right.
• 16:29
  Damn.
• 16:29
  But.
• 16:30
  And you know, the ridiculous thing about all this is, is the horse doesn't know any of this.
• 16:34
  I mean, the horses don't know what the stalls cost, and they don't know what the entries cost or what the hotel costs.
• 16:42
  But.
• 16:43
  And Celine certainly doesn't know that I've suddenly decided that I have only two more years.
• 16:50
  She just knows what I'm doing when I get on her.
• 16:52
  And apparently what I was doing wasn't particularly helpful.
• 16:58
  Okay, well, listen, you and Celine are new to one another, and she's.
• 17:05
  She's not, like, seasoned where she's done this a billion times.
• 17:10
  Listen, I.
• 17:10
  I don't know how many times I have to tell you.
• 17:12
  When I first got Loki, I questioned my ability to ride a horse, period.
• 17:17
  I was like, good God, this is the nicest horse I've ever sat on.
• 17:19
  He's the most athletic.
• 17:20
  And I have no idea what I'm doing up here.
• 17:22
  None.
• 17:22
  None.
• 17:23
  No idea whatsoever.
• 17:24
  And it's your second show.
• 17:27
  Third.
• 17:28
  Third or fourth.
• 17:29
  Yeah, maybe.
• 17:29
  I mean, my God, show yourself some grace, woman.
• 17:33
  I know.
• 17:34
  I mean, and.
• 17:35
  And here's the thing, though.
• 17:36
  As awful as that horse show was, nothing about it changed what I want to do.
• 17:41
  I still want to show.
• 17:43
  I still want to do the adults.
• 17:45
  I still want to keep progressing.
• 17:48
  The only thing that changed was that I suddenly had a much clearer idea of how long I can keep paying for it the way I'm paying for it now.
• 17:58
  And I know that you're facing your own version of that at the exactly the same.
• 18:04
  At exactly the same time.
• 18:06
  So I guess that's where this gets interesting.
• 18:09
  What do we actually do about it?
• 18:12
  One of the things for me, I'm lucky enough to be able to obviously have my horse at home.
• 18:16
  I've talked about that a ton and can do a lot of it myself, which is, which is really good.
• 18:21
  And not only in, at least within the scenario that I'm in now.
• 18:26
  You know, it wasn't just because he stayed in work through when I was pregnant and then even after I was pregnant.
• 18:33
  So really the big gap came with my cancer diagnosis.
• 18:37
  And so it's not just him that has to come back, it's me that has to come back.
• 18:41
  I mean, I'm weak as all get out.
• 18:43
  I've got to come back.
• 18:44
  Just like he's got to come back.
• 18:45
  And that's going to be sort of like a working in tandem kind of thing.
• 18:48
  He's weak, I'm weak.
• 18:51
  At least he'll be tired too.
• 18:53
  I hope so.
• 18:55
  It's like a juggling act of where does it all fit in?
• 19:01
  How do you make it all fit in?
• 19:02
  And the number one thing that I have in my favor is that he's 10 minutes from my house and that I have a place to ride him at home.
• 19:08
  And also like the, the cost that, that, that's a, that's a huge cost, right?
• 19:12
  Like I'm not paying to have him boarded.
• 19:15
  And that's a massive savings in and of itself.
• 19:18
  So there is, there is that, right?
• 19:21
  And then you probably, at this point, because you haven't gotten 100% back on yet, don't even know like what you might or might not want to do as far as horse showing or any of that or, or what
• 19:36
  that would look like in terms of where would you go, who would you ride with, you know, all those things.
• 19:41
  Right.
• 19:42
  So I guess my solution could be completely different because I know myself well enough to know that if somebody says, well, just show less and be happy with that, my immediate reaction is totally going to be, no, that's
• 19:56
  not what I want.
• 19:58
  I really want a horse show.
• 20:00
  I want to keep doing it.
• 20:01
  I like the whole damn thing.
• 20:03
  And I'm not going to sit here and pretend that some cheaper version of what I want is automatically going to make me equally happy.
• 20:11
  But saying that doesn't make the financial reality disappear either.
• 20:17
  So I don't know.
• 20:18
  I will say there's a part of me that got to fulfill a ton of the things that I wanted to do with Loki, just by his sheer athleticism and his ability to do his job allowed me to do
• 20:33
  a lot of the things that were on, like, my, quote, bucket list of places I wanted to go and where I wanted to show and stuff like that.
• 20:39
  But I love horses, and I love showing, so I get that at the.
• 20:42
  You know, on the one hand, I've done a ton that I wanted to do with him.
• 20:47
  So, like, taking a little bit of a step back is okay, but you're getting back into your adult division.
• 20:52
  You've got this, a wonderful, young, amazing new horse.
• 20:55
  So, yeah, somebody saying, like, we'll just take it down a notch.
• 20:58
  Okay, well, not right now, especially, and tell you, because there's things that you want to accomplish.
• 21:03
  I think that's kind of a fair way to look about it.
• 21:06
  There's stuff you want to do.
• 21:07
  Oh, by all means, there is.
• 21:09
  But I think maybe all I can do is just afford to trail ride, you know, or maybe I can just have my horse at a place where I can go out and ride on the trails, ride in the
• 21:19
  ring.
• 21:20
  But I don't even think about going to horse shows.
• 21:22
  And that, I think, is so difficult for me.
• 21:25
  I don't know why, but I'm competitive, and I love that.
• 21:30
  And I think it's kind of a fun way to measure what you've learned.
• 21:33
  I think in your situation and in mine, that is hard to accept.
• 21:38
  When you've been doing it a particular way for so long, it almost feels like you're taking a step down or a step back.
• 21:45
  And I don't necessarily think that there's anything wrong with that.
• 21:49
  But, yeah, you do have to get crafty.
• 21:50
  I think if you're gonna jump back into it or whatever, it's gonna be like, okay, well, how.
• 21:55
  How do I do this?
• 21:56
  I don't know what the alternative is to.
• 21:59
  To get what you want for less money.
• 22:01
  I definitely think that there's creative ways to do it.
• 22:05
  Is it having, like, a side hustle?
• 22:07
  Is it okay, I work my normal job, and that goes to my bills and my family and my household, and then I work this side hustle, and that's my horse show.
• 22:15
  Expensive or expenses?
• 22:17
  I don't know.
• 22:18
  I do know that I think.
• 22:20
  Wait a minute.
• 22:22
  Go ahead.
• 22:22
  Are you saying that I have to go get a job as a Walmart greeter?
• 22:26
  Listen, there's a Walmart right by my house.
• 22:29
  You can come greet at my house, and then I'll have your wine for you.
• 22:31
  When you come home.
• 22:32
  It'll be fine.
• 22:34
  And I can ride Loki after.
• 22:36
  Yeah, you can ride Loki after.
• 22:37
  Actually, I've already figured this out.
• 22:38
  You'll just move Celine to my house when you're tapped out, when you're.
• 22:41
  When your money pile taps out or you get to the bottom.
• 22:44
  And then I'll ride Celine and then I'll keep her exercise.
• 22:49
  Yeah, it'll be fine.
• 22:51
  Okay.
• 22:52
  Yeah, I'll keep her fed.
• 22:54
  I'll make sure she's happy and fat and clean all the time.
• 22:58
  I will schedule your visits in between your greeting shifts.
• 23:01
  It'll be fine.
• 23:02
  And I think that there's another piece of this that belongs in this conversation, because sometimes the pressure to do more isn't even coming from you.
• 23:10
  There is a culture in this sport of more.
• 23:14
  More horse shows, more time in the ring.
• 23:16
  We've all heard some version of it.
• 23:19
  A rider's doing really well, she's qualifying for things, she's accomplishing something.
• 23:24
  But then she goes to an horse show, and maybe it's not her best week.
• 23:28
  And it seems like one of the answers can very quickly become, you need to show more, you need more mileage, you need to spend more time in Florida.
• 23:38
  You need to do more of the big shows.
• 23:40
  And maybe some of that is absolutely true.
• 23:43
  The more you do something, the better you're probably going to get at doing it.
• 23:47
  If I went in the ring every week, I'd probably be a better show rider, but.
• 23:52
  Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 23:53
  And I totally agree with you.
• 23:55
  It's practice makes perfect.
• 23:58
  I think everybody can get behind it.
• 24:00
  But also, like, what if you're the person that puts all the work in at home, is lessening as often as they can.
• 24:07
  Can put a perfect.
• 24:08
  Yeah.
• 24:08
  Then at some point, you want to take it on the road and.
• 24:11
  And see how you measure up to the competition.
• 24:13
  Well, it's a little difficult when.
• 24:16
  And also to the money thing.
• 24:17
  There's a lot of pressure.
• 24:18
  This is the one horse show I get to go to in this quarter, let's say.
• 24:23
  And you know, it doesn't make you less good at the sport.
• 24:30
  Has a lot to do with.
• 24:32
  This person is more seasoned and that they get to do it more often.
• 24:35
  But there is a lot of pressure.
• 24:37
  Like, do you get the same amount of attention if.
• 24:41
  If you're being told you need to do more, you need to go more, and you're like, I am lessening as often as I can at home.
• 24:48
  I am pouring the money into it.
• 24:49
  I'm pouring my own time into it.
• 24:51
  I'm you know, dedicated.
• 24:53
  The dedicated rider at home, and then you're met with, well, you don't show enough.
• 24:59
  I mean, that.
• 25:00
  That is where people feel like they're getting cut off at the knees.
• 25:03
  I think.
• 25:04
  I mean, honestly, more horse showing costs the client more money.
• 25:09
  And more horse showing is also part of how professional barns make money.
• 25:14
  And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that.
• 25:17
  It's a business and.
• 25:18
  And trainers need to make more money.
• 25:20
  But I do think that it's worth acknowledging that everybody's incentives aren't necessarily identical.
• 25:27
  Meaning the trainer might quite legitimately believe more mileage would make you better, but the trainers benefit also their business benefits.
• 25:39
  When you show more and you might be sitting there saying, I understand all that, but I can afford to do only eight shows, not 18.
• 25:49
  So now what?
• 25:51
  Right?
• 25:52
  And I think, you know, I think it's frustrating too, because it's hard feeling like, okay, is my trainer going to be upset with me, that realistically, financially, this is what I can afford to do?
• 26:03
  And sort of like, goals and skill and mileage for your horse and for yourself don't always add up to what's in your pocketbook.
• 26:12
  And I think what gets missed on that is the conversation where, like, say you're in a program and you're doing all the things, you're pouring in all the money, but is there a conversation that happens?
• 26:27
  It's like, hey, so we're paying X, Y and Z for training rides, we're paying XYZ for lessons.
• 26:34
  We need to talk about what the horse shows look like and.
• 26:36
  And our goals.
• 26:37
  So if this is a goal that I have, what do the horseshoes look like?
• 26:43
  How many would it take to go to?
• 26:47
  And that's gonna vary for everybody, right?
• 26:49
  Like, maybe if.
• 26:51
  If they say it's going to take eight horse shows, if you can be champion at two of them, then you're good.
• 26:57
  But if you.
• 26:58
  And I don't mean this in a bad way, but, like, if you suck at all of them, you might have to throw in a few more to see if you can get yourself qualified.
• 27:05
  And I don't know if those convers, I mean, I don't think that they're happening as frequently as maybe that they should with the cost.
• 27:12
  The rising cost of everything is like, this is what it's costing to go to a horse show.
• 27:16
  This is what it's going to cost when I get my bill for my trainer, if I can only go to because of this cost, if I can tell you, to my trainer I can go to five horseshoes with
• 27:27
  things costing this much.
• 27:29
  What's realistic?
• 27:30
  Can, can I set year end goals or is it, let's just go and see if there's things to work on or if you can be champion or you go have a good time.
• 27:39
  These are destinations you want to go to.
• 27:41
  And I just think that those need to be realistic conversations and I don't know that they're always happening that way.
• 27:47
  Well, I agree and I do think that this is where the relationship with your trainer really matters because maybe instead of the conversation always being, here's what else you need to do, maybe sometimes it needs to be, this
• 28:00
  is what I can do, this is how much I can afford, this is how much I can show.
• 28:07
  These are still my goals.
• 28:09
  How good can we get right within that reality, right?
• 28:13
  Like let's have a real honest conversation about what that looks like, right?
• 28:17
  And it could be like, like say, say you want to go to Pennsylvania, if that's your goal, but you can only go to eight horse shows that might not, that might not be realistic, right?
• 28:24
  And so then you.
• 28:25
  So like let's find something that is realistic, right?
• 28:28
  And maybe in my case it doesn't have to be that I have to go to every single horse show and I don't necessarily have a goal like a Pennsylvania or an indoor or some sort of a point oriented
• 28:45
  thing in mind.
• 28:46
  I've really just enjoyed going to the horse shows and I've really enjoyed going somewhere different.
• 28:55
  Sometimes maybe mileage really doesn't mean anything.
• 28:59
  Maybe it just means you're starting with the actual life instead of an ideal schedule that may not be possible.
• 29:07
  And you know, just trying to figure.
• 29:09
  Out, well, I think, at least between you and me, I think if we could go to all the horse shows all the time and be on the road and sign me up.
• 29:21
  I love a horse show too.
• 29:23
  I mean, I love them.
• 29:24
  I think they're so much fun.
• 29:26
  I mean, we'll get to the end of a horse show and mom will be like, my God, I'm so glad to be home.
• 29:30
  And I'm like, yeah, I mean I'm glad to be home for like another day, but when we go on another horse show next week, I, I love them.
• 29:37
  And so, I mean, I'm with you.
• 29:41
  It's, it's sort of like, yeah, where are we going next?
• 29:43
  Let's go.
• 29:44
  But unfortunately that's not how life works for most people.
• 29:48
  They have a family at home and there's responsibilities at home and Right.
• 29:53
  And, and, and it's true that reality isn't the same for everybody.
• 29:58
  So what's interesting about you and now is I don't have young children and I'm not saving for somebody's college education.
• 30:08
  I'm at a point in my life where I can spend more on myself than I could at other times.
• 30:14
  But that doesn't mean that I have unlimited money.
• 30:17
  Obviously, I was told I don't, but I can reasonably spend a little bit on horses at this stage of my life, and I know that it's completely different from what you can reason.
• 30:31
  Reasonably spend at yours.
• 30:34
  Yeah.
• 30:35
  With.
• 30:35
  With Teagan being as young as she is and her future ahead of her, I've got to think about what I'm spending on myself versus what I'm spending on on her or thinking about for her, saving for her.
• 30:49
  And money that could go towards horses could effectively, like, have another claim on it.
• 30:56
  I.
• 30:57
  Obviously food and shoes and health and all of that with the horse's needs are going to be met, but in terms of.
• 31:04
  I would.
• 31:05
  I like to call it extra money, going to a horse show might not be feasible.
• 31:10
  What.
• 31:11
  Right.
• 31:11
  During certain periods of time.
• 31:14
  And that's, you know, that's like a.
• 31:16
  That's like a tough thing to grapple with a little bit when I've been so fortunate to have the riding career that I've had and the ability to go to the shows that I want to go to when I
• 31:27
  want to go to them.
• 31:28
  So that's.
• 31:28
  I mean, that's definitely a change.
• 31:30
  But the joy that my daughter brings to my life, you know, I wouldn't.
• 31:33
  I wouldn't trade that for anything, you know, and horses are a massive priority in my life.
• 31:40
  The fun part about having a daughter and having horses is being able to introduce the horses to her and her to the horses.
• 31:47
  And so, you know, it's a little.
• 31:51
  That's.
• 31:51
  That's.
• 31:51
  That's a tough thing to kind of like, okay, this is the new reality of the situation, but it's also a really beautiful thing, too, in a lot of ways.
• 31:59
  Well, that's why I'm starting to think that affordable isn't really number one.
• 32:04
  It's not just what the horse cost or what the horse show cost.
• 32:07
  It's what else your life needs from the same money.
• 32:11
  And that changes every time you turn around in your life.
• 32:15
  That's what I'm saying.
• 32:16
  Just because.
• 32:17
  Saying I can't afford to do that, that's not necessarily the same thing as saying it shouldn't cost that much.
• 32:25
  But sometimes those two things are connected, but sometimes they're not.
• 32:30
  Right.
• 32:30
  I agree.
• 32:31
  It's either or.
• 32:32
  Yep.
• 32:32
  I couldn't afford the version of riding that I wanted when I was a kid.
• 32:37
  But that didn't mean that my trainer didn't deserve to get paid.
• 32:41
  It meant that there was a gap between what I wanted to do and what I had available.
• 32:46
  And I had to decide, you know, what I could do about it.
• 32:50
  So let me ask you this.
• 32:51
  If you couldn't keep doing horses exactly the way you've been doing them, and actually, I guess that's not particularly hypothetical for either one of us anymore, what would you protect first?
• 33:03
  Not what you think you're supposed to say, but what.
• 33:06
  What actually matters to you.
• 33:08
  What would you absolutely not want to give up?
• 33:12
  My number one thing that I would protect is my horse in his care 100%.
• 33:16
  And if that meant no horse shows, that would suck.
• 33:20
  But also, it's like to my point right now, I haven't gone to a horse show in the last almost two years, like, shown myself, and I am very, very happy every time I walk in the barn to see
• 33:32
  him in there.
• 33:33
  You know what I mean?
• 33:34
  Like, I am beyond happy.
• 33:37
  Now I actually have to decide what I'm willing to change.
• 33:41
  Meaning you're not going to give up your horse.
• 33:43
  So you're not going to give up that bill's medical bills, but you'd give up horse showing.
• 33:48
  So you may get to the end of the list and say nothing.
• 33:52
  I want exactly what I'm doing.
• 33:54
  Okay, well, then I have a different problem.
• 33:57
  I've got to figure out how I'm going to pay for it, right?
• 34:01
  Yeah, you're right.
• 34:02
  So this is actually one of the reasons I've been trying to get my financial advisor to come on the podcast, because she knows my situation very well and I'm sure that she could speak to others.
• 34:12
  And I want to have this conversation with somebody who understands money, but also understands that telling a horse person, well, you could save a lot of money if you just didn't have the horse isn't particularly useful.
• 34:24
  I know.
• 34:25
  I don't think my parents financial advisor does a very good job at that.
• 34:29
  Well, mine is pretty good, but it's kind of like don't be saying if you didn't have the horse.
• 34:36
  We know that.
• 34:37
  Thank you very much.
• 34:38
  I know, I know.
• 34:40
  They, they told my parents, you know, one of your biggest expenses are the horses that you all have.
• 34:46
  Thank you.
• 34:47
  Shut up.
• 34:49
  Exactly.
• 34:51
  So, you know, what I want to know is if I've decided that this Matters to me.
• 34:57
  How do I make an intelligent financial decision around it?
• 35:01
  And at what point does I can pay this bill stop meaning I can actually afford this?
• 35:08
  And how do you plan for something you desperately want to keep doing when the costs aren't particularly predictable?
• 35:15
  I know that my friend won't have all the answers, but at least maybe some good advice.
• 35:22
  I hope.
• 35:24
  I'm sure she'd have good advice.
• 35:25
  So long as we're not making Excel sheets, y'.
• 35:27
  All.
• 35:29
  Like Wally had asked my mom and me when Loki was campaigning in the Greens and showing with me too, and he said, have you guys added up, like, what you all have spent?
• 35:38
  I was just really glad we were grouped together and it wasn't just on me.
• 35:41
  I was like, owen's a part of this too, you know.
• 35:44
  Have you guys calculated what all you have spent so far this year on the horse?
• 35:50
  And I looked at him and I said, why on earth would you ever put that on a piece of paper?
• 35:55
  I was like, you have lost your mind.
• 35:58
  I know it.
• 35:59
  And you know, it's really strange.
• 36:00
  The more we talk about this, the more I realize that I'm back almost in the exact same place I was when I was a kid.
• 36:07
  Back then, I had an after school job, I babysat, I braided my own horse, I worked for my trainer.
• 36:13
  And now, apparently, I'm making a podcast with you.
• 36:19
  Well, that sounds pretty good.
• 36:22
  I would hope so.
• 36:23
  I mean, so I guess we're both figuring it out, but just from really different places.
• 36:30
  So now, I mean, now I change diapers all day long, Elizabeth.
• 36:36
  But you don't get paid for that.
• 36:38
  I know.
• 36:39
  That's what I'm saying.
• 36:40
  It's tough life out here.
• 36:42
  It's rough in the jungle.
• 36:44
  Exactly.
• 36:45
  Hopefully those will end soon.
• 36:50
  Then you won't have that expense.
• 36:52
  Anyway, I don't know what the answer is.
• 36:54
  I just know I still want a horse show.
• 36:56
  And I know the way I've been doing it isn't something that I can just assume will continue forever.
• 37:02
  So I guess that's where I am.
• 37:04
  I know what I want now.
• 37:05
  I have to figure out what I'm going to do about it.
• 37:08
  You and everybody else.
• 37:09
  So until next time, let's ride.