Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / 5 ways to get back at a Narcissist
Transcript
- 0:00So what hurts a narcissist the most from the perspective of a
- 0:04diagnosed narcissist? Y'all, if you knew here my name
- 0:07is Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:09narcissist. And welcome to another episode
- 0:10of The Narcissist Code, my podcast Y'all if you knew here.
- 0:14Like I used my platform to raise awareness for NPD, get more
- 0:17people in the therapy, and also validate the victims and
- 0:20survivors and thrivers of this disorder.
- 0:22Toxic people, toxic traits and whatnot.
- 0:24Y'all. And that's what we're talking
- 0:26about. Y'all What hurts a narcissistic
- 0:28person the most? A toxic person the most?
- 0:31Oh my goodness. Y'all.
- 0:31Make sure you join the newsletter already if you
- 0:33haven't. Y'all subscribed to the linkages
- 0:35in the description of every podcast and video I do.
- 0:38But The funny thing about it is y'all.
- 0:42The thing that's going to hurt a narcissist the most is literally
- 0:45what one of the things that's going to set some narcissist off
- 0:48is actually just a thumbnail of this video.
- 0:51The thumbnail is going to hurt a narcissist.
- 0:53Yeah, I'm in some selfaware narcissist Facebook groups and
- 0:56they always share videos like this and nobody ever watched the
- 0:59video, but they share the thumbnail.
- 1:02Oh, Lee Hannah is pandering. So the thumbnail of this video
- 1:06is going to set some narcissist off, which is going to be
- 1:08hilarious to me because they always like, yeah, it's this
- 1:11give take love, hate. But the thumbnail, How to hurt a
- 1:14narcissist? Like he's giving away the
- 1:15secrets. He's letting people know how to
- 1:17hurt us. Yeah.
- 1:18And y'all know I'm not out of here because could you hurt?
- 1:20How to hurt a narcissist is not the most difficult thing in the
- 1:22world. Yeah.
- 1:23Could you physically hurt them? Like they might have physically
- 1:25hurt you? Yeah, you can retaliate that
- 1:27way. But the how to hurt a narcissist
- 1:29is literally the number one way to hurt a narcissist.
- 1:32What Wanted to do the number one ways, it's just to make them
- 1:34feel shame. Yeah, shame is a great, and I
- 1:38say great, I mean great provocation.
- 1:42With narcissist, it it is one of those things like shame is
- 1:46shame. Just damn near destroyers,
- 1:49narcissistic people. It is one of the greatest forces
- 1:52in the narcissist life that drives us literally out of our
- 1:55minds. It's just one of those things
- 1:57that drives us out of minds. So bringing shame into the life
- 2:00or into the viewpoint of a narcissist hurts that
- 2:02narcissistic person. I promise you it does.
- 2:04It seems like it seem like it's like well how do you do that?
- 2:07Yeah, shame. It doesn't take much to
- 2:09introduce shame to into a narcissist.
- 2:12Like it just really, really doesn't.
- 2:13You can just exposing them bottle block.
- 2:15I mean I'm we were going to greater detail some other ways
- 2:18to bring shame to them. But yeah, shame is what
- 2:20narcissists are trying to avoid. A lot of times it just is.
- 2:24Bringing shame into their life, Divorcing them.
- 2:25Brain shame into their life, Breaking up with them, Brain
- 2:27shame into their life. Even posting online that they
- 2:30don't take care of their kids, Brain shame into their life.
- 2:33Telling their friends and family brain shame into their life.
- 2:35You know, telling your friends about how they treat you, brain
- 2:39shame into their life, them not making enough money, You making
- 2:42more money, you having more education, you looking better.
- 2:45That type of stuff brings insecurity and shame into the
- 2:47narcissist life. Y'all.
- 2:48So brain shame, introducing the shame monster into it, like the
- 2:52life of a narcissist. Brain shame into their life.
- 2:54It's just one of those things right there.
- 2:55Y'all, you know another way to hurt, quote UN quote hurt.
- 2:59A narcissist is literally just the posters.
- 3:02Is the posters thumbnail. I just joke.
- 3:04Literally. I I keep harping back to the
- 3:07thumbnail because it's absolutely true.
- 3:09I think y'all don't understand how fragile a lot of
- 3:11narcissistic people are. Like y'all think it's extremely
- 3:14hard to hurt a narcissist. It's absolutely not narcissistic
- 3:17people, including myself, or extremely fragile people.
- 3:20It's not hard to hurt us at all. It's not hard to rattle our ego,
- 3:23make it make this question how it worked or our value.
- 3:25It's not hard at all. Y'all.
- 3:27So the thumbnail. I was like, it's going, it's
- 3:28going to hurt. Somebody's going to watch the
- 3:30video, like y'all don't let it trigger you.
- 3:32But yeah, another way to hurt a narcissist y'all is to you
- 3:37living well, just live with y'all.
- 3:42This seems super simplistic, but you living well hurts a
- 3:48narcissistic person. It really, really does.
- 3:51You know what I mean? It really, really does.
- 3:54Like you living well in your glow up journey makes that
- 3:58narcissistic person feel a certain type of way.
- 4:00Like they probably didn't think that you could do it without
- 4:03them. But guess what?
- 4:05He did it, didn't you? Guess what?
- 4:06He made it, Didn't you? Guess what?
- 4:08You graduate. He did.
- 4:09You did everything they said you couldn't do.
- 4:11Everything that they tried to hold you back from, everything
- 4:13that they tried to make you feel guilty about.
- 4:15He did it, didn't you? You see what I'm saying?
- 4:17You see how that works, right? There is in that space, in that
- 4:19situation, you did it. Living your best life without
- 4:23them hurts a narcissistic person if they find out about it, if
- 4:27they see it, if they hear about it.
- 4:28But this is just another situation right here.
- 4:30Y'all this is another another thing that hurts.
- 4:33Narciss blocking them going no contact.
- 4:36Y'all it just yeah. Goodness.
- 4:38Blocking them and going no contact absolutely hurts
- 4:41narcissistic people. It's just one of those things.
- 4:43It just does. So they might not even get to
- 4:45see your living well journey. They might not get to see your
- 4:48glow up journey. They might not get to see you
- 4:50thriving and living in abundance without them, or just just
- 4:53thriving and living life and happy without them.
- 4:56They might not get to see it, but they feel it because if you
- 4:59block them, they can lose their damn minds.
- 5:01Because if you block them, guess what?
- 5:03They automatically they automatically think that you
- 5:05shipped it and you moving on to somebody else.
- 5:08They make it even if they have somebody else.
- 5:10They can hurt their feelings. They can put that could be on
- 5:13their mind job. Even if they have somebody else
- 5:15and you block them no warning they just wake up block one they
- 5:19just pick up your stuff to see if you still live in the same
- 5:20place and unhappy and single and then they can't find your
- 5:23profile and you realize they block.
- 5:25Hey hey can you see old girls profile real quick Man I think
- 5:28she deleted her Facebook. Oh man no.
- 5:30I can still see I'm still friends with her.
- 5:32Damn. She must have blocked you.
- 5:35Damn. Really.
- 5:37Well, it's just crazy. Well, Dang, huh?
- 5:43Yeah. No contact blocking.
- 5:45Hertz. Narcissistic people, Of course.
- 5:47Y'all use discretion when doing all of this stuff because
- 5:50everybody's life is going to be different in these situations.
- 5:52But they out exposure. Another thing that hurt
- 5:54narcissistic people, exposing them, exposing them to for who
- 5:58they are, who they actually are to the world, breaking that that
- 6:02kind of shielded reputation that they that they might have, that
- 6:06hurts a narcissistic person. It just really, really does.
- 6:09Y'all it really does. That hurts In our being exposed
- 6:13to hurt, breaking their reputation.
- 6:15Breaking this perfect image hurts narcissistic people more
- 6:18than they're more than anything. Y'all and all of this stuff
- 6:20brings shame to narcissist. Y'all all embraces shame into
- 6:23their life. But yeah, exposure sucks.
- 6:27Like I've cultivated this reputation for a long time and
- 6:30now you're going to expose me? Oh hell no.
- 6:33Blink, blink. You know, Blink, blink, blink,
- 6:35blink, blink. Was the Lego Batman.
- 6:38Yeah, exposing them, the threat of exposure, the fact that you
- 6:41could expose them, hurts them and brings shame and paranoia to
- 6:44their life. Y'all because if you could
- 6:46expose them, they're always in the back of their mind thinking
- 6:48to them this person is going to expose me.
- 6:50You see what I'm saying? In another way, Y'all.
- 6:54To quote UN quote, hurt a narcissist or to get back at
- 6:58them is literally y'all. It's going to sound.
- 7:01It's going to sound super complicated.
- 7:03Super complicated. They want to making them be
- 7:06viewed as a bad person. That's one of the main ways to
- 7:11hurt a narcissistic person right there.
- 7:12Y'all is making them be viewed as a bad person.
- 7:16Because narcissists, we have this kind of crazy viewpoint of
- 7:19the world where we see the it's kind of like we see the world in
- 7:21black and white. You're either all good or all
- 7:24bad in that same, that same, the same standard applies to us in
- 7:31our own lives. We're either all good or we're
- 7:34all bad. And we don't want to be viewed
- 7:37as bad people because that destroys us internally.
- 7:40It bring it sucks us into this void like internally that we
- 7:45feel like we are bad people and we shame ourselves.
- 7:48We put ourselves. It's kind of like, you know when
- 7:50you are a kid, right? And you in the classroom and
- 7:57they tell you to go sit in the corner and put the dunce cap on,
- 7:59You know that that that feeling right there with you in the
- 8:01corner, your back is to the classroom.
- 8:04You're sitting in the corner on the stool.
- 8:05I know most of y'all be most of y'all.
- 8:06Might not be too old for the dunce cap in the real life
- 8:09shaming, but did it just that, that feeling.
- 8:14You go sit in the corner and you feel like you're a horrible,
- 8:17horrible person. And when you get into that, into
- 8:20that feeling that you're a horrible person, it could drive
- 8:24you into this depressive state where you just it is.
- 8:26Yeah, it's like falling into a pit of the a dark, dark pit like
- 8:31and you keep falling, you keep falling, you keep falling and
- 8:36this is the kind of crazy and this is the pit right here.
- 8:38Y'all the pit is started off as just a person sized hole, just
- 8:41deep enough for me to fall into. But the the deeper I fall, the
- 8:44wider it gets. Like, I can't test the size
- 8:46anymore. It's that dark, yo.
- 8:49It's that dark, you know, to be viewed as a bad person.
- 8:53It feels like it takes you back to your childhood.
- 8:55It's kind of like it takes you back to your childhood when you
- 8:59used to get in trouble and things that, like I'm just
- 9:00telling you, it makes you feel like a bad, bad person and you
- 9:03beat yourself like that narcissistic person beats
- 9:06themselves up, you know? And all of this stuff to all
- 9:10together makes narcissistic people feel like bad people.
- 9:13You know, being shamed, being rejected, like so according to
- 9:17rejection hurts narcissistic people.
- 9:19But exposure. Like I said, rejection is
- 9:22blocking all the other stuff. But all that stuff hurts
- 9:26narcissistic people. That's what I just saying, like
- 9:28you know, and you're not trying to cause pain to the person,
- 9:31like this is not about causing the pain because all of this
- 9:33stuff just requires you to live your life and move on, you know.
- 9:37This requires you to set boundaries, healthy boundaries,
- 9:40and if you want and sometimes you heal out loud.
- 9:42There's nothing wrong with healing out loud.
- 9:44Just be safe and you're healing. And I mean by healing out loud
- 9:46is like telling maybe telling your story to a group of people
- 9:50or something like that. Posting your story online,
- 9:54trying to reach more people to help and things like that.
- 9:57So it just gets into that space where it's not very difficult to
- 10:00hurt a Narcisse. It really does require very
- 10:03little energy, very little anything.
- 10:05Just you living. You rejected them.
- 10:07You saying no to them hurts Narcissus.
- 10:10Y'all. You rejected them.
- 10:10You exposing them, you bringing shame to them, you making it
- 10:13feel like a bad person. It just, yeah, it all hurts.
- 10:17Just so bad. I know.
- 10:18So, so bad. You know, like.
- 10:19But we don't want to hurt them like we're empathetic people.
- 10:22Y'all you don't, you don't have to seek out to hurt them.
- 10:26Because again, seeking out to hurt them means you expose them
- 10:29to their wife or their husband or whatever the situation is,
- 10:31You know, expose them to their job, expose them on social media
- 10:33like you're not seeking to hurt them.
- 10:35This is just how life throws them out, you know?
- 10:39Again, y'all the thumbnails video is going to set some
- 10:42people off. We just got again, it's not me
- 10:44trying to be antagonistic. It's literally just me spreading
- 10:48information to people like that but certainly way that.
- 10:51Anyways, y'all have made it this far.
- 10:52Make sure you like and subscribe to the channel.
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- 10:55subscriber anyways. Y'all have mental illnesses out
- 10:58peace what is going on beautiful people.
- 11:01Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 11:03Watching it all the way through. Y'all if you haven't already, go
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- 11:19well to help you rebuild that self love Lee Hammock.
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