Latest / Pod Therapy / #414: Overwhelmed Care Giver, Another Woman in Love with My Boyfriend

Transcript

#414: Overwhelmed Care Giver, Another Woman in Love with My Boyfriend · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again or
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: something like that. And it was like, I love how
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: you can just put a sign up and make murder legal.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I have as America, baby, this America. As
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: long as I put it in writing, there's nothing you
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: can do about it. If you come to my house
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: at my invitation, I'm having sex with you, Okay.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: And that's consent from Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. This is
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: pod Therapy problem therapist.
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: At the beginning of an episode, you can submit your
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  Speaker 4: questions anonymously a pod Therapy dott or email it's a
• 0:33
  Speaker 4: pod therapy guys at gmail dot com and now broadcasting
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: from the unnamed studio.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: That's Jim. That's when you next time for to pod therapy. Well,
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: we are deep into December. We are moving right along
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: into the holiday season. Exciting times are among us and
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: we are only a few short weeks from our season
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: eight finale before we kick off season nine. What are
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: you guys going to do over the break? Celebrate the
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: birth of Christ?
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Break. We don't get a break break between seasons. Break
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah yeah yeah. The sabbatical that we're due. Yeah,
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: that's you know, that's exactly it. We should go to
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: the Patreon and ask for that. We should be like, hey,
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: guys need this. Would you guys like keep funding this
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: if we take like six months off, six.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Months, a week, a couple of weeks.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: I want a true professorial sabbatical, whole year off.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Just like, do you mind funding our show while I'm
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: back back through Europe? Can you imagine me trying to
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: do any of that. I wouldn't back back through the
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: back back to your house, That's right. Yeah, I don't
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: want to do any of that.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Don't worry. We're not going anywhere. But the finale is
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: coming up, and our minions in the discord are hard
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: at work designing our trivia showdown for the great reward
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: of being the doctor of the show into the next year.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Have you decided what what I should put on the line? Joe? Yeah, yeah,
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: we need to. Whitney and Nick need to have their
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: their things. Everybody's got skin in the game, because it's
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: only me the only one that's ever you have skin
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: in the game. You're a doctorate right now.
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: I think Nick has to put in his personal trainer certificate.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: I think that whoever wins also becomes the licensed personal
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: trainer and gets to give authoritative advice all year long.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: It's about to expire, so that's fine.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: I was thinking about twenty six foot ladder. Yo just
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: keeps the ladder.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: I think has to store the ladder, and so it
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: just ends up at Jacob's house.
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  Speaker 3: It's where all of your other stuff is.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: The tamper actually, Jacob, honestly, I think you're just trying
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  Speaker 2: to get Jacob to take it.
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  Speaker 3: That is a great idea.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: If I could just get a clicker remote for the
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I get that right on it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then Whitney puts in Pete. I think winner
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: takes Pete. It's really about rescuing Pete at this point.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Pete Pete or over Peter. Well, it's going to be
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: a fun end of the season. Definitely keep tuning in,
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: and for all of you that have been supporting us,
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: we really do appreciate it. December is another one of
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: those times where you know, as we wrap up a
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: season of the show, we reflect on eight years of
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: this project. We're just going to continue to invite you
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: to be a part of it, and we're so grateful
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: for all the people who go to patron dot com
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: slash therapy. Our show is people powered. We've dabbled with
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: doing sponsorships. We put in, you know, some generic ads
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: that we don't really have choices over. We pepper them
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: in in the main show. The system tells us that
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: we're supposed to put in like sixteen more ads than
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: we really do. We just put them in the trivia breaks.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: You can skip right over them. So this show has
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: never really gone the commercial route, but it is. It
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: is financed and funded and has survived for eight years
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: consistently man doing a show a week with four people
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  Speaker 3: for as long as we have, I mean even just
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: with two people for eight years, and Jacob's been a
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  Speaker 3: part of it since like October of that first year. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: two people in a long time. People from year one.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: I mean shit, I don't know that we've ever really missed.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: And so like that's crazy to go that long lot
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: of think we've missed recording a double today because I'll
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: be out of town next week. We're on top of it.
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  Speaker 5: So I mentioned that to Peter last night. I was like, oh, yeah,
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  Speaker 5: we're jumping the recording up to earlier today because Jacob's
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: out of town next week and Peters, you're out of
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: town next week and too.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, remember you're going with Jacob.
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: Jacob's always out of town at the perfect times, Like
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: last time I went out of town, Jacob's like, we
• 4:24
  Speaker 5: got a double because I'm out, Like kiss, thank you.
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  Speaker 3: It all comes together. But yeah, I mean eight years
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: of a show, as we could kind of come through December,
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: we're going to be reflecting little bit your fare. It
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: is a lot of memories, a lot of good advice,
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: and you're doing three three questions a show, fifty two
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: shows a year, eight years in a row. We have
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: answered some shit. We have created a library of additional
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: content at patreon dot com slash therapy. If you go
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: sign up there for as little as a buck, you
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: can access our entire archives of eight years of work
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: that we've done, extra work where we've gone through therapy,
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: ski with people, We've done interviews with world leading experts
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: and all kinds of different disciplines. We have ton research roundups.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: We've gone through big stuff. Yeah we never pay anybody
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: die but yeah, no, not painting, but yeah, patron dot
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: com slash therapy is a great place to grab those resources.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: I actually just posted UH an episode A deep dive.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: N it's going to be tomorrow for us, Okay, Monday
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: for all of you listening, uh with a What he
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: means is it's out. It is, please please, if you're interested.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: It's with Adeline Sage White, who's a registered UH.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: Sex offender dietitian.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: There No, I thought it too, God Scott, it's like
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: that's what she said.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: Oh you're just mad that I said at first. No,
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: but it's it's really good.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: So her program and Mental Fit we're going to be
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: partnering and we'll be doing a bunch of stuff together,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: which is another reminder. Thank you, I keep forgetting talk
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: about this ship. I'm terrible at this.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: I am terrible. You're bad. We're gonna do the We're
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: gonna do the the New Year, New Me Challenge.
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah, the personal or the I was wondering if you
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: were going to do that.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the Mental Fits Fitness Challenge.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: That's what fitness challenge in your butt? Yep.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Uh So every year I try to do something a
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: little bit different.
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  Speaker 3: Last year I did.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I put a bunch of videos out of me doing
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: the workouts and demonstrating all the movements and stuff. It's
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: gonna be the exact same in that sense.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: Good.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: The new thing that we're doing, hopefully is I'm getting
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Adeline to contribute.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: Okay, so she's going to do.
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  Speaker 1: Some stuff on healthy eating relationships with food.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: Cool.
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  Speaker 1: She's going to add a bunch of different components to it.
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  Speaker 3: So look for that.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: It'll be really good, really interesting, should be starting. We're
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: gonna start in the beginning of January.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: And where can they sign up? I don't know, Okay, details, Well,
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: look we need help. Somebody buy him a goddamn you
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: r L.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: You can do it through my website Mental personal Training
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: dot com. Uh slash pod therapy is okay, you have
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: to put in that whole thing h T t P.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: It's it's hidden from the average person, right, Okay, So
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: you can't go to uh this is a it's a
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: uh one of the speakeasy personal training speakeasy that's right,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: VI I p oh yeah, So you got to go
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: mental fit personal Training dot com slash pod therapy and
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: then that will be the sign up page.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Awesome. Also, if you remind me, I will put a
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: link in our episode description, in the public feed and
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: in the Patreon so people can just open up the
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: description of this episode wherever you're listening, and we will
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: zap you write to it, go check it out and
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: you can zip yep. But Patreon dot com slash Therapy
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: support the show. That is how we have survived for
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: eight years and have made it work, and we love
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: this project. We're here for another season and thanks to
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: all of you who make it possible, because it's only
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: with that support that we've been able to get through
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: it and you get through the pandemic and to keep
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: this thing going and just bringing professional advice in a
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: lively friendly way to the world. And so it's a
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: really unique project. I don't know that anybody in the
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: world's doing it the way we're doing it. But we've
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: got some great questions for today's show, and we're kicking
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: it off with a simple one about being overwhelmed. Hi,
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  Speaker 3: Colonial Jim, I think that means colonel. Hello, Colonel Jim, Nick,
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  Speaker 3: doctor Jacob, and of course Whitney. I've been part of
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: the Discord community for a while and it's been a
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: huge source of support. Thank you for all that. For
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: those who don't know my story, here's a quick catchup.
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  Speaker 3: Over the past few years, I've been a caregiver for
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  Speaker 3: multiple family members. My father in law passed away from
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: a heart attack on Thanksgiving in twenty twenty three. My
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: mother in law, who had severe dementia, just say, you
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: don't like the food. Jesus, Yes, you don't have to.
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  Speaker 2: You don't have to go with die like I don't
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  Speaker 2: want another slice a bye. It's a statement. It was
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: the turkey dry I don't know. Oh, I don't know,
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  Speaker 2: but dude checked out.
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  Speaker 3: It was so much. My mother in law, who had
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: severe dementia, died in twenty twenty four. Just last month,
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: my mom passed away from heart issues. Now the only
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: family member I'm responsible for is my dad, who lives
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: in Florida and has mild dementia. I live in New York,
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: so managing his care has been complicated. Since my mom's death,
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: my dad can't live alone anymore. I've been trying to
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: find long term placement for him, but navigating the Medicaid
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: and Medicare system feels overwhelming. Honestly, our elder care system
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: feels broken, and every step of the process is exactly
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: did that happen in America? You're just not trying hard enough.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: Just recently, this time around has been harder than before.
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  Speaker 3: My mom's death hit me deeply, but i haven't had
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: the space to grieve because I've been buried in logistics,
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: funeral arrangements, paperwork, and figuring out care for my dad.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: After years of caregiving, I feel worn out. That is
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: a side note.
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  Speaker 2: After life care, like that immediate after life care and
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  Speaker 2: everything that is also so complicated.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it is. So we talk about healthcare and everything,
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  Speaker 3: and that's that's something we need to talk about, the
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: ualizing stuff.
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  Speaker 2: But like that, end of life care, the burial costs,
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: the funeral arrangements, all that stuff.
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  Speaker 3: It is so much stuff, and just organizing, getting through
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  Speaker 3: the records and finding all the stuff. Oh, as soon
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: as you get into that, you're just you're just done.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: It looks like that happened here. Additionally, my mom's spending.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: I wasn't even thinking about that part, but yeah, too,
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: it shows up. Additionally, my mom's spending left my dad
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  Speaker 3: with no savings and limited resources see previous letters about that.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: I'll admit something that feels awful to say. Part of
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  Speaker 3: me looks forward to the day my dad passes, simply
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: because I'm so tired. Yeah, friends and neighbors keep asking
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: me when my dad is coming home, or suggesting I
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: let him live at home with minimal support. But the
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: reality is he couldn't even call nine to one one
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: when my mom needed help before she died. He struggles
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: with mobility, and if some some thing happens, it would
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: take me half a day to get there. Medicare only
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: covers about four hours of home aid per day, which
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: isn't nearly enough. Sometimes I feel tempted to just put
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: him back in his house with a medical alert bracelet
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: and food delivery, but I know that's not truly safe.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: I feel alone, guilty for my thoughts, and scared of
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: ending up in the same situation myself someday. My question
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: is how do I cope with these feelings of exhaustion, guilt,
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: and fear while still trying to do right by my dad?
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Sammy scoop Ps. Things I've learned from this
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: whole experience. Have durable power of attorney and a will
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: even if you just print one from online. Yep, it
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: will save thousands of dollars.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah advice, Yeah, Sammy, I do remember.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: The power of attorney is a big one. The people
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: don't talk about a lot, But that's an important one too.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, your previous letters writing in I remember that story
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: very sad and sorry that you had to go through that. Yeah,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: that sucks.
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: I feel like what I hear a lot of the
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: times too, when we talk about making wills and making
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: things a little bit easier for loved ones that are
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: still here after you've passed, is that older adults avoid this.
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: It's almost like they put it on a forty by
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: forty list and then never did it.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: But it's like they put their two together, yeah, and
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: then didn't do anything two.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: Even when people were supportive of it, yeah and encouraging and.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Were they mocking you from the bleachers.
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: But on a serious note, this is one thing that
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: I didn't realize was so difficult for I'm going to
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: say parents, because people I'm talking to are like friends
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: around my age and their parents are aging and they're
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: like my mom or my dad just will not talk
• 12:46
  Speaker 5: about what they want to do with their things, or
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: like they kind of might mention something in passing, but
• 12:55
  Speaker 5: just what that means when they pass. And that is
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: one thing my dad has been so good at and
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: I well, I love this about him so much. He
• 13:02
  Speaker 5: has sat down like last Thanksgiving and before that, he's like,
• 13:04
  Speaker 5: all right, when I died, this goes to your stem
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: and this goes to you, this goes to your but
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: like he lays it all out. He's like, I have
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: a spreadsheet. He's like, here's my password to my computer.
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: He's like, make sure you get this. Here's this, Like
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: he just laid it all out. I was like, fuck, yes,
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: I was like, thank you. It's and I didn't realize
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: how much of a you know, I'm using the term blessing,
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: but like, how thankful I should be sure that until
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: you read letters like that where it's just like that's
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: an added thing on on your plate when someone's already
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: passing in your greeting.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: As I've gotten older, my my thinking on this has
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: changed because you know, when I was younger, people would
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: ask me, you know, like, well, okay, so what would
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: you want if you were to die? Do you want
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: to be created?
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: Kids? It's like complicing, yeah, do.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: You want to be you know, burial? See what is
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: it that you want?
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Exactly? And I was fired out of a cannon into
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: the sun. When weekend at Bernie's, you guys a party
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: with me and see how long you can keep my
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: dead body going.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'll say this right now. When I die, I
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: do want the three of you to do a weekend
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: at Bernie's.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, I would, yeah, I would do that, just
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: for a couple of days and whatever happens after that. Whatever, Fine,
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: i can leave you on the beach and let the
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: Pelicans have you. But I'm going to hire a professional photographers. Nice.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, weekend to Bernie's. You gotta do it the right way,
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm Jim.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: Was not going to a beach. With all due respect,
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: I'm not leaving Jim in charge. That's fine. I want
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: to go someplace nice, bro, I'll take you. I'm not
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: going to travel, I mean, dead or alive.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: I Am not going on spirit, I'll tell you that.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: But here's joke's on you. I'm not paying extra to
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: carry your dass body. You've got time to say up
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: points you would qualify as baggage, and I'm not paying
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: for that.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: The point don't cover the bags.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: But my point is that, like I used to just think,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: like I don't care, like you know, because I'm going
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: to be dead, I don't care. Whatever you all decide
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: is going to be best for you as far as
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: grieving and whatever. Just do whatever you want with my belongings.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: I don't care. Spread them out however you want. And
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: now as I'm getting older and I'm hearing more of
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: these stories, I'm realizing like, oh, I'm not doing them
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: a favor. No, I need to be very clear and
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: we need to have a very specific plan.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: But story Nick, I've got a plan for you. Just
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: I'll just.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Leave you in charge. But here's the thing, like you
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: were talking to about, like the funeral and all of
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: these things after life that you all have to deal with.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: And it just reminds me of the conversation we just
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: had about having a contractor when you're doing home renovations
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: and how nice it would be if you just had
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: one point person that you could just hire.
• 15:51
  Speaker 5: Like a wedding planner.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: But it's funeral and some funeral homes do that.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there are funeral homes that have basically that service
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: where you just deal with person and they they they
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: deal with but.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: They do help with do they help with like kind
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: of like they have maybe the checklists. They're like, Okay,
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: here's how they deal with the hospital. They'll they'll do
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: all of that. And it's not just funeral they're they're
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: helping you figure out the end of life care. All right,
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: here's how you close bank account. Wow, they're doing all
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: that stuff. But there's so many things. That's how the
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: rich live. Yeah, there's so many loose but like, and
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: this goes back to something I was thinking about the
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: other day, like just the American healthcare system is so
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: fucking dumb, and like you look at these situations. Here
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: are these humans who have paid taxes their entire lives,
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: like they're in those elder years. It's the most predictable
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: goddamn thing that every American is going to go through
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: is to eventually have your health fail and be old
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: and like need some kind of support and care, but
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: not necessarily need to be checked into a hospital, you know,
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: just like with ivy sticking out of your arm, and
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: like we have not solved this, you know, like we
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: just cannot fucking solve this, but like we will absolutely,
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: you know, go build a new goddamn ballroom on the
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: White House, you know, And it's just like why can't
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: we solve this? And it's just so frustrating, Like reading
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: Sammy's letter and just realizing how powerless. Just back to back,
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: the hits keep on coming.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: So I will say too, like your question, Sammy, like,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: is there any way to kind of deal with these
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: feelings of exhaustion, guilt, fear, and so on and so forth,
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: I'll say, with the guilt, I would want to normalize
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: that a little bit, because I think anybody in your
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: situation is going to have those thoughts. And I think it's, yeah,
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: it's it's very honest and brave of you to just
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: admit it and.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Just like he's what the person did. No, but you
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: just want to not have to deal with this bullshit anymore. Yeah,
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Like that's that's reasonable, and and I mean you're you're
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: just you're just extrapolating to that that Like the way
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna have to deal with this anymore is
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: that is once they're dead. Right, But I mean, the
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: desire is not for this person to die. The desire
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: is to not have to deal with this bullshit. And
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: it's still gonna be still gonna be painful, it's still
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: gonna hurt. Like I'm having the same thoughts with my
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: dog Leyla. You know, she's fifteen years old. Her kidneys
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: are failing. She's just going through a lot of ship
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: and I keep having this thought of like, Okay, this
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: would be a lot easier once she passes, right, But
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: I'm still I know, yeah, about how much will be
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: whenj is dead.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: It's not because I hope she dies doormash simply yeah,
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: the DoorDash savings.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: Alone being alive. I'm just saying it'll be easier when
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: she's not.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, that's will just work a little bit better,
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: you know, Yeah, just asyrus of my spouse to die.
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: No.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: No, nor is like some people on this show who
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: are going through Craigslist looking for contractors.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Right, No, I like what you said, Nick, like normalizing it,
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: which is one of the things like we've had writers
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: in the past. I think similar to Sammy, where you're
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: just facing an unsolvable problem and it's so tough because
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: these unsolvable problems create just a mountain of emotion and
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: mental health anguish and to feel so powerless and worried. Right,
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: You're you're half a continent away from your loved one.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: They are incapable of self care. You've got to monitor
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: them from that far away. I know people in Sammy's
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: position that have cameras in the house to like watch
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: like the the the parent trying to call other people
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: to check on them, and like you're just you're so
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: powerless to help. And people say, oh, why don't you
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: just take the simple route and just move them into
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: my house? That may not be possible. It's not simple,
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: you know, there's not a simple route. Well violates and
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: it also violates the autonomy of dad, because Dad might
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: be like, look, I live in Florida, this is my home.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: I want to be in my home, and like I'm
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: mostly lucid, but then unreliably sometimes I'm not, And like
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: there is an autonomy to that too, And it's just
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: it's such a mess man, and it's just such a
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: difficult process. And I wish we had a system where
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: we could say, oh, here's the one weird trick. But like,
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: you try to use medicare, you try to use medicaid,
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: you try to use the state social services, you call around,
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: you look for help, and even personal like home care
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: and stuff. Sometimes that gets really rough too, because these
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: people are coming to the house and you're not there.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: You're not the contractor overseeing the work, and sometimes you're like,
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: are they really showing up, Dad, Like, what's going on?
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: Are they taking care of you? And you just can't
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: quarterback the thing? You just feel really powerless. What is
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: what would the best case scenario be.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: Let's just say that we don't have we don't have
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: to deal with any of the money, we don't have
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: to deal with any of the bullshit.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: If you have a loved one who lives.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: In a different state, who is you know, in deteriorating health, whatever,
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: whatever the cases are.
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: What is kind of the best looking solution for that? Right?
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: If there's not, if there's not, if money's no object.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: If money's no object, I think it's an assisted living facility.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: So they have different versions of this where there's assisted
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: living communities. Yeah, and you kind of have your own
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: little condo, but like all the are inhabited by folks
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: in similar positions. Some of them are more or less mobile.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: You'll have like the clubhouse in the middle of the community.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: You know, lose some of the autonomy with that though,
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: you do lose some of the autonomy. But they have
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: various gradients of this where we can preserve it for
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: as long as possible, and they'll have staff that come
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: and get you and say hey, today, we're all going
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: to have dinner over here at the clubhouse, or we
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: have a community bus, we're all going to take a
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: ride out to Hoover, Dan this weekend and go check
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: this out. So you still have your own space, but
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: then the staff are checking on you every day, and
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: like there are built in safety parameters. Everything's you know,
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: obviously eighty A compliant. So I mean, like if money's
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: no object, they have these options. But this is one
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: of the things that really again like punches me in
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: the gut about the American system is that if you're
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: let's say you're part of the millennial generation or Generation X,
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: so you were the least wealthy of every generation that
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: came before you, the most cost of living is than
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: anybody else, the highest cost to get into the market
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: with college and all the shit and student loans, highest
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: cost of childcare anybody ever had. Then your elders age
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: up and now they need help, and now they quickly
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: burn through all their money, and now you've got to
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: take care of them at end of life and pay
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: tons of money to put them somewhere safe. So then
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: you never get to this point where you're you're securing
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: your your own life, and so there's a lot of
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: people feel so guilty about this because like, could I
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: afford to put Dad in some gold standard you know,
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: yeah I could, But then we don't fucking live our lives, right,
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: I don't. My spouse deserves better than that, our future
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: deserves better than that. I can't rob our treasury to
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: do that. So I need Medicare and Medicaid to do
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: their job. But they are just like driving on flat tires,
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: and so you just end up trapped and there just
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: is no like good solution, as Sammy's saying, Like Sammy's
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: trying every possible door and has found nothing that really works.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: And I don't think Sammy's asking us for the golden
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: ticket here. She knows we don't know as much as
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: she does, and she's asking I'm a human. I'm broken.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: She knows well.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: The show, she's met us in person. She was one
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: of Whitney's ducks at h at one of the costume Well, Sammy,
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: I hope that helped. Yeah, she knows what this is.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: But yeah, coping with grief, I mean whenever you're in
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: and I think some of this is what we sometimes
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: call like pre grieving where you're sort of like anticipating
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: what's going to go wrong, and it's only going to
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: get harder for Sammy overtime. And I think that that's
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: what's really tough about this, is like you're trying to
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: protect your dad and the situation from anything that could
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: fall in hit the ground, but I just don't know
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: that you can. And so there's this almost acceptance is
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: Sammy's starting to pivot to of like the inevitability of death,
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: the inevitability of things going wrong, trying to clean up
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: the mess where I can, and just sort of being
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: on standby. But then I think you're living with this
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: perpetual anxiety right of like always waiting for the other
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: shoe to drop every phone call, worried that this is
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: the one, or when the neighbors call, or you haven't
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: heard from Dad, or he's not answering in the first ring.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: Just this constant fear and just being so far away.
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean it's hard to know what to tell
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: you to do or what suggestions to give to cope
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: because you're trying to figure out what reality is going
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: to be, Like you're not really sure where your dad's
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: gonna end up. I kind of wonder if there's an option.
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: I know y'all talk about giving up autonomy, but he's
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: starting to gain dementia, so the power of attorney thing
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: is going to be important. And at some point, yes,
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: we want elders to have autonomy, but there is like
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: a U was that a full crumb, Like there's a
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: tipping point where right, at some point, if you are
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: going to be the quote caregiver, the person responsible for
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: this older person, maybe you move them up to a
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: assisted living facility nearby or an apartment nearby, you right
• 24:39
  Speaker 5: where the four hours of medicare like covered can help
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: and then you can check in and really like maybe
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: set up those other things like food delivery. But you're
• 24:49
  Speaker 5: able to check in, you know, two hours in the evening,
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: they're there four hours, like you can call, you can
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: they can get the life alert, like.
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: At least in state, because in New York, I'm sure
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: that there's different pricings in different areas.
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: Is I think she's out kind of not in New
• 25:04
  Speaker 5: York City if I remember, like she's a little more outskirts.
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: But yeah, something like that is what I would consider
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: looking into. And you talk about how to manage your
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: emotions I know that is a big endeavor as well,
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: but I feel like long term that allows you a
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: little more peace of mind and almost more space in
• 25:23
  Speaker 5: your downtime to relax more rather than being across the country. Yeah,
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: but when you get to a point of security and
• 25:32
  Speaker 5: knowing where Dad's going to be and what you decide
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: based on help that's available out there, which I know
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: can be limited, I think just setting some time for yourself,
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: using any support people around you, like, do you have
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: friends you can reach out to that like your community.
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: Basically, which to Sammy's credit, and this is one of
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: those stories that we actually are very aware of what
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: Sammy's going through because Sammy actually posts in our discord.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: We have channel that are just for people to vent
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: and get feedback and nobody really offering to fix it necessarily.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: We have channels where it's just I need to get
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: this off my chest. And Sammy has shared and opened
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: up about a lot of this, which has really allowed
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: a lot of people in our discord, which by the way,
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: our discord is filled with hundreds and hundreds of people
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: who are some of the best humans you'll ever meet
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: on the world, and they basically just organically form these
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: support groups where they're like, hey, Sammy, you heard about this.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: They're trying to give her feedback, advice, they're doing research
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: for and then a lot of times just being that
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: shoulder or resonating and saying, hey, I've been through what
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: you're going through. There will be peace on the other
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: side of this, but this is hard, and here are
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: some guiding values that I encourage you to think about
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: so that you can sleep at night, ors that you
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: can feel like you did what you could when you could.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: So I love that suggestion. I'm just echoing it and saying,
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: luckily our discord has become part of that they are,
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: but that in person component is really important.
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: Too, I know, just to give you a break, or
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: somebody to help check it on your dad if he
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: makes it up closer to you, just to pop in
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: and say, hey, I don't know, that's just where I
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: go to because that is where even my my friends
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: with kids, I you know, I'm always keeping someone's fucking
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: kid at my house.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, it's because against her.
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: They need the community that we've lost, whether that's for
• 27:11
  Speaker 5: aging parents, whether that's for like young children, or just
• 27:14
  Speaker 5: ourselves to have friends to reach out to.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Wow, that was a that was a back in my
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: day from Whitney. Yeah, yeah, so old.
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: Well maybe because I again, I know y'all met my
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: mom and love her, but she was gone a lot,
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: so I relied on my friends and their parents. Like
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: maybe it's passed on from that, but I think for older, older,
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: aging parents that's a new territory and not something we're
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: as familiar with. My grandma she lived to ninety five,
• 27:43
  Speaker 5: and she was pretty independent until ninety one when she
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: had a stroke. But she after that it was like
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: a quick downhill for her, like just mentally and watching
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: her go through the system and trying to manage where
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: to place her that gives the right amount of care
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: because that was tough. They actually end up placing her
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: in a lower level of care. But then my uncles
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: she had a lot of kids, so all my uncles
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: and my dad would go in and check on her
• 28:11
  Speaker 5: right or stay with her. It was she needed a
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: higher level of care, but that requires a different placement,
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: where again it's more expensive. I think it was like
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: six thousand dollars a month or something to place somebody
• 28:23
  Speaker 5: in like full care where they are checking on you.
• 28:26
  Speaker 5: Because her blood sugar would be like all this stuff. Yeah,
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: and this place was like two thousand and I don't know,
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: twenty five hundred a month and stead see six.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: Thousand and I think that's my advice to Sammy. The
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: last thing I got on this is like, you know,
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: wanting to do right by your dad. We all deserve
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: something like that, and very few of us will actually
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: get it. So I think my advice to you is
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: to be able to kind of separate what your father
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: deserves versus what you're actually capable of giving him.
• 29:00
  Speaker 5: Setting expectations.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, because I mean Jim's right, I mean, there's
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: we all deserve about it.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: I'm just checking to see I anybody's ever said that
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: on the show before. Okay, hey, yeah, Jim's right.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: No, but like none of us, very very very few
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: of us are going to actually get anything close to
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: what we actually deserve at the time of death. And
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: so yeah, just your expectations. I think you're just going
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: to have to do the best with what you can,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: and I think that's you should You should be proud
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: of yourself for doing that.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, my greatest fear is that I will get exactly
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: what I deserve before I The answer is always Yes,
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Karma is always standing in the backyard staring through the windows.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: Not today, Karma.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: I just imagine the last thing he sees is looking
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: up the sky and a whole bunch of Uber lifts,
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: Uber uber eats drivers around him.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're here for our timp, mister Smith slowly fade
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: to black. Don't be mistaken. After I die, those industries
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: are going to go away. I'm holding up the Las
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: Vegas martin propping the single handedly. I love the Jack
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: Handy quote that he says. Whenever people lower me into
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: the grave at my funeral, I hope what they look
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: at and say is.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Man, he owed me so much money, Sammy. We love you,
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: you know. And I'm glad that our community is one
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: of the things that helps you get through this. I'm
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: glad that our show has given you those little mental
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: breaks to just escape your world for a little while
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: and just know that you are supported and cared for.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: But you know, this is one of those just gripping
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: realities that there is no wiggling way out of it.
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: And so sometimes, like the coping skill is just finding
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: those moments of escape wherever you can, those mental breaks,
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: using our support system to talk about it. I'm going
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: to be announcing in a future show that I'm actually
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: going to launch support groups as part of my practice,
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: and my interns are actually going to lead those, and
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: those are going to be completely open because they're non clinical. Yes,
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: I'm going to get your ass back in the closet.
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: I did not release you yet. That's not going to happen.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: I will tell you when it's time. She's very quick. Actually,
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: she lives here. She's she's she's the wife of the
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: painter tamper Ms.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: Grudge is full of treasures. You get back in the garage,
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: get back on the shelf where I left you. We're
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: gonna take a quick break, and when we come back,
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: we're talking about another woman being in love with my man.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: You are listening, Joe Joline, you're listening to pod therapy.
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: I'm right.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is Bronzy by Smitty Scoop, Mason Miller, Test Miller, Miler,
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: t Harris, Tea, Monica, Chris Swanrose, Anna, Marie, Emma Kine, Myra.
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: And Sam Cone. Would you like sponsor the show?
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Come at the producer patre dot com. Splash there all right,
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: Jimmy true me for a bit of a loop because did.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: I go with the wrong script? Okay, my bad. Okay,
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: it's a double. I can't be trusted.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, So then this one is actually going to be
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: four fifth four fourteen. We're gonna do this one first,
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: got it?
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm following you. I'm telling future Jim. So when
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: you listen back to this, you know when to post it.
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: He's not gonna list He's great, it's gonna be fun.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: He's all right, uh.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Continuing on. We're what are we doing? This is our
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: closest without going over our price is right rules? Okay
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: for this last time?
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah she did?
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I got them all wrong.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: Here we go. I thought you like crushed this, No, Jim,
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: I thought that it was win a lot. I win
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: so much I forget it was.
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: Like eighty price of eighties.
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, Christmas toys. Here we go.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Now we're in nineteen ninety seven. The Tomaucci Didchi did
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: you have?
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: I think I did for the best.
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: There's a there's a pet rock there was, yeah, okay,
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: not a millennial.
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: The time I got you was basically the new version
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: of Giga Pet Gia pet.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, the tiny beeping keychain that died if you
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: looked away for two hours.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: The best thing about it was that it did actually die. Yes, yes,
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: if the thing died, you couldn't reboot it. No, it
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: was just you had just thrown your money away and
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: the thing was now a paper.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: You had to go buy another.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: The original ones anyway, maybe they changed them up at
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: some point, but like the original ones, the first ones
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: out of I think Japan, the ones that we come
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: over from Japan's that's like it was all Japanese writing
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: in them, and like once they were dead, they were
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: it was like an animal had died.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: And then a little message camp said, you have shamed
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: your family and yourself.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: Here's a sword.
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: Sepuku is the way. Oh my god. That's why they
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: went out of business. It was number of peak customers.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: In US stores in the late nineties roughly What was
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: the suggested retail price of the TAMAGATCHI use the low
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: to mid range, not scalper prices.
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, oh all right, close? Is that going over?
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: Who's starting us off?
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: Go for it.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna go.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: This is ninety seven, Yeah, nineteen ninety seven.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: Give me thirty bucks.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, wait me take thirty.
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: On the not my instinct was twenty five. So but
• 34:28
  Speaker 5: is that a bad strategy to guess twenty five? I
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: never know twenty five because I want to.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so you go twenty five, you'll have anywhere from
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: twenty five to twenty nine.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: Which I'm fine with. Okay with that, I want one dollar.
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: I think they're both over what a doche Well, I was.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: Actually going to go under two, but I won't be
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: a dick. I'll go ten dollars.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: Oh there you go. Well now, yeah, everybody's got a
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: little realized you were playing to breathe. Well, now you
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: know I do.
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: Uh, I hope it's twenty be there.
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: What did you say? Twenty five? Twenty five? It's me
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: I got it roughly fifteen to twenty dollars. Wow, it's
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: cheaper than I was honestly thinking about sixty. They were
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: so in demand. There a rare individual have.
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: Been like, what is the ray? Was the answer. I'll
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: tell you what I said.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: Guides on rare tom Gotchi versions listed document price. Documentary
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: prices oh up to about two thy nine and ninety
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: nine dollars for extremely rare white and red models.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: Yes, wow, there we go, let's do one more.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: Nineteen ninety eight.
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, the Ferbie, this is definitely Ferbie. Jacob's got to
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: start it.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: The creepy cute owl hamster robot that learned English. Still
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: was the original nineteen ninety eight nineteen ninety eight retail
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: price of a Ferbie.
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: These are the original ais first. Okay, this I will
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: say was twenty two dollars and fifty cents. Okay, I
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: was going to go thirty five, but you still can.
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: I am, I'm going to do that. In fact, you
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: have h was looking it up on his phone. I
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: am not. I was typing you guys a text message.
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: All right. So what are the numbers? Twenty two to
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: fifty and thirty thirty five? Oh boy, give me forty.
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: Twenty five?
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: Oh the original thirty five bucks? Oh but wow, I
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: give myself I don't know, five points and you get
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: like a one hundred dollars bill.
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: I think.
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: I think Loob Barker shows up and gives you one
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: hundred dollars from nineteen ninety seven from Ny. So we
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: just paid off your house man.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: You cannot retire the collector high and he guesses it's
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: going to be a ten k.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: They'll breaking a sweat. Yeah, if we get a beanie
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: baby's question, we are deeply fucked because the top notch
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: on that's going to be insane collector high.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: I was six thousand fous Okay, all right, so ty
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: game Whitney and Nick neck and neck.
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: No, I won both of them, So Whitney and Nick
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: both have points. Question fine number two Another woman, another
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: woman is in love with my man. Hey, guys, and
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: missus pewpuw. I wrote in a few months ago about
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: my partner and I's mismatched sex drive, and y'all really
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: hit the mark with the nuance and sensitivity around the subject.
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: I'm glad to announce talking about it was a great
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: opportunity to understand each other better. And things are great
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: going nine months strong, except for this one lady going
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: to say we should just start Oh okay, oh a lady.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: To give a tiny bit of context, this lady we
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: can call her Ka and my boyfriend Jay had an
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: intimate relationship about a year or so ago, knowing each
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: other for about two years total. It was casual and
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: they stopped sleeping together six months before Jay and I met.
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: Kay is deeply in love with Jay, and I guess
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: just kind of hoped he would come around, because as
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: soon as she found out Jay had a partner, she
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: sent a long message about how she needs to create
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: distance because Kay is so in love with Jay. This
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: obviously rubbed me the wrong way, but okay, first red flag.
• 38:22
  Speaker 3: Now she's back and she won't leave him alone. She
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: ended up blocking him on everything. Then when she readded him,
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: sent another long text about how she wishes things could
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: go back to normal. Okay, second red flag. Really, my
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: question is how do I shake this woman from my psyche.
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: I trust my boyfriend one hundred percent he would and
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: could be with her if he wanted to. Jay has
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: made his feelings clear to both Kay and myself, and
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: I really do believe him. He does care for her
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: as a friend and does want to have a casual
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: relationship with her. I just can't seem to get this
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: woman out of my head and out of my relationship.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: I don't want to ask Jay to stop talking decay
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: because I don't think I should have that kind of
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: authority over other people's lives. I know I probably just
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: have deep seated trust issues, but the disconnect between my
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: logical brain and my subconscious is driving me crazy. Any
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: advice thinks as always anonymous.
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: So it's kind of like obsessing over the thought that
• 39:25
  Speaker 5: your partner could leave you for someone else.
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't know how I feel, Okay, So writers,
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: those are really high things are this letter's really got
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: my balls and advice there. I like the writer's deference
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: so like, I think it's a very modern and progressive
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: perspective to say, look, yeah, the voice drops down deeper.
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: I like I like that writers saying I don't want
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: to be one of those partners who's like controlling you
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: and going through your messages or following up with you,
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: or saying you're not allowed to talk to X, Y
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: and Z. I like writer's perspective on that. Sure, But
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: there's a part of me that feels like when when
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: somebody has announced their intention to ruin your relationship, they
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: have made it clear I am trying to steal this
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: person away from you. I have feelings for them, I
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: am petitioning them to try to come back. I am
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: soliciting at the door, so to speak. Now do we
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: know that that has happened. I got that impression from
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: these two red flags. It sounds like there were messages
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: saying these things. Yeah, long letters I want you back, Yeah,
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: I want you back. And like so like the.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: Blocking on social media and the re adding, because don't
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: you when you block somebody on social media, if you
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: if you readd them, it's just like an old follow request, right,
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Like it's just it just goes back to that. It
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: doesn't like pop back up. Like if Nick and I
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: are friends on Instagram, right and I block Nick on Instagram, right,
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: which anyone can do because it's fine. Nick's Instagram account
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: doesn't do anything.
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he also doesn't even know that he has. But
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: it's actually doing the same thing that a pet rock
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: did back in the year. It's doing the same thing
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: Tomagotchi does pet rock Instagram accounts. Kind of a good idea.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: Replace the picture with a pet rock. You're done, but
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: you were saying you can block him, like you doesn't
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: after you after you get blocked, doesn't he have to
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: then like accept accept the request? Doesn't it become just
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: a request at that point? And if that's what you're doing,
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm this is this is weird, Yeah.
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: You mean like weird behavior for the boyfriend.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: First, it's weird, but it's weird not even weird behavior.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: That's I don't understand what the boyfriend is doing.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: So kay.
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: The other woman, who I believe we should all just
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: call Joe Lean Joline, is reaching out to boyfriend and
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: she is saying like I want you back, like she
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: is sending long messages, so she unblocked. She's initiating contact,
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: and then because the initial thing was blocking him because
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: of this big long rant about like I have feelings
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: for you, I can't be with you. I'm going to
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: block you. Okay, fine, that's dramatic, goodbye, but like to
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: unblock and then to send me a big long thing
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: that says I want you back, I have feelings for you.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: I am confessing my feelings for you what I don't.
• 42:29
  Speaker 5: Know what I do.
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: The more I'm sitting here in this, the more I
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: think this is boyfriend's fault. Go on, the more I
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: blame boyfriends. Is this because you believe women? It's because
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: I belok Okay, yeah, no, I blame boyfriend in this
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: because if someone confesses their love to me, yes as
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: I have often, as you have often, and says like
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: my my stated goal is to end your relationship with
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: your with your partner that you're you're in a relationship
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: right now, so that you and I can be in
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: a relationship and boyfriend doesn't just nip it. Yeah, and like,
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: by nipp it, I I kind of mean cut contact. Yeah,
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: I feel like the expectation can be I think the
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: expectation is to cut contact.
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: And I like writers saying like, look, I don't want
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: to impose it, and that's fine. And I'm not even
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: saying this like oh, just play.
• 43:29
  Speaker 5: For your boyfriend, and like say Jacob said a doctorate.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: It's not that writer is demanding that boyfriend cut ties
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: because with with the with the other person, because you
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: are intimidated by this in some way.
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: It's also rude, sure, and a bit of an attack
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: on what you're doing and what you have built.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Deistically, this is definitely, at the very least, this
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: is disrespectful.
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: Yes, I can I devils please? You would you tramp
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: go on? I think you would.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: You keep rephrasing this, and I think your take on
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: this might be a little bit different than talking to
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: appointing to Jim with my usual Okay, so she says,
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: uh that that long text, long message about how she
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: needs to be Oh wait, I'm reading the wrong one
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: about how she wishes things could go back to normal.
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: Yes, and you're right right. Boyfriend has said, I'm telling
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: you where I stand, not in.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: What I'm saying, Okay, go ahead, back to normal. You
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: are interpreting that as a sexual romantic relationship. But what
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: if she is saying back to normal like we used
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: to be friends.
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: I blocked you. I want to go block and be cool. Yeah,
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: we were.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: Friends, we had a casual relatetionship. I would love things
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: to go back to normal, as in like being friends.
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: Does that change? That changes everything? That does change everything.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: You know what I think if you make a good point,
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: I think your point is we should presume that because
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: that would make more sense where writers writing from. Because
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: writer says in the following paragraph, boyfriend has made it
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: clear to Kay where things stand. But we all sort
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: of assume Kay has permanent, enduring feelings. But Kay is
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: saying him, I'm blocking you. Let's go back to normal,
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: which probably means let's have a benign platonic. Because I
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: think we're all.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: On the same page that if Joline is writing in
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: saying hey, I really want you.
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: Bad, then that's not cool cool. There puts a burden
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: on boyfriend to be like, Yo, this person can't just
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: be standing outside of our door the whole time, like
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: you have to shoot them away.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: The boyfriend then is put in a position of like, Okay,
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: well we can't have sex, right, but I'll still hang
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: out with you.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so you're right, And so this makes more
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: sense where writers saying boyfriend wants to have a casual
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: relationship with her friendship, just allow her to be in
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: the ecosystem of friends, but writers saying, but this is
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: in my head because I know where this person used
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: to stand.
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: It is a weird thing.
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: Like if Whitney had said openly and publicly instead of
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: just closed off and privately through the signal check, if
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: Whitney said over and over again how much she desired
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: to be in a relationship with me?
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then also stay off my man, bitch. Sure.
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: So wait a minute, you guys have the is going
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: on and we're all dating each other, right, we need
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: to come out with it. We need to finally talk
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: about it. We're all fucking god.
• 46:39
  Speaker 5: Theoretically, theoretically, everyone.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: It would then even if even if we did all
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: of these things, even if if we went through the
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: whole blocking thing, and then the whole, like, let's get
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: our relationship back to just being friendly and whatever.
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: All of that has still happened, right, Like all of
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: that is still in the history books. And if you
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: were if you had formally dated, sure, and he was
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: also your ex and it's like, can we be cool now, right,
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: and the relationship ends with like the I care about you,
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: I can't live without you. But then it's like, okay,
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: enough time's gone by, I'm cool. Now cool. People like, yeah,
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: it's cool.
• 47:15
  Speaker 5: Whitney comes around.
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: If you were delivering door that Whitney, You're gonna go
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: have a friends of friends lunch. You're right, no big deal,
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: is going to have some equestions on that. A little
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: discomfort here, maybe yeah, or maybe be like yes, go
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: you what I didn't say, what her opinions?
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: They might be happy, all right, Whitney. Give us the
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: girls opinions here, because women know women. So you're b
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: writer for a second. Tell us how you feel about
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: Jolene and and like whether you trust her. And I
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: don't want to hear you as Julie. I do want
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: to hear you as Joline. I do want I want
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: to hear the strong man argument. I want to hear
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: the Joelene as I'm not a whore.
• 47:57
  Speaker 5: I was going to put on a scent like from
• 47:59
  Speaker 5: her perspective.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Sorry, we want you to address up as Dolly Parton.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: I think that's where we're going with this.
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: By the way, if you've never listened to Dolly Parton,
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: explain how she wrote Jolene, just do yourself a favorite.
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: Look it up.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: It feels like a cashier involved that was talking to
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: her husband at a point it is. It's genuinely a
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: good story of how she wrote that song, So be
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: the writer. How do you feel about a Joline situation
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: where she says, let's assume Nick's interpretation. Joline is saying,
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: I declare good intentions. I'm no longer petitioning to be
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: with you, but we have formerly been together. Things ended
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: with me begging for you back. But now I respect
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: your relationship and I just want to be a friend.
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: Unblock me, let me exist in the ecosystem.
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: And your partner is saying, yeah, I think everything's cool now.
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: I think I think the smoke is cleared. I think
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: she accepts our relationship. She knows where I stand. She
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: doesn't think that there's a chance, and now we can
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: just be platonic buddies.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: Do here everything that you are saying, and I would
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: suggest you do it in the butt and with some
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: COVALSI eight.
• 49:01
  Speaker 5: So I guess my thoughts on this are On one hand,
• 49:05
  Speaker 5: I think men do this more than women, where they
• 49:09
  Speaker 5: kind of assume best case scenario like, oh, she's just
• 49:12
  Speaker 5: trying to be a friend, it's not a big deal.
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: I'm terrible about this.
• 49:16
  Speaker 5: Yes, I think most Sorry, and maybe i'm gender stereotyping here.
• 49:20
  Speaker 5: I noticed with most most men that is like kind
• 49:23
  Speaker 5: of a go to thought process, like no, this is
• 49:26
  Speaker 5: what she said, and it's like we assume good intentions.
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: I wish the cameras were on you could see Whitney's face.
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: Whitney made the face that all women thought. She may
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: right there smirk with.
• 49:37
  Speaker 5: An eyebrow.
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: The are you sure about that.
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: Expression very clearly said okay, bitch, yeah, yeah, you dumb
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: mother pucker. Okay, bitch, yeah, that's right. That was the
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: put the arm around him, move him out of the way.
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: Ear rings are coming off as she's walking forward.
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: So you're saying that most men are are completely uh,
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: I guess dilute clue yeah, clueless, thank you, we don't
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: and maybe I'll.
• 50:04
  Speaker 5: Say what next thing like benefit of the doubt, just
• 50:06
  Speaker 5: like with the person doing his painting, and how did
• 50:10
  Speaker 5: that work out for you giving them the benefit of
• 50:13
  Speaker 5: the doubt.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: It's done, I mean mostly don't take him back there
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: this don't They'll let him hijack the show.
• 50:20
  Speaker 5: With the painting go on, just saying like that's the
• 50:23
  Speaker 5: perfect example of the work's not done, but the employment
• 50:26
  Speaker 5: with those.
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: Other people is done.
• 50:27
  Speaker 5: That's why said it's done.
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: So you say, you say, writer, I agree with you.
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: I don't trust Jolene either, and but I don't think
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: boyfriend is doing anything nefarious. I think he is completely
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: indifferent and benign. He is clueless. He doesn't get it.
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: He's like, yeah, sure, we used to be together, now
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: we're not. I don't like her anymore. She doesn't like
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: me anymore. We could be buddies, no big deal.
• 50:46
  Speaker 5: But like, here's the thing is that women, especially if
• 50:51
  Speaker 5: she's already expressed this woman in particular, this is the
• 50:54
  Speaker 5: vibe I get from what you've written, basically that she
• 50:57
  Speaker 5: was in love is in love still with uh Jay,
• 51:01
  Speaker 5: and she took time apart and maybe wants to come back.
• 51:05
  Speaker 5: But in my mind, she's still seeking that connection. Like,
• 51:09
  Speaker 5: think about anyone from your past that maybe you have
• 51:13
  Speaker 5: or haven't tried to reach out to. Why didn't you
• 51:15
  Speaker 5: or why did you? Like if you did, you're seeking
• 51:18
  Speaker 5: that connection.
• 51:18
  Speaker 3: That really, removing the block is not an impartial action,
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: that is a seeking action.
• 51:25
  Speaker 5: Exactly removed the block, and she reached out again, saying,
• 51:29
  Speaker 5: you know, I want things to go back to normal
• 51:32
  Speaker 5: because normal turr led to the relationship before. And I
• 51:35
  Speaker 5: also think you have been with your partner for nine months.
• 51:39
  Speaker 5: That's wonderfully all of been going strong. I think you're
• 51:42
  Speaker 5: this girl might Joline, sorry Juliane might see this as
• 51:46
  Speaker 5: not that serious. Exactly, this isn't like a decade long
• 51:51
  Speaker 5: relationship or something like that. You'll have kids, I don't know.
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: So she doesn't want to threaten it openly. She just
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: wants to be in the mix. She wants to be
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: a jail for the rebound. That's it.
• 52:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Like we can still be cool and talk and
• 52:05
  Speaker 5: you're not blocked.
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: Whether she has changed goals or not, she has definitely
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: changed tactics.
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: Now, let me ask you this though, way part of
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: me so I agree with you. I think that that
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: interpretation of Jolean's intentions is probably accurate. But then I
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: wonder you or the writer, to what extent can you
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: really defend that, because there's always an ecosystem of women
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: that exist that probably are keeping an eye on some
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: guys to see, like, oh, what's going on with that
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: guy's relationship? Certainly are did that end?
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: And if that happens, then they are going to run
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: in for the rebound and they do want to be
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: next on deck, and they're not going to be rude
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: about it. They're not going to be a whore and
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: like challenge it, but like they they are going to
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: occasionally signal I'm around and I still like you, but
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to threaten your relationship. And is it
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: reasonable for you or the writer to like run around
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: trying to patrol all that or defend all that.
• 52:52
  Speaker 5: So and this is all through text, right, This isn't
• 52:54
  Speaker 5: like sounds like a good messenger or something like. That's
• 52:56
  Speaker 5: not social media.
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: I get the feelings direct message.
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: Part of it was through social medi direct message, because
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: because the blocking and unblocking based on that, I assumed
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: that some of it was was social media direct message.
• 53:07
  Speaker 5: I think you can block on iPhone. Again, I've never
• 53:09
  Speaker 5: done it that. I have clients who.
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: You could definitely block people on your phone. Oh yeah,
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: so you don't reply to anything I send you? What
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: the fuck? No, you're not blocked? Oh I see every
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: message you said? Okay, oh all right, kind of wish
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: I was blocked. Yeah, see it hurts. Yeah, yeah, jeez.
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: You shouldn't ask a fucking questions. But some things I
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: don't want to know.
• 53:32
  Speaker 5: Uh, But okay, so let's say it's text messaging, because
• 53:35
  Speaker 5: I think it's a little different. Let's say text messaging.
• 53:37
  Speaker 5: She unblocked and now she's sending this message. My theory
• 53:40
  Speaker 5: is if the if I were in your shoes and
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: like Peter is going through this, yeah, it would probably
• 53:45
  Speaker 5: drive me a little bit crazy, like what's going on?
• 53:47
  Speaker 5: Because I think men are just like whatever, I just
• 53:49
  Speaker 5: won't respond, But women like want finality or something like
• 53:52
  Speaker 5: well tell her, tell them, tell her this, like tell
• 53:55
  Speaker 5: her you don't want to be with her that no,
• 53:57
  Speaker 5: blah blah blah. And I think men are just like, well,
• 53:59
  Speaker 5: I'm it's not going to respond then, And.
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: Because yeah, because there is a fear of I think
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: on the man's part of like Okay, I'm gonna tell
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: her this. There's this fear that I'm misreading the situation
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: and that I'm going to say, hey, look, we're not
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: going to have sex, We're not going to be you know,
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: a sexual relationship, and then this exactly, Oh.
• 54:23
  Speaker 5: I know, it's like a wedding crashers.
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you shoved your tits in my face. You put
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: your face in my tits, You pervert.
• 54:39
  Speaker 5: Okay, So that's the fear behind that, and that I
• 54:42
  Speaker 5: see that because.
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: It's a logical fear.
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: No.
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: No, But women are also masters of this plausible deniability move.
• 54:48
  Speaker 5: Yes, I do, because they don't want to be caught
• 54:51
  Speaker 5: in their plan either. If that's the plan, she doesn't
• 54:53
  Speaker 5: want to be caught up in, but she.
• 54:54
  Speaker 3: Wants to be in the orbit. She wants to be
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: close enough that she can race for the rebound of
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: it happens. Would you try to block her or you
• 55:03
  Speaker 3: would you advise any action steps for the right I
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: don't think so.
• 55:07
  Speaker 5: And so this is where if if you're dude, if
• 55:10
  Speaker 5: it's social media and your person's on social media all
• 55:13
  Speaker 5: the time and this person's like messaging them, I might
• 55:17
  Speaker 5: go the curiosity route. You can say, oh, well, have
• 55:21
  Speaker 5: they been messaging you or like since then? And they say, oh, yeah,
• 55:23
  Speaker 5: they have a couple of times. Okay, well what did
• 55:26
  Speaker 5: they say? Do you mind sharing? And once they share that,
• 55:30
  Speaker 5: it's kind of like digging in a little more like, oh, well,
• 55:33
  Speaker 5: like is that something you want? Do you want them
• 55:35
  Speaker 5: to be in our friend group?
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 55:36
  Speaker 5: I would absolutely go the exploration route because we don't
• 55:39
  Speaker 5: want to be caught up in next trap of like
• 55:42
  Speaker 5: what you just want? Um blocked? Like I don't know,
• 55:44
  Speaker 5: Peter and I just don't exist that way, So it's
• 55:46
  Speaker 5: really hard for I get some people do and like
• 55:48
  Speaker 5: if that's your vibe, fine, but it's just no until
• 55:52
  Speaker 5: I have a reason to like not trust you.
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: It may like I don't believe you.
• 55:55
  Speaker 5: Dig in my head.
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: Nick and I are both feeling emotionally the same thing,
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: like oh so what did she say? Oh? Would you
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: like her to be in our friend group? That's a trap?
• 56:06
  Speaker 5: My man.
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: Guy from Star Wars screaming you are going to tight
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: rope dude, also like did you reply, yeah, what did
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: you say? Oh? I fucked?
• 56:21
  Speaker 5: This is all bad? What did you say?
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: You did? She turned it around on fast Man.
• 56:32
  Speaker 5: I tried him to come at you. It's to get
• 56:34
  Speaker 5: you to realize, because my thing is Peter just wouldn't reply.
• 56:37
  Speaker 5: He just stopped responding, And really that's the only right move.
• 56:40
  Speaker 5: If you're dude and you don't want to assume things,
• 56:42
  Speaker 5: but you don't want to encourage things, then yeah, like.
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: I brought has walked in the room?
• 56:54
  Speaker 5: Is here a guest appearance?
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: What did you say?
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: Did Jacob brief you?
• 57:01
  Speaker 5: Women's response? Wait what did you say?
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: What?
• 57:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he just became Jerry Springer Jesus Yeah, so
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: Phil Phil s j N.
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: Give her the quick nickel sorry, and see what she thinks.
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: I think I can do it. I'll give her the
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: quick summary. So our writer is in a relationship, has
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: been in a relationship for like a year and a
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: half nine months. Sorry, So writer's ex girlfriend who he
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: was last with six months before this relationship when that
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: relationship ended. Ex girlfriend had written this big, long thing
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: to him, I can't be without you. I think we
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: should be together and because I can't stand not being
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: with you and to block you on everything, goodbye. Great.
• 57:38
  Speaker 3: They fast forward. He's in this new relationship and then
• 57:41
  Speaker 3: X reaches out and says, hey, I'm unblocking you. I
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: want things to kind of go back to normal. Let's
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: be cool. So girlfriend is writing into the show and saying, so,
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: I have feelings about that, but like I don't want
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: a boss boyfriend around and say like, oh, you can't
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: talk to her. Okay, she doesn't seem to be openly
• 58:00
  Speaker 3: threatening our relationship, but I distrust her intentions. I think
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: that she's trying to kind of get in nearby to
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: see what's up. There's a couple of red flags here,
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: and so writers saying, am I in the wrong, I'm
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: feeling anxious about this? Or should I be pushing back
• 58:15
  Speaker 3: on this, and so getting women's opinions about this. Whitney's
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: opinion is that Joe Lene is the nickname we've given
• 58:23
  Speaker 3: the ex girlfriend, that Joelene is getting herself well positioned
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: to be on deck to jump in here and you
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: get a shot. And she's also saying that she doesn't
• 58:33
  Speaker 3: feel comfortable just shutting the door on Joelene because that's
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: a little insecure, but is very aware that Joelene is
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: making some subtle moves here.
• 58:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I didn't say don't shut the door, but I
• 58:43
  Speaker 5: don't think you have control over another person, so you
• 58:45
  Speaker 5: can't right. I mean, I guess you could tell them
• 58:47
  Speaker 5: you want them, you want your boyfriend to not talk
• 58:49
  Speaker 5: to her, But I don't know that seems like we
• 58:51
  Speaker 5: are going down a controlling route. Nick also brought up
• 58:54
  Speaker 5: that when the girl, the ex girlfriends that I want
• 58:57
  Speaker 5: things to go back to normal, does that back into
• 59:01
  Speaker 5: a relationship or does that mean like, oh, I just
• 59:03
  Speaker 5: want to be cool again. I just want to be friends.
• 59:05
  Speaker 5: I know she has the plan and she's like trying
• 59:07
  Speaker 5: to just be friends, right, Like, oh, I just want
• 59:10
  Speaker 5: to be friends again after I told you I loved
• 59:11
  Speaker 5: you and blocked you, and then now I'm I wish I.
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: Could translate all the facial expressions like Jay is on
• 59:16
  Speaker 3: a journey, you have to you have to talk. Yeah,
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: is holding the microphone in her laugh.
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: That's Jay, who is a professional entertainer does not want
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: to talk into the.
• 59:25
  Speaker 6: Micro story is like trash. I had to sing for
• 59:28
  Speaker 6: thirteen hours yesterday, no joke. Yeah, that was what I did.
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: That was the same noise I made. I went to
• 59:39
  Speaker 3: high pitch.
• 59:40
  Speaker 6: How old are you too? A good question?
• 59:42
  Speaker 5: Okay, okay, good question?
• 59:44
  Speaker 6: Differently now and.
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, additional thirty yeah, extra innings.
• 59:52
  Speaker 6: As we call it before I would have gone nuclear.
• 59:55
  Speaker 6: And I think.
• 59:57
  Speaker 3: How I mean, hilarious things like have happened, marriage therapy.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 5: Has begotten, like a lot of ship has I can think.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 2: Of multiple people that have, for lack of a better
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: way to say this, have confessed their love to me.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: Okay again, I told you that inconfidence, and I feel weird.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: I am no longer I'm no longer a host.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: I'm in the audience.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: I hear more about this. I'm just gonna set my
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: microphone down. I'm saying, give us to your mic These
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: things have happened in the past, like what did you think?
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: Why did you? How did you deal with it? Then?
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 6: I think multiple is a strong word.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 3: There you go.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's over estimating a little bit. Yeah, just take
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: him down and not Jess Jay. Later on off the air,
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have her name the people that she's
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: thinking gov and we're going to see they're the same people,
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: because I know that it's multiple.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 5: Can be present though off the air.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm just not naming people for their private Yeah,
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: we're going to name people. That's right. There will be
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: an audit off I am going to prove my point.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 6: There was a time when he was on the road
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 6: and you know, he wasn't with me and there was
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 6: I think that made me uncomfortable. I was like, because
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 6: I'm not there. You know, it was like this, there's
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 6: someone that's attracted to me, and I was like, well,
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 6: you better.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: Tend her to go.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah. He's like, how would you like, won't you know?
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 6: I think we were engaged at the time. It was
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 6: a long time ago. I was like early, yeah, very early,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 6: so I was much more like protective, but like now,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 6: I don't know, like I I would probably still go
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 6: with somebody.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 5: That was Jim's prediction. She's like, I was like, well,
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 5: I'm getting curious. I get curious about like, oh, are
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 5: they messaging you? Are you still messaging them? Is this
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 5: just an unblocked she sent this message and you left
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 5: her on red? Because if he left her on red,
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 5: then I don't give a fuck, like right.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 6: But if she blocks you like that, who cares?
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 3: Like right, But you're just going.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 5: To be curious. You're not going to go ape shape.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 5: He's like, that's a trap.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: Well did you mess but you're doing anything. So we're
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 3: in agreement that there's no action the writer needs to take.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: But the writer's kind of not really writing us saying
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: what should I do? The writers saying, but I'm finding
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: myself preoccupied with this and I've only been in this
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: relationship for nine months, and I think this is an
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: interesting question that a lot of humans, women and men
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 3: are going to experience, where it's like, well do we
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: play relationship defense? Like how do I reassure myself? Is
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 3: there a conversation I can have they will make me
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: feel better? Like what do we do? And something I
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: said earlier was I'm I'm blaming the boyfriend for not
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: taking this is Oh, that's not what you said before. Yeah,
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 3: that's weird now now all of a sudden changing it
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: was weird earlier. He was like, Jick, is what I
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: said earlier?
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he went on and on about something like seventy
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: percent of wages like it was weird.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: It was.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: It was really weird. I said, if your dick ain't
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: ripping by the end of that conversation, you did it wrong.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: Away from her husband, I said it was. I said,
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: I thought it was the boyfriend's fault. Uh, not not everything,
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: but like at some point after after somebody does all this,
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: after somebody says all this to you, it becomes kind
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 2: of a shit or get off the pot type of scenario.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 3: Okay, so what would you do? Oh, I ignore it
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: completely and like make it I make it go away, Okay,
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: make it go I don't like because all the all
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 3: the instances I'm thinking of were done like in person or.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 5: Something like that, and the like the writer's instance, like
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 5: if you're that boyfriend, what is the quote right.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: Response, I'm just done. I'm done.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: I'm done interacting. You're not gonna feed the troll. I'm
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: just not giving anything to tell them. I mean, I'm
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be straight up with it. I'm just gonna say, like, hey,
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: you know all of this in the past, whatever our past.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know what to do with that right now.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: So I'm just gonna take a step back from all this.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 3: I got. I got no hard feelings after the next
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: marital fight. That's it. Like I don't have any herd.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: Like if we run into each other later on, we
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 3: run into each other later.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 5: On, but no, you left the door.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: If I see what the same swingers club, fine, clearly
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: that's different.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 6: I think that's the answer, though, is you don't It's
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 6: on like him to just be like, hey, I'm in
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 6: a relationship right now right yeah, Like sorry, okay, you know,
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 6: and until until that relationships over. I mean, if your
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 6: relationship in That's what I think too. I was like,
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 6: I've always been like, if you want to be with
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 6: somebody else, go be with somebody else.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 3: Right, yeah, not an you can't play relationship defense.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah go get that means you want to be with
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 6: somebody else.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: That means we're done, okay, yeah, so just make your choice. Yeah.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: So I like this mentality actually that you're talking about
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: because I've over the years, well no, over the end.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: It really helps me be great early. But like, no
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: doing marriage counseling or relationship counseling. When somebody is having
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: a lot of anxiety about their partner and they're worried
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: about where things stand, actually kind of having a devil
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: make care attitude is really healthy to try to remind them, like,
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: you can't defend this. There's eight billion humans on the planet.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: If your partner doesn't want to be with you, there's
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: no amount of like anxiety or worry or proactive measures
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 3: or boundary setting or guarding their accounts or getting out
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 3: there posting all the pictures on the socials, tosk everybody
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: else way, it's insecure. It's a bad look. If they
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 3: don't want to be with you, it's not going to
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: work out. And so talk to them sincerely and come
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: to them directly and say where do we stand? Do
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: you want this? I can't believe I didn't think of
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 3: this earlier. I got it. Okay, I've got the actual answer. Yeah,
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 3: we can just be we can just be done. Good. Uh,
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: you need writer to arrange a threesome. Oh, with you
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: and the X and your and your current boyfriend. Okay,
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 3: and in that threesome, yes, you need to fuck the
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 3: ship out of your boyfriend. Okay, okay, and you show
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 3: your boyfriend this is what you've got.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: But while you're doing it, you're like aggressively fucking your
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: boyfriend looking at Yeah.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. It's the Pepsi challenge, the Pepsi bring to
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 3: the table.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 3: That's a power move. That's a very big power move.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 3: Do you think you could beat this? Yeah? If you
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 3: think you could do the jackhammer better than me? Yeah,
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 3: reverse cow girl all the fun No, no, no will.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 2: It's the same as back in the day. You'd have
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: like you'd have like Terry and lanister have to fight
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 2: for their honor. That's right, That's that's the trial. It's
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 2: how the gods trial by combat. It's trial by the
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 2: same as trial by combat. No, this is that works
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: out well for the guys.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 3: This is like, that was good.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: Let me try this one again. So I want all
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: the women listeners to know everybody wins scenarios. I want
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: all the female listeners of the show to know that
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: s J and Whitney are making exactly the same face
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: you are, and we don't give a.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 3: Fuck, all right, because we have majority rule on the show. Incoherence,
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 3: I think we all agree that's a great theory show.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 3: He has the equipment. If there is no.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 5: He put a roof of her heads.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 6: Literally, I mean, yeah, if you're gonna go be with
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 6: somebody else, go be with somebody else, right, yeah, yeah,
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 6: So I.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 3: Like that only nine months Yeah, I like that philosophy,
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 3: and I think that writer for all the jokes like there,
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 3: there's a reassurance to this, which is boyfriend has not
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: made any moves toward the X. Joelene is not getting in.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 3: We agree with your weird insecurity anxiety of like shit,
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: I don't like that Joelene's out there and that she's
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 3: removing the Blocksten to be in a bit about it,
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 3: kind of being a bitch about it, But like I
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 3: like your philosophy where you said, look, at the end
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 3: of the day, I can boyfriend has been clear with me.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: He's told me I'm not into Joelene. I don't want
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 3: her back. He's been clear with Joelene. We're done. We
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 3: broke up for a reason. And like you said in
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 3: your letter, if he wanted to be with Jolene, he
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 3: could be with Jolene. He's choosing not to, and so
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: I have to rest in that section. Yeah, she's she's
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 3: an option. She's made herself available.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 6: So I look, if he goes and hooks up with Joelene,
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 6: then you're breaking up.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah. You don't have to have control over the.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 3: Person unless you initiate the threesome responsibly.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I do think that you can say to your boyfriend, hey,
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 3: this is driving me a little crazy.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: See, Okay, so that's a fine conversation. Yes, And the
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: reason why I think that that's okay is because he's
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: in the relationship.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: I think the thing that you can't do is you
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: can't complain to boyfriend about somebody else's behavior. That's right,
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: because then what is he gonna do about it? I
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: think what you do is you just you can work
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: on your relationship. If something that she does or something
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: that he does bothers the writer, then the writer can
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: say like, hey, you know when she messaged you and
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: you replied with this, that bothered me. So we're focused
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: focusing on boyfriend's behavior, not Juliane's behavior, because neither of
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: you can do anything about Julian's behavior and also only
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: control of your own. Give give boyfriend the earbuds for
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: this for a second. I'll give you a second to
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: go ahead and just hand over the ear buds. There
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: you go, Okay, thank you.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 3: Hey boyfriend, Hey boyfriend, what are you doing? Yeah? Just
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 3: why why are you trying to hang out with this person?
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 3: You don't need a person out of hanging out with
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 3: this person on a on a friendly basis. Just just
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 3: stop it. Yeah, and you know what, boyfriend, leave the
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 3: buds in. This is Jim aggressively initiate the walk off
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 3: rules threesome.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: It's you have to boyfriend. Can't initiate this. Oh no,
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: girlfriend to initiate the three.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 3: Okay, let's talk about how we do that experience. We're
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 3: gonna talk about how to manipulate this. This is gonna
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 3: be on patreon dot com slash therapy. Do not listen
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 3: to whatever Jim's about. I'm about to help you, Bud. Okay,
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 3: this relationship is not gonna work out anyway. Get the memory.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 3: Get the double you. Man, best goddamn therapy show in
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: the world by his day. Well, I think that we
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 3: gave all the advice that we could possibly give. A
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 3: quick break, yeah, double you, I mean just our fire
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: in this fuck an hour. Yeah, yes, if you were like, man,
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 3: I really want to share this show with a friend,
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 3: but I never know what episode to do it. It's
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 3: this one. It's this one. This is the one that
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 3: give you a friend, Like listen to my professional therapist
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 3: podcast threads. We're gonna take a quick bak when we
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 3: come back. We're wrapping up the show probably forever you're
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 3: listening to pod therapy.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: Today's episode has brought to you by s Mittie Skew
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: and Mason Miller, Test Miller Biler, Paris Team Monaco, Osra
• 1:10:27
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• 1:10:30
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  Speaker 1: dot com slash.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 3: All right, so where we last left trivia, Nick is
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 3: t kick an ass okay, and still somehow tied. Nick
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 3: and Whitney your tie? All right?
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: I believe women say Whitney, you haven't gone first.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 5: I was just gonna say you haven't gone first yet,
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 5: but go on.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 3: We went first first, and then Jacob went first. Whitney.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 3: Oh that's good, I agree with that.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, all right, Well she should get seventy five
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: percent of there it is seventy five. Spend the airtime too,
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 2: seventy don't give her the five Jesus, what are you doing?
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 3: We can't afford that.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: The year two thousand, Sony PlayStation two, the PS two
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: was the console to get in two thousand. What was
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: the US launch price?
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 5: One hundred and twenty nine dollars? Okay, just going off
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 5: my gut, yeah me.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 3: So well up until point yes, yes goes to Jacob,
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 3: it goes to me. I'll say one hundred and forty
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 3: dollars one hundred. I feel like it was two hundred.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 3: I'm two hundred thousand. I'm going to go to I
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 3: think You're probably right, Nick, I wanted like one ninety
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 3: nine year ass, but that only hurts me, it does.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 3: I think you should do that two hundred and one,
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 3: the Dick move, because I feel like he's got it,
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 3: and so I'm hoping to get some bounce on taxes
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 3: or something.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's two hundred and ninety nine dollars.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 5: Thousand.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: My brother got one of those. How the fuck did
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 3: how did my brother get? Wow?
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: I was at college. My little brother definitely had a
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: PlayStation too. Now I'm just a fused thousand.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 3: I remember gas was like a dollar fifty back then.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: Launch era scalpers were selling them roughly nine hundred dollars day.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 3: Wow, two thousand. PlayStation has always done a really good
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 3: job of like controlling their supply and building pipe and
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 3: then just selling them at an enormous price. Fine, they
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 3: still do.
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: That, Okay, two thousand and five, I'll go first on
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: this one. Two thousand and five Xbox three sixty Premium
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: Oh system, I know there's a premium system. Yeah, now
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: we're getting out of but we know at launch there
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: were two models for the standard hard drive Xbox three sixty,
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: later called the Premium Pro model. What was the initial
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: US retail price? Okay, so if the last one was
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: three hundred dollars, this has.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 5: Got to bed.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he totally. What year is it? Five?
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna say I'm gonna say four ninety nine.
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, No, that's too hot? Are your kidding? I
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 3: saw stick with it. You're gonna go five hundred.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna go five hundred.
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 3: I actually don't think you're that far off, because I
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 3: remember it was so expensive that I didn't want to
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 3: get it, because they they they did two models, because
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 3: the real model was so fucking expensive that they created
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 3: like a Lean model that had no memory, gotcha, and
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 3: it was the fucking worst. Like you almost couldn't even
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 3: save your own games, it was so terrible. And so
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 3: I remember that because everybody bought the Lean model and
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 3: then none of us could fuck use it. And so like,
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 3: I remember that because I think I did buy a
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 3: Lean Model. I'll bet you it's five hundred. I'm gonna
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 3: come a little under that, and I'll say I'll just
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 3: go four hundred. I'll just go go under two.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 5: Four hundred and one, bitch, five hundred one.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 3: Oh wow, we're just getting fucked all right, Jim got
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 3: it again three ninety nine. Ooh, dummy, the cheaper but
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 3: you were right. No, no, Whitney got it though. Oh yeah,
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 3: because you said four hundred. Jim said four hundred, and
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 3: you said what four hundred and one? So I got it.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 3: I got it? Yeah, and then everyone yeah, okay, but
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 3: I'm spiritually closest, so spiritually spiritually you can have that
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 3: spiritual matter. Excellent spiritual jokes on you, buddy. I'm saving
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 3: my treasures in heaven. There was a cheaper core model. Okay,
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 3: that's the same as same as the uh got that
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 3: shitty one I did?
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, peak shortage. It was selling for one thousand.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 3: Dollars damned nikes. Yeah no, that's always a big price item.
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 3: All right, So I think I'm winning. As we wrap
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 3: up the show, we want to remind you can sign
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 3: up at patreon dot com slash there, but you can
• 1:14:41
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• 1:14:44
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• 1:14:46
  Speaker 3: weekly sporadic deep dives, interviews, skill shares, research roundups. And
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 3: it's been eight years, motherfuckers. We can't be doing fresh Goddamn,
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 3: We're giving away grad school. At this point, we've been
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: doing this second show more content than we were in classes,
• 1:15:02
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  Speaker 3: dot com slash there. But your support makes our show work,
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 3: and this episode is the one that we're doing two
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 3: in the future. So as of this episode, I don't
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 3: know how to organize it. So this is this is
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 3: the one.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 2: I figured you're just going to post this one first. Okay,
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 2: let me just go on this one first. Okay, yes,
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: so is this the one where I'm reading the list?
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 3: Now, let's do that next week, got it. That's why
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 3: I was giving that option.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 2: Yep, all right, So I guess I'm not thanking anybody
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 2: new because as of this recording, we don't know.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: No, we do have one new person. Uh, thank you,
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: Justine Hartle yy heart Justine Hertel, nice artel new therapath.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 3: Thank you for joining. Welcome to the show. Welcome to
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 3: the show.
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 2: If you're the Justine that I already know, welcomed, i'd
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 2: hear from you, you're probably not. Just in case I
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 2: can only think of one Justine, there's only one. I
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 2: think there's only one. We'd also like to thank the benevolent,
• 1:15:59
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• 1:16:02
  Speaker 2: all so much they give till it hurt.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 3: That Justine, she definitely wanted to date men on the
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 3: line we wanted to date me. Definitely not happy about it.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 3: Thanking God that Hey that is. We'll bring her back.
• 1:16:16
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• 1:16:20
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• 1:16:24
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• 1:16:27
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• 1:16:32
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  Speaker 3: Well that's all the time we got for this week session.
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• 1:17:57
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• 1:18:05
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