Latest / Chirping Zebras / TONY V | Chirping Zebras Podcast | Ep #123
Transcript
- Mark Riley: Welcome everyone to Chirping Zebras. Mark Riley, virtually alongside Gino Obinda. And we want to thank you for joining us. And before we get into anything, want to thank our sponsor, the referees, Creese, your one-stop shop for all your referee needs from training and development and payment and scheduling. They do it all. So check them out. Referees, Crease. Also want to remind you to find us on the social medias. make sure you find us on the Instagram, the Facebook, and of course. Geno Binda: TikTok. Mark Riley: Thank you, Gino. And also like and subscribe. Hit that subscribe button. like and subscribe on YouTube and check us out online, Mark at chirpingzeebras.com. I almost gave my website. I'm so used to doing my thing, saying markrileycomedy.com. You can check that out too if you want. and also give a shout out to AOA Studios and want to thank you for joining us here. this was a great episode. La we're on kind of a heater. John Buttigrass last week, y you know, can't say enough about him. He's just incredible. and and this week no different. We had a returning guest. Geno Binda: No. Yeah. I just hope the recording doesn't get fucked up. Mark Riley: Well, it was it was a little it it was a little touch and go there because our our our guest Tony V, not the best with technology. He self admits that. But but yeah, you know, he was on episode twenty two, a hundred and one episodes ago when we had John Carter on live at Wicked Funny Comedy Club up at China Blossom. And and and now he joins us a hundred and one episodes later. And, you know, got to talk about some really cool stuff, him at Fenway Park and the chirp box that we've been doing. where we, you know, we go and and heckle golfers while they try to tee off. what him and I are heading down to Hilton had to do that again. We did it last week at a golf tournament. So so yeah, a lot of fun, a lot of laughs. I mean, you know. Geno Binda: Yeah, he's funny, man. Mark Riley: One of the best. One of the best. So we're gonna jump right into it. We're gonna we're gonna let this rip. and I think you're gonna enjoy our conversation with the one and only comedian and actor Tony V. Tony V, welcome to the Chirping Zebras. Welcome back to the Chirp Chirping Zebras. tony: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with you guys. I've never been invited back anywhere twice. Mark Riley: It it only Geno Binda: Ha ha. Mark Riley: it only took a hundred and one episodes to have you back. You were on episode twenty two. We're at one twenty three. tony: Are you kidding me? And you're we're a hundred down the road? Mark Riley: Yeah Yeah tony: Yeah, people must have been clamoring to hear what I had to say. Mark Riley: They they've been asking we've had email tony: You know, we get I got a little Mark Riley: upon email. tony: I get a little bit of p pushback from that one. You know, last time I was on I was talking about my Mat not story and getting thrown out because Mark Riley: Yes. Geno Binda: Well, that's right. tony: of hot and people go I was getting tech going, Who is this guy? I don't remember him. It was because I left. You know? Well I just talked to what I I just talked to a guy who buddy of mine from way back when Who was a defenseman on that same team and he remembered it exactly the way I did. So so everyone else go fuck yourself. Mark Riley: Well You might you might Geno Binda: That's how you really feel. Mark Riley: you you might have to retell the story for those who didn't see the first time. tony: No, they didn't go fighting in episode twenty three. I'm not going back to a hundred and twenty Geno Binda: Yeah, I like it. Yeah. tony: episodes. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's it's really it's it's gone viral. Mark Riley: U i w if I'm not mistaken. tony: It had it had the million hits. I don't know what it had, who knows? Mark Riley: No, it did. It did. It it w it did go tony: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mark Riley: viral. That story was out there, had thousands of views, so they can find it online tony: Yeah. Mark Riley: if they want to hear it. tony: Good story. I'd stick to it. Mark Riley: Love it. Geno Binda: Absolutely. Go let the fast get in the way a good story, my old man says, right? tony: No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. so so, you know, Mark Riley: So tony: we can pick it up from there, I guess. You know, I still don't play hockey. The knees are shot. But you know, I was a I was a pretty fair goalie in my time. Geno Binda: I love goalies. My daughter's Mark Riley: Well you you Geno Binda: a goalie. Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: Your daughters are goalie? Geno Binda: yeah. Yep. She's eleven years old. Been playing what, going into her what, tony: That's pretty Geno Binda: fifty or now? Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah, she does all right. Yeah. Just fun with it. tony: Yeah. You know, at one point at one point in our life my son would they were grooming my son to be a a lacrosse goalie, you know, because he he was a big kid, Geno Binda: Mm-hmm. tony: you know, and he and then it it didn't work out is what I'm saying. And you know, he used to go on the goalie and I go, look In order to call yourself a goalie, you would have had to have stopped at least one shot. And and and in my recollection, Mark Riley: Yeah. Geno Binda: Crush, you know we have equipment. tony: goalie should never have his back to the play. Those those are just two criteria for being a goalie. Mark Riley: Never. tony: Never, never have your back to the play and at least have stopped one shot. Yes. Bare minimum. Mark Riley: That's solid advice for a goalie. tony: There you go. I see we just Geno Binda: Get in front of it. tony: people just learn something Mark Riley: How come tony: right now. Geno Binda: There you go. Mark Riley: to know why they always want the big kid to play goalie in lacrosse. tony: I did you know, 'cause you're supposed to take up much Geno Binda: Lot of running in Lacroft. tony: a lot of room. Yeah, yeah. I always often wondered why they didn't just get Mark Riley: Yeah, I think I think tony: you know Ev even Hockey, I d I just always wondered why they didn't, you know, sign like a like a six hundred pound guy. To just plug up the net. Geno Binda: Yeah. tony: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know like Mark Riley: I just thought of that the walrus. tony: if you Yeah, like if you had a job with a hunt Geno Binda: Ridiculous. tony: looking dude. Yeah. You just stuff in the net. Or I you know, or or is there ever a put you know, a time when you could, Geno Binda: Goldberg. tony: you know, just you know, say you're up two goals, you know what I mean? What if everybody played goalie? You know, you just you take five of the six guys. Yeah, you take Geno Binda: That puck hurts. That puck hurts. Mark Riley: Does that once? tony: five or six guys, you stick the real goalie in the middle, and then four people around and there's nowhere to get the puck in the net. Geno Binda: I would shoot right for the stomach 'cause there's no padding. Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: I'm not saying it wasn't risky, but you leave one guy out to deflect pucks and whatever Geno Binda: Ha ha ha. tony: and they you know, they cause some mayhem. Mark Riley: Ritzky. Geno Binda: I like my teeth. Mark Riley: Thro what about throwing a sumo wrestler in there? That might be an idea. tony: Shu this isn't now you're getting the point. Yes. He could wear his little diaper if he wanted to too. Just to to distract people. Mark Riley: It's all he'd need. He wouldn't even need any pads. tony: No, you wouldn't need anything. Maybe a glove. Yeah. But I guess if he went down his you know, his ass would Mark Riley: Maybe a mask, a helmet. tony: get cold. Yeah. His ass would get cold because you know, they don't have much in the back there. Geno Binda: Stick to the ice. tony: It's like a Yeah, it's like a it's like a thong at the beach. Mark Riley: Is it? Too much dumpling as you would say. tony: Too much dumpling. A lot of dumpling hanging out. Mark Riley: One of my favorite bits. tony: I don't believe I've ever seen my mother's ass. Mark Riley: Every seriously. I every time I'm at the beach and I look at someone with a kid and I'm like, I think of you. Cause I'm like, that that kid's growing up seeing his mom's ass. It's like, you know, I can I can say I never saw my mom's ass. You know? tony: Right. Right. They and I I cannot mind me the whole generation of kids who can never make that statement again. Mark Riley: Never. tony: Yeah. You ever seen your mother's ass? yeah. Nice dumper on the old lady. Mark Riley: So you I gotta say you're one and I mean we work together all the time and but you're like you're tony: Yeah. Mark Riley: one of those guys that certain bits that you do I think of all the time. Like you know, like tony: Yeah. Mark Riley: that one for instance, when I see a woman at the beach with a kid, and I just I just dumpling sticks tony: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mark Riley: in my head. tony: Well it's such a it's such a childish thing for Geno Binda: Speak speaking of working tony: a grown man to say Mark Riley: Where are we really tony: Mm. Mark Riley: any more than thirteen? I mean, let's be honest. tony: No, never. No. No. Nope. Nope, not at all. Mark Riley: Gino, you're gonna bring up the night we saw Tony at Fenway. you're muted, tony: Mm-hmm. Mark Riley: Geno. You muted yourself. Touching your microphone. Geno Binda: There we go. I saw the red light. What Mark Riley: There we go. He's back. Geno Binda: the fuck? All right, I'm back, baby. tony: There you go. Geno Binda: I'm fucking back. No, huge fan of Bill nah huge fan of Bill Burr. And, you know, we were we were talking back and forth, me and Mark, and he goes, Hey, my buddy Tony V is opening for him. And then all of a sudden, he had two extra tickets. So you know, Mark Mark likes to arrive to things right on time. So, you know, me and my wife were standing out there for about an hour and a half waiting for him to show up and I was pissed 'cause you you're about to go on. You know. So like he he comes in, we we filter in and you fuck it. tony: Well, I mean that's usually what happens when you're the opening. Mark Riley: Yeah. Geno Binda: Yeah. Yeah, your friend your friend show up for the main main course, right? Hey, you were great, you were fuck you crushed it. tony: Yeah, right. Exact. No, it was it was I you know, I just went to I went to the baseball game last night with some friends and you know, I was sitting there going, you know, I'm the only one in this park right this second who can say I worked here. besides the baseball players and the organization. You know? And it it's it it's it's really unique and I am forever indebted to Bill Burr for doing that for me, you know. Geno Binda: I mean that's I mean that's incredible. I mean Boston Fenway, you know, comedian. tony: And and I know that for Yeah. it was it was just great. And I remembered at one at one point just you know, you couldn't take in the whole thing. You know, be b it's just massive. So when you up on stage all you can you know, you can see like the first the first like twenty or twenty five, thirty rows maybe. And that's all you could see. Your periphery is sort of nod thing. And I think you've had our buddy Kevin Chapman on the show. Mark Riley: Yes. tony: Yeah, you have, right? And his was the only he's got a huge melon. He's got a giant head. And it was it was one of the Mark Riley: Does. tony: only faces I could make out in the crowd. And so I sort of played to him and if he was Geno Binda: Awesome. tony: laughing, I assumed I was doing well, you know. And and and then the first couple of minutes it I go like, that's just a big room. You know it's just the it's just the big comedy club. Geno Binda: Yeah, right. tony: And you know, and it sort of worked out there. Mm. I also remember something happened that coincided with like a bit across the field. Now we're in left center, you know? yeah, sort of left center field Geno Binda: Yep. Yeah, yeah. tony: where the stage is. And all the way across on the you know, Geno Binda: Yeah. tony: by the pesky pole on the right hand side, up like two levels, something happened. A light went off or something like that. And a chair came up from section one five, but it happened to coincide with one of my bits. You know, like I a bit ended and I heard this huge yeah like that. I go, Wow, I'm killing in one five. And it and I don't think Geno Binda: Ha ha ha. tony: I I don't think it had anything to do with anything I said. Apparently we found out afterwards there was a light shining in their faces and it finally went off. But then I started I started fucking with one five and and at one point during my set I just went, I I I I the the ball's on you, Ed Ripping, Ed Penway Park. But you know, that's the thing that turned it into something unique. Yeah, it was a it was a great experience. Geno Binda: it's so cool. Mark Riley: Yeah, I rem I remember you doing that. tony: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I just I I Mark Riley: Yeah. No, that's it was hilarious. And and I mean you can actually say you're the first comedian to ever work Fenway Park because you went on first. tony: Yeah. Yeah, I mean technically technically speaking, but I would you know, th the and this has been me my whole my whole career and stuff. I don't wanna take credit for somebody else's you know, accomplishment. I did not fill Pen Fenway Park. If it was advertised that Tony V was doing Geno Binda: Yeah. Mark Riley: Right. tony: Fenway Park You know, there would have there would have been, I don't know, seventy five people, that's about my average. And that would've looked silly. Mark Riley: Section one hundred five would have been tony: That's the only ones who Geno Binda: Yeah. tony: showed up. Mark Riley: Yeah. One five. Those are your people. Geno Binda: Riley would have been late. tony: that's pretty one five, yeah. Mark Riley: That's awesome. Well, I I love I mean, tony: Yeah. Mark Riley: one of the things I love after I bring you up when I'm you know, i i you you saying I usually play it only the stadiums tony: I I only play stadiums now. But I had a couple of holes in Mark Riley: But I had this opening. Yeah. tony: my schedule. Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: It's a it's a weird business, man. Mark Riley: So you're you're at the VFW. tony: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It it's it's it's such a weird business that, you know, you get the opportunity to do some amazing things. But your generally your life is, you know, getting in the car and driving an hour and a half or an hour and forty five minutes to a you know, to a Sons of Italy hall in in in you know, in Vermont and New Hampshire. Which is which is fine. Everyone Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: needs to be entertained. Geno Binda: A lot of people But yeah, but that's what people don't tony: Yeah. Geno Binda: do anymore, right? People don't get in the fucking car and grind and go do it and chase it to get that reward or play a Fenway. You know, no one does that grind anymore. Like people just want it. Like I just got off the phone with this kid. tony: No, no. They get on the they get on the TikTok and they become famous. Yeah. Geno Binda: I just got I just got off the phone with this kid who just kicked two games back for Friday saying he's going away, just got dropped on him. And then he said in the same breath, I made a lot of money last week. And I kid, so you made your fucking money. See ya later. Fuck me, right? I go, you know, it's just tony: Right, right. Geno Binda: like, what the hell's going on? Nobody nobody cares. tony: Yeah, they no, they don't people don't understand the the you know the the worth of the grind that you know I last weekend I drove up to I drove up to I don't know, Lincoln, New Hampshire, which is you know, two hours from Boston. And I'm driving up there and once you get past like about ten miles outside of Concord in New Hampshire on ninety three. There is a fuckload of Geno Binda: Nothing. tony: nothin'. You know and Yeah, Geno Binda: Lake region, baby. tony: yeah, and you're just driving and you're going, All right, there's a mountain. All right, there's another mountain. look at that, they got more mountains. And they you know, for a while it's it's very pretty 'cause it's not like around here, but then you go, All right, with the mountains already. You know. Geno Binda: The c The Kangamangus baby. tony: I was up the cangamangus, yeah. And and you know, I remember the cangamangus from when I was a kid, we'd go up there 'cause nobody was up there and you could you could drink and ride motorcycles and do drugs and no one would bother you. Yeah, now you would get bothered all the time. Mark Riley: They They they frown upon that. tony: They yeah, there's people up there. It's like civilization now. Terrible. Geno Binda: Well live free or die. tony: but you know, but they they had a performing arts and they and it was fine. You know, it the show was good, it was a lot of fun and and you know, and and you know, then the next night I was, you know, somewhere else. look, hey Mark, you know, we know next week or or whenever they say, you know, at some point, we're being flown down to Hilton Head to heckle at a golf tournament. Mark Riley: Yes. Yes. Next week. It's actually next week. Is this this you know yeah, we're t we're dropping it this week. Next week we're heading down to Hilton Head. tony: Next week. Yeah. Whenever they you're listening to it. It was either this week it Yeah. Yeah. And you know we we don't think about it. Mark Riley: Yeah. The Geno Binda: Chirp box on the road. Mark Riley: chirp box on the road. tony: Yeah, yeah. We you know, because we did it a couple w you know, last week and w the people seemed to enjoy it, except for the guy who threatened to bash her head in. But he was a little cranky. Mark Riley: Yeah, he was pissed. tony: He was mad. He was gonna Yeah. Geno Binda: always one one dickhead. Nobody get no one's in on the joke. Get a sense of humor, pal. tony: Yeah, yeah. It's funny how like most people Mark Riley: Yeah, that they that guy. tony: get it. But he was not and he and he held on to it till till dinner. You know, relax, buddy, it's over. Mark Riley: Yeah, yeah. tony: Yeah, that's a that's a that cacti should be kept Mark Riley: 2 g tony: away from guns. Geno Binda: that's awesome. Mark Riley: He said he said he was not happy. He was not this this guy, you know, he tony: No. Mark Riley: had his hat on backwards. So I asked him how old he was, and he said 40. And I simply said, after the age of like 30, if you wear your hat backwards, you're a douche. You know. Well, I know. And when and when you do, tony: Yeah, those, yeah? Geno Binda: I wear my hat backwards all the time. I'm a I'm a big douche. I'm a big douche. Especially in my Wrangler, like just cruising. Mark Riley: I call you a douche. I like that that's just what we do, right? Geno Binda: Yeah. huge douche. Yeah. Mark Riley: This guy wanted to throw me in the lake. Not happy. tony: Not No. No and and then you know Geno Binda: I mean, you said some shit at the one at Granite Lynx that was Mark Riley: No. Geno Binda: pretty good. tony: That w yeah, that was a good one too. But you know, Mark, you and I, you know, both have had this happen to us at various times where someone has threatened us like it was gonna be inevitable that they would have won. You know, like I had somebody I had somebody that we both know threaten me and you know, I j I just didn't get upset or anything. I just looked at and I go, you know, it might not be as easy as you think. Mark Riley: Yeah. Right? Geno Binda: Goalie. tony: Yeah. Yeah, I'm gold, that's right. It's not like I haven't taken a puck off a temple a couple of times in my life. Mark Riley: That was the guy at that golf tournament. I he kept saying, I'm gonna drag you to the parking lot. I'm gonna drag and I finally said to him, Why do you it's like why do you think tony: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right. He's gonna drag it to the park and Mark Riley: that's gonna be easy? I I don't I don't get it. Geno Binda: Does he not know you did did a couple of cycle of the roids? He hasn't seen you with tony: Yeah. Mark Riley: That was back in the day. Geno Binda: a shirt off. Mark Riley: Clearly not. Clearly not. Yeah, no, the the chirp box. tony: You know, I can re I can remember I can remember one time Yeah, goes well. Cause trouble, that's good, that's what we do. You know, I remember one time, this is the best re reply I ever heard, to someone being threatened. And it was my son when he was very young. He was like eight eight or nine and he was having a beef with somebody on on the playground and you know, they would They were going back and forth at it a little bit and you know the kid's nanny, that'll tell you what you were dealing with, you know, goes, We're gonna we gotta go. You know, that's how she broke it up. And the kid looked at Gus and goes, I'll get you tomorrow. And Gus just looked at him and said, How you know I'm even gonna be here? And and then just the logic of that, like like, you know, th the the his wiring couldn't handle that. It's like wait, we no, Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: I'm supposed to get you tomorrow in my head and then they you could just you could just see steam shooting out of his ears. And that's all right. Geno Binda: Good one. Mark Riley: He blew the kid's transistor. The kid couldn't handle it. tony: He Yeah, yeah, he did too much. It was too much for him. He couldn't handle it. Yeah. Geno Binda: I mean, Ryles, I mean you guys, comedians, you don't have glass, right? Like we at least protected as referees and like people do come on the ice and we have been attacked, not us personally, but referees have. And comedians have been attacked. Like have you guys have you like come close to having someone come on stage or getting in your face or waiting for you guys after a show and like wanting to kill you like this bozo in the golf course? tony: I you know, it hasn't happened in the wild, but back in the day when we you Mark Riley: did we lose your tone? tony: know Mark Riley: there you are. tony: No, I'm here. back in the day I've I had a you know, I got threatened a couple of times on stage. I remember working one night at the at the a very prominent Chinese restaurant on Route One. Geno Binda: Mm-hmm. Mark Riley: Hmm. tony: And I was doing my setting I was working with Chris Zito, a buddy of ours. Mark Riley: yeah. Yeah. tony: And he came off stage and he you know I was in the back room or whatever and he goes, Hey there's a there's a couple down front, they're just you know, mouthy and they're sort of talking loud and talking at you and blah blah blah blah blah. So I go, Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. You know, but I had it in my head. And so you know, we do I I get up on stage. And miraculously for like twenty, twenty-five minutes of my set, they leave me alone. Like I I go, good. You know, they w they must have calmed down or got drunk or whatever it is they're gonna do. So I was doing a joke about something about being Italian and the the woman of the party and and they were way too dressed up for where we were. You know, it looked like they thought they were in Atlantic City or Vegas. You know, and and I said something about being Italian, blah blah blah blah blah and the woman just goes, Tell some Italian jokes you know, she just blurts it out. And I go, here we go, you know. And I go, Look lady, I'm not a jukebox. You just can't you know, you just you just can't yell stuff up and I g I got a joke about it. I'm almost done. Let's try to get through this with our dignity, both of us, right? So so I start my set again. Geno Binda: Well, great answer. tony: And so I start I start up again and and all of a sudden the quarters are being thrown up on the stage. People, you know, like prank, Mark Riley: No. tony: prank, yeah, and I go, What the fuck is this? you know. So I I go, What the hell's with the quarters? And the woman goes, Yeah, you said you were some kind of a jukebox or something. There's a quarter. Tell her an Italian joke. Geno Binda: Ha ha ha tony: And so I yeah, alright, this is gonna be good. And and then and then just just as I'm getting into it with the like a towny w young a younger towny woman s you know, Ja shut up you rich bitch. We like the guy. Let him finish. And the other woman stands up and she goes, yeah, what are you gonna do about it? And now we got a we got a girl fight going on in in the restaurant. And they're really scrapping. I'm still standing on stage Geno Binda: Ha ha. tony: and and the guy they're right in the front row and the g and the guy is just staring at me like I started it, you know? But the two women are g going Geno Binda: Yeah. tony: at it, but like the they're d they're throwing haymakers, man. And at one point, the woman wait dude went to reach for the the the the well dressed woman and pulled her top down, you know, in in the midst of this fight. Yeah, yeah. So she's she's completely hanging out to the to the you know the gasp of Geno Binda: I throwing the quarters back. tony: the crowd. Like everyone's going, even the woman fighting with her was like, okay, this is too far and was trying to help her get put back together. You know? And so finally and and the The the crowd is like watching it like is like this is part of the show, you know. And finally the I look down and the guy in the front row he's got a suit jacket on and he takes his hand and moves his lapel aside and he's packing. He's got he's got a gun. He's you know, he's he's had a shoulder holster and they had a gun and he's looking Geno Binda: He's got a gun! tony: at me, shaking his head. You know, and I go, Okay. Now I got options. You know, do I yell gun? Do I, you know, start a riot? Do I shut up, say nothing? I go, he's drunk, I'm not, Geno Binda: Mm-hmm. tony: I could kick him, whatever, you know, and and just as this is is is happening, the cop that's on duty downstairs comes up. Everything sort of gets sort sorted out, and they you know, and I say to the cop, you know, I pat my chest and I say, in cop goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so he knew what was going on. I said, you know, he's packing. And the guy goes and the cop shook his head. He guys, you know, known to him. And and then they're getting escorted out. Things are getting just calmed down and they're getting escorted out and they get just to the door. They're not out the door's open. It's they're not quite through it yet. And I just I step up to the mic and I go, so these two Italians walk into a bar. Geno Binda: Ha ha ha! tony: And the it wasn't a laugh, but the crowd made a noise that I've never heard before or since. They just went Baa Geno Binda: yeah. tony: and I I had good night everybody and I w Geno Binda: That's how my reaction was. That was fucking funny. tony: Timing. It's timing. You gotta tell the young people it's all about timing. Mark Riley: All about timing. Shit. That is outstanding. tony: And then and then the the follow Geno Binda: That's fucking genius. tony: up is the cop came back later and he goes, I'm gonna walk you to your car and I go, I'm not worried about it and the guy guy goes, No, you know, he's he's a wise guy wannabe and you know, we know who he is and stuff and just just let me walk you to your car. And I go, Yeah, all right, you know. You don't wan you don't wanna get Geno Binda: He just wanted a twenty spot. tony: Yeah, you don't wanna get you don't wanna get shot in the parking lot of a Chinese restaurant on Route One. Mark Riley: No. That's a that's a hard no. tony: That's a hard yeah, no, no. No. Mark Riley: What what's funny, Tony, you can speak to this. What what what blows my mind is, you know, I I mean I've I've been doing it twenty-eight years, you've been doing it a lot longer than me. and and I don't even tony: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well over forty. Mark Riley: know if you know your number. but people still think just because their friends tell them they're funny, they're gonna out like out funny us that do it for a living. tony: Comedian the comedian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what makes people Mark Riley: It and and and tony: think Mark Riley: It just blows my mind. tony: Yeah, yeah. Or, you know, I was thinking about I was really thinking about this this earlier today. When people do that, like in a a room, you go, What you what do you think's gonna happen? You know, w what what's the end goal to you, you know, trying to interrupt my act. You think you're gonna get discovered and they're gonna give you a T V show because Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: you're a you're at a Knights of Columbus and you made the comedian look bad? You know? I didn't I was doing the you know, I Mark Riley: It's true. tony: I still go out and do open mics, you know, if Mark Riley: It's true. tony: I got new stuff I wanna work on. And and very a lot of my contemporaries do not, but I do to you know, to see if I can make a young people laugh and do it. And but I was doing a show in South Beak a couple weeks ago and you know, I was trying out new stuff and I I was doing this I doing this bit which I I you know I I it's not completely fleshed out yet, but that you know, I don't eat red meat, you know, which for someone who looks like me wigs people out and they think I'm making a statement about them. And I go, you know, no, I just don't Geno Binda: Yeah. tony: i I don't like it. I have it in a while and it I don't I don't judge other people. And but people always make it like about me, like if we go to this restaurant, can you find something to eat? I go, yeah, they'll have chicken or fish and Geno Binda: Hmm. tony: a salad and fries, I'll be fine. We don't have to fucking discuss it every time we go out to eat because I don't want to get a steak, you know? I go, and and and the the bit basically is, you know, I believe that steak eaters are as bad as vegetarians who are really bad. Because they gotta tell you everything you're doing wrong. Mark Riley: Ha ha. tony: You know, in steak eaters I say you're a a bigger pain in the ass because it's gonna be, you know, exactly how you want it. It's gonna be pink in the middle, a little bit gray, and then a little crust on the outside. It can be well done but not super well done, medium rare, not rare. I like it a little red in the middle, and you can just go, You're a pain in the ass. You know, just you know, some and in I know Yeah, Chicago Mark Riley: Yeah. Geno Binda: I like it Chicago style blackened. tony: black and blue they call yeah, they get All kinds of things. And I go, you know, I go, people ask me, and they go, How's the chicken? It's done. That's all it it it's cooked. That's all I care about. I don't I I don't care what else happens to it. And so I said so that's the point. So I did this bit at the beginning, right? And then I'm I'm doing my the last bit, and I I'm talking about my daughter who is she she lives in New York City and she's assistant director at a very prestigious school in the she's assistant director for admissions. And she was visiting and you know, no matter how old your kids are, you miss when they go. You know? And I I literally said to my daughter, I go, All right, Miss New York City, go back to your high pressure job of being the assistant director at a very prestigious performing art school. You go right ahead. I'm making meatloaf tonight and you're gonna miss it. And you go. And I go, What's wrong with me? So so I do that bit and there's a young woman in the audience and she goes, I thought you didn't eat me. Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: I go I go, I made it with turkey and what's the difference? It's a joke. I've been lying to you for fifteen minutes. None of this is real. Mark Riley: It's awesome. tony: Yeah. Mark Riley: That's awesome. Geno Binda: Wait a minute. They didn't try to like tony: Ha ha ha. Geno Binda: call you out. Mark Riley: well I mean tony: Yeah, I don't know what they think they're gonna accomplish. Geno Binda: No, it's fucking funny. Mark Riley: Well, you kind of gave some insight into this, but people always ask me, you know, how do you write jokes or what's your process, right? and we're we're all different. You know, I pay attention, tony: Yeah. Mark Riley: I just experience shit and then try to make it funny, right? Other guys write and tony: Yeah. Mark Riley: write and write and you know, everyone's a little different. So what's your process look like? tony: My process is when something strikes me, you know what I mean, I can go through months, you know, where I'm work when I'm where I'm working the act that I'm working and n very little else is coming in. And then when I start getting bored with some of the stuff I've been doing for a while without tweaking it or do you know, that's when it usually kicks in and and I'll you know, I'll try to take something that you know I ex I experienced or or something that struck me as funny. We're at the we're at the b as I said the other night, we're at the ball game. I was at the baseball game and I got some chicken wings or whatever. And for some reason the the woman the woman at the the the the bar we ordered the food gave me like a a a a bunch of moist towelettes, you know, handy wipes. You know, because we were having chicken wings. And I just It just struck me in my head that the phrase moist towelette was one of the funniest things I had ever heard in my life. You know, it's just like and so for the whole rest of the game. Geno Binda: Moist. Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: I'm moi I think moist is is what's getting. But I I was just I was I just every time I'd see somebody I go, Can I interest you in a moist towelette? Are you in need Mark Riley: Poist. tony: of a moist towelette? You seem to be Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: one who could benefit from a moist towelet. Do you need a moist towelet? Mark Riley: Ha ha. tony: And I know at some point I know at some point that's gonna enter into my act. It's I it it's got to. I don't know how or where yet, but it's g it's got I gotta find a way to say Moist Cowellette on stage. Mark Riley: I I I hope I'm there when it comes out. It'll be even funnier to me. tony: Ha ha ha. Well it was like it was like you were trying to we don't have to explain the backstory, but you were doing something and we challenged you to get the word mahogany in there and you managed to do it. Mark Riley: Yes Yes. The poke the po poker group challenged me to get the word mahogany into a a certain thing I did and damned if I didn't. So tony: Yeah, yeah, right. Mark Riley: Stupid shit we do. Geno Binda: That's fucking funny. Mark Riley: It's so good. It's so good. Geno Binda: That's fucking awesome. What do you think? What do you think about the opening night Pats tonight? What do you think? They're gonna beat Seattle? tony: Yeah, you know i i I'm hearing too much about how i and this happened last year. I'm I'm I'm hearing too much about how good the defense is. You know? And that's gonna carry. Geno Binda: Patriots D or Seattle's D? tony: The well the Seattle D is always good. But the Pats D, you know, Geno Binda: Past the Yep. tony: and I we heard that all last year. That's the defense. The defense is gonna carry them. You know what? Fucking score points and then you don't have to worry. Geno Binda: with ya. No, they got a good I mean they signed some good wideouts in the off season. Let's see if they can produce. tony: Yeah. But I like their chances. Look, I think if it didn't stay Yeah. I think if it didn't i if it didn't snow last year, I think they had they would have had that game locked up. Mark Riley: Yeah, which game was that tone? tony: They had the Super Bowl. Mark Riley: the Super Bowl. yeah. tony: The Super Bowl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mark Riley: Now you're you're a huge Red Sox guy. and i i tony: Yes. Mark Riley: actually you love listening to it on the radio, as we know. what do you tony: Yeah, I yeah, I w rather Geno Binda: I like that too. tony: than sit and watch again, I love listening on the radio. Mark Riley: Yeah. So what what are your thoughts going in, you know, the last stretch here of the f season and going into the playoffs? tony: And and yeah, yeah. And I'd listen on a transistor radio. I won't listen listen any other way. I'm such an old man. You know, it's like it's crazy. Geno Binda: I loved it. tony: You know you know what I think the story? Mark Riley: They still have those? tony: yeah, I got one. I could show you, I could get it right now. you know what I think the story that everyone is it's they're not missing it. What I think goes goes without being said is what's his name? not Durant, who it's God I'm having a bright thought. They the kid they keep bringing up from Worcester. Mark Riley: They keep bringing up and sending them down. tony: Turn down, yes. Geno Binda: Yes. tony: And every time they what the what the hell Jesus. Somebody do some research. Mark Riley: I'm on it. Geno Binda: trying to figure it out too. It's like not so good. tony: Do you know who it is? Not Caleb Durbin, not it's Mark Riley: Not Derby, not Brian Bell not Bellow. tony: No, no, no, no, not a picture, no. I've Mark Riley: Not not McDonough. tony: been talking about all week too. Mark Riley: I know. tony: I we were talking about it on the poker thread mark. Mark Riley: I'm on the We I I that's what's driving me nuts. Gasper, tony: Is it Nick? Mark Riley: Mickey Gasper. Mickey, Mickey Gasper. Yeah. Geno Binda: Gasper, yeah. tony: Nicky Gasper, yes. Nicky, Mickey, Mickey Gasper, right. It's Mickey Gasper. They Yeah, Geno Binda: Mickey, Mickey home run, yeah. Mark Riley: Mickey, yes. tony: yeah. They keep sending him down. And then they figure out they need him again because something happens and he comes back and he hits a home run. And I was saying they should send him down every day. After every game, send them down Geno Binda: Yeah, good formula. tony: and then make take a bus from Worcester the next day. And and and then he'll he'll hit more home runs. Yeah. Mark Riley: It's it's it's not a bad thought. tony: No, 'cause the Geno Binda: Good formula. tony: you know, someone's gonna have to go down for the playoffs, correct? Someone's gonna they gotta they gotta trim that roster for the playoffs. Geno Binda: Do they trim it or do they get the I thought they got added added rostered spots? tony: I think g leading up to you get added on, but d you know, with everybody coming back, with Roman Anthony coming back, yeah, Geno Binda: But once the playoffs, it's a hard cutoff at like yeah, right. tony: it's a hard cutoff. And you got Roman Anthony coming back and you got Trevor Story and you got Isaiah Kinefalefer, you know, who I just well Geno Binda: Croch crochet might crochet might be back. tony: say, Yeah, he's g he'll he's gotta come back and then you know, so I mean it they're gonna have some hard decisions, but It's it's been it th they've been fun to watch and and it would believe me, early on it Geno Binda: The season. tony: was painful, but I wouldn't you can't quit on it. I l I love this this team. They're Geno Binda: No. tony: they're they're they're scrappy as all hell. Geno Binda: Then never out of it. Never tony: No. Geno Binda: out of it. tony: No, no, no. But, you know, the thing they gotta watch is, you know, they have a a tendency to get bases loaded and then not get people to score. And that's gotta you know, in the playoffs that's Geno Binda: They leave a lot of ro yeah. tony: that's a stencil. Yeah. Yeah. I got my wife running around the house every once in a while, she go, you know, they should be playing small ball. And she has no idea what she's saying. Mark Riley: Chit. tony: She she just heard me she just heard me say Geno Binda: I mean this thing does it. tony: it. Yeah. Mark Riley: She heard small ball. tony: She heard small ball and she anytime there there's something going on she you know they they need they need to play small ball. And although you're absolutely right, hunt. You know, also I think you know, again, Mark Riley: that's awesome. tony: here's the old guy and me coming out. I you know, I think they paid too much attention to analytics. I really do. You know, Mark Riley: Yes. tony: because it's a game of statistics. And you know, like last I I read the headline of yesterday's game and they go, you know, they're gonna go with a different lineup because there's a lefty pitcher and you know A a line up that's brought this far, but they're gonna toy with it. I go listen to what you just said. The lineup that brought you this far, why are you f with it? They brought you this far. Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: It's the it's the same in Hartney. You know, a team Mark Riley: It's so true. tony: a team will be up, you know, you know, four to two or three to one, and they'll go, okay, now they're gonna start playing a defensive game. They're gonna change things up. Why would you change things up? You're winning. You're winning three to one. Keep doing what you did to get there instead of changing it up. Geno Binda: Right? Look at look at the Germans in the World Cup. They changed it up, lost. tony: They yet because they changed it up. You don't change it up. Geno Binda: no, it was it gr Great Britain. Great Britain. Great Britain did that. Yeah. Great Britain did that. Yeah. Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: But he thinks those people Geno Binda: England did that, yeah. tony: have had a beef for some time. The Great Britons and the Germans. They never they Geno Binda: That's right, England did that. Mark Riley: Yeah. tony: they had some turf war earlier on. It's fine. They'll be alright. Mark Riley: It'll be all right. Don, I know I know you gotta run. tony: Yeah. Mark Riley: but Geno Binda: This is awesome. Thank you. Mark Riley: real I have one quick question though. I just wanna cause in tony: Got. Mark Riley: all the years I've known you, because you've done all kinds of stuff. You've been on Seinfeld, you were the gorilla in American tourist luggage. You I mean, you've done so much. tony: Yeah. Mark Riley: What was the one thing in your whole career that you kind of that one that one thing that you go, that was the co that was cool. tony: the series for Showtime I did Brotherhood. Mark Riley: Brotherhood, yes. Geno Binda: A good one. tony: Yeah, I did I did twenty one out of twenty nine episodes and got strangled at the end. And that was a good run. I I learned a lot doing that. Mark Riley: Yes, you did. tony: Yes I did. Which I've never seen and my wife won't let me watch. I don't know if you can post this, you Mark Riley: Really? tony: know, and I yeah. yeah, yeah, I've never seen it. I'm not gonna I'm not doing this to brag or anything, but I'm gonna show you. I got a residual check. Now this is from productions of movie called The Edge of Darkness that I did. One crazy summer, state in Maine, and The Town, which I did, okay. This is one sheet of all of that. Can you see how much it's for? Eleven dollars Mark Riley: It no. tony: and forty six cents. Those are all the Mark Riley: Let's move. tony: front Geno Binda: Roll it. Mark Riley: Jeez. tony: Seventy nine cents, fifty seven cents, thirteen cents, a dollar twenty one, sixteen cents, eight cents, four cents, two cents. Six four six hundred forty. That's a big one for the town. And eleven forty six for a grand total of nine dollars and seventy eight cents. I don't think you're dealing with children over here, my friend. Mark Riley: That's That's that's that sounds like the money we make on our videos on our on our reels, tony: Yeah, Mark Riley: actually. tony: yeah, yeah. Mark Riley: Killing it. tony: You think it's easy. Mark Riley: man. Well, Tony, thanks for coming on, man. This is awesome. tony: man, always a pleasure. You guys Geno Binda: That's why we got a drive to Vermont. tony: are great and I love doing it. Thank you. Mark Riley: Talk about packing a lot of entertainment into into man, his he can tell a story. Geno Binda: Yeah, he's pretty funny, man. I just wish the connection was better, but yeah, that was that was funny. Like that Mark Riley: Yeah, the connection a little little a little tough, but I mean, talk about a storyteller. Geno Binda: I mean that's a I mean the I mean his story about the quad thing, that's like a bit. Like that whole ding is a bit Mark Riley: Yep. And and it's cool to like his process is very similar to mine, you know, in that you go a little bit without anything new and you get to that point where you're like, All right, what what's going on? Why haven't I written, quote, written anything? And then all of a sudden three or four things happen. You get handed a moisten a moistened towelette and you're off and running, right? So Geno Binda: Towel went. Yeah, here you go. Mark Riley: very very cool to get some insight and brotherhood. Kevin Chapman, Freddie Cork, Geno Binda: Yeah. Mark Riley: and his 14 inch cock. He was on he was on with us as well. So Geno Binda: He was. Mark Riley: check that out. all right, that's gonna do. We we we're we're just in and out today. We're in and out. You know, the hockey season's Geno Binda: Yeah, we're crushing it. Yeah. That's it. Mark Riley: upon us. You got so much going on, you know. Geno Binda: Nobody wants to listen to the ending anyway. They fast forward it. Mark Riley: Nah, they may, they may not. We did give away a hat. with the code word. But a lot to talk about next. No, he did. yeah, no, no, no. I sent it out. yeah. Geno Binda: I still don't think that guy got his hat yet. I forgot it the other day. he did get it. Okay. All right, good. I forgot it at Foxboro. Mark Riley: yeah, no no no. I I sent that out and I actually I think I sent him a quarter zip too, as a as a a little Geno Binda: Nice. The boys at the Terry has enjoyed their their sweatshirts, so yeah. Mark Riley: good. Good, good. You can get those sweatshirts on trippingseavers.com, the lace hoodies. Geno Binda: You go. Mark Riley: We got plenty left. And also the quarter zips. Also, a lot to talk about next week is a lot of hockey this weekend. I'm reffing a bunch for you. We'll see how that goes. I'm sure I'll have a story of six. And we got the college colleges starting to come Geno Binda: yeah. Get some content. Mark Riley: up and we got all kinds of stuff. So next week will be a good one. so without Without yammering on anymore, want to thank you for joining us on this episode. Want to thank our sponsor, the referees, Creese. One stop shop for all your referee needs. Also remind you to like and subscribe on YouTube and find us on the social medias, the Instagram, the Facebook, and of course. Geno Binda: The TikTok. Mark Riley: Thank you, Geno. check us out, tripping zebras dot com. And and in we we appreciate you guys listening and watching and all your support. And for Geno Bender, I'm Mark Riley. We'll see you next time right here on the Chirping Zebras. Geno Binda: you