Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You Are a Remote Worker
Transcript
- Lucas: So let me start with a story about Sarah. She's a product manager at a fully remote fintech company — about three hundred employees, all scattered across time zones. She spent six months cold-emailing senior leaders asking for mentorship. Not one reply. Luna: Oof. That's brutal but honestly not surprising. Cold emailing is tough even in an office environment, but remote? You're competing with inboxes that already overflow. Lucas: Exactly. And the standard advice — 'just grab coffee with them' — is basically useless when you can't physically be in the same building. So Sarah pivoted. She started paying attention to the company's internal Slack channels, and she noticed that one of the VPs of Product did a monthly AMA in the #product channel. Luna: An Ask Me Anything. That's smart — it's an open forum where leaders are already volunteering their time. Lucas: Right. So instead of another cold email, Sarah prepared one very specific question about how the VP had handled a product launch that went sideways last year. She asked it during the AMA. The VP answered in detail. Sarah followed up with a quick thank-you and a thoughtful observation — not a request. That was the first crack. Luna: So the entry point was a micro-ask, not a full mentorship request. That's a key distinction. Lucas: It is. And from there, Sarah built a relationship over three months — all async. She'd share an article relevant to something the VP had said, or ask a follow-up question on a thread. Eventually the VP said, 'Hey, if you ever want to talk through a problem, I'm happy to hop on a quick call.' That's the moment mentorship actually started. Luna: And that's the pattern I see working for remote workers: start with public, low-stakes interactions, then gradually move to private, higher-investment ones. The Buffer 2025 State of Remote Work report found that 63% of remote workers feel less connected to mentors than their office-based peers. So the barrier is real, but it's not insurmountable. Lucas: That 63% number is striking. And I think the reason Sarah's approach worked is that she respected the VP's time and context. She didn't demand attention — she earned it through contributions. There's actually research from Harvard Business Review showing that what they call 'active sponsorship' — where a senior person actively advocates for you — is far more effective than passive mentorship, especially in remote settings. Luna: Sponsorship versus mentorship — can you unpack that a bit? Because listeners might think they're the same thing. Lucas: Sure. Mentorship is advice — 'here's what I'd do in your shoes.' Sponsorship is advocacy — 'I'm putting your name forward for this project or promotion.' In a remote environment, you really need both. But sponsorship is harder to get because it requires trust and visibility. Sarah's VP didn't sponsor her until after several months of consistent, low-friction interaction. Luna: So how do you build that trust without water-cooler moments? One thing I've seen work is using asynchronous video. A Loom-style recording where you walk through a problem you're working on and ask for specific feedback. It's personal, it's time-efficient, and it shows you've done your homework. Lucas: That's a great tactic. And it ties into something else: many remote workers overlook internal knowledge bases and recorded all-hands meetings. If your company uses Notion or Confluence, there's often a treasure trove of past presentations, strategy docs, even recorded Q&As. You can identify mentors by who asks the sharpest questions or who leads the most interesting projects. Luna: So you're saying you can reverse-engineer a mentor list by watching recordings? That's actually brilliant. You get a sense of their communication style, their priorities, their sense of humor — all without ever scheduling a call. Lucas: Exactly. And when you finally reach out, you can reference something specific: 'I saw in last quarter's all-hands that you're focused on reducing churn. I've been working on a retention experiment and would love your take.' That's infinitely better than 'I admire your work, can we chat?' Luna: Right. It signals that you've done the legwork. And that's especially important remotely because you don't have the social proof of being in the same room. Lucas: Let's talk about one more angle: cross-company mentorship. Not everyone finds a mentor inside their own organization. Platforms like MentorCruise or ADPList have made it easier to connect with experienced professionals outside your company. But the same principles apply — be specific, be respectful, and start with a low-commitment ask. Luna: I've seen people succeed on those platforms by offering something in return, too. Maybe you share a skill you have — like data analysis or presentation design — that the mentor might find useful. It becomes a reciprocal relationship from the start. Lucas: That's a really good point. Mentorship doesn't have to be one-directional. In fact, the best mentorships I've seen are genuinely two-way. The junior person brings fresh perspective, new tools, sometimes even industry insights the senior person has lost touch with. Luna: And that's even more true in remote settings, where you might be connecting with someone in a completely different industry or geography. You bring a diversity of thought that's hard to get in a traditional office. Lucas: So let's land this. For anyone listening who's remote and struggling to find a mentor: start with public channels — AMAs, Slack threads, all-hands Q&As. Ask one thoughtful question. Then follow up with a thank-you and a related insight. Gradually move to async sharing — articles, Loom videos, specific asks. Within a few months, you'll likely have built enough trust for a real mentorship conversation. Luna: And don't forget to look at those internal recordings. It's like scouting before you even make contact. I love that. Lucas: One more thing — this episode exists because listeners like you keep it going. We don't run ads on this show, and the way it stays free is that a small group of folks chip in through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. If you've found something useful in this episode — or any of the past 83 — that's what keeps us ad-free. Luna: Yeah, it really does make a difference. And we're grateful for every bit of support, whether it's a coffee or just sharing an episode with a friend. Lucas: So back to Sarah. Six months after that first AMA question, the VP recommended her for a stretch assignment leading a major product initiative. She got the role. And she told me later that the mentorship — which started with a single question — was the reason she had the confidence to apply. Luna: That's the power of a micro-ask. It opens a door you didn't even know was there. Lucas: Exactly. So for everyone working remotely: the mentor you need is probably already out there, just a thoughtful question away.