Latest / Planning & Beyond® - Where financial planning meets human understanding / 57. Crafting Relatable Conversations to Attract Ideal Clients with Derrick Kinney

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57. Crafting Relatable Conversations to Attract Ideal Clients with Derrick Kinney · Planning & Beyond® - Where financial planning meets human understanding

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: So the point is when you want to stand out, when you want someone to say, tell me more, and not close the door, you want to connect with an instantly relatable problem that the person has.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: So for example, when I was an advisor, we focused on people who were a couple of years from retirement or already retired.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so I call this my you know how framework.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you say to someone, hey, Ashley, you know how it infers to that person, they will know exactly what you're talking about.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: It just invites them psychologically to say, yeah.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: So they come into the conversation knowing they're going to know what you're talking about.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: So the key is to make it super simple, third grade level, least amount of awards wins.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: So my you know how phrase was often, hey Derek, what do you do?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know how so many people worry about running out of money in retirement?
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: We help them fix that.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Planning and Beyond, the show where financial planning meets human understanding.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: As an exceptional financial advisor, you know that financial planning is about more than just numbers.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's about giving clients the clarity they need to align their money with what matters most, which is why each episode is designed with that goal in mind.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: You'll learn how to uncover the psychology behind client decisions and gain insights and behavioral strategies needed to create deeper, more meaningful client relationships.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: You'll discover techniques for navigating emotional client situations drawn from conversations with leading industry experts in behavioral finance, psychology, communication, and more.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's mastering discovery meaning handling sensitive client conversations or understanding what is truly keeping your client stuck, you'll walk away with not only strategies that you can use in your next client meeting, but also the confidence to do so.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, hi.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I should probably introduce myself.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Ashley Kwamey, a therapist who somehow wandered into the world of financial behavior and kind of decided to stay.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: My mission is to help you bridge the gap between financial planning and human understanding.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because remember, finances don't have feelings, but your clients do.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Let's dive in.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Planning and Beyond, the podcast where financial planning meets human understanding.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Ashley Kwamey, and today I am joined by the one, the only, Devin Kennedy.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm giving you the Jason Kelsey introduction.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you're familiar with like the Kelsey Brothers, their podcast.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I forget the name of it.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I just call them the Kelsey Brothers, but I feel like that's the intro I'm giving you, Derek.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I could have beefed it up a little bit, but that's the vibe I'm giving right now.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, good.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's hey, look, it's good to have you here.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: For those of you who maybe are not familiar with Derek and his work, Derek is a best-selling author.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: He is a Forbes top advisor.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: He is also the founder of Success for Advisors, which is really kind of what we're going to be talking about today, success for advisors, but in a way that revolves around communication, because this is planning and beyond.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we talk about how to bridge that gap between financial expertise and human understanding.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, Derek, what's on the docket for our conversation today is something that you are really great at.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm excited to hear all of your wisdom and extract some nuggets here.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: But it's how can advisors talk about their work?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: How can they maybe even introduce themselves, whether it's in a prospecting meeting or if they're just about networking, if they're out and about?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like that question of, hey, what do you do for a living?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how can advisors talk about themselves and their work without sounding super, super salesy?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I want to get into today.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you are game for that, my friend.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds great.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: And by the way, Ashley, thanks for having me.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: You have amazing people on this podcast.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: And to be on the list and be on with you right now is a real honor.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you for that.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited about this conversation.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, I feel like I'm just, this is just a vessel to like make others like shine.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's what this podcast is.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so if I can make you shine, if I can help advisors in the same way, like then I feel like my work is done.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm a happy person.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: I am a happy person.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, Derek, let's get into a little bit, maybe just like this problem around selling yourself.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can we talk a little bit about maybe why financial advisors might struggle?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are some of the things that maybe you kind of start with when it comes to this problem around talking about yourself, talking about your work?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it so hard?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it is a problem.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it's interesting because as a young advisor, I used to cringe when people would ask me, Derek, what do you do?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because I knew the moment I said financial advisor, people's eyes glaze over.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: They start to walk backwards.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: They they utter something like, I have enough insurance already.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: It was terrible.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, there has to be a better way.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then what I realized, Ashley, was advisors are great at what they do, but they are terrible at describing it.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it costs them lots of high net worth clients.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so let me let me share an example with you.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I think our advisors watching and listening can relate to this.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: So picture yourself at a social event in your local community.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: You've got your favorite beverage in your hand and you're mingling around the room.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: And a man approaches you and asks, Hey, what do you do?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you reply, I'm a financial advisor.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And he says, Oh, okay.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: And you ask, Well, what do you do?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: And he says, Well, I'm a personal trainer.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: I design workout and eating plans so people could get into shape.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: And you ask a few other questions, have a small conversation, and then you continue to mingle around the room.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, later on in the evening, a woman approaches you and asks, Hey, what do you do?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you say, Well, I'm a financial advisor.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: She says, Oh, okay.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: And you ask, Well, what do you do?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: And she says, You know how busy business owners, they always put everybody else's needs above their own so their health takes a backseat.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: We specialize in creating custom tailored workout and eating plans so people feel good, but more importantly, they look great.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: And one day they can be the cool grandparent that has the energy to chase their grandkids across the floor.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: We specialize in personal training for busy business owners.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Pause.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Now let's say that a week or so goes by and you look in the mirror and you say to yourself, I think I need a personal trainer.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: Which personal trainer, Ashley, would you call?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Trainer one, the man, trainer two, the woman.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Definitely too.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Definitely.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: And why do you say that?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because I would have left that conversation with an understanding truly of like what that trainer does.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, and I would have probably seen myself in that description as well.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a busy professional.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Also, like life goals are to be the cool grandparent, let's be honest.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, right.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I think I I would have called you trainer number two because I would have seen myself and I would it would have just made sense what it is that they do.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Did I get right?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: You did.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: Ashley, you got a hundred on the scorecard.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's all that matters.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: And when I speak and coach, when I give that example, everyone also picks trainer number two.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's because they say it seemed like she was relating to my concerns.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: I could relate to what she was saying.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: She made it practical.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: It spoke to me.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: And what's interesting is when you are asked as an advisor, what do you do?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: And you reply, I'm a financial advisor, I'm a wealth manager, I'm a dream funder, whatever you call yourself, you're forcing people to burn their brain cells to figure out what the heck you're talking about.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Now, for many advisors listening, it's going to sound crazy because advisors are like, an advisor is an advisor.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: We all know what that means.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: But outside the circle, people don't.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: They may be thinking something like, Well, I am a friend of mine's mom lost a lot of money with a financial advisor.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Or don't advisors just sell you big insurance policies to make big commissions?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Or why do I need an advisor?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: I've got AI.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: And all you said was financial advisor.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: The people have this checklist.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: So what I want to do, Ashley, let me let me say two things to you.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to see how you respond to both of these.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: All right, let's go.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Number one.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, here we go.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: Ashley, you know how when you take your car to the mechanic, it often feels like you're getting taken advantage of or overcharged.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it used to.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: But yes, it used to.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I have had that experience.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: You've had that experience.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: You nodded your head, you said yes, it was relatable.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, now picture for those of our listeners that have teenagers at home, uh, picture two moms talking to each other.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: And one mom says to the other mom, teenage daughters, you know how it feels like when you talk to your daughter, everything you say it goes in one ear and right out the other.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, preach, keep preaching.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Preach.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so so in either of those scenarios, Ashley, did you have to burn any brain cells to understand what I was saying?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Or was it very, very clear?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's pretty clear.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: So the point is when you want to stand out, when you want someone to say, tell me more and not close the door, you want to connect with an instantly relatable problem that the person has.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: So for example, when I was an advisor, we focused on people who were a couple of years from retirement or already retired.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so I call this my you know how framework.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you say to someone, hey, Ashley, you know how it infers to that person, they will know exactly what you're talking about.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: It just invites them psychologically to say, yeah.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: So they come into the conversation knowing they're going to know what you're talking about.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: So the key is to make it super simple, third grade level, least amount of words wins.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: So my you know how phrase was often, hey Derek, what do you do?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know how so many people worry about running out of money in retirement?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: We help them fix that.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Or for example, a female advisor recently asked me just a few weeks ago, Derek, I work with women who have a lot of sudden life events.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: But when I talk about what I do, I can tell they're getting bored.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: How do I fix that?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so we worked with her on her, you know, so-and-so, what do you do?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know how so many women they face a sudden life event like a death or a divorce or a job loss, and they feel stuck.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: We help them fix that.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: Or, for example, a person who works with doctors who wanted to stand out said, you know how doctors care so deeply for their patients, but their own personal finances need a prescription for help me, we help them fix that.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: You see, the point is you say something so relatable that they say instantly, I get that.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: So when we do that and you connect with a pain point, you become instantly more compatible.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: And as I like to say, uh, when you tell someone something new, they don't always know what to do.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: But when you tell someone something true, it draws them closer to you.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Now, does this guarantee everybody you talk to will become a client?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: No, but you know the path.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: If you say financial advisor, wealth manager, dream funder, the eyes are gonna glaze.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: But if you can say you know how, and you say it is I like to say low and slow.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like in Texas, we we we love our barbecue, and I love brisket.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: And if you know how brisket is cooked, it's cooked low and slow.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Cooked right, by the way.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: Cooked right cooked right.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so the moment you begin to talk and you begin to talk a little bit lower and just a little bit slower, you automatically sound more caring and empathetic and trustworthy.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so in those moments where you're kind of nervous about okay, what do you do?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then what Derek says to say, just take a breath and just talk a little bit lower and a little bit slower.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: I just say, go brisket.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you're automatically viewed as more caring and trustworthy and empathetic.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: We need to get that on our shirt, Derek.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, go go brisket and low and I'm toying with either shirts or hats.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: I just don't know if women would wear a hat that say go brisket on it.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: Would you wear a hat that's in the right?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I also listen, as a North Carolina girl, like I love me some barbecue, I love me some brisket.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: So now we won't get into which is better, Texas or North Carolina.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we won't have that discussion here.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Fair enough.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: But just know that we share a common interest in barbecue, right?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I would wear the hat that says go brisket.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so that's good.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's a vote.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is such a fantastic start.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: This, you know, yeah, the you know, you know how formally and then let's go low, right?
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Low and slow.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot of psychology there just around from a communication standpoint, like why talking slower and not too low to where it's creepy, but like Yeah, like the goal is no creepiness.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't be creepy, but there is just some research there around when we speak slower, how especially if someone, if it's new information, like it allows their brain to play catch up, it connects and it just resonates with them because their nervous system isn't going haywire, like, oh my gosh, this person is talking so fast and they're spitting a lot of information.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I love what you're sharing here.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I agree.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to go back to why then do advisors lead with credentials?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: What has been maybe from your lens, from your experience, why advisors and really a lot of people, why do they lead with that?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well, first of all, that's what they were taught.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like they most people feel like that what high net worth prospects want, or any prospect or any client wants, is I need to impress you with the wide suite of products and services we have available.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Did you know we we offer this or this?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: And that's going to be what wows and lures in the high net worth prospect from the competitors.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: And what we find is those are all commodities, those are table stakes.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so advisors who try to sell on the features and benefits of the products and services are simply putting themselves in a comparison game with every other advisor.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: And what I tell advisors is if you want to work with higher net worth clients, you don't need more designation.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need more education, you don't need more experience.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to work with higher net worth clients, you need to have a greater understanding of higher net worth client problems.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: You see, words equal wealth.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so ultimately, we think that AI is going to replace human interaction.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: So many advisors I taught to say, Derek, finally, the intro in me is so happy.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: Now I no longer have to talk to people.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: I can just DM them, I can LinkedIn them, I can email, and it's going to be fine.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: But ultimately, I believe in the world of high tech, what wins the most is high touch.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so most advisors, A, just aren't taught the fact of, oh, hey, there's a framework.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: By the way, this is a new framework.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so people are just now learning about it.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: But when you can connect with an instantly relatable pain point, that's the key.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: And actually, you know, one of the things when I when I speak, there is a visual that I'll do.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'll pull a piece of luggage on stage with me.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I talk about that while we're young, all of us, well, in life, one of the things that we all have in common is we're all carrying a roller bag of luggage.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: And when we're young, this roller bag feels light.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's filled with our hopes and our goals and our dreams.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: But as we get older, it gets weighted down by our problems and our pain and our worries and our fears.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: And deep inside all of us, we want someone to help solve our problems and help make the pain go away.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so most advisors think what they're doing is I'm just here to give you products and services.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Really, what advisors are is you are luggage lighteners.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Your job is to lighten the baggage that every prospect is carrying behind them so they feel seen, heard, understood, and you get paid more money because you specialize in a unique painful problem that they're like, oh my gosh, finally somebody has the medicine for my financial pain.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this reminds me of something I have talked about in that what clients really want when they're coming to you is they want to know, are you there for me?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so R A R E is an acronym for accessible, are you responsive, and are you engaged?
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: Are you there for me?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Are you going to be there for me from a helping to get in the trenches, you know, solve my problems or opening that suitcase, lightening the load like for me?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's ultimately what clients want.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I can see why just listening to you here now, that introduction piece and talking about how you solve the problem, it directly answers that question of, are you there for me?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because now I can start to see myself and I can start to see us working together and you solving those problems and you showing up there for me because you understand the problems that I have there.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: That metaphor there.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna like, that's gonna click in my brain.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's so fantastic.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's a lot less clinical than the way that I than the way I explain it, which is always great.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always looking for, you said earlier, like third grade level.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: I had a mentor who was in the when I worked for the US Army, and he was a social worker, but he was also an officer in the army.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: And he would always be like, cute, you gotta break it down crayon's level, girl.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And the and like when he love that.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: Break it down crayon's level is great.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and he is someone very, very near and dear to my heart, taught me a lot in those early years.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: But that just resonates with me.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like break it down to like third grade level or crayons level, right?
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: There.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so that luggage metaphor is such a brilliant way to do that.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now, okay, I am curious because your framework here.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's I think it's beautiful.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's brilliant, like Chef's Kiss.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I can also see where some people may come across as still kind of salesy.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, like maybe it's like a vibe there.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, I'm curious maybe from your end, how can we craft like this intro that it lands the way that we want it to?
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: We're solving the problem, we're communicating and storytelling and connecting, but it doesn't sound salesy.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Is there any language or like body language, tone that you kind of coach on or suggest?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: One of people's biggest objections to what I'm talking about is, Derek, what if I sound salesy?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: What if I sound like I'm really pushy?
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: And what I would tell you is until the pain is great, the change does not occur.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: So if you say financial advisor or wealth manager or dream funder, and you keep getting the same eyes glaze over, brushing you off, well then you know what the outcome is going to be.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: But would you be willing to think just a little bit differently that could then open the door for people to say, tell me more?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so the best way to do this is it's all words that would naturally come out of your mouth, not Derek's mouth.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: And the way to do this is the five and five exercise.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I ask every advisor to write down their five most recent clients and then write down their five favorite clients.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: Now, two things happen when you write down your five most recent clients.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Shockingly, and I encourage every advisor to think like a CEO about their business.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: Typically, less than half of those five are ideal clients of who you really want to work with.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: You've just been so busy or managing or leading the team that people kind of slipped in.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: You're happy to work with them, but they're not the exact fit for who you want.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Now, by contrast, your five favorite clients, these are the people who respect you, they adore you, you might socialize with them outside the office.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: Anything you say to do, they do it.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: And they pay you because they value you.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: So the purpose is we want to look at both sets of people.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: And step one is to look at what is the problem that those clients came to you to help them solve.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: Was it just retirement tax, insurance, or was there a deeper worry?
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to run out of money.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: I want to make sure my spouse is protected if I die.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: I want to make sure my kids don't have to pay a lot of taxes on all the money I've worked hard to build.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever that may be, you want to go deeper.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: I like to say to the deeper end of the pool, and then identify the common thread of what those problems are.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's the best focus group you have, is that five and five, because these are the people who work with you and they put their name to you, telling you what the problem is.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then the second thing is you want to ask what was the emotion that they felt when they came to you?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Were they nervous, anxious, frustrated, uncertain?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: What was that?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: As best as you can figure out.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: And then third, what is the emotion that they feel now that they're working with you?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Do they feel peace of mind, confident, in control?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: All of those then become the words that you then cobble together based on my simple framework.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And by the way, there's three lines, but step one, I call it the express lane.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's a simple one line that you can say to connect with people.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: So basically, the formula is you know how and then you insert the person or group you work with.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: Women often worry about running out of money.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: People often worry about and then insert the problem.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: Running out of money, feeling further behind financially, their finances are out of control.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: Question mark.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: We help fix that.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a simple phrasing.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: And the key here is just practicing it.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: Again, this is you're you're sort of putting a new groove in your brain.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: But let me tell you, I got so frustrated, Ashley, when I knew people would ask me financial advisor what I did.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: If I said financial advisor to shock my system, I wouldn't allow myself to eat my next meal.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's how serious it got.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because I knew, say, financial advisor out of convenience kind of brush the conversation off.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's the outcome.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: But when I when I practice and began to watch the tonation of how I say this, it's much like a doctor who has the medicine for your financial pain.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: And it just bothers me so much that you're struggling and I want to help you.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's literally that that level of seriousness.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: So for example, hey Derek, what do you do?
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know how so many advisors they're great at what they do, but they're terrible at describing it.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: I help them fix that.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know how so many people they worry about running out of money in retirement as I slightly nod my head, and the person will nod their head as well.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: We help them fix that.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: You see, probably 10 words, but the more you practice it, it just sounds like it just came out of your brain naturally, but you have to go into the conversation because literally it's not the sense of you're selling, is you're saving these people from their financial despair, is the attitude you want to have.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want to just point out a few things because some people might be listening on audio right now.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: And you just said something that made me think of this.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: When you just gave, when you just gave those examples there, one of the things, and this is why I think it works with clients, but um, I want to hear your perspective on this too, is not only did you go brisket style low and slow, right?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: There were some intentional pauses in there.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: And those pauses, they allowed my brain to catch up to what you were saying.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: You also nodded your head, which you which you called out, right?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the from a body language standpoint, like the feedback that just kind of shows like, hey, I'm with you, I'm connecting with you, I get you.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: We're making sense here together when we're both nodding like like bubble heads, right?
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like just like nutting along.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: But you also were, and I know we're virtual, like we're on we're on a video here, but you were also making eye contact.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: And what I felt from that eye contact was that you saw me, not just literally, but like, you know, saw like me as a person, maybe my problem.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: You were engaged there with me.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: So you weren't just like looking around off kind of in space, right?
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a sense of confidence that came through there.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like as a on a client side, oh, like Derek is serious, but I can also trust him.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: I know we were just kind of shooting the breeze about like brisket and barbecue and which is better, like Texas or North Carolina.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: But whoa, like when he just shifted there and shared that, I feel like I got kind of a serious side to him in a way that communicates passion, confidence, and care.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to point that out and highlight that specifically because I think for advisors, like when you practice it the way that you're talking about here, on the client side, like that's that's what happens, that's what gets felt.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we want.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear from you.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: Is that your experience, like in terms of why this works, like for clients?
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: Has there been any feedback that either you've had or that the advisors that you've coached that they've shared as far as why this works?
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, first of all, I I like the dot by dot assessment that I feel like you're you're kind of John Madden or we're looking back on the game film together.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: I love it, I love this.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny because when I step on stages, I tell advisors, I am not here to give you theory.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm also not here to change your life, and I'm not here to change your business plan.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here to give you just a little quarter twist, the simple steps that lead to big results.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so all of this stuff works and it works fast.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'll tell you two quick stories.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: I I received a LinkedIn DM from an advisor about six months ago.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, Derek, I've got a crazy story.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: Can we set up a Zoom?
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: I've got to tell you this.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so he read one of my LinkedIn posts where I put this dialogue, the you know how framework about how to use it very simply.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: So he was having a conversation with his next door neighbor, and he wove in the you know how framework.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, What the neighbor told him was, he said, I thought you were just a financial advisor.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know the problem that you solved for people like me.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: This person had$7 million.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: They've been dissatisfied with their advisor.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: And the neighbor said, Would you be willing to take us on as clients?
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: And my next level of training for advisors is to simply say, Yes.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: So, so it's so practical.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then another another advisor, one part of this is because you're not always in a social setting.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you don't always meet new people every day.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: But one question we all get asked almost every day is, Hey, so how's work going?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: How's your day?
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: We get asked, how's work going all the time?
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: And we often say, Oh, it's going good.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then that's it.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: The door closes.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: So instead, we want to use this you know how framework as a central part of everything we talk about.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so what I what I taught this advisor was, hey, next time you get asked, Hey, how's work going?
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's it's very interesting because a lot of people I'm talking to right now, you know, they make good money, but they're worried about falling behind financially.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it just feels like people need a plan and they feel stuck.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so he wove into casual conversation, the point, and that then led to well, well, tell me more about that.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: That led to about a$3 million lead that converted the following week.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so the point of all this is just like you're an actor, actress, an athlete, an entertainer.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think Ashley?
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: Let me ask you this.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Who would be uh your favorite artist that you would love to see in concert?
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, I I would say again would probably be Dave Matthews.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, Dave Matthews band, yeah, yeah.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: So do you think that uh where you live, that Dave Matthews band, they show up at a coffee shop two hours before the show, and they're like, okay, guys, we're at another new city.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: We've got to come up with 10 new songs because the audience has heard all of our other music before.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: No, but no, I don't think they would do that.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: They don't do that.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: But but what they do on stage is they sing each of the songs every fan loves as though it's the first time they've ever sung it.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so one thing that advisors often get hung up on is we've got to keep reinventing ourselves.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: You know, a success I have on Monday, I forget Monday afternoon and I'm already doing something different.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: The point of it is the wealthiest, most successful people find what works and they keep doing it over and over and over and over again.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost boring, but you know it so well that it almost sounds like it's the first time you've ever said it.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so, as advisors, uh keep in mind your part entertainer as well.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: You want to engage people.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: I talk to advisors all the time.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: One was named like the top advisor, the top advisor in Dallas, Texas.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: But his struggle was Derek, I have all these accolades.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: Why aren't I growing as much as this other person?
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a far better advisor than them, he said.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Well, how many people know that you even exist?
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: And he had to look in the mirror and say, You're right.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I like to say, always be marketing.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, most financial advisors think they are financial advisors, but they're not.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: They're marketing companies who provide high-quality financial planning advice.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: When I had my office before I sold my practice, I always had my office that overlooked the highway.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason I did that was it was a reminder that I was often voted like the top advisor in my local area.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so I just heavy marketing, heavy relationship building, heavy community involvement.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I realized cars were leaving Arlington, Texas every day.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: And they might never come back.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so all the investment I made for them to know who I was, gone.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then every day, new cars were driving into Arlington, having never ever heard of Derrick Kenney before.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I had to always be marketing to make sure I hit those people.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: The point of it was I need to always be marketing.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: You think that people would know, man, that's the smartest advisor.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to call them.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's the person who has the most rapport and relationship with people.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: And when you can communicate that you understand a painful problem that your prospect has and then promote heavily that you know that problem and you can help solve it, then you become the advisor of choice.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's the part of the we talk about here financial planning, meeting human understanding.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: But that last like statement right there, like that's the part that really shows that you understand who the human, right, who the client really is, is if you are focused on their problems and who they are as people, right?
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: Not just the products and the services that you provide.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: Those are great.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: But as you said, I think uh towards the beginning of our conversation, like those are also just table stakes, too.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: Truly, like what builds businesses is the relationship part.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: I found that myself, like when I had my own private practice.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't do actually any like overt marketing outwardly here in the local area.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was truly through getting on the ground and like building relationships and talking about how I help couples and you know, the types of couples that I help and what are the problems that I see.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: What are the problems I also don't see?
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right, right.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because some point that might come about.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I also love, I think one of the things that I am taking away from this conversation is talking about when people ask, like, hey, how is work going?
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: I have been on, you know, a few network kind of collegial coffee chats here more recently.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: And there is that question of like, hey, like, tell me about how are things going?
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: How is work?
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: And while maybe they kind of know what I do or we do, you know, beyond the plan, I just think your answer there is so great and where I can start to be better, even myself, around talking about the problem piece and how we're solving that.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of just saying, work is good, work's going well, it's busy, or it totally sucks, like whatever it is.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: I just I love that, Derek.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think that is a huge takeaway for myself personally, that I'd like to start answering that question better as a great practice, a great practice piece.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so many people think that it's sort of like politics and church and sex.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: There's there's certain topics we just don't talk about.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: And when people ask about work, oh, if I say something about work, it's gonna sound workish and like this work alert button goes off, and everybody knows.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, no, it's casual conversation.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_01: Again, but practicing it is the key.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll tell you a personal story.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I always like to practice what I preach.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, advisors ask me, well, Derek, why do you do TV each week?
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_01: You're not an advisor anymore.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm on the local Dallas Full Worth station every week.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it's because I do that to stay sharp.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_01: And if I'm going to teach my clients how to be good podcast guests or be on TV or the, then I've got to be in the game myself all the time.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna tell you to do something I'm not currently doing or had success with.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm that I'm a pretty thin coach, if that makes sense.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I was at a uh at a speaking event, and this was about a month ago.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: A woman said to me, Hey Derek, I I see your stuff on LinkedIn, but what is it that you do?
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I have practiced my you know how statement on the airplane.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, this is as a speaker, my goal is more speaking opportunities.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so when she said that, I'm like, I solve a unique problem for advisors.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know how so many advisors, they're great at what they do, but they are terrible at describing it.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_01: I helped them fix that in under 45 minutes.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: There was nothing that left her to wonder what the heck you're talking about.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: It was very value-driven.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, then they booked me.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: That'll be the event I have coming up next week, but all from that conversation in the courtyard at this evening event.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: One, it was three sentences that put in her mind, oh, that's now I know what you do.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I say all that to say words equal wealth.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: The right word spoken at the right time, said to the right person about the right painful problem, leads to great profits.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: And remember, if you want to make it rain, connect with pain.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's like one of those, that's also going on a hat or a t-shirt, like one of those mag drop uh moments.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: I love all of that.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: At the heart of this, it's truly about connecting with people.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: And and I think that for those of you who are listening, if you truly, truly just lean into that first, the connection first, right?
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: Using all of Derek's like wisdom, the wealth will come, the growth will come, the confidence will come, all the things will start to come.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, Derek, as we are sadly wrapping up, it's always sad to wrap up.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the worst time of the show for me.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: It is kind of sad to wrap up.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: I feel pretty sad right now myself.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: I've really enjoyed this conversation.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_00: I never like wrapping up, but as we are wrapping up, if people want more Derek in their life, if they're like, man, this Derek guy is so cool.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: I want more of him in my life.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: Where can they find you?
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: Where can they connect with you?
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: The best way is LinkedIn.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, our LinkedIn community is growing very, very fast.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so simply following me on LinkedIn, I want to give you the good stuff uh to bring in clients and make more money faster.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: And then the second of all would be going to our website, which is successforadvisors.com.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a free download there that's called 10 Conversation Mistakes Advisors Make and How It Costs Them Clive.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: So download that and that gets you some immediate value.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: It also adds you to our weekly high net worth playbook newsletter, which advisors tell me is helping them grow their business every single week, uh, which is great.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then totally randomly, if you want to follow me on Instagram, we we have a growing Instagram channel as well.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: So either way, well, we'd love to have you be a part.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, I love that.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get on Instagram after we get off here and I'm gonna give you a follow.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you to all of you for tuning in today and allowing Derek and I into your ears and into your mind.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you found this conversation valuable, if it resonated with you in a way of yes, this is awesome.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is great.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: We would both love to keep the connection going.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: Derek shared where you can engage with him.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: You can also follow me on LinkedIn where I share weekly insights, almost daily insights, maybe at this point, around the human side of money, connecting financial planning to the human side of money.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want even more Ashley Kwame in your life, not only can you head over to LinkedIn, but you can also follow me on Instagram.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: We also have a YouTube channel at BeyondThePlan Solutions.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: You can give us a follow there.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is a new channel that we are growing.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: So give us, subscribe, do all the things.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't there a, I think there's a bell maybe that you click.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm learning.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm learning.
• 38:51
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• 38:53
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• 38:58
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• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: And as always, my friends, as you go out into your week, remember finances don't have feelings, but your clients do.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, keep planning, keep growing, and keep going beyond.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for joining me on this episode of Planning and Beyond.
• 39:29
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• 39:35
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• 39:40
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• 39:46
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• 40:07
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• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, keep planning, keep growing, and keep going.