Latest / Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul / Ep 23 | This Pattern Stops Here: Healing the Mother Line and Realigning Relationships

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Ep 23 | This Pattern Stops Here: Healing the Mother Line and Realigning Relationships · Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul

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Welcome to Rise and Realign, conversations for
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the sensitive soul. I'm Melissa, and this space
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is for those of us who feel deeply, love fiercely,
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and sense the world in ways that are hard to
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explain, but impossible to ignore. Here, we honor
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your sensitivity as a strength, not something
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to fix. Through reflections, realignment, and
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soul -led stories, we remember how to move through
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life in a way that feels true to who we really
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are. This is your space to rise, to realign,
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and to come home again and again to your own
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wise, sensitive self. So this morning and actually
1:08
the past several days, what's been coming up
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for me personally and in varying degrees with
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the amazing sensitive and strong women that I
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am so honored to work with. It's, it's around
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relationships, um, you know, and again, being
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somebody who started in the field of psychology
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and quickly realized that social work was more
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all encompassing of relationships, you know,
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um, with family, with neighbors, with, you know,
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communities and businesses, right? all the different
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types of relationships that we may encounter
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throughout our journeys. But what I've found
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interesting is, you know, as highly sensitive
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women, you know, if we are overloaded, right,
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because again, taking in more stimuli from our
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environment and feeling more intimately on the
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deeper levels of our own experiences, right?
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We may be able to recognize some patterns, but
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the more bogged down we are, right, the less
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aware we are of different patterns that we may
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be engaged in, or others in our lives, or even
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that broader view of, you know, what ancestral
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patterns, you know, that haven't been resolved
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are coming through us. And that's something that,
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you know, I really want to shine a light on,
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because it's not easy. Number one, to be a highly
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sensitive individual when you are either not
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raised in a supportive, you know, loving environment,
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or even if you are, and you've encountered some
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really deep emotional scars, right? Because Being
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as open as highly sensitive individuals are,
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right, which is anywhere from 15 to 30 % of the
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population, where again, we're feeling things
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more intensely. And so when that imprinting goes
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really deep, it can be hard for us to recognize,
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like, what's my pattern? You know, what's a pattern
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that I carried forward? And I'm just beginning
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to realize. And what's more of a collective patterning,
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right? And so again, I walk with women wherever
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they are on their journey of, you know, slowing
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down and coming back into alignment with their
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true and authentic self and voice and journey.
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And I also you know, having been on my own awakening
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journey, you know, and the profound awakening
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happened in 2008. But I certainly was waking
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up to, you know, some of the collective patterns,
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right? Like, I definitely learned the limitations
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of conventional medicine long before I had this
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spiritual awakening. But there's definitely a
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lot that we can learn from our relationships
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um and i'm i'm finding that the ones closest
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for highly sensitive women are you know that
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family line um especially the the female and
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whether that's the mother line or you know the
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females in your family um and it's not easy to
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be the sensitive woman in your circle, right?
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Who's waking up and noticing these things sooner
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than others. Because again, a lot of people,
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and again, I absolutely am included in this,
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you know, we can only operate in a sense from
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the level of awareness and consciousness. that
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we have the capacity for. And I certainly live
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in the mystery of, you know, the universe and
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life and how it unfolds, because it truly is
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just so expansive. But I've been able to recognize,
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you know, that there is this mother line of healing
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that's being invited, you know, at this. point
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of my journey and of the women in my life. So
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I'm experiencing it, you know, with the clients
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that I work with, the amazing women who are sharing
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what they're realizing about relationships and
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how, you know, generous and giving they've been
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and how it's not been reciprocated, right? And
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that they're getting to that realization that
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um their their needs matter right that we can't
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continue to um be overly generous for others
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right and um it's not selfish when you are the
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one who says this pattern needs to stop and it's
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going to stop here with me right so whether that's
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you in your you know circle of friends where
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you happen to be the one who's noticing like
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you know what this relationship really isn't
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nurturing me you know I'm not feeling the love
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I'm not feeling heard or understood um and I
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need to keep moving on my path um and you know
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of course there's different ways that We may
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do that. Sometimes it may be out of pain, right?
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In the sense of you just want to cut off the
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relationship. You want to have no more communication
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because something really hurtful has happened.
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And other times it's more of like this gradual
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awareness that's growing. And then you get to
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that point where you say, you know what, this
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just isn't supporting me anymore. I need to take
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care of me. And so I just want you to understand
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that you may feel alone or even lonely when your
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circle starts to get smaller because you are
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seeing the patterns, right? And you're recognizing
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what doesn't serve your highest and greatest
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good. And that matters. right? Like your relationship
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with you is the number one relationship to nurture.
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So the more you're tuning into how you're feeling,
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right? Like how a relationship or how an exchange
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is leaving you afterwards, right? And again,
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there's no timeline, right? Like I'm certainly
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somebody who has lived my fair share of, you
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know, shame, guilt, you know, blame. But I've
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gotten to the place where I realized that does
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not serve anyone, right? And so the more you
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can just be with yourself in a loving and accepting
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way, you know, that says, okay, this just doesn't
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work anymore. You know, I need to keep moving
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forward in a way that honors me, right? So I
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really want you to hear that you taking care
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of you is number one. And there may be feelings
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of sadness around that, right? There may be a
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grieving process. And there most likely will
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be a point where you question like, Did I really
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see this correctly? You know, you know, should
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I give this relationship another chance? You
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know, or are you really clear that you're just
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moving forward without that person in your life
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anymore? I really, again, want to say that there's
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no one right way to do this because each one
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of us are very unique and what our soul's, you
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know, curriculum in a sense is, is unique. So
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I certainly can't tell you that relationship's
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unhealthy for you. You know, you should do X,
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Y, Z. And anyone who chooses to work with me,
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you know, will quickly understand that I'm here
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to honor your experiences and to support you
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in reconnecting with realigning with that truth,
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that voice within yourself, because you are the
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only one who can see what you can see from these
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different relationships, right? And again, we
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often find it easiest to go based on what we
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see. right that more earthly you know density
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physical plane experience is what somebody says
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what somebody does right but i speak from the
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soul level to say there are so many different
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aspects at play And that's why your truth is
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only going to be found within you and not anyone
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else. So even when you speak about your experiences
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with another loved one, right, who, you know,
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you may be sharing your, you know, decision to
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stop communication with, right? Everybody's...
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gonna have their own reaction to that or response
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and some people may share it and some people
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may not but really it doesn't matter what other
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people are thinking because your experience is
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yours and that's what matters most is how are
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you feeling about your experience and decision
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and what are you feeling clarity around you know
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in moving forward um And the other thing is to
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remember as highly sensitive individuals, this
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depth of processing that we have, you know, means
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that an impulsive decision is not likely going
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to last just because if it's coming from that
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bigger emotional reaction, right? Like that's
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just part of the process. That's not the decision
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making moment, right? Like you really want to
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allow your unique depth of processing to fulfill
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its path, right? Because it is a process. And
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so for me, it's seeing the exchanges, it's seeing
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the history, it's, you know, again, realigning
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with what matters most to you until you have
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that full view and clarity around, yes, this
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feels true and correct for me. This is what I
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need to do for me. And I just want to touch on
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because i mentioned the mother line and you know
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there really is a lot to what that means and
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what that looks like and i do go into this in
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much more depth in my um group immersive the
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realigned journey that happens at the autumn
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equinox but just on a more you know uh simple
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level right like There is so much that gets passed
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along the mother line. And those of us who are
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starting to, you know, be able to see more patterns,
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like I said, on the individual level, on the
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relational level, on the more collective level,
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you know, you may be, again, the only one in
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your circle or the first one, if not the only
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one, right, to breaking these old patterns. I
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personally know that it is not easy to be the
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one whose voice is being spoken first, right?
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Because not everyone can hear what you have to
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say. And it's not because they don't want to,
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from my perspective, it's that they just aren't
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there. And again, I speak to the mystery of life
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because I don't know why my path of awakening
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started when it did 20 something years ago, right?
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And why other people may be starting theirs now,
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right? So there's no judgment, but you need to
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be true to you wherever you are. And if you are
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at the point where your nervous system is feeling
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safe enough to speak up, more than you used to,
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right? Like to honor that it could be a little
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uncomfortable being the first to speak the truth
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about something and not be able to be received
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because that other person isn't able or ready
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or have the capacity to actually hear what you're
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saying. And It's taken me, I would say, I would
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call it a long time, you know, because there's
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certain people in my life that are very close
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to me. But there's been a lot of what I mentioned
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earlier, where some of the experiences have left
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deep imprints. just has to, um, in a sense, um,
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art ways, right? And we don't know if it's for
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the duration of this journey or if it's for a
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certain amount of time until there's a closer
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proximity to that understanding of what the person
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who can see the pattern, right? And what i've
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also found quite amazing is you know i can see
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certain patterns on even a global scale right
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but somebody else may see a pattern that i'm
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part of that maybe i hadn't noticed right so
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Again, the value in you being somebody who can
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speak your truth and the pattern that you're
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noticing, your willingness to open your heart,
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right? And share with the possibility that you
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could experience some heartache from being the
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one to share. I mean, that's really what I feel
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is important to know is that you're not alone.
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I have walked this path. I'm still walking this
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path. And the more you realign with your heart,
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your breath, your body, your soul, right? The
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more you can understand what your path and purpose
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is about, right? And it's not to be somebody
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who, you know, is too intense or too emotional
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or too sensitive. Again, i have said this before
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this is truly a sensory intelligence and there
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are evolutionary reasons for it but we need to
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understand how we are designed right to really
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connect with and know ourselves, because we need
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to understand this gift of sensitivity that can
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also, you know, invite intense challenges, right?
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I mean, for a lot of people, it feels like quite
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the emotional roller coaster, right? Either there's
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really high highs and really low lows, or sometimes
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there's just a lot of, you know, shutting it
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down. Like, nope, not going to feel this. It's
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too big, you know? Nope, not going to have that
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conversation, you know? And you just keep pushing
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it down. And again, no judgment, because I certainly
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have done that along my journey as well. I'm
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just here to keep sharing from my heart and my
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lived experiences, you know, that being a highly
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sensitive woman is so multidimensional and your
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ability to know yourself and to keep returning,
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you know, keep coming home to yourself and what
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your gifts are, right? The goodness within you.
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right? And to keep returning to what you can
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be grateful for. Because I have found that when
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I'm the one who's speaking up, and I'm the one
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who is, therefore, in a sense, the impetus for
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someone else's discomfort, because not everybody's
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ready to face, you know, the truth, right? Of
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what they may be doing or what they may be thinking
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or the judgments that they're carrying towards
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you, right? So it can certainly put a highly
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sensitive woman into a space of self -doubt and
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questioning. And I'm here to just keep reminding
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you that you're not alone. It's not always easy,
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but keep coming back to you, right? And what
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you're grateful for, because there are plenty
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of things for you to be grateful for. And even
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if you have to start with, you know, the bed
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that you're sleeping on, the roof over your head,
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right? Like the food that nourishes you, right?
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Like the person who smiled at you today, like
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whatever it may be. Just know that, you know,
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you can do that, right? You can realign with
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the goodness, the greatness, the gratitude, right?
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That divine spark within you. And that truly
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is the way through is to keep realigning, keep
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returning, keep recentering yourself in the truth
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that's within you. No one can take that away.
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No one. But with our depth of processing and
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reflecting, right, and our willingness as, you
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know, considerate, sensitive souls, we're sometimes
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willing to take on way more than is our responsibility.
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And that's part of what this awakening is, is
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to start. putting things down that are not yours
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to carry, right? Loosening the load, you know,
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just dropping things that are just like, no,
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this doesn't serve me. You know, I thought I
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was being helpful in this situation, but clearly,
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you know, I don't need to keep doing that. And
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the more each of us, you know, connects with
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what supports us. And again, that can be like
22:41
joining any of my, uh, realigned circles, you
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know, um, I'll be launching my new, um, essentials
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course. Your sensitivity is intelligent, uh,
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design with four seasonal threshold gatherings.
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Um, called sensitivity realignment spiral, right?
23:05
You're always invited to join me and the other
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sensitive and strong women who walk this path
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too. And there's also, I mean, I see so many
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amazing other, you know, awakened professionals.
23:23
you know, walking this path and have their own,
23:26
you know, communities where you can feel supported,
23:31
right? There's so many people who now, you know,
23:36
are talking about the nervous system and the
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importance of understanding, you know, how to
23:41
care for your nervous system. And again, there's
23:44
so many different angles and perspectives, and
23:47
you just choose the one that resonates with you
23:50
the most. But I just want you to know that I
23:55
certainly welcome and invite you into the space
23:59
that I'm holding for sensitive and strong women
24:02
who really want to understand, you know, well,
24:06
how am I designed as someone with this sensory
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processing sensitivity trait, right? This collection
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of, you know, aspects, right? Like having just
24:23
a unique neuroanatomy and a more finely tuned
24:26
nervous system and the way, you know, your sensory
24:31
intelligence just takes in more information and
24:35
processes it more deeply, right? Like I'm here
24:39
to support you in reframing your perspective
24:44
of yourself, right? Of your past. So that you
24:50
can be true to you and you can really tend to
24:54
your unique needs. Because I know, you know,
24:59
you have wonderful gifts within you and you have
25:02
wonderful. perspectives to share. And, you know,
25:07
you have the ability within yourself to realign,
25:12
right, every day. And I'm aware that it's really
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helpful to be surrounded by others who are walking
25:21
a similar path as you. And I'm certainly somebody
25:27
who speaks from a wholeness vantage point, right?
25:33
Like having had, you know, a career in mental
25:36
health, you know, working in the field since
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I was 19 and then having this spiritual awakening
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and, and then really delving into understanding
25:45
the body and, um, how we can care more for that
25:50
and understand the psychoneuroimmunology of our,
25:54
of our wellness, right? So again, there's an
25:59
abundance. of different supports that are available
26:03
for you. And if you're like me, I did not find
26:10
the community space that I felt I needed after
26:14
having such a profound and spontaneous spiritual
26:17
awakening. I tried in a lot of different places.
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Some of them held me for a little bit, but not
26:24
really. And it kept feeling like I was on my
26:31
own. And so I'm really here. Creating this space
26:36
for those of you who feel like, you know, there
26:39
isn't that sense of community that you really
26:42
feel understood and heard and connected to. And
26:46
that if this space, you know, that that I've
26:50
created is something that does resonate for you,
26:53
you're welcome here, you really are. And there's
26:57
such a wide variety of experiences that each
27:01
of us can have, right and interests and I certainly
27:05
use the human design system now and again to
27:10
help people also to deepen their understanding
27:13
of why their path may be the way it is. I don't
27:17
think that, you know, encompasses everything,
27:20
the human design system, just like I don't think
27:22
that understanding having high sensitivity encompasses
27:25
everything. I just use these as just kind of
27:32
a framework, right, to see how it supports you
27:37
in coming back home to you, because you have
27:41
everything you need inside of you. And I just
27:47
want you to know that you're supported here if
27:51
it resonates for you. And I will be sharing more
27:55
about this new essentials course. There's just
28:01
a lot that I, as a highly sensitive woman and
28:07
soul, are processing and want to ensure that
28:12
what I'm sharing in that essentials course is
28:16
the most supportive for anyone who decides to
28:24
join through that doorway. I would really love
28:33
to, before we close, that is, invite you to return
28:40
to your breath and to your body and to what feels
28:46
true for you right now. So let's take a break
28:52
and just breathe love for a moment or two. placing
28:57
one hand on your heart if that feels comfortable
29:01
for you and breathing in deeply through your
29:05
nose. If you can take a second inhale, do that,
29:09
lengthening your spine and then exhaling out
29:13
your mouth long and slow, whether that's like
29:16
you're blowing out a candle or saying, ah, honor
29:22
what is moving through you. So again, at your
29:28
own pace, but inhaling deeply through your nose,
29:31
second inhale with a long, tall spine, and then
29:36
a nice exhale, releasing out your mouth. So on
29:44
the inhale, you are receiving, and on the exhale,
29:48
you are releasing. Just remember there's nothing
29:55
you need to fix. Just notice what's here by being
30:02
here now. Where the heart leads, the body remembers,
30:10
and the soul awakens. So as a reminder, we are
30:17
here together to rise, reclaim. remember. And
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as always, I'm so grateful you're here. And if
30:30
you'd like to walk this sensitive and strong
30:33
path with me, I also write a weekly rise and
30:38
realign lunar letter for sensitive and strong
30:42
women to just become more aware of the rhythm
30:46
within themselves. So You can find everything
30:51
on my website, realignwithmelissa .com. Take
30:58
good care of you. Much love and light.