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Transcript

Carl Pointed at Himself on TV… Then Lost It On Entry · Opie & Carl

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Are we rolling, Mike? Cool, man. I can't hear you, Carl.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: You got Carl's mic on there, Mikey? We're ready to putt, Keith.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: My mic is off like a motherfucker.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: There he is. There I am. How are you, buddy?
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: I haven't seen you in a couple weeks, my friend.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: I am exhausted with myself.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: Are you?
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: Why are you exhausted with yourself?
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: I just have to stop my lifestyle. I've literally maxed
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: out so quickly.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: You already maxed out? I maxed out. You just gave
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: me hiccups. We've been podcasting for one minute and I
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: already got hiccups. Oh, my God. What do you mean
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: you maxed out?
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: I maxed out, Opie. My town is a disaster.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: Really? Oh, you hit the limit?
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: I might have to move.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Oh, really? The water's coming over the seawall?
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, bro. It's been breached, bro.
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: It's exactly what I thought it was going to be.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: It's a complete unmanageable mess.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: It's so unmanageable.
• 1:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah, for the people that don't know, Carl's living in
• 1:13
  Speaker 5: a creepy cabin in a very small town in the
• 1:15
  Speaker 5: middle of the woods, and he's pretty much.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: Knocking back all the broads.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, but this one. You're going to enjoy this one.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: This is an Opie story. Oh, really?
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: Why is it an Opie story?
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: Because it has what you relish the most in life, awkwardness.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Just pale awkwardness. So I'm at the bar, right? I'm
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: at a bar. And this girl comes up to me.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: And I was telling Mike before.
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: I do very unethical things. Like, I know when I'm
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: going to be on TV, so I time it so
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: I show up at the bar.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's hilarious. That's just smart. That's not unethical. That's
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: just smart.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: So the girl goes, so what do you do? And
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: I just casually point up to the screen. Right.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: And there I am judging.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: No kidding.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: Yes, it was perfect. Nobody had a chance. There was
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: a collective sigh in the bar because they knew they
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: lost the hot girl.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: It was like, oh, you mother.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: That's bullshit.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: They can't compete with that.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like Sean Connery shows up. You can't do nothing.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: What are you doing? There's a fucking Bond movie on
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: the tube.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, I just look at everyone and I point to
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: the fucking outfield. I'm like, this one's going out.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: You called the home run? I called the home run, bro.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I was like Robert Redford in the natural. I'm just
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: going around the bases. All the lights are flickering.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: Lightning strikes. Lightning strikes.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: It was incredible.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: But don't you have all the girls in the bar
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: that you've been with?
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and the side eye is just, it's getting too much.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: It went from hi, Carl, to hey, Carl.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, really?
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah, like. But don't you tell them up front, hey, man,
• 2:44
  Speaker 5: I just got divorced, freshly divorced. I'm not looking to
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: settle down, but if you want to have some fun,
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: let's do this.
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: I know, but there's some of them that want to
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: be the turnaround girl. They want to turn you around.
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: So they don't believe it in their heads.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like, oh, he's like an injured pony, but
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: I'm not. I'm just a dragon.
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: Right, but I'm special, and when he gets with me,
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: I'll be the one.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Thank you.
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: Meanwhile, they don't understand that I'm so dead and broken
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: that there's nothing you can do to fix it.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: I'm literally falling down a well. There's nothing you're going
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: to do to help me.
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: So the rest of the girls in the bar give
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: you the, hi, Carl.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Hey, Carl. There's the whore. Hey, Carl.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: There's that whore dude. Oh, look who he found. Oh,
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: she's dead.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: Are you labeled the male whore?
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I feel it.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: I don't know if that's a good thing, man.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: I don't care. So– Take the girl home, right? Everything's cool.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: Well, no, no, no. Let's not fast forward.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: All right, all right, all right.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: What does she look like?
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: One to ten. Young, solid, young. This is single Carl numbers,
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: not married rating. This is single rating.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: What's the difference between single numbers?
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: When I was married, it would be very easy for
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: you to get in the sevens and the eights because
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: I was living with a demon.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay. So anything. Like if you.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: Said hi to me, you're already batting five. You're at
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: a solid five.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: And you were missing a two for two?
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: You would still give a high number?
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, even a two is like if I'm like, oh,
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: she has nice ears.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, all right.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Let's bring her up to seven.
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Let's take her up there.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: So what's her number as single Carl?
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Seven and a half.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Wow, really?
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Seven and a half.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: Seven and a half. All right.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, a solid seven and a half.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: And young.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: How much younger than you?
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: A lot. To quote Mike Glover, a lot. A lot?
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: I would say.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: You're not in the creepy zone, are you?
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: No, no. She's in her late 20s.
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: It's not bad. There you go. Not bad. All right.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: So here's where things get weird.
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: So.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: Did you hang at the bar for a while?
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Not even close.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: Wait, she saw who you were on the TV and
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: you guys were out the door?
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: I finished the shot. Yeah. And it was funny. So
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: we exchanged like phone numbers and stuff. I don't know
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: how that happened, but it happened very quick. It was
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: moving at a very fast pace.
• 5:01
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Even for me.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: And as soon as I gave her my number, she says,
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: she's like, I thought it was sending me like a
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: test text.
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: You know, like, oh, this is me. It says, let's
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: get out of here. No. And I'm like, all right.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: Just like that?
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Just like that.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: .
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: .
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: I'm like, but we're done.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: Was little Carl thinking to himself, ah, man, I didn't
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: even get to take.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: My Viagra yet. Exactly.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: Ah, man, where's my blue chew at?
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Where's my gun?
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: God damn, I hope this thing works without a thick pill.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Thank God I had two blue chews taped to my neck.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: My emergency blue chew.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: You're like a Navy SEAL.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: I'm like a Navy SEAL with a cyanide pill. I
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: got caught. Let's go.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: Don't worry, little fella. I just took some blue chew.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: We'll be all right before we get to the creepy cabin.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Really?
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: So you guys are out of there.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: So that was it. And then fast forward next day.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: Next day.
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: What do you mean fast forward next day?
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: Give us some fucking details.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: On the action. I'm 43. I was holding on for
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: dear life.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: Were you really?
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 6:12
  Speaker 7: I was in the ropes.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: I was bloodied.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: You were playing some of that rope-a-do.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: Hang in there, little girl.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Like at the bar, I looked like Buster Douglas against Tyson.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: Then after the bar, I was Buster Douglas after Tyson.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: Just getting knocked out first round everywhere.
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: Little Carl, you hang in there.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: My little guy was like, dude, this was too fast.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: There was no prep time. He complained the whole fucking time.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: No kidding.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, I spat and sputtered the whole way through.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Did Little Carl want to take a knee?
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: He took two knees.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: And then threw up everywhere.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, he threw up everywhere. He got vertigo and threw up.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Threw up after one pump.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, I wish.
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: How many pumps?
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: First one, I lost on entry.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: You lost on entry?
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: On entry. On entry.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: Boom.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Everyone off.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Like a letter bomb. Hey, who sent me this?
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: Boom.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Everybody's there.
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: Just like that.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: It was too much.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: What was too much about it?
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: I was too in the zone. Everything was too good,
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: too right, too fast. Really? I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: Was the four play good?
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Well, that's what got me in trouble.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm thinking.
• 7:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: Oh, shit.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: It was pretty crazy shit in your ear.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: So did she laugh at you? Oh, everybody was laughing. No,
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: I mean back in the cabin.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: My forefathers were laughing.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: Everybody was laughing.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: I was laughing. She was laughing. I'm funny. I can
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: take a joke. Oh, my God.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Not the best. Not my best showing.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: So what happened?
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Well, you redeem yourself. You know what I mean? Right.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: You get back on that horse.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah. What, an hour or so?
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: A little bit more than that. I'm not going to lie.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: I'm not quick from the get-up anymore.
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: She's just watching the clock on the wall, whistling, twirling
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: her hair like, how much longer do we have to
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: wait before little Carl is ready to go again?
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: If I could have broke out of board game, I
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: would have.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Hey, you want to play some Parcheesi?
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Dude, we could have had like three solid games of
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Connect Four.
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: We could have done it.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: And you don't have a TV on that one. Dude,
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: it's just me and her.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Staring at each other. I'm out of gas.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: You have nothing to talk to her about because she's
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: way too young?
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Nothing.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: So you have nothing in common? Oh, that's great.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, and I don't even.
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: I can't judge her music by her age.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: I'm like, so, like, you like, like, Limp Bizkit?
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: Like, I've looked at... Even that band's, like, 25 years old.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know. She had black nail polish. I figured
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: she liked it.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: What the hell is that?
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: You should have told her to go take a walk
• 8:40
  Speaker 5: in the woods.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, she would have got mauled if there was noises
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: out there.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's funny.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Unbelievable. So, wait.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: No, I'm waiting.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, God.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: That's not the best part?
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: No, it's not.
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: Really?
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: That's not the awkward part. Imagine that. Okay. Um... Because,
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: you know, you redeem yourself. You get back in there.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: You get back in the game.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: I'm a professional. You know what I mean? I'm a
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: marathon runner. I'll get there.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: All right. All right.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: You know, no photo finishes here, but I'll get there.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: So next day, my buddy calls me. He says, there's
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: a sale down at this little restaurant that we like
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: that you get there before 4 o'clock and there's $ 2
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: off the salad bar.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: I'm like, sign me up, bro.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: So I tell the chick, I say, yeah, you want
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: to go hit the salad bar? She's like, fuck yeah. Right.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: We're leaving town? Hell yeah.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: Did you really have to say that? Because you know
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: the haters are going to go.
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: See, I told you the podcast isn't doing well.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Carl just saved $ 2 on a salad bar.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: I think I bought a gold pony in Miami.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: There you go. Oh, that's why. Yeah, that's why. It
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: has nothing to do with the podcast. It's all my
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: bad decisions. Oh, wow, really? You had to pull back
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: way back after Miami.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: I checked my bank account, and I said, was I robbed? Oh,
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: my God. It was one of those weekends.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: You're nuts, dude. You just go all in, huh?
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I go all in. I go all in. I'm going
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: to die first, bro. My funeral's going to be packed.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Everyone's going to be alive except me. It's going to
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: be busy. Fuck that. I don't want no dead-ass funeral.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: They're going to have to open the partition for you.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's going to– because I'm the only one that's
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: going to go.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: So everyone from my high school friends to my elementary
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: school friends.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: Carl had a lot of friends.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: No, he's– Like I'm going to die before my first pet.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: Oh, I got an update on the pets.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, wait, wait.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: Let me just– I know. But remind me.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 10:34
  Speaker 5: Because we talked about the hamsters on a podcast a
• 10:38
  Speaker 5: few back. Oh, boy.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: All right. Go ahead. All right. So– She says to me, well,
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: I've got to go change my pants, right? I said,
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: all right. Let's go to your house. So driving towards
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: her house, all of a sudden, fire trucks everywhere. Everywhere.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: Outside her house?
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: Outside her– like before I get to her house. So
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: at the end of the street– and these are long
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: country streets, right? So we get out. We start walking
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: towards the trucks. She's in like full-blown night gear. I'm
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: in like pajamas and sneakers.
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: And remember, I did an event for all the firefighters.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: So there they all are. And they're just staring at me.
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: And I have to walk literally a quarter mile down
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: this thing. And people are giving me like the wink
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: and the salute. And I'm just walking down with this girl.
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: And it's like four towns responded to the house across
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: the street burnt down. So every cop, everybody's there. And
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: it's just me and her walking down. The middle of
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: the road.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: That's beautiful.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: While the fire department's like, excuse me, like moving hoses
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: and shit. It was so awkward.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: You go, Carl!
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: It was like an officer and a gentleman moment.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, except nobody looked like Richard Gere in the fucking place.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: So were they all snickering and laughing at you?
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: The next day, you know, like you get the little,
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: like the chief of police, I mean the chief of
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: the fire department, I'm having a beer with him.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: He goes, you've been busy. Yep.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Yes, I have, sir.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: The whole place is run amok.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, but if she's good looking, that's not bad.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: I don't care. Yeah.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: So what? Then you brought her back there so she
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: could get changed?
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: So you hung out with her the next day.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: Nice.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I had to redeem myself. I made a mess
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: of myself the next day. You got to put in
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: that extra time.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: Well, I figure the second time around, you did all right. Yeah,
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: the second time around. Came back strong, no?
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: I came back strong. We did all right.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: Very good. I need headphone volume on this thing.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: Mike says it's okay.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: No, I think I broke this already.
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: Oh, no.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: The headphone jack. I cannot get volume on this.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Turn that volume all the way up. Hey, hey.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: Okay. There you go. All right. Now I can hear
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: you better, Carl.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: Well, you got those radio ears, man. Your ears like.
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: Oh, no.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: My ears are fucking dead.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: You know how bad headphones are for you? And that's
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: like your career.
• 12:46
  Speaker 5: I know.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: For a long time too, man.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: It's literally like you were smoking cigarettes out of your ears.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Like that's how bad it is.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: And I see my relatives talking.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, do you?
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: I see him talking. Like, he can't hear us, can he?
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're a body language master. Yeah, yeah.
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: Like, you know, you can tell, like, when I walk in,
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: you're one of the few people, like, I'll walk in
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: and you'll see me like.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Cubes, what's the matter?
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: I studied this shit.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: You know. So, anyway. You know when someone's bullshit.
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: Good to see Carl, though, man. Yeah, we're podcasting from
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: Westwood One. We're waiting for Jim Florentine to show up.
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: We're going to talk to him for a little while
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: today as well. That's going to be awesome.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm excited. And I met you at the McDonald's
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: downstairs here in Times Square.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: Too much music, though.
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: Too much music. I wanted a podcast from there. It's
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: like three levels. The place is gorgeous inside.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: It's really nice.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: We should have a nice lunch there.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: A nice lunch at McDonald's. Is that possible?
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: What are you talking about? They make the quarter pounder
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: with cheese. It's fresh now. It's delicious.
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: Nah, McDonald's is just like road food. I don't think
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: you put the label, let's get a nice lunch at McDonald's.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: You sound like those dopes on Twitter.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: What do you mean?
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: I'm just– you know what's starting to bother me on Twitter? Twitter.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Twitter. Mike, wrap it up. It's exhausting, man.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: You can't edit one harder than that.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: I didn't realize how many miserable people there are on Twitter.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: It's unbelievable.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: Or are in the world actually.
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: What happens to all these people before they can lash
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: out at strangers like this?
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: It's unbelievable.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: They just kept it to themselves? What did they do
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: before the social media?
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Yell at their mother.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: That was it?
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's where they lived with her.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: And yell at a wall?
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: Or you know what? These were letter-writing campaign people before this,
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: I bet. You think? Oh, yeah.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: Like Twitter's like a big letter-writing campaign.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: What can I complain about today?
• 14:39
  Speaker 6: I am outraged today about, insert outrage.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: It's just awful.
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: I'm just going to be really nasty to this person
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: I've never met in my life before.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have to find his whole life one tweet.
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Like this guy goes, keep hanging with Opie. But instead
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: of writing loser, he wrote looser. Oh, really? Yeah. So
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: I just posted it up.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: How would you be a loser hanging out with me?
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: Even if you hate my guts, you can't deny the
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: fine career I had.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: But this is what Twitter does. Yeah. It made someone
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: like you actually have that conversation. That's what's frustrating about Twitter. Yeah.
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: Like I can relate on the food thing. I put
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: a video of basting a steak with butter.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: I saw that, yes.
• 15:24
  Speaker 8: And someone's like, that's way too much butter.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: How many A's? 64 A's.
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: That was way too much butter.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: I'm like... Where have you done this? Where do you work?
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: Where's your restaurant?
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: What do you even, it's the first time you've seen
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: it and you already have it mapped out.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: Well, I think you just nailed it, by the way.
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: First of all, I mean, how bored are you in
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: your life that you have to write way with 64.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: A's and make fun of that?
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: It was almost like a Trump double tweet.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: It's just a throwaway.
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: On Twitter and Instagram and Facebook, you just do a
• 16:02
  Speaker 5: bunch of throwaways.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: Like, hey, I'm here. Check it out. Whatever.
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: And then they have to take that and just beat
• 16:09
  Speaker 5: the shit out of you.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: It's amazing to me. I've never seen anything like it.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: But you nailed it.
• 16:13
  Speaker 5: Because I think most people that attack are people that
• 16:16
  Speaker 5: probably wanted to do what they're attacking. But never had
• 16:21
  Speaker 5: the balls to step out and try it. Right. I
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: don't even think these people... tried it and failed. I
• 16:28
  Speaker 5: don't think they ever even started. And it drives them
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: nuts that I'm doing something they wanted to do. You're
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: doing something that a lot of people want to do.
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: And it drives them insane inside. I'm convinced that's part
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: of it anyway.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: I think it has to be.
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: It has to be because, I mean, out of all
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: the trolls that troll you, I know very few that
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: have actually been on the radio.
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: No.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Or I've had a long career like you have.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't know.
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: Right?
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: You wouldn't know.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: You could say whatever. You could be whoever.
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: I love, did you hear what so-and-so said about you today?
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: He really gave you a beating. And I write him
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: back like, yeah, no. I don't click on stuff. Sorry.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: I know my place in this business. I know my
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: place in life.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: Have fun.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: No, I know.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: I rarely click on stuff.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: I rarely do it.
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: When people tell you that, a lot of the times
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: what I do, like if I follow it on my side,
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: like if someone sends you that tweet, I see it.
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: And then I go listen to what it is. Yeah.
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: Like.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: Dude, Jim Norton killed you, bro. And then I go
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: listen to it.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: And this is the whole thing.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Jim Norton's like, yeah, yeah, Opie. That was it. Like
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: he just said your name. And that's enough to send
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: a million people into a frenzy. It's just like kicking
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: a wasp hornet's nest. Whatever. It's just silly, man.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: It is silly.
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: But it's starting to get to like– I think it's
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: starting to get into– I took the two-week break off
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: of Twitter because I.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: Lost my phone. It's nice, right?
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: I felt I was a better person. Like, I'm already, like, angry.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: I'm already subtweeting shit that I don't like. This is ridiculous.
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: The problem is you get right back into it.
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, right?
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: It's addictive.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: I'm putting my phone down more.
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: I got a ways to go because I really want to, like,
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: put it down way more.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 18:08
  Speaker 5: And I'm using, like, my Twitter just to, you know,
• 18:10
  Speaker 5: push our podcast as much as I can with little
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: clips and this and that and really trying to focus
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: on the people that are supportive of the new podcast,
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: you know, but. And the people that are just obsessed
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: with the past, I don't know what to tell those
• 18:23
  Speaker 5: people anymore.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: I just don't know what to tell them.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: I think Twitter has a problem. It has a content desert, right?
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: So what is it, 5%, 20%?
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: Maybe let's say 10% of Twitter actually puts in fresh content, ideas, jokes, comments.
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: And then the rest of the Twitter sphere– is people
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: hating that.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no matter what.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: Right, no matter what.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Even if it's good.
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: So it's just, it's like throwing something into a wood chipper.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: It could be good or bad. It's going to get
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: fucked up no matter what you do.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: Look, I was guilty of that.
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: And I'm certainly not perfect, but when Twitter first started,
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: I was guilty of that shit.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: But you made content, though. You were a content provider.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: I certainly was trying. But what turned me.
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: I've always been the one that likes to swim against
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: the current.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: You think?
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: So when I saw that everyone else was doing the
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: exact same thing. Right.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: It didn't excite me anymore. And that's when I, I
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: moved on in general from that.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: Like there's nothing like if you could, I could.
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: Turn on Twitter right now and see 10 to 30
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: people saying the same, you know, garbage, nothing original, you know?
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: So that's when I kind of turned the corner. I
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: was like, ah, maybe I could use this Twitter for
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: something else.
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: So, so now you just, you troll the trolls. Like
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: you'll say shit. Like I'll see, I'll see you type shit.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, this guy's just stirring a fucking pot.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Like I can just see like, You're on the beach like, oh,
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: this will make him mad. And I'm just like, and
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: I'm just so, I'm like, I see it.
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: And it's in the middle of the day. I'm like,
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: this is going to be a long fucking day because
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: I'm connected to it. So then I'm like.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: He must have been bored today. And he's like, let
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: me fucking chum the water. And then it just, it's frothing.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: My Twitter is frothing all fucking day.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: And I know it doesn't bother you one bit.
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: And I'm like sending GIFs, fighting with people, and you're
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: just fucking casting away.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: You know what my favorite thing to do is?
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Like, you know, like the fruity beer? Yeah.
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: I mean, I don't even, at this point, I don't
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: know if you even like them.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: Like, I would like to get, I bet you if
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: I go into your fridge, it's just.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: A bunch of Miller Lite. You know what I mean?
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: But you're like.
• 20:31
  Speaker 8: You go to the store, you're like, give me the fruitiest, gayest,
• 20:36
  Speaker 8: pink unicorn beer, and I'm going to post the shit
• 20:41
  Speaker 8: out of it.
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: Because every time I'm with you, Mike, right?
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: He's drinking bourbon and shit.
• 20:46
  Speaker 8: Shut up.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: Don't give it away.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: And he's like a mooch bourbon drinker. He's like, let
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: me take a smell of that.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: I'm like, smell it.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: Let me take a sip of that.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: I'd buy my own bourbon.
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: No, but you don't order first because I always order
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: a Boilermaker. So you'll see what I'm doing, what I'm
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: up to. I'm like, wait a second, bro. I'm hanging
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: out with this guy after the show. in this city
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: like six times, and he's always had a normal.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: Beer and a shot of bourbon.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: This asshole's making everybody nuts.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: I'll be honest.
• 21:20
  Speaker 5: I tasted that Schaffenhofer, I think they call it, grapefruit beer.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: But it's more like a grapefruit soda.
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: And, you know, I talked about it on the old
• 21:29
  Speaker 5: radio show, so the fine people from that company decided
• 21:32
  Speaker 5: to give me cases of it. Like I was set
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: for a whole summer. I was set for the whole summer.
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: And then that led to trying out more grapefruit beers, okay?
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: The fact is, I like a fruity beer every once
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: in a while, but I really am moving back to
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: just what Matt from Gephardt's calls grandpa beers.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Grandpa beers. I'm with you 100%.
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: I don't like IPAs in general.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: I had an IPA talk the other day.
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: I like Japanese beers. I like Chinese beers. That one
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: Chinese beer you turned me on to, I found that recently.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: I was so excited.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: It's good, right?
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: I couldn't pronounce it.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Who cares?
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: I just made an airplane noise, and they brought it
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: to me.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: Give me one of those.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. It's just so fucking funny. It's so funny.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: And I'll see the post.
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: It's like, I look at it and it's like a,
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: blueberry honeysuckle beard it's got like Christmas lights and a
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: wreath on it and you're like delish I'm.
• 22:29
  Speaker 7: Like this guy just fucked my Twitter for a whole
• 22:32
  Speaker 7: day and I know you just put your phone down
• 22:36
  Speaker 7: and you kick your fucking sandals off on the beach
• 22:39
  Speaker 7: and cast away meanwhile I'm out.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: There shut up leave him alone.
• 22:44
  Speaker 5: Now that I'm moving more and more away from Twitter
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: in general, I don't care that I've given away some
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: of my secrets, but I will use words like delish
• 22:50
  Speaker 5: and stuff on purpose.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: And then when they write me back like, delish, you're
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: a fig or.
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: Whatever, I'm like. You're a K? I'm a K.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: And now these idiots to.
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: Try to get me back they'll write k to me
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: like it doesn't work that way this is my thing.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: You only get hit with the k once i established.
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: The the k in our world a long time ago
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: it's my thing so if i say some long drawn
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: out thing about the podcast and you write back k
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: it doesn't work you idiot my favorite thing to do
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: yes mikey no I'm reading a text now because that's
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: way more important than podcasting with Carl.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: No, it's not about timing and rhythm.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: I wasn't fair. I was holding back.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: No worries. Yeah. We got Jim Florentine. He's going to
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: be on in.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: A few minutes.
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: This is my favorite thing to do to wrap up
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: this Twitter thing.
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: So– I got to officially say this because I have
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: on Twitter, I don't have a horse in the race,
• 23:57
  Speaker 5: politically speaking.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: I do not. But Trump is so much fun to
• 24:02
  Speaker 5: make fun of. On a daily basis, there's something that
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: you can find funny about Trump, the stuff he says,
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: the stuff he does.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: And as someone that likes to try to be funny,
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: it's perfect.
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: Right. Some of it lands, some of it doesn't. But
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: what drives me nuts in this world is if you're
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: a Trump supporter, you no longer can laugh.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: At Trump shit. I don't know.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: It goes both ways.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: No, you're 100% right. And I do want to say that.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: You're right.
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: Thank you for mentioning that because I would have had
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: to deal with that after this podcast.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: 100% right.
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: If you like someone politically, you will not laugh at
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: a joke about that person.
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: And I don't know where that started.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Listen, the day you stopped laughing... about politics, you're fucked. Right. Like,
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I have a problem on both sides.
• 24:48
  Speaker 6: Right?
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I don't understand why anyone can't look at him on
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: a case-by-case basis. There's some things he did that are right.
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: Sure.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: There's some things he does that are completely asinine.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: But the camps are so polarized... The right wing is like,
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: everything he does is perfect. He's a genius. Relax.
• 25:05
  Speaker 9: Right.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: And then the other side is like, he's Hitler. Right.
• 25:07
  Speaker 7: Relax.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: You're 100% right.
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: We're wasting so much time by fighting each other and
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: not finding the middle ground that we could actually get
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: some real change done in this country. Right.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: But let me tell you something.
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: Meanwhile, the left is calling him Hitler, blaming hurricanes on
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: him and saying whatever they want to say about him.
• 25:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: The right is saying he's the next messiah.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: And he just appointed 60 federal judges.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: You can't see that on the news. We don't even know,
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: let alone Supreme Court. He's on his second guy.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: I know he is.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: So while all.
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: These people are freaking out, there is massive legislation running
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: through the river of Washington.
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: And there's deregulation going on at an enormous rate.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: You know, the EPA is literally now they high-five you.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: You're dumping ink?
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: High-five! Look at those blue fish. Really cool. Trump's America.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: Make the fish blue again. You know what I mean?
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: So it's just like– but you can't get news.
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: Because everyone is just outraged about everything every five minutes.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: The right is like, Obama ruined the country. Well, that's
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: not true because we're still here. And Trump is Hitler. Well,
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: that's not true because you shouldn't control. There's no thing
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: to compare to Hitler.
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: No, it's an all or nothing attitude. It's so dumb.
• 26:26
  Speaker 5: And it's detrimental to the country. Yeah.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: Simple as that.
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: So I don't know. But anyway, I don't have a
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: horse in the race. I despised Hillary. I thought Trump
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: was fun when he was campaigning. And then when I realized,
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: holy fuck, he might be the guy. I'm not going
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: to lie to you. I got a little scared. I
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: changed my.
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: Tune on him. But I mean, if you needed to know,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: I liked John Kasich.
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: And I liked Joe Biden.
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: See what I'm talking about here?
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: Like, I don't have a horse in the race. And
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: I don't believe that the country is going to be
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: better off.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: If the Democrats were in office right now.
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: And I don't believe that we're better off because Trump
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: and the Republicans are controlling the action.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: It's so shitty up there in D.C.
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: I mean, I've had the opportunity to be there a
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: lot and cook at a lot of state things and
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: federal things.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: The bureaucracy. There's nothing one person can do.
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: I mean, I firmly believe that the founding fathers wanted
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: this kind of chaos so that nothing actually breaks.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: And that's what's happening now. It's a big show.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: It's a waste of time.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: It's what a waste of time.
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: And then you got the senators and the congressmen and
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: the media.
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: You hear what Trump said today? Let's spend the next
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: eight hours on that. Oh, shit. Jim Florentine walking in
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: with all his Nike gear. Wow, he's got Nike gear
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: from head to toe.
• 27:50
  Speaker 9: Look, I got a couple of cop friends that said, look, man,
• 27:53
  Speaker 9: can you do me a favor and not wear the Nike?
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: They go, if people were attacking.
• 27:57
  Speaker 9: Comics and saying, you know, because basically that's what they're doing.
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 28:01
  Speaker 9: If you told me not to wear whatever, I wouldn't
• 28:03
  Speaker 9: wear it. If you told me as a comic, it's like, okay, fine.
• 28:06
  Speaker 9: I'll just buy something. I never bought Nike to begin with.
• 28:08
  Speaker 9: I never bought a Nike.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: I don't wear Nike. I think Nike sneakers are unbelievably uncomfortable.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: Did you see– was it your picture? The cook in–
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: was that yours?
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's mine.
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: So the picture was about something else, but basically it
• 28:23
  Speaker 5: showed one of the cooks in a kitchen and he
• 28:27
  Speaker 5: was wearing Nikes and he had masking tape over the
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: logo and he wrote Adidas.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: Because you can't afford new sneakers? Oh, that's right. Isn't
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: that picture great? That's right.
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: But anyway, Florentine just walked in, but I want to
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: finish my point about the whole fucking with people on
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: Twitter and stuff. Over the summer, especially when I was
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: fishing and enjoying life and my family.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: What's up?
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: He's racist.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Do you know that? Yeah, why doesn't he get water?
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: He's fucking racist.
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: Me and Florentine got the water.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: The white people first.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: Man, he keeps interrupting the flow.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: Of this Mikey guy. You really know how to pick
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: these producers, bro.
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: So, to finish your point, fishing, enjoying life, enjoying my kids,
• 29:11
  Speaker 5: enjoying my wife and family and friends. You know, Trump
• 29:15
  Speaker 5: will do something, right, or whatever, and I'll just send
• 29:17
  Speaker 5: out a Trump tweet, and then I'll just go like this.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: I'll put my phone down.
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: And I'll walk out of the house and I'll fish
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: for the next six hours and I'll check my Twitter
• 29:25
  Speaker 5: literally six to eight hours later to see.
• 29:28
  Speaker 6: The firestorm that I created. Everyone's fighting with each other.
• 29:32
  Speaker 6: And then you'll tweet back K. And then I have
• 29:35
  Speaker 6: to deal with that shit all day because they at me, bro.
• 29:38
  Speaker 6: Because they know I'm the.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: One that tells you.
• 29:39
  Speaker 5: But I'll purposely tweet something controversial about Trump for or against.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: Mostly against, to be honest with you. And then I'll
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: just put my phone.
• 29:47
  Speaker 5: Down and walk away and just.
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: Start a huge pile up on the.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Old through end.
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: Trump is like Hitler. I just walk away from you.
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: You're just a child. You don't have a real conversation.
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: With that, we say hi to Jim Florentine. What's going on, man?