Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.89 | Deeper Than Your Enneagram Type: The Layers You’re (Probably) Missing w/ Hillarie Kay, Corporate Coach & Speaker

Transcript

Ep.89 | Deeper Than Your Enneagram Type: The Layers You’re (Probably) Missing w/ Hillarie Kay, Corporate Coach & Speaker · Curiously Guided Podcast

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_03: We're your hosts, Mariah and Jay.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_03: Two online business strategists passionate about rewriting the rules to success within both life and business.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: This podcast started because we both felt frustrated by the lack of deep, meaningful, and transparent conversations around what it takes to actually run a business that we both feel good about.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: So we decided to create that for ourselves.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_03: We want our solo episodes and guest interviews to be examples of how you too can chase your dreams and go down your own rabbit holes, ultimately leading to a more sustainable and fulfilling life.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: We believe that curiosity is our superpower.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: And trusting the nudge is a muscle that's meant to be strengthened.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: Especially if we want to create a lifestyle that feels good from the inside out.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: So are you ready to open your mind and let curiosity guide the way?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_03: Let's take this journey together.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: We're so glad you're here.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: Now let's dive in.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome back to the podcast, my friends.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_03: We have a really cool episode.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm I'm like laughing to myself here because before this conversation with Hillary, I thought I knew Enneagram.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm not saying like I've dove deep into Enneagram.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_03: Like I have like human design and astrology and all of those, but like I thought Enneagram was like kind of basic.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_03: I thought it was just like you find out your type and then you read some things on like Instagram about it, or like you download the free little freebie on like the Enneagram website thing, and then you read a couple paragraphs about your type, and like now you take it and run with it.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm not ashamed to admit that I have never been more wrong in my life, which like is funny to me.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like having Hillary on, like Hillary is just like a wealth of knowledge about this system.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that we brought the right person on because the way that she explains it really jives with the way that like me and Shay were trying to learn about it.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: And like I thought that Enneagram was literally just about your type.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: And like it's not, that's literally just the surface of it.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_03: And Hillary was absolutely blowing my mind about like the different ways that you can use this and integrate it and like the practical examples that we gave.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: I always love that when guests are like down to give me practical examples because like I really need to hear that stuff in order for it to integrate instead of like sit on just that layer of like knowledge-ish or like hearing something.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I really want to know about it.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I love this conversation so much that I actually booked a session with Hillary after this conversation and was like, yo, girl, you fucking blew my mind.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_03: And like to be honest, I was like an Enneagram, I don't want to say a hater, but like I was like not on the Enneagram terrain.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: I was like anything but Enneagram.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_03: And after this conversation, I was like, yo, give me the link, girl.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_03: So I do want to say that if you do, after listening to this episode or while you're listening to it, uh, if you do want to book a session with her, she mentions like at the end that the link to book a session might be or is in like her Instagram biome, but it actually might not be there.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't there when I went to look.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_03: So I made sure to grab it for myself and obviously for you too.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_03: So check the show notes.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: There's gonna be a link to book a session there with her.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe I'll follow up in like another solo interview and let you know how the session goes.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_03: But like this was super helpful because like I think that I figured out my type and I'm gonna get it validated in the session.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like extremely excited about it.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, if you want to go deeper into Enneagram, I just wanted to make a note here.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_03: Definitely book a session with her and like get more personable, not personable, but like more personal, individual information to help you kind of crack the code on this.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that was my big takeaway was uh you we'll share this.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: We were both kind of frustrated.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: What we thought we knew it, we'd done some things online.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, Hillary really explained that it's a very individualized system, and you kind of need someone who knows what they're talking about to help you diagnose yourself accurately and also kind of go deeper to where this actually is helpful.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what I really liked about Hillary is she is the perfect blend of human that we like to bring on this podcast where she has, you know, she's in the corporate world, she's working with leadership, she has this very grounded, down-to-earth understanding of this system and like how it needs to actually be used to be helpful for us.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's not fluffy, it's not BS, it's just like she has a really cool way of thinking about this and how it can help us all perform better and kind of be the best versions of ourselves.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um you like we've done in our past episodes with a topic, we're gonna work through the whole system.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: So we'll go through every single uh type and there's all these other things we'll get into.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: Mariah and I will share a little bit of just like how we're personally reacting in our own types, but I'm curious with you guys, you know, as you're going through it.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: Hopefully this gives you something to a little bit more to reflect on and think about what types resonates the most with you.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and let us know.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: Reach out to us if you have any big takeaways.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: Please reach out to Hilary.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: I think that her skill set is insane and like this system is insane, and uh, it's piqued my curiosity.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but with that, I don't want to give you guys too many spoilers.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna read Hillary's bio.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: Hilary Kaye is a coach, trainer, speaker, and author of the burnout recovery system.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: She works with high-achieving entrepreneurs and teams, helping them prevent burnout and increase engagement and performance through heart-centered strategy.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: She made significant contributions in the coaching and consulting space, serving clients ranging from tech startups to Fortune 100 industry giants.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: She is a wife, mom of two boys, stepmom to three boys, and a lover of all things 60s and 70s.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: Outside of work, you'll find her at her kids' games, concerts, or thrifting for vintage treasures.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, me too.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: All right, let's dive in.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, Hillary, thanks for joining us today.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we have mentioned the Enneagram uh thousands of times.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: We always have friends that are bringing up, bringing it up to us.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I feel like I've taken like 10 assessments.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: I've made my husband take them.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: I know Mariah and her partner have as well.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: And it's one of those things, as you guys know, we really love human design.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: We love astrology, we love all of these tools that kind of give us opportunities to reflect on what we're here to do and how things are working and aren't working so well.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: And Enneagram is one of those things that Mariah and I do not feel like pros about.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so we uh when you reached out to us, it felt like such a blessing.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like we had been waiting for you and like asking for you, and there you were.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so we're excited to have you on today and to kind of pick your brain about this area and how you use it with business owners.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: So thanks for joining us.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: I am pumped that I get to be get because I like Enneagram is what I eat, sleep, breathe.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so anytime I get an opportunity to talk about it, um, not just because it like revolutionized my life personally, but now how I've been using it professionally, like there's so many goodies in it that I feel like people like don't know about the Enneagram.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: They just think, oh yeah, it's a number.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's one of those for, but y'all, like it is deep.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you can, there's so many different tools um within the system itself.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm so excited to talk about it with you guys.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's awesome.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: Cool.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know there's so many systems out there, but this one in particular, like when I do get deep with it, my friend like had a book and we were kind of diving into all the layers of it.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: It really felt uh very spot on.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm excited to dive in and let's kind of just start with 101 or the basics.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_02: Do you mind telling us a bit about like the history of Enneagram, where it came from, what it is?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: So it is a personality system, and I don't call it a personality test because it's truly a system um that it's been around for hundreds and hundreds of years.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the first kind of the first time it was maybe seen, um, the symbol itself was seen in Aristotle's journals.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it wasn't like it wasn't named the Enneagram, it didn't have the nine types yet, it but it was the symbol itself and kind of that journey and that path.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so that was found in his in his journals.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: And it um it got really popular in the 1800s in South America, and it was really um developed in South America, but it wasn't brought to the United States.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it was kind of the it's I guess its main entrance into the United States was actually not until like the 1970s.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: And um, it got brought in and it was actually specifically at the beginning, used for businesses and how you can grow in business um and how you work together in a team and how and things like that.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then in the early 2000s, it kind of re-entered the the atmosphere in more of like the personal development realm.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: And um, and so the history is rich.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's there's tons of history around it.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: We we don't have exact dates for anything because just as like every other system, right, it grows, it morphs, it develops into what I feel like the the people who are using at the time need it to be, right?
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because we're evolving.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so because we as humans evolved, also the systems that um teach us how to be more of ourselves also need to evolve, you know, due to you know, different, different information that we have.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: So that's that's the background of the symbol and this at the tool itself.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but at the end of the day, it is, I know it falls into the personality test kind of sandbox, but I like to say the Enneagram doesn't play in the same sandbox as any other personality systems.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: I love them all, right?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: I love, I love human design.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: I love, um, I feel like it is maybe the closest to that.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but like Strength Finders, Myers, Briggs, all of those can tell us things about us, right?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: And but but what makes the Enneagram different is it's based on motivation.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: So it is literally your internal operating system and what motivates you for your internal operating system to work, right?
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's the I I think of the Enneagram as just like my iPhone's iOS.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram is my iOS, and I have to update and go through updates of my iOS and I use that framework.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so it really, yeah, it's based on motivation.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: So there's nine core types, but spoiler, there are like lots of different types under those nine core types.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I tell you, we can get real, real deep or real quick, um, but it's based on motivation.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: So it is how you see the world, not how the world sees you.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so it's it's it's it's really from the inside out how we use this tool.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I answered that completely.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: I probably went a lot of different ways.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, it's perfect.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I feel like if you didn't go a certain way that we wanted it to go, we would just ask you anyways.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um that no, that's really helpful.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_03: I'm glad that you went into the history of it.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_03: I actually had to Google like what the symbol was because like I had no idea that there was a symbol for it.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_03: And like that's cool that it started so long ago.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like each of these things have different purposes and like come into people's lives at the exact time that they're needed, giving them the exact medicine that they need, and they all play together really well.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_03: None of them are like identically the same.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um okay, so I have taken the Enneagram assessment numerous times.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: Here, I'm gonna be honest, here's my gripe with it.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_03: Here's my gripe with it.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: I hate the assessment too, PS.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_03: So to me, I'm like, I guess why I fall closer to human design and to astrology is because it's based on my birth time.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: There's nothing that I have to do.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_03: I don't have to like take an assessment.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_03: I literally just have to look at my birth certificate.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_03: Where I find that like the Enneagram, it's kind of dependent on my mood.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like I've taken it in different parts of my life, which is why it makes sense that you said that it's like how you're motivated, because like 17-year-old Mariah was not motivated the same as like today 32-year-old Mariah.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_03: And so it makes sense that I have different numbers.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: But I guess in our head, like we like things to become part of our identity.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: And so, like running around and being like, I am a number, blah, blah, blah.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: And then it's like, yeah, but you've done some healing, you've done some internal work, and like now you're showing up as like a different number.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: Can you talk about that?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_03: How like your numbers can change and like you're not always a certain number?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: So there was, there's nothing that I love to talk about more than how much I hate the Enneagram assessments online, um, because they're not accurate.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, at best, these assessments online are at 55% accurate at best.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and here's why: because exactly what you said, Mariah, the test doesn't know our cultural overlays, the test doesn't know our gender overlays, the test doesn't know if we're taking this in the happiest moment of our life or the most stressed out we've ever been in our life.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so, because of that, the it's not gathering all the information.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I highly recommend anyone who is really interested in using the Enneagram for growth, ditch the assessment and find an Enneagram practitioner who is certified in giving you an assessment.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: It is like a counseling session, like to get typed.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um the assessment itself is why I throw it out, is because the Enneagram is self-reported.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: I cannot tell you what your type is.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: I can give you my educated opinion based on the answers you're giving and our con and how the conversation flows, but the Enneagram is self-reported.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: And there is a myth that like your number, your type changes.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: Your type does not change because your type is created by it's really some people, there's lots of theories out there.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: There's some people that say you're born your type.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: There's some people that say you can't know your type until after puberty.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: But what your type is, when you when you learn what motivates you or what you're scared of, that's actually where I start because every type has a core fear and a core motivation.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: And our core motivation is developed from that core fear.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so your core fear develops with your first traumatic moment in your life.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: Whether that's uppercase teach trauma, lowercase teach trauma, I hate even saying that, but or like when it's when it's in utero, like serious trauma back then.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: No, seriously, no, because I actually feel like that's when mine did.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like a hundred percent.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: I can take it back because of stories that my mom has told me about what was happening during my when I was in utero.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like I do believe, and that's why I think like some people say, oh, like I was born my type.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, maybe you were, right?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and maybe other people didn't nail down that that type until like I I know when my um oldest biological son, like I know the day his type like kind of like imprinted on him.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I can then look back and like, oh my gosh, yep, that was his fear.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: And now I can see how he's motivated through the rest of his life.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so what's interesting with the Enneagram is your core fear and core motivation develop during that first traumatic time moment in your life, whether to your point if it's a utero or you might be 10, right?
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: It all depends on how that is.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: Generally, it happens before you're 13 or before before puberty.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: So now I can probably, I guess, say like 10 because I know it's happening earlier and earlier these days.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um but what happens is you have that core type that stays, but we are not just our type.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: If you remember, like I said, it's a system, right?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: And we move through the system.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: So we stay our type, but there are other types that we are connected to and move through within the system.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm happy to go through those if you want me to, what those types me or what those connection points are and what they mean, if that's good with you all.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um so Shade.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: Let me ask you a question.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: You said something earlier.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: I I think this is fascinating.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for breaking this down.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: You said it's not a test, it's a system.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so is that what you're kind of getting into right now?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: Is and is this like the triangle thing of like if I'm a six, then I like go through a three and a nine?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, take a suit on my arm.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think, oh, you can probably see it in the back too on on my screen, but it's yeah, it's the lines within the diagram.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: So we have, so I'll start with the two types that are on either side of you.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and these are called your wings.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: And these are, I think, yeah.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: Can we start with like the main types first, like type one, two, like super basic?
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like if you just give us an overview, and I know that there's nine, so like your mouth might be really dry by the end of you, like word vomiting what the fuck all of this is.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but I think that that would be really, really helpful to like start there because I feel like I don't really even understand the numbers.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah, we'll go one through nine, and I'll say the core fear and core motivation for each of the types, and then we can talk about how the system works.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's great, love it.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, okay, so we'll start with type one.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: So, type one, I so there's lots of names for these types.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it's another thing I hate about how it's this system has become modernized in a way that's like so stupid because as a culture, we like to put people in boxes, and that's not what I like for the system to do because it's literally it's not a box, it's a you know, a map.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but the type one you'll often see in mainstream, like if you're looking for at social media memes or you know, whatever, they'll often be um referred to as the perfectionist or the reformer um or the improver.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: The improver to me is is it seems the most accurate, it feels the most accurate.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but their core fear is to not be good or to be at fault.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so their core motivation is to, is to be good, is to improve, is to make things better.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: How can how can they make things better?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: How can they be the catalyst for making things better?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um so it's to to to heal that core wound, that core fear of not being good enough or being at fault.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, then we have the type two, and the type two is often known as the helper or the connector, and their core fear is to not be loved or not be wanted or needed.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so in order to get that for that fear not to happen, they're motivated by feeling like they're wanted, feeling like they're needed, feeling like they're being useful to someone just in order to make sure they're never not connected or never not valued by the people that they feel close to.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: Can I pop in here on number two?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: So I have a lot of friends who will tell me they're twos.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I've heard that a lot of women are kind of socialized to believe that they're twos.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so this is kind of where like I think maybe if you're only taking online assessments and it's always been a two and you're female, like there could be some kind of other programming going on there.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: A hundred percent.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I like.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's a religious overlay.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Often I find that women, like high power women who type as twos generally are mistyped, but it's because they have like religious trauma.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, that that tracks.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, interesting.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that that I can like, there's a whole thing of like if you've typed this on an assessment, actually check out these types if you're ex, you know, um to see to see what fits.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: So um, but that's a yeah, that's an excellent question, excellent call out.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, okay, next is the type three.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: This is my type.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the type three is often known as the achiever or the um performer.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they the core fear is failure um and not being respected.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so what motivates that is to what motivates someone who has the core fear of failure or not being respected is they want to make sure they, you know, they are motivated by how can I give you value?
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: How can I earn your respect?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: How can I be successful, right?
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's really that core motivation is to be successful and to be respected.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: And do you notice that all online entrepreneurs are calling themselves threes?
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I you saw so if you're just listening, you probably didn't notice the big eye roll that I have.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so funny to me.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody, yes, if they are like especially female entrepreneurs, they will type as threes or eights.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's it's absurd, and people are like, oh, I want to be a three, or I want to be an eight.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: And then you come and like, I'm like, no, you don't.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is not, this is how you think what you think it's like being this way.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: But that is how, again, that is maybe how they perceive themselves or how others have perceived them.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's not.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: How they are actually seeing the world.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's interesting.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's interesting because I find that like it's tough to see how like uh how you're perceived, how you perceive things.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like perception is a mind fuck.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_03: It is.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: And like sometimes, I don't know.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: I just remember growing up and like thinking that like people perceived me a certain way, and like, oh honey, I was not correct.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's just interesting to be able to like dive into this and like I'm laughing when you're saying all of this because like as you're saying them, I'm like, yeah, it could be that one.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_03: And then you go to the next one, I'm like, yep, could be me.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_03: And then you go to number three, and I'm like, yep, also could be.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_03: Can I be all of them?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_03: Can I be one, two, three?
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_03: And then I mean, who knows?
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_03: Who knows where we get with four, five, six, seven, eight, nine?
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like also those, all of those.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_03: All of those.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_03: Can I be one through nine?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_03: Aneagram?
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: No, and that's exactly right, right?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why assessments don't work.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it's why they're not accurate.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because I would dig in and be like, why do you feel that?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's dig into that.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how often do you think about being successful?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what do you see success as?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because people's definitions, and that'll be like different words that call out, oh, okay.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: So you see being successful being really connected to those around you.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: Mm, okay, heard.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what happens if you get ignored?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and like, so it's it's more of like how I said, it's like kind of a counseling session-ish, right?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like we're digging in to that.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: What is what is that thing?
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I I laugh at this sometimes, but it's sometimes like if you don't feel the sting, like you will eventually feel the sting of like, oh God, I hate that that's me.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be that.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to admit that's true, right?
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not that.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: I am this.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like that part of the Enneagram journey is kind of a little bit of denial.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like starts with like, no, um, that's not me, right?
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then you, or you're like, no, I want to be that, I want to be that, I want to be that, right?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: But it's at the end of the day, it is what is actually going on in here.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: A little bit of a disgust.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_02: Mariah always talks about like a good tell for her is when she's like kind of grossed out about something, and that's a good yep, 100%, 100%.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, go ahead.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, Hillary, I keep cutting you off.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: But number four, the individualist, this is great.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: So number four, um, they're often uh called the individualist or the original um or the creative.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: And their core fear is not um feeling significant and that no one understands them.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: And fours, in order, that core motivation to alleviate that fear is they are gonna be motivated by being unique, by standing out.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: And when I say standing out, it's not like, oh, look at me, look at me, look at me.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: It is sometimes it's actually the opposite per fours.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, I'm just gonna be just a little bit different here, just so I can hold my identity.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like their fear of that, like not people understanding them.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's like they fear that lack of identity and losing who they are.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so they're going to try to make their like individualist stamp on it.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, see, you can't, I can't lose my identity here because this is who I am.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: Look, I'm I'm a little bit different.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the type five is often known as the um observer.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, their core fear is not as being incapable and not having enough knowledge or not um being resourced.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: So their motivation is I'm gonna gather all these resources.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna make sure I'm resourced at all times and I'm gonna make sure that I'm knowledgeable and I'm gonna make sure that I am competent in everything.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so they are the gatherers of information.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's what makes them feel safe, right?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because when we are trying to combat our fear, we're trying to make our insights feel safe.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's how they feel safe is by gathering that information to help them feel resourced and knowledgeable.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_02: I learned a new word when I was learning about fives, that avarice.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: Have you?
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even know if I say it right.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: I had never heard that.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: And it's what you're saying, it's that feel I don't, I'm sure I have a wing of five or something, but like it was that ooh, but the avarice is the fear of not having what you need.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_02: Is that right?
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and so that really I had never heard of that or labeled that fear before, but that was something that like spoke me deeply.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, that was a I really um getting a like a layer deep in five was very interesting.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, yeah.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_02: The loyalists.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: So type six, often known as the loyalist, um, their core fear is feeling a lack of safety and security.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not just physical safety, but it's safety in relationships, right?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: Security in relationships, their job, their finances, their, it's just like that is that's what drives them.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they are the type of people who are gonna be able to look at a situation and tell you all the things that could go wrong very, very quickly, because that is how they have been trained to operate to make sure that they don't feel that lack of safety or security.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: So their core motivation is to be safe, secure, and supported.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's why they're known as the loyalists, because once they find that support system, they're not letting those babies go.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that and that support system might not even be people, right?
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: It might be like a job or it might be a tool or, you know, or a place to live, right?
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so they're doing everything they can to make sure they're safe, secure, and supported so they don't feel that lack of safety and security.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: Then we go to the type seven.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so the type seven, I joke around all the time that type fours and type sevens are the two types that like often um when people are trying to figure out their type, they're the type who are like, oh, I could be this, I could be this, I could be this, I could buy this, I could be this.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I see that a lot.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if you are those types, those those are some tells um when I'm doing typing interviews.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but the type seven is often known as the enthusiast.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and their core fear is feeling emotional or psychological pain.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so to avoid that, their core motivation is to um be optimistic, to be fun, um, to make sure that everything is on the up because they gotta ignore this stuff.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they're like the expert reframers.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's not a bad situation.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: What are you talking about?
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: We can do this over here, and we'll just kind of just like let this go over here.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so that's the that's type seven.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the type eight is known as the challenger.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Again, these are a lot you will see a lot of female entrepreneurs um say that they're eights.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, a good majority like say they're threes and they're eights, and a good majority of them are because they've they've they've done the things, right?
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: They're they are definitely led by their motivation.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but the eight is often known as the challenger, and their core fear is to be perceived as weak or incapable.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so their core motivation is to be strong, to um be uh in control of their environment.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so they're they're definitely more of like, how can I control this situation?
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because I don't want someone to catch me, you know, not knowing what I'm doing or or not being perceived, you know, being perceived as weak.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm not I'm not able to do this.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so they often put on their coping mechanism.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: That motivation is a, I'm gonna put on this body armor and I'm gonna challenge you because I'm just going to make, I'm gonna put so much resistance and you're not gonna be able to get into me.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: You're not gonna be able to see inside this, um, you know, like see behind my facade of this strong exterior.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then lastly, we have the type nine.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: The type nine is often referred to as the peacemaker or the mediator, and their core fear is to uh is conflict, is is like that everything is not stable.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's the lack of stability, it's the you know, not um people not understanding them.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um they really want to keep the peace.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so they are motivated, their core motivation is to be at peace, right?
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: To to make to they they often have a very calm presence because they're like they're they they're bringing up, they like to listen to everybody's ideas and bring them, you know, together.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and to make sure everyone's on the same page.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: So their fear is is right, like I don't want to be, I don't want to be the cause of any issue.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I'm gonna do everything I can to avoid being the cause of the issue.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: So that's a quick and dirty rundown of the the nine types and the core motivations and core fears.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I can get into more of how those numbers play off of each other.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if you guys don't have any questions on any of that.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we'll give you a little bit of a break talking-wise.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_02: That was so good.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I love things that are efficient and concise, but like still get the important points through.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_02: And that was such a good rundown while you're taking a rest.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_02: Mariah, what I'm curious, what are your numbers that you've heard, or what do you identify with now that she went through that?
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it's funny because I feel like I'm watching your facial expressions and then you're watching mine, and we seem to be pulled to opposite numbers.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like she'll be like, oh, the nine, and I'm like, no.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_03: And Shay's like, maybe, maybe a nine.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, absolutely not.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not a fucking nine.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and so it's no, you're not.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: I can tell that by two seconds of talking to you.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm not a nine dog.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_03: Um no, it's funny when you said I think maybe like a four or a seven.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe financial guesses.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_03: Uh and I feel like what's the nail in the coffin for that is you were like, yeah, the four or the seven is listening to most of these and being like, that could be me.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, yeah, one could be me.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_03: Two, probably not me.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_03: Three could be me, four could be me.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe, maybe a little five, maybe, maybe a little seven.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_03: You got a little five, you got a little five.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_03: A little five, a little six, a little seven.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_03: I say no to the eight or nine, but it's interesting because when I took the assessment when I was like 17, I came up eight.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's interesting to me because that was just a mask I was wearing.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_03: Do you know what I mean?
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's just I was like pretending.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_03: I like to pretend to be like really tough when I speak, and like I'm a fucking wuss.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um, don't come near me with that.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to challenge you actually, like at all.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I think that it's interesting, just like sitting with these.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like I would want to know deeper, like beyond the assessment, because now I'm curious.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_03: But like, I think I took the assessment last year and I was like, yeah, I'm a three.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like it came back three.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, yeah, tracks, lol, so successful.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_03: Like then now listening to all of them, I'm like, dude, there's so much more depth here.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how annoying of me.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like three lol.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: But but you're not like you are.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: I love that we're talking about this.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: So because that is that's exactly what happens.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I'm like, you can't just use this to put a label on you.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like just to be like, yeah, I've done the Enneagram on type free.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: Ha ha.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_03: But I want to.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_03: I want a label.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_03: I'm over here, like my identity, put me in a box for 10 minutes.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_03: Put me in a box, and then I'll be annoyed at the box.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_03: But like for now, give me a box.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: And to that I say, tough shit.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you can't have a box.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and we'll get into how come you can't have a box here in a little bit.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: But Shay, like, I'm curious what like what are your, what are you thinking you are?
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_01: But I totally, I Mariah, I am in my very short amount of time like going back and forth with you.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: Four and seven were my two, like, okay, I think I I that that's kind of where I, you know, am curious to dive deeper in with you.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: But Shay, like, where do you feel like you're at?
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_02: Well, one thing I love about these systems is like all nine together is the full human experience, right?
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: So of course all nine types within us.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, of course we relate and resonate with different pieces.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because we've lived all of this, but we have one.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_02: As you were going through it, I was kind of paying attention to my kind of gut reaction about like, ooh, what I would not like people to know about me.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I think I'm a hard six.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like I um I've always tested in between like five or six, and then five, but everything I feel like a little uncomfortable about.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: But then when you were talking about six, I was like, like, really, that was hitting home.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I um I don't, and then I've heard that triangle thing before.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_02: I had a friend say to me, like, if I'm in my healthy six, I may look more like a three.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_02: And if I'm in my unhealthy six, it may look more like a nine.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I definitely noticed, like, if I'm not in a healthy place, I can go to that like people, pleaser, peace, a peas.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: And so I don't know if that's accurate information, but as I was thinking about that as you were talking, and I was like, oh yeah, like that six is the anchor, maybe a wig five, but then the three and the nine, there's some connection there too.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, that's a that is a perfect segue to talking about the five connection points that you have.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so, first and foremost, like I love that you called out like the nine types are the human experience.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's a hundred percent.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: I love how you said that because we do have all nine types with us within us, just at different percentages, but there is that one that sticks out, and that is what all your other connection points will feed off of.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you and sometimes honestly, I'm able to type people based off their stress response because sometimes it's easier to know what we're like when we're really stressed than what we're like when we're at like a level, a good, healthy space, right?
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so the let's talk about the triangle.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: So you have your primary, like first thing you need to do is figure out your core type.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: I call it your core type because that's kind of which everything kind of um in that, in that system, um, kind of the the arrows and the lines go out of.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's your like home base.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then you have two lines within the system that go in and out of your type, and they point to two other types on the diagram.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: And those are called our resource points.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm happy to go through the resource points really quickly of every type too.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but your resource points are you will start looking more like the high side of your resource points when you are in a growth cycle.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: But you will start to look like the low side of your resource points when you are in a burnout cycle.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so these tell us, these are, these are honestly the resource points are one of the key components to any coaching.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: When I'm coaching business owners or coaching teams, it's like we need to learn how to use the resource points and learn to use them as signs and alarm bells.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I the they're the the high side and low side behaviors of your resource points become your alarm bells.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: Either become your like bells, like, yay, you're doing a good job, or you're like something's gotta change.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so those those are really the key to helping you use the Enneagram for growth because you can develop your own unique growth cycle and your own unique um burnout cycle by looking about how those high-side characteristics and low side characteristics show up in your life because those are your repeated patterns, whether they're for good or evil, they're your repeated patterns.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_01: So we look, I look at those a lot with um business owners and teams is to see to see the health of the person or the team.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then in addition to the triangle, you have the types on either side of you.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_01: And these are called your wings.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I like there's like people on the internet will say, oh, I'm a three-wing two or I'm a three-wing four.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's bullshit.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: No, you might just lean heavier on your on that wing.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: Your type is your type.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's no, there's no wing business.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: It just means you might lean heavier on that.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: But just like a bird needs two wings to fly, right?
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like so a bird can get one from one place to another by just walking on its feet, right?
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be gross, it's gonna be like really slow.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it can, then it can get into the air if it has one wing, but it's going to like kind of like be a little topsy-turvy till it's gonna not be able to, you know, ride with the wind patterns.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: But if it has two wings, it can stabilize, right?
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so I look at your wings as your stabilizers.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_01: These are your like best friends.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you look at the characteristics, the high-side characteristics of these two wings on either side of you.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: And just like how, like, sometimes like you have like a friend who are like, I go to this friend when I need support in being more confident, or I go to this friend when I just need someone to listen to me, right?
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so you will learn about your friends on either side of you and what you can pick up to become more integrated and to become more stable.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so these five points that again, you have to find your core first.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: Then you will you will find your four other points on the diagram to help stabilize you in your growth cycle and get you out of a burnout cycle, mean B.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_01: Girl, I had no idea that it was this fucking deep.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and I have like there's literally like there's so much that we haven't even talked about.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we've just hit on one of the tools in the Enneagram toolbox.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's connection points.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: There is also what's called intelligence centers, and there's also what's called instinct stack.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like it shit gets deep.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's yeah, we we might need like uh a part two because my brain's on the wall.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_03: I just had no idea that it was this deep, but I feel like that's also kind of compared to like human design, for example, which is where my brain goes.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, and then you add in a layer of gene keys, and it's like your eyes are melting out of your head.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's over for you.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like you just need to marinate with shit little by little.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_03: But like, I'm really glad that we're having this conversation because I had no idea how deep it is.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_03: And then, like, of course, it's kind of like Instagram astrology, right?
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's kind of like, oh, super vague, super basic, which I feel like, you know, it's like little pops of dopamine.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, like, yeah, I'm not against the little pops of dopamine, unless they tend to add up and then I have no more dopamine left naturally.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_03: But it's like the Enneagram, I feel like social media, as with everything, it just like makes it super basic.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_03: That I thought the wings were like, that's just what it was.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_03: Like, that's what your wing was.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_03: But when you say that you have both of them and then it stabilizes you, like logically, I'm like, that makes so much sense.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm glad that Shay brought up that like we have all of these pieces inside of us because, like, I didn't even know that about it.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm learning so much.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's and we we need all nine types to function in society, right?
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine if there was a world full of threes and everyone just was striving for success.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like it would be a world war at all times, right?
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, who can who can be the best?
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: Who can win, right?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: But we need those, you know, nines in our lives where like threes need nines in our lives to be like cool your jets.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, let's just like stabilize, like we don't need to keep climbing the ladder, let's just like be content right here, right?
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so we do, we do need all nine types to to have a stable and healthy, healthy world for sure.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, one of the other, and I think this might be another mind blow moment for you.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_01: And like, what if I introduce another one of the tools?
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_01: But I did want to ask if you guys wanted me to talk like to tell the resource points for each of the types.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: So if anyone's listening, I mean I could go into that or I could go into like another, another tool, like another layer.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um that's yeah, if you don't mind just yeah, going through the resource points, I'd love to hear that.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so type one, the resource points for the type one are the type four and the type seven.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: So when a one is healthy, they are going to look like the high side of the one, four, and seven.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: When they are in a stress zone, they're gonna look like on the low side of the one, four, and seven.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_01: The type two's connection points are um a four and an eight.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_01: So when they are in the low side, they're gonna look like low side of four and eight, high side of when they're in a growth cycle, high side of four and eight.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: Three's connection points are type six and type nine.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_01: Four's connection points are type two and type one.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_01: Five's connection points are type seven in type eight.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: Six, six's connection points are type three and type nine.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, seven's connection points are um type one and type five.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: Eights connection points are type five and type two, and nine's connection points are type three and type six.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_03: So it's not like reverse.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like if my connection point is eight, eight's connection point might not be mine.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, some of them are like the three, six, nine, that's that's Yep, that that's always the same.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, not not all of the triangles are like that.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I can also that kind of goes into the next layer of the ideagram, if that works for y'all.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_03: Does the next layer go into like how I can take action on this?
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_03: Like how this helps essentially, just because like if I'm hearing all this information, like very helpful, cool.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_03: But I guess like my where my curiosity goes is less towards like more knowledge and more towards like application.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_03: Like what does this mean for me?
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_03: And like how do I get the juice?
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_03: Or like if I'm feeling, let's say I figured out my type, we're just gonna pretend like I'm a four.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, because I feel like I very well could be a four.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_03: But it's like if I'm a four, and then I guess like how do I start implementing what I'm learning from the Enneagram?
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: So the first, so we just went over the connection point tool.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_01: That is tool number one of the Enneagram.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and the connection points, the action step that you want to take with the connection points is looking at, and you can, this is where I tell people all the time it's like makes life so much easier now is you can use Chat GPT and say, I am an Enneagram four.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_01: My resource points are a one and a two.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and my wings are a three and a five.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_01: Can you please tell me the high side and low side of all of those Enneagram types?
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's gonna give you the high side characteristics and the low side characteristics of all of those.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then from there, the action step to help you grow is okay, you need to develop what are what are these behaviors, these high side behaviors from these connection points that you have seen yourself exhibit when you're in a really good place.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then you do the same thing with the low side.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: What do you see happens first for you?
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where a coach can be helpful because they can ask you questions, right?
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_01: On like, okay, is it really that you get resentful first?
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_01: Or let's peel back that because that's that's a pretty strong emotion.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: So what happens before then?
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_01: And and developing what you look like when you're just stressed versus overwhelmed versus burned out.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then what you do, the anecdote of that is okay, I know that these are these are what I show up as my low side.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: So the only way out of the low side is through.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_01: So if you notice as a four, you're picking up the low side characteristics of the two faster, like more quickly when you're in stress, then you have to use the high side of the characteristics of the two as the anecdote to get you out of the two and back to your core.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then when you're in, you know, and so you're you're using those to move through the system.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_01: Or if you're like, I I that's that's too hard for me.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'm gonna go to this other resource point then, and I'm gonna try to use the high side characteristics of that as the anecdote.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then, but the goal is to get you back to your core.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_01: That those are the lines.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: You're following the lines of your type to get back to your homeostasis.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_03: Can you give an example?
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like, because it's like I'm a four and I gotta do the two and the low side of the two.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like, can you just give an example of like what's the high side of the two and the low side of the two?
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_03: Just to like give a full example of like the low side would be this, and then the high side would be this, not for all of them, but just like whichever.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_03: You could even go into yours if you wanted to.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say, yeah, the that's probably the one that I'm um, because it's gonna be different for everybody.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I wouldn't want to say, like, oh, as a four, this is what your pattern's gonna be because everyone needs to figure out their own unique pattern.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, as a three, my resource points are six and nine.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I notice that when I am starting to be in a stress cycle, I go to a low side characteristic of a nine first.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that low side is avoidance of problems.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just gonna start avoiding things and I'm gonna have like this ignorance's bliss mentality, like, nope, everything's calm.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_01: What are you talking about?
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm gonna go into that.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna get maybe get in my cocoon and then I'm gonna start numbing behavior.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, it's like binging Netflix and not, you know, like, or you know, going on scrolling on TikTok, right?
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I know now if I am doing that consistently and it's becoming a pattern, then what I do is I go to my type six resource point.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: That is what I've noticed works well for me.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: And the type six is logical.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they're very organized, they're more facts-based than feelings-based.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I do a facts versus feelings exercise.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I say, okay, here is what you're feeling.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: What are the facts that that are associated with those feelings?
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_01: Are those, are those feelings valid or are they are they just feelings that you can work through, right?
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of ignoring them.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I go to that six to pull in more of that problem-solving analytical mind.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't get stuck over here and become just like this complacent um, you know, sloth.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's what's laying the bed.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I use that to then, and that then gets me back to my three because it motivates me.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, ooh, okay, you have a problem to solve.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: You've identified the problem.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: You used your analytical mind over here with the six to identify the problem.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_01: So now you can resume your journey back on being successful and going on to the next project and and getting, you know, getting back here.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's like a simple example of like that is an alarm bell for me of the low side characteristic of the nine.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_01: I tend to need that jump out and get back up here in order to problem solve, which the six helps me do, to then get back into like my core of the three, which is to achieve, to be successful, to keep, to, to, to move.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that was really, really helpful to be able to see just like the breakdown of like how you think about it.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_03: So I feel like if we're gonna like simplify this, because I know that there's a trillion layers, but if we're gonna simplify this, it's like number one, get figure out your type.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_03: Chit chat with somebody that knows what the fuck they're talking about, get your type, get it now down, whatever, and then take a look at the resource points and find the low energy frequency of both of those resource points and be honest with yourself which one you kind of usually lean towards first.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like that would be really helpful in terms of like catching a burnout cycle like really quickly, or like catching stress really quickly, because once you can figure out which one you lean towards, because it's so much easier when you only have to decide between two versus like, oh no, I'm considering all of these things.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_03: And then it's like, okay, which one are you leaning towards in terms of the low frequency?
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_03: And then find the high frequency of the opposite one.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like that feels like a very actionable thing.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_03: And then the example of using ChatGPT, I feel like that's all very helpful to like bring this into action and kind of just get more clarity.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_03: And like now I see really clearly like how and why you kind of combine like burnout and Enneagram because it seems like it goes really hand in hand, like in terms of figuring out, I don't know, like how the fuck to get out of that cycle.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's when I found the Enneagram was when I was burned out.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like that is the tool that saved my life.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I don't say that lightly, like it literally saved my life.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I was able to see, like, oh, these are the patterns.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it is not bad that I want to be successful, that I want to be respected, that I want to be valued.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: That is not bad, right?
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_01: It is all good.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_01: Our fears, our motivations, everything within us, it is all good.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: It is all welcome.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_01: We are not good or bad, right?
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_01: We are who we are.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_01: And the Enneagram gave me permission just to be more of who I am.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: And that I don't have to be embarrassed that I want to be freaking super ambitious, right?
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like the world told me for a long time as a woman, like that wasn't okay.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, bullshit.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's how I'm wired.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like I meant to be ambitious, right?
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so it gave me permission to be more of myself and then to also recognize those not so great parts of myself because like being ambitious may like made me seem a little disingenuous sometimes to where I could be whoever you wanted me to be, because I'm gonna make you like me so you can help me get to this next level, right?
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: So it helped me see my operating system um with a different lens.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it allowed me to have empathy for who I am.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_01: And you can't like, you know, we want to live in an empathetic world, right?
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_01: And you cannot be empathetic for the people around you unless you are empathetic to your own self first.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_01: Empathy starts with empathy for self, then you can have empathy for others.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it just like makes, it just makes the world a better place.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why it also works so well in teams, right?
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_01: Is if we don't have empathy for our own fears and motivations, we're not gonna be able to have empathy for our team, you know, our teammates' fears and motivations either.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where conflict happens a lot, is because there's a clash and value system.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because what motivates one person isn't gonna motivate the next.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're like, why are you acting like that?
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's ridiculous.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_01: This doesn't get get people where they want.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, it doesn't get you where you want because that's not how you're wired.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: But it does work for this person over here, right?
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_01: I love it in marriage too, like or in in partnerships or, you know, whatever, because you can have empathy for your partner and how they cope and deal.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I like I'm on my second marriage and thank God I found the Enneagram before my second marriage, right?
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like it is, it is helping me.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_01: We have so much more empathy for each other because we understand when we're lashing out, it's because there's a riff, we're scared.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: So, okay, how can I address my partner's core fear?
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_01: How can I address my team member's core fear?
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_01: Or how can I address my own, right?
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_01: In order to get to that next, that next place.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_02: That awareness of that we're all operating from different core fears and core motivations, and that there could be nine and then all different layers within them is so helpful.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_02: Because I think a lot of us walk around life confused.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_02: Why are they acting like this?
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I really like that awareness.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to get into energy management with you because I know that's a big part of what you do in all of this.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_02: But before we go there, I'm curious.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you mentioned there's kind of three layers of tools within the Enneagram.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_02: Can you kind of briefly talk to us about like the other two?
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_02: And just like a preview, I know we would probably need to work with someone, but like what are those other two?
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the the second one that I, and sometimes I do the second one first, just depending on where, because I think it's easy to understand.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's called um the intelligence centers.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so there are three intelligence centers within our bed, our our bodies, head, um, heart, and body.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_01: And we need to find equilibrium between those three centers as head, heart, and body.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_01: But every type has a dominant center, has a repressed center, and has a neutral center.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and those are often can often be that those kind of go into energy management.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_01: So it's that's really a good segue.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_01: So head centers are types five, six, and sevens.
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_01: And what our centers tell us is how to best make decisions and how we move through the world.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_01: So types five, six, and sevens best make decisions by using their head, by being logical, analytical.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and they're going to move through the world in a very logical, systematic, more systematic way, or like it's like this makes sense or this doesn't make sense.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_01: And they, when they are moving for the world, they're looking for if people's um thoughts and words are logical.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, does that make sense?
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, is that tracking with what is going on in here?
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_01: Then we have our heart centers, which are types, oh, and sorry, head centers.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you are a head center five, six, and seven, your dominant center of intelligence is your head, and your repressed center, which is the center that causes you the most trouble, is your heart.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then your neutral center is your body.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'll go more into dominant, neutral, and repressed here in a second.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: Then we have our heart types, which are types two, three, and four.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_01: And they are going to best make decisions and move through the world by leaning on um connection, by, mmm, I'm sensing that doesn't feel right.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that that that doesn't like they're they're looking, are people's words matching with what they're sensing?
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's really like an energy feel.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, mm, does this make me feel safe?
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_01: So they're like, and so they might say, like, oh, I instead of saying, oh yeah, I think that this person is, they might say, like, I feel like this person is.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it shouldn't be confused with emotionality.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's about that emotional connection.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're able to read and interpret the language of people around you very, very quickly.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so heart centers, they're so two, threes, and fours, dominant center is the heart, repressed center is the body, and the neutral center is the head.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_01: Then we have our body-centered types, which are types eights, nines, and ones.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_01: And they best make decisions and move through the world with action.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_01: It is what is that next action that I can take?
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's very movement, right?
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_01: Body or body moves, so it's very movement-oriented.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um the uh people in the body center often talk about gut feelings, like they can literally feel it in their body to where heart centers are gonna sense it.
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's more of like this sensing, this energy between people.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: Body centers, it's like in their core, like they can feel it in their body.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's what they're they're going to track or are the people's words matching with their action, um, the actions that they're taking.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so body centers, they're dominant.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_01: So eight, nine, and one, dominant is body, repressed is heart, and neutral is the head center.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I often will, when I'm typing people, if we are torn between a couple of types, we look at the centers.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_01: Do you operate more logically?
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_01: Do you operate more um with more of that sense, that emotionality, that connection, or do you operate more, or are you, are you more action-oriented, like what is that next best step?
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we look at, we look at that.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then we and then you can look at like your resource points, like, okay, which one is my body center, which one is my heart center, head center?
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because you generally, there's a couple of types that don't have all three centers represented.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's another layer that we do not have time to get into.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but that that's another that is one of the tools um that you can use too, because in when we're in a burnout cycle, we will often be moving through the world using our repressed center.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_01: So you can get in a burnout cycle by overusing or underusing your dominant center or overusing or underusing your repressed center.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so you want to have these all we have all three centers within us, and we need to use all three centers, but we need to lead with our dominant, right?
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so when I'm in a burnout cycle as a type three, so I'm dominant heart, my repressed is body, which makes sense that I go to the nine first because nine is body when I'm burned out.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so I have to use my head center, my logic from the six to help me get back into equilibrium.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm not overusing this body center because that's not how I'm wired.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not wired that way.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm wired to be more in here.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I have to find that I, okay, I'm gonna use my neutral center as kind of this bridge to get back over into my dominant and then like let's get this back working in motion like this.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_02: So Mariah, I'm curious.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_02: You were going between four and seven, right?
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_02: Which one resonated with you more?
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_02: Is it the head or the heart?
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I would say the heart.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_03: LOL.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like, yeah, I feel like that.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_03: I think I'm a four.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like it makes sense to me.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_03: My repressed center for sure would be body.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like dominant center would be heart and like neutral, like brain, like head, cool.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_03: We we solid, we chillin' usually.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, I feel like that that was helpful in helping me kind of like decipher between the two that I was marinating with.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_03: What about you, Sha?
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_02: I feel yeah, six still tracks, everything.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_02: That was really interesting.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, Hillary, I am having a couple moments of panic looking at time because I'm like, I have a million things I want to ask you.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_02: But do you mind telling us about that third level if you can't?
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_01: So the third level is called our instincts.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so we have three instincts within us.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and the three instincts are the sexual instinct.
• 1:01:30
  SPEAKER_01: And in the corporate world, people generally call this the hunting instinct or the one-on-one instinct.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_01: But people who have a don are dominant in the sexual instinct crave that one-on-one, like they are really, really good one-on-one, and they are able to draw people in.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, our instincts are based on our coping mechanisms, right?
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_01: So, how are we coping to get our to make sure our fear is taken care of?
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna use a combination of our instincts and our motivation.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_01: And that is, and that's why there's so many layers and how there's actually really like 52 types.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but that like I said, there's there's a lot more there.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_01: So set people who are dominant in the sexual energy have really one good one-to-one connection.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_01: They're like people are generally drawn to them.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they have it, there's kind of like this like spark with them.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_01: There, they tend to be more um just intense generally.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, then you have the social instinct.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and these are these are folks who use community as a way to cope.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_01: They are really, they're really good at reading and interpreting the room in order to meet their need, um, to get their needs met.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_01: So they're going to you really use the people around them to get their needs met.
• 1:02:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then you, the third instinct is the preserving instinct, self-preservation.
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_01: So these are the people that have a really high attention to finances, family, home, um, safety.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so they're going, it's gonna, they're, they're protecting themselves and they're protecting the people around them.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's that that preserving.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so we have all three instincts in us because instinctually in evolution, those are what, right?
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_01: We first had the hunter-gatherers, right?
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_01: Then we had, so we had the people who are going out to kill the food, and then we had the people who were making sure all of the, you know, the the camp was protected, those are our social.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then we had the people who are making sure we had those preservers, people who are like checking the stock, right?
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_01: And we had to form all of those three in order to evolve as a society.
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so, because of that, how evolution worked, we have all three of those instincts within us as well, just at different percentages.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so you can, there's different activities that people that are dominant with the sexual instinct are better at than people with preserving instinct.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so finding your stacking, it's called a stacking, just like how I talked about you have a dominant, neutral, and repressed stacking for your centers.
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_01: You also have a dominant, repressed, and neutral of your instincts as well.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you have to find equilibrium within that as well.
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's a little bit more like a lot more in-depth to and and like an add-on a lot of times to typing sessions is to figure that out.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_01: There are a couple tests out there that I feel like do a decent job at figuring that out, but it's more through conversation.
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so we the the the whole theme between these three tools.
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_01: So we talked about the connection points, the intelligence centers, and the instincts is finding your equilibrium within yourself.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_01: How can you make sure there's movement and and growth?
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you're not getting stuck anywhere, your or your wheel isn't going the wrong way, right?
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're in that fluid moment.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's what we try to obtain.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what that's what the any of them help us with is figuring out what does that equilibrium look like for me?
• 1:05:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because everyone, it's gonna look different for everybody.
• 1:05:09
  SPEAKER_01: You could put a hundred type threes in the same room and our equ, we would achieve equilibrium in a different way.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_01: However, we're all meeting that core desire and core need to not fail, right?
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and to be seen as successful.
• 1:05:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that goes for all the nine types.
• 1:05:24
  SPEAKER_02: And so are you saying the instincts aren't necessarily tied to the uh um types in a set pattern like the other ones have been that can be a little bit more individual?
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:05:35
  unknown: Okay.
• 1:05:36
  SPEAKER_02: My friend that's into this has been talking about, oh, I'm a I've got the sexual energy.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, what are you talking about?
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_02: So it's kind of like your charisma or something like that.
• 1:05:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, 100%.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I am a, I am a sexual three.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I lead with the sexual energy, self preservation is my repressed, and social is my neutral.
• 1:05:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I get most energy by, so that's like the energy inventory.
• 1:05:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like I can track like the things that give.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_01: Me energy, I can directly track to that's when I'm using my sexual instinct, that is when I'm in my heart space, and that is when I'm in the high side of all my connection points.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_01: That is integration for me.
• 1:06:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so you can start to um this energy inventory is one of the first exercises I do with clients as I have them list out all of the things that give them energy, um, meaning like they don't have any output.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_01: It is just things that give them energy.
• 1:06:28
  SPEAKER_01: List out all the things that drain their energy.
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_01: And those things are generally tied to their repressed instinct, their repressed center and the low side of their connection points.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then a third list of what I call reciprocal energy.
• 1:06:43
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the where you give something, but you're also getting something in return.
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_01: So, for example, like me, it's like this podcast.
• 1:06:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm giving you guys energy, but I'm not gonna leave this session feeling depleted.
• 1:06:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna leave this being like, oh fuck, that was amazing.
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_01: I feel a mate, you know, like it's so great, right?
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so there's that category of reciprocal energy.
• 1:07:03
  SPEAKER_01: And those are often those tasks are often found when you are using your neutral to help support your dominant either instinct or um intelligence center.
• 1:07:15
  SPEAKER_01: So you're not overusing one or the other.
• 1:07:19
  SPEAKER_01: And then you can start to kind of work backwards from there to help develop to where you don't get in a burnout cycle because you don't want to be using more than 20% of your repressed instinct or um repressed um center at any given time because you will find yourself in a burnout cycle.
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I like to say like we need to keep 20% energy givers in a week, no more than 20% of depleters, and then you have that wiggle room of the reciprocal.
• 1:07:49
  SPEAKER_01: So you can start setting up your life in a way that's sustainable for you.
• 1:07:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I just feel like I went blah-la-la-la-No, I am like jaw on the floor.
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_02: This is so interesting.
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm what I'm really taken aback with right now is you can reverse engineer this by doing an energy assessment.
• 1:08:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we've the theme of this season, Harley Ray, it's weird you bring this up, is this idea of like fountains and drains, you know, like what is adding to your cup and what's a hole in your cup and draining you.
• 1:08:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so I love that you're taking that and we can use how you answer those things to kind of reverse engineer your Enneagram and then use that to come up with your own specific antidote that is very exciting and has me wanting to dive in more.
• 1:08:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so the the question I had for you, I was kind of stuck on your Instagram before we hopped on energy as a topic.
• 1:08:45
  SPEAKER_02: It's hard to talk about.
• 1:08:46
  SPEAKER_02: And one thing I'm impressed by you is you're in this very corporate, you're working with corporate people and you're training and you're talking about energy in like a non-woo way.
• 1:08:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like energy is something I very much feel and relate to, but it's hard to like quantify and talk about.
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a I'm an analytical person, so I like need to talk about it from a grounded place.
• 1:09:06
  SPEAKER_02: So kind of can you talk to us a little bit about like how you think about energy and how you kind of cross this bridge of like non-woo?
• 1:09:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:09:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's that's an excellent question.
• 1:09:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it it when I talk about energy, I go from a path of like just what fills it to exactly what you said.
• 1:09:25
  SPEAKER_01: What fills your cup?
• 1:09:26
  SPEAKER_01: What drains your cup?
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_01: What makes you feel thirsty?
• 1:09:29
  SPEAKER_01: What makes you and it's a it's a very, it is more of a, I don't talk about like the the, you know, subconscious inner, like all of this is based on our subconscious.
• 1:09:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like I don't do any of that.
• 1:09:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's although it's true, right?
• 1:09:43
  SPEAKER_01: And like we can, we can track with what our inner child is saying, we can track with what, you know, all of that stuff.
• 1:09:49
  SPEAKER_01: But I really approach energy is what lights us up.
• 1:09:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like energy, if you have like it's like kinetic.
• 1:09:55
  SPEAKER_01: I use kind of in the um in the team world, I say like we need to find that kinetic energy.
• 1:10:01
  SPEAKER_01: We need to find the thing that's gonna make your team explode.
• 1:10:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so we have to play with everyone's contract energy, energetic contribution.
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_01: So we need to figure out where your energy inventory is.
• 1:10:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we use it as just I talk about it as just like a uh how you're feeling.
• 1:10:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost like a feeling metric instead of like this um more of that woo metric of like the the energy that's happening in the world.
• 1:10:30
  SPEAKER_01: But then people, it clicks with some people, right?
• 1:10:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's very, I just I talk about it like that, very like cup full, cup empty.
• 1:10:38
  SPEAKER_01: What lights you up, what brings you down.
• 1:10:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we're able to have really powerful conversations because I'm still keeping the core of what the woo is, right?
• 1:10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Just not everyone realizes it, and that's okay.
• 1:10:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I've had to let a lot of that stuff go.
• 1:10:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't talk about trauma when I'm in my teens, right?
• 1:10:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like I talk about like, oh gosh, this really frustrates you, like because you had a frustrating encounter back, right?
• 1:11:05
  SPEAKER_01: You see, you can still take the same principles of what is woo.
• 1:11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I talk a lot, and like if people are like, ugh, like this is this is too woo for me.
• 1:11:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I challenge people, okay, then let's find the wow in the woo.
• 1:11:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if you, if you don't want to be over in this woo section, let's bring you over here in this wow section because woo is just power.
• 1:11:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's like that's what I feel like it is.
• 1:11:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's giving you power, it's giving you tools.
• 1:11:33
  SPEAKER_01: So let's like, what is your wow?
• 1:11:35
  SPEAKER_01: What is this wow moment that's gonna make you feel powerful and give you that empathy and um just confidence in who you are?
• 1:11:44
  SPEAKER_01: So um yeah, just just trying to yeah, infuse the same principles just in a more just like basic language.
• 1:11:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I was, I used to be afraid, like, oh, they're missing out on such good stuff because I can't talk about this.
• 1:11:56
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm realizing they can still, they still pick it up.
• 1:12:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um some people a little faster than others, and I'll get like messages on the side being like, oh my gosh, I cannot believe this, you know, like this totally tracks with this childhood thing.
• 1:12:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, yeah, totally it does.
• 1:12:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's how you're in this place in your career because we are all growing from this one moment, right?
• 1:12:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's cool.
• 1:12:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's kind of like the different systems that you're attracted to based on like how you see the world and like your perception and kind of what you gravitate towards.
• 1:12:26
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like language is cool like that.
• 1:12:28
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, when me and Andrew first got into our relationship, we had a lot of fights because I see things more spiritually and he sees things a little bit more religiously.
• 1:12:36
  SPEAKER_03: And like we had to have some really tough conversations where it's like we ended up being like, we believe the same thing.
• 1:12:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like the foundation of what we believe at the core is the same thing.
• 1:12:45
  SPEAKER_03: We were just saying it in completely different words.
• 1:12:48
  SPEAKER_03: And so, like, that was really interesting and eye-opening to me in order to kind of see the difference and like how language does make a difference and like knowing your audience and knowing what's gonna resonate with them deeply, which is probably a gift for you as like a heart, I don't know the words, heart-centered, heart, heart center, heart-centered dominant person is like you can kind of you can kind of feel the room of like, am I losing you here?
• 1:13:17
  SPEAKER_03: Am I not losing you?
• 1:13:18
  SPEAKER_03: Do I have to kind of like tinker my messaging to go over into a space where like you can kind of feel the resonance or the lack of resonance?
• 1:13:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um, yeah.
• 1:13:27
  SPEAKER_03: So all of this is really interesting.
• 1:13:29
  SPEAKER_03: We're running out of time here.
• 1:13:30
  SPEAKER_03: I just have one more question, and it's probably a loaded question, but like, how did you discover Enneagram?
• 1:13:38
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how did you even get into this world?
• 1:13:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:13:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I was working in corporate America.
• 1:13:45
  SPEAKER_01: I um was, I had a, I was the director of marketing at an organization.
• 1:13:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was in a, let's just say a not great marriage.
• 1:13:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I had had two kids in two and a half years.
• 1:14:00
  SPEAKER_01: One with my youngest was surprised us with a Down syndrome diagnosis.
• 1:14:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I was at a rock bottom moment.
• 1:14:09
  SPEAKER_01: I was found myself in the hospital at 22, thinking that I was having a heart attack.
• 1:14:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um and they said, No, you just need rest.
• 1:14:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, that's not an option.
• 1:14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, rest isn't an option.
• 1:14:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the breadwinner of my family.
• 1:14:21
  SPEAKER_01: I have two small children.
• 1:14:23
  SPEAKER_01: I can't rest.
• 1:14:24
  SPEAKER_01: You have to give me another option.
• 1:14:26
  SPEAKER_01: And they said, there is no other option.
• 1:14:30
  SPEAKER_01: So, as the type three achiever that I am, I didn't know that's what I was yet.
• 1:14:34
  SPEAKER_01: I went to figure out, no, I need another fucking option because I can't sit in bed all day.
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I was given a series of personality tests when I had joined this team.
• 1:14:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, spoiler alert, the person who gave me these personality assessments is now my husband.
• 1:14:51
  SPEAKER_01: And now I'm in a wonderful, thriving uh marriage.
• 1:14:55
  SPEAKER_01: But he was my boss um at this company and he gave me all these assessments as part of just like the onboarding.
• 1:15:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and when I first took them, I kind of rolled my eyes and was like, turns out I was mistyped.
• 1:15:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that's why I was like, eh, whatever.
• 1:15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but after I it was like, I can't remember, maybe my first week back to work after that hospital visit.
• 1:15:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I was sitting at my desk and I was just like, I think I'm gonna give this a try again.
• 1:15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I need to figure out something that's gonna help me.
• 1:15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I did a ton of research.
• 1:15:27
  SPEAKER_01: The Enneagram out of all the assessments that he gave me at that time was the one that I was like, oh, this is different.
• 1:15:32
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't seen this one before.
• 1:15:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so I reopened it up and just like read more about it.
• 1:15:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then when I um landed on the type three and like was looking like the the I remember like the words just like jumping out of the page, like a core fear, fear of failure and a need to be seen as worthwhile.
• 1:15:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I just was like, that's it.
• 1:15:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I'm driving myself into the ground.
• 1:16:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I'm trapped in this marriage, because I'm trying to make him believe that I'm worthwhile, that I'm worth saving, that I'm worth keeping.
• 1:16:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm never gonna get that.
• 1:16:12
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:16:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm working my ass off because I at work, because I felt like my value was in success.
• 1:16:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was gonna do everything I could to be successful.
• 1:16:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I noticed the pattern because I had, I, I, you know, I changed relationship, changed jobs, changed houses, and then I still ended up in the same pattern, right?
• 1:16:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I was able to track from the time I was literally three years old until that moment when I was 22, that I have done, I had done the same thing over and over and over again to try to avoid my fear of failure and to be seen as respected and worthwhile.
• 1:16:51
  SPEAKER_01: And in that moment, I just sobbed and I was like, this is the tool that I'm gonna use.
• 1:16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I just gathered all of the information that I could on it and started on my journey.
• 1:17:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that was in 2015.
• 1:17:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then the rest is kind of history.
• 1:17:09
  SPEAKER_01: Now I have a book about it and like work with Fortune 100 companies um using the tool.
• 1:17:15
  SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of yeah, that's kind of the journey.
• 1:17:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's incredible how like our lowest of lows can really be like that that doorway into, I don't, it could be seen as our purpose, but like our next step.
• 1:17:29
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 1:17:29
  SPEAKER_03: Because it's like, I think that our purpose is much deeper than like hypothetically, like the Enneagram for you.
• 1:17:34
  SPEAKER_03: I think that your purpose is way fucking deeper than that.
• 1:17:37
  SPEAKER_03: And but it's interesting that it's like we find who we are based on what we experience at our lowest of lows.
• 1:17:44
  SPEAKER_03: And like, it's wild that I have this conversation with Andrew all the time that like nobody has a perfect life.
• 1:17:51
  SPEAKER_03: Isn't that wild?
• 1:17:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like nobody has a perfect life.
• 1:17:53
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody, even if you think that they're in like the most perfect situation of whatever, it's like your friends could have been looking at you and like, oh my god, Hillary has it set up.
• 1:18:02
  SPEAKER_03: She has, you know, two beautiful young kids and in a blah blah blah.
• 1:18:05
  SPEAKER_03: And you're like, I am dying on the inside.
• 1:18:09
  SPEAKER_03: And like we're all just walking around in like our own little worlds in our head.
• 1:18:15
  SPEAKER_03: And then, dude, when I think about this shit, it literally just blows my mind about like how we even operate as a society with all of us being, is this my my type four showing through?
• 1:18:26
  SPEAKER_03: All of us being so individualistic and like unique of like how we show up.
• 1:18:32
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's wild, it really is.
• 1:18:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, thank you for coming on, Cher.
• 1:18:38
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for having me.
• 1:18:39
  SPEAKER_03: Do you have any other questions?
• 1:18:40
  SPEAKER_03: I know that we have one more question for the podcast, but how do you feel?
• 1:18:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Hillary, yeah, like I said, this was a blessing and continued to be one.
• 1:18:48
  SPEAKER_02: It was a really wonderful conversation.
• 1:18:50
  SPEAKER_02: We have a million more things we could talk about with you, but thank you for giving us your time today.
• 1:18:55
  SPEAKER_02: And um, yeah, I think we can kind of dive in for now.
• 1:18:57
  SPEAKER_02: If you're open to a part two, we're definitely game for it.
• 1:19:00
  SPEAKER_02: But um for now, we'll leave y'all with uh our ending question, which is what's been sparking your own curiosity lately?
• 1:19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, ooh, I just got chills when you asked me that.
• 1:19:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um I, you know, it's interesting.
• 1:19:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's like this this combination between and what my next like phase of like research is is the combination of how you see the world and how the world sees you, and how that gives us a very specific, like it's like this dual lens approach.
• 1:19:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so, where can we find where is the harmony in that?
• 1:19:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so that's one thing that's like on the research, like a very heady thing that I've been curious about and have been researching.
• 1:19:45
  SPEAKER_01: But I've also been really into um energy healing and energy medicine lately.
• 1:19:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know, working on the next steps of healing that that those core fears with like emotion code and um also like different somatic practices.
• 1:20:05
  SPEAKER_01: So that has that's been like I've been on this journey to find like somatic practices that help me when I'm in that repressed center of the body get more integrated and back into my heart.
• 1:20:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I've been really exploring those.
• 1:20:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I've been curious on um uh yeah, finding finding different methodologies.
• 1:20:22
  SPEAKER_01: My newest one that I've found that I'm obsessed with is Soma Veda Thai Yoga Massage.
• 1:20:28
  SPEAKER_01: It is incredible.
• 1:20:30
  SPEAKER_01: And um, so just yeah, really kind of letting my mind just kind of like, okay, it doesn't have to be logical, like if it works.
• 1:20:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's kind of where I've been trying to like follow, um, follow my heart um when it comes to figuring out some of some of those things.
• 1:20:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that was such a good answer.
• 1:20:46
  SPEAKER_02: And one thing I'm continuously blown away by is how, you know, to be frank with you, the interview guests right that will come out right after yours were bringing on a therapist to talk about somatics.
• 1:20:57
  SPEAKER_02: So that was such a beautiful place to just end right now and how this is kind of all tied together.
• 1:21:02
  SPEAKER_02: But you've brought up a lot of cool.
• 1:21:04
  SPEAKER_03: I think it might be before her.
• 1:21:05
  SPEAKER_03: Is it before her or is it after her?
• 1:21:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it's gonna be around.
• 1:21:08
  SPEAKER_02: It'll be a before or after, but there are these constant themes with our people that are coming up.
• 1:21:14
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you.
• 1:21:15
  SPEAKER_02: That was beautiful.
• 1:21:15
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for sharing.
• 1:21:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm sure our people are going to want to know how can they follow along?
• 1:21:21
  SPEAKER_02: How can they work with you or engage with you?
• 1:21:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I am on all channels.
• 1:21:28
  SPEAKER_01: I am Hillary K.
• 1:21:29
  SPEAKER_01: So LinkedIn and Instagram are my two primary channels.
• 1:21:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my name's spelled kind of funky, so be sure to like look in the in the show notes how my name is spelled, but you can find me anywhere, Hillary K on Instagram and um LinkedIn.
• 1:21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Also, my website's HilaryK um.com.
• 1:21:45
  SPEAKER_01: And so I do work with one-on-ones, generally like very high achieving entrepreneurs, then also um teamwork.
• 1:21:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so yeah, that's where that's where you can find me.
• 1:21:54
  SPEAKER_03: And then you also have, I think, a free energy inventory chapter to your book and then a burnout assessment.
• 1:22:01
  SPEAKER_03: Is that correct?
• 1:22:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:22:03
  SPEAKER_01: So um, and I have I gave the links to you guys.
• 1:22:05
  SPEAKER_01: So there's an energy, um, it walks you through the whole energy inventory exercise.
• 1:22:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's one of the chapters in my book, The Burnout Recovery System.
• 1:22:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so it's that kind of like to help you, I dive in there to help you just get some good, good uh nuggets to help you reverse engineer um your kind of your recovery plan.
• 1:22:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I have that free chapter available.
• 1:22:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then also I've created a burnout assessment.
• 1:22:28
  SPEAKER_01: You have you do have to know your Enneagram type to take the assessment and it'll walk you through a series of questions to let you know where you're at in your burnout cycle, if you're on the right track, if you're stressed, if you're overwhelmed, or if you're burned out.
• 1:22:39
  SPEAKER_01: And then the results will tell you that and kind of tell you some next steps on what you can do to help combat that.
• 1:22:45
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, cool.
• 1:22:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we'll definitely put the links to that in the show notes to both of those things.
• 1:22:50
  SPEAKER_03: And then do you you still help people figure out like what their type is?
• 1:22:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, it's one of my favorite things in the world to do.
• 1:22:56
  SPEAKER_01: I have like, I have been doing it mostly for teams lately, but yes, I have typing sessions.
• 1:23:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um there, they'll you can find the link to those either on my website or the link in my bio on Instagram.
• 1:23:05
  SPEAKER_01: You can book a typing session and it's 60-minute typing session.
• 1:23:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then at the end of the session, we um nine times out of ten, nail your type, and then you get a report on on your type to kind of outline some of the next best steps to help you in your journey.
• 1:23:17
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
• 1:23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fuck yeah.
• 1:23:18
  SPEAKER_03: That sounds so good.
• 1:23:19
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so yes, we will put all of the links to all of that good stuff, to your website, to the resources that you mentioned, and to your Instagram.
• 1:23:29
  SPEAKER_03: Uh yeah, I just want to thank you again, Hillary, for coming on the podcast, for kind of chatting, answering all of our questions, going into the rabbit holes that we were curious about.
• 1:23:38
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but I think that we're ready to close this episode down.
• 1:23:42
  SPEAKER_03: So remember, friends, that you have the power to create whatever the fuck you want.
• 1:23:47
  SPEAKER_03: Follow the nudge, ask questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
• 1:23:52
  SPEAKER_03: We'll see you in the next episode.