Latest / Three Damned Dudes / Episode 22 - Alleged Consent

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Episode 22 - Alleged Consent · Three Damned Dudes

0:11
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Their goal is to make you say wow when it comes out of the
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case. All right, and welcome to the
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Three Damn Dudes podcast. This is episode 22.
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That's nuts. I feel like everything after 4
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is nuts to me and it's going to keep being nuts to me, and
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that's fine. Considering 4 was my one
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everything after one, but you're just talking wild.
1:07
The fact that we're doing this at all is nuts.
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Yeah, and the fact that we've been, I thought this idea was
1:17
going to die with that bottle of Jameson I.
1:21
Haven't even had a bottle of Jameson down here yet.
1:24
I was talking about when we fucking created this idea.
1:30
Yes, yes, yeah. All right, well, let's just jump
1:39
right into it because I don't know how long we have Jimmy for
1:41
today. Gavin, what are you drinking
1:44
tonight? I'm drinking a Voodoo Ranger
1:50
Blood Orange IPA. These things are amazing.
1:54
They're fucking dangerous because it doesn't taste like an
1:58
IPA, it tastes like fucking blood orange.
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I'm like, oh cool, I'm going to get fucked up.
2:05
Nice Jimmy, what are you drinking out there in the
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wherever the hell you are? Nothing.
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That's, I think, my water bottles in the car.
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That's a good place for it. Yeah, oh, drastic measures.
2:26
Time to drink your own piss. Too bad he just got rid of all.
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Unfortunately, I just got rid of that for you guys.
2:35
Don't say it's for us, you fucking shit.
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It was for you guys. No, we told you to shit your
2:42
pants. Well, I couldn't summon a.
2:45
Shit, you let us down. Even though that's the opposite
2:49
of what we said in the fucking group chat.
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Yeah. Proud of you.
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And I am drinking. What are you drinking?
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I'm drinking Blanton's still. And actually, you know what?
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I have a a friend who is a consistent listener of the show
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who has a certain infection right now and cannot drink the
3:16
alcohol, so I told them that I would have an extra half a pour
3:21
for them. You're good, man.
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Nothing. It it wanted to pour one out for
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the dead homies. Yeah, for the dead homies.
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Not not the one who can't drink right now because they have an
3:46
infection. All right, let's get to the
3:53
recaps. As is tradition.
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I cannot wait to hear what this fucking audio is going to sound
4:00
like because I can barely hear myself over Jimmy.
4:06
Yeah. Is it loud?
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Hang on, I got to. I got to stop this.
4:11
It's it's super fucking loud. Just.
4:14
What are you hearing? Really.
4:15
Here? No.
4:18
You walking. I turned the audio or the echo
4:23
cancellation on for me and you, but you know that is a
4:28
fairpoint. Jimmy walks through the woods
4:30
super loud. It's a miracle he's ever shot
4:32
any deer at all. Yes, I thought you were like
4:40
cutting it to go listen to that little snidbit.
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This I did too. I'm not really sure what the
4:46
fuck you even did there. Yeah, that's why I thought, oh,
4:51
I can, but. No, I just turned Jimmy down.
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Oh shit, we can do that. Do you have?
4:58
To take people's talking privileges away.
5:02
Yeah, somebody. Yeah, I know.
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Jimmy, show me on the podcast where the podcast hurt you.
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Right. But yeah, as is tradition, I
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will kick off the recaps. So I had a had a a hell of a
5:27
Saturday. My wife and one of her friends,
5:32
my wife were going out to to to downtown Frederick to go, you
5:40
know, drink and hang out and get away from the house and
5:44
basically do Mother's Day stuff on Saturday when it's, you know,
5:49
a drinking day. That means my buddy and I were
5:52
at the house with three children, which normally is fine
5:59
except my buddy is the one that dropped the wives off and also
6:04
picked them up, leaving me at the house with three children,
6:12
which still not a bad thing yet. However, my buddy's child, he
6:23
likes to remind me that I am not his dad and therefore cannot
6:30
tell him what to do. Which right that fair and valid.
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Like I can't even be mad about that.
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And it's kind of sad that we live in a day and age where
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like, that's a, that's a solid thing to teach your fucking
6:47
kids. If an adult tells you to do
6:49
something and it's not me or your mom.
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I feel like there's a line there.
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There, there is a line. Yeah, there's, there's an
7:00
unspoken line there. There's a time and a place to
7:03
question what you were being told to do by an adult that is
7:06
not your parent. Yeah, like teacher at daycare,
7:09
school. Yeah, you should probably listen
7:11
to him. The creepy balding guy in the
7:14
trench coat at the park. Don't listen to him.
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No, but no. Right, Right.
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Just. That blanket statement, yeah.
7:25
The the first time he hit me with that.
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Yeah. Trucks he was standing on the
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couch and I said hey buddy stop standing on the couch sit on
7:40
your butt and he goes you're not my dad you can't tell me what to
7:45
do to which I said you're right buddy I'm not your dad.
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However, I don't want you to get hurt.
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So I need you to sit down and kind of still still doesn't.
8:02
And I'm like, you know, I may not be your dad, but your dad's
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going to be back in like 10 minutes and we can play this
8:07
game and screw around and find out.
8:08
But I don't think you're going to like how it how it works out
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for you in the end. Just.
8:13
And then he sat down. Teach him a lesson.
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Right. Well, not my kid.
8:19
I'm not going to go hands on with somebody else's kid unless
8:23
it's like a life or death type thing.
8:27
So I thought, I thought, right, we had a we had come to an
8:29
understanding at that point that was not the case.
8:35
The second and final instance. Was.
8:45
He was sitting on the couch. This was an hour or two later
8:50
sitting on the couch and Barrett, my one year old is in
8:53
his Walker like walking around the the fucking living room and
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Barrett is infatuated with this other kid who's at the house,
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just keeps walking up to him, keeps like, you know, being a
9:06
being a fucking toddler. And the kid looks at me and goes
9:11
can can you can you make him go away?
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He's he's bothering me and I'm like, God God damn it.
9:20
No, nobody, I really I can't. He's, he's a baby and he doesn't
9:26
understand if you, if you ask him to back up, he doesn't, he's
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not going to get it and he's going to continue to do it.
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So I, we just, we got to deal with it for a little bit longer
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and you know, we, we will all collectively get over this thing
9:42
that's going on right now. So he, he moves to a different
9:47
part of the couch, a little bit further away from where Barrett
9:49
can get to him. And Barrett finds a way, says
9:54
life finds a way, and the desert provides now, finds a way to get
9:58
right up on him again. And so this other kid gets down
10:02
and like, gently scooches Barrett to the other side of the
10:06
room and then runs back to the couch.
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And I'm like, oh, that's what a game.
10:10
He's making a he's making a game out of it's all right.
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He, I think he's OK. Does this three times.
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On the fourth time, pushes Barrett back, kind of gives the
10:22
Walker a little shove at the end, and then like push, shoves
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Barrett in the forehead and then goes to run back to the couch
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like he'd been doing the whole time.
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And I see this and I, I look at him and I go, hey, buddy, what
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did you just do? And he turns around and he's
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like, oh, shit, nothing. And I'm like, all right, buddy,
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what did you just do? And he, he went, oh, no, oh, no,
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Fuck. I I pushed his forehead and I
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went, yeah, I know. What makes you think that's OK?
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Why would you do that? And then he gets all, he gets
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kind of kind of in a tizzy about it again and goes, well, you're
11:16
not my dad. And I go, You're right.
11:20
So guess whose house you're in? Guess whose couch you're on?
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So you know what? You're right.
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I'm not your dad, but you're not my kid.
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So get off my couch and go sit on your butt in front of the
11:31
front door until your dad gets back.
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How about that? Jimmy found something dead.
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Damn, yes he did. That looks like a deer and
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what's left of a deer. Something was murdered.
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So break, Break all of this racket you're hearing in the
11:50
background. Jimmy is dialed in from a
11:53
undisclosed location where he is hunting in the woods and being
12:00
awfully loud. I believe the term.
12:02
'S poaching. You're fucking to.
12:04
Say that I'm punting. So we we will get to we will get
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to Jimmy here in a minute. But yeah, so I'm like, yeah, go
12:17
sit in front of the door. Go sit there and just stare,
12:19
stare at the door until your dad gets home.
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And he's like, I, I don't want to do that.
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And I'm like, cool. Sit on the couch and look at the
12:28
TV. Don't even don't look at
12:30
Barrett. Don't don't think about him.
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Don't even breathe toward him. You do not move until your dad
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gets here. And he went.
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You could see in his face that he knew that he had fucked up at
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that point. So.
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So yeah, that that flashed me back in my own head to all the
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times that I jokingly tell people they're not my dad.
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Yeah. So that was that was a super
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fun. That was a super fun thing.
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Now on to my child. Not somebody else's child, my
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child, my daughter. She said a bad word at school
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the other day. I'm surprised it took this long.
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Right. Yeah, no one more surprised than
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everyone who's ever heard her talk.
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Yes. So I go to pick her up and the
13:24
teacher pulls me aside and goes, hey, Ridley said a bad word
13:29
today and I went Oh no, which one?
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Which should have been the first red flag for the teacher.
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The teacher gets in a little closer and goes.
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She called one of her friends an asshole and my thought was, oh
13:51
thank God it was that one and not a different one.
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And then what had come out of my mouth was huh, well, at least it
14:00
wasn't one of the worst ones. Which apparently for all of you
14:05
out there, is not the right answer.
14:07
That is not a. That is not the appropriate
14:09
response. To.
14:10
Say to the daycare teacher. The first thought that popped in
14:14
my head wouldn't be the appropriate response either,
14:18
because my first thought was, well, was the kid being an
14:21
asshole? Yeah, I, I have said something
14:27
along those lines when I am told that Ridley has hit one of her
14:31
friends or if Ridley has been hit by one of her friends.
14:37
And generally when Ridley is on the receiving end of a punch or
14:40
a slap or something, teachers like, hey, Ridley got, Ridley
14:44
got hit, and they're like, they really don't give details.
14:50
Yeah. But they're like, hey, this is
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generally what happened. She's OK.
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They went and played afterward, everything's fine.
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And I usually get in close and I'm like, did she deserve it?
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And the teacher 9 times out of 10 goes.
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I don't know how to answer that. I had one teacher, one time go
15:17
yeah, yeah, yeah, she she had it coming.
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And I go, all right. Yep, cool consequences, yeah.
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Yeah, so the same child who called her friend an asshole at
15:27
school. We're outside of the playset
15:30
earlier today, and she's got a little grill thing that's part
15:33
of the place that it opens up. It's got like a hot dog and
15:35
spatulas and ketchup and mustard and a plate.
15:39
The plate was missing from the rest of the set.
15:44
And she's just kind of like in her own little world, not really
15:46
interacting with me but doing her own thing.
15:48
And I hear her go, where the hell did the plate go?
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And I'm like what? Oh God.
15:57
Oh, yeah, I, I think there needs to be stronger consequences for
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saying Tax's words now. Because she is, Yeah.
16:08
She's. Just starting to fucking leather
16:10
RIP. I would hate to hear her
16:13
internal monologue. Oh, 100%.
16:16
It'd be hilarious that you and Jenna, like, yeah.
16:22
Like, we really don't swear around her all that much.
16:24
Definitely not anymore. This is like y'all fucking used
16:29
to. Yeah, but before she started
16:32
parroting everything. Oh, you know, just so in all the
16:37
formative years where they're learning everything.
16:40
Yeah, those years don't count. Yeah, you're right.
16:42
That's where kids learn Spanish, not swear words.
16:46
But yeah, that is my recap. Jimmy, what do you got?
16:50
Hold. On I'm fine that.
16:53
Fucking reminded me, I saw something Jenna posted the other
16:57
day, like the Mother's Day thing that all the kids did and they
17:02
were fucking singing in Spanish. I've Ridley just looked fucking
17:08
lost, dude. And it was the funniest fucking
17:12
thing. It's like, obviously she's not
17:15
learning it. That will.
17:17
She's picking up on a couple things, but yeah, not, not super
17:23
duper. Well, Jimmy, that's a super
17:24
realistic green screen to make it look like you're driving and
17:27
podcasting at the same time. That's impressive, man.
17:29
Yeah, yeah. You know, with modern
17:31
technology, it's pretty fucking lit, dude.
17:34
I wonder if your green screen's going to show you getting in
17:36
another accident. Well, hopefully the green screen
17:43
shows them all my fucking seat belt this time.
17:46
You were your seat belt last time.
17:49
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no,
17:50
you're right. Shit, shit you.
17:53
Mean this time. Yeah, you're right.
17:58
Jimmy, what do you got for a recap, man?
18:01
Well, fucking Merrell hunting is gay.
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Fucking following that out. So we have a we have a driver
18:13
who who drives for a shipping company who delivers our stuff
18:17
for us and couple like maybe about a month or two ago, he
18:22
asks me if I'm into mushrooms at all.
18:24
And at first I thought he was talking about like Schwoms and
18:29
talking about modern fucking technology.
18:30
This phone holder sucks. So he asked me if I like
18:36
mushrooms and I was like, no, not really.
18:41
And then he was like, ah man, like grow mushrooms.
18:43
Here's my card. And he gives me this card and
18:49
he, and then I will this very quickly that he's not talking
18:53
about shrooms, he's talking about like edible mushrooms.
18:56
I go, oh shit, yeah, dude, I fucking do like regular
18:59
mushrooms, like portobellos and, you know, white mushrooms and
19:04
everything like that. Like I do like those.
19:07
And so like, I for some reason, like started seeing these posts
19:12
online on Facebook about Morel mushrooms and I've always wanted
19:16
to find them. I've always wanted to look for
19:17
them. And I never really, I never got
19:21
into it. I never had a chance.
19:22
I never had the free time. I never had just finally I'm
19:27
able to fucking start looking for these things.
19:29
So like, that's been my kick lately.
19:32
And so I asked him, I go, hey, man, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm
19:35
really struggling here. Do you like Morel mushrooms?
19:38
He's like, oh man, they're my favorite.
19:39
I found a ton of them already. And I go, oh, good.
19:42
So I'm like asking them for pointers and stuff like that.
19:45
And I told him about my last endeavor where I was like 4
19:48
miles into the woods. Like the Internet is saying
19:52
you're looking for dying trees. And you can tell if a tree is
19:56
dying if you look at top and there's no, there's no leaves
20:01
and stuff up there, right, bro? That's like all we are.
20:06
I'm in fucking Michigan, dude. Fucking more likely to find one
20:11
without leaves and you're out with leaves.
20:13
You find a freaking one with leaves.
20:15
Like this one, it's probably a fucking skinwalker.
20:17
Dude. Fellas, I got a level with you.
20:21
I think I'm more likely to find the fucking cure for cancer out
20:24
here than I am to find fucking Morel mushrooms I can't even
20:28
find in my fucking accident. You know I found five, and I'm
20:36
not kidding, 5 different types of animal shit, but not one
20:42
mushroom. I found two snakes.
20:46
I found a skull. I found a bottle of Red Stripe
20:50
that had the label removed. I found an empty pint of vodka
20:54
and not one Morel mushroom getting eaten alive by
21:00
mosquitoes, but no ticks. I found a bumblebee in the
21:04
woods. All right, you see?
21:07
See. Boop.
21:13
No fucking Morel mushrooms. Like for real.
21:18
I might find Jesus up here before I find fucking Morel
21:20
mushrooms. All right, all this vegetation
21:24
on the grounds got to be a good sign, right?
21:26
Guys? I don't know where my car's at,
21:29
but that's all right. I got a flashlight and a knife.
21:33
I could fucking live out here. Although food's a problem.
21:37
I clearly can't find fucking mushrooms to eat, so I'm going
21:39
to have to kill a fucking squirrel or some shit.
21:42
But. And he's like, oh man, he's
21:47
like, you know what, I'm going to help you out.
21:49
He's like, you can't tell anybody, but I'll tell you my
21:51
spot that I go to. And he's like, you'll never want
21:55
to go anywhere else again once you go to the spot because the
21:59
spot's great. And so I was like, oh, OK, cool.
22:02
He's like, we can't tell nobody. I was like, I promise.
22:05
And so I went to that place today and well, I didn't fuck
22:11
find shit except for one. Holy fuck.
22:15
I make one suicide joke and there it is.
22:18
I'm going to fucking kill myself.
22:20
Where are the other ones at? That's all it took.
22:25
Is it hollow? If it's hollow, it's a Morel.
22:28
It's hollow. This is a Morel mushroom, guys.
22:31
We fucking found one. Holy shit.
22:35
Holy shit, guys, I felt one fucking mushroom after I
22:40
threatened to kill myself. The Lord felt bad for me and I
22:44
found one and it was funny because I was talking to you
22:46
guys and I said I'm going to go commit Sudoku.
22:49
And then all of a sudden I looked down.
22:51
There's a big ass fucking well, I don't know about big, but it's
22:54
decent. I don't know, fucking raw
22:55
mushroom just growing out of the ground.
22:58
I go, oh shit. So I mean, you guys saw my
23:00
natural reaction actually because I sent you guys the
23:03
video of it. But I put in, I put in some work
23:10
today. I went in like you guys kind of
23:12
caught me right at the end of my walk, but I went pretty deep in.
23:17
I'm put about a mile in one way and then came back out to the
23:20
road, had a couple chicken Nuggets and then went back out
23:26
but a mile the other way and I only found one fucking mushroom.
23:29
I drove an hour for this shit. The.
23:35
House is $5 a fucking gallon. Did you save those snaps to your
23:41
phone? Yeah, probably.
23:43
OK, I need you to send them to me and I'll let everybody else
23:46
experience it like we did all. Right.
23:51
Hope there's a deer a live one this time.
23:55
Hey. Yeah, it was small.
24:00
Oh, there's another deer. See if you guys can see it.
24:02
Oh, there's 2 deer. I don't know if you guys saw
24:07
them. No, can't see shit.
24:10
That's a super realistic 4D green screen experience You
24:13
bought though. Yeah, look, a deer.
24:17
It's a new line of GoPro Sick, sick, new quality but.
24:29
I don't know. How'd your guys's Mother's Day
24:33
go? You guys want to talk about
24:34
Mother's Day? You guys do anything?
24:42
Well, is that the Is that the end of your recap or do you have
24:44
a Mother's Day recap in there? Well, I do.
24:47
Yeah. I got a little bit of a Mother's
24:49
Day recap. I mean, we can hit my recap and
24:52
then we can circle the. Oh yeah, yeah.
24:54
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry.
24:56
I. Apologize.
24:57
Yeah. That's rude to me.
24:59
We know, yes. It was.
25:06
Don't do it again. Gavin knows.
25:08
Don't do it again yo, I'll do it again.
25:14
No dude, I've had a fucking sinus infection for like a week
25:18
at this point and this shit sucks.
25:23
Like definitely not as bad as I was a couple of days ago, but
25:29
it's just the constant fucking up and down of like congestion
25:34
and everything fucking running out.
25:38
I hate it. I've been sleeping like shit,
25:40
fucking haven't had the motivation to fucking do
25:45
anything. Now I've got this like
25:48
persistent fucking cough now. It's great.
25:52
But I think the highlight of my week was I took a ghost poop.
26:00
So let me set the scene. You took a what?
26:03
A ghost poop. That's what I thought you said.
26:06
The fuck's a ghost poop? Let me set the scene laying in
26:13
bed, get the urge. I'm like, oh, that's not for it.
26:17
That's a that's a poop. All right, I gotta go to the
26:20
bathroom, right? Get in, sit down, scroll them on
26:23
my fucking phone like normal. And I feel it.
26:27
I'm all right, cool. It's time I got pushed now, so I
26:31
get to push it. I'm pushing, I feel the
26:36
pressure. Something fucking drops into the
26:39
toilet, right? I go the wipe.
26:42
There's nothing on the toilet paper.
26:45
It's like it just came off the fucking roll.
26:49
So I'm like, cool, easy day, don't have to deal with it.
26:52
Stand up, go the flush. And I'm like, there's not a
26:56
fucking turd in that bowl. It's just fucking gone.
27:02
There is nothing in the toilet bowl.
27:05
So there's no shit in the toilet bowl.
27:08
There's no shit on the toilet paper.
27:10
I don't know what the fuck happened.
27:12
I don't know if I got gas lit by my asshole or what.
27:18
I swear to God, I pooped. It was just no fucking evidence
27:22
of it. I bet that bitch came out so so
27:27
shiny and pointy that it was aerodynamic and did a perfect
27:31
dive under the toilet bowl and dove right down the hole.
27:34
It fucking it would have had to because I swear to God it exited
27:38
by body. I just don't know where the fuck
27:41
it went. Yeah, it was.
27:46
It was a weird experience. I spent like a good 30 minutes
27:49
reasoning with myself, like, did I actually poop?
27:52
They're like what the fuck just happened?
27:55
Started shoving things in his ass and pulling him out to make
27:58
sure that that was in fact the feeling that he felt.
28:06
Not quite, however, Jeremy, what the fuck?
28:10
What happened? I was just wondering what the
28:14
fuck you doing with the phone there I'm.
28:16
Trying to fucking fuck with this phone holder so I don't have to
28:19
hold it because the phone holder won't like the vice part won't
28:24
clamp down onto my phone. Very well, yeah.
28:29
All right. Yeah, that was that was my
28:30
recap. I got gas slit by my asshole so.
28:35
That's the whole recap is ghosting.
28:37
I'm glad I'm starting therapy again because I I got to talk
28:41
about that. I got to work through that one.
28:44
There's probably some underlying trauma there.
28:52
Yeah, it's fair. Well shit.
28:57
Hey Jimmy figured out his green screen 4D experience.
29:01
No, I don't. I wouldn't say I figured it out.
29:03
I just just fucking. I don't really know.
29:13
That's fair. That works.
29:16
So, Mother's Day. So.
29:21
What Jenna wanted for Mother's Day was to sleep in.
29:27
So I woke up with the kids and we went downstairs and she slept
29:32
in. How about that?
29:34
And the other thing she wanted for Mother's Day was to get her
29:37
hair done. So she has made that appointment
29:42
and then we went to Sam's Club and spent Sam's Club money.
29:48
Yeah, that's fair. Fucking ridiculous and I'm not
29:51
realizing it. Scheduled myself to donate
29:54
plasma that afternoon so I left the house for like 2 hours on
30:01
Mother's Day to go get stuck in the arm for money.
30:07
What the Mother's Day, Mike and a bunch of crackheads fucking
30:13
donating. Yeah, Yep, Yep, yeah, pretty
30:22
much. Jeremy, what's your Mother's Day
30:26
thing you want to talk about? I did pretty good apparently.
30:32
I so we woke up and I took Maddie and her boys to out to
30:40
breakfast we. Why'd it take me here?
30:46
What the fuck? If you guys could see what we're
30:51
on that right now and why it did this to me, I have no idea.
30:58
Donate plasma with a bunch of crackheads.
31:03
I've seen a lot of horror movies and start exactly.
31:06
I'm on the campus of Pinckney High School, which is the size
31:10
of a college. Why did the GPS pull me into
31:13
here? What the fuck?
31:16
Why did you follow it blindly? Because I'm talking to you
31:20
jackasses. He's like, I think this is the
31:24
wrong way, but I'm going to follow it anyways.
31:26
Yeah, I. Was like this.
31:28
Don't. Look right at all.
31:31
Right. I don't live at a high school.
31:37
Oh shit. All right, let's see.
31:48
Here I. Don't.
31:49
I don't know. I don't fucking.
31:51
Anyway, we went to breakfast, that was good.
31:55
And then we went to her parents to see her mom and stuff and
32:01
give her mom the gift that Maddie got for her and stuff
32:04
like this and and, and shout out to Maddie, even though she
32:07
doesn't listen, She without she, she got my mom stuff.
32:15
I didn't ask her to do that. I didn't tell her to do that.
32:18
I didn't say, you know, it'd be cute as if you did that.
32:20
I didn't do any of that. She just, without just being,
32:24
just being her natural self, she got my mom stuff and I thought
32:30
that was really cool. And so we're at your, we're at
32:34
her mom's house visiting. And we were talking about like,
32:41
we got to find a way to get my mom the stuff.
32:45
We got her. And Maddie's like, well, I was
32:51
thinking, we can do dinner with her.
32:54
She's like, hang on, I'll message her.
32:55
And she messages my mom and invites her to dinner.
33:00
And so that was cool. So we took my mom out to eat and
33:05
it was just a good day. But before, but before we took
33:08
her out to eat, I took Maddie to a nursery to get a bunch of
33:11
gardening stuff for our flower bed and everything like that.
33:16
Like I told Maddie that she can take over the flower bed and
33:19
basically make it hers and do whatever she wants with it.
33:22
You know, give her full creative control.
33:27
So we went to the nursery. We did that.
33:31
And then we went to dinner with my family.
33:33
And then it was just awesome. And then Maddie was like, you
33:37
did really good. She's like, you did so good this
33:39
Mother's Day. You made it a really good day
33:41
for me. Everything went really well.
33:44
I just hope that I can, I can match you for Father's Day.
33:49
So apparently I did good. So that made me feel pretty
33:52
proud. Nice man.
33:54
Yeah. See what's that?
34:05
Meanwhile, we forgot to even make a Mother's Day shout out on
34:10
last week's episode cuz we're a bunch of fucking Ding dongs.
34:14
I think you mentioned Mother's Day.
34:17
I don't remember. We did make a post on Mother's
34:20
Day though. Yep.
34:24
So, I mean, at least there's that, right?
34:27
Yeah, yeah. Bare minimum.
34:30
I mean, that's pretty much all I did.
34:32
Bare minimum. I texted my mom and I was like,
34:34
Happy Mother's Day. I was like thanks.
34:39
I I called my mom and said you're welcome because I was her
34:47
first born child. You're the reason she could
34:50
celebrate. You're God damn right.
34:53
Fuck it, don't ever fucking forget your word liking.
35:00
No, you're birth king. Have a great poop, my king.
35:07
Oh shit. I would just.
35:11
Hold on, I would just like to say I didn't do the bare minimum
35:14
because I'm an asshole. It's because my mom doesn't care
35:17
about it. She doesn't care about Mother's
35:19
Day. She doesn't care about her
35:20
birthday. Like it's kind of the reason why
35:23
I am the way I am. More like I don't give a shit
35:26
about birthday or holidays or anything.
35:28
It's because she never did. And she doesn't.
35:30
I'll ask her be like, hey, do you want to do anything?
35:33
Like, do I do something special? She's like, Nope, I won't do
35:36
shit. I'm like, all right, cool, easy
35:38
day. We went out to lunch today,
35:43
gather from work. I mean that that was good enough
35:47
for her. So.
35:48
Oh. Yeah.
35:52
Nice man. Yep, nice.
35:57
All right, you guys ready to to get into this fucking simulation
36:01
rant bullshit? Yeah, we've got for us.
36:06
OK so I don't actually, but for the sake of this rant believe
36:10
that we are in fact living in a simulation and I am convinced
36:19
that there is one of a few things going on with this
36:23
simulation. One, I'm fairly certain that us
36:28
and everyone we know are fucking NPCS, which is not a super cool
36:36
thing. And like not even one of the
36:39
important NPCS that like gives you a fucking quest or some
36:42
shit. We're just like, we're like
36:44
there just standing at the cash register and then we go stand in
36:48
the corner and look at something and then go to the cash register
36:51
and like that. That's it.
36:54
I'm the one that keeps running into shit starts glitching.
36:57
Out I'm just fucking naked T posing in the corner.
37:10
Oh fuck. I'm I'm also convinced that we
37:16
like if, if the simulation's like a video game and you can
37:19
have multiple saved games, that we are living in a saved game,
37:24
that somebody is completely fucking abandoned.
37:28
We're just, we're just on someone's fucking hard drive
37:31
and, and the galactic fucking expanse just waiting to be fired
37:36
back up. And until then, we're all just
37:39
just fucking vibing like NPCS. The last thing I am convinced of
37:52
is that if the simulation is like a video game, is that
37:58
happiness and success or DLCS that the angsty fucking 13 year
38:05
old that is was playing this game didn't bother to fucking
38:10
save his allowance for so it just said it's not possible,
38:16
it's not in the game. Which gets into kind of a weird
38:29
a weird thing. If happiness is ADLC that isn't
38:32
in the code, does that explain why I'm more codependent and
38:42
content than I've ever been fucking actually happy?
38:50
I wish I could meet the little bitch that did the coding that
38:53
didn't give me my fucking grown up Weiner.
38:56
Fucking fucking that. He's a fucking hoe, dude.
39:04
His mom's a hoe. .001% of the NPCS will not have grown up
39:10
wieners. We're fucking statistical
39:14
anomaly then, because there's three of us here.
39:17
I don't know if you guys heard the episode of Joe Rogan where
39:20
he had Elon Musk on. There's a few of them, But one
39:24
of the episodes where he had Elon, he was talking about the
39:29
simulation thing. And Elon pretty much said
39:33
statistically it's extremely like a million to one more
39:41
likely that we are in a simulation that we are not.
39:45
So there's that. Elon's smarter than I am, and so
39:53
that's kind of spooky. How though?
39:57
So Ben, you can't just say that and then provide nothing to back
40:01
it up. What, that Elon's smarter than
40:03
him or there's a million to one chance in favor of this being a
40:07
simulation? To have business in the
40:10
simulation part because like, sure, you can say that and be
40:13
like, yeah, I'm smart. I'm saying it take me at my
40:16
work. It's like, no, you're smart.
40:19
What led you to that fucking conclusion?
40:21
Because I want to know. I'm so smart I fired a car into
40:26
space. This is a simulation.
40:29
I forgot he fucking did that. I forgot there's just a Tesla
40:33
fucking clothing somewhere in space.
40:38
He literally, you know, he literally designed his spaceship
40:42
tip to be pointy because of the movie The Dictator.
40:44
And it was funny to him. Like, I love that, he said.
40:50
It's actually better if it's round, but I wanted to be pointy
40:52
because it's fun, like. Jeez.
40:56
Like let's say because of that fucking movie.
41:00
Is that why so many of them have failed?
41:03
Well, so many have failed because it it only takes,
41:07
there's only one way to figure out everything completely and
41:10
this is a fucking test. It they fail some stuff on
41:13
purpose to test other shit. Because he talks about that on
41:18
Rogan too. But I don't know.
41:25
The simulation thing is interesting, but at the end of
41:29
the day, to me it doesn't really matter, you know?
41:34
I just wish if it was a simulation, whoever's fucking
41:38
running this shit, can you get me to fucking to where I don't
41:41
have to live in a trailer anymore?
41:43
I'd be fucking sick, you know? Or like an unlimited money cheat
41:47
code. If we could figure out what the
41:49
fucking cheat codes are, that'd be great.
41:50
I don't even. Need that just.
41:52
Fucking just just make it a little like fucking gas is five
41:56
hours a gallon. If this is a simulation, who's
42:03
running it and what are they fucking testing?
42:05
Right. And how long ago did they
42:07
fucking test it and not tear the simulation down?
42:11
You know, I had a theory. I used to work for a company
42:18
that was owned by Scout's Miracle Drill, and I always had
42:24
the suspicion that we were bought to be part of a social
42:29
experiment because we the stuff that they had us go through was
42:37
just wild. Like we started at $15.00 an
42:43
hour. Things got incredibly busy.
42:45
They bumped us up to 18 an hour and then things got even busier
42:50
and they gave a bunch of people promotions and they made even
42:53
more money. And then they fired 50% of our
42:57
staff when things slowed down. But then they gave everybody
43:01
else a raise. And then it turned into Hunger
43:04
Games because they knew they were going to cut more.
43:06
And they did cut more. And then they gave us a raise
43:09
again. And then they cut more.
43:11
It was fucking wild, dude. I was like, this place is nuts.
43:15
Let's see what they do. Let's fire all their fronts and
43:17
give them a dollar raise like the fucking.
43:22
Well, I mean, the question is what did you do?
43:24
Because it sounded like you stuck through it.
43:28
Well, I did. I stuck through it.
43:32
I made it till the very last round until, let me rephrase
43:41
that because it's actually kind of a funny story.
43:45
I made it all the way to the end of the last batch of people
43:49
until they closed, until they closed our location.
43:52
However, I didn't make it to the very end like everybody did
43:57
because I got fired for sexual harassment.
44:01
I sexually harassed you. Get this, Get this.
44:06
I sexually harassed my best friend who is still one of my
44:12
best friends. He was not the one who told on
44:15
me. He was the only one that was in
44:18
the fucking room when it happened.
44:21
I got fired for fucking hearsay because they didn't want to.
44:25
Because The thing is, is when they fired everybody, when they
44:29
fired everybody, they had to give us, they gave everybody
44:33
three months pay. It was a severance package that
44:36
they gave everybody. And if you were there for a
44:41
certain amount of time, they'd give you more than that.
44:44
Well, I was one of the people there who was there longer than
44:46
anybody else because I was there for like 6 years.
44:52
This is what happened and it is hilarious.
44:58
We were slow and my buddy and I were in the bathroom and he was
45:07
in the stall. He wasn't shitting.
45:12
He was sitting in the stall hitting his vape.
45:16
His pants were off but his boxers were on.
45:20
I don't know why. I think it was to make it look
45:23
like he was shitting and I knew he was in there.
45:28
So I pull my phone out and I put it on record and you see my face
45:34
and you see me turn my hat backwards.
45:37
You see me do this funny smile and then you see me run.
45:41
And what I did is I ran and I baseball slid underneath the
45:46
stall door. So I ended up in the stall with
45:49
my buddy who was sitting at the toilet.
45:52
And then it pans over and we're both in there laughing together.
45:56
I showed two people that video, and it turns out that one of the
46:01
people that I showed was so afraid of losing his job that he
46:06
told on me because he knew that I could replace him.
46:11
So he got me fired. He told them that my buddy was
46:15
naked. He told them that he was deeply
46:18
offended. I didn't even get to talk to
46:20
anybody about it. My, my, my manager was on
46:24
vacation in Paris and I didn't get to talk to HR about it.
46:30
HR wouldn't return my calls. I got my, my, They made my
46:34
manager come back from vacation, come in, fire me, and then go
46:40
back. And they didn't give me a chance
46:43
to explain myself. They didn't give me a chance to
46:47
say that's my like everybody there knew it was my best
46:50
friend, but they didn't give me a chance to explain that he had
46:54
fucking pants on. He wasn't actually using the
46:56
restroom. Neither one of us were.
46:58
And I was being funny and it was, the whole thing was more or
47:02
less it's a weird word to use for this situation, but it was
47:05
good consensual thing. It was just a fucking screwing
47:08
around, you know, so. I have a sneaking suspicion that
47:16
your explanation still would have resulted in you getting
47:19
fired. I think it would have too.
47:23
I showed after I got fired, I showed my manager the video and
47:31
I was like, it's funny. I was like, you gotta see it.
47:37
He saw and he goes, it is funny, but it's not funny enough for me
47:46
to fucking fly from Paris to come fucking fire you and then
47:49
leave again. It wasn't that funny.
47:53
He's like, you couldn't have waited.
47:55
He was like, he was like, because I wasn't here and had to
47:59
go to HR. I was like, it would have been
48:02
fine had you just waited. I was like, that's all right.
48:06
I was like, this job kind of sucks anyway and I ended up, I
48:14
ended up having a new job that day because I was pretty well
48:16
connected with other companies because of the role that I had.
48:22
Did you have to tell them why you got fired from your previous
48:25
position? No, I I just moved into the
48:30
neighborhood. I'm legally required to tell you
48:33
this. Believe it or not, I left.
48:36
I left certain parts. Oh my God.
48:38
All right, I'll go. Love that you stopped first, but
48:42
I'll go. That's cool.
48:48
I, I the, the people that I talked to, they were already
48:54
well aware that the company was going out of business.
48:59
So all I had to say to them was all I had to say to them was
49:05
that I got let go because of the cuts, which is to an extent is
49:12
true. The only reason they fired me
49:14
was so they didn't have to pay me that severance.
49:16
That part is true, but that part is very much so true.
49:29
Jesus. Hey, I'll send you guys the
49:35
video. Hell yeah.
49:39
We can post it on our Facebook, yeah.
49:44
We're not going to do that. Because who is who is we?
49:50
You. Guys may not have heard this,
49:52
but all of the activities that I just talked about were all that
49:54
you did. And consensual, allegedly.
49:59
Allegedly consensual. Yeah, exactly.
50:07
Allegedly consensual. I think that's going to be the
50:11
title for this episode. Oh no.
50:16
Episode 22 allegedly consensual. That won't get us listened.
50:23
I don't think the listens we want.
50:25
No, no. They'll think it's about the
50:31
Epstein shooter something. Oh no.
50:35
God damn it. Did you guys hear about GTA6
50:40
wanting to take your having you show your or you scan your
50:44
fucking license over before you play?
50:49
I mean, it's not just them. There's a lot of platforms that
50:53
it's started doing that. I tell you what, I will not be
50:58
playing that game and I was so excited for it.
51:02
Yeah. So some of the like major
51:05
platforms like PlayStation, Discord, couple of things like
51:11
that, they're one to start to do like age verification where you
51:15
have to upload like proof of age essentially.
51:21
So driver's license, any photo ID that's got your date on it or
51:28
they'll do age of recognition based off of a photo.
51:32
So like you have to have a webcam and they take picture to
51:35
face determine your approximate age to what you do play like
51:41
mature games on discord. It's but to be in like some of
51:47
the servers, they're age restricted and things like that.
51:50
And then when they do is like a safety measure.
51:53
So, you know, kids can't go and do shit that they're not
51:58
supposed to do or be in channels that they're not supposed to be
52:01
in. Game game like GTA, where you
52:05
can do the shit that you can do. That is not something my
52:09
driver's license associated with.
52:12
Yeah, no, it's, it's fucking stupid and it's literally just a
52:17
way to fucking collect your information.
52:20
Because when Discord got in a bunch of hot water for this,
52:26
because they use a third party as their verification and it was
52:32
like a year ago, something like that, a lot of that got hacked
52:36
and a lot of people's information got fucking put out
52:39
there. There's some sites they're doing
52:44
it like kind of correct. Well, they'll they'll like age
52:49
base it essentially. So if you've had Discord for
52:52
like 10 years, then they'll like take when you signed up, they'll
52:57
take like what information you put in.
52:59
They'll be like, OK, this dude is probably, you know, over 18
53:05
because he's been on this platform for X number of years.
53:08
He was this age when he signed up.
53:11
So some like long time users aren't having to do some of
53:16
those like security firewalls. But yeah, there's just, there's
53:21
not a good way to implement it because all that they say that
53:26
it's all just going to get verified on the spot and then
53:29
get deleted on the back end. So they never retain everything.
53:33
However, that's never actually the fucking case.
53:39
So Oh no, it's just fucking stupid.
53:49
My, my headphones are alerting me that they're going to die.
53:56
So I am going to hop off all right, because I don't know what
54:03
the, what the sound quality. I I, I know I wouldn't be able
54:06
to hear you that well if I didn't have on that itself.
54:09
Well, Congrats on finding your forest fungus penis.
54:14
Your singular one dude. Fucking it's I don't.
54:19
Know if it's better or if it's worse that I drove an hour to
54:24
find fucking one Morel mushroom like I don't know.
54:31
I just really hope when you get home and cut into it, it's not
54:34
bad. It's something else.
54:38
I eat it and I die. He goes on a four day fucking
54:42
hallucinogenic trip. Oh.
54:46
It's hollow. So it is a morale, which is
54:48
cool, yeah. Oh, you have to listen now all.
54:57
Right boys, you guys stay sweet out there.
55:01
Oh yeah, I love you. Bye.
55:03
Bye. Now that that asshole is gone.
55:13
Just the two of us. I.
55:20
Feel like there's going to be 100% increase in the overall
55:23
audio quality. Oh 100% I I really hope we don't
55:32
have to fucking scrap this episode because of the first
55:35
like 20 minutes if you can't hear anybody talking over Jimmy
55:40
fucking stomping around in the woods.
55:44
Yeah, I should be able to. I mean, our editor should be
55:48
able to to make that work. Yeah, he's really gaffed to earn
55:52
his paycheck on this one. Wait, we're.
55:56
Paying him. Scratch that from the record.
56:06
Editor edit that part out and also go fuck yourself.
56:11
Exactly. I thought you were getting
56:13
something out of this. No.
56:18
No, no, we don't even pay our fucking T-shirt guy.
56:24
He just, he just does it for the love of the.
56:26
Game have T-shirt guy. Yeah, we do.
56:29
T-shirt. Name's Alex.
56:31
We have T-shirt ideas because T-shirts are expensive.
56:34
Yes, they are. Fine, fine.
56:37
We don't even pay our T-shirt idea guy.
56:39
I think that would be we should give him a title.
56:43
What fucking graphic design weed.
56:45
Yeah, that's what I said. T-shirt idea guy.
56:52
He made a whole line of Mike's ex-wife merch.
56:57
Really, more than just the fucking hamless zombies.
57:03
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, there was coffee mugs.
57:05
You have not shared. Those hammocks.
57:09
I, I would, I would give banana hammock of your ex-wife and I'll
57:16
join that long list of guys that have had her down there.
57:23
I don't know if the list is that long.
57:27
I mean it was more than one. So sorry buddy, I know that
57:31
would probably hurt. I mean, I have no, I have no
57:38
opinions on this matter because I don't give a fuck very well.
57:50
Damn, now I got to go fucking find this dumb bullshit because
57:56
I swear to God you've seen it. I.
58:00
Bet. Promise you I have not.
58:06
Well God damn we have so much bullshit saved in this chat.
58:11
Yeah. No, we really do.
58:13
There's like. A metric shit ton of shit.
58:17
Where the fuck did he send me that at?
58:20
I almost said his last name when I was typing it.
58:22
That would have been awkward, Alex.
58:25
You're welcome. Here it is.
58:28
Yeah, no, it's not saved in welcome group chat, so.
58:33
All right. I will share with the class very
58:39
well as soon as I remember how to do phone things that one
58:44
done. Technical disabilities.
58:47
Technical. I'm dumb over to this.
58:54
And then click one of them. And for all of you, sweet,
58:58
sweet. People, what are you doing?
59:00
Who are listening on your drive to work?
59:05
I'm sorry you have to listen to me stupidly fucking click
59:10
through this shit. So this is the line of thought.
59:18
You were just going to send. I love it.
59:31
I kind of want one of the coffee mugs.
59:34
I want one of the banana hammocks.
59:38
Of course you do. That would be a great fucking
59:43
talking point. You imagine me going out,
59:46
picking to grow up and coming back home, drop in my pants and
59:50
she's like what the fuck is that?
59:56
What are those? My sandals.
1:00:00
That's my banana hammock. My banana.
1:00:02
The fuck is Mike's ex-wife? Oh, I'm glad you asked.
1:00:06
Buckle up, there's fucking Lord of this shit.
1:00:11
How to not get laid with Gavin? I'm already not getting laid if
1:00:18
who gives a shit? Bring some chick home from the
1:00:21
bar and then Charlie Day style explain the lore of Mike's
1:00:25
ex-wife for like 4 hours. Fuck just that shit's broken.
1:00:36
Oh same if somebody decided we needed to buy $40 fucking
1:00:43
podcast kits and they're falling apart.
1:00:50
Mine's not, I'm fucking rough on your shit.
1:00:55
I'm Kevin, I take care of my things.
1:00:58
Fuck you. See.
1:01:00
Yeah, fuck you. This is why I hate you guys.
1:01:03
All of you fucking analysts and operators.
1:01:06
Like I was a maintenance guy. I had to deal with you guys
1:01:10
fucking everything up. Oh hey, Speaking of, can you fix
1:01:15
this when you're here in a couple days?
1:01:20
I mean, fucking probably, but I'm a bitch about it the whole
1:01:22
time. I don't.
1:01:25
I don't think so because like I, I broke the plastic.
1:01:28
Yeah, that's fine. I can fix that.
1:01:33
And on that note, Gavin's going to be at my house in a couple
1:01:36
days. So next week's episode, Gavin
1:01:40
and I are both going to be in my basement, coming to you live
1:01:45
from a basement in somewhere. And we're going to figure out
1:01:50
that fucking camera angle because it's going to be fun.
1:01:55
What do you mean there's room for two people there?
1:02:04
I guess that works. Yeah, I'm.
1:02:08
Going to have to order one of those.
1:02:10
Mike's ex-wife by Hannah but by Hannah but Hannah Bamex banana
1:02:14
Mama. Yeah, sorry, it's been, dude,
1:02:23
it's been a fucking wild week. And I'm like, I don't know, man.
1:02:29
Like there were considerable stretches where I would sit down
1:02:33
and like, I would check in with myself because when I remember
1:02:37
to do it, that's a super valuable fucking tool to
1:02:40
exercise in your toolbox. And I would realize that I am in
1:02:45
fact, like, not, not OK. And then I realized that my #1
1:02:56
go to thing is still to use incredibly fucking dark humor,
1:03:05
but make sure it's fucking funny.
1:03:07
So people are like, oh, wow, that was funny.
1:03:09
But buddy, you can't say that out loud.
1:03:12
Oh no. But it was funny.
1:03:15
So I think it was a joke, 'cause like, it's not a fucking cry for
1:03:20
help. It's.
1:03:22
Just saying 100% is a fucking cry for help.
1:03:25
It's saying the things out loud so that I hear them and
1:03:29
acknowledge where I'm actually at and go OK.
1:03:33
I'm not OK, but I'm not. I'm not really bad yet.
1:03:39
I'm still at a point where it's manageable.
1:03:43
I can decompress this one on the drive home.
1:03:49
Yeah, yeah. That's when I say The funny
1:03:52
thing and then don't laugh about it and go, Oh no, that.
1:03:56
Oh, that one hurt. That was more than just a joke.
1:04:00
OK guys, I got, I got. I got to go.
1:04:02
I I got to go. I might be back tomorrow, but
1:04:09
not like that. Like they might put me in the
1:04:10
pillow room. Yeah, now you know that's
1:04:18
bullshit though. It 100% as a cry for help, but
1:04:21
as long as it's funny nobody gives a shit.
1:04:27
Yeah, but I feel like a cry for help would welcome intervention
1:04:35
or like the underlying intent there is for external
1:04:37
intervention. Woman, you do have that at some
1:04:42
point I. Think for for me at this point
1:04:48
it's still more like spicy venting.
1:04:53
It's saying the real shit out loud but it's still funny
1:04:57
because I I don't want the intervention but I need to say
1:05:02
the things out loud because it makes me feel better about it.
1:05:05
Here's the thing though. Part of you does because you
1:05:08
keep showing up to this fucking podcast every week.
1:05:11
And the whole point of this was to get together with the boys
1:05:17
and just need a blow off steam, talk about dumb shit or talk
1:05:20
about real shit. Yeah, so part of you, yeah, you
1:05:26
might not want somebody. You fucking sit down, looky in
1:05:30
the eyes and be like, hey, you fucking OK?
1:05:34
But we work up to that. Well, I mean, so if well
1:05:42
starters, you're not wrong. And if if you were to
1:05:47
legitimately sit down and ask me that question, my answer would
1:05:50
be honestly mostly. And I think the only way that I
1:06:03
really get to mostly is that, no, I'm not OK, but I'm not in
1:06:10
danger and I'm not trending toward being in danger just
1:06:15
right now I'm not OK. But I also recognize that that
1:06:21
is very much a right now problem and that problem will pass.
1:06:31
Yeah, but. How many times have you left
1:06:39
that problem just pass? Because it doesn't just go away.
1:06:45
You don't just get past it without, you know, taking
1:06:50
someone with you. It's kind of like a fucking
1:06:54
snowball rolling down the hill, right?
1:06:57
And starts going. And yeah, it's good for a little
1:07:00
bit, but it's still going to pick up some of that shit and it
1:07:04
might break off and leave some of it behind, but it's going to
1:07:09
accumulate and it's just going to keep getting more and more,
1:07:13
even if you don't think it is. Because eventually there's going
1:07:17
to become a problem when you're not OK and it doesn't pass.
1:07:25
And then it's not just that one problem in the moment, all the
1:07:31
other shit they've slowly been taken pieces of is all going to
1:07:35
come up with that same point. Yeah, that is, that is the
1:07:45
cycle. I know I've been there many
1:07:49
times. Someday, someday we'll all be
1:07:52
healthy enough to not strap into that fucking roller coaster seat
1:07:58
and actually deal with all of the things as they come up in a
1:08:02
way that's healthy. I.
1:08:08
But I feel like hope so I feel like the mindfuck there, at
1:08:13
least for me, is that like, I haven't done anything.
1:08:21
I haven't done anything with respect to trying to shake the
1:08:27
on like on mission mentality where like, unless it's super
1:08:34
bad and I have to deal with it right, God damn.
1:08:36
Now it's something that I can deal with when I can deal with
1:08:42
it, but that just feeds into the roller coaster.
1:08:47
It's that piece of the military. It's the compartmentalization
1:08:52
they teach you. It's OK, Cool, you've got the
1:08:55
mission. Everything else isn't a fuck
1:08:58
priority right now. Some shit comes up, you stuff
1:09:02
inside the fucking box and you deal with it.
1:09:04
I'm back in and that's. Thank God I have 17 more years
1:09:10
of mission before Barrett's 18. I don't have to deal with this
1:09:14
shit for almost 2 decades. That's a.
1:09:18
Joke. What the fuck just happened?
1:09:25
GoPro die or did the stand like fuck itself?
1:09:29
No, it what the fuck? Is it movies for?
1:09:33
Those of you not watching. Susan, I get off.
1:09:43
You don't, you speak her fucking name.
1:09:46
And I'm only saying that because you beat me to the joke before I
1:09:49
got there. Apparently I have a invisible
1:09:52
videographer. Because if you're not watching
1:09:57
and you're listening on your drive to work, what is happening
1:10:00
is I I've flung my right arm out and my GoPro that has been
1:10:07
mounted in roughly the same fucking place on my monitor the
1:10:11
whole fucking time, followed my arm way off to screen, left
1:10:21
screen, right. I wasn't a theater kid.
1:10:24
Fuck off stage left whatever and is now slowly reorienting
1:10:33
itself, but I don't see the mount moving.
1:10:43
It just did it again. And it just shot all the way the
1:10:45
fuck over to the right. Wow.
1:10:48
This is if you're listening to this and not watching.
1:10:52
I drive to work, pull over, pull over, wherever you are, and when
1:10:57
whoever's mad at you for being late to work, tell them that the
1:11:00
Three Damn Dudes podcast was more important than muster or
1:11:04
formation or being to work on time.
1:11:08
Because this is fucking weird. I don't know what's going on,
1:11:12
but my GoPro might be dying and that's really going to, that's
1:11:15
really going to fuck me up. It's because the next thing I
1:11:18
plan on buying is a drum set and not a fucking GoPro.
1:11:22
Oh, sorry to listeners for the hard fucking left out of the
1:11:26
real shit that we were getting into because we got heavily
1:11:30
fucking distracted. But is is the actual camera
1:11:34
moving or is it the fucking video that?
1:11:37
It's just the video shooting. Let's see, because it's.
1:11:41
About to reorient itself. Last time it did it fucking 2.
1:11:48
1. Go.
1:11:52
It's still moving. Go.
1:11:53
So damn it, I feel like it's farther than it normally is now.
1:11:59
No, because you can usually see part of the Afghan.
1:12:02
There it is. There it goes.
1:12:03
There it is, there it goes. All right.
1:12:05
All righty. But yeah, Gavin, you got any
1:12:10
save rounds or alibis? Don't be an asshole.
1:12:15
And you know, sometimes it's OK to not be OK.
1:12:22
There it is, nailed it. All right, like resetting
1:12:27
yourself of us your saved rounds.
1:12:31
Oh God. Hey, Jimmy's.
1:12:32
Back Hey Jimmy, wait, what the fuck is going on?
1:12:36
Yeah, what happened because. Just just watch.
1:12:39
Just watch. You see how you don't see my
1:12:41
face yet? I see your face.
1:12:44
Oh, just wait. It's almost there.
1:12:53
There we go. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
1:12:56
There we. Go.
1:12:56
There we go. What the fuck is going on?
1:13:04
What? Are you fucking with me right
1:13:07
now? Everything looks normal.
1:13:10
Bullshit. Fucking you're on your phone,
1:13:14
you can't record anything. Do you not see his fucking
1:13:19
camera moving? OK, let's let's fucking cut this
1:13:22
episode and troubleshoot it later.
1:13:24
Oh, that's what, OK, I'm recording right now.
1:13:27
So that's what we're talking about.
1:13:28
Is that your camera's just listening around a little?
1:13:30
Bit, yes, yeah. We're freaking out about that.
1:13:35
No, wait, wait, wait for it. All right, So I'm sorry for the
1:13:39
listeners. You're going to have to hang out
1:13:40
for for just a little bit longer.
1:13:43
But Jimmy, do you? Yeah.
1:13:44
See. See.
1:13:45
OK, OK. OK.
1:13:47
All right. Yeah, all.
1:13:49
Right. So for the listeners, it's doing
1:13:51
this panoramic type special effects surveying, Mike from
1:13:56
side to side. This is your GoPro.
1:14:01
Yep, yeah. And it's not on a SWIP swivel.
1:14:06
No. Do you?
1:14:08
It's got to be in your settings. Not going to have something
1:14:12
going on. You didn't fuck with anything.
1:14:13
We just. Randomly started doing it, yeah.
1:14:16
Jimmy, do your sign off so we can kill this fucking episode
1:14:20
and we can figure this shit out later.
1:14:22
Is the episode over? Yeah, we're cutting it short to
1:14:25
fucking figure this out. Did I miss?
1:14:27
We already got it next week. You got the tea up for next
1:14:31
week, but we're going to talk about some spicy shit next week.
1:14:34
Yeah, OK. We're Did I miss anything good?
1:14:40
No. I do.
1:14:41
We don't even know if we're going to fucking use this
1:14:43
episode so. Yeah, I don't know if this one's
1:14:46
going to make it or. Not man, Not quite.
1:14:49
Well, I should be available tomorrow so all.
1:14:53
Right. All right, all right, K Love
1:14:56
you. Bye.
1:14:59
Fucking hang on for Gavin, for Jimmy.
1:15:03
I'm Mike and this has been another fucking shit show of an
1:15:06
episode. It's just so I can did it again.
1:15:10
Thanks for listening to the Three Damn Dudes podcast.
1:15:13
K love you. Bye.
1:15:14
K love you. Bye.