Latest / Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for People Pleasers / 46: Cultivating Happiness: The Society Of Happy Things with Kent Casper-Martineau

Transcript

46: Cultivating Happiness: The Society Of Happy Things with Kent Casper-Martineau · Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for People Pleasers

• 0:20
  So hello and welcome back.
• 0:22
  I have Kent Casper Martino on the show.
• 0:24
  He's been here before.
• 0:25
  So welcome back Kent.
• 0:27
  Thank you.
• 0:27
  It's great to be back.
• 0:29
  So Kent and I met about five or six months ago and he was telling me a couple months back about this really great idea that he had called the Society of Happy Things.
• 0:39
  So do you wanna tell us a bit about what that is, Kent?
• 0:42
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 0:43
  Long story short, society of Happy things.
• 0:46
  It's gonna be a community and a movement for positivity.
• 0:50
  We just want to make the world a happier place, and we wanna do it by starting with ourselves.
• 0:54
  We're going to, start with like a core group of people in the society who will be doing a podcast.
• 1:00
  We are going to, Be adopting scientifically proven habits that make you happier, or I should say habits that are scientifically proven to make you happier.
• 1:10
  And then we're going to do those things for a month.
• 1:13
  We're gonna come back after a month and discuss what it was like to do that firsthand, and then enjoy, invite everyone else to do it as well.
• 1:24
  I love it.
• 1:24
  Yeah, so when Kent first told me about this idea, he's like, wait, I just kinda just wanna throw this idea out to you.
• 1:29
  And I was like, yes.
• 1:29
  Like I'm in, count me in.
• 1:31
  So I'm like so much fun because as we've talked about here on the podcast multiple times, like life is 50 50, we're gonna have the positive and the negative.
• 1:39
  But being in intentional about which part of that 50 50 you're gonna focus on that really truly does impact how you feel.
• 1:46
  So I love the idea about having these little things that you can do just for five to 10 minutes a day.
• 1:51
  That can create these big shifts just by shifting your intention, just a tiny bit more towards creating that happiness.
• 1:58
  And I also really appreciated his vision around having a diverse group of people.
• 2:03
  So his vision was to have people of diverse backgrounds, diverse experiences with this shared intention of coming together with that mutual goal of creating more happiness.
• 2:13
  And I kind of love that idea, cuz.
• 2:15
  it really spoke to me that, you know, when I listen to various podcasts, there's different people that resonate with me, but I love the idea of bringing together this variety of people so that no matter who is listening, there's going to be somebody on this panel that is going to resonate with them and speak to them.
• 2:31
  And I just really loved that vision as well.
• 2:33
  So, Yeah, that's the hope.
• 2:35
  we all said and done.
• 2:37
  We hope to have like eight to 12 people on this panel and hopefully there's somebody in there that every single person from any walk of life resonates to.
• 2:46
  So far we have six.
• 2:48
  Mm-hmm And they seem awesome.
• 2:50
  They are some real superstars, so I'm excited for everyone to meet them and hopefully, These six people were, were able to get a lot of people to connect and hoping to get even more as we mm-hmm.
• 3:05
  Add to the group.
• 3:06
  Yeah.
• 3:07
  And so we're gonna be having this podcast where Kent and I are both gonna be a part of that panel as well as some other life coaches and a psychologist so it's gonna be a really fun group.
• 3:16
  And then, you can listen on the podcast, but then there's also going to be a Facebook community where people can contribute their experiences as well.
• 3:23
  Right?
• 3:23
  Yes.
• 3:24
  That's right.
• 3:25
  we're hoping to have every one of the core members of the society spend a decent amount of time on the social media interacting with everybody.
• 3:33
  Mm-hmm.
• 3:33
  who's in the society.
• 3:35
  We really want it to make, be a community, not just a podcast.
• 3:38
  the point of the podcast is to reach the community.
• 3:42
  Mm-hmm.
• 3:42
  And for all of us to share the same goals.
• 3:45
  So we're gonna be spending time on social media, probably mostly Facebook, but I mean, it's gonna be other places like Instagram.
• 3:52
  Mm-hmm.
• 3:52
  YouTube probably.
• 3:54
  we'll see where else we branch out to, but for starters, we're gonna start there and, yeah, come, come talk with us.
• 4:01
  Come talk with your favorite people.
• 4:03
  Cause.
• 4:05
  I mean, there's gonna be that one person who like really has a similar walk to life as you and mm-hmm.
• 4:11
  You know, just enjoy being with each other.
• 4:16
  Yep.
• 4:16
  I love that.
• 4:16
  So right now the Facebook group is currently up and running and that is called the Society of Happy Things, right?
• 4:22
  Mm-hmm.
• 4:23
  So they can head on over right now and join that group and then the podcast, what date is that going to drop?
• 4:29
  So we haven't planned to come out on July 7th, and I feel reasonably sure that that should stick so, Right.
• 4:37
  So yeah, so you can find it on all the major podcasting platforms and go and subscribe now.
• 4:43
  Um, you heard the trailer for it last week if you were listening, but yeah, you can find the trailer so you can be subscribed and know right when that drops.
• 4:49
  And also, yeah, joining on the Facebook community can be super fun.
• 4:52
  So, Yeah, I'm really excited to get to know people on a different level and to have those experiences with people.
• 4:58
  And I thought it would be fun too, to kinda just talk about the diverse people on the group and their experiences.
• 5:02
  We're gonna have a panel of a psychologist, a bunch of life coaches, and they all have experiences and, uh, breath work.
• 5:09
  There's gonna be men on there, women on there, empty nesters, newlyweds.
• 5:12
  and everybody in between, there's gonna be those that are religious, those recovering from religious trauma, people into yoga, high adventure, experience with special needs and various mental health issues.
• 5:22
  And so I think gonna find somebody that can resonate with you exactly where you're at.
• 5:28
  So tell us a bit more, Kent, about what has your happiness journey looked like?
• 5:31
  Like what drew you down this path?
• 5:35
  Oh, that's a good question.
• 5:37
  I would say that my journey of happiness has a lot to do with a crisis of identity.
• 5:43
  Mm-hmm.
• 5:45
  Growing up I lived for my parents and I'm sure there's probably a lot of kids, who grew up that way.
• 5:51
  Mm-hmm.
• 5:52
  Probably particularly ones in religious households, or just parents with high expectations.
• 5:56
  My parents were both.
• 5:57
  Mm-hmm.
• 6:00
  Especially the expectations part was difficult, Tommy, because they expected me, cuz I was the oldest to be there for my siblings to help around the house.
• 6:09
  my father, Kind of checked out of the family, at least emotionally and a lot of the times in presence, uh, even though my parents weren't divorced.
• 6:20
  And so I took the burden upon myself for fathering my own siblings to an extent, because that was what my mom wanted.
• 6:29
  So, I lived a lot for my family and for my parents and not much for me.
• 6:34
  And you know, I got about to my junior year of high school realizing I couldn't answer questions that other people were asking me, like, what's your favorite music?
• 6:46
  Hmm.
• 6:47
  I had never taken any time to explore my own identity and do anything, because I wanted to really and so, For me it all started one birthday where my mom, she gave me a leather, cuff, leather wristband, and she said, I hope you liked it and that it can help you be unique and stand out at school.
• 7:13
  And I did actually like it very, very much.
• 7:15
  And.
• 7:16
  That was a real gift to me more because of what it meant.
• 7:20
  She wanted me to be myself and to do something for me, and I felt like that was the first time I ever had permission to do that for my parents.
• 7:29
  And so that really started a journey for me of learning how to be happy because I mean, I was happy serving all these people, but I wasn't necessarily happy in the sense that, I was doing anything for me.
• 7:44
  And I mean, that's, that's a, a balance that every person needs to strike.
• 7:49
  I love that.
• 7:50
  I think that's gonna resonate with a lot of people here on the podcast cuz this is the podcast for the helpers, the healers, and the people pleasers.
• 7:56
  And that's been my main goal is to help to create something that is more sustainable for people in that helper role and in the people pleaser role.
• 8:04
  And so I think that's really gonna resonate with a lot of people about, your journey of.
• 8:09
  Doing things for other people to create happiness for other people, but recognizing that that really wasn't creating the happiness and joy that you were seeking.
• 8:17
  And I think for a lot of people that kind of can lead to, at least for me, I know it can lead to, resentment, compassion fatigue, and burnout, which is the opposite of happiness.
• 8:26
  So I love the idea of increasing your own personal happiness.
• 8:30
  Because it helps us to make our level of loving and serving more sustainable when we're out in the world, and it actually does increase the happiness of all of those around us.
• 8:39
  It's a completely different feeling when we're loving and serving with our own cup being filled versus trying to fill our cup by constantly pouring into others.
• 8:49
  So I love that about intentionally turning inward to create that for yourself and to give yourself that permission to create happiness for self.
• 8:59
  Absolutely.
• 9:00
  And I would say that since then it's, it's been a good journey.
• 9:05
  I am a lot happier than I used to be as a teenager.
• 9:08
  Mm-hmm.
• 9:08
  And as a young adult, I mean, I might still be a young adult.
• 9:11
  I just turned 30 this year.
• 9:12
  But I guess that's a perspective thing.
• 9:14
  But, uh, yeah, absolutely.
• 9:17
  So, I love it.
• 9:19
  So what are some of the examples of things that people might see on the podcast?
• 9:23
  Or how are we going to decide what experiences we're going to try as a group?
• 9:29
  Ooh.
• 9:30
  Okay.
• 9:30
  So, we're gonna be trying all sorts of different things.
• 9:33
  The goal is to have, things that people can do within five to 10 minutes once a day.
• 9:38
  Mm-hmm.
• 9:39
  We're gonna be basically doing the toothbrush philosophy, uh, brush your teeth up for a couple minutes every day, and long term they stay healthy and clean, right?
• 9:49
  Mm-hmm.
• 9:49
  So we're gonna be doing a little bit every day to increase your happiness, and those little things will make a very big difference over a long period of time.
• 9:59
  So, it's gonna be things like maybe taking a walk outside for 15 minutes.
• 10:07
  some people on the podcast, I mean, we're gonna be introducing a thing once a month and it's gonna come from each member of the podcast.
• 10:13
  And so everyone's got different interests, different, things that they're reading, different things that they're trying.
• 10:19
  Some people are probably gonna end up bringing breath work one month.
• 10:22
  Someone else is probably gonna bring journaling.
• 10:25
  You know, there's gonna be a lot there and I'm super excited for it.
• 10:31
  So we might find something that just resonates with us where it's like, hey, like, sure, I'll give that a try.
• 10:35
  Like maybe I've never really considered, doing breath work, but having a space where I can try that out as a newbie in a community to see the impact.
• 10:46
  And just committing to something that just takes five to 10 minutes every day for one month, it helps it to feel so doable.
• 10:51
  Sometimes it can feel really daunting when somebody's like, Hey, we're gonna like go and do this thing and you have to commit to a whole month.
• 10:57
  But having it be something that's intentionally five to 10 minutes a day, it can really help things to feel very doable.
• 11:03
  I think everybody can squeeze in five to 10 minutes of Yeah.
• 11:06
  Positive intention.
• 11:09
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 11:11
  And I think that having a community doing it with you is going to really help.
• 11:14
  Mm-hmm.
• 11:15
  especially if you're active in the community and you're on the group and you're sharing your experiences and your commenting and stuff, you're gonna make some friends and you guys can talk with each other about how.
• 11:26
  It's going for you and how it's affecting your life.
• 11:28
  It might be good and like some practices may not really do much at all, but you know, we're gonna try a lot of different things and hopefully everyone finds at least a few things that work f great for them, that they can keep.
• 11:43
  And I think it can potentially be a really great conversation starter too.
• 11:46
  Like this is something that you could absolutely do with your friends, with your family, with your coworkers, to just say, Hey, you guys wanna try this out?
• 11:52
  Like, this is what I'm gonna try out for a month and see what it looks like.
• 11:55
  And also allowing that space for.
• 11:58
  Maybe you don't do it every single day, but this isn't a pass fail.
• 12:01
  This is a hundred percent.
• 12:02
  Everything you do is just gravy, right?
• 12:03
  Mm-hmm.
• 12:04
  If it can make you feel a little bit better, if you're only able to do it three days a week, or four or five days a week, you can't do a full seven days a week, that's totally fine.
• 12:11
  But to try out these things and just test them and see, okay, like what do I wanna keep in my life?
• 12:17
  What has made a big difference for me?
• 12:19
  How can I continue to incorporate it and what things do I want to maybe just be like, okay, well that was a fun experience, but I'm done with that one now.
• 12:25
  But really finding and experimenting with what truly resonates with me and what helps to increase my personal happiness as well.
• 12:33
  That's right.
• 12:34
  Yeah.
• 12:35
  And I love the idea of it just being a little thing, cuz it's, it's really truly those little things that have the big payout at the end.
• 12:40
  You know, just investing a few minutes a day into your health and wellness or into positive thinking or affirmations or these little tiny things that seem like little tiny things.
• 12:50
  And sometimes you think, oh, it's not that big of a deal, so I don't think I'm really gonna do it.
• 12:55
  It's kind of like, okay, if I had a goal to do, I don't know, let's say, let's say 50 pushups a day.
• 13:00
  Mm-hmm.
• 13:01
  And then I was like, well, I just don't feel like doing 50 pushups today.
• 13:03
  It's like, okay, well I can do 10, I can do 10 pushups today, and that still is 10 more pushups than I would've done.
• 13:09
  That's right.
• 13:11
  Like, you know what, like praise yourself.
• 13:12
  Whatever good you can do to increase your personal level of happiness and to be able to do that with a community, I think is something that.
• 13:20
  We've really been seeking.
• 13:23
  I know for me personally, you know, especially during covid, it's kind of like I'm kind of rebuilding a community after having that time of isolation.
• 13:31
  And so I love that this is something, the, the community aspect is something that really appealed to me personally.
• 13:37
  Yeah, I'm super excited for that bit.
• 13:39
  I'm super excited just to get to meet everyone who comes along, whoever that may be.
• 13:46
  I'm excited to make some friends and to work on all of this together because I mean, we help each other, right?
• 13:53
  Yep, absolutely.
• 13:55
  Well thank you for being here Kent.
• 13:57
  And so just as a reminder to everybody, you can find the Society of Happy Things.
• 14:01
  There is a Facebook group for the Society of Happy Things, as well as the podcast that is on all of the major platforms.
• 14:07
  And I will link all of those in the show notes and as we get building this community on other platforms, then I'll let you know about that as well.
• 14:14
  So thank you so much for being here, Kent.
• 14:16
  I'm excited to work with you on this new project.
• 14:18
  Yeah.
• 14:19
  Thank you for having me.
• 14:20
  All right.
• 14:20
  Have a great week everybody.
• 14:21
  Talk to you later.
• 14:22
  Bye.