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Solo with Alyse - How I Transformed My Relationship to Step into $50k then $100k Months · Reclaiming Consciousness

0:02
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: My name is Elise Bassine, spiritual mentor, breastwork practitioner, and owner and CEO of Elise Breeds.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: Right now, during this epic time in history, people are waking up, realizing who they really are, and reclaiming the pieces of their consciousness that they unknowingly gave away.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: This podcast is an exploration of how so many spectacular humans are leading the way in exiting the matrix and reclaiming who they really are and what they're capable of.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: In this show, you'll meet exceptional people who are paving the way in raising consciousness and creating a new way of living on this earth.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: Get ready to go deep.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: Now let's dive in.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: So this episode is a solo episode that I have been meaning to record for so long, but I'm really happy that I waited to today to record it.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: I actually just recorded it like five minutes ago.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: But this is a vulnerable share.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: It's straight from my heart.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: And it really is just an illustration of what's possible and how true transformation can occur and how when we decide we're going to transform one area of our lives, everything else has to come with it.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: And this is just an illustration of what I went through and what I like to say I was initiated into when I declared that I was going to step into 50K months back in 2021.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: And I just tell the story of how I was called into completely transforming my relationship with my husband and how we really both um stepped forward and did the work to create a different version of our relationship.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: And I just want to say, I don't think I said it enough in here, but I just want to like acknowledge my husband, Matt, who I know some of you know just for really unabashedly showing up for himself and for me and for our relationship.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: Cause I know that, you know, this personal growth work is not something that he might have necessarily done at this level had it not been for me and what I do and our relationship.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: But he very bravely and courageously dove in headfirst because of our family and our connection and his commitment to himself as well.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: So I just really wanted to like honor him and say that he's amazing and I love him so much.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: And I'm getting emotional relationships, especially relationships that are long term are not always easy.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: And um, one thing that I learned in this process is that they require us to choose it every day.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: You know, a marriage, like we're coming up on 10 years in March that we'll be married and together for 14.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: A marriage is something that you choose every day.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: And I always say that because um the day that you stop choosing it is when it stops working.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: And even though it's hard, and even though there are things about the other person that drive you nuts, and even though there's things about the other person that you wish were different, you still choose it because you're choosing that you're gonna grow with this person and you are gonna continue to become a better version of yourself so that that person can become a better person of themselves and vice versa.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, this is really not only a story that will like illustrate what it means to grow inside a business and a relationship, but also just to show you what's possible, even you know, with somebody who's not necessarily super into personal transformation, right?
4:04
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, so I share this story.
4:05
SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoy it.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: And just as far as announcements go, my program, The High Priestess, is in Early Bird right now.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: It's only 597 for four weeks with me, where I activate and ignite the energy of the High Priestess within you, just igniting your power, your abilities to heal, your abilities to be an alchemist with energy.
4:28
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be so powerful.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: Last time I ran this, women started channeling light language.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: They connected with their cosmic guides, they activated their starseed energy, they healed the mother wound.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: Like it's everything.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: It's everything.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: So that is just such a great way to get into my energy for a smaller investment.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: And then also I have my high-level mentorship container available right now called Rise.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: And this really is your invitation to rise up and do things completely differently.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: Leave the old stories behind, leave the old version of you behind, and step into a completely new, elevated version of yourself.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: Um, I only have three spaces and I've had a lot of people reach out to me.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: So um reach out to me to see if we're a fit and if you'd like to get all the details about that.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: And also, Costa Rica, sign up now.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna fill.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: Definitely put your deposit down.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: It's only$525, the deposit to hold your space.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: So, like if you know you want to go, just take the plunge and do it now before you lose your space.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: So, with that being said, I'm sending you so much love and enjoy the episode.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: Hi, everyone.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: So, this episode is definitely a long time coming.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: I've been saying that I wanted to record an episode about this for a really long time.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: But it's just one of those things where it's like, okay, when am I actually doing this?
5:56
SPEAKER_00: Because it's a big deal to sit down and share all that has gone on for me since basically the summer of 2021.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: And I really feel so passionately about sharing this with you because it really makes such a difference in your path when you understand how everything is related.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: And I always say that the way you show up in your intimate relationships, and it doesn't matter if you have a partner or not, but just the way you show up in your relationships in general has a direct effect on the way you're showing up in your business, if you have one, or the way you're showing up in your life, um, because it also is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: And I always say what we're truly doing when we go down the path of personal growth work is we're changing the relationship with ourselves so that you can start to experience your life and your world differently.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: Let's go back to the spring of 2021.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: I started my business in 2020, right?
7:08
SPEAKER_00: And then um, I ended up quitting my full-time job in December of 2020.
7:13
SPEAKER_00: So starting in 2021, I was full-time in my business starting in January.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: And it was scary.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: I always say this.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: I think what happens when we quit our job is because, and this doesn't always happen, but I've just seen it happen so many times with so many women.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: What happens is once you quit your job, you kind of automatically start recreating the income that you had from your job, just because, like on an energetic level, you're just used to receiving that amount of money.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: So, right after I quit my job, I immediately got two clients that made up the money that I was making at my job, right?
7:53
SPEAKER_00: So that was cool.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: But I also had made some really big business decisions that I was gonna be investing in high-level mentorship.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: And I've done that from the very beginning, you guys.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Like I have never tried to run my business without having high-level one-to-one mentorship.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, I just don't think that that is for me, it's a non-negotiable.
8:17
SPEAKER_00: So basically that covered my mentorship costs, right?
8:21
SPEAKER_00: Those two clients I got.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: But I also had a lot of other expenses.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: Like I invested in the podcast connector to get on podcast because I knew that was a non-negotiable for me.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: And I was really committed to expanding my reach and growing my audience.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: So I invested in that, plus a bunch of other stuff in my business, right?
8:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know how it is.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: There's so many things you have to pay for.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: So the first few months were definitely a little bit scary for me, just as I figured out how I was gonna pay for everything.
8:53
SPEAKER_00: And I started to get, you know, more and more clients.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: But because I continued to make decisions based on where I wanted to be and not where I was, I always say this.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: Like I always made decisions based on the next level I wanted to get to.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: I made decisions as if I was already there, which automatically made me rise to that occasion.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: Like if I would have said, oh, well, I'm not gonna invest in coaching right now because I don't have the money, or oh, I'm not gonna invest in the podcast connector right now because I don't have the money, then that keeps me there.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: That keeps me at that point.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: And that's not where I wanted to be.
9:33
SPEAKER_00: So guess what?
9:34
SPEAKER_00: I made the decision and then I figured it out.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: And I ended up being totally fine.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: But I just share that as an example because I see that as such a mistake that women make of saying, like, okay, well, I'll just do that when like this changes, or once I start making money in my business, then I'll invest in mentorship.
9:54
SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't work like that.
9:56
SPEAKER_00: When you invest in mentorship, that's when your business starts growing.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: It's an energetic thing.
10:01
SPEAKER_00: And I've seen it with myself many times that the more I invest in support with my business, the more I invest in my business, the more money I make.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: So, and I know that to be true so well now that it's just like easy breezy.
10:17
SPEAKER_00: In fact, my one of my mentors, I told her we're about to start a new 12-month package in January.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: And I told her I wanted to pay her more money because I knew that that if I did, I would make more.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: So now I trust that so deeply, but it's just something that is so important for everyone to understand.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, starting in January, you know, I just kept moving forward.
10:39
SPEAKER_00: And then in May, I had my first 30K month of revenue.
10:44
SPEAKER_00: And that was a really big milestone for me.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, holy shit, like this is working, you know, like I'm doing it.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: And now looking back, like that was a lot of money then.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: It's not that much money to me now, but at the time it was like a really huge milestone, and I was super excited about it.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: And then in June of 2021, I had another 30K month.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: And then in uh July, I had a 40K month.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh my gosh, okay, this is amazing.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: Now let's get to 50K.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, obviously, that would be the next thing that we have to do, right?
11:20
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna go to 50K.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: And I was super excited about it.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: And then as soon as I said I wanted to go to 50K months, the universe just fucking hit me with all of this shit.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: That it was just like, okay, you want 50K months.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: Here's what you're gonna have to shift to become the 50K version of Elise.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: Now, let me just break this down for a minute because again, this is something that I see so many women not understand.
11:52
SPEAKER_00: When you say you want something, immediately the universe is gonna show you what you need to face, heal, change, or look at so that you can get there.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: But what ends up happening is most women see it as, oh, well, this is why this can't work, or this is a roadblock, or why does this keep happening?
12:14
SPEAKER_00: Or why do I keep coming up against the same thing?
12:18
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, because you need to move through it powerfully and potently in order to get to the next level, right?
12:26
SPEAKER_00: You need to become a different version of you, because the version of me that got to 30K is a different version of me than getting to 50K.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: I just had to become a different person.
12:39
SPEAKER_00: And for me, the version of me that made 50K months was required to show up differently in my relationship.
12:47
SPEAKER_00: And here's why because how you show up in your relationships is how you show up in your business, is how you show up in your life, right?
12:56
SPEAKER_00: So I was stepping into being a powerhouse in my business, to running a business that made multiple five figures every month.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: I was becoming this like CEO version of myself.
13:10
SPEAKER_00: But then if we go over here to my marriage, which at that point I had been married for eight years or something with my husband for 12, I was a very different version of myself when I got together with him, right?
13:25
SPEAKER_00: I met him when I was 27.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm 41 now.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: So you can imagine at 27, I was a very different version of Elise than I am now, especially the version of me who's started a business and who's had all of this growth, right?
13:41
SPEAKER_00: So immediately I was shown well, if you want to step into the 50K version of you, you're gonna have to show up in your relationship completely differently because I was still playing out so many of the patterns and dynamics that we started playing out when we got together when I was in my 20s.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: And again, this is not wrong.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: It's not like I was doing anything wrong.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: It's just like I needed to up level here because that energy was going to carry over to my business.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: And the way it was showing up in my marriage was not congruent with the version of me that I desired to be in my business.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: And there was a lot going on at this time, right?
14:22
SPEAKER_00: So if you guys remember the summer of 2021, it was an intense time because we had COVID going on, and everybody was going crazy about the whole vaccine thing and whether or not to do it or not, and all of this stuff.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: And you guys have heard me share plenty of times that my husband and I did not agree.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: We did not agree about this at all.
14:47
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not making this episode about this.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm just sharing because it was a really important piece for us that kind of like ignited a flame in our relationship that was like, there was all of this stuff that was already built up that needed to change in our relationship.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: And because we were so polar opposites on that issue, it just ignited something, it set fire to our whole relationship, basically.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: And it was very apparent that our relationship could not go on the way that it was going on.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: And the other piece of that is that I was now being required to stand in my power in the relationship in a way that I never had before.
15:37
SPEAKER_00: And that's part of the growth process of what I was shifting into, of showing up in my power in my relationship.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: Because just to like back it up a little bit, you guys know that a lot of what I teach is about how we recreate our relationship dynamics with our parents or the relationship dynamics that we witness our parents have with each other, how we play those out in relationships.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: You will do that a hundred percent until you get conscious about it and shift it consciously.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: That's just how it works because we recreate what was modeled to us until we consciously shift it.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: So basically, one of the patterns that I was playing out with my husband is the pattern that I had with my mother, where my mother was narcissistic, love her so much.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: She's amazing, but she was, and she would have like these freakouts all the time.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: And it kind of was like this energy of like everything was about her.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: Now, again, if you meet my mom, she's a freaking amazing woman.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: You would love her.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: Everyone who meets her loves her.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: But it's possible and it's very important to be able to hold two perspectives at the same time during the healing process.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: So I can acknowledge the ways that my mother really hurt me and the ways that I honor, respect, and love her deeply.
17:04
SPEAKER_00: So this is part of the healing process, is being able to hold both of those perspectives at the same time.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: So basically, I was playing out that dynamic with my husband on a lot of levels.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: So again, my husband to know him is to love him.
17:20
SPEAKER_00: He is a very special individual, but he also has like a temper, like he has like an angry side, right?
17:29
SPEAKER_00: Where he will kind of go from zero to 60 really quickly.
17:33
SPEAKER_00: So I would play out this dynamic with him where I would kind of be the version of me that I was with my mom growing up, where I would make sure like my whole life was being lived to like make sure that he was okay, to make sure that his needs were met so that he wouldn't get upset or he wouldn't freak out.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: And then I would also like cower in his presence and like allow him to like blame me for stuff.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: And I would not say what I thought because I didn't want to like ruffle feathers.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to make him upset.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: I would just go along with what he said, even if I didn't agree.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: So I was being forced to stop doing this based on who I wanted to be in my business, and based on the fact that him and I did not agree about what was going on in the world in 2021.
18:23
SPEAKER_00: So because I so strongly felt that I wasn't going to just do what everyone wanted me to do during that time, I had to share very powerfully and potently that I wasn't going to get vaccinated, which Matt and his whole family wanted me to do, basically.
18:45
SPEAKER_00: So it created this really strong riff between Matt and I and his family.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: And it was really uncomfortable.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: You know, and it's even hard to share about this right now, honestly, because like I'm not trying to like say anything bad about anyone.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: It's just that that was a hard time in the world and everyone was doing the best that they could.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: It was just some people were looking at it one way and some people were looking at it another way.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: I have no judgment towards anybody and what they did during that time.
19:17
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, people acted in ways that they probably wouldn't act if they weren't afraid or freaked out or whatever.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: But this is just how it happened for me and my husband at that time.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: So I was kind of forced to not go into the pattern that I always went into, which was just going along, just doing what everyone wanted me to do, even though I might not have agreed with it.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: It was just so strong within my being that I wasn't gonna do that.
19:47
SPEAKER_00: And it created this very strong rift between Matt and I.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: It created a ton of tension between us to the point where in September, I told him I wanted to separate.
19:59
SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't just because of that issue.
20:02
SPEAKER_00: That issue just kind of like was the icing on the cake of so many different things because I was very clear that I wanted to show up differently in our relationship.
20:12
SPEAKER_00: And there was so many things that I wasn't willing to tolerate anymore.
20:17
SPEAKER_00: And it's not to say anything bad about him because he was just acting in a way that I was allowing him to act.
20:25
SPEAKER_00: Like we were in a dynamic together, right?
20:28
SPEAKER_00: But I was clear that I was no longer available for that dynamic.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: And if our relationship was going to work, then we had to change our dynamic, which meant that we had to have space from each other because I needed to do healing and he needed to do healing if that's what he was gonna choose, right?
20:49
SPEAKER_00: So I told him in September, beginning of September 2021, that I wanted to separate.
20:55
SPEAKER_00: He was devastated, of course.
20:57
SPEAKER_00: He was devastated.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: But it just so happened that like the universe aligned so perfectly.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: And we own a property that's right across the street from us, and the renters happened to be moving out.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: So he ended up moving in over there, and it actually worked out perfectly because he was right across the street.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: So the kids didn't even really notice.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: Actually, they'd noticed, but it wasn't a big deal because he was always available and he needed to do work in that house anyway.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: So he just like moved over there.
21:30
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, at that time, I was kind of like, I didn't know what was gonna happen with our relationship, but I was just clear that I wasn't available for the old way.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: And I needed to show up completely differently and command that I have a different type of relationship that was in alignment with who I was becoming, not only in my business, but just in my life.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: And this is something that's so important to understand.
21:56
SPEAKER_00: Like I said before, when it comes to growing your business and making Making more money.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: It's not just about growing your business and making more money.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: It's about becoming the version of you who is at that level, which encompasses everything about your life.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: And it's about who you be, who you are, and the energy you hold in all aspects of your life.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: So this is why I was being initiated into this change in my relationship because the version of me who was still in those old dynamics with him was incongruent with who I was becoming.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: So it had to shift.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: So when he moved out, I wasn't sure what was going to happen.
22:41
SPEAKER_00: And I wasn't really thinking long-term necessarily.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: I was just kind of like, okay, this is what I need right now.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: And now I need to recalibrate and see who I want to be in relationship in general.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: And then I can come back and see like how we're going to do this, right?
23:00
SPEAKER_00: And obviously, like we have two kids together.
23:02
SPEAKER_00: Like I was definitely willing to work on our relationship if that's what he wanted.
23:08
SPEAKER_00: But I also had some very strong non-negotiables about what I was willing to deal with and what I wasn't willing to deal with.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: And the other piece of it too is that it was a non-negotiable for me that he started doing work on himself.
23:24
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying everyone has to give that ultimatum.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: That was just a non-negotiable for me.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: Like I was not available to try to change a relationship with somebody that wasn't willing to change.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: As set in his ways as Matt can be sometimes, he's actually super open and he's super intuitive.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Like he gets things on a very deep level in a way that I don't even think he realizes.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: Like just an example would be like the Rise program I just put out.
23:54
SPEAKER_00: Like he created that logo for me.
23:57
SPEAKER_00: And literally, that was the exact thing I saw in my head.
24:01
SPEAKER_00: And I hardly even told him like what to do.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: I just told him like a little bit about like the vibe I was thinking.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: And he literally recreated exactly what was in my head.
24:12
SPEAKER_00: That's how intuitive he is and talented he is.
24:16
SPEAKER_00: Like he really gets things on a very deep level.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: He won't admit that he does.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: Like he'll pretend he doesn't get it, but he does.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, my point is that he actually is very open to change.
24:29
SPEAKER_00: And he also was willing to do whatever it took to like make our relationship work.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: And he made that very clear from the very beginning.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't like 100% convinced, but then, you know, as I just started to shift and change and decide how I wanted to show up differently, he did the same thing.
24:49
SPEAKER_00: And um, I remember he texted me at one point, and I don't even remember what he said, but like he said all of these things that like he became aware of in the time that we were apart, that I was just like, holy shit, like he actually gets it.
25:05
SPEAKER_00: Like he gets what I'm talking about.
25:07
SPEAKER_00: Like he understands the patterns that we're in, he understands that we need to change, he understands where we're going, he understands what I want.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: And I was just like, okay, I think this might actually be able to work.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: So we ended up working with a therapist.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: She's really like a coach.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: Actually, we ended up working with two different therapists.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: By the way, I just very much suggest doing couples therapy, no matter where you're at in your relationship, because it is so important just to have that space to pour into your relationship.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: Because that's what we started doing.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: We started like every week having the space to really pour energy into creating the relationship that we wanted.
25:53
SPEAKER_00: And believe me, it's not easy.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: Like this was not a fucking cakewalk.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: This was challenging, especially because we were so polarized on what was going on in the world and navigating that with making decisions about our kids.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: Talk about hard.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: That was the hardest fucking thing I ever had to go through.
26:14
SPEAKER_00: But I was just very clear on how I felt and I shared that without any inhibition.
26:22
SPEAKER_00: And that was the first time in my entire life that I shared how I truly felt, knowing that it was going to make the other person not only uncomfortable but angry.
26:37
SPEAKER_00: And I still fucking said it and I stood strong in it.
26:42
SPEAKER_00: And that changed me because the person that I needed to become in order to be able to hold my energy and in order to be able to have really tough conversations, I'm a completely different person now.
27:00
SPEAKER_00: And one of the most powerful things that I would say that him and I have changed in our relationship is that we can have uncomfortable conversations.
27:14
SPEAKER_00: We can get angry at each other, we can like be heated and really disagree on something.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: And we can say what we think and say how we feel.
27:25
SPEAKER_00: And then we can let it go and come back to loving each other like very quickly.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: And that was something that before this, I was not able to do.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: Like, if him and I would have had a disagreement, I would have been out for days.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: Like I would have not known how to deal with it.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: I would have been so uncomfortable that he was mad at me.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: The old version of Elise, like, could not deal with anyone being mad at her.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: I was such a people pleaser that I would do whatever it took to not make have anyone be mad at me, regardless of what it meant that I had to sacrifice.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: Like that's who I was.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: And in this process, that version of me completely died.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: I do not do that anymore at all.
28:13
SPEAKER_00: And that's because of this situation and how I was initiated into showing up completely differently in my relationship.
28:22
SPEAKER_00: So we learn to have really tough conversations.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: We learn to get angry but still come back to love.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: We learned to love each other regardless of whether we have different opinions.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: And this like makes me emotional because what we're modeling to our kids is so important because of the way that the world is right now.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: We're basically told that if somebody doesn't agree with you, then they're the enemy, right?
28:52
SPEAKER_00: If you don't hold the same opinion as someone, then they're your enemy or something.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: And that is such complete programming, divisive bullshit.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: What we need to be teaching our kids is that two people can feel completely differently about something and still love each other.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: And that's something I tell my kids all the time because we still come up against this all the time, where Matt thinks they should be doing one thing, or Matt's afraid of whatever illness is out there, whatever.
29:24
SPEAKER_00: And I don't agree with him, and I'm not scared to say my opinion.
29:28
SPEAKER_00: And Levi's always like, you guys have two really different opinions.
29:32
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Yeah, and two people can have two very different opinions, and two people can completely disagree about something, and they can still love each other.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: And that's totally possible because everybody feels differently about so many things, and they can still love each other anyway, because we're not required of the same opinions about things in order to love each other.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: And I think that has been a huge point of growth for our entire family is coming back to love, even during those times where we really disagreed with each other.
30:08
SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't only that, but then for me personally, you know, what I really started to work on is really changing the person that I showed up as in my relationship.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: And this is where I think people can sometimes not understand this piece of it because I always tell you that you can completely change your relationship with anybody without ever having to talk to them about it.
30:36
SPEAKER_00: And the reason why is because you change the energy that you show up in.
30:42
SPEAKER_00: And when you show up differently, everyone around you shows up differently.
30:47
SPEAKER_00: It's just how it has to work because people cannot match your, it can't be an energetic match.
30:55
SPEAKER_00: If you're showing up at a higher level, the other person's gonna be forced to calibrate to you, or they're just gonna like go out of your life, right?
31:06
SPEAKER_00: So one of the things that I really had to shift is like I said, showing up in my relationship in my power, not being afraid to say what I thought, not being afraid to disagree, not people pleasing, and really showing up as the CEO leader that I am, that I'm desiring to be in my business and that I'm showing up as in my business.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: And once I started doing that, our entire relationship changed because I always say, I really think that the roles that we're in now, I feel like are more of like our natural roles because Matt actually loves to be like the supporting person.
31:46
SPEAKER_00: He loves to do the supporting work, he loves to make everything easy for everybody around the house.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: Like he loves to make sure everyone's needs are provided for.
31:56
SPEAKER_00: He likes to do all of these little things that make the house run smoothly.
32:02
SPEAKER_00: Like he basically runs the house, right?
32:04
SPEAKER_00: He does all of that stuff.
32:06
SPEAKER_00: And then I run my business.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, he always is like, Do you need anything?
32:12
SPEAKER_00: Do you want me to do anything for you?
32:14
SPEAKER_00: I feel like these roles work so well for us.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: And now he's so supportive of what I'm doing that it just kind of creates this symbiotic relationship.
32:25
SPEAKER_00: And of course, it's not perfect, believe me.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: Like, no relationship is like we have our moments and I have my moments, right?
32:35
SPEAKER_00: Where I'm like, you know, and that's just how relationships are.
32:39
SPEAKER_00: It's never like rainbows and butterflies all the time.
32:42
SPEAKER_00: But when you learn how to navigate the moments that are not rainbows and butterflies and not blame the other person and look in the mirror instead, that's when the work really happens, and that's when the shifts really happen quickly in all areas of your life.
33:00
SPEAKER_00: So I think the important piece here is to understand that I had to become a new version of myself, not only in my business, but in my relationship.
33:11
SPEAKER_00: And the way that translated in my business is because I was able to show up powerfully in my relationship with Matt, and because I was able to share my authenticity, and because I was able to have strong boundaries, that translated into how I was showing up in my business with my clients because it's all related, it's the same energy.
33:33
SPEAKER_00: And you know that at every level, you have to have better and better boundaries.
33:38
SPEAKER_00: And it's just, it's just energy because as you bring more people into your world, you just have to have better boundaries around your energy.
33:47
SPEAKER_00: And money loves boundaries, right?
33:49
SPEAKER_00: No one is going to sign up with a person who doesn't have good boundaries and their energy seems wishy-washy and it doesn't feel like you can rely on them.
33:59
SPEAKER_00: Boundaries mean that you can rely on someone, that you feel safe in their energy, that you can fall back and lean in to them, right?
34:09
SPEAKER_00: Because they have this very strong energetic core that they're holding you up with.
34:15
SPEAKER_00: That's boundaries.
34:16
SPEAKER_00: And until I was able to find that in my relationship with Matt, I wasn't able to find it as powerfully in my business.
34:24
SPEAKER_00: So let's just go back to the timeline here.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: So September, he moved out.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: And then we, I think it was like October, we started doing therapy, and we both made the commitment that we were gonna go all in and putting all of our energy into creating the relationship that we wanted to have together, right?
34:43
SPEAKER_00: This new, we called it like the 2.0, where like we're creating this new level for both of us.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: And we did, we went all in with it.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: We had two different therapists, and we really like did the work, you know, and I did my work to show up completely differently on the energy that I was holding and what I was expecting, and not being afraid to say what I needed so that our relationship could grow on so many levels.
35:10
SPEAKER_00: Because one of the things I just want to mention here, too, that I think is such an important energetic is that a lot of times what women do in relationships and men too, but I just noticed for women, like because our needs weren't met as kids, we don't trust that they're gonna be met in our relationship.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: So we don't say what we need or what we want because we think it's gonna burden the other person.
35:34
SPEAKER_00: And that's so what I did.
35:36
SPEAKER_00: Like, there's so many ways that I want our relationship to grow.
35:39
SPEAKER_00: There's so many things that I wanted us to do, but I never said it because I just thought he would get annoyed or whatever.
35:46
SPEAKER_00: And now I don't give a shit if he gets annoyed.
35:49
SPEAKER_00: I just say what I want and I say what I'm thinking and I say what I want us to do, or I don't even ask him.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: I just plan it.
35:57
SPEAKER_00: Like if I want to go on a vacation, I'll be like, okay, I want to go here, go find us an Airbnb or whatever.
36:04
SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't even ask because I'm like operating at this level where I'm not asking for permission for anything.
36:11
SPEAKER_00: Like obviously we're in a relationship, like there's certain things that we talk about and make decisions together, but it's not this energy that it used to be of like me being like, oh, is this okay?
36:25
SPEAKER_00: And then him having to give me permission, which is what I was in before.
36:28
SPEAKER_00: And that's just like not a vibe.
36:30
SPEAKER_00: And that's why that's what I needed to change, right?
36:34
SPEAKER_00: To grow my business.
36:35
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, so then we we worked really hard.
36:38
SPEAKER_00: And then in January, he ended up moving back in.
36:42
SPEAKER_00: And then in February, I had my first 50K month.
36:46
SPEAKER_00: And I knew it was gonna happen because I could just feel the energy shift.
36:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, and it's funny because with all of my big months that I've had, like the big milestone months, I just knew that they were gonna happen.
36:58
SPEAKER_00: Like I could feel the energy of it, and I could feel like how big it was gonna be.
37:04
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, so I could feel the energy in February, and I could feel how I'd shifted and how I was holding myself differently, how I was holding my energy differently, how my boundaries had up leveled, and how I was like so much more expanded in what I was requiring of myself and the people in my world.
37:26
SPEAKER_00: And this is a really big one, too, because the more money you make, the more you require of yourself and other people.
37:34
SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by that is like you're not tolerating bullshit or stories or people pulling on your energy or anything that feels like it's pulling at you, leaking your energy.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know how else to describe it.
37:50
SPEAKER_00: And people can feel from your energy that they can't do that in your world, right?
37:56
SPEAKER_00: They can't be bringing bullshit to your doorstep.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: So I could feel that my energy had shifted around that.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: And I knew the 50K month was gonna happen.
38:04
SPEAKER_00: Plus, I had there was just a bunch of different things that were going on that I kind of knew that certain people were gonna sign on for private and all of this stuff.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: So I just knew that that was gonna happen.
38:14
SPEAKER_00: So it happened, right?
38:16
SPEAKER_00: And then it just has been a process from there, like of just continuing to show up differently in all aspects of my life.
38:26
SPEAKER_00: But the relationship is just such a huge mirror.
38:30
SPEAKER_00: It's such a huge representation of how you do everything, because it's a huge representation of how you relate to yourself.
38:38
SPEAKER_00: Because the way you relate to your intimate partner is a reflection of how you relate to yourself.
38:43
SPEAKER_00: So, for example, if something is happening with your partner, it's like, okay, well, what is this actually a reflection of within my own mind?
38:51
SPEAKER_00: And what is this inviting me to lean into more so that I can go deeper, right?
38:58
SPEAKER_00: Like, what is this an invitation for?
39:00
SPEAKER_00: Like, how is this an invitation for me to lean more deeply into my own worthiness or lean more deeply into my own boundaries or lean more deeply into fully honoring myself and what I truly desire?
39:14
SPEAKER_00: Last night on the trust call, I think it was like our third call, I was talking about this idea of how we don't actually allow ourselves most of the time to truly even admit to ourselves what we truly desire because we don't think that it's even available to us or we have some kind of programming around like that being out of reach.
39:38
SPEAKER_00: So we don't even admit to ourselves what we truly desire, right?
39:42
SPEAKER_00: And that's part of this journey of up-leveling your money and your power just within yourself is being able to fully acknowledge and admit what you truly desire so that you can step into it.
39:58
SPEAKER_00: Because I always say your desire is your soul telling you this way, this is what's next.
40:04
SPEAKER_00: And the more that you can honor that and listen to that, the quicker you're gonna grow.
40:09
SPEAKER_00: Period.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
40:11
SPEAKER_00: So then I think it was June, I had my first 60K month, and then September quantum leap to 100K.
40:18
SPEAKER_00: And then, like, if you ask me what the difference would be between like the 60K Elise and the 100K Elise, there is definitely strategy involved, you know.
40:28
SPEAKER_00: Like I just opened up way more offers.
40:31
SPEAKER_00: But because of all of the healing I've done, and because of the way that I'm showing up completely differently with my boundaries and with the way that I honor myself, I have the energetic space and capacity to hold the energy of many more offers in my business.
40:49
SPEAKER_00: Because I think this is a really important piece.
40:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, of course, in order to get to 100K, you have to provide people with many different opportunities to come into your world, right?
41:00
SPEAKER_00: You're not getting there just from having one program or just doing like one-on-one coaching.
41:05
SPEAKER_00: Like, there has to be different ways that people can come in so that you're funneling that money into thro from different ways, right?
41:14
SPEAKER_00: So that's the strategy in it.
41:16
SPEAKER_00: But in order to have the strategy where you're able to have many different programs and sell many different offers at one time, you have to get to a certain level of energy where you're able to hold that energy, where you have these really good boundaries and you're able to hold the energy of all these people coming into your world.
41:38
SPEAKER_00: So I think that was the biggest thing for me, too, is just like holding the boundaries and then also being really unapologetic about who I am and what I want.
41:48
SPEAKER_00: And this is really funny.
41:49
SPEAKER_00: But one of the things that came up for me when I had my first 100K month, I had this memory of when I was in second grade.
41:58
SPEAKER_00: We did at my school, the second graders always did this really big play.
42:03
SPEAKER_00: And it would be like one of like the famous plays, right?
42:07
SPEAKER_00: Like I think they did Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, or whatever.
42:10
SPEAKER_00: And then my year, they did the Wizard of Oz.
42:13
SPEAKER_00: And I just knew that I was gonna be the star of the show.
42:16
SPEAKER_00: Like I knew that I was gonna be Dharothy.
42:18
SPEAKER_00: I tried out for the part of Dharothy.
42:20
SPEAKER_00: And I remember I told my mom, like, I'm gonna be Dharothy in The Wizard of Oz.
42:25
SPEAKER_00: And my mom was just like, okay, like don't be disappointed if you're not, you know what I mean?
42:30
SPEAKER_00: But I just knew that I was gonna be Dharothy.
42:33
SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, I tried out and I got the part as Dharothy.
42:37
SPEAKER_00: And even like to this day, if you go and ask anybody that went to school with me, like that went to elementary school with me, they would be like, oh yeah, Elise, she was Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: Like everyone like knew me as that.
42:51
SPEAKER_00: But I remember when I got the part right away when I got home, like my mom was really happy for me.
42:57
SPEAKER_00: But then immediately she was like, Oh, well, don't tell everybody how happy you are, or like, don't go and brag about it because you don't want other people to feel bad.
43:06
SPEAKER_00: And I remember that moment of like, oh, it's not okay to celebrate your greatness.
43:13
SPEAKER_00: And actually, you should hide your greatness with the world because you don't want to make them feel uncomfortable.
43:20
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that healed for me or was like asking to be healed for me when I stepped into the 100K month because there was a part of me that was like, oh my gosh, I don't want to celebrate this.
43:32
SPEAKER_00: Who am I to want more?
43:34
SPEAKER_00: Cause even after I had it, I was like, okay, like I wanted to keep going forward.
43:39
SPEAKER_00: But I feel like there was a part of me that was like, well, who am I to want more?
43:43
SPEAKER_00: And like it went back to like that moment of kind of instilling that idea that like if I have success, then other people are gonna feel bad.
43:52
SPEAKER_00: And that's not a vibe.
43:55
SPEAKER_00: So I had to completely like shift that too.
43:58
SPEAKER_00: But I'm just sharing that in case it lands for you because I feel like that's something that we come up against all the time that can stop our growth.
44:06
SPEAKER_00: Where somehow we think like if we're successful, then like other people will feel bad.
44:11
SPEAKER_00: And that's just complete and total bullshit.
44:14
SPEAKER_00: So that was a big thing that that shifted for me.
44:18
SPEAKER_00: And now we're just moving forward and continuing to grow and continuing to step into higher and higher months.
44:25
SPEAKER_00: So that is kind of the story.
44:28
SPEAKER_00: I really just felt called to share that because I'm always teaching about who you are in your most intimate relationships, is a reflection of how you're gonna be in your business.
44:38
SPEAKER_00: And when you shift one, the other has to shift.
44:42
SPEAKER_00: So I'm just inviting you to kind of look at where this might apply to you and what shifts you need to make, right?
44:49
SPEAKER_00: Or what shifts you desire to make.
44:51
SPEAKER_00: And also like, this is exactly what I do with people, especially when we work in a high-level mentorship.
44:59
SPEAKER_00: You're going to change the way you show up in relationship.
45:02
SPEAKER_00: It will just happen, right?
45:04
SPEAKER_00: If you're working with me in that level, because I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna let that slide.
45:10
SPEAKER_00: Um, and and most people that you talk to who work with me one-on-one have done exactly that.
45:15
SPEAKER_00: Their relationships have completely shifted.
45:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, whether they were in a relationship that wasn't working and then they ended it, or they up-level the relationship that they're in, or they found a relationship when they weren't in one, all the things.
45:31
SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, let me know how this lands for you.
45:35
SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear your thoughts or your takes on this.
45:39
SPEAKER_00: Um, so feel free to send me a DM or send me an email with how this lands for you.
45:45
SPEAKER_00: Also, please, if you feel inspired and you love this content, please rate and review the show.
45:52
SPEAKER_00: It just helps so much with spreading this podcast.
45:54
SPEAKER_00: I would love for you to do that.
45:56
SPEAKER_00: And if you do, just send me a screenshot and you will get 50% off the Ascension Toolkit, which is like my digital course with four breath work sessions, three meditations, and journaling prompts.
46:08
SPEAKER_00: It's such a powerful toolkit to have that you can use all the time to continue to shift and move energy.
46:15
SPEAKER_00: So, with that, I'm sending you so much love.
46:21
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here.
46:23
SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to subscribe to the show, leave a review, and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content.
46:30
SPEAKER_00: You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at Elise underscore breeds, and by joining my Facebook group, Breed to Succeed, where I share my weekly energy forecast.
46:41
SPEAKER_00: And subscribe to my list where you'll receive a free breath work session, meditation, and journaling prompts to deeply connect with your intuition at elisebreeds.com.
46:52
SPEAKER_00: See you next time.