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Darryl Strawberry Lost it All. Here's What Saved Him · Sports In America with David Greene

• DAVID GREENE, HOST: So if you ever watch a baseball player just smash a home run, like a giant one, what do you think is on his mind? I mean, do you ever wonder, is he thinking about pain, payback, something inspiring him? Is he just in the moment, and not thinking about anything? And that's one thing we're going to talk about today on Sports in America. We're going have an interview with Darryl Strawberry, legendary New York Mets All-Star, World Series champion, and when he tells us what is often on his mind when he would hit a home run, it's kind of going to surprise you because it takes us to a period of real trauma and pain in his life. But we're also going to be talking about the All-Star Game, which is coming up in the city of Philadelphia. Part of that, of course, is a Home Run Derby where we're going to see a lot of the biggest hitters in major league baseball, smashing a lot of home runs over the fence, and I am with someone who thinks a lot about baseball. It is John Stolnis. He is host of the podcast, Hittin' Season, which is about baseball, especially the Philadelphia Phillies, and John, thanks for being here.  JOHN STOLNIS: My pleasure, David. Thanks for having me.  DG: So, All-Star week in Philadelphia, I don't know, like I'm always so torn. Like, I'm such a diehard Pittsburgh Pirates fan to take myself out of either being excited or being miserable, which is normally where I am to think about an All-Star game. Feels kind of like a— I don't know, like a break from the, the action, but a lot of people love this thing. It brings all the luminaries and in the game together and in one stadium on one night. What are your feelings about it?  JS: It's nostalgic for me as a fan. I started watching baseball when Darryl Strawberry was in his heyday in the mid to late 80s is when I started cutting my teeth on it. And at that time, you didn't have interleague baseball, so you didn't have teams from the American League playing teams from the National League. So for a Philadelphia Phillies fan, it was our only chance to see the Phillies play teams from other league. And it was always really exciting if Roger Clemens was pitching for the Red Sox, watching him throw against Mike Schmidt. I mean, that was a thrill for me as a kid. And, but I think some of that still is there. And whenever you gather the greatest players in the game together in one spot, and baseball does a really good job of making this game a spectacle. They do the best job out of any of the major sports in putting together a mid-season All-Star game because baseball lends itself to being played in a very similar way as to like a regular season game. So, you're watching real baseball, you're watching real competition, and it's just, it's a great time. It's a good thing to see for young fans. They're players playing with the best players in baseball, and when you get to see players you've been rooting for, have a suddenly great season like the Phillies do with Brandon Marsh, and suddenly, he's starting an All-Star game. All those storylines are really a lot of fun for fans. So that's my main enjoyment for it.  DG: Yeah, Brandon Marsh is, is such a great sort of story for people who haven't been following his story and his season with the Phillies and now being an All-Star selection. Like, what really strikes you about his journey?  JS: Yep, because they traded for him back in 2022, and he's been a decent player for the Phillies. He's a guy that they were hoping would be their center fielder of the future, and he doesn't play that position anymore. He plays left field mostly, but he's always been a guy who's been very up and down. He's the guy you could play against right-handed pitchers, but not against left-handed pitchers. Well, this year he's put it all together. He's hitting everyone, and he's hitting for power. And we see this sometimes with players. We see a guy who's been in the league for four or five or six years, and they're decent, but then they have a career year where it all comes together. They just, they never really get into a slump. If they do get into a rough patch, they pull out of it more quickly. When you see a guy like that emerge and have a season like this, it's always fun, and it's also special, and there's no guarantee he's going to repeat it in another season. This doesn't mean Brandon Marsh is suddenly gonna be making these all-star teams year after year after year. So it's really just one of those moments where you embrace the, embrace the opportunity, and you get a chance to watch a player you really like having this career season.  DG: Does this stage of the All-Star game matter for kind of him and this season, do you think? Like do we know that if he you know, and we should say like some of these players don't get you know, much time to actually shine because these managers try to play everybody. So you're seeing pitchers who normally pitch five, six, seven innings go one or two. You see, hitters only get like one or two at-bats at most. Does it matter that much? Like, if Marsh gets a big hit, could that somehow propel him into, you know, a second half that might be better, or is this mostly just sort of a spectacle and entertainment as you were saying for all of us watching?  JS: I think it's mostly a spectacle and entertainment. I don't know that it portends anything for the second half, but it probably could give him confidence. And when you perform on a big stage like that. But it's also, Brandon Marsh is familiar with the big stage. He's played in a World Series. He has been in the postseason each of the last four years coming into 2026. And so he's had some of these moments where he's performed well in a big spot when the spotlight is on him. And so the great thing about being a starter for the All-Star team is that you are almost certainly guaranteed at least two at-bats, if not a third at-bat in this game. And so that's what's really cool for him. He's not gonna just be in there for one at bat, and then they're gonna take him out. He gets to play at least four or five innings before he's removed. And so Phillies fans will be able to see him get at least a couple of cracks at some good American League pitching. DG: 26 first-timers on these two all-star rosters, which is amazing, and that includes four rookies. Is there anyone you have your eye on who we think we should be, I don't know, paying more attention to this season?  JS: Yeah, I mean, I think there's a number of guys. I think if Jacob Mizorowski is able to pitch in this game, I know he pitched in last year's game, but he'd only been in the league for a few weeks before he actually made the All-Star team. And it was kind of controversial, him making it after having so little time in the majors. But he has emerged as one of the great young pitchers in baseball. And really, I think, if you're looking at this game, I think it's gonna be a National League-dominated game. So you're gonna have a lot of the— most of the talent in this game is on the National League side, which is historically how it's gone back in, you know, up the 70s through the 90s. It was the National League dominating pretty much every year. Drake Baldwin is a catcher for the Baltimore Orioles. He's emerging as a really great young player, one of the best hitters in baseball. And I'll tell you what, two Washington Nationals players that living in Northern Virginia, I get to see a whole lot. James Wood is emerging as one of the biggest superstars in baseball, and he's still kind of flying under the radar. And CJ Abrams is the shortstop. He's gonna start at shortstop for the National League in the All-Star Game this year. He has had a terrific breakout season here in his third season in the majors. And so those are some guys I would be keeping an eye on.  DG: For people who are, who just sort of know some of the big names in baseball and are going to be tuning in because it's like they hear it's the All-Star game, there are some big names that you're not going to see. I mean, Aaron Judge, New York Yankees, sitting this game out has a rib injury, Vladimir Guerrero Jr. of the Blue Jays, not going to play, seems like he might just be trying to focus on his work with the Blue Jays. But he's had a lower back injury. The fact that you don't have some of these marquee names, does that change— I don't know, the stakes of this game, or how much attention we should be paying to it?  JS: It does take a little bit of the luster off of certainly the American League side of the roster, because you do want to see Aaron Judge in that game. You know, you want to see, I mean, he's the biggest star in the American League. I mean, there's no question about it. And for him not to play in this game is definitely disappointing. But I think, you know, you'll have Mike Trout playing in this game for the first time in a little while. He's managed to stay healthy. He was voted in by the fans. He's having a decent season out in LA. And so it'll be fun to see him coming back home to Philadelphia.  DG: Home Run Derby is a part of All-Star Week. I actually love it. I think it's really fun, but does bring to mind what I sort of brought up at the top. I mean, where do you think home run power comes from? You know, is it all kind of technique and science, or do you feel like there's some deeper emotion that helps these guys take, like, such a massive swing and drive a ball, you know, like four or 500 feet?  JS: Well, it's funny, in the Home Run Derby, it is a totally different mindset than playing in a game and trying to hit home runs. In a Home Run Derby, you're selling out, and you're just trying to launch the ball. Whereas we've seen some great Home Run Derby performances from guys who are not 50 home run hitters. The Phillies' Bobby Abreu at one point set the record for most home runs in a Home Run Derby. And he had only hit 30 home runs, I think, once or twice in his career. So we've seen that in different cases. And then, of course, but you do have the big boppers who do well in this. In this particular event. So it really does just come down to, in the Home Run Derby specifically, rhythm. Getting into a rhythm, and one of the things that you don't hear talked about all that often is having a pitcher who you like pitching you these batting practice pitches for the Home Run Derby. Because each hitter gets to choose what pitcher they want. Bryce Harper's father always used to pitch for him in the Home Run Derby, and that's one of the reasons why he's unsure if he'll participate because his dad doesn't throw anymore. So he's not sure if he's gonna be able to find someone to throw to him. If you get a guy who's grooving you balls right down the middle or right where you like them, any of these guys in this competition can win the thing. These guys actually put a lot of thought into this. They do put a lots of effort into this and it's not just going up there, grabbing a piece of lumber and swinging as hard as you can as much as you. I mean, some guys, I'm sure, do that, but they're usually not the guys who win. And there's a reason why the same guys usually are among the finalists every single year.  DG: Before we get to this conversation with Darryl Strawberry, you mentioned that it was, you know, his time with the Mets that was the time when you were kind of getting into baseball. What do you remember about Darryl Strawberry, and how does that name land with you?  JS: He was one of the most talented players in baseball ever since he came into the league. He was a first-round draft pick from the Mets, came to the majors really quickly, and was immediately a superstar for that team in that 1986 season, where they won the World Series. He was just such a great hitter to all fields. He would hit for power, but he was a doubles machine, and he was athletic as can be, could steal bases for you. And it just, because he had issues with substance abuse and other things, He got injured. He eventually got traded to Los Angeles, and it just, he was never really able to get back on the track that he was early in his New York Mets days. He looked like he was on his way to a surefire Hall of Fame career. He looked like he's going to be a 12, 13-time All-Star, perennial All-Star in the outfield. And really that's, that's what he should have been. But we know that sometimes, for some players, the demons are too much, and sometimes they succumb to that. But he was an electrifying player. He was a player Phillies fans love to hate because he would come into Veterans Stadium multiple times a year and just tear our souls out because of all the damage that he would do. But he was a tremendous player.  DG: He tore the souls out of Pittsburgh Pirates fans as well. I will tell you, yeah, his story is so complicated, and I knew so little of it, you know, when I was like, you were just being a fan and watching him. And yeah, there was like no one like him in many ways, and to understand kind of where a lot of that power came from, the trauma, pain in his life, and what he's overcome. It's just an extraordinary journey. And we're going to listen to that conversation with Darryl Strawberry coming up on Sports in America. But first, I want to say thank you to John Stolnis. He is host of the podcast. Hitting season, if you love baseball, if you love the Philadelphia Phillies, you should check it out. John, thank you, and enjoy All-Star Week.  JS: Yeah, thank you, David, you too.  MIDROLL DG: Hey, everybody, welcome to Sports in America. I just wanna give you a heads up. Our episode today does delve into some sensitive topics, including addiction, abuse, also life-threatening illness. So I just want to encourage you to listen with care.  BROADCASTER 1: Warming up their third pitcher, well hit to left center field. Out of here, Darryl Strawberry's first major league home run.  \[MUSIC\] BROADCASTER 2: There goes Strawberry, breaking ball is high, the throw, not in time, and he's done it! BROADCASTER 3: Deep right field, it's going, going, and it's gone, goodbye! And the Mets win it on Strawberry's two-run home run. DG: Daryl Strawberry is this generational talent. He played in Major League Baseball for 17 years with the Dodgers, the Giants, and also the Yankees. He's best known, though, for his time with the New York Mets, the team that drafted him first overall in 1980.  BROADCASTER: He might be the best hitter in the National League right now, maybe in baseball.  DG: Daryl went on to win Rookie of the Year, eight consecutive All-Star selections, and three World Series. In his career, he racked up 335 home runs, which is ridiculous, also 1,000 RBIs. One time in 1988, he blasted a drive so hard, it hit the lights on the roof of the stadium in Montreal.  BROADCASTER 1: Bottom of the fifth inning. Speaking of home runs, there's a long drive. That ball is out of here! Home run, Darryl Strawberry. BROADCASTER 2: That ball may have hit the lights up there. It may have hit the top of the stadium. I think it did. Darryl slowed down. I can't believe it.  DG: If only his legacy were as simple as these exceptional stats.  DARRYL STRAWBERRY: One took me to the back of the plane, said, "Welcome kid, to the big leagues." I'm 21. There it was, they introduced me to cocaine. And I thought to myself, "Man, I have arrived."  \[MUSIC\] DG: When Darryl went to the New York Mets, he left behind a complicated childhood. Poverty, violence at home from an abusive father, and his parents' divorce. The hard times were not easy for Darryl to release. They fueled his performance at bat. DS: I was going to crush the baseball because of the beatings. I just knew when I got to the plate, and I faced whoever it may be in situations that when I made contact with this bat, I was gonna hit it as hard as I could, just like my father was hitting me.  DG: Those hard times also fueled some of his darkest moments, injuries, addiction, time in jail. When Darryl reached the bottom, he sought out something that he hoped could heal him, his faith. Since he retired from Major League Baseball in 1999, he has lived a million different lives, from a Florida State prison to cancer treatment to the pulpit as a newly minted minister. He details his life story in his upcoming book, "Another Life. Discovering the Healing Power of Purpose on my Long Journey from Player to Preacher."  DS: Now I became this person that God wanted me to be the whole time. Not what I was going to accomplish from an athletic standpoint, but what I would accomplish for Him from a man's standpoint.  DG: Today on Sports in America, superstar Daryl Strawberry. We start our conversation with one of the most important themes in his life, forgiveness, and how he learned to value that early on. Forgiveness is such a theme in your book, and to kind of understand that, I want to roll back the clock to you growing up. You grew up in tough circumstances, it sounds like in South Central Los Angeles. Your relationship with your dad sounds awful. I mean, it sounds like he was incredibly abusive, and I wonder if you don't mind describing that one particular night when you and your brother were trying to defend your mom against him, and it sounds like that was the last time you saw him for many years. What happened?  DS: We were at a point where we were just completely done. Another drunken night, him coming home and yelling and yelling at our mom for no reason, just because he was drunk. And we had dealt with it for so many times. And not only that, the physical abuse where he would make us take our shirts off and beat us with an extension cord, lay us across the bed, and for any little infraction, just so many different things. But we finally reached a point that night he came home and my older brother, Michael, told him, "Why don't you just get out of here and leave us alone?" He pulled out a shotgun and said he was going to kill the whole family. We didn't know that my mother had took the shells out of the shotgun. But at the time, me and my brother, brothers, went into action. You know, Ronnie grabbed a butcher knife, I grabbed a frying pan, and he was chasing Michael around the table. And we were like, he's the only person that's going to be killed here tonight. Because we had had it. And my mother just was so sweet, such a wonderful lady, little, small. And she just yelled at us like I've never heard it before and told us get out of the house and go down the street to the neighbor's house and don't come back and we were like no we're not getting out of house. Come on 14 15 years old you know we're like, "We're not going anywhere we're about to kill him" and she was like yelling to us get outta the house and then eventually we got out of a house and we just realized that when we came back the next day he wasn't there and he was no longer there all this stuff was gone. And we were at the end of the end. It could have been a tragedy in my life, in my brother's life, before I ever put the uniform on, they ever put a uniform on. And what most people don't realize brokenness is real. And a lot of times people just stuff it down inside of them and keep it inside of them and never deal with it. And you go into different areas of your life as you get older, and you start doing different things to try to cover up the pain, the hurt, whatever it may be that you've never dealt with. And that's what happened to me. Lawlessness is real, and it brings about brokenness, and you stay that way until you can get healed on the inside and deal with things. That's why most celebrities end up in drug addiction, alcohol, abusive relationships, because they're broken inside. People wonder, well, why? They have everything; they have all this money. Money can't fix that. It could just buy you a new house, it could buy you another car, it could buy you whatever you want for that moment, but it's not gonna really fix what's going on on the inside until you allow yourself to meet the maker, which is the Lord, and the healer that can heal you from that. And that's what I experienced for all those years, you know, after all what I went through that night, I hated my father. He didn't get to know his grandkids, he didn't get to know me as a person, he didn't get to see my career up close. Then I come to the point now, I was really pretty selfish of that for doing what I did, because two wrongs don't make a right. And I had to experience something different in that, after all that, after going through all that I had go through with him and have a career like I did. And I would eventually be the one leading him to the Lord on his deathbed. So it all has this plan that we don't understand. And I didn't understand it clearly until God led me to the hospital on a Sunday to go repent to my father and asked him to forgive me for keeping him out of my life and my career. And there was, I was extending the grace that I didn't deserve to him that he didn't deserve, but God gave it to me. And he says, well, how dare you not forgive him. And I forgave you. I gave you the grace. So I'm teaching you how to give it to someone else. And that I think that was one of the greatest turnarounds in my life ever when I did that because eventually six months later, he would pass away and go home and be with the Lord because I led him to the Lord in that situation. And that's when you start realizing that this life is really, really not about you. We think it is, but we're all gonna go through something that's about how we overcome those and how we deal with them in a different way.  \[MUSIC\] DG: Yeah, I don't want to let go of this moment you're describing. I mean, so many years after your father was so incredibly abusive to you, your brothers, your mom, and, you know, you had that moment where you were ready to kill him. You decide, as you said, to go to his hospital bed, as he's dying. And I think I was just shocked because I thought that you were going to be forgiving him, but you actually asked for his forgiveness. Can you explain that more?  DS: Yeah. Well, it was on a Friday night. I was about to do a men's conference. A Saturday morning God speaks to me and and tells me to go down see my father in the hospital because my brother told me Friday night he had a stroke, and I said so, big deal, you know, why are you telling me? aAnd then after I got off the phone with my brother, the Lord speaks to me about going down to my father and he says "I want you to repent to your father" and I couldn't believe it and yes, I said what? And I called my wife and I said, the Lord is all over me about going to see my father on Sunday and for me to repent and extend forgiveness. I asked him, will he forgive me? She says, "Do exactly what he said." And that's exactly what I went down there and I did, I went in there, I didn't talk about anything that had happened in our life, and what he did. Then I saw him lying in the bed, he had had a stroke. I said would you forgive me for keeping you out of my life? In my career, and I know your grandkids, and he shook his head yes, and a tear came out of his eye, and I lost it. I completely lost it; I never cried so hard. I laid in his lap, I cried so harsh and I'm so sorry. Now, and just laid there. And then minutes afterwards, you know, my brother Ronnie was there and my son Jordan, he was young, he was there with us. And I raced up, he said, "Lead him, lead him to the Lord." Then I said, "Would you like to accept the Lord in your life? He's changed my life. He's not been a change, man." He said, Yeah. And that was the moment I was able to extend him, you know, the grace that was given to me, and allow him to be free. And I believe there was a freedom that came over him, you see what God was really showing me was that he needed to be free from what he did. He said, but he made me clearly have an understanding that the fact that the forgiveness that I was given to my father wasn't for my father, it was for me. That's why I stayed broken all those years. That's where I couldn't be free. And when I walked out of that hospital, I was set free. I mean, a fresh anointing came over my life. I was a different person. It was time to talk a different way, act a different way, even though I was doing ministry, it was just different. I was just, I mean, such great peace came over my life where I had never felt before, where I hadn't to worry again about anything. And I didn't from that day on. Yeah, and I became a new man. I became a man just with real principles, new character, and went back and extended the forgiveness to everybody and made amends to my first and second wife and my kids and everybody, because it was all part of the whole journey of being cleansed by God on the inside. Cause you know, a lot of times we live in this life, and we portrayed ourself, especially athletes and people in the entertainment business, we all that because of what we do. But who are we really when it all comes down to? The real pain that's inside of us, and do we ever deal with it? Do we ever allow ourselves to get free from it? And I was very fortunate to be able to allow that to happen, you know, before I leave this Earth.  DG: Yeah, I think to fully understand you wanting to show your dad the grace that you had been given, it's worth kind of getting into your journey some to know what you've been through. I mean, you're 18, and you're drafted by the New York Mets. You write about getting to New York and having never even, like didn't even know where New York was on the map when you first got there. Is that, is that really true? DS: Had no idea. no, I've really never been out of California, only probably one time when we played Connie McBall, me and Eric Davis and we went up to Seattle to play, and that was our travel. Most of the time, it was growing up in South Central, Crenshaw High, and Eric went to Fremont, and we just— we played baseball, and we knew that we were gonna play in the summer together, and we were going to be good, and we had fun, and you know, another teammate, Chris Brown, who played on my high school team, was my third baseman. And it was just so much of not knowing about anything but LA and growing up in LA. And when they said New York, I said, "Where the heck is New York at?" when I was dropped there. I had no idea until I actually first took a visit to the place, and I was like, boy, I'm really in for it because this is so much bigger than LA and so much more different than what LA is all about. You got one-way streets, you got to go down this street, you got to go down the street. I mean, in LA, you didn't have to do that. I mean, I knew all the back corners in LA, but I didn't have no idea of how am I going to figure out a place like this. But I'm forever grateful that that was the place that was meant for me to go to and perform and play and to have everything happen in my life.  DG: What did the pressure feel like on such a young man like to be kind of seen as the person who was gonna help bring this franchise success?  DS: It didn't feel good at the beginning, but it felt great when I started learning from people like Jim Frey, Bill Robinson, Bobby Valentine, Bud Harrelson, Davey Johnson. See, coaches are gonna have the greatest impact on you as an athlete. Yeah, we're gonna do great things, but if it's not for them, being able to settle you in and push you to the next level of who you are and not try to be like somebody else. That's what brings about greatness. And I never worried about pressure. I never thought about pressure; I just thought about playing at the highest level and competing against anybody. I used to tell myself when I ran out there on the field, I'm the best player on the field tonight. That's the way I always looked at it. And that's what I believe because these coaches that I had in my life gave that to me. These people allowed me to develop, and they allowed me to turn. Into the kind of person and player that I could be. So I was always a good person. That was never the problem. They helped me develop that even more because I was playing in a bigger city, and that was more tension-focused around me. So I never let the outside noise bother me. I never let the booze bother me, so I always embraced that. And I think that's what elevated my game to play at the highest level.  DG: You know, I remember watching Darryl Strawberry around the time he's talking about when he was at bat during those breakout years with the New York Mets. I mean, in his first season alone, he hit 26 home runs. The sheer power he had was just insane. But now, after reading his book and putting those early seasons together with his life story, I am seeing it all in a totally new way. Darryl, I saw you hit a lot of home runs, um. On TV and a couple in person when I was a kid, I don't think I ever realized something you wrote in your book, which is that when you were taking so many of those swings, you were imagining your father's face and swinging at it. What was that feeling like?  \[MUSIC\] DS: That was a feeling where I was going to crush the baseball because of the beatings. The beatings were real, and I always could feel the laying across the bed and having no shirt on, and having the extension cord just going across my back, and how hard that was. And the marks that it left on me was just like the wounds that it left inside of me. I just knew when I got to the plate, and I faced whoever it may be in situations that when I made contact with this bat, I was gonna just hit it as hard as I could, just like my father was hitting me. It was a memory of how hard and how difficult that was when I was a kid that I was going through that. And that's what generated that kind of strength and that kind of power inside of me to crush a baseball like that.  DG: You write about, and so many people talk about, that when you're abused as a kid, there's like so much of that anger inside you that has to be released. You've been very honest about how you fell into a lot of vices as a professional athlete, even as you were playing at such a high level when it comes to drugs and drinking, and I think you've used the term womanizing. How do you reflect on all of that now?  DS: It was just all a part of my DNA, because that's who my father was. That's what I saw when I was young. He played softball, and then he was like the star on the softball team. He would pitch, and he would strike out 12, and they would win one to nothing. He hit the one home run to the next diamond. So I saw him play like that, and then I saw them in the nightlife, because we would go with him. My mother would go home with the girls. And me and my brothers would go with him, and we'd play ball at the park, but he would then go to like the local bars or somewhere where the team would be, and they all would be there, and they had all these women around them. And they were stars. They worked at the post office, and they were the stars of the post office because he played for the team called the Wildcats, and he was a star. You know, they called him Big Hank. And that's what we saw as a kid. And I guess that's what I thought life was supposed to be. When I got to professional sports and major leagues, I don't— it's the only thing I knew of going about is what I saw my father was. And then when I got introduced to the big leagues by some of the veteran players, when I was a rookie, I was young, they introduced me to the nightlife, they introduced to me to welcome, one took me to the back of the plane, said welcome kid to the Big Leagues, I'm 21, there it was, they introduced me to cocaine. And I thought to myself, man, I have arrived, and these guys took me out to the club, and I saw all the girls, and I'm 21 and I'm thinking this is the life, this is it. And that was the same life that my father was on; I saw the same thing. So I would repeat the same things. Most people don't know, most kids, most boys will eventually repeat the thing that they father do when they see it in the house. And that's what I saw, and I became that too.  DG: I saw you do one interview, and this sounded crazy, but I mean, you said there were some times when you would literally leave the dugout and have sex during games. That was really happening?  DS: Well, you know, probably kind of stupid things to do, you know, when you play in the big leagues, and you play on teams like I played on the 86 Mets, everybody was treating us like we were like a rock band. You know, and you know, girls wanted to like in between innings, you know, give you, you know, whatever you wanted to do. It was just, it was just part of the sickness. And I've experienced it, I'm quite sure a lot of other guys on the team experienced it too. So well, they just me and one particular player, you know, man, that was just a part of who we were is like coming into town, and it was a big deal, you know, who the New York Mets were at that time.  DG: I mean, Darryl's right. The Mets were a huge deal at this point in 1986. This was Darryl's third season with the team. The Mets finished with a franchise-best record of 108 and 54, and they won the World Series. From there, Darryl played a few more seasons with the Mets, and then he moved to other teams in New York and California. He won the World Series twice more with the Yankees, but in the background, Darryl was struggling with his health. He was diagnosed with colon cancer in 1998, which forced him to undergo surgery and chemotherapy. Meanwhile, he was suspended from the league three separate times for substance use, including one suspension that lasted for 140 days in 1999. He retired from Major League Baseball that same year, but not before he was arrested for drug possession and solicitation. After he retired, things didn't get any easier. Darryl's colon cancer came back and spread. Requiring him to endure even more surgeries. Then he was arrested again in 2002 for violating his probation. He had to spend almost a year in a Florida prison. This is a time in Darryl's life that most people would probably call rock bottom. And it was around this time that he met his third wife, Tracy, who encouraged him to change his life by leaning into his faith.  DS: When you come to that place, and you finally submit yourself to Him, then you're gonna really find out who you are because he's gonna teach you that. He can't teach you if he doesn't know you. And I think getting saved is the first part of it. And I did in 1991, when I went to Dr. Morris Cerullo crusade in Anaheim. I ran into the wall at my first season in LA and made a play, and dislocated my shoulder. And with no foundation, I went back out into the world for the next, whatever, 14, 15 years of my life lost, lost in sin. And I would experience this darkness of, how do I get out of this over and over, trying to get out of it, my mother's praying behind the scenes for me, interceding that God would save me and knock me off of my own personal throne. And that would come to pass. And then Tracy would come into my life, and she would be the one that would lead me back into church. And I was sick for seven years in church to go through discipleship. Now I became this person that God wanted me to be the whole time. You know, not what I was gonna accomplish, you know, from an athletic standpoint, but what I would accomplish for him from a man's standpoint.  DG: Sports in America will be right back in just a minute with more from Darryl Strawberry. MIDROLL DG: This is Sports in America, and we are back now with three-time World Series champ, Darryl Strawberry. Darryl fought some seriously tough battles in the first half of his life and came out on top. He beat cancer, went to rehab, and he's in recovery now. It seems like those moments prepared him for what was to come, an experience that would bring him to the threshold of death's door just before his 62nd birthday. \[MUSIC\] DG: When you start your new book, you had an incredible health scare, a heart attack that sounds like it very well could have taken your life. I wonder, is there a moment from that experience that still stays with you as like a low point when you really felt that the things were over?  DS: I was traveling with my son Jordan. We were going, we were on the road at five different places in, you know, four or five days. And I was speaking, and little did I know that my heart was giving me some problems. And I realized that when I came through the airport in Atlanta, I was sweating and I was getting very fatigued as I was going to the next gate, and I couldn't make it and missed that flight. And I just told my wife, I almost passed out on the floor in the airport. And she was like, you need to get to the doctor. I said, I'll be OK. And I just kept going. And she called my son and told him, keep a close eye on your dad.  DG: But you were being an athlete, right? I mean, you said that that's the way athletes, like you, were just\` trained to play through pain as it were.  DS: We were trained to play through anything. Whatever comes along, you had to work through it because somebody was behind you. And if you fell off the cliff, then somebody was gonna take your spot, and you never know if you're gonna ever get it back, you know, being an athlete. So I was trained that way. And that's the same way I was thinking as I was traveling and ministry and doing what I was doing is just to keep going until, you know, it is the end. And I didn't really think it was at that time until I actually got back home from that road trip. And that was when I realized I still started having you know, the chest problems, and my wife just eventually said, that's it. You know, there she was, throwing me in the car and going crazy driving. I was like, "Hold up." She was like "No, I've got to get you to the ER." And I get there, and they go, "Okay, Mr. Strawberry, you're in some serious trouble." I says, okay. I'm just as calm as ever, you know, before I probably would have been probably a nervous wreck in my life. But at this point in my life I'm very serious about what I've been able to accomplish and do, and I know who I am and I know what's next. And there was.... DG: Wow, so that has you at a moment of peace when you're having a heart attack, like that, you feel like you've lived a good life and sort of given back, and so you're taking it in a calm way as opposed to stressing out about it.  DS: Yeah, I was really taking it in such a calm way and very comfortable in the situation. And until I realized that I was gonna have to go in and have that procedure done at night. And my wife was going one way in the waiting room, and I was going the other way to have the surgery done. And there I was, as I was rolling in, I was making an agreement with God. I was like, you know, "God, really, I win either way. If you take me home right now, I win. If you leave me here and let me stay, I'll win." But I said, "Can you do me one favor? I" said I really never asked for anything from him. I said "Would you let me stick around, let me see them, they're gonna retire my number, and that would be great to be a big part of that ceremony." So obviously, he granted me that and allowed me to stick around and see that. It was a moment that I wanted to be able to share with my family, and my friends, and all the fans that had a part of me having success in Queen.  DG: What Daryl is talking about right there, the reason he wanted to survive this near-fatal heart attack is because he was about to be honored by the team that meant the most to him, the New York Mets. Just a few months later, the franchise was planning to retire his number 18 in front of family, friends, and fans at CitiField. That moment at CitField, the way you described it was just like second by second, gave me chills.  ANNOUNCER: Fans, please welcome the man we honor this afternoon, now and forever, number 18, Darryl Strawberry!  DG: One of the things I want to ask you about was that kind of exchange you had with your wife, Tracy. She was dabbing some tears away from your eyes and remind me how you described that moment between the two of you, having arrived at that day at Citi Field.  DS: I think it was the most incredible moment that a man can experience in his life when you have a bride who has been so important in your life and put your family together. We got a blended family. We got nine children together, and you bring all that together to be one, and you have to bring the outside people around. And I think a lot of times people don't do that. They're mad at each other, but we're not. We've never been mad at anybody. That's a part of the family. We've always tried to be the people that live a certain way and make peace. And that is because of my wife. That's because she did that. And that's incredible. A woman can do that and have that kind of strength and know the importance of that. I think that's what it was like when I embraced her. I was so grateful for her, not only for our family, but I was so grateful for her coming into my life and changing the direction of my life, and leading me back into church and leading me towards the cross, and it's just so many different moments that occurred when I gave her that hug. I just— the tears that were coming through the eyes of us and looking at her and hugging her and holding on to her was forever a thank you. I thank you to your goodness, to me, your goodness to our children, your goodness for showing me the way back to the symbol of the cross and understanding the cross, and showing me the purpose of life. I think that's what was given to me in that moment of time, and where I was reflecting on that hug and meeting her and seeing her at that particular moment.  DG: Part of the reason Darryl wanted to live long enough to see his number retired was because he wanted one more chance to talk to Mets fans directly. \[MUSIC\] DG: Well that wasn't the only relationship that you were sort of thinking about that day. You had a message that you really wanted to send to New York Mets. Fans. What was that?  DARRYL STRAWBERRY TO FANS: The one thing I want to say to you, fans. And I mean this from the bottom of my heart. I'm so sorry for ever leaving you guys. I've never played baseball in front of fans greater than you guys  DS: I carried that forever, you know, I wanted to, you know, make sure that they got a clear understanding of me as a person that I truly, truly was sorry for leaving them. Not the organization, but the fans, because the fans were always the people that made you believe in the fact of yourself, or either run you out of town. And they didn't run me out of town. They made me believe in myself. They helped me become the kind of player I was. They helped me become the player when I stepped out on that on deck circle. I looked out there on that field, and I looked at that pitcher, and I knew I was coming to the plate, knowing that I'm about to beat the breaks off of you. That's the kind of attitude I had, and I know I'm about to hit a ball off the top of the scoreboard somewhere, or tie this ball game up, or win this ball game, and that's what the fans give you. If you as a player today, wherever you play, if you ever embrace the fan base that's behind you, when you feel like that, when they stand up on their feet for you and they're cheering for you, that's special. That's something you cannot deny if you play Major League Baseball. If you do, you're missing out. If you just think it's just clearly all about you, you're missing the whole point of what it's really all about. You're missing the whole point of the fact, even if they're booing you. If they're booing you at times, they're telling you, OK, you're great, but you suck right now. What's up with that? And that was just a part of what my learning lessons were from playing there at Shea Stadium all those years.  DG: So that day when your number was retired, were you asking for forgiveness from Mets fans?  DS: I truly was. I really wanted to embrace the love that was there for me. It was a very special place for me to play through it all. Of course, you got to deal with the media. I didn't mind dealing with the media because one thing I was not gonna let the media do was deny who I was or run me out of town. And that wasn't the reason. The reason for leaving was because there was no offer from the team, and it was a broken relationship with the front office. The fans always was a big part of who I became. And I wanted to make sure that they realized that, please forgive me for walking away from you guys because I always had chills when I ran out on the field, shake, shake, and shake them because I was always knew it was something that I was gonna do a particular night and not every night was gonna be great, but I knew I was going to give you my best. And I knew the fact that I can get you guys to stand up on your feet and call me out for a curtain call and even if even if I was mad at you and you wanted me to come out for a curtain call I wouldn't come out after the first home run because I know I'm about to hit another one. And it was just the kind of game of I love playing you know with them because it's a real thing when you're playing New York and the fans are the way they are and if you cannot handle that situation it's going to crush you. If you let the noise get to you it's going to take you away from who you are, and they couldn't do that to me, and that was the fun part of playing there and playing the back-and-forth game with them and them looking for me for a curtain call, and I wouldn't come out.  DG: You know, I gotta say, you say the lesson is that we should never assume that we know everything about a person. I just wanna thank you for talking, because it's kind of surreal, because I really, you know, I did, you were one of the iconic players that I watched growing up, and I knew you as a home run king, and knew you was a World Series champion, but I knew none of the other stuff. And what you were going through in your heart, and kind of some of the bad stuff that was going on that you were doing, and your own journey, and what you had overcome. So yeah, it really means a lot to talk to you, and I just want to thank you.  DS: Thank you, thank you for taking the time out and reaching out to me. I really appreciate it.  \[THEME SONG\] DG: Next time on Sports in America.  LANDON DONOVAN: I scored a goal in the 92nd minute, and it became a very iconic moment in U.S. Men's national team history, and it was a moment that changed my life forever.  DG: Soccer star Landon Donovan is tied for the most goals in US men's national team history, and he won a record six MLS Cup championships, but when he walked off the pitch, he had to fight his own demons.  LD: My dad sent me a really sort of scathing email saying, "How could you do this to me?" I wrote him back and said, "How can I do that to you? How could you all the things you did to me."  DG: Landon's new memoir bears it all. How he moved on from a tough childhood with a single mom and little resources and became one of the best Americans to ever play soccer.  : LD: Don't you find that you get to a point, though, where it's way more painful not to forgive?  DG: That is next time on Sports in America. This is Sports in America, I'm your host, David Greene. Our executive producers are Joan Isabella and Tom Grahsler. Our senior producer is Michael Olcott. Our producer is Michaela Winberg, and our associate producer is Bibiana Correa. Our engineer is Mike Villers. Our theme music is composed by Emma Munger. Our talent booker is Britt Kahn. Our tile artwork was created by Bea Walling. Sports in America is a production of WHYY in Philadelphia and is distributed by PRX. Some of our interviews we're originally created by Religion of Sports with special thanks to Adam Schlossman. You can find Sports in America on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, the iHeartRadio app, wherever you get your podcasts. And we also wanna hear from you. How about you drop us a line? You can write us at sportsinamerica@whyy.org. That's .sportsinamerica@whyy.org Thanks, everyone. And we will see you next time for Sports in America.