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Transcript

Why Playing It Safe Can Hurt You · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  Let's cut the BS. You got a thinking problem. What protected you yesterday is destroying you today. It's the voice that says, don't take risks, don't love, don't lead, you're just gonna end up failing. We need to unlearn them. Because it kept us safe in the past, we confuse it with wisdom. Fear-driven success.
• 0:19
  is never enjoyable. Here's the brutal truth. If you think the same, you'll live the same. To become what you've never been, you must do what you've never done. Ask yourself, is this thought even true? 99% of the time, it's not.
• 0:36
  Every answer you're searching for is hiding in stillness, solitude, and silence. Stop putting yourself in the line of fire. Learn the power of no excuses. Don't pay rent. Discipline does. Instead of, find me, you start saying, try me.
• 0:57
  I'm Kelly Siegel and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living. Welcome back to the Harder Life podcast. This episode is another topic that came from one of the listeners, one of you guys. Remember to email me at
• 1:18
  Kelly at harderthanlife.com. If you have a topic you'd like me to cover. The topic is smashing stinking thinking. Escape mind obstacles of defeat. And unleash the power of a corrupt mind. Guys you know how this works. I'm going to break it all down. Tell you stories. Weave in my antidote to this. And united we stand. Divided we fall. Together we rise. So Harder Than Life Nation. Let's cut the BS. You don't have money problem. You don't have a relationship problem.
• 1:47
  You don't even have a business problem. You got a thinking problem. It's not the economy, it's not your past, it's not your boss, your spouse, or your genetics. It's your corrupt mind, what I call stinking thinking. That's running the show while you keep wondering why life feels heavy, stuck, unfair. Today, I'm going to show you how to smash stinking thinking once and for all, not with fluffy affirmations,
• 2:17
  not with excuses, but with proven, brutal, loving truth. Because excuses don't get results. And results are all that matter. Actually, this one was a DM from Instagram, so thank you for messaging in. Keep messaging me, because the next several weeks are all yours. So if you're ready to break out of mental prison, unleash the absolute power inside of you, stick with me. It's this episode that changes everything. This is what we're really dealing with.
• 2:46
  I want you to understand this first. A corrupt mind is usually learned. You didn't wake up broken. You weren't born with a negative outlook. For me, it was my constant, never-ending, nagging stepfather always telling me,
• 3:02
  I would never amount to anything, how stupid I was or how ignorant, dumb and slow I was. Somewhere along the way though, through the trauma, through survival, through pain, we learned these thought patterns and we designed a protection against them. They shielded you from the fear, from the negativity, from the rejection and
• 3:27
  from the heartbreak but here's the problem it also shields you from all the good stuff so what protected you yesterday is destroying you today and some of us don't even know it so so many of us don't recognize the corrupt mind when it's controlling us i sure didn't for decades i thought my negative patterns were just my truth and i hung on to that
• 3:53
  like it was the truth. That's what makes this so dangerous. Stinking thinking masquerades as reality. The corrupt mind whispers,
• 4:03
  not good enough. Don't try it. You'll fail. Play it safe. Be small. Do more of what you hate. Maybe it'll finally work. And because it feels familiar, we believe it. The familiar misery. It's stepping out of that comfort zone and being comfortable being uncomfortable.
• 4:26
  Listen carefully, please. Familiarity doesn't mean true. Familiar means practiced. Playing safe will not get you to the next level. If you can practice negative thoughts for years, you can practice new ones that will serve you. That's what this episode is all about.
• 4:44
  Guys, it took me well into my healing journey to learn this. So thank you to the listener that made me think about this. And just to give you some background, when you guys message me, if enough people message the same request, I take that and I sit with it. And I do a lot of research and I do a lot of background and I make a bunch of notes. And then I get on here and I hit record and I start rambling on.
• 5:08
  Because I want to help. This is to make us all better. In this world, we all need to be emotionally intelligent. And I'm giving you the blueprint for that in every one of these Thursday episodes. So thank you for listening. Let's start by defining what a corrupt mind is. Here's the deal. A corrupt mind is a collection of lies we believe for so long that they feel like facts.
• 5:32
  This is why you hear me say thoughts are magical lies. We need to unlearn them. It's survival programming. It's the voice that says, stay small, stay hidden, don't take risks, don't love, don't lead. You're just going to end up failing. And because it kept us safe in the past, we confuse it with wisdom.
• 5:50
  But safety is not success. Survival is not thriving. Avoiding fear is not living. How many times have I said, face your fears, live your dreams? I didn't realize any of this until I started healing. Actually, well into my healing journey, I had gone decades running at full speed with a corrupt operating system in my head. I
• 6:14
  Thought it was normal. It was my normal. I thought everyone lived that way. Boy, was I wrong. And then one day, I looked around at my life. Big body. Big business. Big distractions. Lots of chaos. Lots of drama. And inside, I was still a scared kid from South Warren. From 8 Mile. That's when it clicked. My corrupt mind wasn't protecting me anymore. It was defeating me. It was keeping me small. And if you're honest with yourself...
• 6:43
  You know exactly what I'm talking about. I know, I could see you right now in your car shaking your head, yep, he's right. I've been there, I've done that. I've read many, many books, taken in many, many podcasts, had many, many interviews with people that will confirm this. So what does this look like in real life?
• 7:01
  The most dangerous trap is self-sabotage. High achievers know this one well. On the outside, they've got the cars, the title, the house, the body, the significant others. But inside, they're restless, they're bitter, and they're hollow. Why? Because they built it all on fear. Fear of not being enough. Fear of rejection. Fear of rejection.
• 7:22
  fear of failure, and if they just achieved enough, they would be successful, they would be somebody. A fear-driven success is never enjoyable, and it's very rarely everlasting. Usually, if you just watch Charlie Sheen, we're gonna blow it up. It needs to be built on love and abundance.
• 7:42
  So it's a glass ceiling. It keeps you hustling but never fulfilled. It's almost like you're a hamster on that hamster wheel just going round and round and round. Stinking thinking also shows up as negative loops that replay your worst memories. How many of you done that? Overthinking every decision.
• 8:00
  until you're paralyzed. I call it paralysis through analysis. Telling yourself you don't deserve joy, love, or peace. It also shows up as chasing the next win, hoping it finally will fill the emptiness you feel inside.
• 8:16
  Here's the brutal truth. If you think the same, you'll live the same. Spin it on its head. If nothing's changed, nothing changes. To break free, you gotta think differently. You gotta make change. And thinking differently means doing things you've never done before. Yes, the scary things, the unknown things, the uncomfortable things, the things you don't even think you can really do. So to become what you've never been, you must do something.
• 8:43
  what you've never done. Let me say that again. To become what you've never been, you must do what you've never done. You must learn things that you don't know.
• 8:55
  So hence, you're listening to this podcast and I love you for it. Excuses don't get results. Excuses are just stinking thinking with better marketing. How do you smash them? By creating non-negotiable winning habits. So let me make this practical for you. Set your gym clothes out the night before. Don't leave the choice to tomorrow morning. Pre-order healthy meals.
• 9:18
  So the excuse of I have no time or I grabbed whatever I could to eat, that excuse dies before it even starts. If alcohol tempts you, don't go to bars. Stop putting yourself in the line of fire. Learn the power of no. Only say yes to things that align with your mission. You hear me talking a lot about signal versus noise.
• 9:44
  Raising your standards, everything below your standard is noise, and just say no. No is a complete sentence and is a full answer, and it's taking back your power.
• 9:59
  Say no more often. Discipline isn't about willpower, it's about your environment. So if you keep your promises to yourself, even in small ways, you build trust. That trust turns into confidence and confidence crushes excuses before they can even open their mouth. Remember this one-liner, excuses don't pay rent, discipline does.
• 10:21
  How did I rewire my corrupt mind? Simple, gratitude, self-love, and discipline. Gratitude isn't just saying thank you, it's living in abundance even when you don't have much. Gratitude shifts your focus from what's missing to what's multiplying. Pro tip, when you're doing the gratitude, I usually don't repeat the same things. Don't say the same thing every single time. I'm grateful for my family.
• 10:45
  I'm grateful for my job. I'm grateful that I woke up today. Mix them up. As a matter of fact, I don't say the same gratitude sentence in the same week. Self-love. That's keeping promises to yourself. It's not bubble baths and spa days. It's waking up when you said you would. It's hitting the gym.
• 11:04
  Even when you're tired, it's turning down the drink, the drug, the distraction, because you love yourself enough to say no. Confidence is the reward of all this, and confidence comes only from action. When you live this way, you flip the script. Instead of, why me? You start saying, try me.
• 11:25
  Here's three steps to break loops now. If you're stuck in stinking thinking right now, I want you to start with these three steps. Three, that's it, and they are simple. First one, the sacred pause. Stop, breathe, ask yourself, is this thought even true?
• 11:42
  99% of the time, it's not. Thoughts are magical lies, I said it earlier. That was the hardest one. Take that sacred pause and ask yourself, is this true? Number two, build a body you're proud of. Look good, feel good, do good. Hit the gym, lift something heavy,
• 12:00
  Sweat out the excuses. For you ladies, do the yoga, do the Pilates. You can still lift weights. I assure you, you will not get a man's body. But people take people serious when they're in shape. They know that they can trust their word because they follow through day in and day out.
• 12:19
  Third thing, daily journaling and meditation. Write it down, sit in silence, eat clean, hydrate, sleep deep. Cut out the booze, people. Stay sober. No cannabis, no Xanax, none of that stuff. Feeling is healing. Sit in your shit and you will thank me for it. Get comfortable being uncomfortable and yes, get comfortable being alone.
• 12:43
  That's part of loving yourself. Every answer you're searching for is hiding in stillness, solitude, and silence. The three S's. Here's a one-liner you can tattoo on your brain. Your mind is loud. Your truth is quiet.
• 12:59
  Find it in silence. Heart of the Life Nation, listen up. Stinking thinking is not who you are. It's who you've practiced being. It's who you've used to survive and make it this far. But what got you here will keep you here. And what got you here won't take you there. But practice can change. Today you start practicing truth, your truth, the truth. Today we start practicing gratitude. Today we start practicing gratitude.
• 13:28
  we start practicing self love. And remember, excuses don't get results, familiar isn't truth, to break the ceiling you've gotta break your patterns. So here's my call to action, here's my challenge to you. This week, I want you to pick one toxic thought loop you've been stuck in. It could be anything. I'm not worthy of that significant other, that person. I am not worthy of making that much money.
• 13:54
  I can't possibly go to the gym. I can't possibly meditate. One, smash it with the sacred pause, replace it with gratitude, and take one action in alignment with your best self. Then please DM me or comment and tag me what you did in Instagram. I love you.
• 14:13
  Love seeing them. I can never get enough of them. Means that you're listening and it means that you're taking it and you're moving it forward. I see this every day, everywhere I go and it warms my heart. I do this for all you. I don't need to do this stuff, but I love doing it.
• 14:30
  Let's create a ripple effect of real transformation. Because when you smash stinking thinking, you didn't just escape defeat. You unleash a mind so powerful, it scares your old self and all your old friends. This is Kelly Siegel reminding you, be harder than life.
• 14:47
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.