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Transcript

Cathy Kahl: I Found God in AA · Why I Believe

• 0:00
  Kathy, come on up here.
• 0:01
  All right.
• 0:02
  Thank you so much for coming up here.
• 0:04
  You knew what you were getting into.
• 0:05
  Right.
• 0:06
  So you knew what was gonna happen.
• 0:08
  So Kathy, why don't you go ahead and say hi to everybody and introduce yourself for me?
• 0:12
  Thank you.
• 0:12
  And we'll do like right there.
• 0:14
  Right there.
• 0:17
  Kathy.
• 0:18
  You're gonna talk louder.
• 0:20
  And I'm grateful Michelle invited us both to share on the podcast today.
• 0:27
  I was searching for God.
• 0:29
  You're gonna be a little out there.
• 0:30
  I was searching for God for many years and um ended up uh realizing that my search was not good, that there was some things I needed to do to really find some delete and
• 0:47
  I was um exposed to some drinking for many years and it did not make me anywhere mainly when I realized that there was some some changes needed and stuffed out and obviously
• 1:02
  could be well.
• 1:03
  All right, so let's go ahead and have a seat and let's uh let's just have a friendly chat.
• 1:09
  How's that sound?
• 1:10
  Yeah, good.
• 1:11
  Yeah, so early this morning and yesterday I've had the chance to meet with Kathy and talk to her and
• 1:16
  Learned a few things about her.
• 1:17
  And one of the things I learned is that she had a really rough childhood.
• 1:21
  She really struggled through her childhood, which ultimately led to some drinking, right?
• 1:28
  and we don't need to talk about the challenges, right?
• 1:30
  Let's let's leave that for a different day.
• 1:32
  But you started drinking at thirteen.
• 1:34
  Yes.
• 1:35
  But drinking wasn't a problem until you got older.
• 1:38
  So you led a very successful group, you were very
• 1:41
  you know, career driven.
• 1:42
  Can you tell us a little bit about your career in like your adult life before we get into how you decided to recover and what was that um sticking point for you?
• 1:53
  Sure.
• 1:54
  oh Yeah, I I did have some I can't hear you.
• 1:59
  Um sorry okay.
• 2:01
  Sorry about that.
• 2:02
  Um how's this?
• 2:03
  This better?
• 2:03
  No here?
• 2:05
  How's this?
• 2:06
  Or am I holding?
• 2:08
  Just hold the whole thing like this.
• 2:10
  Like this.
• 2:11
  How's that?
• 2:12
  Is that better?
• 2:13
  Can you hear me now?
• 2:14
  A little bit.
• 2:15
  Get closer.
• 2:18
  sorry.
• 2:20
  That's better.
• 2:21
  Yeah, so so I did um try um some succession in in um my career.
• 2:29
  I went into real estate property management and um managed to real estate for actually thirty-two years.
• 2:36
  And during that time I managed to
• 2:39
  Make my life seem like it was working out and everything.
• 2:42
  I had everything together.
• 2:43
  Um and I was very successful and um, you know, moved up through corporate and uh realized at one point that I was just emotionally dead and it was from drinking and that I wasn't
• 2:58
  dealing with my life and my problems.
• 2:59
  I was just stopping them and putting myself into a career.
• 3:05
  And you know I had several broken relationships, um, some health issues, and uh I s was searching for God.
• 3:13
  I never really knew God.
• 3:14
  I had um some introduction um to Jesus in um childhood and that was just introduction and you know, some Bible study uh and a little bit of church, but not enough to make a
• 3:30
  difference.
• 3:31
  But you know, when I met people around
• 3:34
  that knew Jesus, I could see a different peace in them, joy, you know, they were different.
• 3:40
  And as I was in so much pain from not being my true authentic self and having bouts of depression, um, but continuing to struggle through life, I was like, I want that.
• 3:53
  I want what they have.
• 3:55
  So I started searching for it in different in different churches, uh some new age type things, which felt
• 4:03
  Good and they seem to know God, but I did kind of see that this is different.
• 4:09
  I'm not so sure about this.
• 4:12
  Uh, but I haven't given up the drinking.
• 4:14
  I still needed to escape in that drinking to instead of face my problems completely.
• 4:20
  But when it started to show that there was gonna be consequences from that, I I was told to seek a a recovery.
• 4:30
  So I
• 4:31
  Went into an AA recovery room and I saw that God was there in the steps that were on the wall.
• 4:40
  I also saw there were plaques on the wall that said things like, Let go and let God.
• 4:46
  And I was so shocked.
• 4:47
  I did not know that God was in the rooms of AA.
• 4:51
  And I saw that this program was not just some psycho battle, it always was spiritual.
• 4:58
  And I learned later that it was created ninety years ago and it started off with God and that's how the program started.
• 5:05
  So they still have a a strong spiritual relationship through that.
• 5:10
  So I said, Well God, here I am.
• 5:13
  And you know what God said back to me?
• 5:16
  He said, Okay, you're willing to give up the drink.
• 5:19
  I'm willing to help you.
• 5:24
  That's such a powerful message.
• 5:25
  So for those of you didn't hear, she said, God told her if you're willing to give up a drink, I'm here for you.
• 5:30
  And I would say you probably would consider yourself a or considered yourself a high functioning alcoholic, right?
• 5:36
  Yes.
• 5:38
  That is correct.
• 5:39
  Absolutely.
• 5:40
  I could do anything and everything.
• 5:42
  I had no consequences, but I was just emotionally dead, had no feelings.
• 5:47
  I was trying to decorate for Christmas one time and I'm like, this doesn't feel like anything, you know?
• 5:52
  Ooh.
• 5:55
  I think this is a valid point.
• 5:56
  I think a lot of people who are struggling, like I kinda said with Lisa, we go one way or the other.
• 6:00
  And I think that kinda hits different when you're at Christmas time, Advent season, everything's supposed to be amazing, right?
• 6:07
  We're celebrating the birth of Jesus and you're like, This is commercial or this is nothing and you don't have that feeling.
• 6:15
  We always want to have that feeling that we had when we were kids, going around a Christmas tree or something like that.
• 6:20
  But um it was all lost, right?
• 6:23
  You were just
• 6:24
  Down inside.
• 6:25
  And I think that's a key thing to talk about is because a lot of people can show an outward appearance that looks put together, looks successful.
• 6:33
  You're checking all the boxes, you're doing all the things, but you've lost who you were.
• 6:37
  And in the midst of that, you found something to replace it to numb the pain.
• 6:43
  So can you tell us how long have you been sober for now?
• 6:47
  Well, I have been sober now longer than I had drank.
• 6:51
  I drank about 25 years.
• 6:53
  And I have this over now twenty eight years.
• 7:04
  to grow in learning about God and wanting to know more about it and having a relationship with Him and staying sober, I could understand it all.
• 7:13
  I don't know.
• 7:13
  The Bible's pretty complicated.
• 7:15
  Yeah.
• 7:16
  And when you fill your brain cells, it's even more complicated.
• 7:19
  Um but um after uh finding this this and you know going to meetings, you always announce yourself as my name's Kathy, I'm an alkalan and other programs
• 7:34
  Don't have you do that, but this one does.
• 7:36
  And there's many ways to find ways to change any kind of addictions you have.
• 7:41
  They are out there.
• 7:42
  So um but now I know I can say I'm happy, I'm the body, the one should be.
• 7:47
  And I don't need to drain in it.
• 7:53
  I love that.
• 7:53
  And the daughter of the one true king.
• 7:55
  And one of the things that I do in my day job is I work with people and one of the things you talk about is your identity.
• 8:01
  Because so many times we put our identity into achievements and titles and all the things.
• 8:07
  Or, you know, even as you said, you you had to own the fact that you were an alcoholic to take ownership of that.
• 8:13
  And now you can say I'm a child of God, right?
• 8:16
  And that's the best title there is.
• 8:18
  It's life changing.
• 8:19
  Right?
• 8:20
  And then you feel that peace that comes over you know, you felt the peace.
• 8:23
  You get the peace, right?
• 8:24
  Yeah.
• 8:24
  It's amazing feeling when you decide to have that relationship with Jesus.
• 8:28
  And so how are you now taking everything that you learned, everything that you've been through, and how are you walking in your faith forward?
• 8:35
  How are you when I know you know you're married to Christian man, right?
• 8:38
  So that's cool.
• 8:39
  That's a good way to go.
• 8:39
  Yeah.
• 8:40
  How are you guys walking in your faith?
• 8:42
  What are you doing every day?
• 8:43
  How do you keep the spirit alive within?
• 8:45
  Yes.
• 8:47
  my gosh, the um the days are endless.
• 8:50
  Uh it's just a beautiful thing because um I'd had a couple of not successful marriages and I'd been widowed for ten years and was praying for a godly Christian man.
• 9:02
  And as we know, people don't always walk that wall, they claim it.
• 9:06
  But um when he said he was in Bible college, I'm like, okay, I might believe this.
• 9:11
  And so just three years ago, God put us together and I had been praying for
• 9:16
  The companion to do Christ with maybe missions, maybe ministry, maybe whatever.
• 9:22
  And we get to pray every day together, read the Bible and share testimonies with other people and give them hope and health and encouragement and whatever long they are with
• 9:34
  healing.
• 9:35
  As we're both healing recovered, we both got flawed souls, but we've got healed souls also.
• 9:41
  And the healing w outweighs the flawed.
• 9:46
  I love that.
• 9:47
  You know, and I don't know if you guys heard this or if people who are just coming in.
• 9:51
  We've got two women up here, both talking about marriages, both talking about failed marriages and recovery.
• 9:56
  And one of the things they're both doing is they're praying with their spa their partners all the time, right?
• 10:02
  To help build that strength in marriage.
• 10:04
  And I think that's such a beautiful message to share.
• 10:06
  I mean, we don't always do that, right?
• 10:08
  I can tell you that I don't always pray with my husband, but I hear time and time again that's the one thing to do.
• 10:13
  So don't stop dating each other and pray together.
• 10:17
  So if there's somebody walking in your shoes, it's either here today or listening later on, what is your what is the advice that you wanna give them?
• 10:25
  What do you want to tell them?
• 10:26
  What do you want them to leave this with?
• 10:31
  Now sees us as his children, his sons and daughters, first and foremost, anything, and he forgives us for all of our transgressions.
• 10:41
  All of them.
• 10:42
  And if you find yourself in a bad relationship, in some form of addiction, there is so much help that people want to see you as a healed person.
• 10:53
  They want to help you because we are freely giving help when we walk into any of these places.
• 10:59
  of recovery or in churches.
• 11:02
  And we freely love to also give back what was given to us.
• 11:06
  And so don't don't settle for unless them line.
• 11:11
  Don't settle for learning for your problems.
• 11:14
  You know, everybody's got and there's solutions to all of them.
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  And they may be deep, but they're worth it.
• 11:20
  They find the right help.
• 11:21
  I think Lisa mentioned some towns blues aren't for this.
• 11:25
  But there is so much help anywhere.
• 11:26
  You just keep looking till you find what's right for you and um mainly the relationship with Jesus, which will just naturally come if you're willing and you're wanting and you're
• 11:37
  desiring and you can stay focused with that.
• 11:44
  Thank you so much, Kathy, for coming up here and being vulnerable and sharing your story.
• 11:47
  Can we get her a round of applause, please?
• 11:49
  Yes.
• 11:50
  It's not easy to come up here and share your story.
• 11:53
  Neither of our ladies are public speakers.
• 11:55
  Right.
• 11:55
  So it's it's a challenge and I wanna just say thank you so much.
• 11:58
  Thank you, Michelle.