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How Can You Tackle Debt Together Without Blame? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 0:37
  The
• 0:37
  truth
• 0:38
  is,
• 0:38
  debt
• 0:38
  is
• 0:38
  heavy,
• 0:38
  isn't
• 0:39
  it?
• 0:39
  It
• 0:40
  weighs
• 0:40
  on
• 0:40
  your
• 0:40
  finances
• 0:41
  and
• 0:41
  it
• 0:42
  weighs
• 0:42
  on
• 0:42
  your
• 0:42
  emotions.
• 0:43
  And
• 0:44
  in
• 0:44
  a
• 0:44
  relationship,
• 0:45
  it
• 0:46
  can
• 0:46
  feel
• 0:46
  crushing.
• 0:47
  Those
• 0:47
  late
• 0:48
  night
• 0:48
  worries,
• 0:48
  that
• 0:49
  quiet
• 0:49
  resentment,
• 0:50
  that
• 0:50
  unspoken
• 0:51
  blame.
• 0:52
  And
• 0:52
  before
• 0:52
  you
• 0:53
  know
• 0:53
  it,
• 0:54
  the
• 0:54
  pressure
• 0:54
  of
• 0:54
  debt
• 0:55
  starts
• 0:56
  turning
• 0:56
  partners
• 0:57
  into
• 0:57
  opponents.
• 0:58
  So,
• 0:59
  friend,
• 0:59
  if
• 0:59
  debt
• 0:59
  has
• 1:00
  ever
• 1:00
  created
• 1:00
  tension
• 1:00
  between
• 1:01
  you
• 1:01
  and
• 1:01
  someone
• 1:01
  you
• 1:02
  love,
• 1:02
  this
• 1:02
  episode
• 1:03
  is
• 1:03
  for
• 1:03
  you.
• 1:04
  You're
• 1:05
  not
• 1:05
  failing.
• 1:05
  You're
• 1:06
  under
• 1:06
  pressure
• 1:07
  and
• 1:07
  you're
• 1:07
  going
• 1:08
  to
• 1:08
  be
• 1:08
  okay.
• 1:09
  So
• 1:09
  here's
• 1:10
  the
• 1:10
  question
• 1:10
  we're
• 1:10
  answering
• 1:11
  today.
• 1:11
  How
• 1:11
  can
• 1:12
  you
• 1:12
  tackle
• 1:12
  debt
• 1:13
  together
• 1:13
  without
• 1:14
  blame?
• 1:15
  And
• 1:15
  by
• 1:15
  the
• 1:15
  end
• 1:15
  of
• 1:15
  this
• 1:16
  episode,
• 1:16
  here's
• 1:16
  what
• 1:16
  I
• 1:16
  promise
• 1:17
  you.
• 1:17
  We're
• 1:18
  going
• 1:18
  to
• 1:18
  talk
• 1:18
  about
• 1:18
  today.
• 1:18
  Why
• 1:18
  debt
• 1:19
  is
• 1:19
  the
• 1:19
  enemy,
• 1:19
  not
• 1:20
  your
• 1:20
  spouse.
• 1:21
  How
• 1:21
  to
• 1:21
  create
• 1:22
  a
• 1:22
  united
• 1:22
  plan
• 1:22
  instead
• 1:23
  of
• 1:23
  separate
• 1:23
  stress.
• 1:24
  And
• 1:25
  how
• 1:25
  encouragement
• 1:26
  can
• 1:26
  replace
• 1:26
  accusation
• 1:27
  so
• 1:28
  progress
• 1:28
  feels
• 1:29
  possible.
• 1:29
  Again.
• 1:30
  Today
• 1:30
  isn't
• 1:30
  about
• 1:30
  finger
• 1:31
  pointing
• 1:31
  and
• 1:32
  it's
• 1:32
  definitely
• 1:32
  not
• 1:32
  about
• 1:33
  shame.
• 1:33
  It's
• 1:34
  about
• 1:34
  teamwork
• 1:34
  and
• 1:35
  hope.
• 1:57
  Hey,
• 1:57
  friend.
• 1:57
  Ralph
• 1:57
  Estep
• 1:58
  Jr.
• 1:58
  Here.
• 1:59
  Welcome
• 1:59
  to
• 1:59
  Financially
• 2:00
  Confident
• 2:00
  Christian.
• 2:01
  We
• 2:01
  learn
• 2:01
  how
• 2:01
  to
• 2:02
  walk
• 2:02
  through
• 2:02
  life
• 2:02
  and
• 2:02
  money
• 2:03
  with
• 2:03
  wisdom,
• 2:04
  with
• 2:04
  peace,
• 2:05
  and
• 2:05
  with
• 2:05
  a
• 2:05
  heart
• 2:06
  anchored
• 2:06
  in
• 2:06
  God's
• 2:06
  truth.
• 2:07
  My
• 2:07
  mission
• 2:08
  is
• 2:08
  simple.
• 2:08
  To
• 2:09
  help
• 2:09
  you
• 2:09
  break
• 2:09
  the
• 2:09
  cycle
• 2:10
  of
• 2:10
  financial
• 2:10
  shame
• 2:11
  and
• 2:11
  build
• 2:11
  steady
• 2:11
  habits
• 2:12
  rooted
• 2:12
  in
• 2:12
  faith
• 2:13
  and
• 2:13
  truly
• 2:14
  become
• 2:15
  financially
• 2:15
  confident
• 2:16
  Christians.
• 2:16
  And
• 2:17
  I
• 2:17
  am
• 2:17
  really
• 2:17
  glad
• 2:17
  you're
• 2:18
  here
• 2:18
  today.
• 2:18
  Yesterday
• 2:19
  we
• 2:19
  talked
• 2:19
  about
• 2:20
  how
• 2:20
  to
• 2:20
  have
• 2:20
  healthy
• 2:21
  financial
• 2:21
  conversations.
• 2:22
  We
• 2:22
  talked
• 2:23
  about
• 2:23
  choosing
• 2:23
  the
• 2:24
  right
• 2:24
  time,
• 2:24
  using
• 2:25
  the
• 2:25
  right
• 2:25
  words,
• 2:26
  and
• 2:26
  really
• 2:26
  building
• 2:27
  trust
• 2:27
  instead.
• 2:28
  Attention.
• 2:28
  It
• 2:28
  was
• 2:28
  a
• 2:28
  great
• 2:29
  show
• 2:29
  yesterday
• 2:30
  and
• 2:30
  today
• 2:30
  we're
• 2:30
  going
• 2:31
  to
• 2:31
  build
• 2:31
  directly
• 2:31
  on
• 2:32
  that
• 2:32
  because
• 2:33
  few
• 2:33
  topics
• 2:33
  test
• 2:34
  communications
• 2:35
  like
• 2:35
  debt.
• 2:36
  Debt
• 2:36
  has
• 2:37
  a
• 2:37
  way
• 2:37
  of
• 2:37
  turning
• 2:37
  a
• 2:37
  simple
• 2:38
  conversation
• 2:38
  into
• 2:39
  a
• 2:39
  painful
• 2:40
  one.
• 2:40
  So
• 2:41
  let's
• 2:41
  make
• 2:41
  it
• 2:41
  softer
• 2:42
  today.
• 2:42
  Here's
• 2:43
  the
• 2:43
  question
• 2:43
  I
• 2:43
  hear
• 2:44
  way
• 2:44
  too
• 2:44
  often.
• 2:45
  Sometimes
• 2:45
  spoken
• 2:46
  out
• 2:46
  loud,
• 2:47
  sometimes
• 2:47
  kept
• 2:47
  quiet.
• 2:48
  Ralph,
• 2:49
  how
• 2:49
  do
• 2:50
  we
• 2:50
  deal
• 2:50
  with
• 2:50
  debt
• 2:50
  without
• 2:51
  resenting
• 2:51
  each
• 2:51
  other?
• 2:52
  Or
• 2:52
  maybe
• 2:53
  this
• 2:53
  one.
• 2:53
  How
• 2:54
  do
• 2:54
  we
• 2:54
  stop
• 2:54
  bringing
• 2:55
  up
• 2:55
  the
• 2:55
  past?
• 2:56
  And
• 2:57
  friend,
• 2:57
  that
• 2:57
  question
• 2:58
  matters
• 2:59
  because
• 2:59
  debt
• 2:59
  doesn't
• 3:00
  just
• 3:00
  affect
• 3:00
  numbers,
• 3:01
  it
• 3:01
  affects
• 3:02
  hearts.
• 3:03
  If
• 3:03
  debt
• 3:04
  has
• 3:04
  brought
• 3:04
  frustration
• 3:05
  in
• 3:05
  your
• 3:05
  life,
• 3:06
  if
• 3:06
  past
• 3:07
  decisions
• 3:07
  keep
• 3:08
  being
• 3:08
  brought
• 3:08
  up,
• 3:09
  if
• 3:09
  you
• 3:09
  feel
• 3:09
  blamed,
• 3:10
  you've
• 3:10
  caught
• 3:10
  yourself
• 3:11
  blaming
• 3:11
  somebody
• 3:12
  else.
• 3:13
  You're
• 3:13
  not
• 3:13
  a
• 3:13
  bad
• 3:14
  spouse,
• 3:14
  you're
• 3:14
  not
• 3:14
  a
• 3:14
  bad
• 3:15
  partner.
• 3:16
  You're
• 3:16
  a
• 3:16
  person
• 3:17
  trying
• 3:17
  to
• 3:17
  breathe
• 3:17
  under
• 3:18
  a
• 3:18
  super
• 3:18
  heavy
• 3:19
  load.
• 3:20
  And
• 3:20
  debt
• 3:20
  has
• 3:21
  a
• 3:21
  sneaky
• 3:21
  way
• 3:21
  of
• 3:21
  making
• 3:22
  you
• 3:22
  feel
• 3:22
  like
• 3:22
  somebody
• 3:22
  else
• 3:23
  has
• 3:23
  to
• 3:23
  be
• 3:23
  at
• 3:23
  fault,
• 3:24
  doesn't
• 3:24
  it?
• 3:25
  So,
• 3:25
  friend,
• 3:25
  I
• 3:26
  want
• 3:26
  to
• 3:26
  start
• 3:26
  by.
• 3:27
  I
• 3:27
  want
• 3:27
  you
• 3:27
  to
• 3:27
  hear
• 3:27
  this.
• 3:29
  Pressure
• 3:29
  reveals
• 3:30
  stress
• 3:30
  points,
• 3:31
  not
• 3:31
  character
• 3:32
  flaws.
• 3:33
  Here's
• 3:33
  something
• 3:33
  we
• 3:33
  need
• 3:34
  to
• 3:34
  state
• 3:34
  clearly
• 3:34
  right
• 3:35
  from
• 3:35
  the
• 3:35
  beginning.
• 3:35
  Debt
• 3:36
  is
• 3:36
  the
• 3:36
  enemy.
• 3:38
  It's
• 3:38
  debt
• 3:39
  that's
• 3:39
  the
• 3:39
  enemy,
• 3:39
  not
• 3:40
  your
• 3:40
  spouse.
• 3:40
  Not
• 3:41
  your
• 3:41
  partner,
• 3:41
  not
• 3:42
  the
• 3:42
  person
• 3:42
  sitting
• 3:43
  across
• 3:43
  from
• 3:43
  you
• 3:43
  right
• 3:44
  now.
• 3:44
  When
• 3:45
  couples
• 3:46
  fight
• 3:46
  each
• 3:46
  other
• 3:46
  over
• 3:47
  debt,
• 3:47
  the
• 3:48
  debt
• 3:48
  actually
• 3:48
  wins.
• 3:50
  Because
• 3:50
  while
• 3:50
  you're
• 3:50
  arguing,
• 3:51
  guess
• 3:51
  what
• 3:51
  happens?
• 3:52
  Nothing
• 3:52
  changes.
• 3:53
  Your
• 3:53
  balance
• 3:53
  doesn't
• 3:54
  go
• 3:54
  down,
• 3:54
  the
• 3:54
  interest
• 3:55
  doesn't
• 3:55
  stop,
• 3:55
  and
• 3:56
  you're
• 3:56
  not
• 3:56
  building
• 3:56
  any
• 3:56
  plans.
• 3:58
  But
• 3:58
  when
• 3:58
  you
• 3:59
  team
• 3:59
  up,
• 3:59
  even
• 4:00
  small
• 4:00
  progress
• 4:01
  starts
• 4:02
  to
• 4:02
  feel
• 4:02
  like
• 4:02
  hope
• 4:03
  again.
• 4:04
  And
• 4:04
  I've
• 4:04
  walked
• 4:04
  with
• 4:04
  many
• 4:05
  couples
• 4:05
  through
• 4:05
  debt.
• 4:06
  People
• 4:06
  with
• 4:06
  different
• 4:06
  incomes,
• 4:07
  different
• 4:08
  mistakes,
• 4:08
  and
• 4:09
  different
• 4:09
  stories.
• 4:11
  And
• 4:11
  what
• 4:11
  I
• 4:11
  found
• 4:11
  that
• 4:12
  couples
• 4:12
  who
• 4:12
  make
• 4:12
  progress
• 4:13
  aren't
• 4:13
  the
• 4:14
  ones
• 4:14
  who
• 4:14
  never
• 4:14
  messed
• 4:15
  up.
• 4:16
  They're
• 4:16
  the
• 4:16
  ones
• 4:16
  who
• 4:16
  learn
• 4:17
  to
• 4:17
  fight
• 4:17
  the
• 4:17
  problem
• 4:18
  but
• 4:18
  fight
• 4:19
  it
• 4:19
  together.
• 4:20
  Not
• 4:20
  perfectly,
• 4:21
  but
• 4:21
  consistently.
• 4:23
  I
• 4:23
  once
• 4:23
  spoke
• 4:23
  with
• 4:23
  a
• 4:24
  couple
• 4:24
  who
• 4:24
  said,
• 4:24
  we
• 4:24
  keep
• 4:25
  arguing
• 4:25
  about
• 4:25
  who
• 4:25
  caused
• 4:26
  the
• 4:26
  dick
• 4:26
  route.
• 4:27
  Every
• 4:27
  conversation
• 4:28
  turned
• 4:28
  into
• 4:29
  a
• 4:29
  history
• 4:29
  lesson.
• 4:30
  Let
• 4:30
  me
• 4:30
  tell
• 4:30
  you,
• 4:30
  they
• 4:30
  had
• 4:30
  a
• 4:30
  history.
• 4:31
  Who
• 4:31
  spent
• 4:32
  what,
• 4:32
  who
• 4:33
  should
• 4:33
  have
• 4:33
  known
• 4:33
  better,
• 4:33
  and
• 4:34
  who
• 4:34
  didn't
• 4:34
  speak
• 4:34
  up
• 4:35
  the
• 4:35
  whole
• 4:35
  time.
• 4:36
  And
• 4:37
  then
• 4:37
  I
• 4:37
  asked
• 4:37
  a
• 4:38
  simple
• 4:38
  question.
• 4:39
  I
• 4:39
  said
• 4:40
  to
• 4:40
  them,
• 4:40
  what
• 4:40
  if
• 4:40
  neither
• 4:41
  of
• 4:41
  you
• 4:41
  is
• 4:41
  the
• 4:41
  enemy?
• 4:42
  They
• 4:43
  looked
• 4:43
  at
• 4:43
  me
• 4:43
  like
• 4:43
  I
• 4:43
  was
• 4:43
  crazy.
• 4:44
  I
• 4:44
  said,
• 4:45
  what
• 4:45
  if
• 4:45
  debt
• 4:45
  is
• 4:45
  the
• 4:46
  enemy
• 4:46
  and
• 4:47
  you're
• 4:47
  actually
• 4:47
  on
• 4:47
  the
• 4:47
  same
• 4:48
  side?
• 4:49
  See
• 4:49
  that
• 4:49
  framing,
• 4:50
  that
• 4:50
  reframing
• 4:51
  changed
• 4:51
  everything.
• 4:53
  They
• 4:53
  stopped
• 4:53
  rehashing
• 4:54
  the
• 4:54
  past
• 4:55
  and
• 4:55
  started
• 4:55
  to
• 4:55
  plan
• 4:55
  in
• 4:56
  the
• 4:56
  future.
• 4:57
  And
• 4:57
  once
• 4:57
  that
• 4:58
  plan
• 4:58
  existed,
• 4:59
  peace
• 4:59
  started
• 5:00
  to
• 5:00
  return.
• 5:00
  Now,
• 5:00
  listen,
• 5:01
  it
• 5:01
  wasn't
• 5:01
  overnight.
• 5:02
  It
• 5:02
  didn't
• 5:02
  happen
• 5:03
  right
• 5:03
  away.
• 5:03
  It
• 5:04
  took
• 5:04
  time,
• 5:05
  but
• 5:05
  it
• 5:05
  was
• 5:05
  noticeable.
• 5:07
  So
• 5:07
  here's
• 5:07
  today's
• 5:08
  central
• 5:08
  question.
• 5:09
  Are
• 5:09
  you
• 5:09
  fighting
• 5:10
  each
• 5:10
  other
• 5:11
  or
• 5:11
  fighting
• 5:12
  debt
• 5:12
  together?
• 5:12
  That's
• 5:13
  really
• 5:13
  what
• 5:13
  we
• 5:13
  have
• 5:13
  to
• 5:14
  narrow
• 5:14
  down
• 5:14
  today.
• 5:15
  Because,
• 5:15
  friend,
• 5:15
  your
• 5:15
  answer
• 5:16
  to
• 5:16
  that
• 5:16
  question
• 5:17
  changes
• 5:17
  everything.
• 5:18
  Because
• 5:18
  teamwork
• 5:19
  doesn't
• 5:20
  just
• 5:20
  pay
• 5:20
  off
• 5:20
  debt.
• 5:21
  It
• 5:21
  protects
• 5:21
  the
• 5:22
  relationship
• 5:22
  while
• 5:23
  you're
• 5:23
  paying
• 5:23
  it
• 5:23
  off.
• 5:23
  Because,
• 5:24
  listen,
• 5:24
  if
• 5:24
  the
• 5:24
  relationship
• 5:25
  dies,
• 5:25
  what's
• 5:25
  the
• 5:26
  point?
• 5:26
  So
• 5:27
  let's
• 5:27
  walk
• 5:27
  through
• 5:27
  this
• 5:27
  gently.
• 5:28
  I'm
• 5:28
  going
• 5:28
  to
• 5:28
  give
• 5:28
  you
• 5:28
  a
• 5:29
  simple
• 5:29
  path.
• 5:29
  It's
• 5:30
  called
• 5:30
  name,
• 5:30
  plan,
• 5:31
  encourage,
• 5:31
  and
• 5:32
  protect.
• 5:33
  Name
• 5:33
  is
• 5:33
  the
• 5:33
  beginning.
• 5:34
  Name
• 5:34
  the
• 5:34
  enemy
• 5:35
  correctly.
• 5:35
  Say
• 5:36
  it
• 5:36
  out
• 5:36
  loud.
• 5:36
  Debt
• 5:37
  is
• 5:37
  the
• 5:37
  problem.
• 5:38
  Debt
• 5:39
  is
• 5:39
  the
• 5:40
  problem,
• 5:40
  not,
• 5:41
  you're
• 5:41
  the
• 5:41
  problem.
• 5:41
  So
• 5:42
  many
• 5:42
  times
• 5:42
  when
• 5:42
  I'm
• 5:42
  working
• 5:43
  with
• 5:43
  couples,
• 5:43
  the
• 5:43
  first
• 5:44
  thing
• 5:44
  I
• 5:44
  hear
• 5:44
  is,
• 5:44
  well,
• 5:44
  you're
• 5:44
  the
• 5:45
  problem.
• 5:45
  He
• 5:45
  did
• 5:45
  this,
• 5:46
  she
• 5:46
  did
• 5:46
  that.
• 5:47
  Even
• 5:48
  that
• 5:48
  one
• 5:48
  sentence
• 5:49
  can
• 5:49
  soften
• 5:49
  the
• 5:49
  room
• 5:49
  when
• 5:50
  you
• 5:50
  say
• 5:50
  debt
• 5:51
  is
• 5:51
  the
• 5:51
  problem
• 5:51
  because
• 5:52
  it
• 5:52
  stops
• 5:52
  the
• 5:52
  attack
• 5:53
  and
• 5:53
  it
• 5:53
  starts
• 5:54
  the
• 5:54
  alliance.
• 5:56
  Try
• 5:56
  this
• 5:56
  phrase,
• 5:57
  I
• 5:58
  want
• 5:58
  us
• 5:58
  on
• 5:58
  the
• 5:58
  same
• 5:59
  team.
• 5:59
  I
• 5:59
  want
• 5:59
  us
• 5:59
  working
• 6:00
  together.
• 6:01
  And
• 6:01
  then
• 6:01
  once
• 6:01
  you
• 6:01
  do
• 6:02
  that,
• 6:02
  plan
• 6:02
  together,
• 6:02
  don't
• 6:03
  plan
• 6:03
  separately.
• 6:04
  This
• 6:04
  is
• 6:04
  big.
• 6:05
  Debt
• 6:05
  gets
• 6:05
  heavier
• 6:06
  when
• 6:06
  one
• 6:06
  person
• 6:06
  carries
• 6:07
  the
• 6:07
  plan
• 6:07
  alone.
• 6:07
  How
• 6:08
  many
• 6:08
  times
• 6:08
  have
• 6:09
  you
• 6:09
  tried
• 6:09
  to
• 6:09
  be
• 6:09
  what
• 6:09
  I
• 6:09
  want
• 6:09
  to
• 6:09
  figure
• 6:10
  this
• 6:10
  out?
• 6:10
  I'm
• 6:10
  gonna
• 6:10
  do
• 6:10
  it
• 6:10
  myself.
• 6:11
  It
• 6:12
  doesn't
• 6:12
  work
• 6:12
  well.
• 6:13
  It
• 6:13
  builds
• 6:13
  resentment.
• 6:15
  So
• 6:15
  build
• 6:15
  a
• 6:16
  simple
• 6:16
  shared
• 6:16
  plan.
• 6:17
  It
• 6:17
  can
• 6:17
  be
• 6:17
  small,
• 6:18
  it
• 6:18
  can
• 6:18
  be
• 6:18
  messy
• 6:19
  at
• 6:19
  first,
• 6:20
  but
• 6:20
  it
• 6:20
  needs
• 6:20
  agreement
• 6:21
  on
• 6:21
  the.
• 6:21
  Here's
• 6:22
  we're
• 6:22
  gonna
• 6:22
  do.
• 6:22
  It
• 6:22
  starts
• 6:23
  by
• 6:23
  picking
• 6:23
  a
• 6:23
  payment
• 6:24
  method.
• 6:24
  We
• 6:24
  talked
• 6:24
  about
• 6:24
  this
• 6:24
  a
• 6:25
  couple
• 6:25
  weeks
• 6:25
  ago.
• 6:25
  Whether
• 6:26
  you
• 6:26
  do
• 6:26
  the
• 6:26
  snowball
• 6:26
  method
• 6:27
  where
• 6:27
  you
• 6:27
  pay
• 6:27
  the
• 6:27
  smallest
• 6:28
  bounce
• 6:28
  first,
• 6:28
  or
• 6:29
  the
• 6:29
  avalanche
• 6:29
  method
• 6:30
  with
• 6:30
  the
• 6:30
  highest
• 6:30
  interest
• 6:30
  rates,
• 6:31
  I
• 6:31
  don't
• 6:31
  really
• 6:31
  care
• 6:31
  which
• 6:31
  one
• 6:31
  you
• 6:32
  use.
• 6:32
  But
• 6:33
  be
• 6:33
  in
• 6:33
  agreement,
• 6:34
  because
• 6:34
  here's
• 6:34
  the
• 6:34
  truth.
• 6:35
  The
• 6:35
  plan
• 6:35
  matters
• 6:36
  less
• 6:36
  than
• 6:36
  agreeing
• 6:37
  on
• 6:37
  it
• 6:37
  together.
• 6:37
  That's
• 6:37
  why
• 6:37
  it's
• 6:38
  got
• 6:38
  to
• 6:38
  be
• 6:38
  together.
• 6:38
  Because
• 6:39
  agreement
• 6:39
  builds
• 6:40
  that
• 6:40
  buy
• 6:40
  in.
• 6:41
  And
• 6:41
  that
• 6:42
  buy
• 6:42
  in
• 6:42
  is
• 6:42
  going
• 6:43
  to
• 6:43
  need
• 6:43
  to
• 6:43
  be
• 6:43
  there
• 6:44
  for
• 6:44
  consistency.
• 6:45
  And
• 6:46
  here's
• 6:46
  the
• 6:46
  one
• 6:46
  thing
• 6:46
  I'm
• 6:46
  gonna
• 6:46
  tell
• 6:47
  you
• 6:47
  right
• 6:47
  now.
• 6:47
  Make
• 6:47
  the
• 6:47
  plan
• 6:48
  visible.
• 6:48
  A
• 6:49
  sticky
• 6:49
  note,
• 6:49
  a
• 6:49
  whiteboard,
• 6:50
  a
• 6:50
  shared
• 6:51
  note
• 6:51
  on
• 6:51
  your
• 6:51
  phone.
• 6:52
  Because
• 6:52
  debt
• 6:53
  loves
• 6:53
  secrecy.
• 6:54
  But
• 6:54
  plans
• 6:54
  thrive
• 6:55
  in
• 6:55
  the
• 6:55
  light.
• 6:56
  Here's
• 6:57
  another
• 6:57
  thing
• 6:57
  I'm
• 6:57
  going
• 6:57
  to
• 6:57
  do.
• 6:58
  I'm
• 6:58
  going
• 6:58
  to
• 6:58
  encourage
• 6:58
  you
• 6:59
  to
• 6:59
  be
• 6:59
  more
• 7:00
  encouraging
• 7:01
  more
• 7:01
  than
• 7:01
  you
• 7:01
  accuse
• 7:02
  somebody.
• 7:02
  Because
• 7:03
  debt
• 7:03
  makes
• 7:03
  couples
• 7:04
  speak
• 7:04
  sharply
• 7:04
  to
• 7:05
  each
• 7:05
  other.
• 7:06
  Because
• 7:06
  fear
• 7:06
  has
• 7:07
  a
• 7:07
  tone.
• 7:07
  It
• 7:08
  just
• 7:08
  does.
• 7:09
  But
• 7:09
  encouragement
• 7:10
  creates
• 7:10
  endurance.
• 7:12
  So
• 7:12
  celebrate
• 7:12
  those
• 7:12
  small
• 7:13
  wins
• 7:14
  you
• 7:14
  paid
• 7:14
  off
• 7:14
  a
• 7:14
  store
• 7:15
  card.
• 7:15
  Celebrate
• 7:15
  that.
• 7:16
  That's
• 7:16
  an
• 7:16
  accomplishment.
• 7:17
  Made
• 7:18
  one
• 7:18
  extra
• 7:18
  payment.
• 7:19
  Celebrate
• 7:19
  that.
• 7:20
  Now,
• 7:20
  I'm
• 7:20
  not
• 7:20
  saying
• 7:20
  to
• 7:20
  go
• 7:20
  build
• 7:21
  more
• 7:21
  debt
• 7:21
  to
• 7:21
  it.
• 7:22
  Stuck
• 7:23
  to
• 7:23
  the
• 7:23
  plan
• 7:23
  for
• 7:23
  two
• 7:24
  weeks.
• 7:24
  Celebrate
• 7:24
  that,
• 7:25
  friend.
• 7:26
  Progress
• 7:26
  grows
• 7:27
  faster
• 7:27
  when
• 7:27
  it's
• 7:28
  noticed.
• 7:28
  You've
• 7:28
  got
• 7:28
  to
• 7:28
  notice
• 7:29
  these
• 7:29
  things.
• 7:30
  And
• 7:30
  try
• 7:30
  this
• 7:30
  gentle
• 7:31
  habit
• 7:31
  for
• 7:31
  every
• 7:32
  one
• 7:32
  hard
• 7:32
  conversation.
• 7:33
  Make
• 7:34
  sure
• 7:34
  there
• 7:34
  are
• 7:34
  five
• 7:35
  team
• 7:35
  moments,
• 7:35
  things
• 7:35
  where
• 7:36
  you
• 7:36
  can
• 7:36
  thank
• 7:36
  each
• 7:37
  other,
• 7:37
  maybe
• 7:37
  give
• 7:37
  each
• 7:38
  other
• 7:38
  a
• 7:38
  hug.
• 7:38
  We're
• 7:39
  doing
• 7:39
  this.
• 7:39
  I'm
• 7:39
  proud
• 7:40
  of
• 7:40
  us.
• 7:41
  And
• 7:42
  finally,
• 7:42
  protect
• 7:43
  the
• 7:43
  relationship
• 7:43
  while
• 7:43
  you
• 7:44
  pay
• 7:44
  it
• 7:44
  off.
• 7:45
  This
• 7:45
  might
• 7:45
  be
• 7:45
  the
• 7:46
  most
• 7:46
  important
• 7:46
  point
• 7:47
  altogether
• 7:47
  today.
• 7:48
  Because
• 7:48
  debt
• 7:49
  freedom
• 7:49
  isn't
• 7:49
  worth
• 7:50
  it
• 7:50
  if
• 7:50
  you
• 7:50
  lose
• 7:51
  closeness
• 7:51
  along
• 7:52
  the
• 7:52
  way.
• 7:52
  I've
• 7:52
  seen
• 7:52
  people
• 7:53
  get
• 7:53
  the
• 7:53
  debt
• 7:53
  paid
• 7:54
  off,
• 7:54
  man,
• 7:54
  but
• 7:54
  they
• 7:54
  went
• 7:54
  in
• 7:54
  separate
• 7:55
  directions,
• 7:56
  and
• 7:57
  it
• 7:57
  just
• 7:57
  destroyed
• 7:58
  the
• 7:58
  relationship.
• 8:00
  So
• 8:00
  protect
• 8:00
  your
• 8:00
  tone,
• 8:01
  protect
• 8:01
  your
• 8:02
  unity,
• 8:02
  and
• 8:03
  protect
• 8:03
  your
• 8:03
  peace.
• 8:03
  Make
• 8:04
  one
• 8:04
  agreement.
• 8:05
  We
• 8:06
  do
• 8:06
  not
• 8:06
  use
• 8:06
  debt
• 8:07
  as
• 8:07
  a
• 8:07
  weapon.
• 8:08
  Put
• 8:09
  that
• 8:09
  in
• 8:09
  writing.
• 8:10
  Make
• 8:10
  it
• 8:10
  something
• 8:10
  you
• 8:10
  both
• 8:10
  agree
• 8:11
  to.
• 8:11
  We
• 8:11
  do
• 8:11
  not
• 8:11
  use
• 8:12
  debt
• 8:12
  as
• 8:12
  a
• 8:12
  weapon.
• 8:13
  No
• 8:13
  sarcasm,
• 8:14
  no.
• 8:14
  No
• 8:14
  threats,
• 8:15
  no
• 8:15
  shaming,
• 8:16
  no
• 8:16
  replaying
• 8:17
  of
• 8:17
  old
• 8:17
  mistakes,
• 8:17
  no
• 8:18
  listing
• 8:18
  those
• 8:18
  things
• 8:18
  that
• 8:19
  you
• 8:19
  did
• 8:19
  this
• 8:19
  and
• 8:19
  you
• 8:19
  did
• 8:20
  that
• 8:20
  is
• 8:20
  not
• 8:20
  going
• 8:21
  to
• 8:21
  help
• 8:21
  you
• 8:21
  anymore.
• 8:22
  You
• 8:22
  can
• 8:22
  be
• 8:23
  honest
• 8:23
  without
• 8:23
  being
• 8:24
  harsh.
• 8:24
  You
• 8:25
  can
• 8:25
  be
• 8:25
  serious
• 8:25
  without
• 8:26
  being
• 8:26
  cruel.
• 8:28
  And
• 8:28
  if
• 8:28
  you're
• 8:28
  thinking,
• 8:29
  wait
• 8:29
  a
• 8:29
  minute,
• 8:29
  Ralph,
• 8:30
  but
• 8:30
  wait
• 8:30
  a
• 8:30
  minute,
• 8:30
  my
• 8:31
  spouse
• 8:31
  really
• 8:31
  did
• 8:31
  cause
• 8:32
  it,
• 8:33
  friend,
• 8:33
  I
• 8:33
  hear
• 8:33
  you,
• 8:34
  and
• 8:34
  that's
• 8:34
  real
• 8:34
  pain.
• 8:36
  But
• 8:36
  here's
• 8:36
  What
• 8:37
  I
• 8:37
  know
• 8:38
  blame
• 8:38
  is
• 8:38
  never
• 8:38
  going
• 8:39
  to
• 8:39
  pay
• 8:39
  that
• 8:39
  balance
• 8:39
  off.
• 8:41
  It's
• 8:41
  not
• 8:41
  going
• 8:41
  to
• 8:41
  solve
• 8:41
  the
• 8:42
  problem.
• 8:43
  But
• 8:43
  teamwork
• 8:44
  will.
• 8:45
  And
• 8:45
  healing
• 8:45
  is
• 8:45
  possible,
• 8:46
  even
• 8:46
  if
• 8:46
  it's
• 8:47
  slow.
• 8:48
  Let's
• 8:48
  get
• 8:48
  right
• 8:48
  into
• 8:48
  the
• 8:49
  word
• 8:49
  today.
• 8:49
  Let's
• 8:49
  go
• 8:49
  to
• 8:49
  Ecclesiastes
• 8:51
  4,
• 8:52
  9.
• 8:52
  Two
• 8:53
  are
• 8:53
  better
• 8:53
  than
• 8:53
  one
• 8:54
  because
• 8:54
  they
• 8:54
  have
• 8:54
  a
• 8:55
  good
• 8:55
  return
• 8:55
  for
• 8:55
  their
• 8:55
  labor.
• 8:56
  And
• 8:57
  friend,
• 8:57
  that
• 8:57
  verse
• 8:57
  is
• 8:58
  so
• 8:58
  practical
• 8:58
  for
• 8:59
  today.
• 9:00
  Together
• 9:00
  multiplies
• 9:01
  effort,
• 9:02
  together
• 9:03
  multiplies
• 9:04
  endurance.
• 9:04
  And
• 9:05
  together
• 9:06
  it
• 9:06
  truly
• 9:06
  does
• 9:07
  multiply
• 9:07
  hope.
• 9:08
  See,
• 9:08
  debt
• 9:08
  wants
• 9:09
  isolation,
• 9:10
  but
• 9:10
  God's
• 9:11
  wisdom
• 9:11
  invites
• 9:12
  partnership.
• 9:13
  So
• 9:14
  here's
• 9:14
  your
• 9:14
  simple
• 9:14
  step
• 9:15
  for
• 9:15
  today.
• 9:15
  It's
• 9:15
  small,
• 9:16
  but
• 9:16
  it
• 9:16
  is
• 9:16
  super
• 9:17
  powerful.
• 9:17
  I
• 9:17
  want
• 9:17
  you
• 9:18
  to
• 9:18
  write
• 9:18
  this
• 9:18
  sentence
• 9:19
  somewhere
• 9:19
  visible.
• 9:20
  We
• 9:20
  are
• 9:20
  a
• 9:20
  team
• 9:21
  against
• 9:22
  debt.
• 9:23
  We
• 9:24
  are
• 9:24
  a
• 9:24
  team
• 9:25
  against
• 9:25
  debt.
• 9:26
  Put
• 9:26
  it
• 9:26
  on
• 9:26
  a
• 9:26
  mirror,
• 9:27
  put
• 9:27
  it
• 9:27
  in
• 9:27
  a
• 9:28
  notebook,
• 9:28
  put
• 9:28
  it
• 9:28
  in
• 9:29
  your
• 9:29
  phone.
• 9:30
  And
• 9:30
  do
• 9:30
  one
• 9:31
  more
• 9:31
  thing.
• 9:31
  I
• 9:31
  want
• 9:31
  you
• 9:32
  to
• 9:32
  schedule
• 9:32
  a
• 9:32
  20
• 9:32
  minute
• 9:33
  debt
• 9:33
  huddle
• 9:33
  this
• 9:34
  week.
• 9:34
  This
• 9:34
  isn't
• 9:34
  a
• 9:35
  time
• 9:35
  to
• 9:35
  argue.
• 9:35
  This
• 9:36
  isn't
• 9:36
  a
• 9:36
  time
• 9:36
  to
• 9:36
  talk
• 9:37
  about
• 9:37
  blame
• 9:37
  or
• 9:37
  any
• 9:37
  of
• 9:38
  those
• 9:38
  things.
• 9:38
  And
• 9:38
  just
• 9:39
  answer
• 9:39
  three
• 9:39
  questions.
• 9:41
  What
• 9:41
  do
• 9:41
  we
• 9:41
  owe
• 9:42
  right
• 9:42
  now?
• 9:42
  What's
• 9:43
  our
• 9:43
  next
• 9:43
  smallest
• 9:44
  win?
• 9:44
  And
• 9:45
  what's
• 9:45
  one
• 9:45
  sacrifice
• 9:46
  we
• 9:46
  can
• 9:46
  share
• 9:47
  this
• 9:47
  week
• 9:47
  to
• 9:47
  make
• 9:47
  this
• 9:48
  happen?
• 9:48
  That's
• 9:48
  it.
• 9:48
  I
• 9:49
  just
• 9:49
  want
• 9:49
  you
• 9:49
  to
• 9:49
  build
• 9:50
  that
• 9:50
  teamwork
• 9:51
  together.
• 9:51
  Just
• 9:51
  20
• 9:51
  minutes
• 9:52
  to
• 9:52
  start
• 9:53
  on
• 9:53
  that
• 9:53
  debt
• 9:54
  payment
• 9:54
  plan.
• 9:56
  Let's
• 9:56
  pray
• 9:56
  together.
• 9:57
  Lord,
• 9:58
  thank
• 9:58
  you
• 9:58
  for
• 9:58
  unity
• 9:59
  in
• 9:59
  relationships.
• 10:00
  Debt
• 10:01
  feels
• 10:01
  heavy
• 10:02
  and
• 10:02
  you
• 10:02
  see
• 10:03
  every
• 10:03
  ounce
• 10:03
  of
• 10:03
  it.
• 10:03
  Lord,
• 10:04
  help
• 10:05
  couples
• 10:05
  fight
• 10:06
  the
• 10:06
  problem,
• 10:06
  not
• 10:06
  each
• 10:07
  other
• 10:07
  anymore.
• 10:08
  Give
• 10:08
  them
• 10:08
  encouragement
• 10:09
  instead
• 10:09
  of
• 10:09
  accusation.
• 10:11
  Give
• 10:11
  them
• 10:11
  patience
• 10:12
  for
• 10:12
  the
• 10:12
  process
• 10:13
  and
• 10:14
  give
• 10:14
  them
• 10:14
  wisdom
• 10:15
  for
• 10:15
  the
• 10:15
  plan.
• 10:16
  And
• 10:16
  Lord,
• 10:16
  restore
• 10:17
  peace
• 10:17
  in
• 10:17
  their
• 10:17
  home.
• 10:18
  One
• 10:18
  small
• 10:18
  step
• 10:19
  at
• 10:19
  a
• 10:19
  time.
• 10:19
  And
• 10:19
  we
• 10:19
  ask
• 10:20
  this
• 10:20
  in
• 10:20
  Jesus
• 10:21
  name.
• 10:22
  Amen.
• 10:24
  Friend.
• 10:24
  If
• 10:24
  you're
• 10:24
  tired
• 10:25
  of
• 10:25
  money
• 10:25
  shame,
• 10:26
  I
• 10:26
  want
• 10:26
  you
• 10:26
  to
• 10:27
  hear
• 10:27
  this
• 10:27
  clearly.
• 10:27
  There
• 10:27
  is
• 10:28
  a
• 10:28
  better
• 10:28
  way.
• 10:28
  I
• 10:28
  wrote
• 10:28
  a
• 10:28
  book.
• 10:29
  It's
• 10:29
  called
• 10:29
  how
• 10:29
  to
• 10:30
  Become
• 10:30
  a
• 10:30
  Financially
• 10:31
  Confident
• 10:31
  Christian.
• 10:32
  It's
• 10:32
  a
• 10:32
  book
• 10:32
  about
• 10:33
  peace.
• 10:33
  It's
• 10:34
  a
• 10:34
  book
• 10:34
  about
• 10:34
  direction.
• 10:35
  And
• 10:35
  it's
• 10:36
  really
• 10:36
  a
• 10:36
  book
• 10:36
  about
• 10:36
  learning
• 10:37
  to
• 10:37
  trust
• 10:37
  God
• 10:37
  again.
• 10:38
  It's
• 10:38
  not
• 10:38
  about
• 10:39
  lectures.
• 10:40
  It's
• 10:40
  not
• 10:40
  about
• 10:40
  condemnation.
• 10:41
  It's
• 10:42
  just
• 10:42
  a
• 10:42
  next
• 10:43
  step.
• 10:43
  And
• 10:43
  you
• 10:43
  can
• 10:43
  get
• 10:43
  your
• 10:44
  copy
• 10:45
  at
• 10:46
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/becoming
• 10:48
  that's
• 10:49
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/becoming.
• 10:52
  Make
• 10:52
  sure
• 10:52
  you
• 10:52
  get
• 10:52
  your
• 10:52
  copy
• 10:53
  today,
• 10:54
  friend.
• 10:54
  Debt
• 10:55
  doesn't
• 10:55
  define
• 10:56
  your
• 10:56
  marriage.
• 10:57
  Your
• 10:57
  willingness
• 10:57
  to
• 10:58
  fight
• 10:58
  together
• 10:58
  does
• 10:59
  define
• 10:59
  it.
• 10:59
  And
• 11:00
  even
• 11:00
  if
• 11:00
  you've
• 11:00
  had
• 11:00
  rough
• 11:01
  times,
• 11:02
  you
• 11:02
  can
• 11:02
  start
• 11:02
  again
• 11:03
  right
• 11:03
  now,
• 11:04
  right
• 11:04
  today.
• 11:04
  Just
• 11:05
  one
• 11:05
  plan,
• 11:06
  one
• 11:06
  conversation,
• 11:07
  and
• 11:07
  just
• 11:07
  one
• 11:08
  small
• 11:08
  win.
• 11:09
  You're
• 11:09
  going
• 11:09
  to
• 11:10
  be
• 11:10
  okay.
• 11:10
  And
• 11:11
  tomorrow
• 11:11
  we're
• 11:11
  going
• 11:11
  to
• 11:11
  continue
• 11:12
  this
• 11:12
  with
• 11:12
  another
• 11:12
  big
• 11:13
  question.
• 11:13
  This
• 11:14
  was
• 11:14
  a
• 11:14
  question
• 11:14
  I
• 11:14
  get
• 11:15
  all
• 11:15
  the
• 11:15
  time.
• 11:16
  Should
• 11:17
  couples
• 11:17
  combine
• 11:17
  finances?
• 11:19
  What
• 11:19
  are
• 11:19
  the
• 11:19
  pros,
• 11:20
  what
• 11:20
  are
• 11:20
  the
• 11:20
  cons?
• 11:21
  And
• 11:21
  what's
• 11:21
  the
• 11:21
  biblical
• 11:21
  view?
• 11:22
  Yes,
• 11:22
  there's
• 11:22
  actually
• 11:22
  a
• 11:23
  biblical
• 11:23
  view
• 11:23
  to
• 11:23
  this.
• 11:23
  So
• 11:24
  if
• 11:24
  you
• 11:24
  ever
• 11:24
  ask
• 11:24
  that
• 11:24
  question,
• 11:25
  make
• 11:25
  sure
• 11:25
  you
• 11:25
  join
• 11:26
  me
• 11:26
  on
• 11:26
  tomorrow's
• 11:26
  show.
• 11:27
  And
• 11:28
  if
• 11:28
  this
• 11:28
  episode
• 11:28
  helped
• 11:29
  you
• 11:29
  today,
• 11:29
  I
• 11:29
  want
• 11:29
  you
• 11:29
  to
• 11:29
  share
• 11:30
  with
• 11:30
  someone
• 11:30
  else.
• 11:30
  Carrying
• 11:31
  debt
• 11:31
  in
• 11:31
  a
• 11:31
  marriage.
• 11:32
  There
• 11:32
  are
• 11:32
  so
• 11:32
  many
• 11:32
  people
• 11:33
  that
• 11:33
  are
• 11:33
  fighting
• 11:34
  about
• 11:34
  debt.
• 11:34
  Share
• 11:35
  this
• 11:35
  show
• 11:35
  with
• 11:35
  them,
• 11:35
  because
• 11:36
  this
• 11:36
  show
• 11:36
  isn't
• 11:36
  about
• 11:37
  financial
• 11:37
  shame.
• 11:38
  It's
• 11:38
  about
• 11:38
  learning
• 11:38
  to
• 11:39
  walk
• 11:39
  in
• 11:39
  wisdom,
• 11:40
  staying
• 11:40
  steady
• 11:41
  and
• 11:41
  anchored,
• 11:41
  and
• 11:42
  becoming
• 11:43
  a
• 11:43
  financially
• 11:43
  confident
• 11:44
  Christian.
• 11:44
  God
• 11:45
  bless
• 11:45
  you,
• 11:45
  friend,
• 11:45
  and
• 11:46
  make
• 11:46
  sure
• 11:46
  you
• 11:46
  join
• 11:46
  me
• 11:46
  again
• 11:47
  for
• 11:47
  tomorrow's
• 11:47
  show.