Latest / She Speaks to Scale / 6. Why You Don’t Feel Ready to Speak (And How to Start Anyway)
Transcript
- Sarah Collins: Thank you for listening to this episode of She Speaks to Scale. If you liked the episode or you think it will be useful for someone else, please follow and leave a review. If you've got any questions, do let me know via the social handles in the show notes. And remember to speak with intention, not hesitation, and let your voice be heard. I want to start by sharing the inspiration this episode. Hello and welcome to She Speaks to Scale with me, Sarah Collins. The podcast that empowers women in business to own their voice, be heard and create impact, one communication insight at a time. I'm a media trainer and communication coach and a former senior television producer. It's my mission to bring the communication skills we need to thrive in today's world of business to the generation of women who simply weren't taught them. So I put my 13 year old daughter forward for a talk for a charity that is close to our hearts. She's really into drama and performing arts and is used to being on stage. So I didn't think that that act of public speaking would phase her. Whether it's scaling your voice to step into thought leadership in a media interview, speaking with confidence on camera, on stage and beyond, or scaling the way you communicate when it really counts. This podcast will help you use your voice to be heard in the moments that matter. The date was set. She had her speech written out ⁓ About a week before she started asking me questions around logistics and how everything was going to work. And that's when I knew that the nerves had kicked in for her. Then on the day her hands were physically trembling, she didn't want to eat anything beforehand. And she was sat there and kept sipping on her water, waiting for her name to be called. Now there were probably around 150 people in the audience and I could have felt like a really bad mom in that moment putting her through all of that. But I knew deep down inside that she was going to be okay. ⁓ And she walked up really confidently, gave a brilliant talk She even said afterwards that she loved it. And it was wonderful to see her confidence soaring It really, made me proud. It also made me reflect on some of the opportunities that I've created for myself this year, ranging from challenges to in-person workshops, podcast guest interviews, radio interviews, all opportunities to speak that I would never have even dreamed of doing a few years ago when I was still in the corporate world. what I know about you is that by listening to this podcast, I know that you are someone who has ambition, ⁓ strive to do better, you're always wanting to improve yourself in some way. And speaking in front of others either doesn't come naturally to you or for whatever reason you're scared to put yourself in those situations. And I know you feel that way because that was me. I spent 20 years hiding behind the camera, avoiding it at all costs. fearing that my heart would race, I'd blush or stumble over my words ⁓ and be judged or rejected by other people. Now you might not feel ready right now. I didn't either. Not knowing what to say might be holding you back. Yep, that was me too. Or that dreaded fear of judgment could be stopping you from progressing. And if that's you, then it might be that what you're actually experiencing is speaking anxiety. So let's talk a little bit more about that. Speaking anxiety is when you have feelings of worry, nervousness, ⁓ dread when it comes to speaking front of other people. And in the moment you might experience heart palpitations, shaking, blushing, ⁓ a trembling voice amongst many other Perhaps what you experience goes even further than that. What you might have is actually a phobia. Now, according to the Cambridge dictionary, a phobia is an extreme fear or dislike of a particular thing or situation. The ⁓ that severe phobias can cause a person to organize their life around avoiding the thing that's causing them anxiety. There's even a word for public speaking anxiety. It's called glossophobia. And let me tell you, you're not alone. ⁓ In a 2023 YouGov survey, 15 % of Britons admitted to having claustrophobia, an overwhelming and debilitating fear of having to stand up and speak in front of other people. And in fact, 49 % of those surveyed, that's almost half, either had a fear or were somewhat scared of doing this. What I found really interesting though about this survey is that the fear was most common in those age 39 to 57. So whereas some thopias fade as you age, this one seems most prevalent in this age bracket. And this backs up my theory that the generation coming through now are being taught the skills they need to be comfortable with these practices more so than our generation. So how can you combat this? If you have an extreme fear, do seek out help from a medical professional. But if you feel it's not so extreme and something you'd like to overcome, then listen on. I really have heard it all before. Once my website is ready, I have a bigger following. When I have the time, then I'll be ready and then I'll seek out those speaking opportunities. But ready is not a feeling, it's a decision you make. not feeling ready or the continual tweaking of tech, for example, can lead to procrastination, delay, and stops you from taking any action in the first place. Seeking out opportunities to speak does take courage. It takes motivation and it takes being proactive. But when you make that decision that you're ready, great things can happen. Some of my clients have gone on to confidently speak at networking events, launch a podcast, deliver their own workshops, speak on panels and in media interviews, all because they invested themselves in gaining the right help when it was needed. And goals like these might feel like a big leap to you right now, but they are possible. might need a helping hand, someone to guide you and hold you accountable to help you take action towards them. If you're starting out or near the start of your speaking journey, these are the types of opportunities I would recommend. First, I want you to start with your own network and look locally for any opportunities. Because the great thing about this is that you'll likely have people there who can support you rather than a new cold audience. This could be things like being a podcast guest for someone in your network, ⁓ asking to deliver a presentation at giving a talk for a community you know well, perhaps a local networking group, or asking to speak on an online summit. And even online opportunities really help to raise your confidence and are a great starting point. I want you to inquire about these opportunities and then most importantly, set a date for when it will happen and tell people about it to hold you accountable. So in the lead up to your speaking opportunity, how do you set yourself up for success? And what we're looking for here is setting yourself up emotionally, mentally and physically. And each of these is of equal importance. So when we look at setting yourself up emotionally, this is your decision and your commitment to take the action. So you need to decide you are ready. You need to book the opportunity and set the date. And then connect to your why. Why does this matter to you? And this helps shift your fear towards the impact that you're going to make. And then setting yourself up mentally. So this is how you're thinking in the lead up to the opportunity. I want you to reframe the language you are telling yourself from I'm nervous to I'm excited from what if I mess up to what if this goes really well. You could also add some positive mantras in here too. And these are great for in the moment if you're doubting yourself or feeling like your confidence just needs a bit of a boost. Things like, I know what I'm talking about and I have value to add. And then you could visualize a positive outcome. So see yourself speaking confidently and your audience truly engaging with what you are saying. Trust me, this helps. And then something that is often overlooked, but actually is really important is setting yourself up physically. So what are you doing in the lead up to that event? Are you looking after your body, eating well, keeping hydrated and moving more? then you want to manage your state in the moment. Our natural reaction is to speed everything up. we want to slow everything down. slow down your breathing, ⁓ and that will in turn slow down your pace as well. And what this does is it signals to your brain that you safe. And then ground yourself before you speak. So feel your feet on the floor, take a deep breath and pause before you begin. Setting yourself up for success is really all in the preparation, not just what you're going to say, but how you're going to support yourself through the process to achieve your goal. It's not about removing the nerves completely. Every guest I've interviewed so far for this podcast has claimed that they still find the nerves kick in when they speak. And that's saying something. We all get nervous. It's completely normal, but it's about knowing how to acknowledge the nerves and then keep moving forwards despite them. Now, the more you place yourself in these speaking opportunities, the more evidence you give yourself that you can do it. Just like my daughter did, she didn't feel ready. Her hands were shaking, her nerves kicked in, ⁓ but she did anyway. And what came out of it? and increasing confidence and pride in herself as well. And that's what I want for you too. Because every time you say yes to an opportunity, you are proving to yourself that you can do this, your voice matters, and you're capable of more than you thought. So let me ask you, what opportunity could you create and say yes to this month? Decide to be ready at this moment, right now, not next month, not next year, but now. And if you're looking for support to help you take that next step, whether that's preparing for a speaking opportunity, stepping into media interviews, or simply building the confidence to use your voice more, that's exactly the work I do with my clients. You can reach out to me via the details in the show notes.