Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / COLD CUTS: Jase's Yarn Of The Century

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COLD CUTS: Jase's Yarn Of The Century · The Hauraki Big Show

0:01
Speaker 1: The whole Aching Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kyzy.
0:04
Speaker 1: Tune in week days at four on Radio hod Ikey.
0:07
Speaker 2: I am there on the Radio Hodarchy Big Show this
0:09
Speaker 2: Monday afternoon, twenty five minutes past four o'clock. Now many
0:13
Speaker 2: people think, of course, that the first of September signals
0:16
Speaker 2: the start of spring.
0:17
Speaker 3: Not so no.
0:18
Speaker 2: I think it's the twenty first of the around that
0:21
Speaker 2: time that spring officially starts. But we've had some crazy
0:25
Speaker 2: wearether fellls, and we've been talking about how you.
0:27
Speaker 3: Deal with it.
0:28
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I didn't realize, but I made a mistake
0:30
Speaker 4: when because it was super windy in Auckland, Yes, and
0:34
Speaker 4: I closed up my house tight, all the windows, all
0:36
Speaker 4: the doors garaged or everything closed up. And that's how
0:39
Speaker 4: I dealt with the wind. And it worked because my
0:42
Speaker 4: house is totally fine this time this time luckily, Yeah, luckily.
0:46
Speaker 4: But what I didn't realize was that you're supposed to
0:48
Speaker 4: do with you did Jace, which has open all the
0:49
Speaker 4: windows and doors and let the wind pass through and
0:52
Speaker 4: the rain and the rain, and they only had a
0:54
Speaker 4: minimal damage on your house, didn't.
0:55
Speaker 3: It so well? Yeah, we ruined all the carpets and
0:57
Speaker 3: the floors, et cetera.
0:58
Speaker 2: But as I say, the the essential skeleton of the
1:02
Speaker 2: house will remained.
1:03
Speaker 5: It's a few windows out as well.
1:05
Speaker 3: A few windows it actually blew them right off.
1:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it didn't just break the glass, It actually
1:10
Speaker 2: took the whole window out, the hinges.
1:12
Speaker 5: And everything, the hinges, the frame and if.
1:16
Speaker 4: You tax here on three four eighty three, I thought
1:19
Speaker 4: the windy wind was from Hoidy j breathing through his honker.
1:22
Speaker 5: That's good stuff. Actually that's not funny jokes. I don't
1:25
Speaker 5: think that's funny, man um.
1:28
Speaker 2: He says as he what sucks as massive bigod gdular.
1:34
Speaker 4: Snot, that's not what just happened. Man, Come on, bro,
1:36
Speaker 4: no one heard that fells. I coped by having a
1:39
Speaker 4: massive feed of reburger. This person near backing you up, Jas,
1:42
Speaker 4: you're one hundred percent correct. Your house needs to breathe. Yes,
1:47
Speaker 4: I didn't.
1:47
Speaker 5: Realize the house needed to breathe.
1:48
Speaker 2: I don't think he realized, actually, Kesy, how close he
1:51
Speaker 2: came to death favor the weekend?
1:52
Speaker 5: Yeah right, well yeah, I'll never make that mistake again.
1:55
Speaker 6: No, don't you simply mausn't for me, Jay, So I
1:59
Speaker 6: went with a different way of securing the house. This
2:04
Speaker 6: time around, I thought I try something else, because of
2:06
Speaker 6: course there is that famous saying batten down the hatches.
2:10
Speaker 6: Have you heard of that keysing?
2:11
Speaker 5: It wasn't that like a ship thing?
2:13
Speaker 6: It's nautical. Yeah, that's right, it's nautical. So that's what
2:17
Speaker 6: I did. I batten down the hatches. Now, obviously I
2:19
Speaker 6: don't have hatches and on a house, but I've got
2:22
Speaker 6: windows and doors, et cetera. So I just went round.
2:25
Speaker 6: Luckily my wife and Dora, my wife had.
2:29
Speaker 5: Left me again, yeah, right for the weekend.
2:31
Speaker 6: Yeah, And so I just went around and just nailed
2:34
Speaker 6: all the windows shut. So nailed all the windows shut,
2:37
Speaker 6: all the doors, put some boards up over the windows
2:40
Speaker 6: as well, nailed all those downscrewed those down as well,
2:44
Speaker 6: the French doors, the whole lot.
2:46
Speaker 3: Just nailed everything shut.
2:48
Speaker 6: Right, which was good because what you don't want, Jason,
2:51
Speaker 6: is what you've got.
2:52
Speaker 3: Now.
2:52
Speaker 6: I know you're handy, so you can put the windows
2:54
Speaker 6: back up when you get them back from the neighbors joint,
2:57
Speaker 6: Whereas I'm not as good as that because I've got
2:58
Speaker 6: a little bit on at the moment. Yeah, so i'd
3:01
Speaker 6: rather just I thought i'd try and batten down the
3:03
Speaker 6: hatches and just see how we went right?
3:05
Speaker 4: And then so you bettened up all the windows, all doors,
3:08
Speaker 4: and then how did you get inside?
3:10
Speaker 6: That was the thing? Yeah, I was stuck outside. So
3:13
Speaker 6: in the end I had to chain myself to our trampoline.
3:17
Speaker 6: It was a freaky, freaky experience.
3:20
Speaker 5: Fly away last time.
3:22
Speaker 6: It did fly away this time because I don't know
3:23
Speaker 6: if you know, but that was the windiest wind we've
3:25
Speaker 6: had in a long.
3:26
Speaker 3: Time and the raneest rain.
3:28
Speaker 6: And we're sort of over by the harbor bridge there,
3:30
Speaker 6: and so we caught one of the great thermals that's
3:33
Speaker 6: gone up there sort of at Saint Mary's Bay there,
3:36
Speaker 6: and I was at probably six seven hundred meters and terrifying.
3:41
Speaker 6: Hell of a you got us? Aren't we lucky to
3:43
Speaker 6: live in Tummocky Makoto.
3:44
Speaker 3: It's a beautiful place.
3:46
Speaker 6: But Jesus absolutely put the ships up me.
3:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not with a trampoline sort of attached here,
3:51
Speaker 2: you know what I mean?
3:52
Speaker 5: How did you what happened? How did you land safely?
3:54
Speaker 2: Oh?
3:54
Speaker 6: It wasn't safely so much as I landed on my
3:56
Speaker 6: back were not my back but the back of the trampoline.
3:59
Speaker 6: In the in the harbor, oh right, yeah, and I
4:02
Speaker 6: got picked up by the Wahiki ferry.
4:05
Speaker 5: Oh wow, thankfully, Yeah, far out.
4:08
Speaker 4: So you still maintain that those two options are better
4:10
Speaker 4: ways to sort of prepare your house than what I did.
4:12
Speaker 6: Well, obviously the mistake that I made, yeah, was not
4:16
Speaker 6: chaining the trampoline to a fence or something.
4:18
Speaker 3: Yes, that was my era.
4:19
Speaker 5: Yeah right.
4:22
Speaker 1: The Hidarchy Big Show week days from four on Radio Hdarchy.
4:26
Speaker 2: Talking heads there on the Radio Hodarchy Big Show this
4:29
Speaker 2: Tuesday afternoon. The time is five twenty seven. I tell
4:32
Speaker 2: you what, fellows, I am fizzing for next year now, yeah,
4:37
Speaker 2: can you.
4:38
Speaker 3: Send that to me? By the way, Mogi, no worries, mate, Yeah. Yeah.
4:41
Speaker 3: The itinery from a Europe trip.
4:43
Speaker 4: If you've just joined us, Mogan, I've just made a
4:45
Speaker 4: week long itinery for Jase to go on holiday to
4:47
Speaker 4: Europe next year. If you miss it, you can always
4:49
Speaker 4: check out the Best of the Big Show podcast, which
4:51
Speaker 4: comes out every day. Another thing I'd love to have
4:55
Speaker 4: a sort of a it involves you, Jason, a practice run,
5:00
Speaker 4: that is you using a new yarn music. So yesterday
5:04
Speaker 4: on the show we chose the new end of show music.
5:08
Speaker 4: So just before seven o'clock you'll hear the new song.
5:11
Speaker 4: We all voted on it, and this is how we'll
5:13
Speaker 4: close out the show.
5:14
Speaker 5: Which is cool.
5:18
Speaker 4: You know, that's a great little in it. It's bloody good.
5:21
Speaker 4: And also, Jase, just because you know, we love your yarns.
5:25
Speaker 4: Whenever you're telling a yarn. We had two songs to
5:27
Speaker 4: choose between, so you can have this underneath it, which
5:33
Speaker 4: I do quite like.
5:35
Speaker 3: Or do you remember what that's from? Mogi? This kind
5:38
Speaker 3: of feels like era man, no, no idea.
5:40
Speaker 5: You also got this one. So what I was thinking
5:44
Speaker 5: is do you want to tell a yarn? Do you
5:46
Speaker 5: want to just spin a yarn? A classic Hoidy j
5:49
Speaker 5: one and then I'll just bring in the music.
5:51
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, sure, just have a maybe I was thinking
5:55
Speaker 2: that first one.
5:56
Speaker 3: Maybe?
5:56
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, okay, that well, I sort of feel like
5:59
Speaker 6: we should sitting there and you should just be talking, Jason,
6:02
Speaker 6: and then as the you know, the reality of what
6:07
Speaker 6: the story is reveals itself, then that will mean we'll
6:11
Speaker 6: either play this song or this song fall into one
6:14
Speaker 6: of the.
6:14
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. So do you want to
6:18
Speaker 5: launch into a yarn?
6:19
Speaker 3: Sure? Tell you what feels you're a cool.
6:24
Speaker 2: Of course, last weekend, my wife and I finally baited
6:30
Speaker 2: the bullet weave the garden. Oh yes, you know we
6:34
Speaker 2: we both actually hate the gardening side of things, you know.
6:37
Speaker 2: And and as a consequence, everything got out of control
6:40
Speaker 2: and it made it even worse.
6:41
Speaker 4: Do you know.
6:42
Speaker 6: I was talking to some of your neighbors and they
6:43
Speaker 6: refer to you as the Twits.
6:48
Speaker 5: That's a great book, by the way, I'd be stoked.
6:50
Speaker 6: Roll the Twits, you know, sort of got that overground here,
6:53
Speaker 6: you know, dementia.
6:58
Speaker 3: So and listen to him.
7:00
Speaker 5: And then what happened in the garden.
7:02
Speaker 2: And then I said to my wife, because it's so overwhelming,
7:05
Speaker 2: It's like, when did we even begin? And I said, hey,
7:09
Speaker 2: hang about I've got an idea and she went, oh, yes, darling.
7:19
Speaker 3: What's that?
7:19
Speaker 2: And I said, how about just for one hour, just
7:24
Speaker 2: for one hour, we concentrate on this little section of garden, yeah,
7:30
Speaker 2: and get just shiver it out, put it all in
7:34
Speaker 2: the bin there.
7:34
Speaker 3: I'll check it down the back and see how we go.
7:37
Speaker 3: Just for one hour.
7:38
Speaker 5: You're right, did you do it?
7:40
Speaker 3: We sure did.
7:41
Speaker 5: Did you use any power tools or anything?
7:42
Speaker 3: No, there were no power tools.
7:43
Speaker 2: It was all just human power feelings right, and we
7:47
Speaker 2: were amazed, actually, we were stunned by how much actually
7:52
Speaker 2: we cleared out in one hour. Can I be honest
7:55
Speaker 2: with your feelings, Just as a little aside here, it's.
7:57
Speaker 3: Probably about an hour twenty an hour thirty yeah, right,
8:01
Speaker 3: so technically it wasn't just one hour.
8:04
Speaker 5: Did anything go wrong?
8:05
Speaker 2: Oh, you'll recall actually that I said to my wife,
8:14
Speaker 2: you know that we've got a gate down the side
8:15
Speaker 2: of the house there, Yeah, and we haven't used that
8:19
Speaker 2: gate and it was not lie for ten years.
8:22
Speaker 3: We haven't opened that gate.
8:23
Speaker 2: Wow.
8:24
Speaker 3: And you've got to remember that this.
8:26
Speaker 2: Gate's got been covered in bush. Yeah, So we got
8:34
Speaker 2: rid of all the bush bugging me. If the bust
8:37
Speaker 2: isn't all rusted up, Jase, yeah, that you aren't ruled
8:42
Speaker 2: this great.
8:48
Speaker 1: The Darky Big Show with Jason, Mike and Keyzy tune
8:51
Speaker 1: in week days at four on Radio hodaking.
8:53
Speaker 2: The cult there on the Radio Hodarky Big Show. This
8:56
Speaker 2: our Wednesday evening five thirty eight, we have.
8:59
Speaker 4: Teamed up with our mates at trade Tested dot Co
9:01
Speaker 4: dot in z once again for Big Deck Energy. Every
9:04
Speaker 4: single Friday this month, we will be calling someone and
9:07
Speaker 4: giving them two five hundred dollars.
9:08
Speaker 5: Worth of trade tested products.
9:09
Speaker 4: So good, that is great trade tests and do all
9:12
Speaker 4: sorts of stuff outdoor stuff for your deck. If you
9:14
Speaker 4: want to get your deck all set up, your barbies,
9:16
Speaker 4: you know, your umbrowllers, your brolly's, yes, seating, all that
9:19
Speaker 4: sort of stuff here to trade tested dot co dot
9:21
Speaker 4: in z. Look around there and put together a shopping
9:24
Speaker 4: list worth up to two five hundred dollars. Then go
9:27
Speaker 4: to Hodaki dot co, dot in z. Tell us what
9:29
Speaker 4: you've done into the comp and we could be calling
9:31
Speaker 4: you Friday.
9:32
Speaker 2: And I think we're doing it every Friday this month. Fellers,
9:35
Speaker 2: how good.
9:35
Speaker 5: It is awesome and don't forget Jason.
9:37
Speaker 4: Actually just quickly to make your deck great with trade
9:40
Speaker 4: tested Fellers.
9:43
Speaker 3: I got a bone to pick?
9:44
Speaker 5: Whoa, I got a bone A bit.
9:49
Speaker 6: Today before the show. Was a little bit peckish, so
9:52
Speaker 6: I went over to the sushi store. Oh yeah, they
9:54
Speaker 6: do a little bit of a discount over there, Fellers.
9:57
Speaker 6: I bought a selection of meats on sticks, shoe my pork,
10:02
Speaker 6: schue may scenario delicious bastard, A couple of spring rolls,
10:08
Speaker 6: A yum.
10:09
Speaker 3: What are they carry rolls or spring rolls? Because they're different.
10:12
Speaker 6: I think they're a bit Curryosh, to be honest, if
10:14
Speaker 6: you're nice and that a spring roll, Yes, I don't
10:16
Speaker 6: like a spring roll. Brought them back, he offered them
10:19
Speaker 6: around old packs. He was hoing into the bastards like
10:22
Speaker 6: nobody's business. Very generous, Hoidy j scoffing them back. You
10:26
Speaker 6: bet yeah, oh, Keysy said no. Keysey wasn't interested. I
10:31
Speaker 6: just had just eaten Yeah yeah, so tucked into it.
10:34
Speaker 1: We round.
10:34
Speaker 6: About fifteen minutes later, old Hoydy Jizbot comes into the office.
10:38
Speaker 6: He smuggled in another packet of chips from the a SEC.
10:43
Speaker 4: He's stolen another bag. Yeah, okay, so my hands are cleaner.
10:46
Speaker 4: I haven't stolen a bag in a long time.
10:48
Speaker 3: What a des graceful lie. What a disgraceful lie? Does
10:56
Speaker 3: it anyway? I could carry on with your your little
10:59
Speaker 3: story there?
11:04
Speaker 6: Does he offer anyone else to.
11:06
Speaker 2: Do?
11:06
Speaker 6: You see what I'm saying, Man, if that was true, Jason,
11:10
Speaker 6: I'm not saying that hypothetically, yea pathetically pathetically? What would
11:17
Speaker 6: you say about that?
11:18
Speaker 2: What I would say is this, on previous occasions where
11:23
Speaker 2: it has been true that I have stolen chips from
11:27
Speaker 2: the ACC.
11:28
Speaker 7: Okay, so yesterday, to my experience, has been every time,
11:33
Speaker 7: not once or twice, but every time, Old two fist
11:37
Speaker 7: Mogi needs no invitation to hoe into seid stolen chips.
11:43
Speaker 2: And so therefore, were it say to have happened today,
11:47
Speaker 2: which it didn't, it is just my expectation that Mogi
11:53
Speaker 2: would would come. He would naturally too fest out and
11:57
Speaker 2: walk away and put us eat up on the desk
12:01
Speaker 2: there and shove them in his gob.
12:03
Speaker 5: Do you think that's come about? His way of doing
12:06
Speaker 5: it has come about because of your I don't know,
12:09
Speaker 5: aversion to offering and sharing.
12:11
Speaker 3: I always offer.
12:13
Speaker 2: What I've noticed is because of hypothetically this is this
12:18
Speaker 2: is what I've noticed because of two fest Mogi. Now
12:22
Speaker 2: Pugsign's doing it. Because what happens is you create a
12:27
Speaker 2: situation whereby everyone thinks Mogi is going to dive in there,
12:31
Speaker 2: three quarters of the packet are going to go in
12:34
Speaker 2: one go, so I've got to dive in. So now
12:37
Speaker 2: I've got a scenario where old Pug Sun and Studio
12:40
Speaker 2: B is also two festing it.
12:42
Speaker 3: Right, So I've got four.
12:45
Speaker 2: Fests happening here, and I ended up sucking up the
12:48
Speaker 2: chips in the corners of the bag remaining hypothetically hypothetic.
12:53
Speaker 5: That was real specific for hypothetical. Oh that's good man,
12:57
Speaker 5: I'm glad you're not.
12:59
Speaker 3: Yeah.
12:59
Speaker 6: The only reason, of course I double fist is because
13:01
Speaker 6: you're such a hummery with those chips. I can't get
13:04
Speaker 6: in there. So I take my one opportunity. I take
13:06
Speaker 6: as many as I can get, and then it seems
13:08
Speaker 6: to me coming back. But it's good to know that
13:11
Speaker 6: the doors always were open for old Mogi over there.
13:15
Speaker 1: Certainly Man the whole Achy Big Show with Jason, Mike
13:19
Speaker 1: and Kezy tune in week days at four on Radio
13:22
Speaker 1: Hold Iky.
13:23
Speaker 2: David Bowie there on the Radio Hodarky Big Show this
13:26
Speaker 2: Thursday evening. Now, I came across a phrase today which
13:29
Speaker 2: I've never heard before, and it's just it's called a
13:31
Speaker 2: stag bag.
13:32
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's something I've invented. I just rhymed, right, and
13:36
Speaker 4: I'm going on a stag doing. I always take my
13:37
Speaker 4: bag with me carry on, and there's always certain things
13:40
Speaker 4: I'd put in a stag bag for whenever I'm going
13:43
Speaker 4: on a staggy Because big weekend, obviously, you want to
13:46
Speaker 4: make sure that you're really making the most of it
13:48
Speaker 4: by being prepared. I've got pugs to find me some
13:52
Speaker 4: some heavy like sort of cool rock and roll stag music.
13:54
Speaker 5: So hang on, Yeah, can.
14:00
Speaker 2: I just ask there's a stag bag the same as
14:03
Speaker 2: a fanny peck.
14:04
Speaker 4: It can be a fanny peck, although my stag bag
14:07
Speaker 4: needs to be like a over the shoulder bag.
14:09
Speaker 3: Right.
14:10
Speaker 5: They might take on an air like to the gym
14:11
Speaker 5: or something.
14:12
Speaker 3: So you're going to a stag do with a fanny peck.
14:14
Speaker 3: It's not what I say.
14:17
Speaker 4: All right, fellows, the first thing you need in your
14:19
Speaker 4: stag bag, I'm ask right, because you're going to be
14:23
Speaker 4: sharing a bedroom with some blokes who are steam They're
14:26
Speaker 4: gonna be snoring.
14:27
Speaker 5: Yeah, curtains are probably gonna be shit, light's gonna be flooding,
14:30
Speaker 5: and you need a good night's sleep.
14:31
Speaker 2: I'd be more concerned in terms of the snoring. With
14:34
Speaker 2: a snoz like yours and you've had a few beersies.
14:40
Speaker 6: I'll tell you what would be a nice touch is
14:41
Speaker 6: if you've got some ear plugs for everybody else in
14:44
Speaker 6: the house.
14:44
Speaker 4: Yeah, funny you say that, Mike. Okay, next thing on
14:48
Speaker 4: the list ear plugs. I've got a whole jar of
14:50
Speaker 4: them just in case I make a strike up a
14:52
Speaker 4: good relationship with cause of some of the fellows in
14:54
Speaker 4: my room. And I say, fewls, do you want some earplugs?
14:57
Speaker 4: Because I might snore, although with this little honker probably not.
15:00
Speaker 5: You'd barely be able to hear.
15:01
Speaker 3: It if you cleaned your ears since the last.
15:03
Speaker 5: Time, remember what I had really do? We did an
15:09
Speaker 5: hearing test and yeah, that's right, that's funny.
15:12
Speaker 4: Sleepy drops, oh, sleepy drops, because you need your sleep
15:16
Speaker 4: on a staggy.
15:17
Speaker 5: It's very sleep focused.
15:21
Speaker 3: Rock and roll happening here.
15:22
Speaker 4: I've also got a little zip lock bag with sleepy
15:24
Speaker 4: tea in it. But just because they quite often don't
15:26
Speaker 4: have it at the airbnb.
15:27
Speaker 6: They never do.
15:28
Speaker 5: No, they never do.
15:29
Speaker 3: Did your wife pack man?
15:31
Speaker 4: No power bank out? And about you're gonna be doing
15:37
Speaker 4: stuff and your phone might die. Your phone might be
15:39
Speaker 4: playing tunes, you might be doing all sorts of videos.
15:41
Speaker 5: Yes, take a power bank with you and charge it up.
15:44
Speaker 5: In this case, Jase, that could go in a fenny peck.
15:47
Speaker 6: You need to make sure that your phone's charged because
15:49
Speaker 6: you want to be able to trick where your wife's
15:51
Speaker 6: sat while you're away.
15:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was also going to say.
15:56
Speaker 3: I mean, why are you on your phone? You're doing
15:58
Speaker 3: a stag doo.
15:59
Speaker 4: I'm not doing a stack. I'm in part yeah, but
16:01
Speaker 4: like you get your phone out for all sorts, Jase.
16:03
Speaker 4: I mean, you haven't been on Mini so you wouldn't chapstick.
16:08
Speaker 4: It's quite windy the other going down south, it's cold
16:10
Speaker 4: and you don't want wind burn.
16:14
Speaker 5: Not because I'm kissing boys. No, that's not why I
16:17
Speaker 5: need to. Actually, I'll get rid of that moisturizer because
16:22
Speaker 5: you don't want to let you know you've been on
16:24
Speaker 5: the purse. You feel like terrible.
16:25
Speaker 3: About a leader of it. Bat.
16:29
Speaker 5: I'm gonna get rid of that as well.
16:32
Speaker 4: Anti hestamines because I wake up a day after drinking,
16:35
Speaker 4: I get the sneezes.
16:35
Speaker 2: Remember, yeah, what I mean, we have a every second
16:39
Speaker 2: day we remember.
16:41
Speaker 4: I'm gonna take my laptop and a wireless mouse down,
16:47
Speaker 4: just because sometimes you're like, you just want to get away.
16:49
Speaker 4: You've been on the purse with the Feilers. You just
16:51
Speaker 4: want to get away. I've got a few games downloads.
16:55
Speaker 5: I just want to go.
16:56
Speaker 4: Play a game of my own for an hour, but
16:57
Speaker 4: quiet time, then back into the action. Settlers of Katan
17:03
Speaker 4: the board game.
17:06
Speaker 5: You ever played? That goes great? And then lastly, four
17:10
Speaker 5: thousand dollars worth of cocaine. What do you reckon? Fellas?
17:15
Speaker 5: Sounds good? What the Hierarchy?
17:20
Speaker 1: Big Show weekdays from four on radio hadarchy,