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Investigating Grief and Finding Growth with Crystal Crawford · Groove with Portia

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Welcome to Group of Porsche, the podcast that uncovers the hidden treasures within grief.
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I'm your host, Porsche the Producer, and I'm inviting you to join
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me on a transformative journey where we would exchange laughter, of course, the
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best medicine of them all, reflect on cherished memories, Remember that time that
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the little boy grabbed my hand instead of his mother's at the amusement park yikes,
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And of course, discover gratitude while navigating one of life's hardest challenges,
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loss. So get ready to grow with me, Porsche the Producer, let's
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dive in. Welcome back to the Group of Porsche. Everybody. I am
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your host and executive producer, Porsche the Producer. Don't forget to like,
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share and subscribe to keep up with the latest and greatest of all. Grew
0:53
with Porsche. So today I am joined by an individual who offers what I
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call a unique perspective on how grief intersects with legal matters while also bringing a
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compassionate approach to every single case. So welcome Legal Nurse Consultant and founder of
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Crawford Legal Nurse Consulting, Miss Crystal Crawford herself. How are you doing today,
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Crystal, I'm doing great, Porsha, how are you living the dream?
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Crystal? Every day is great? That ends in why and so Christal
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audience, who is tuning in what are you grateful for today? Oh?
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I wake up trying to be grateful for a few things I'm grateful for every
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day. My family, my husband, my dog, and just being able
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to wake up and do what I do and to be able to walk and
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breathe. Grateful for all of that, you know, Crystal, it's always
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those what we call little things. But as we both know, it's the
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little things that help us to find gratitude in the bigger things. Right when
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our business really starts to take off on a global scale, or when somebody
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from a big national company recognizes our business on their platform. So it definitely
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starts with family, having a roof over our head, having a support network,
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right because, as me and you both know, being entrepreneurs, that
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support system is what I call the life jacket of our lifeline to really succeed
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or sink as an entrepreneur and Crystal, before we jump into the conversation for
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our audience who may not be familiar with the term legal nurse consultant, can
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you really describe to us what a legal nurse consulting is and what you do
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to be of service to the world. Okay, yeah, so legal nurse
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consulting, you're right, is not well known. I have over twenty two
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years of nursing background and OBI and n RP, which is Neo NATO Resuscitation
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and NICK you And because of my experience doing that, I can review charts
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for attorneys and they'll ask me to, you know, to point out some
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gaps and care, if any care was standard was below the standard of care,
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and I'll review those cases and come back with the attorney with reports and
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help them move on in their case and either defending healthcare workers or litigating for
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those families who have losses. And thank you so much Christopher shedding light on
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that, because I think again, legal nurse consulting is somewhat of a newer
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term in our I mean because I know when i've or so I'm like a
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legal nurse consultant and had me interested like, oh my god, what does
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she do? How does it work? And so Crystal, now that you
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are a full time entrepreneur, right, you started in the mainstream healthcare system,
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and I think that you kind of still do some contract work there.
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Can you maybe shut some light crystal on the journey, the grief journey right
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that you've experienced transitioning into full time entrepreneurship, because let's be realistic, when
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we think of nurses, we always think of healthcare, hospice maybe in you
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don't really think of a nurse in their own private practice. Can you elaborate
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on the grief journey that you've experienced making that pivot to entrepreneurship. Yeah,
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well, I am still full time at the bedside. This is something that
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I'm journeying into and as maybe a transition more aware from the bedside as I
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moved forward in my entrepreneurship. But there has been elements of grieving and elements
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of sadness that I've had in doing this, because when I started out as
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a nurse, I felt like I was going to be one of those old
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ladies pushing the carts down the hallway serving my patients. But you know,
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at healthcare changes, it evolves, a lot of that change has been really
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good. However, as it's evolved, especially through COVID, I see that
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it's trending towards a concern of how healthcare is going to be heading too.
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So in seeing that, it has caused me to take a pause and realize,
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I don't know if I see myself doing this for the rest of my
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life. I don't know. I can say that I want to retire being
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a full time of bedside nurse. Now. Some of that is because of
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the changes, and some of that is because I have evolved myself. Nursing
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is so taxing, especially if you're a good nurse and you're you're you know,
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you really want to take care of these patients. It can empty your
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tank almost every single day. You are a patient representative, you're a patient
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advocate. We have to be concerned if the patients are happy or their families
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are happy. We have to serve the physicians, we have to serve administration,
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and let's be honest, pizza parties don't cut it right. So,
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you know a lot of people have that that ability to give, give,
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give, give, and that's part of what replenishes their soul. I,
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however, I have to have a balance and moving forward and doing this for
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so long, that balance is a little out of whack. So I need
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to serve myself and you know, consider what would I do better at,
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what would fill me up moving forward in my career, And so that was
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a part of my grief journey is realizing, man, I don't think I
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can do this forever. Christ you brought up a really really good point about
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how nursing in all fields, right, can be so emotionally taxing or not
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just you as the care giver, but also the person who you're taking care
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of as well. And I agree. The pizza parties are you know,
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kind of a little old and redundant, right, And I'm curious, Crystal,
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you know, how how are you able to to innocence cope with the
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grief of these different transitions, right? And also how do you replenish your
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own cup every single day when it's a unique experience you're gonna have per patient
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that you're taken care of, Right. So I find the little joys at
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work, for sure. I still love interacting with my families and with the
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babies I take care of outside of and also interacting with my coworkers of course,
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you know, and you know, I have a fortunate position to be
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with a really great team. So we do lean on each other and crack
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up and crack jokes. But outside of work, when I'm feeling drained,
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I do allow myself to have those feelings. I do recognize, Okay,
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I'm just not at a hundred right now. And sometimes I do tell my
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husband I get home, you know, especially if I work back to back
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shifts for three days in a row, I'll tell him like, I have
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nothing to give tonight. I just need a shower and bedtime. And he's
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so you know, supportive of that and gives me that time. And so
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outside of that, I also focus on my hobbies. I love to get
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outdoors, whether it's take my dog for a walk or kayak or bike.
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My husband and I just got new East scooters and that's so much fun because
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we have a great trail here in Greenville, South Carolina that we can take
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these scooters on and and focus on my hobbies, which you know, I'm
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a d I wire, so I got ten hobbies at a time. So
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getting out of that nurse mentality and doing some self care. Some days it
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might be just watching some trash TV too. Hey, you know what good
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old trash TV, Good old dispure, Random, Roger Rabbit or whatever comedic
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special that's on a marathon. I feel it. I definitely feel it because
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I love how you brought this up, Crystal, because self care is so
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essential for grief. And can you shed light, Crystal on maybe some tips
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or strategies for families who are navigating these complex emotions, dealing with legal cases
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related to your specialty and obviously working with babies, birth injuries and complex neo
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natal care. Right, So, these families that are seeking legal representation for
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their family member, whether it be a baby or a mom that had adverse
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outcomes, they're in a very very unique situation and trying to find out what
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happened and seeing if there can there can be a catalyst for change. Right.
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So that's very very difficult for family to go to because they go through
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because there are traumatized by just the mirror events that happened. And then when
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you find you seek representation and you go through that process and it can be
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a two or three year process for some of these families, they are re
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traumatized. So and then opposite, when nurses are brought into cases like that,
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we're questioned, we're deposed, we are our records are gone through with
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a fine tooth comb, and we have to answer for that. And when
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you're you know, you may have had that baby, or you may have
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had it three difficult days, and then that third day maybe you just didn't
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chart something because you're overwhelmed, and that comes back, and so there's a
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grief process on both sides. So I would suggest if you're a person of
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faith, lean into that. It always helps me. As you know,
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sometimes I'll wake up ten minutes early before my alarm goes off. As frustrating
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as that is, I'm just laying there and I'm kind of like I need
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to take this opportunity to come from a place of gratitude, maybe say a
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little prayer, you know, and to bless my day and bless my hands,
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and and that sets my day off so much better. So those who
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are going through this process that faith can be very very important and so helpful
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and navigating those two three years that you might have and in resolving the case.
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Also, it's my intent is to create joy in my life. I
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don't think joy is something that is passive and it just comes. I think
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it's an intention. I think you have to create joy. There's a lot
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of time in between court hearings and gathering documents, and it's back and forth
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and two steps forward, one step back. And to go through that drudge
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without having joy in your life, it can really wear one down. So
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create that joy in your life, whether it's a vacation or you know,
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family reunions, celebrate birthdays, the small winds. That's important, and find
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purpose in the pain. You have to not let this be in vain so
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and that looks different to anyone. If you're health professional, you can use
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the experience to better yourself at your profession. Learn some modules, teach a
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class, teach your staff. Like you know, you have monthly staff meetings.
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Maybe take twenty minutes of that staff meeting say hey, this is what
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I learned in my experience. If your family, you know, support a
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cause March of Dimes, there's tons of cancer walks. It doesn't have to
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be on a huge congressional level. It can just be local support systems that
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you can help provide other families. You know, write your local representatives.
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Join you know, there is a great website called meetups. You can search
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for a meetup group that shares your experience and there's a lot of healing in
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that. You know, Krystal, what I just loved is how You really
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gave us so many key action steps that a lot of us have been you
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know, heard over our whole life. Number one, finding joy, number
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two, lane in on our faith, because I can tell you if I
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wasn't leaning in on my faith, I don't think we'd be having this conversation
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right now. I'd be still under all my covers, still crying myself a
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river, watching the water just slowly rise up in my bed, and I'm
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just floating, you know, and outer space type of thing. You realize
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you're floating, Yeah, yeah, and then converting yeah, one hundred hundred
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percent, and then converting your pain the purpose. I know we've all heard
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that at some point in our journey when a tragedy happens, right, But
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we're so engulfed by the emotional turmoil that it's hard for us to really see
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what I call the hidden gift in the grief. M Christopher, our audience,
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for our audience who is tuning in before we jump into the next part
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of the conversation, if they want to connect with you and learn more about
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your work. Is there a website or social media handle you can share with
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us today? Absolutely, I'm on LinkedIn at Crawford Legal Nurse Consulting and you
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can reach me there or on my website www dot Crawford Legal Nurse Consulting dot
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com. Excellent. So for our audience, you can definitely connect with Crystal
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and you know, learn more about what she does as a legal nurse consultant
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and really get an idea of how this is so needed. Right. I
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think that's the unique part of this entrepreneurial wave that we're going through, is
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how there's different individuals like yourself, Crystal, who have taken their skills,
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their passion for being a nurse, working with children and that and kind of
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pivoting that right, And Crystal, what did it take for you to really
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see the opportunity, right, Because I think sometimes we're so focused on one
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part of our skill set and our journey that we're not always able to see
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the big picture. Like I know, for me, being a former TV
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producer, I thought that's what I was always going to do, was level
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up the corporate ladder until one day when I got the opportunity to create my
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own show, grew a Porsche. Then I started to see, oh I
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do not only just host my own show, I can help other people to
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create their own shows and host them in that whole thing. So what would
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you say, Crystal, was that open door for you to see the opportunity
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through the obstacle. Yeah, so you know, no one knows a chart
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like a nurse. We are investigators without even knowing we're investigators. And I
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mean, you gonna sketchy patient, We're gonna find out what's going on.
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We're gonna get to the bottom of it, and you know, it's interesting.
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So the idea came from my best friend who is a paralegal and she
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worked with initially a defender, a public defender, and then went into a
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firm that did medical malpractice and so she was seeing these nurses, you know,
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look over cases. And this is my best friend from childhood. And
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she called me, She's like, you gotta do this. You're gonna do
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this is you know, come on, like you need to do this.
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And so that was years ago, probably ten years ago. She was telling
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me about this, and so it was a little seed that over time I
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started getting used to the idea and then also realizing I was I wasn't getting
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I don't like to say I was getting burnt out at the bedside. I
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don't feel burnout. I feel like I've maybe outgrown it, so as I've
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out grown nursing bedside nursing, I have over time just repeatedly gone back to
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this idea. And then I started taking a small like you know, professional
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course, you know, a certificate course. And then I started looking more
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into national organizations, and then I got their professional course, and then I
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applied for my LLC, and I'm doing the thing. I love. Crystal
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High. You really highlighted that point of being of outgrowing something, right.
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I think we all reached that at some point in our career endeavors, right,
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I could say for me, when I was a television producer, I
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think I mastered the job in two weeks, I think. And it just
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for me because it's very hands on. When you're a producer, obviously you're
19:57
sacking the rundown. You're pulling whatever stories from the wires that are gonna be
20:03
depending on what shift you work, whether you're a day side, night side,
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midday, whatever, you're pulling stuff from the wires. Sometimes it's just
20:11
stuff that broke overnight or whatever, and you're just putting into the rundown,
20:15
stacking it for whatever newscasts you work, and then while the newscast is running,
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you know, depending on if you're in the actual studio, you're running
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a teleprompter, adding in graphics, queuing the anchors for whatever their next segment
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is. So I mastered it in such a quick time, but it just
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felt that there was more. I knew there was more, but I couldn't
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put my finger on what more meant. Like, I found joy and satisfaction
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in it, but I'm like, but there's more. My joy cup is
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not being filled all the way. There's just a little drop or two that's
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being added in here. But I know that there's more than I want to
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do, more than I want to explore. So I can relate to that
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outgrowing feeling. And so Crystopher, all audience who are tuning in right,
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if they're in that boat of they love what they do, but they feel
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that they've hit a peak. What tip can you leave with them to take
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that outgrowing like that they're stuck and converted into an opportunity for them, right,
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Yeah, And I've experienced that a lot, and and you know,
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I see I've seen in the past coworkers who just do it because that they
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feel it's their only option. They've already done it for so long. It's
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what they know. They that's it. It's not a great place to be.
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I feel that once you're comfortable, or I think that comfort least to
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complacency and that's where is well, that's where the danger can lie with us
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nurses at the bedside, and then it leads into you know, mistakes,
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and I don't ever want to be complacent. Unfortunately, change requires you to
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be uncomfortable, and when you're uncomfortable, it's probably the right thing. I'm
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so uncomfortable. I mean, I'm working on three cases right now and I'm
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uncomfortable with it. But that discomfort is leading me to be better and better,
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you know. I'm I'm paying so much attention to detail. I'm making
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sure I'm clear and concise, and I hope I'm never comfortable because that is
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going to make me successful. Crystal, I love that. I mean that,
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my drop on that, embracing the disc comfort with a comfortable hug,
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because that's what I love about what I do now being a podcast producer.
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Each one of the talented hosts that I get to work with have a unique
23:12
delivery for their show, right, each and every one of them has their
23:17
unique way of hosting, whether you know they just have a solo podcast or
23:22
its interview style, and I'm challenged as well, like if I take on
23:26
a new podcast or who wants more than just the traditional intro outro, body
23:34
conversation edited, Like I recently had the opportunity to work with a new podcast
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that had multiple elements, one that really pushed my skills beyond what I've really
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done before, and I'm like, wow, this is like and I agree.
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I was like ready to pull every single strand of my hair out because
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the software wasn't working right. It wasn't doing It's like some times the vision
24:00
in your head doesn't always come through on the computer right. And I'm still
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just like, I'm grateful that it all worked out, one hundred percent gratitude,
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even though in the midst of it, I'm just like, oh my
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god, I just want to quit. Can I just go and hide under
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a rock like Patrick from SpongeBob type of thing? But I made it work
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and I feel so much better. Like you, you know, when you
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really push yourself through that discomfort, it's almost like you've added a new level
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of muscle to your every day and I think that's the beauty of grief,
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right. Grief is a wave of discomfort of all the emotions. But I
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think, like what you mentioned, Crystal, when we embrace our grief instead
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of evading it and use it to our advantage, we'll get to see that
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it it's not all as bad as what society depicts it. M hmm,
25:07
yeah. I think grief is depicted as something that is a negative, and
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of course it hurts, it's painful. You know, I've I've gone through
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devastating grief processes with families and in my personal life. It's it's awful,
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it's awful. But look here we are. We're survivors of grief, and
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I have chosen and it is a choice. I believe that it makes me
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a better person, makes me a better nurse, makes me a better legal
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nurse consultant, makes me a better wife. Grief is something that should be
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embraced and not feared. You know what, audience clapped from me because you
25:55
literally said my favorite phrase of all time, embracing grief instead of evading it.
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And that's why I talk about grief, my grief journey so openly on
26:06
grew with portion because I want other people to not feel ashamed of what they're
26:11
going through, because, let's be honest, grief can be isolating because we
26:15
all sure, you know, there's this fear of being a burden, there's
26:19
this you know, shame of it, my continuing I should be over this
26:25
by now. But as we both know, grief has a unique timeline m
26:30
for each person, for each person, right. And it's interesting because when
26:40
you have already grieved and you're you're further along in that process, it's hard
26:45
to relate to those who are still in that process. I think there should
26:51
always be progress and grief. I think there are times and I know people
26:56
who are still are stagnant in it, and then they find that comfort in
27:02
grief and that's where they want to live because they don't want to be uncomfortable.
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It's similar to those you know, people who don't want to advance their
27:15
career or don't want to get uncomfortable to better themselves. It's the fear of
27:23
having that discomfort. So it's important to have grace with those. It's also
27:32
important to, you know, if you're in a position of influence, to
27:36
push them a little bit, to say, hey, like it's okay to
27:40
move on. It's okay to say this isn't for me anymore. I love
27:47
that. I mean, just giving ourselves permission to say it's okay to not
27:52
be okay right now. But we don't have to stay there right right.
27:59
I think grief it's such a beautiful journey if we're open to seeing it and
28:04
recognizing that it changes over time, that we might have those moments you know,
28:10
we're crying and literally the I always joke about this, like sometimes when
28:15
I get the ugly cries, like when I was a little kid, where
28:18
like literally this SnO is so thick, I can tell my own car type
28:21
of thing. But I feel so much better. Yeah, And I think
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we just need to adopt a reframed mindset when it comes to grief in our
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world, because grief is a part of all of our journey. Grief is
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a part of all of our story, So why not learn to embrace it
28:41
instead of evade it? Absolutely. And it's interesting because when I lost my
28:48
dad, it will be eleven years ago, and I was Daddy's a little
28:53
girl, and my husband and I got married last year, and I did
28:59
not realized that I was going to go through another grieving process and planning my
29:04
wedding. He wasn't going to be there to walk me down the aisle,
29:07
and wow, it came back with a vengeance. And thankfully my husband's very
29:15
supportive and my family was supportive, and you know, I made it through
29:21
the day. I know, I was blessed and it was it was interesting
29:26
to have that grief change again ten years later, but I was I was
29:34
happy that it did. And grads on the wedding crystal, I you know,
29:41
I'm sure your day was beautiful. I mean, you're in the Carolina,
29:45
so you've got the time, you got the beach whatever. However,
29:51
and we had a tornado, but thankfully everybody was fine. We did have
29:56
a tornado warning during our wedding, so as long as nobody you saw them
30:02
in the cyclone like a grass crystal the worldway, no. I think my
30:07
wedding planner was really scared to tell me she would have to move everything indoors,
30:14
and at this point I was just like, I just have everybody makes
30:17
it safely and it was beautiful. It was it was the perfect day.
30:22
I'm glad to hear that. I mean, and even I mean, that'd
30:25
be unique, like a tornado on my wedding day. I wonder what that
30:27
means, right, Like how they say ran on your wedding day is a
30:30
good thing. I don't know about a tornado. I think our marriage is
30:33
gonna be pretty epic, pretty solid, pretty you know. I guess you
30:41
can say infinitely strong, because if you made it through that chaos, then
30:45
you can get you absolutely, absolutely well, Crystal. I definitely want to
30:56
thank you again from buying my heart for coming on and Will Porsche. You
31:00
have shared with us so many words of wisdom and inspiration, and I truly
31:07
thank you again from the bottom my heart. You've given us the opportunity to
31:10
reconnect with our faith when it appears that grief and life are nailing us to
31:17
our own cross, to really lean into that faith in order to really be
31:22
able to become victorious. Number two, leaning into our hobbies and passions because
31:27
that will help us to not only continue through the tough times, but also
31:33
give us an outlet of finding joy and peace. And number three, converting
31:38
our pain to purpose. Right, grief is a journey for each and every
31:44
one of us, and I'm a firm believer that there's a hidden gift within
31:48
our grief journey. To make us better people and to be able to show
31:52
up and use our story not for just us, but to help others to
31:59
stop their goals, dreams and aspirations from making the cemetery wealthier. Crystal,
32:06
for our audience, can you again share your social media and website where they
32:09
can connect with you and learn more about your work. You can reach me
32:14
on LinkedIn at Prowford Legal Nursing Consulting dot com or www dot Crawford Legal Nursing
32:22
Consulting dot com. Excellent, Crystal, thank you so much for sharing that
32:25
again. Well, everybody that was our legal nurse consultant, Miss Crystal Crawford
32:34
your herself that you heard from. And that concludes another episode. It Grew
32:37
a Porsche Season number two. Thanks for listening and peace and hair grease.
32:43
Everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in to Grew with Porsche. Remember
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to subscribe to my channel for the latest episodes, and of course follow me
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on social media. Can follow me on Instagram at Porsche the Producer Anyway,
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guys, and till we meet again, Peace and hair grease.