Latest / Radio Baloney - The Richie Baloney Show! / Woman Is In Love With A Tree
Transcript
- 0:02Here's the headline, forty five year old female sex educator who identifies as eco
- 0:09sexual in love with oak tree in Vancouver. So I guess she's into the
- 0:15strong, silent type. The good news is he never interrupts her. The
- 0:19bad news is his roommates are a family of squirrels. So what's this here?
- 0:23It says it's impossible to ignore desires entirely, so maybe the real answer
- 0:29is to become conscious consumers of them. So conscious consumers, Well, it
- 0:35is true that when you're sticking a branch up your ass, you want to
- 0:37be present in the moment. So let's see, a woman who identifies as
- 0:42ecosexual claims she's in love with an oak tree that fills her with erotic energy,
- 0:47and she might want to have that checked out. Could be lyme disease.
- 0:50Let's see, according to here come the ecosexuals, and ecosexual is a
- 0:55person who finds nature romantic, sensual, and sexy, and and envisions Earth
- 1:00as their lover. And there's absolutely nothing utterly narcissistic about that whatsoever. So
- 1:07this person is a semantic sex educator in training. Well, I'm pretty sure
- 1:12what she's doing ain't in the textbook. She says, The presence I feel
- 1:17with the tree is what I'm looking for, But that's a fantasy with the
- 1:19person. I had been craving that rush of erotic energy that comes when you
- 1:25meet a new partner, and that is not sustainable unless they don't have a
- 1:30central nervous system. Let's take a look at the video. It started back
- 1:34in that heinous here that none of us like to remember, twenty twenty.
- 1:37It was in that year that I moved from Mexico to Canada with my family,
- 1:41and being neither Mexican nor Canadian, I had been lonely for a long
- 1:45time, lonely despite being married. So you cheated on him with a tree.
- 1:51It was probably like a whatever. Last week it was that mechanical pony
- 1:53ride in front of the Walmart. In this time, I developed several coping
- 1:57mechanisms, and among the healthier of them was taking daily walks on this marsh
- 2:01swamp that is near my house. Now, normally, when you meet a
- 2:06man in a swamp, he's a serial killer. Unless he's a tree,
- 2:10then I think you're pretty much okay. But I don't blame her for taking
- 2:14the walks. I mean, the holidays were very, very stressful for her.
- 2:17Turns out, the Christmas tree was her ex awkward possible. I believed
- 2:23I could tap into that erotic life force somehow somewhere, and around the time
- 2:28of this epiphany, I began to notice that about the halfway point in my
- 2:30walk, I would pass a grove of oak trees, and one particular tree
- 2:35in that grove called to me. So I began to stop daily at this
- 2:38particular oak tree, and I began to lean against it, began to hold
- 2:43it and feel held by it. And I noticed that I was experiencing erotic
- 2:47attraction. So that's how she got all those splinters in her ass. Now,
- 2:52this is different from attraction that you experienced with another person. This is
- 2:55not about me drawing myself outward. Look at me, look at me,
- 2:58look at me. Oh yeah, this has got nothing to do with you
- 3:00wanting attention. It Instead, it felt like I was getting a download of
- 3:07erotic life force directly from the source. It never failed me. It was
- 3:12never too needy, it was never too distant. It always welcomed me,
- 3:16and it filled me up in the way that no other human relationship has ever
- 3:22done. So something tells me this is a person who really enjoys the talking
- 3:25part, doesn't enjoy the listening part so much. And you know what,
- 3:30I bet that Oak Tree could probably use a little bit of personal space by
- 3:35now. But you know, on the bright side, she's not making them
- 3:38go through couples counseling. Yet. Let's clear up some misconception, shall we.
- 3:44The first thing I want to say is that a sexual relationship an erotic
- 3:46relationship. It can happen in a way that is far more creative than most
- 3:51of y'all are giving it credit. If your only relationship to understand and your
- 3:54sexual power, your erotic energy is through what you might call pa, you're
- 4:00missing out on a lot of life and a lot of pleasure. Oh and
- 4:04if you don't know what that term means, go ahead and look that up.
- 4:06Yeah, we know what it means. But if I'm to get this
- 4:11straight, this Tree has been listening to all of your narcissistic ramblings all this
- 4:16time and you haven't even been putting out Man, that is cold. We
- 4:23talk about blue I guess acorns. But just to finish this off, apparently
- 4:30she also said that there was an eroticism with something so big and so old
- 4:34holding my back. Wait a second, are you sure that wasn't Hulkogin anyway?
- 4:40That's all I gotta say about that. Please subscribe, like and share.
- 4:44Sharing really helps me out. I thank you for that. I will
- 4:46see you next time.