Latest / The Rochelle Christiane Podcast / 216. Harnessing Mars: Understanding Your Reactive Patterns and Rewiring Emotional Tiggers

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216. Harnessing Mars: Understanding Your Reactive Patterns and Rewiring Emotional Tiggers · The Rochelle Christiane Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Emotional Mastery Podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I am your host, rochelle.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I'm a holistic human design health coach and this is a space for human design and spiritual journey.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: It's not about being a master of your emotions, rather mastering the tools to self-regulate, to awakening yourself and remembering who you are.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Human design changed my life about five years ago and I've been learning and teaching the system ever since.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: This podcast is human design meets spirituality, meets astrology.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: You don't have to have a belief system to be here, just an open mind and curiosity.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: This is a journey of meeting yourself and awakening to your infinite potential.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Now let the magic begin.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of the podcast.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: I was literally just having a complete breakdown in my bathroom and I was coming to record this today anyway, but after I was just thinking you know what's the point of having a voice and having a platform if I'm not going to share the harder moments?
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Because we all go through them and we can let the narrative take over.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: We can let our emotions take over, we can move through them and we can know that they're bullshit.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Stories we've picked up from childhood, from past situations, and the thing with our thoughts are what we believe we will always find evidence for.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: So if you believe that you're worthless, you will always find evidence of that.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: You will call people in that make that story true for you.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: But it doesn't have to be your narrative, it doesn't have to be your truth.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: And life's hard.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: It's as hard as we make it, but it's hard.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: And I was literally just cleaning my house.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: And the reason I kind of tie these two together is because today I was going to talk about Mars and I have Mars and Capricorn in my sixth house.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: And so Capricorn is resilient, it perseveres, right, the seagoat, it uses pain to push it forward, to move it forward.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Mars is a fire sign, right, mars is a fire planet.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: It is action, assertion, it's the warrior.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: So Mars really likes to be in Capricorn.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: And sixth house is health, daily routines, work, and I always have this little mental breakdown when I'm cleaning, because I think that our space reflects what's happening inside and sometimes I let my house get less than ideal.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: And it can be really frustrating when I'm cleaning it up and I want to throw my arms up and be like fuck it, I'm done.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: I'm done for today, right, but it doesn't solve anything.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: And I think that in those moments of frustration.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: All of the looping stories go through my mind and there's a lot of pain inside of that and you know I do a lot of the work and with the work means facing what comes up, it means facing your shadows, it means facing your core wounds and as I was cleaning and crying and observing you know the narratives because things that I have going on certain situations and how, when we get into those moments, it's really easy to play the victim I actually got angry.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: It started this morning.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I got angry this morning because I owed money to it was like a bill, and I like got angry that they asked me for it almost, and I sort of went into this like victim thing and then I had to like reframe that and be like Rochelle, you owe people money, like how are you gonna get mad about it?
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: And so it was like the bigger picture and that sort of like started, kind of like started all of the frustrations for me and then it ended up.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: After all.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: The looping thoughts came back to this one thought.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: I was just looking around my room and I was thinking about all of the relationships that I've, romantic relationships I've called in, and I realized I tend to.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I was actually this is a side note and I'll go back to my thought I was listening to a podcast and I always, you know, with attachment styles, I am fearful, avoidant, disorganized attachment, and they also call it.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: So you kind of go between anxious and avoidant.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: But I was listening to a podcast, and I can't remember which podcast it was, but they were describing the difference between anxious and avoidant and I actually would have thought I was more anxious, but then I realized I'm actually more avoidant and it's in these moments when we get triggered which we'll sort of get into, you know, with Mars, because Mars is sort of the energy that it's like our expression of our emotions, right, and I realized that when I get triggered and I get in these places, I isolate, I don't want to share with people, I find it really hard to like reach out and ask for help.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: In the moment, I guess I don't want to seem vulnerable, I don't want to seem weak, which you know we all struggle, current situations, and I realized that I continue to call in men who are not ready to be with me, who don't want to show up, who you know, all of these things that I perceive to be that way, because there's a part of me that actually doesn't feel worthy to have a man step into my life and sort of not take over but just be in it, right, I think it's a lot, um, you know, especially as a single mom, it is a lot to have somebody come step into that, and I think there is a level of feeling unworthy in there that I'm working through because I know it's bullshit.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: But yeah, like I said, I was going to come record this anyway today, but I was kind of having a moment and I again I just thought you know, what's the point of having this platform and using my voice if I'm not sharing the hard moments as well as the process and the journey to get past them?
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: So what I do now is normally I have observed all these negative things.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I think our first instinct is to shut it down.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: I can't think like that.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Why would I think that of myself and all those voices that come in and make yourself feel bad for even having these thoughts?
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: But I think the first thing is to witness it.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I like to journal, be like this is how I felt, this is what came up, and then reframe it Like okay.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: So as many evident pieces of evidence that I have?
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: If I want to believe that I am not worthy to have somebody come step into my life and support me, how many pieces of evidence do I have that I am worthy to have somebody come and step into my life?
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: You know, like my kids are amazing.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: You know my kids are incredible.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: They're funny, they're witty, they're sensitive, they're sweet, they're generous, they're kind.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: They have such good hearts.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: And you know, when it comes to me, like I have so much to give.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: I'm so creative, I'm I am so dedicated, I'm so loyal.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I, you know, love to travel, I love to give, as you know what I can.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of really good qualities.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: So it's sort of this you know, it's like writing that list of things that we don't.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: You know the cons list and writing the pros list.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: And then you know it's also one thing that I did a while ago that I felt really helpful, because I think we're always making lists for our partners of, like, what we want to call in, what characteristics, what qualities, but yet we don't really make a list for ourselves, right, it's like, what am I showing up as?
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: What do I have to give?
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: And then, once you make that list of like oh, I have all of this to give somebody.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: And then also like reframing, I think sometimes when we're dating or when we meet somebody, it's always like do they like me?
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Do they like me and I want to make them like me, or I want all these things and it's like, no, but do I like them Right?
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: And so it's really important, I think, in those moments, yes, to witness the negative looping thoughts, the negative narrative, because then we can create awareness around it.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: And you know, I've been doing this work for seven, eight years and just you know, all that time later that just clicked for me today that that was one of my core wounds and I knew you know I've identified more my core wounds over the years, but that specific one hadn't come up in that way before.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: So now, with awareness, I can move through that and be like, okay, cool, like I see that now.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's painful and yes, in the past I have, because that has been my frequency right, because that has been the subconscious loop that's been going on in my mind.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: I have called people in that have proven me or have shown to me that that was true.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Like I said, whatever you see, whatever, if you think you're right or you're wrong, either way you're right.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: You know, like my son, this morning he was in a bad mood, and I say this a lot with my kids, but whenever they're like, well, I can't do it, and I'm like, well, if you don't think that you can, then no, you can't, but if you think that you can, then you can.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: So why don't we reframe it?
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: And so this morning he was in a bad mood and he was like, I have a math test today and I'm going to fail it.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: And then he turned around to fail it, but like, even in that little moment, right, he had the awareness of that piece of it that he's choosing to think that he's going to fail it, he's choosing to fail that test.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: And yes, between the time he woke up this morning and the time he takes the test, he can change his narrative, he can choose.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: But it's really important to identify that narrative and I think that's why, in moments like these, having those tools, you know, and so I let myself move through it, I let myself cry.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: I used to not let myself cry, but now I'm just like I cry.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: And I see, I observe, I watched all the thoughts that my mind is latching onto, I reframe it and I tell myself, like okay, I know that this is how my subconscious feels right now, but I also call bullshit on it.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I list out the opposite.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: So if my thought process is I am unworthy to have somebody step into my life, no, I am so worthy to have somebody step into my life, like somebody would be lucky to come into my life and the beautiful life we could build together.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: And then I did a DI this morning, but I will probably sit with it journal on it, do a meditation, some sort of reprogramming work when you're in that theta brainwave state.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I've been doing rituals from oh my gosh, I forgot what it's called Vital Alchemist, I think is what her name is.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I'll link it in the show notes.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: But I've been doing rituals from her and it's been so empowering and so beautiful, just like facing your shadows and like kind of creating a space and really getting into that and dropping in and then just like reinforcing it.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: So if you do affirmations, you know it's really great to like record them on your phone and then you could just like listen to them, but just like listening to things that are inspiring, listening to things that lift you up, finding expanders, like people who maybe were in the same spot as you that now have overcome that, you know.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: And that's why I love podcasts, because they love that people are so vulnerable and then they share their stories and then you can connect with one of them and be like, oh my gosh, like that is me, like that's where I am and it's seeing to believe.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Right, it's like the what is it?
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: The I can't remember what.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: The time, like the four minute mile or something like that.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: One minute, I can't remember how quickly the person.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Seven minute mile, I don't know what it was.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Anyway, whoever was trying to run, like the fastest mile, yeah, or beat the record, it was like nobody said that they could do it, and then once one person did it, so many other people behind him did it, and so it is that seeing to believe.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Once you see somebody who has accomplished it, you know, then it rewires you to know that you can do it.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: So that's sort of the process that I move through when I'm in that place.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: But I think that it's important to let yourself feel it, because as you feel it and witness the thoughts and this is something I'm trying to teach my daughter now that your emotions and your thoughts don't have to become your reality and just to really pay attention to what you're thinking and then to be able to reframe them.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, that's my little moment this morning and I tie that in the Mars and Capricorn because I think that you know that sixth house is naturally ruled by Virgo.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: You know which is judgmental, analytical, critical.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: You know health, daily routines, and I think that it's in those moments that really trigger me.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: A lot is like when my thing isn't, stuff isn't organized, or when I have no structure, like those things just are challenging for me, and when I'm in those moments I feel like that can really my expression of that right is isolation, right Like because Mars and Capricorn, capricorn perseveres, but Capricorn is not going to sit there and cry about it or show everybody that they're crying about it.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: They're just going to be like, okay, fuck you, I'm going to use this and I'm going to prove you wrong.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: That's sort of like that Capricorn energy, right, and so Mars and Capricorn.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Expressing it in that way, I just really really is true for me.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: So so, yeah, we're going to talk about triggers today, reactive patterns, and then, you know, healing and moving through them and I think you know I'll go back through that process at the end.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: But exploring your Mars and how that, you know, plays a role in your emotional responses when you're feeling triggered.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Because, like I said, mars is the planet of action, aggression, desire, impulse, and it really holds the energy for how you react to challenging situations, whether it's conflict, frustration, fear.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: So understanding your Mars is a really powerful way to create awareness of your patterns and then begin to rewrite them, you know, for healthier emotional regulation.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: So, okay, so we'll start with just like Mars in astrology, right?
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Just let's start looking at what your Mars sign represents.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: And so Mars, like I just said, is that planet of desire, drive, action, assertion.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: It's the warrior planet.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: It naturally rules Aries.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: It's the energy that you tap into when you're asserting yourself, when you're going after what you want, right, when you're responding to conflict.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: It can be the immature expression too, and it also can reveal where your anger flares up.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: So, like I just said, like me cleaning my house, mars and Capricorn in the sixth house that's like makes me furious, right.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: And so that's where my anger like really started to build up.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: It's where you can act impulsively and where your deepest triggers can be found.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: So you know, we talked about our moon sign, we talked about our sun sign and your moon shows like your emotional core, your like essence of how you feel about yourself, right, your moon is like how you act when those emotions are activated.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: So we feel something through our moon.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: And Mars is how we're expressing that right.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: It's sort of like it, there's like a path, I guess, through the planets, of how we're expressing that right.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: It's sort of like there's like a path, I guess, through the planets, of how we move through things and express things.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: This is why it's holistic.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Everything works together, right, but Mars is that fiery energy that pushes you into action or reaction.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: So a few examples Mars and Aries, which Mars naturally rules Aries, so Mars and Aries can react really impulsively and aggressively when they're frustrated.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: Right, mars and Taurus.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: Taurus is an earth sign, so it's a little bit more grounded.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: So Mars and Taurus, and it's stubborn.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Taurus is so stubborn, so Mars and Taurus might hold on to anger and frustration and just let it simmer until it explodes.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Right, mars and Cancer, which is where Mars is in currently.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Mars and Cancer can retreat emotionally or act really passive-aggressive, because Cancer rules the moon, cancer rules the fourth house.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: This is our inner world, this is the way we experience ourselves.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: It's our home, right?
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: So even maybe having aggression in your home, maybe in like childhood, things like that can also be coming up.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: But understanding your Mars really gives you insight into your instinctual reactions, sort of like that go to the way that you react.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: It's really how you deal with conflict and difficult emotions.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: And if you haven't checked out your Mars sign, so if you're, if you're very familiar, then you know.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: If you're just listening to this and you're curious, like I don't know what my Mars sign is, you can go to astrocom and pull your chart and Mars looks like the little circle with a little arrow pointing up and that's Mars.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: And Mars is, you know, it's the masculine energy in the zodiac, whereas Venus is the feminine energy, and we'll get into Venus in the next episode or two.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: So, okay, what are emotional triggers and why do they really matter?
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: So we all experience triggers, whether it's somebody looked at us funny, somebody said something, a certain tone, a situation that reminds us of something from the past, and I've talked about it so many times.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: But there's an episode with Ken Close, and I'll link that below.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: But one thing that he said was that by the age of 30, you'll have gone through every emotional experience that you will have experienced, and so, after that, every emotional experience you have is tied to something from the past, right, and so it sets off an emotional reaction based on a past experience.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: So they can really feel overwhelming, especially when we don't really understand where they're coming from.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Like I had a moment once and my body reacted so strongly it wasn't even my mind, it was like a physical.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Like you know, the body keeps the score, like your body holds memory, and I had such a strong reaction to this thing that I didn't understand why, because I wasn't expecting it just came about right.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: And so when we're having those emotional reactions, it 100% feels so, so overwhelming.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: If we don't understand it, if we're not doing the work right to understand it.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: They're, you know, like I said, they're tied to like past wounds, fears, unresolved trauma, and it's like scars, right, that just they're not fully healed and then when something picks at it, it just starts bleeding again.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: So you know, going back to those core wounds that you may have, like identifying what that core wound is, but like if you felt abandoned as a child.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Any hint of abandonment in your adult life, such as like your partner pulling away or maybe some sort of rejection or whatever it is right, it can really ignite like that powerful emotional response.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: Mars energy really gets activated when we're triggered and that's why we're talking about this, right, it pushes us into action, but not always productive, because Mars can be that immature expression of so noticing how you react right?
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Are you lashing out?
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Do you retreat?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: This is where attachment styles Are you anxious?
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Are you dismissive?
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Are you safe?
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: Are you secure?
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Rather, are you disorganized, right?
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Do you sabotage relationships when you feel hurt or threatened?
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I've noticed I do this a lot because I pull back and I just want to be like I'm done.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I'm done, leave me alone, like I'm not going to put myself on you, or like whatever, where it's really self-sabotage.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: And of course, all these patterns are subconscious, right?
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: But once we begin to have awareness and once we begin to understand them, we can really start to change the way that we are responding and reacting.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: And so you know that mind-body connection, right?
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: So before you can change how you react to triggers, you need to recognize when you're being triggered, right?
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: And so one of the most powerful ways to do this is by tuning into your body.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: This is really getting in tune with your body, really understanding your body's responses.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Emotional triggers don't just exist in the mind, right.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: They manifest through the body, through tension.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Your heart races, you're sweating that fight or flight, feeling right.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: So, really, again, being aware of it, journaling on it.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: What does it feel like, what does it look like?
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: What part of your body, what was the trigger?
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: Really exploring it and getting curious, right.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: So the next time that you're feeling emotionally activated, really notice what's happening in your body.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: So, are your shoulders tensing up?
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Is your stomach upset?
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Is your breathing like really heavy, right, like these are signs that Mars is kicking in and that trigger is being activated.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: So by tuning into that, you can create awareness.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: We can take the pause, we can breathe, and the awareness is always the first step from breaking free from the automatic reactive patterns that are not serving you.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I was listening to To Be Magnetic this morning and that was something that they were saying.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: It's like, whatever your go-to response is, if you can just take a beat, if you can take a pause, you're disrupting the pattern and you're able to choose something different, like even if one of the examples was like this person's go-to was to call all of their friends and try and get an external validation or have somebody outside of them make a decision, and they still called all of their friends in that moment, but then they came back afterwards and they journaled and they centered themselves and they reset themselves.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: And then they came back afterwards and they journaled and they centered themselves and they reset themselves and then they were able to make the best decision for them based on their knowing.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: So, yes, they went and did their go-to reaction, but then they still had to pause the moment to come back to themselves and empower themselves and choose something new, breaking that pattern.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Right, and that's the key.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: So it's like, when we're in these activated moments, can you find a way to stop and pause and do something different?
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: Right, like I know for me.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: I know, like a lot of times when I get really activated, I don't lash out, I hold it inside, I push people away and I hold it inside and I'll go and I'll cry, and then I type, I put it in a little box and I put it away, right, so, by coming here even and sharing it, because I'm not just sharing it with one person when I'm putting on this podcast like this is uncomfortable for me.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: But it was also doing something different, right, and there's somebody in my life that I'm probably gonna call after this or maybe see later and share a little bit of what I was going through and I don't want to those things don't feel good to share it with people.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: But it's doing something different and instead of self-isolating and pushing people away, I can reach out and actually ask for help and know that it doesn't make me weak.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: And another tool that I heard I cannot remember which podcast I heard this on.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Might have been Almost 30.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: But another tool that I heard was that if you write down on a piece of paper what you think the reaction of the person is going to be Actually, it might have been a Substack thing that I heard on.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Anyway, I've taken so much information sometimes it's really hard to cite things, but one thing that they had said is if you write down on a piece of paper what you think the reaction is going to be of the person, and then you do the thing.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: So if you're afraid to tell somebody something because your subconscious belief is like oh, people are just going to leave me or I'm not worthy or whatever right.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: So write down what you think they're going to do.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: You think they're going to get mad at you.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: You think they're going to hang up the phone.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: You think that they're going to ignore you or minimize what you're going through or tell you you're fine or whatever right.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: You go back and read that paper and then you write what actually happened and it's like nine times out of 10, it's not the same thing, right?
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: So that is a really great way to start reprogramming those beliefs as well.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: So a really great tool.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: And everybody talks about it and I think that on this podcast, whenever I ask people what has helped them, breath work is always one of the biggest things that people talk about.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: But it's like in that moment when you're feeling triggered, can you take a pause and breathe, right, so you can do that four, seven, eight breath.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: You can do the box breathing.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: There's so many different types of breath work that you can do.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: But if we can pause, take that pause, break that pattern and just breathe Three deep breaths in, it doesn't even have to be like a specific breath work technique, but four, seven, eight is really great.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: I use this one a lot.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: So you breathe in for four, you hold for seven and you breathe out for eight.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Right, and do this three times when you're feeling triggered.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: It really will help.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: Your shoulders will relax, you'll be able to realign and come into your own body, because really all it takes is to take that pause.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I had a moment at work the other day where I was so triggered and I was getting upset with myself because of how triggered I was by somebody, even though I know that people who project onto you.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: It's not.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: It had nothing to do with me, but the way that this person was speaking to me was flaring up my past trauma and I had to really just be like I'm going to.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: I had to step away and I had to go and sort of talk to myself and take a few deep breaths and be like Rochelle, this is not about you Like we can approach this with a calm, compassionate and caring attitude, and if it doesn't work, then it's not on me either.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I don't have to manage the emotions of this other person that I don't even know, and so sometimes it does take that pause and coming back, and in doing that, I was able to rewrite that narrative.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I was able to break the pattern of what I would normally react with, right, and so that's a really great way to just like pause and breathe.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: Another one is you can do a visualization.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: So, if you want to bring in astrology, we can do a little visualization technique so you can close your eyes and visualize a situation that typically triggers you.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: So this is sort of like we're not doing this in the moment.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: We're doing this now, right, like close your eyes and visualize a situation that typically triggers you, right, and then you can imagine this Mars energy coming up.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: So later I'm going to kind of outline um Mars in each sign.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: So, whether you're feeling anger, whether you're feeling frustration, defensiveness, isolation, whatever it is right, allow yourself to feel that energy without judgment.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Now, after you feel that, visualize how you'd like to respond in the situation.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: So, for example, we're going to go back to that Mars in Aries.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: If you're Mars in Aries, just imagine channeling that fiery energy into direct but calm communication, right.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: If you're Mars and Aries, just imagine channeling that fiery energy into direct but calm communication, right.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: If you're Mars and Taurus, visualize yourself releasing tension and responding with patience, right.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: These are qualities, these are the higher expressions of these signs in these planets.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: So you can practice this visualization regularly to rewire how you respond in real life.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: Because the thing is, your mind, when're visualizing something, doesn't know the difference between your visualization and reality.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: So the more that we put ourselves into that situation, the more second nature that new response is going to be.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: It's not a one and done, right, but if you can take a minute every day and just visualize the new way that you want to respond to something and make that second nature, make that a go-to in your mind, then the next time you're triggered and in that moment you can then come into the higher expression of that Mars, in whatever sign it is right.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: This really allows you again to rehearse like a new and safe response in a controlled way, when you're safe and when you're not in a trigger, so that again, once we repeat this enough times and when we're in a trigger, it can be it'll be easier for us to tap into that as opposed to our go-to response right, journaling.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: I always, always, always, recommend journaling.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Writing can be really, really powerful to process your emotions, to gain insight into your triggers.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: This is something I do constantly.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: I wake up in a journal when I feel triggered.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: If I'm at home, I journal, I journal at night, just sort of like brain dump and let everything out.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: But one question that you can ask yourself in your journal, if that's part of your practice, is this what situations or people tend to trigger me the most?
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: What old wounds or beliefs might these triggers be linked to, and how can I respond differently, moving forward, so, again, bringing awareness to this and then beginning to heal the underlying wound that caused them, and then so healing emotional triggers and rewiring these patterns is not easy.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: It takes time, repetition and emotion.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Right, it takes patience, self-compassion.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: So in these moments like today, when I was upset and I was had all these negative things, like I could still have compassion for myself and be like, wow, like this does hurt, this is painful, but it doesn't have to be my truth, right, I can choose, I can change this.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: And you know, again, like those triggers, those feelings, those emotions, those core wounds came from deep seated wounds.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Right, this is not something that happened yesterday and now I'm feeling like this today.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: This is so subconscious and so deep, from childhood, or it could be from ancestors, from beyond right.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: So it's not always productive that our reactions, but they're a way that we've learned to protect ourselves.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: And so for me, that self-isolation, that pushing people away, that is how I learned I could be safe.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Because if I shared my emotions in certain situations, if I was vulnerable, that was seen as a weakness or it was used against me, it was manipulated.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: I was manipulated based on the things that I had expressed, and so I learned over time that I would just shut it down, I would cry to myself and I would package it up in a nice little box and shove it deep down inside and not let anybody see that you know, and that's not the way.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: That isn't productive.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: And being able to be open to share and to know that if somebody manipulates me, if somebody uses that against me, they are not for me, and I have enough safety in my own self, I have enough self-worth in myself to then keep that person out right, like that person does not belong in my life and an old version of me.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: The reason why I allowed that for so long is because I just didn't think that I was worthy.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: And I still.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Of course, that core wound still comes up, but I'm able to rewire it and reframe it and do things differently now, and that's where the empowerment comes in.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: So that's sort of the process that we can use, right?
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to go through actually all of these Mars in each sign.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: We'll just talk about briefly how to work with it and how it presents itself, right.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: So Mars in Aries Mars rules Aries, so it's at home in Aries.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: It's bold, it's direct, it's impulsive.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: So people with Mars in Aries are action-oriented and you thrive on quick decisions and challenges.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: However, you can also be quick to anger and impatience.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: So, working with this, you can channel this energy into constructive outlets like physical exercise, moving your body, creative projects.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: I saw this amazing thing on Instagram and it was just this guy was literally this is an extreme example but like this guy was hanging from his like he was like tied to a rope and he was just like swinging in his room and just like had buckets of paint and he was throwing them all over the place and I was like I want to do that so badly, but that's like you know, channeling it into a creative project, practicing patience, mindfulness, especially when you're in conflict, and just avoid being impulsive and, again, like that, visualizing how we want to respond is really helpful.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: Mars in Taurus it's slow, right.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: It's slow and steady when the race is sort of Taurus, and specifically Mars in here.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: It involves stability, comfort, persistence.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: It's not easily angered, but once it's triggered it is very stubborn and it can hold onto it for a long time.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: I have a Taurus sun and a Taurus mercury.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: I feel this so deeply.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: I also have my Mars and an earth sign, so that can also be related.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: But so we can work with this, then, by focusing on grounding practices like breath work, spending time in nature right.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: Practice releasing your anger rather than holding onto it right.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: So use that determination for long-term goals.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: So, whether it's journaling, somehow we need to get it out expressing to somebody in a really calm way right, can be really helpful in moving it out of your body.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Mars and Gemini it's curious and quick-witted.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: So if you have this placement, you're versatile, mentally agile, but you can also become scattered, argumentative.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Your emotional reactions can come through your words sharp defensiveness, frustration, those things.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: So, using this, you can channel this energy into communication, writing, learning right.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: When you're triggered, just take that pause before you respond, because you may be tempted to literally respond verbally right, so focus on your clarity in your speech and intention.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: Mars and Cancer again, which is what we're currently in is protective, emotionally driven.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: If you have this placement, you're sensitive and nurturing, but you can also be passive, aggressive or have emotional outbursts when you're triggered right.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: So, working with this, you want to honor your emotional needs and your boundaries and use Mars to nurture, protect and practice open communication rather than suppressing your feelings.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: Again, I think, with all of these, channeling them into creativity is really helpful.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: In the last week's episode, I talked to Manuela Welton.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: She was talking about expressing your anger through art, and I think that this is Mars, and so any way we're expressing Mars creatively is really helpful to move that energy.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Mars and Leo it brings passion, creativity, desire for recognition.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: So, if you have this placement, you're courageous, confident, but you can also be sort of prideful and reactive when your ego is challenged.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: So, working with this, use that creative spark to express yourself through art, performance, leadership, right.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: Practice humility and listen.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Practice listening, your listening skills, listen to others when they're in conflict.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: I think one of the best things that we can do in any situation is to come with a curious mindset If you are so stuck in your ways.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: Listen to the other person, understand their person.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: You might not agree with them, but try and listen to their perspective and why they're doing what they're doing right.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: This really does keep your ego in check and you can still express your authentic self by doing that.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: Mars and Virgo Detail, organized, precise, driven by service People with this placement if you have Mars and Virgo often organized, precise, driven by service People with this placement, if you have Mars in Virgo often channel your energy into productivity and perfectionism.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: But you can be critical or anxious under pressure, I find Virgos just have low lying frustration or anxiety.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: So, working with this constructive outlets, organizing, problem solving, health routines, right.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: So practice self-compassion, because that perfectionism can get really challenging and really hard.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: So, again, have compassion for yourself.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: Slow down and stop nitpicking.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: If you feel like you're nitpicking or overanalyzing, try to release that right.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Try and look at the positive, but make that list of all the things that you do bring to the table.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: Or, if you're falling into that perfectionist thing like, make a list of the things that you do do well, right.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Mars and Libra it wants harmony, balance, fairness.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: It's in its detriment, yeah, it's in its detriment in Libra, because it rules Aries, but Mars and Libra, again, harmony, balance, fairness, diplomatic, charming with people, because it's an air sign.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: You can struggle with indecisiveness, you can avoid conflict right, and then avoiding conflict can be passive, aggressive behavior.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: So with this you can channel your energy into diplomacy, building connections, work on asserting yourself confidently rather than avoiding that conflict, asserting yourself confidently rather than avoiding that conflict.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: And again, libra is art, so design and just like really team building within that.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: Mars and Scorpio.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Mars rules Scorpio as well.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Mars and Scorpio is passionate, transformative, deep.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: It brings really strong willpower and a desire for control, but can lead to jealousy, emotional extremes, sometimes manipulation, right, secrecy, self-isolation, those types of things.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: So you can use this energy for self-transformation, which is what part of Scorpio is exploring your desires.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: And also Scorpio rules the sex organs.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: Scorpio is highly sexual and Mars in Scorpio is really then reinstating and reinforcing or intensifying that sexual energy.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: But practice letting go of control and trusting the process, which can be really hard to do.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: Avoid emotional manipulation and work on direct communication, because Scorpio can lean into manipulation and not being quite direct.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: You know, like so many people fearing vulnerability and manipulation of others and self-preservation in there.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: Next one is Mars and Sagittarius.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: It's adventurous, optimistic and freedom-loving.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Freedom is a huge theme for Sagittarius.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: If you have this placement, you love exploring new experiences.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: You can be impulsive or restless in situations that feel restrictive, right.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: So use this with traveling, learning, physical activities, a fire sign, so always with all fire signs we're going to want to move the body.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: I mean with anything we want to move the body, but specifically with fire signs, practice patience and commitment with long-term focuses and in moments of conflict, try not to be too blunt or escape, right, and just try and have that open dialogue.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: I think that we can be direct with compassion and kindness, and sometimes, I think, too, even wording is funny too, because I don't think that blunt necessarily has to be a bad thing.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: But Mars and Capricorn disciplined, ambitious, strategic.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: If you have this placement, you excel in long-term goals and handling responsibilities, but you can struggle with rigidity or suppressing your emotions, right.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: So if you have this placement, use this energy for career advancement, goal setting, leadership right.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: Practice emotional openness and flexibility when life doesn't go as planned.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: I've gotten this so many, so I do, like I said before, I do have Mars and Capricorn I've gotten this so many times where it's just like, when things don't go your way, you pull a fit.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like I, I'm aware, but use that calm Capricorn energy rather than becoming cold and detached, which literally what I said.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: I tend to push people away.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: I do become cold and detached.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: I try and pretend like things don't bother me, but they do so.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Aquarius is next Mars.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: And Aquarius independent, innovative, rebellious.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: So if you have this placement, you value freedom and uniqueness.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: But you might struggle with detachment, erratic behavior when your individuality feels threatened.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: So, using this energy into progressive causes, technology, community work, get in your community.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: Aquarius is the humanitarian.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: Connect with others emotionally rather than distancing yourself.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: Aquarius is an air sign, so emotionally it can be a little cold and distant.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: But if you can practice connecting instead of again detaching or self-isolation rather, and stay open-minded in conflicts.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: And finally, pisces Mars in Pisces is compassionate, intuitive, imaginative, you prefer flowing with your emotions and you might avoid direct conflict, again passive-aggressive.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: When we're avoiding conflict, we can find ourselves to be passive-aggressive, right, escapism is a huge one with this, especially when you don't have clear boundaries.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: So you can use this energy for spiritual pursuits, creativity, healing, right Practice, setting healthy boundaries and assertiveness.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: And in moments of conflict, focus on clear, direct communication rather than avoidance.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: So the key takeaway today right, I think that we got a clear pattern or a clear tool to get you out of that fight or flight mode.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: Right, Pause, breathe.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: That visualization, daily visualization is going to help you rewire your brains that when you're in a trigger, you can respond a little bit differently.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: But Mars really holds the energy of your emotional reaction, emotional action, energy, right, and it's up to you how you're going to use that.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: So, once you noticed what your pattern is, if you want to rewire it, making these little changes to break the cycle, right, these tools that we went over breathwork, visualization, journaling can really, really, really help you create the space that you need to make conscious choices in the moment.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Because when you have awareness and you can take that brief pause even if it's two seconds, right, just something different I can really start to rewire that right and just come into the highest expression.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: It's not to say like, if you have Mars and Capricorn, that you're supposed to act like Mars and Pisces.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: No, if you have Mars and Capricorn, that you're supposed to act like Mars and Pisces, no, use that energy and use it for you.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: Lean into the higher expression of that instead of the shadow of it, of self-isolation, of pushing people away, right?
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: So when you do this right, you're not only healing old wounds, but you're creating a sense of inner strength and empowerment that allows you to move through challenges with more confidence, with more compassion, with more grace, right?
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: So that is the little episode.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: I guess it's not so little.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: It's 40 minutes now on Mars, and I thank you for being here and listening today.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: I hope this was helpful, even just like moving through this helped me move through my emotional response right, my Mars and Capricorn, where I was expressing and I was moving into that self-isolation and all those things.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: Like I even feel better talking about this.
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: So remember to use these practices and just do something different, do something different, choose to do something different.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: You really do have the power and the choice to do something different.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, you can share it with a friend.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: It really does help the podcast Subscribe, like all the things.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: If you share on Instagram, don't forget to tag me.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: It's at Rochelle Christian R-O-C-H-E-L-L-E.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: Dot.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: C-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n-e.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: Check the show notes.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: Everything is down there, all the resources.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: The Rewired Self is the new one-on-one three-month program.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: You can click.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: You can find out more information on there.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: One-on-one human design astrology sessions especially as we're navigating this really challenging time are available.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: And Substack I'm over on Substack.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: I have a newsletter Mastering Mondays and I put it on for 7 Monday and it's a weekly transit update and just sort of what's going on with me.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: So I thank you so much for being here, for listening, and have a wonderful week.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: I will be back with you next week for October's transit update.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: Can't believe September's already gone, but October's transit update will be next week.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: Talk to you then.