Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why do narcissists always seem to want revenge??

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Why do narcissists always seem to want revenge?? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we are discussing why narcissistic people will almost
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  always seek revenge or seek vengeance on you if they think
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  that you have done them wrong. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammond. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to episode 990 of the Narcissist
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  Code. Boom.
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  Welcome back, Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  I will have my vengeance Shall be mine.
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  You see, I'm worthy. I'm worthy of love cared
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  affection. Y'all check out the Self Love
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  Shop Link is in the description of every video and podcast that
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  I do. But yes, y'all narcissistic
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  people will seek vengeance. Vengeance shall be mine.
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  And they will. Yeah, I keep telling people this
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  all the time. And I was just like, I know some
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  of the stuff I say sounds repetitive because I I do redo
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  some things because my perspective changes.
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  If I did a video when I first got started on doing this in
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  2020 and I go back and listen to parts of it, my perspective
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  changes as I and that's how people will grow as I've grown.
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  My channel changes, My video by my views change because I have
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  more, more information that has been provided towards me, you
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  know? And I'm not saying I'm not
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  afraid to say I was wrong with something else.
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  So, yeah, but vengeance, that's one thing that I I felt.
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  I don't know. I always want to seek vengeance
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  on people. Y'all interesting.
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  One of the main reasons that narcissistic people tend to seek
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  vengeance on people who have hurt them is because you've hurt
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  them. Like there's there's shame
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  inside. A narcissist will almost never
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  let it go. It's like, it's so hard to let
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  that go. This is like, yeah, I still want
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  revenge on people who've done me wrong in 3rd grade, 5th grade.
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  I'm 38 years old, you know what I mean?
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  I'll be 39 in July on July 14th of this year.
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  I know people who are like, what's your birthday lady
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  Hammock? July 14th, 1985.
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  I'll be 39 years old this year. And this one of the things like,
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  I still hold grudges. It's yeah, I've worked better
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  because I've been in psychotherapy for six years, but
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  I hold grudges. It's like the inner voice.
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  My inner shame always brings it up.
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  It always tell. Like the shame in my the shame
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  inside of me. The voice inside of me is almost
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  is always telling me how I could have handled the situation
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  better to get vengeance or to how could it hurt somebody else
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  that hurt me. Remember this person called you
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  ugly 20-30 years ago? It's time to show them that
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  you're not ugly anymore. You know it's time.
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  It's time to reveal you. It's time for the great reveal.
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  You've had 30 years to work on yourself.
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  It's time for the great reveal. You know what I mean?
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  It's just that I know it sounds stupid, but that's the space
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  that so many people fall into right there.
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  It becomes time for the great reveal inside of these spaces.
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  Like they want to seek vengeance on you.
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  Because the inner, the inner voice of a narcissist is just
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  telling them to. Like I need to hurt you back
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  because you hurt me. I cannot let this go.
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  I can't move on with my life until I've sought vengeance on
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  you, until I hurt you the way you've hurt me.
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  And this is the crazy part about it.
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  Y'all you can hurt them by holding them accountable.
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  You hear what I said? You can hurt them by leaving
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  them. Hey look, this relationship
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  isn't working out for me. It's time for me to go.
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  I need to leave you. So you decide to leave, right?
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  And that hurts and that breaks them down.
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  Especially if you're not ready for them to leave.
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  No matter why you're leaving, they can literally put their
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  hands on you. Try to throw you off the top of
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  the Empire State Building, try to UN alive you.
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  And then you decide to leave. Like, look, I I got to.
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  I want to live. You know I choose life.
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  I can't be here with you. You're going to you're going to
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  send me to me. God sooner than I want to go
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  meet him. You see what I'm saying?
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  You're going to end my. You're going to end my life
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  before my time. I can't be here anymore with
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  you. And that will break them.
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  You're rejecting me. You see what I'm saying?
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  They'll blame you. You.
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  They'll hurt. They want to hurt you again.
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  And sometimes you leaving them for them hurting you hurts them
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  more somehow. It's weird in the mind of an
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  art. Yeah, it's weird inside the
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  mind. Like, wow, You really going to
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  leave me? Wow, I can't believe you.
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  You never loved me. You never cared about me.
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  That's why you hear those statements right there.
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  Because now they're angry as hell.
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  And some of them, and this is the crazy part about it, is he
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  let me go and tell you another crazy part.
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  They can leave you. They can leave you cut off
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  access to them. Like they can look, they can
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  leave you, and then you decide to cut off access and like, go,
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  no contact, never talk to them again and they'll be angry at
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  you and seek Avengers on you because you hurt their feelings.
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  There have been a whole new relationship, whole new
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  marriage, driving by your house, popping up at your job, seeing
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  you, blowing your phone up, doing all kinds of craziness.
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  And they left you. They want to hurt you.
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  They want to seek Avengers. You hurt me, I'm going to hurt
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  you. They'll try to get you fired
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  from your job. They'll try to divulge all your
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  secrets. If you told them anything in
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  confidence, it's going, you might as well.
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  You might as well got on the put everybody in a group, text
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  messages and told them, because now they're going to tell
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  everybody. If you don't answer the phone,
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  I'm going to tell your mom what you said about her.
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  If you don't answer the phone, I'm going to call your boss and
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  play the recording. And when you say you stole from
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  work, you see what I'm saying? They're going to try to ruin
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  your life because you hurt their feelings by cutting them off
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  even though they left you. They want to hurt you.
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  I'm just telling you. That's why sometimes y'all you
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  hear these, these crazy stories online where people are like me
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  and my partner have been broken up for 10 years and they still
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  sending me through. They still threatening me.
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  They still popping up. They still doing pop ups.
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  I've got a restraining order on them and they got mad.
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  They threatened to take my life or hurt me or harm me and my
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  children. I got a restraining order on
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  them and they got madder because they get their restraining order
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  is public record and people can see that they have a restraining
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  order on them. Now they're angry because I held
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  them accountable for their angry actions, you know, Now they want
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  to hurt me. They say when the restraining
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  order ends, I'm going to get you.
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  Now they just doubled it out. Now it turned into a lifetime
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  restraining order. Now they're angry at me again.
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  They held me accountable. Right.
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  You can. Yeah.
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  If you enforce A restraining order, they can start
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  threatening you more. They can pop up on you.
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  More people are losing their minds out here.
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  I'm just telling you they they they want to hurt you because
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  you hurt them. And like I said, not all
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  narcissists will seek vengeance in this way out.
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  I know some of y'all, some narcissists will leave you
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  alone. And this is the wild thing right
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  here that happens sometimes. Some people, when I do these
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  videos about narcissists seeking vengeance, some people will.
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  I'll do it one-on-one with some people or they'll send me an
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  e-mail, just like, leave. Well, my narcissist didn't seek.
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  My narcissistic ex didn't seek vengeance.
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  So am I not worth enough? Yeah, yourself Worth is not
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  tailored to a narcissist. They're going to value you.
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  They're going to yeah, they're going to value you like the
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  like. Gold in the wrong hands is just
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  a shiny rock. If you give me, if you give me a
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  a piece of gold that's this big right here.
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  If y'all on my podcast. I'm holding up a bottle, a pill
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  bottle. If you give me a chunk of gold
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  that's this big right here, I'm taking it to the appraiser.
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  Hey, look, I got a chunk of gold.
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  Give me my money, money, money, please.
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  I've seen what's the what's the TV show Parks and Rec with John
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  Raphael's sister. Money, please.
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  That's how I would do that. I would go right up in there to
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  the the appraiser. Gold appraiser.
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  Like, I'll hand them to the chunk of gold and be like money.
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  Please, I would do just like that.
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  But this is what happens in a lot of these spaces.
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  Y'all, if you hand that same chunk of gold to the wrong
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  person, it's just a shiny heavy rock.
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  This chunk of gold now in the wrong hands is just a door
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  weight. A paperweight.
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  Oh this. Hey man, you got a chunk of gold
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  on your hold your paper down. Oh, this is.
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  I found that outside. It's they don't value they're
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  never going to correctly value you.
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  They're never going to correctly value you.
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  So you can be a gold or a diamond, but in the you can be
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  gold, diamond, silver, platinum, whatever.
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  You know, But they're not going to value you correctly.
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  You're just a shiny rock to them.
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  So whether or not they Hoover you or try to seek vengeance on
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  you or whatever is not a reflection of your true worth or
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  true value, You know, because that is determined by you.
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  You have to see you. You have to see you before what
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  you're worth. I'm gold.
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  They just to them, I'm a you can be gold, but they could just see
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  you as a shiny rock. So whether or not they decide to
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  seek vengeance on you is less to do about you than how they look
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  at you. How they see you.
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  You see what I'm saying? What they attach to you.
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  You're worth more than what they're attached to you.
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  But you. I say that, but you have to
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  believe that. You know I can say anything, but
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  at the end of the day, you got to believe it.
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  You know what I mean? You have to take it.
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  Take take it as as as true and take action, you know, But if a
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  narcissist like Ali, Ali, you went into the vengeance, we get
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  it. We get it.
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  I'm gold. I'm a gold diamond.
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  We get that right? But how the hell do you make
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  them stop seeking vengeance? Y'all.
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  Sometimes you have to force them to stop and like I said forcing
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  them to stop with this vengeance stricted their own can agitate
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  some of them more. It can set some of them off
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  more. A lot of time they out there
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  they they want to seek vengeance on you.
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  They want to ruin your new relationships.
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  They want to ruin your new job. They want to ruin your glow up
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  journey. You know you don't went to the
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  gym hit the gym start losing weight you but you flexing on
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  the camera stuff like that you started flexing they'd be like
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  oh you flexing. I'm gonna make sure I try to get
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  back with you and get you fatten you go ahead and fatten you up.
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  You see what I'm saying? They will come back and try to
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  ruin you because they internally your glow up.
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  Your ability to leave them alone makes them hate themselves
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  internally. It makes them the the shame
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  makes them hate themselves internally and they want to
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  seek. The only way to get rid of the
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  shame temporarily because shame comes back.
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  Shame. Shame never leaves Narcissus.
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  The only way to get rid of the shame temporarily is to divide
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  to to to hurt you in some way, shape or form.
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  To make you cry, to hurt you, to do things like that.
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  And like I said, I know the way I described it most through most
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  of this video. It sounds like it's just an
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  through intimate partnerships. But this can be a friendship.
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  Your friends can seek vengeance on you for cutting off the
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  friendship. They can spread rumours and tell
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  your friends what you said about them.
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  Your parents can do the same thing.
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  Your parents can try to ruin your life.
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  I heard stories about this. One woman told me a story about
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  her her how her mom is going to court with her toxic abusive ex
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  to press charges on her to to be a witness for her ex because she
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  cut her mom off. She cut her mom off.
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  And her mom wants to seek vengeance and hurt her.
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  So she's testifying against her and she testifying against her
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  daughter because her daughter wouldn't decide to go no contact
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  because she's abusive and wouldn't ever apologize.
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  Never took accountability. So the kid can be your parent.
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  There doesn't always have to be a, like I said, an intimate
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  partner. This can be one of your parents
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  as well, you know what I mean? People walking down my office,
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  but that's what happens. Y'all that's what's going on and
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  whatnot. So I just feel like they will
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  always seek Avengers. And how they seek Avengers,
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  there's there's limited way, limited, limitless ways that
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  they can seek Avengers. Y'all whatever they think will
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  hurt you, they will try to do and some of them don't care how
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  it affects them. Y'all.
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  You know, in one of the terms I see one of the that you see a
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  lot of the younger generation used nowadays, it's called
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  crashing out. Some of them will absolutely
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  crash out to hurt you. Yeah, Some of them will
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  absolutely crash out and ruin, destroy their own lives.
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  As long as it means hurting you in some way, shape or form.
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  So you got to empower yourself to keep moving forward, stay as
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  strong as you possibly can. Make sure you subscribe to this
• 11:51
  channel and subscribe to my newsletter.
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  I appreciate every single single one of y'all.
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  I'm out. Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  for being here. If you haven't already, make
• 12:04
  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 12:06
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 12:08
  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
• 12:12
  kids. But remember, it's not your
• 12:14
  fault on Amazon, so check that out.
• 12:16
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.