Latest / Homeschool Insights - Biblical Home Education Inspiration in Under 10 Minutes! / Are You Protecting Your Kids Too Much? Prepare Them for the Real World - Mary DeMuth
Transcript
- speaker-0: They were in a structure of high control parents who always told them what to do and what not to do. And when they got to college, they had developed no skills in how to navigate life. And so there was this vacuum. speaker-1: Parents want to protect their kids from pain. Like we don't want our kids to feel pain. I know it was like shocking to me when the Lord basically told me, He's like, Christy, you cannot be the Holy Spirit for your kids. Like you know, you read through James and the way I want to build character in my kids, but the Lord's like, yeah, so do I. And so sometimes they have to walk through things. So as much as we want to protect them from pain, like what is the difference between like wisely protecting our kids versus trying to shield them from everything that's hard in their life? speaker-0: You know, I think we just follow their ⁓ growth pattern. ⁓ when they are babies, when they are toddlers, we have a mandate to protect them at all costs. We make sure that they do not run out into the middle of the road. And ⁓ we're not gonna be gentle parents in that particular instance because we need to rescue our child from imminent danger. Yes. But as they grow older, they become more and more responsible and we need to allow them to fall in sm You know, small ways, bigger ways, bigger ways as they grow older. Our job as parents is not to protect them in a bubble and then suddenly release them to the world and have them freak out. In fact, there was a study that I quoted in a a book that I wrote. It was initially called Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture. And now it's called You Can Raise Courageous and Confident Kids. But in there, it talked about this study that talked about kids in highly structured, highly protective environments and how A very large majority of them when they got to college, their ⁓ score of being influenced by cult leaders was off the charts. Wow. Because they were in a structure of high control parents who always told them what to do and what not to do. And when they got to college, they had developed no skills in how to navigate life. And so there was this vacuum. Where's my person who will tell me what to do and what not to do? ⁓ hi, cult leader. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Seemed to have all the answers. And so we as parents are slowly preparing our children to meet the challenges of this world. I I met with a lady recently and her kids were in high school and she was still doing their laundry. And I was like, Okay, dude, this week, no more laundry. They can do their own laundry. They're not babies. They can do their laundry. They need to this is a life skill that they need to have. And she came back to me the next week at church and she said, Mary. I haven't done their laundry for a whole week and it feels great. I'm like, yes, that's what it's about. You have to train them to meet the world, not the idealized world that you wish was there, but the actual world that has dirty clothes in it. speaker-1: ⁓ yeah. Well, I mean, I feel like even from my college experience, like going back, go going back to the 1900s. Yeah. Days of your I remember like how like crazy it was to watch, you know, I went to Pepperdine, which is supposed to like a Christian college. And there are these kids that were, you know, partying it up on Saturday night, but Sunday morning they're showing up at church, and that was so bizarre to me. Like I was not was not ready for that. And just seeing how people like speaker-0: The days of your own. speaker-1: When they're out from underneath their parents', you know, home, their their roof, their protective, you know, roof, that ⁓ my word, like they were just like, what else is out there that I can try? It's like, ha ha. So yeah, that's so good. ⁓ how just even now we can be giving a little more freedom. Yeah. So my ⁓ my second son, ⁓ when he turned 18, his big thing is that he wanted to go skydiving. And he did. But I I I tried to be like so I'm like I went sky to I went at twenty when I was a little older. But it was still like I tried not to let it show, but inside I'm like ⁓ speaker-0: Mm-hmm. speaker-1: So it's a little scary as they get older and start making decisions for themselves. speaker-2: This episode of Homeschool Insights is brought to you by Liberty HealthShare. Choosing to homeschool is about making intentional decisions for your family. Liberty HealthShare is another way families across the country are choosing a different path, one that offers a community-centered approach to health care cost sharing that can help you keep more of your hard-earned dollars while getting the medical care your family needs. Learn more at LibertyHealthShare.org. That's LibertyHealthShare.org.