Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / 5 things that could set a narcissist off

Transcript

5 things that could set a narcissist off · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people?
• 0:01
  Today we're going to be talking about things that make a
• 0:05
  narcissist angry. They ain't.
• 0:06
  They ain't. That could set that narcissistic
• 0:08
  person off. If you're new here, my name is
• 0:10
  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
• 0:11
  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
• 0:13
  of the Narcissist Coat. So welcome back.
• 0:32
  Welcome back. Welcome back.
• 0:33
  Yes, yes, yes. Y'all I'm in a car.
• 0:35
  Baseball practice is again my son is he felt he's seems like
• 0:37
  he's falling in love with baseball and whatnot.
• 0:39
  And I'm you know, I'm here for it.
• 0:41
  I love it. I do love it.
• 0:43
  It would not. But things that could make a
• 0:46
  narcissist angry, Let's talk, let's talk about let's talk
• 0:49
  about it. You know because it doesn't take
• 0:51
  a lot to make a narcissist angry.
• 0:53
  But there are quite a few things that could set them off.
• 0:56
  They can set them off and like, some of it is going to sound
• 0:59
  reasonable and a lot of it. Some of it is going to be like,
• 1:01
  what the heck, Lee? What?
• 1:02
  And what? What late?
• 1:06
  Come on now. That doesn't make any sense.
• 1:08
  Yeah, some of it's not going to make sense to you because you
• 1:11
  don't have the mind of a narcissist.
• 1:13
  Your mind doesn't work that way. It makes sense to me, even
• 1:16
  though it doesn't. If y'all get what I'm saying
• 1:18
  because I'm a narcissist and I'm just not.
• 1:21
  I feel like this is going to sound, it's going to sound
• 1:23
  braggadocious. I know.
• 1:24
  Let me go and say that, but I feel like not only am IA self
• 1:28
  aware narcissist, I'm a conscious narcissist.
• 1:31
  My my level of consciousness is above I would say most
• 1:37
  narcissists, you know most of them because that's why it
• 1:41
  allows me to be right here. So it's not just self aware,
• 1:43
  it's consciousness as well, you know, because you can be self
• 1:46
  aware. Self aware just means knowing
• 1:48
  I'm conscious and I I can make different.
• 1:50
  Being conscious allows me to make different decisions.
• 1:53
  You know, people can be aware that they're in a coma.
• 1:56
  I'm in a coma. I think, you know, there's
• 1:58
  awareness that you know something's going on.
• 2:00
  But consciousness allows you to make the allows you to make a
• 2:04
  change in your life, active change and whatnot.
• 2:07
  So things that set the narcissist off.
• 2:09
  The first thing is going to be your success.
• 2:14
  Yeah, I know it sounds Uber ignorant.
• 2:17
  I know it sounds extraordinarily stupid that your success, your
• 2:22
  rise to fame, your rise, your your rise in the ranks of life
• 2:27
  can make your narcissistic partner angry as hell.
• 2:31
  I know it sounds ignorant. Y'all this is me telling you,
• 2:34
  Hey, look, I know this sounds ignorant.
• 2:35
  This is me letting you know that it sounds ignorant, but your
• 2:38
  success could set that narcissistic person off it.
• 2:41
  It could. It could set your partner off.
• 2:43
  You've been with a You've had a narcissistic partner that your
• 2:46
  success made rubbed them the wrong way and they started
• 2:48
  treating you differently. Because you got a better job.
• 2:51
  Because you graduated from college.
• 2:52
  Because you took a further step in life, because you have a
• 2:54
  higher degree than them, because you make more money than them.
• 2:57
  Your success can set them. Your success can absolutely set
• 3:02
  off a narcissist, right? It just does.
• 3:04
  It's one of those weird things that antagonizes and hurts the
• 3:07
  feelings of your partner or your parent.
• 3:09
  It could be a parent, could be a friend.
• 3:11
  The role of the narcissist in your life doesn't really matter
• 3:14
  because your success, if they cannot take credit for it, will
• 3:17
  set them off, even be real. Even if they can't take credit
• 3:21
  for it, it could still set them off, you know?
• 3:25
  It could absolutely still set them off, even if they can't
• 3:27
  can't take credit for it. Hey, my son's in the NBA.
• 3:31
  I I took him all his practices. They're jealous because they
• 3:33
  didn't. They never played college
• 3:35
  basketball. You see what I'm saying?
• 3:37
  Hey, my daughter's in the WNBA. Same situation applies.
• 3:40
  You know, my child is the exceptional athlete, and they
• 3:45
  only do that because I put the work in with them, you see, But
• 3:47
  they're still, they can still be jealous of you and things of
• 3:49
  that nature. So your success could absolutely
• 3:52
  set jet narcissistic person off. You know, it sounds stupid.
• 3:55
  Know it sounds ignorant, but that's part of the ignorant,
• 3:58
  stupid dynamic that you go into and whatnot.
• 4:01
  The next thing is, this sets they could set a narcissist off
• 4:04
  and make them angry again. This is, you know, probably
• 4:08
  going to be one of the dumb ones.
• 4:10
  But your relationships, you know, the quality of your
• 4:14
  relationships can make a narcissist angry.
• 4:18
  A lot of these are going to boil.
• 4:19
  A lot of these are going to have the undertone of jealousy.
• 4:24
  Jealousy is going to be right beneath the surface of this
• 4:27
  relationship dynamic. Right?
• 4:28
  Jealousy is going to be right beneath the surface of it.
• 4:30
  And you know you you can understand that you can fight
• 4:33
  for it. You can you can get it as well,
• 4:35
  but jealousy is going to be part of it, right?
• 4:38
  But so that's how it works in the mind of a lot of
• 4:40
  narcissistic people. There's like, the quality of
• 4:43
  your relationships can make that narcissist jealous, which which
• 4:46
  can set them off and make them angry, which can set them off
• 4:49
  and make them want to isolate you, which can set them off and
• 4:53
  make them want to treat you a certain type of way.
• 4:55
  It exhibits certain types of behaviors towards you because
• 4:58
  they're jealous of you. They're hurt.
• 5:00
  Their feelings are hurt. They're feeling a certain type
• 5:02
  of way about the situation of what is going on.
• 5:04
  Because you have, you're close to your mom.
• 5:07
  You're close to your dad, right? You're close to your best
• 5:11
  friend. You have a best friend that
• 5:12
  you've known since college or since childhood.
• 5:14
  You're you know, that can make them mad right there.
• 5:17
  It really, really can't. It can set them off to a point
• 5:19
  where it's just like you're like, what the hell is going on
• 5:22
  with you? What is wrong with you?
• 5:23
  Why are you angry that I'm hanging out with my friends?
• 5:25
  Are you jealous of my friends? No, I'm not jealous of my
• 5:27
  friends. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 5:28
  They get angry. I'm.
• 5:29
  I'm calling my mom real quick. You talk to your mom too much
• 5:33
  and they make sure this is OK with my dad.
• 5:35
  I talk to your dad about everything.
• 5:37
  I mean, I'm in your life right now.
• 5:38
  You see what I'm saying? It's always going.
• 5:40
  They could set them off right there.
• 5:41
  They can make them angry. They can make them feel a
• 5:43
  certain type of way about you and start to treat you a certain
• 5:45
  type of way, right. It can absolutely make them
• 5:48
  behave in a certain type of way because of what's going on,
• 5:52
  because of this experience, because of you know how this,
• 5:54
  how this is going on, how you experiencing this behaviors and
• 5:57
  whatnot, how you experiencing this relationship.
• 5:59
  So yeah, your relationships, the quality of your relationships
• 6:02
  can absolutely set that narcissistic person off, you
• 6:05
  know, it really, really can. So I would just say that as
• 6:08
  well, the next thing they can make a narcissist angry.
• 6:12
  The next thing is your past. Your past, the past you had
• 6:19
  before them, you know, can set them off.
• 6:23
  The the past that you had before them can absolutely make that
• 6:28
  narcissistic person in your life lose their mind.
• 6:32
  It really can. That's one of those things like
• 6:35
  the your past relationships or who you used to date, who you
• 6:38
  used to deal with. Your ex-husband or ex-wife,
• 6:41
  whoever it is in this situation, can absolutely have that
• 6:44
  narcissistic part, person or partner in your life go lose
• 6:49
  their minds and you just set them off.
• 6:50
  They can always, they'll always bring it up as well.
• 6:52
  Again, this, this is another one of those things that has that
• 6:56
  subtle undertone of jealousy right here, right?
• 7:00
  This is one of those things that has that sudden, sudden
• 7:03
  undertones of jealousy and rage and whatnot and so on and so
• 7:07
  forth, because it goes into that space and within that dynamic,
• 7:11
  you know, because they can be jealous of your past.
• 7:13
  They just think about it. They're consistently thinking
• 7:15
  about it, makes them insecure and whatnot.
• 7:18
  It absolutely can make them insecure enough, consistently
• 7:20
  feel a certain type of way about it.
• 7:22
  So your past, your past relationships can absolutely
• 7:25
  make them angry and set them off.
• 7:27
  Sorry, y'all, had to cut. I had to make a cut right there,
• 7:29
  a little jump cut right there, 'cause my son was hidden and I
• 7:31
  had to make sure I filled it for his mom.
• 7:33
  So excuse me. So yes, your past can absolutely
• 7:37
  affect how a narcissist treats you.
• 7:39
  It was not how it can set them off and make them angry.
• 7:42
  The next thing on the list is your looks yo your level of
• 7:47
  attractiveness. The way you look can absolutely
• 7:52
  root, positively set your partner off your the way you
• 7:56
  look and present yourself. Your level of attractiveness can
• 8:00
  absolutely do damage to that toxic to that toxic person's
• 8:04
  mind. It can make them extremely
• 8:06
  insecure to be around you to the point where they don't want,
• 8:09
  like they want to be in the house all the time, you know,
• 8:11
  they want to keep you in the house.
• 8:12
  They don't want to do anything outside the house or they don't
• 8:15
  want to do anything. They want to be homebodies.
• 8:18
  They want you to be a homebody. But they'll go out and do
• 8:20
  whatever they want to do, you know, they'll absolutely go out
• 8:25
  and do whatever they want to do while trying to keep you in the
• 8:28
  house. So they can't absolutely set
• 8:30
  them off the way you look. It can piss them off like you're
• 8:32
  you, you're just conventionally attractive, you know what I
• 8:35
  mean? You're just convincedly
• 8:37
  attractive. So that's why people want to be
• 8:38
  around you and they makes them jealous, you know?
• 8:40
  They can't think that you are a just a good person overall.
• 8:46
  It has to be. Only people want to be around
• 8:48
  you because your looks, they always make excuses because
• 8:50
  they're jealous and insecure. You know, everything I've talked
• 8:53
  about had the sudden the undertones of bringing shame
• 8:56
  into their life because they're jealous and they can be
• 8:58
  seriously insecure people, right?
• 9:02
  Am I right? Am I right?
• 9:03
  That's one of those things that can consistently happen within
• 9:06
  these relationship spaces. They will can absolutely be
• 9:08
  jealous. They can absolutely be insecure
• 9:10
  and they will hold you, hold you accountable for it right there.
• 9:14
  You know, they will absolutely hold you accountable in that
• 9:16
  position right there, you know, And the last thing I'm going to
• 9:19
  talk about today, I know there are a few other things.
• 9:20
  If I miss some things, they can set them off.
• 9:23
  Drop it in the comment section, of course.
• 9:24
  Talk, let's talk. Talk in the comment section.
• 9:26
  Y'all it helps. It helps other people.
• 9:27
  That's the goal. That's the point, right?
• 9:29
  Isn't it? To help other people understand
• 9:31
  because I know I miss some things, but if I miss something
• 9:33
  right in the comment section, you know, because if I miss
• 9:36
  something, help other people and other people might say you
• 9:41
  missed this one and they'll go through the comment section.
• 9:42
  It's like, oh, I went through the same thing.
• 9:44
  That's how you can help people. That's why I started my support
• 9:46
  group. Link in the description and bio.
• 9:48
  Description every video and podcast that I do.
• 9:51
  Yeah. Last reason I'm getting today is
• 9:53
  you trying to hold them accountable.
• 9:55
  Y'all, I know a lot of y'all feel this right here.
• 9:58
  You actually trying to hold them accountable for something that
• 10:01
  they have actually done can piss them off, will piss them off,
• 10:07
  you know, It can make them angry.
• 10:09
  It can absolutely make them angry.
• 10:11
  It can set them off. And the way a lot, the way a lot
• 10:14
  of narcissists display their anger is going to be different.
• 10:16
  Not all narcissists rage out on you.
• 10:19
  You get a lot of narcissistic people that are passive
• 10:22
  aggressive. They will just give you the
• 10:23
  silent treatment or ignore you or act like you don't exist.
• 10:26
  You know, some of them will just discard you and break up with
• 10:28
  you. Somebody, we'll absolutely break
• 10:30
  up with you because you're trying to hold them accountable.
• 10:32
  Because they didn't sign up for, they didn't sign up for that in
• 10:35
  this relationship, like you didn't mention that we were when
• 10:38
  we were hashing out the terms and conditions in this
• 10:41
  relationship. You never mentioned
• 10:43
  accountability. You said nothing of the sorts.
• 10:46
  You never, you never mentioned holding me accountable.
• 10:49
  So how dare you try to do it now, no matter what they have
• 10:52
  done. Y'all.
• 10:53
  No matter what they have done, they do not expect you to hold
• 10:56
  them accountable for it. So you are like, this is a piece
• 10:59
  of you. This is a piece of how things
• 11:00
  are going to go. You have to keep moving forward.
• 11:04
  This is part of who you are. This is part of what's going to
• 11:06
  happen. Y'all I'll just promise you this
• 11:07
  is part of it. You know, Again, there's no way
• 11:11
  to. You can't a lot of this stuff on
• 11:13
  this list you can't control. Y'all.
• 11:15
  These are all your control. You can't control your past
• 11:17
  relationships. You can't control your current
• 11:19
  relationships. You can't control holding them.
• 11:21
  There's certain things y'all they are going to make them
• 11:24
  jealous and set them off regardless of what you do and
• 11:26
  who it comes from. So live your life to the full
• 11:29
  extent possible and keep you know, just stay empowered and
• 11:31
  whatnot. Anyways, if you haven't already,
• 11:33
  make sure you subscribe to the channel if you made it this far.
• 11:35
  I'm super thankful for you. Courses One on one's everything
• 11:38
  is in the description of every video and podcast that I do.
• 11:41
  My iPad, music people, Spotify, people hit that five stars for
• 11:43
  me. Please give me a good review.
• 11:45
  Thank you so much. I appreciate every single one of
• 11:46
  y'all mental illness is out peace.
• 11:49
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 11:51
  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
• 11:54
  for being here. If you haven't already, make
• 11:56
  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 11:58
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 12:00
  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
• 12:03
  kids. But remember, it's not your
• 12:05
  fault on Amazon so check that out.
• 12:08
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
• 12:09
  video. Peace.