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SMNTY Classics: The Myths of Virginity (Part 1) · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sanny and Samantha.
0:06
Speaker 2: Welcome to steph wan Ever Told your production of iHeartRadio.
0:18
Speaker 3: So, if you are a listener, you may have noticed
0:22
Speaker 3: we've been talking a lot about religion lately. Yes, and
0:27
Speaker 3: we have more to go. We have a lot more
0:29
Speaker 3: to go. But one of the things we talked about
0:31
Speaker 3: recently in those episodes was around purity culture. And you
0:37
Speaker 3: mentioned in there that you know, we had talked about
0:41
Speaker 3: it before, but there was just so much more to
0:43
Speaker 3: it than we got to go into in those episodes
0:48
Speaker 3: where we did talk about it. So we thought we
0:51
Speaker 3: would bring we would bring those episodes back where we
0:54
Speaker 3: talked about it and especially around myths around virginity and
0:59
Speaker 3: why can be so damaging and have been so damaging.
1:02
Speaker 3: So in that spirit, here is part one of the
1:07
Speaker 3: two parter we did on the midst of Virginity.
1:10
Speaker 2: Please enjoy.
1:16
Speaker 3: Hey, this is Andy and Samantha and welcome to Stefan
1:19
Speaker 3: Never Told your production of iHeartRadio.
1:30
Speaker 1: So at the beginning of this episode, we're going to
1:32
Speaker 1: go ahead and put in this trigger warning. We are
1:34
Speaker 1: going to be mentioning sexual abuse, assault and religious trauma.
1:38
Speaker 1: So justin FYI and as you probably can tell from
1:41
Speaker 1: the title we are going into the world of purity
1:45
Speaker 1: in virginity, So there you go. We're not going to
1:49
Speaker 1: be too explicit, but there are some things where I
1:51
Speaker 1: think it could get sensitive, you.
1:53
Speaker 3: Know, yes, and peek behind the podcast curtains, depending on
2:00
Speaker 3: how much Samantha and I have to say. On top
2:03
Speaker 3: of foot we researched. This could be a two partner.
2:05
Speaker 2: We don't know. A surprise.
2:09
Speaker 1: It's a surprise for all it is, all right, Well, Annie,
2:13
Speaker 1: I do have a question for you, and I don't
2:15
Speaker 1: think we've ever talked about this. Uh huh, Hey, did
2:19
Speaker 1: your parents ever talk to you about the birds and
2:21
Speaker 1: the bees?
2:24
Speaker 3: They attempted to. So what happened was I was in
2:31
Speaker 3: eighth grade and my dad at this time he was
2:38
Speaker 3: the one who used to pick me up because he
2:39
Speaker 3: worked near me and he was a college professor so oftentimes,
2:43
Speaker 3: like his schedule lined up so it was easy for
2:45
Speaker 3: him to pick me up. And this resulted in some
2:49
Speaker 3: you know, really awkward father daughter but like it shouldn't
2:53
Speaker 3: be awkward, but it was awkward of like me having
2:55
Speaker 3: to buy pads and stuff, so he knew like that
2:58
Speaker 3: was going on. I was really young when my first period,
3:01
Speaker 3: but we were stuck in traffic because it's a small
3:04
Speaker 3: town but all the roads get packed around school time,
3:07
Speaker 3: and he just brought it up out of nowhere of like, so,
3:11
Speaker 3: do you know what sex is? And I said yes,
3:15
Speaker 3: And there was a like really prolonged, protracted, awkward boss
3:20
Speaker 3: and he said okay, good, and that was the end
3:24
Speaker 3: of it. So essentially I was a little annoyed when
3:32
Speaker 3: this happened because I was like, of course I already
3:34
Speaker 3: know about this. You're way too late to be giving
3:36
Speaker 3: me this talk. But I did have questions and I
3:40
Speaker 3: honestly didn't really know. I knew like what I've heard
3:42
Speaker 3: from friends and when I looked up in the encyclopedia,
3:46
Speaker 3: but it felt so like uncool and extremely awkward to
3:50
Speaker 3: tell my dad like, yeah, I am fifteen and I
3:54
Speaker 3: wouldn't like to.
3:55
Speaker 2: Learn more about sex.
3:58
Speaker 3: So and he was equally like, he did not follow
4:01
Speaker 3: up after I said I know what it is.
4:04
Speaker 2: That was the end. That was the attempted talk. Yes, okay.
4:08
Speaker 1: And during that time, did you have any moment of
4:10
Speaker 1: what he talked about your responsibility as the girl?
4:13
Speaker 3: No, it was literally just the tense, very tense, awkward
4:20
Speaker 3: I'm glad you know about it. I remember having a
4:24
Speaker 3: teetering moment where it felt like he was on the
4:27
Speaker 3: verge of asking have you had sex right, or like
4:31
Speaker 3: going into it, and he didn't pursue it, but I did.
4:35
Speaker 3: I had like this nervous anticipation of he was going
4:38
Speaker 3: to ask, and if he had, I don't know what
4:42
Speaker 3: I would have done right, because I might have I
4:47
Speaker 3: might have lied. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. It's interesting.
4:53
Speaker 1: Well, there's a whole other level to that, but yeah,
4:56
Speaker 1: did you ever talk to your mom about it?
4:57
Speaker 3: I didn't talk to my mom about it. I asked
5:01
Speaker 3: her about other kind of related things, I guess, and
5:06
Speaker 3: I would ask her like, how do you meet people?
5:08
Speaker 3: It seems like they're doing it in a bar? And
5:10
Speaker 3: she was like, oh, no, not that, but not really yeah.
5:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. So for myself, I did have a moment
5:17
Speaker 1: where my mother came and approached me, but it wasn't
5:20
Speaker 1: necessarily about sex as much as you kind of just
5:24
Speaker 1: get our history about herself and her and my dad
5:29
Speaker 1: have always been together, and they've been together happily since
5:32
Speaker 1: a very young age, and like because they were so
5:37
Speaker 1: not like they were a permanent fixture in my life
5:40
Speaker 1: that they were the couple, no other couple. They didn't
5:43
Speaker 1: really date anybody else. It was just them. They got married,
5:46
Speaker 1: they've been together. They would not know what to do
5:48
Speaker 1: with out each other type of level. So some of
5:51
Speaker 1: the things that we talk about, she had a lot
5:53
Speaker 1: of shame factor on herself, which I was kind of like.
5:56
Speaker 1: It was like, I wasn't super shocked, but I.
5:58
Speaker 2: Was like, you know, that's not okay.
6:01
Speaker 1: Everything's worked out, it's beautiful, your marriage is beautiful. I
6:03
Speaker 1: don't understand what's happening. But it was a weird like
6:06
Speaker 1: connotation of you know, we did it this way. You
6:09
Speaker 1: don't have to do it this way, but this is
6:11
Speaker 1: what this looks like and being in love is beautiful.
6:14
Speaker 1: And I will say like they definitely encourage the whole
6:17
Speaker 1: way till you're married thing, but it wasn't pushed. It
6:20
Speaker 1: was also, I think a little beyond them because the
6:24
Speaker 1: expectation was everybody's human and everybody's gonna sin, not necessarily
6:29
Speaker 1: just make mistakes, but sin, and it isn't to them.
6:32
Speaker 1: It was sin, but it wasn't unforgivable, if that makes sense.
6:36
Speaker 1: And again, as you the audience, you're the listeners, you
6:39
Speaker 1: probably already know and can tell as it was in
6:42
Speaker 1: the subject. It's in the heading, so you kind of
6:44
Speaker 1: already know what you're jumping into. Yesterday's episode, we are
6:47
Speaker 1: jumping into the wormhole of the ideology, myths and even
6:51
Speaker 1: the history and origination of virginity and purity. And y'all,
6:57
Speaker 1: oh god, what a spiral it was. Is there are
7:01
Speaker 1: so many books, of course, and there's a lot of
7:03
Speaker 1: conversation that's been happening that needs to happen, and there's
7:06
Speaker 1: still a lot of opposing views. I think this is
7:08
Speaker 1: probably one of those things that would split my family
7:12
Speaker 1: in half, Like the conversations would go back and forth,
7:15
Speaker 1: like we make jokes about things. And again, my parents
7:18
Speaker 1: and my family are not necessarily stickler sticklers, but the
7:22
Speaker 1: whole idea of morality, purity, virginity, it's a serious thing.
7:26
Speaker 2: It's a serious.
7:27
Speaker 1: Concept for my family, who is very, very very religious.
7:31
Speaker 1: But there's no shunning. I would say that as much
7:34
Speaker 1: as they would love to say everybody's perfect in this family,
7:37
Speaker 1: they would never dismiss or like send someone off because
7:42
Speaker 1: they disagreed. So I will say that, but yeah, it's
7:46
Speaker 1: a really divisive issue.
7:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and again it's another one of those things,
7:53
Speaker 3: and we're going to talk about some of our own
7:54
Speaker 3: personal experiences and thoughts around it as we go.
7:58
Speaker 2: But that I have learned.
8:01
Speaker 3: Is not a big deal in every culture or in
8:05
Speaker 3: every society. And that was kind of a shock to
8:08
Speaker 3: me because in my growing up in the US in
8:11
Speaker 3: the South, with yeah, I would see things like you
8:14
Speaker 3: were describing with my really Christian friends with their parents
8:18
Speaker 3: being like, you can't have sex before marriage and all
8:20
Speaker 3: that stuff, and being asked to go to like purity ceremonies.
8:23
Speaker 3: So I had that with me, and I thought it was,
8:25
Speaker 3: you know, just a big deal across the board around
8:28
Speaker 3: the world, and I.
8:29
Speaker 2: Learned that's not quite the case.
8:34
Speaker 3: Yes, so virginity and here, yes, we are talking about
8:38
Speaker 3: the whole heteronormative concept of male and female penis and
8:42
Speaker 3: vagina intercourse, which, yes, is why this whole concept is
8:47
Speaker 3: misleading and problematic, or at least one of the things
8:50
Speaker 3: that makes it problematic and misleading. So just to put
8:53
Speaker 3: that right at the top, that is what we're talking about.
8:56
Speaker 3: So let's start, in typical spinty fashion with some definition.
9:01
Speaker 3: Virginity as defined by Miriam Webster, the quality or state
9:04
Speaker 3: of being a virgin, especially maidenhood or the unmarried life celibacy.
9:10
Speaker 3: And for bonus points here maidenhood is defined as the quality, state,
9:13
Speaker 3: or time of being a maiden or an unmarried girl
9:16
Speaker 3: or woman.
9:17
Speaker 1: So yes, already we can see the uh sexist leadings
9:22
Speaker 1: of where this word came from. Another definition of virginity
9:26
Speaker 1: can also be described as the state of never having
9:28
Speaker 1: engaged in sexual intercourse. Again, very heteronormative and very such
9:33
Speaker 1: gender type of conversation here, or can be characterized as a.
9:37
Speaker 2: State of purity, And here purity means.
9:39
Speaker 1: A physical chastity, going back to virginity, so it's like
9:43
Speaker 1: a back and forth. Obviously these terms seemed to go cyclical.
9:47
Speaker 1: Just go ahead with that.
9:48
Speaker 3: There, Yes, And I was just reminded as you were
9:51
Speaker 3: going through that I had friends named chastity.
9:55
Speaker 1: Yes, that was a punchline in a recent episode of
9:59
Speaker 1: a Parks and Wreck that I just watched.
10:01
Speaker 3: Oh, I've forgotten about that one. And while we're here,
10:06
Speaker 3: we might as well go through some of the slang
10:09
Speaker 3: that is used for those who have had sex for
10:11
Speaker 3: the first time, such as popping your cherry, cherry poppin' devirginized, whole, punch,
10:17
Speaker 3: the V card, broke, the vandsop plowed, losing your religion,
10:21
Speaker 3: Papa Luck, devirginization, swiping the V card, and so many more.
10:25
Speaker 2: A lot of them don't make much sense.
10:27
Speaker 3: A lot of the ones I just went through I've
10:29
Speaker 3: never heard, and I'm kind of confused.
10:32
Speaker 1: But all right, well, the worst is very long, and
10:35
Speaker 1: some of them didn't quite make sense, and I think
10:38
Speaker 1: that's because of my naivety.
10:39
Speaker 2: I'm gonna leave it there.
10:41
Speaker 1: The website that I use is quite long as in fact,
10:44
Speaker 1: it's also censored, so it's blurred. You have to click
10:46
Speaker 1: approvals to get to see all of them. Wow, And
10:49
Speaker 1: the ones that were blurred didn't make sense as to
10:52
Speaker 1: why it was blurred. So I'm like, oh, I definitely
10:53
Speaker 1: don't understand what.
10:56
Speaker 2: Me And then you have to debate, like is this
10:58
Speaker 2: worth looking it up?
11:02
Speaker 1: Yeah? Like this is already bad, and yeah, I think
11:05
Speaker 1: you listeners already know our search engines are going to
11:07
Speaker 1: be crazy and people are gonna be like, what's wrong
11:09
Speaker 1: with you?
11:10
Speaker 2: What kind of devian are you?
11:12
Speaker 1: But there was so many, and of course a lot
11:15
Speaker 1: of them also had connotations of like losing something, everything
11:20
Speaker 1: being virgin, So whether you're your first kiss, then you
11:24
Speaker 1: got you know, you're a virgin to kissing the type
11:26
Speaker 1: of thing. So that had those words as well, So
11:28
Speaker 1: I was like, that's not what we're looking for. But yeah,
11:30
Speaker 1: right that, uh, that rabbit hole was fun. Yeah, I'm
11:34
Speaker 1: sure and confusing.
11:35
Speaker 3: I remember that was the thing too when you were
11:38
Speaker 3: in high school and you would like, because there's all
11:40
Speaker 3: those things with cherries on them, righted towards young girls,
11:44
Speaker 3: and you would be like, somehow that became almost like
11:48
Speaker 3: an invitation, right, so you I wouldn't.
11:51
Speaker 2: Wear anything with cherries on it.
11:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like this, I didn't know. I don't
11:55
Speaker 1: think anything with fruit Like it was just weird to
11:58
Speaker 1: me to wear any patterns with fruit on it anyway,
12:00
Speaker 1: So I didn't, but it was not a thing that
12:03
Speaker 1: was in my head. Of course, we did the whole
12:05
Speaker 1: like tying the stem the cherry stem with your tongue, yeah,
12:09
Speaker 1: and that was supposed to be sexual somehow. Everything was
12:11
Speaker 1: sexual at that point if you're a teenager. So also
12:14
Speaker 1: we are going to talk about the hymen throughout. We're
12:18
Speaker 1: not necessarily looking at it through all of our conversation obviously,
12:22
Speaker 1: but it is a topic that we do want to address,
12:26
Speaker 1: and go ahead and put that term here, and let's
12:29
Speaker 1: go ahead and define it. Which hymen is the thin
12:31
Speaker 1: membrane that surrounds the opening of the vagina, and just
12:35
Speaker 1: for reference, it comes in all different shapes and it's
12:37
Speaker 1: different for every person and some people don't even have it.
12:40
Speaker 1: One statistic actually showed that it was one in one
12:43
Speaker 1: thousand women who didn't have one at all and never
12:46
Speaker 1: did have one. I would say those numbers are definitely
12:50
Speaker 1: just an estimation says you can't tell sometimes.
12:52
Speaker 3: So yeah, oh gosh, that was another like miss about that,
12:58
Speaker 3: which I know we're going to get into. But you know,
12:59
Speaker 3: if you right, you bit too hard, or if you masturbate,
13:02
Speaker 3: then you basically have, in quotes, the lost year of virginity.
13:07
Speaker 1: Right, And that was a concern. I believe that I
13:10
Speaker 1: asked my mom.
13:11
Speaker 3: That I was worried about it, and then now looking
13:14
Speaker 3: back and I'm like, I.
13:17
Speaker 2: Was worried about it. Yeah.
13:18
Speaker 1: Let's talk about some origins. The term first and foremost
13:22
Speaker 1: virginity or version actually came into play into the English
13:26
Speaker 1: language in the thirteenth century, and that was derived from
13:30
Speaker 1: the French word virgin, which was derived from the Latin virgo, which,
13:36
Speaker 1: according to the New World Encyclopedia dot com, was composed
13:39
Speaker 1: of ver meaning man or husband and y'all, my Latin's
13:43
Speaker 1: not good, So don't get at me, because when I
13:45
Speaker 1: was listening to it, it just sounded like mumbles and genre
13:49
Speaker 1: meaning created for.
13:50
Speaker 2: And by the way, apparently.
13:52
Speaker 1: Genre already had kind of a double meaning on it,
13:55
Speaker 1: which meant a female in nuptial subjection to a male.
13:59
Speaker 1: So when you put those together, yes, as we said
14:01
Speaker 1: in the Merriam Webster definition, this is very heavily leaning
14:04
Speaker 1: and putting on top of women in general and female
14:07
Speaker 1: in general.
14:08
Speaker 3: Right, but that is only the English introduction, and yes,
14:11
Speaker 3: yes it is very sexist. But the value of virginity
14:14
Speaker 3: as a concept has existed for a while now. In
14:18
Speaker 3: seventh century BCE, we have the Vestal Virgins, which was
14:22
Speaker 3: a part of a Roman religion that kept virgins as
14:25
Speaker 3: priestesses who tended the cult of Vesta, or the Goddess
14:28
Speaker 3: of the hearth. They were chosen between the ages of
14:30
Speaker 3: six to ten by the chief priest and served for
14:33
Speaker 3: thirty years. I was time they had to remain virgins
14:36
Speaker 3: throughout if they did not follow the rules and attend
14:39
Speaker 3: to their duties. They would be punished by beating, and
14:42
Speaker 3: if they gave up their chastity, they would be buried
14:45
Speaker 3: alive because apparently you can't spill bestal blood, which being
14:50
Speaker 3: buried alive.
14:51
Speaker 1: Is far worse.
14:52
Speaker 2: Not fine, That sounds so terrible.
14:55
Speaker 3: But if they follow the rules, they lived a pretty
14:58
Speaker 3: privileged life, more so than any other women who may
15:01
Speaker 3: have been married or even single. They were able to
15:04
Speaker 3: have and handle their own property, and they didn't have
15:07
Speaker 3: to follow the rules of their fathers or men. I
15:11
Speaker 3: guess not this priest guy aside, but right.
15:14
Speaker 1: Well, there was a chief Yeah, the chief priest was
15:16
Speaker 1: in charge of them alone. But when they were released,
15:18
Speaker 1: they were fraid to do what they wanted to do,
15:20
Speaker 1: right and including they could get married if they want to,
15:23
Speaker 1: but they didn't have.
15:24
Speaker 2: To, which sounds okay to me.
15:26
Speaker 1: And of course, there are so many legends and myths
15:29
Speaker 1: of sacrificing virgins to appease God's whether it's to calm storms,
15:33
Speaker 1: so they would throw virgins to the sea to calm
15:36
Speaker 1: that storm and hoping that they could survive and go
15:39
Speaker 1: through their passage or to avoid disasters. So you know,
15:42
Speaker 1: you've heard them many times where virgins were cast into
15:45
Speaker 1: volcanoes or you know, sacrifice at places in order to
15:49
Speaker 1: get good harvests, and that has been around for a while.
15:52
Speaker 1: There was another religion where they went ahead and buried
15:57
Speaker 1: virgins to protect theirs in their area and their community
16:02
Speaker 1: from disasters. So it was preemptive. There's that, and of
16:06
Speaker 1: course we have also the biblical references such as the
16:09
Speaker 1: miracle of the virgin birth Virgin Mary, who is idealized
16:13
Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, including being obviously Protestantism and
16:17
Speaker 1: Catholicism both clean to the Virgin Mary. But again we
16:22
Speaker 1: also have the whole like the virgin daughters as bries,
16:25
Speaker 1: giving away the prize of it all, the offering of
16:28
Speaker 1: the youngest the virgin two kings as gifts. We've seen
16:32
Speaker 1: that in biblical references. And within that also is the
16:36
Speaker 1: whore versus the virgin, who is the godly and who
16:38
Speaker 1: is the unclean, and how that goes, And we've seen
16:41
Speaker 1: that dichotomy within biblical references. So let's keep exploring this
16:47
Speaker 1: legend of virgidity.
16:50
Speaker 3: Yes, but I do want to point out that when
16:52
Speaker 3: we were talking about this, Samantha was like, yes, the
16:55
Speaker 3: virgin Mary and I was like our Shamisee Skywalker from
16:58
Speaker 3: Star Wars.
16:59
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I went biblical as she went Star Wars.
17:02
Speaker 4: So true.
17:21
Speaker 3: So the culture of virginity has had a lot of
17:24
Speaker 3: build up. When we talk about it today, there's a
17:27
Speaker 3: lot of emphasis placed on who is valued. Like just
17:30
Speaker 3: going through the examples just then you can see that
17:33
Speaker 3: value placed on people and what is their value. When
17:38
Speaker 3: talking about this value of virginity, the majority of the
17:41
Speaker 3: time we are linking this to women and linking it
17:45
Speaker 3: to women's values. Female virginity is often tied to honor,
17:49
Speaker 3: not only within the individual, but sometimes to family honor
17:53
Speaker 3: and family shame.
17:55
Speaker 1: Right, And we're not getting too deep into the cultural
17:58
Speaker 1: references because it is it is international when it comes
18:03
Speaker 1: to the concept of virginity, morality, purity, and the value
18:06
Speaker 1: of women based on that. But yeah, it is a
18:10
Speaker 1: note to know that it is shown differently in whether
18:14
Speaker 1: it's having autonomy with your body, autonomy and being able
18:18
Speaker 1: to choose your husband's or your family's future or how
18:22
Speaker 1: you want to do that. So that's something of note too,
18:24
Speaker 1: But we're not really getting into that in this episode.
18:27
Speaker 3: Yes, but we are getting into purity culture, which is
18:31
Speaker 3: something that is often intermixed, are interchangeable with this whole
18:34
Speaker 3: idea of virginity and its value.
18:37
Speaker 2: We are going to talk about that a bit more later.
18:41
Speaker 3: Yes, when we talk about virginity, we usually are placing
18:44
Speaker 3: the emphasis on women, but there is a similar parallel
18:47
Speaker 3: for men. Both are steeped with toxic masculinity. We recently
18:51
Speaker 3: talked about this on a Happy Hour, though the results
18:55
Speaker 3: are different. While we place a value in overall extreme
18:57
Speaker 3: opinion on women whether we call a virgin pure, are
19:01
Speaker 3: those who are no longer virgins whores or sluts. Men
19:06
Speaker 3: are seen as weak and not a man if they
19:09
Speaker 3: remain virgins. Men become the basis of the joke if
19:12
Speaker 3: they're virgins, stuff like forty year old virgin nerds. That
19:18
Speaker 3: doxicity also pushes into the idea of the more sex,
19:23
Speaker 3: the bigger the man, or the more madly he is
19:29
Speaker 3: as compared to women. For women, the bigger the sluts,
19:33
Speaker 3: the more sex that she's had, which also goes into
19:35
Speaker 3: the lines of this dangerous idea that men are sexual
19:38
Speaker 3: and therefore not responsible for their actions thinking with their
19:41
Speaker 3: dicks for example. Again, this is a very dangerous line
19:45
Speaker 3: of thought that allows for men to not take responsibility
19:49
Speaker 3: for their actions and again lays that responsibility on women,
19:52
Speaker 3: whether it's the idea that women may be.
19:54
Speaker 2: Tempting a man or owes them sex or both.
19:59
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, and it's a whole thing.
20:03
Speaker 3: We know this.
20:04
Speaker 1: We've talked about the level of toxicity rape culture and
20:07
Speaker 1: what that brings out, and yeah, we can't deny that
20:10
Speaker 1: this purity culture, this virginity culture, this absolute culture and
20:13
Speaker 1: basis and ideology has lent evidence to why this is
20:18
Speaker 1: so toxic and has like amplified rape culture because of that,
20:23
Speaker 1: and it's beyond dangerous and we should not we should
20:26
Speaker 1: always recognize that. I think that needs to be pointed
20:28
Speaker 1: out every time we talk about it. Yeah, because it
20:30
Speaker 1: is something that has put all women and I mean
20:33
Speaker 1: honestly all people in danger.
20:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think, like we're talking about kind of
20:40
Speaker 3: extremes here. But I think also it's frustrating because and
20:46
Speaker 3: this is very oversimplified generalization, but a lot of men
20:50
Speaker 3: that I know get angry at women for being like
20:54
Speaker 3: cold or closed off or playing hard to get whatever,
20:57
Speaker 3: because they have this idea that they are either owed
21:00
Speaker 3: sex or they need to have sex so that they're mainly,
21:05
Speaker 3: but women are being told, well, you have sex, there'res slut,
21:10
Speaker 3: and there's your value, and so it's like it doesn't
21:12
Speaker 3: even they're not compatible, they're not so if Again, it's
21:17
Speaker 3: such like a tricky thing to define, because I do
21:19
Speaker 3: think for some women maybe you would like to say,
21:24
Speaker 3: have more sex or.
21:27
Speaker 2: Not play this game.
21:29
Speaker 3: It's like hard to get but it doesn't feel safe
21:32
Speaker 3: or you feel like you will be judged for it.
21:34
Speaker 3: So it's just really frustrating because even on like a
21:36
Speaker 3: basic level, I feel like we're coming from in the
21:40
Speaker 3: very heteronormative but like very different scripts or ideas of
21:43
Speaker 3: what is going to impact us or make us look
21:46
Speaker 3: good or bad or write things like that.
21:48
Speaker 1: Right, and it's very dangerous. Yes, But before we actually
21:52
Speaker 1: come back to all that, because we are going to
21:54
Speaker 1: talk about this again when we talk about purity cultures,
21:56
Speaker 1: especially in Western civilization, we're going to talk up about
22:00
Speaker 1: some of the old school thoughts. One of some not
22:03
Speaker 1: so old school thoughts but started old school and it
22:06
Speaker 1: still remains and it's kind of scary. But one of
22:09
Speaker 1: the conversations that we've had through all throughout history, part
22:13
Speaker 1: of the myths of virginity is the virgin cures. So
22:18
Speaker 1: throughout history there continued to be a myth that traveled
22:21
Speaker 1: throughout the world of the idea that virgins could actually
22:25
Speaker 1: cure sdis The practice was first noted in Europe in
22:29
Speaker 1: the sixteenth century, but gained prominence in the nineteenth century
22:32
Speaker 1: Victorian England. And by the way, that's just again just noted,
22:36
Speaker 1: So it probably existed way before then, and we just
22:38
Speaker 1: don't know all of the we don't have all of
22:41
Speaker 1: those records. But it was also practiced in the US
22:44
Speaker 1: at the same time as it was being practiced in
22:46
Speaker 1: Victorian England, so it's not that far off. Many believe
22:50
Speaker 1: by having sex with a virgin they could be cured
22:52
Speaker 1: of sdis like syphilists and god Rhea, instead of realizing
22:56
Speaker 1: they're spreading it. Unfortunately, the continued mythology of this type
23:00
Speaker 1: of cure isn't just historical, but was practiced within the
23:03
Speaker 1: last twenty years. It was noted that in the early
23:06
Speaker 1: two thousands it was still being practiced as a cure
23:08
Speaker 1: for AIDS. According to UNICEBS, the culture based gender roles
23:11
Speaker 1: that prize in a sense of ignorance in girls and
23:14
Speaker 1: promoted this idea that men are sexually beings and have
23:17
Speaker 1: only perpetuated this type of myths that this is a
23:20
Speaker 1: cure and all you need to do is find a virgin,
23:23
Speaker 1: and not surprisingly, this practice caused a huge rise in
23:26
Speaker 1: sexual violence and a continued rape of asault of young
23:29
Speaker 1: girls and even infants in affected areas. There was a
23:33
Speaker 1: huge conversation about why this was occurring within the nineteenth
23:38
Speaker 1: century when it was happening in England and in New York,
23:40
Speaker 1: they were buying young children to get this practice, and
23:45
Speaker 1: it wasn't discouraged until a little while later, even though yeah,
23:49
Speaker 1: it's horrifying. But again, this kind of also is that
23:52
Speaker 1: conversation that we don't really get into, and we really
23:54
Speaker 1: do need to get to, probably be a part three
23:56
Speaker 1: of this episode, honestly, about what value of a virgin
24:00
Speaker 1: is when it comes to marginalized communities and how little
24:05
Speaker 1: they are looked upon in general anyway. So that kind
24:08
Speaker 1: of whole ideology that purity can only happen with white,
24:11
Speaker 1: heteronormative women, just white women in general, and that everybody
24:16
Speaker 1: else was already impure because they're not right. So that's
24:19
Speaker 1: that whole other and then class has everything to do
24:21
Speaker 1: with that as well. So there's that whole level of conversation.
24:24
Speaker 1: But because of that, in this type of gender based
24:26
Speaker 1: roles and this prize that this innocence can cure me,
24:31
Speaker 1: I can take that upon myself, which we've seen that
24:32
Speaker 1: as other ways. When we were talking about possible serial
24:36
Speaker 1: killer who bathed in virgin's blood, right, there is that
24:39
Speaker 1: conversation of this is that myth that has perpetuated really
24:44
Speaker 1: really dangerous and violent reactions.
24:46
Speaker 2: Yes, and then there's virgin disease.
24:49
Speaker 3: There was a time when apparently people believed that there
24:52
Speaker 3: was a specific disease that could only infect virgins, known
24:57
Speaker 3: as the disease of virgins in the sixteenth century. Treat
25:00
Speaker 3: This particular disease, which had vague symptoms of quote feeling faint, breathlessness,
25:04
Speaker 3: odd eating habits, were all attributed to the idea that
25:07
Speaker 3: they were infected because the blood within a person's body
25:10
Speaker 3: couldn't leave the body, and the cure blood letting, which
25:16
Speaker 3: is a go to at that time, but the better
25:21
Speaker 3: and more permanent solution was having sex, preferably married sex.
25:27
Speaker 3: According to the research at the time, quote sex would
25:30
Speaker 3: open up the body and move the retained blood around,
25:33
Speaker 3: and though by this time the idea that the hymen
25:36
Speaker 3: could be a tell of whether a woman was a
25:38
Speaker 3: virgin or not was dismissed. It was said that a
25:41
Speaker 3: virgin having sex would allow for the blood to go
25:43
Speaker 3: through quote internal mouths that would lead the blood to
25:47
Speaker 3: go into the womb. And it seemed some believed it
25:51
Speaker 3: wasn't necessarily that it was a disease of virgins, but
25:54
Speaker 3: a disease for those who hadn't had children yet, or
25:57
Speaker 3: at least could get it again if they did bear
26:00
Speaker 3: children at some point.
26:02
Speaker 1: Right, So this whole disease thing was such a weird context,
26:05
Speaker 1: and it became problematic because that meant when a girl
26:10
Speaker 1: started her period, she tried to get married immediately so
26:13
Speaker 1: as to not have this disease. And everybody was like,
26:17
Speaker 1: oh wait, although of course, looking back now younger brides
26:22
Speaker 1: were more accepted, but still kind of like, wait, wait,
26:25
Speaker 1: maybe we should calm down. And then some other symptoms
26:29
Speaker 1: of the disease of virgins, as they called it, included
26:31
Speaker 1: your skin turning and an unattractive hue quote unquote perhaps
26:36
Speaker 1: greenish or very pale, And apparently the sickness was actually
26:41
Speaker 1: also called green sickness because of that. But there's also
26:45
Speaker 1: a conversation that it could have been called green sickness
26:47
Speaker 1: because at that point in time, being green means that
26:49
Speaker 1: you were a virgin as well, so you weren't quite
26:52
Speaker 1: ripe yet. But yeah, it is a whole context, and
26:57
Speaker 1: it seems about the eighteenth century people would joe about
27:00
Speaker 1: this disease, so they've kind of got to the point
27:03
Speaker 1: they're like, this is of course, I have a feeling
27:05
Speaker 1: this is like a telltale, like the blue Balls telltale
27:08
Speaker 1: of what today. But there was a ballad about this
27:11
Speaker 1: disease called the Infield Common which talks about a lusty
27:14
Speaker 1: gallant who helps us save support virgin by helping to
27:18
Speaker 1: quote ease her and fully please her.
27:20
Speaker 2: Wow.
27:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I thought that was interesting and they needed
27:24
Speaker 1: to be a part of our discussion.
27:28
Speaker 3: Yeah, virgin disease, okay. And then there is virgin testing.
27:33
Speaker 3: I bet a lot of you have heard about this,
27:35
Speaker 3: with the value of virginity impurity being placed as this
27:40
Speaker 3: like really high commodity. Virginity testing is not a new thing,
27:45
Speaker 3: but it does still exist. In twenty nineteen, Wrappertei went
27:51
Speaker 3: on a podcast ragging about how he takes his teenage
27:54
Speaker 3: daughter to her gynecological appointment every birthday to make sure
27:58
Speaker 3: she is still a virgin.
28:00
Speaker 2: Obviously, that did not.
28:02
Speaker 3: Go over well for him, and many were very vocal
28:05
Speaker 3: about their disgust and even concerned for his daughter, who
28:09
Speaker 3: didn't make any comments at the time.
28:11
Speaker 2: Seemed to like a lot of the messages that were.
28:15
Speaker 3: Disapproving of his words in the ways he was treating
28:17
Speaker 3: his daughter. And also on your birthday.
28:20
Speaker 1: Right, so probably announced this after the fact that it
28:23
Speaker 1: was her eighteenth birthday, which is even freaking worse.
28:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that feels that feels like a fairy
28:29
Speaker 3: tale you would read when you're a kid, and then
28:31
Speaker 3: as you get an adult, you're like, this is messed up.
28:34
Speaker 1: Right, right, And of course since then there's been these
28:38
Speaker 1: allegations towards him and his wife, who was I believe
28:41
Speaker 1: the mother of the eighteen year old I can't remember,
28:44
Speaker 1: of a lot of sexual misconduct on themselves, And I'm like, huh,
28:48
Speaker 1: that's about right.
28:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, that surprising, And yeah, this virsion testing is not uncommon.
28:55
Speaker 3: In fact, the UN documented that at least twenty countries
28:58
Speaker 3: around the world were stillcticing virginity tests, including the US
29:03
Speaker 3: and twenty nineteen.
29:04
Speaker 1: Right, so, when Full of Project, a nonprofit that reports
29:07
Speaker 1: on global issues impacting women, and Marie Claire conducted an
29:10
Speaker 1: investigation in twenty nineteen. They found that several countries, including
29:14
Speaker 1: the US, were still getting requests for virginity tests to
29:17
Speaker 1: be completed on girls. These tests included the two finger
29:20
Speaker 1: tests that would examine the person's vagina to see if
29:23
Speaker 1: their hymen was still intact, and also instrumental with a
29:26
Speaker 1: speculum to actually observe and test to make sure that
29:30
Speaker 1: they still had it intact. The many who spoke of
29:33
Speaker 1: about these tests talked about how traumatic the overall experience was,
29:37
Speaker 1: as well as how damaging it was for them later
29:39
Speaker 1: on in life. One woman who was interview stated she
29:42
Speaker 1: felt it was rape by instrument and how she has
29:45
Speaker 1: been in therapy working on how to cope with the
29:47
Speaker 1: effects of the test. In our interview, she details her
29:50
Speaker 1: constant fear of not being loved or being judged or
29:53
Speaker 1: abused by the mother who forced her to have this
29:56
Speaker 1: test after finding out that she had a uni attract infection,
30:00
Speaker 1: which made her mother suspect that she'd lost her virginity
30:03
Speaker 1: quote unquote, and though the doctor stated that she was
30:06
Speaker 1: in fact still a virgin. She learned from then on
30:08
Speaker 1: that her virginity was her purity, was her value, and
30:12
Speaker 1: she stated it taught her to lie and keep quiet
30:14
Speaker 1: even after being molested and later raped, because she felt
30:17
Speaker 1: she was damaged and it was her faults as she
30:20
Speaker 1: was no longer pure. So that overall trauma that this
30:23
Speaker 1: woman experienced just from going back through that test was
30:27
Speaker 1: enough to shut her down.
30:29
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, and she is not the only one.
30:32
Speaker 3: There have been many anonymous groups and social platforms that
30:35
Speaker 3: have been sought out by a lot of women seeking
30:38
Speaker 3: support and for people to share their experiences, and many
30:43
Speaker 3: of these stories included things of our emotions of being
30:48
Speaker 3: terrified and ashamed and being held down by parents while
30:51
Speaker 3: a male gynecologist violated them. Yeah sounds extremely traumatic and
30:57
Speaker 3: all of this needless suffering for an ill conceived myth
31:01
Speaker 3: created in the fifteen hundreds by a man. But the
31:04
Speaker 3: sad truth is, although research has shown that these tests
31:07
Speaker 3: are not true indicators of whether a person with a
31:10
Speaker 3: vagina is a virgin or not, and as doctor Jennifer
31:13
Speaker 3: Gunther stated, anybody who perpetuates the idea that virginity has
31:17
Speaker 3: anything biological to do with it is incorrect and they
31:19
Speaker 3: should be toulsol virginity is a patriarchal social construct, so
31:24
Speaker 3: keep medicine out of it. But yeah, it's still present today.
31:28
Speaker 3: The WHO and the UN have called for a banning
31:31
Speaker 3: of the practice, and legislation has even been presented in California,
31:35
Speaker 3: New York to ban it. None of that has been successful.
31:40
Speaker 3: People still are pushing for it, but no results yet.
31:43
Speaker 1: But yeah, and honestly, people are still requesting as of
31:48
Speaker 1: it was factual, even though again and again and again
31:51
Speaker 1: people are disproving that this is even a thing. People
31:54
Speaker 1: are not listening, and yeah, are putting young girls through
31:57
Speaker 1: this horrible, horrible experience, it seems.
32:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that reminds me of I believe.
32:03
Speaker 3: I told the story before of the first time I
32:04
Speaker 3: went to the gynecologist and I was old, I was pregnant.
32:06
Speaker 3: I was like nope, and they're like, yep, and apparently
32:10
Speaker 3: the tests had come back positive. I had to take
32:12
Speaker 3: another test it came back positive. But that fear of
32:15
Speaker 3: that moment of like, because you believe, right, if a
32:18
Speaker 3: doctor's doing a medicine like you think, well then it's
32:24
Speaker 3: one true or not or whatever result they arrive at
32:28
Speaker 3: is the correct. But it's in my mind totally possible
32:33
Speaker 3: that someone who had never had sex might for some reason.
32:39
Speaker 2: The doctor will be like, yes, you have, and what
32:42
Speaker 2: can you do to prove them?
32:44
Speaker 3: And it shouldn't even matter, like it's it's so upsetting
32:46
Speaker 3: because it but for people who are getting this tests
32:51
Speaker 3: are making others get this test, and it does and
32:53
Speaker 3: it's just frustrating that it could be wrong and what
32:56
Speaker 3: can you do to prove otherwise.
32:59
Speaker 1: But we saw as this woman who talked about what
33:03
Speaker 1: she went with her mom, who was already abusive. This
33:07
Speaker 1: is exactly the type of conversation that he's to be happening, Like,
33:10
Speaker 1: you are not protecting that child, and typically they're supposed
33:13
Speaker 1: to have some privacy to protect them from things like this.
33:17
Speaker 1: And I remember specifically, I had a friend of mine
33:19
Speaker 1: who had been raped and she went in and when
33:24
Speaker 1: getting all these tests done, I think she's tested positive
33:27
Speaker 1: for an SDI and they told her and I think
33:30
Speaker 1: she was like I won't say she was pretty young,
33:32
Speaker 1: but she was fifteen sixteen, and her dad was present
33:36
Speaker 1: with her, and he started calling her a slut and
33:37
Speaker 1: started screaming at her, and I think he actually slapped
33:40
Speaker 1: her too. But things like that where it's problematic and
33:43
Speaker 1: trauma on top of a trauma. And I've seen that
33:45
Speaker 1: with kids that I've worked with who have been molested,
33:48
Speaker 1: and then they're calling her a slut, and I'm like.
33:50
Speaker 2: What what?
33:52
Speaker 1: Because again this whole level of purity and disgust and
33:55
Speaker 1: blaming young girls for this, and again, this is that
33:58
Speaker 1: toxicity that we talked about the beginning and why this
34:00
Speaker 1: is so concerning, and there's so many lies that people
34:06
Speaker 1: perpetuate in the sake of purity and speaking of myths
34:24
Speaker 1: and needless myths of virginity and purity. As I researched
34:28
Speaker 1: through all the different questions and theories of why people
34:31
Speaker 1: value women who are virgins, because I just could not understand.
34:34
Speaker 1: I was all into a recent whole of one man
34:37
Speaker 1: asking why it scenes he was only interested in women
34:39
Speaker 1: who were virgins, and yeah, let's go ahead and add
34:43
Speaker 1: the caveat here that they are speaking about the heteronormative
34:46
Speaker 1: definition of virgin vaginal penetration from venus. So he's like untouched,
34:50
Speaker 1: but who knows, because yeah, he seems like the the
34:54
Speaker 1: loophole kind of guy, uh, in which he adds a
34:58
Speaker 1: link to telugeny.
34:59
Speaker 3: Yes, and if you're curious what telegany is. The definition,
35:06
Speaker 3: according to Marian Webster, is the supposed carrying over of
35:10
Speaker 3: the influence of a sire to the offspring of subsequent
35:14
Speaker 3: matings of the dam with other males. In other words,
35:20
Speaker 3: the sperms of past partners will affect the fetus and
35:24
Speaker 3: inherent traits that are not of their biological father.
35:28
Speaker 2: Akaa.
35:29
Speaker 3: Paternity can be shared by multiple partners. Yes, I actually
35:34
Speaker 3: have heard of this, now that I know what definition.
35:38
Speaker 1: Well, that's the thing. Everybody knows what it is without
35:40
Speaker 1: the actual word, so or yeah, the theory rather and the.
35:45
Speaker 2: Ideas behind it.
35:46
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, yeah, this kind of goes
35:49
Speaker 1: into when we talk about the purity culture, the whole
35:52
Speaker 1: passing around of the lollipop that you share everyone's germs,
35:57
Speaker 1: right right, right, that's same concept.
36:00
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and it kind of reminds me of oh gosh,
36:03
Speaker 3: it's a theory of like why monogamy happened at all,
36:06
Speaker 3: And that's one of the theories is basically like men
36:11
Speaker 3: were very paranoid that they could be tricked into raising
36:17
Speaker 3: someone else's child, right, and so they wanted it to
36:20
Speaker 3: be like you've only been with me therefore, I know
36:23
Speaker 3: this is my child. And that's a very big oversimplification,
36:27
Speaker 3: right right, I remember reading about that. So, yeah, this
36:32
Speaker 3: idea originated all the way back with Aristotle, and it
36:36
Speaker 3: was a part of Greek mythology and the reason for
36:38
Speaker 3: the half god theseus who had.
36:40
Speaker 2: A mortal father and an immortal father.
36:44
Speaker 3: And though the theory was dismissed in the early twentieth century,
36:48
Speaker 3: apparently it's still floating around today as to why being
36:51
Speaker 3: pure and virginal is so important for a man to
36:54
Speaker 3: pick his chosen partner, Because, of course, yes, it's all
36:57
Speaker 3: about them choosing the perfect vessel to sire their offspring
37:01
Speaker 3: or offsprings.
37:02
Speaker 1: But yeah, obviously this is the most ridiculous thing I've
37:05
Speaker 1: heard in a long time, because you would think this
37:08
Speaker 1: would be common sense, but then you start thinking about
37:10
Speaker 1: flat earthers and Hugh conspiracy. He said, you're like, okay,
37:13
Speaker 1: never mind, never mind. But of course that brings us
37:18
Speaker 1: back to so how do we remain pure?
37:21
Speaker 2: Then?
37:22
Speaker 1: How do we remain virginal? And if we if we
37:25
Speaker 1: made a mistake, which you know happens, how do we
37:28
Speaker 1: come back to that?
37:28
Speaker 2: How do we regain our purity?
37:31
Speaker 1: And it's not surprising that there's so many articles and
37:34
Speaker 1: books that advise on how to remain pure, a virgin,
37:36
Speaker 1: or to be repurified revirginated, of course, whether it's procedures
37:40
Speaker 1: like horminoplasty, which is the cosmetic repair, restoration or reconstruction
37:44
Speaker 1: of a hymen, which is also be referred to as revirginization,
37:48
Speaker 1: which you said, and by the way, yes, this isn't
37:50
Speaker 1: a sex in the City episode any This is in
37:53
Speaker 1: the city because they talk about going back and becoming
37:59
Speaker 1: re virgin. Charlotte is very concerned that part of the
38:02
Speaker 1: reason that she's not married is because she has given
38:06
Speaker 1: it away too many times, as they put it, and
38:10
Speaker 1: so therefore that there are things that you can become reviginized,
38:14
Speaker 1: and for her that meant just not having sex agin
38:18
Speaker 1: but of course they did talk about that there was
38:19
Speaker 1: an option for surgery as well, because you know, they
38:21
Speaker 1: all talk about the options.
38:23
Speaker 2: They didn't do it.
38:24
Speaker 1: They didn't do it, but they did talk about it.
38:26
Speaker 1: And of course we have the legend of chastity belts
38:30
Speaker 1: or now church is teaching how to remain or ask
38:32
Speaker 1: to be pure, and there's quite a few options in
38:35
Speaker 1: trying to live up to the myth of purity, and yes,
38:38
Speaker 1: a lot of self help books, a lot of prayer groups,
38:41
Speaker 1: and a few surgeries. Horminoplasty or reviginization surgery is an
38:46
Speaker 1: option that allows for women to restitch a himen.
38:49
Speaker 2: So the procedure.
38:50
Speaker 1: If you don't want to know about this, go ahead
38:52
Speaker 1: and skip ten seconds in The procedure is an outpatient
38:56
Speaker 1: procedure which is simply cutting away of any torn skin
38:59
Speaker 1: on the edges quote edges of the hymen gently, after
39:03
Speaker 1: which the remaining tissue is stitched together, leaving a small opening.
39:09
Speaker 1: According to one health center that offers this procedure here
39:12
Speaker 1: in Georgia, it takes approximately six weeks to fully heal. Now,
39:16
Speaker 1: I think it's a long time to me, but apparently
39:18
Speaker 1: like you could go back to work to a couple
39:22
Speaker 1: of days afterwards, but you can't lift anything heavy, you
39:24
Speaker 1: can't do anything strenuous. I'm assuming you can't have sex
39:28
Speaker 1: the entire time. But yeah, that is the actual procedure,
39:32
Speaker 1: And that sounded really painful to me, because any kindecological
39:36
Speaker 1: appointment is really uncomfortable anyway.
39:38
Speaker 2: But I'm like, oh my god, what are you doing.
39:40
Speaker 1: They do use a numbing stuff on it, but they
39:43
Speaker 1: don't put you under or anything.
39:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, and there are so many other options for what
39:48
Speaker 3: is considered vaginal juvenation, and we could easily talk about
39:52
Speaker 3: those in another episode, including vaginoplasty.
39:56
Speaker 2: And labia plasty, which.
39:58
Speaker 3: We had we've talked about briefly in other episod but yeah,
40:00
Speaker 3: we're not gonna get in depths in this one. And
40:04
Speaker 3: of course there are different reasons someone may want the surgery,
40:07
Speaker 3: but we can't ignore the overall reason this is offered
40:10
Speaker 3: and how some women feel they have no other options
40:14
Speaker 3: but going down this fairly expensive road. There are different
40:17
Speaker 3: stories of women talking about wanting to be able to
40:19
Speaker 3: give their husbands or future husbands the security of thinking
40:22
Speaker 3: they are the only sexual partners they have been with
40:25
Speaker 3: and that they are still worthy of their love. There
40:29
Speaker 3: are also some who went down this route out of
40:32
Speaker 3: fear or trauma. Many of the sites advertising these services
40:36
Speaker 3: state that in the case of some rape victims quote,
40:40
Speaker 3: this surgical procedure may help to feel empowered or feel
40:43
Speaker 3: mentally peaceful. And again, yeah, not to reiterate, this is
40:48
Speaker 3: not scientifically proven at all, and we couldn't find research
40:51
Speaker 3: to verify this assumption. But yeah, wanted to put out
40:55
Speaker 3: there this mere myth of the hymen and its correlation
40:59
Speaker 3: has effect on many industries as an effect on many
41:04
Speaker 3: and industries do get this and they realize they can
41:06
Speaker 3: make money off of it.
41:07
Speaker 1: Right, so they want to be able to give that
41:10
Speaker 1: option out. Again, if that is something that happens to
41:14
Speaker 1: help someone, then that's wonderful. There's nothing wrong in doing
41:17
Speaker 1: what you need to recover from trauma. But again, I
41:21
Speaker 1: really I couldn't when I was looking things up. It
41:24
Speaker 1: was mainly about women in shame or women in fear
41:27
Speaker 1: being rejected more so than doing it for themselves.
41:31
Speaker 2: So yeah, like truly empowering.
41:34
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, but again not our choice to make.
41:38
Speaker 1: People can do what they want. But we're not going
41:41
Speaker 1: to sit here and say.
41:42
Speaker 2: There aren't issues.
41:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, and again we're not going to talk too much
41:46
Speaker 1: about it in this episode because I know Any is
41:49
Speaker 1: preparing an episode, so there's a Monday many I believe
41:53
Speaker 1: items like chastity belt has been a part of the
41:56
Speaker 1: myths of purity as well, though it seems the origination
42:00
Speaker 1: may have been a bad joke. The idea of an
42:03
Speaker 1: ironclad locked undergarment has been around since the Middle Ages
42:08
Speaker 1: and in the Late Middle Ages, the subject of chastity
42:10
Speaker 1: belts was a popular one for satirists, including paintings of
42:13
Speaker 1: women wearing nothing but a chastity belt bidding her husband
42:16
Speaker 1: a farewell while her lover he is waiting in the
42:21
Speaker 1: corner with a key for him to leave. So I
42:24
Speaker 1: thought that was kind of funny.
42:25
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, this is a huge joke.
42:27
Speaker 3: Yeap. The actual creation may have come from the Gothic
42:30
Speaker 3: Revival and was most likely made for museums and curiosity
42:33
Speaker 3: shows the tales of torture during the Dark Ages and
42:38
Speaker 3: most likely around not for use but largely anecdotal or
42:44
Speaker 3: in burlsk fiction.
42:46
Speaker 2: Yes you'll learn more soon, listeners.
42:48
Speaker 3: And speaking of learning more, it turns out that, yes,
42:52
Speaker 3: we had a lot to say, and we still have
42:55
Speaker 3: a lot more to say about virginity.
42:57
Speaker 2: But I think we're going to have to make it
42:59
Speaker 2: aso parter.
43:00
Speaker 1: I think you're right.
43:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, we've been riding the roller coaster and here we are.
43:05
Speaker 3: So this is the end of part one on our
43:09
Speaker 3: look in to virginity. In our next episode we're going
43:11
Speaker 3: to cover some.
43:12
Speaker 2: Christian ideologies around it.
43:14
Speaker 3: Other things like that, So you'll have to check it
43:17
Speaker 3: out to learn more. Yes, it's like a Sminty cliffhanger.
43:25
Speaker 3: In the meantime, if you would like to get in
43:27
Speaker 3: contact with us, you can, and we would love to
43:29
Speaker 3: hear from you. Our email is Stuffania mom Stuff at
43:32
Speaker 3: iheartmia dot com. You can find us on Twitter at
43:34
Speaker 3: mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram at stuff I've Never
43:36
Speaker 3: Told You. Thanks as always to our super producer Christina,
43:39
Speaker 3: thank you, and thanks to you for listening Stuff I
43:42
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