Latest / OneLegUpAlex Media / Adapting With Jeanne Beard ,Founder and CEO of the National Autism Academy 10-16-26 POWERED by Podmatch
Transcript
- 0:02Speaker 1: Here's your host, Alex Garrett.
- 0:07Speaker 2: All right, back here at One Leg Up Alex Media.
- 0:09Speaker 2: I got a very important conversation now. And also, I
- 0:13Speaker 2: should say on Adapting with Alex Garrett, it is Disability
- 0:17Speaker 2: Employment Awareness Month, so I'm sure we'll get to that
- 0:20Speaker 2: maybe in this segment with my next guest, Jeannie Beard.
- 0:24Speaker 3: Jeannie, first of all, thanks for joining me at One
- 0:27Speaker 3: Leg Up Alex Media.
- 0:28Speaker 1: You are?
- 0:29Speaker 3: The director at the National Academy of Autism. Thanks for
- 0:32Speaker 3: joining me.
- 0:33Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. Glad to be here.
- 0:36Speaker 2: The National Autism Academy, I was very intrigued by what
- 0:40Speaker 2: you do and how you've taken your experience as a
- 0:44Speaker 2: mom with kids with autism and turned it into a
- 0:47Speaker 2: role as founder and CEO. So first of all, the
- 0:52Speaker 2: journey as a mom, let's go there to start out
- 0:54Speaker 2: because obviously you start there and then you become the CEO.
- 0:57Speaker 3: So let's start at the very beginning.
- 1:00Speaker 1: Well, it started when one of my sons was in
- 1:05Speaker 1: first grade. I have three sons. My middle son, when
- 1:07Speaker 1: he went into first grade, his anxiety level was off
- 1:12Speaker 1: the charts. He would go to school with a nice
- 1:14Speaker 1: clean new t-shirt on and come home with it wet
- 1:17Speaker 1: to his belly button and all kinds of holes chewed
- 1:19Speaker 1: in it. And so he just wasn't able to manage
- 1:23Speaker 1: when he took the step up from kindergarten to first grade.
- 1:26Speaker 1: sitting in a desk, being around all those kids, having
- 1:30Speaker 1: things asked of him was very challenging for him and
- 1:34Speaker 1: it was causing him a great deal of anxiety. So we,
- 1:37Speaker 1: you know, we started like every other parent, is it
- 1:40Speaker 1: his hearing? Is he having a reading problem? Is he,
- 1:43Speaker 1: you know, we started checking off the boxes and finding
- 1:46Speaker 1: out that no, really it was anxiety. So at first
- 1:49Speaker 1: he was diagnosed with anxiety, then he was diagnosed with ADHD.
- 1:53Speaker 1: And then when he went into junior high school. And
- 1:58Speaker 1: that's the point, of course, where you go from having
- 2:00Speaker 1: one classroom and one desk to having a locker and
- 2:04Speaker 1: changing classrooms and different kids in the class. That level
- 2:10Speaker 1: of responsibility challenged him even further. And he started getting
- 2:14Speaker 1: in trouble. Kids were bullying him and he threatened them
- 2:20Speaker 1: and say, I'm going to kill you if you say
- 2:21Speaker 1: that to me again. And of course, zero tolerance. So
- 2:25Speaker 1: he was getting suspended and having all kinds of trouble.
- 2:28Speaker 1: This is a kid that I always knew was a
- 2:30Speaker 1: sweet kid. I mean, when he was little, if a
- 2:33Speaker 1: kid on the soccer field fell down, he'd stop to
- 2:36Speaker 1: help him up. So this was not a bad kid
- 2:39Speaker 1: or a mean kid. And the pieces didn't fit together
- 2:42Speaker 1: and I couldn't figure out what to do. We saw
- 2:44Speaker 1: therapist after therapist. We tried everything. We tried medication. We
- 2:49Speaker 1: tried so much. And then in 2006, we were introduced
- 2:55Speaker 1: to Dr. Tim Wahlberg, who is a clinical and child
- 2:59Speaker 1: psychologist in St. Charles, Illinois. And from the very first
- 3:04Speaker 1: time we saw him, life started getting better. I did
- 3:09Speaker 1: not understand how autism impacted the thinking of someone on
- 3:16Speaker 1: the spectrum. And as he was working with Kyle and
- 3:20Speaker 1: I was in every session, always there with him. And
- 3:23Speaker 1: then he would send Kyle out for the last 10
- 3:25Speaker 1: minutes and he would explain things to me and he
- 3:28Speaker 1: would explain how, uh, how the autism works and how it,
- 3:34Speaker 1: the linear nature of the brain neurology and how it,
- 3:38Speaker 1: how it, uh, creates specific thinking patterns and specific, uh,
- 3:43Speaker 1: ways of viewing the world. And the more I knew,
- 3:46Speaker 1: the more I wanted to know. So I said, well,
- 3:49Speaker 1: you know, give me a book. I need a book.
- 3:50Speaker 1: Can I? And he said, well, I'm trying to write
- 3:52Speaker 1: a book, but I I don't have time because he
- 3:55Speaker 1: was very busy. He's he sees kids. He sees like
- 3:58Speaker 1: 60 kids a week, 60 kids a week. That's a lot.
- 4:01Speaker 1: So anyway, I he had a stack of notes on
- 4:06Speaker 1: his desk and I said, let me have the notes.
- 4:07Speaker 1: I want to read them. No, no. For two months,
- 4:09Speaker 1: he said, no, no. Finally, I took them. And I
- 4:13Speaker 1: read them and I made an outline. And from there,
- 4:15Speaker 1: I started asking him questions and filling in the outline.
- 4:19Speaker 1: And eventually he published that as his book called Finding
- 4:22Speaker 1: the Gray. And as a result of that, I got
- 4:25Speaker 1: a first class education in the subtleties of autism. My
- 4:32Speaker 1: kids are higher functioning, all three of them. They all drive,
- 4:36Speaker 1: they all have jobs, they have romantic relationships, they live independently,
- 4:39Speaker 1: they can manage their own medications, They're all, you know,
- 4:44Speaker 1: they're grown adults now. They're 28, 30, and 33.
- 4:46Speaker 2: Well, I mean, as a mom who's been through it
- 4:49Speaker 2: with them, to just say that has to be very,
- 4:52Speaker 2: you know, proud of them for being able to be
- 4:54Speaker 2: independent like that.
- 4:56Speaker 1: It's rewarding. It's very rewarding. And I owe it all
- 4:59Speaker 1: to what I learned from Dr. Wahlberg, which is the
- 5:02Speaker 1: linear autism method. That's the name of his methodology, the
- 5:06Speaker 1: linear autism method.
- 5:08Speaker 3: Doctor's notes tend to... Sorry.
- 5:10Speaker 2: Go ahead. No, doctors don't tend to be very confusing.
- 5:14Speaker 2: So how are you able to, as it says on PodMatch,
- 5:16Speaker 2: translate it? Was it like in doctor speak and you
- 5:19Speaker 2: had to like research terms?
- 5:20Speaker 3: How did you do that?
- 5:23Speaker 1: It was actually transcripts from several talks that he gave.
- 5:28Speaker 1: And so there was enough. It was basic enough that
- 5:32Speaker 1: I could understand the fundamentals and But then I started
- 5:38Speaker 1: filling in the pieces from a parent's perspective. I didn't
- 5:41Speaker 1: put it down as a clinical perspective. It was from
- 5:44Speaker 1: a parent's perspective. And it was so helpful that from
- 5:48Speaker 1: the minute I began to understand my son, his anxiety
- 5:51Speaker 1: level decreased. I began to see the signs of autism
- 5:56Speaker 1: in other members of my family, my other two sons,
- 5:59Speaker 1: my ex-husband, my father, my brother. And I could see
- 6:03Speaker 1: that I have lived in a in a world where
- 6:09Speaker 1: most people were on the spectrum and we didn't know it.
- 6:13Speaker 2: And that's interesting because I'm sure that's generational, right? So
- 6:16Speaker 2: your father probably didn't want to get checked out. Your
- 6:18Speaker 2: brother didn't want to get checked out. I mean, that's
- 6:20Speaker 2: the only thing I want to ask you is parents
- 6:24Speaker 2: are afraid to get their kids checked out. So are
- 6:26Speaker 2: you seeing more rates of, all right, well, maybe he
- 6:29Speaker 2: has something we got to go to the doctor or
- 6:30Speaker 2: is there still a stigma to having your kid diagnosed
- 6:34Speaker 2: with autism?
- 6:35Speaker 1: There still is a stigma, which I'm trying to change
- 6:38Speaker 1: because autism is not bad or broken or sick or wrong.
- 6:42Speaker 1: It's different. It's a different way of processing, neurological processing.
- 6:47Speaker 1: And when you understand how it's different and how it
- 6:50Speaker 1: influences the thinking of the person with a different brain neurology,
- 6:55Speaker 1: everything changes. That takes it from being out of control
- 6:59Speaker 1: to being predictable. And life gets better because parenting a
- 7:04Speaker 1: child on the autism spectrum is a different experience than
- 7:07Speaker 1: parenting a child. That's not on the spectrum or having
- 7:10Speaker 1: a relationship with someone is different.
- 7:18Speaker 2: Jeannie tell me about the patients that you've had, uh, with,
- 7:22Speaker 2: I guess, because I'm sure that there were behaviors that
- 7:26Speaker 2: you didn't understand with your brother and your father.
- 7:29Speaker 3: And then translating with.
- 7:30Speaker 2: Your sons, I guess, at that point, you kind of
- 7:32Speaker 2: got the signs, but talk about your patient's level as
- 7:34Speaker 2: you went through all of this.
- 7:39Speaker 1: It was incredibly frustrating as a parent. It was incredibly
- 7:43Speaker 1: frustrating because, and still today, that was 2006. So it
- 7:46Speaker 1: was 20 years ago. Still today, there's a horrific lack
- 7:51Speaker 1: of education about autism in the professional space. kids, people
- 7:57Speaker 1: graduating with social work, masters in social work, only know
- 8:02Speaker 1: the very basics. They don't have the tools to really
- 8:06Speaker 1: support these, especially the high-functioning kids, to really support them
- 8:10Speaker 1: in becoming everything that they can be, in becoming independent
- 8:15Speaker 1: and in becoming able to function and be happy in
- 8:19Speaker 1: the world.
- 8:20Speaker 3: Wonderful.
- 8:21Speaker 1: So because of the lack of education, it's been incredibly frustrating.
- 8:25Speaker 1: It's still very difficult to find a therapist that knows
- 8:30Speaker 1: anything really about autism.
- 8:32Speaker 2: My cousin got herself diagnosed at a very later in
- 8:35Speaker 2: life age, and I'm sure it was a bit of
- 8:38Speaker 2: a shock to her, but she's been adjusting to it.
- 8:40Speaker 2: But I want to say, lack of attention, it can
- 8:45Speaker 2: be conflated with ADHD, but is that autistic as well,
- 8:48Speaker 2: or is there a big difference here?
- 8:52Speaker 1: I have heard clinical experts say that they think that
- 8:56Speaker 1: ADHD is basically, you know, like a really high functioning
- 9:01Speaker 1: form of autism. I know people don't like that word
- 9:03Speaker 1: high functioning anymore. But so most people, most parents, most
- 9:10Speaker 1: people that I talk to, their loved one on the
- 9:12Speaker 1: spectrum does display ADHD qualities. It's kind of part and
- 9:19Speaker 1: parcel with autism because the brain neurology is so caught
- 9:23Speaker 1: up in managing the information. For example, a kid in
- 9:30Speaker 1: a classroom might hear the buzzing of the lights, a
- 9:33Speaker 1: kid on the spectrum, and that could totally distract him.
- 9:36Speaker 1: One of my sons says he can hear the electricity
- 9:39Speaker 1: in the walls. And that neurological input becomes so distracting
- 9:45Speaker 1: that they... have very ADHD behaviors because they're so distracted.
- 9:54Speaker 2: We always have awareness months and awareness games and all
- 9:57Speaker 2: these different things for autism, but I feel like that's
- 9:59Speaker 2: never enough. Where does the National Autism Academy.
- 10:04Speaker 3: Come in and say. Well let's take this beyond an
- 10:07Speaker 3: awareness day. Let's keep. Bringing home the advocacy. You know
- 10:12Speaker 3: what I'm trying to say.
- 10:12Speaker 2: Let's keep driving home the point. Beyond just the different days.
- 10:16Speaker 1: It's all about education. Education. Because I can do therapy
- 10:21Speaker 1: with my kids. All of us as parents that have
- 10:23Speaker 1: kids on the spectrum can work with them and we
- 10:26Speaker 1: can bring them so far. But we may never be
- 10:29Speaker 1: able to teach them certain things like reading the context
- 10:33Speaker 1: of a room. That just doesn't come naturally to someone
- 10:36Speaker 1: on the spectrum. And some people can do it and
- 10:38Speaker 1: some people never will do it. So what we need
- 10:40Speaker 1: to do now is to educate the world around our
- 10:43Speaker 1: children with autism. We can bring them so far and
- 10:47Speaker 1: then the world needs to meet them where they are.
- 10:49Speaker 1: and accept their neurodiversity for what it is and not
- 10:54Speaker 1: have such a stigma about it and not say, oh, well,
- 10:57Speaker 1: there's something wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with any
- 11:00Speaker 1: of my sons. They're all awesome and they're wonderful people.
- 11:04Speaker 1: But when they go out into the world, usually the
- 11:08Speaker 1: autism shows first. And so people judge them or have
- 11:13Speaker 1: an opinion about them before they even give them a chance.
- 11:17Speaker 1: And so the real answer is education, education of the
- 11:21Speaker 1: masses and, and getting the word out.
- 11:25Speaker 3: Dr.
- 11:26Speaker 1: Wahlberg's methodology is, is so unique and it's so groundbreaking
- 11:33Speaker 1: and it, and it changes everything. That's why I do
- 11:37Speaker 1: what I do.
- 11:38Speaker 3: Gina, I want to ask you this.
- 11:40Speaker 2: I mean, there've been some high powered celebrities who probably
- 11:44Speaker 2: have autism. I mean, Elon, I'm thinking of, and, yet
- 11:47Speaker 2: they become brilliant business owners.
- 11:50Speaker 3: And it is Disability Employment Awareness Month.
- 11:53Speaker 2: So where can we change the narrative of, oh, look,
- 11:57Speaker 2: we're hiring this autistic kid to do something.
- 11:59Speaker 3: Like, why can't it just be, he has autism.
- 12:02Speaker 2: Autism, but he could still do it. Like, I wish
- 12:04Speaker 2: the narrative would change, especially during months like this.
- 12:08Speaker 1: Totally agree. I totally agree. I wish it would change too.
- 12:12Speaker 1: You know, my son, one of my sons always says,
- 12:16Speaker 1: I have to work twice as hard to get to
- 12:17Speaker 1: the starting line. So in other words, in order to
- 12:20Speaker 1: be on even footing with other people, he has to
- 12:23Speaker 1: work very hard to get there. But people with autism
- 12:26Speaker 1: make awesome employees. You need to, especially if you understand
- 12:31Speaker 1: how their mind works, you can, how do I say that?
- 12:35Speaker 1: I don't want to say take advantage or leverage, but
- 12:37Speaker 1: you can provide for them the type of work that
- 12:41Speaker 1: is suitable to them and that makes them happy and
- 12:43Speaker 1: that feels good to them. and they do an awesome job.
- 12:47Speaker 1: Most of them are very routine-driven, so they're dependable. Many
- 12:57Speaker 1: of them are incredibly bright, off the charts, like Elon Musk,
- 13:01Speaker 1: off the charts bright. Bill Gates, another one who's off
- 13:05Speaker 1: the charts smart. And they can be very successful when
- 13:09Speaker 1: the world around them doesn't prejudge them. I can appreciate
- 13:16Speaker 1: your message. That would be the same message I would
- 13:19Speaker 1: want to share.
- 13:20Speaker 2: I find that kids today and all that, and even
- 13:24Speaker 2: in just regular speak, people say on the subways or
- 13:28Speaker 2: all that, oh, or even online, just the word tisming
- 13:32Speaker 2: is like a big phrase now. Is that offensive to
- 13:35Speaker 2: you that like any weird behavior is known as now tisming?
- 13:38Speaker 3: Is that weird to you or offensive?
- 13:42Speaker 1: A little bit, a little bit, because I think it's
- 13:48Speaker 1: indicative of an ignorant personality. It's someone who doesn't know
- 13:57Speaker 1: what it's like to live with someone on the autism spectrum,
- 14:01Speaker 1: someone who doesn't know what it takes to have a relationship,
- 14:06Speaker 1: what it takes to raise a child that's functional and
- 14:09Speaker 1: happy and able to manage life. And, and so that
- 14:12Speaker 1: can be really frustrating to me.
- 14:14Speaker 2: Um, but also socially they've got, they've gotten rid of
- 14:17Speaker 2: the word, the R word, right? We used to just
- 14:19Speaker 2: every throw a word around the R word, but I
- 14:21Speaker 2: feel like it's good.
- 14:23Speaker 3: We've gotten rid of that word, right?
- 14:25Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. Anytime, anything we can do to, to normalize,
- 14:32Speaker 1: I hate to even use the word normal, but to,
- 14:35Speaker 1: to make, to, to create better understanding. so that individuals
- 14:39Speaker 1: on the autism spectrum can be appreciated for the incredible
- 14:42Speaker 1: minds they have instead of judged or boxed into a
- 14:48Speaker 1: corner somehow. And I see it over and over and
- 14:52Speaker 1: over again. They have social difficulties that keep them from
- 14:59Speaker 1: growing in their careers, which is unfortunate because if the
- 15:02Speaker 1: people around them, surrounding them understood that their social skills
- 15:08Speaker 1: and their social abilities are different, that they're logical and
- 15:13Speaker 1: they're not judging, basing the world and their decisions on
- 15:17Speaker 1: the same social information that the rest of us are.
- 15:21Speaker 1: When the world understands that, we can work with them
- 15:25Speaker 1: in a way that is more helpful. Let me give
- 15:27Speaker 1: you an example. In school, in high school, if you
- 15:32Speaker 1: were in math class and your math teacher said, get
- 15:34Speaker 1: your book out and open it to page 50. Most
- 15:38Speaker 1: of the kids will do it, but a kid on
- 15:40Speaker 1: the spectrum might go, I don't want to do math.
- 15:42Speaker 1: I don't like math. I don't like you. Why would
- 15:44Speaker 1: I do that? The difference is the kids that are
- 15:47Speaker 1: not on the spectrum are thinking, I don't want the
- 15:49Speaker 1: teacher to get mad. I don't want to get in trouble.
- 15:52Speaker 1: I don't want to go to the principal. Don't want
- 15:53Speaker 1: my mom to ground me because I got kicked out
- 15:55Speaker 1: of class. Those are all social motivations. And my sons
- 16:02Speaker 1: are thinking, I hate math. I don't want to do this.
- 16:04Speaker 1: Why should I have to do something I don't like?
- 16:07Speaker 1: And that's, it's very linear thinking. It's very non-social. And
- 16:13Speaker 1: that is what's the root of their behavior. But when
- 16:16Speaker 1: you understand that as a teacher, if I was the
- 16:19Speaker 1: teacher in that classroom, I could say to my son,
- 16:21Speaker 1: you know, Kyle, if you do your math problems, if
- 16:24Speaker 1: you get half of them done before the end of class,
- 16:27Speaker 1: the last 10 minutes, you can play your video game,
- 16:31Speaker 1: play with your video game. Now he's got a reason
- 16:33Speaker 1: that makes sense to him. Okay, I want to play
- 16:35Speaker 1: my video game, so I'll do what I have to
- 16:37Speaker 1: do in order to get my video game. But that's
- 16:39Speaker 1: because his motivation is different. It's not social. And that
- 16:44Speaker 1: has to do with the way his brain has developed,
- 16:47Speaker 1: the linear nature of his mind. And you can work
- 16:51Speaker 1: with that and you can actually support the individual in
- 16:56Speaker 1: being successful without... demanding that they see the world the
- 17:02Speaker 1: same way that the rest of us see it.
- 17:04Speaker 2: When you say linear, I kind of think of like, okay,
- 17:08Speaker 2: and my brain sees an inconsistency. I'm going to go
- 17:10Speaker 2: after that and try and correct that inconsistency or something
- 17:13Speaker 2: like that.
- 17:14Speaker 3: Is that what you're referring to?
- 17:15Speaker 2: That we, that people with autism and even ADHD, we
- 17:18Speaker 2: love consistency.
- 17:21Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And Temple Grandin is the one who
- 17:26Speaker 1: talks a lot about the linear nature of the brain.
- 17:29Speaker 1: She says, um, when she hears the word dog, she,
- 17:33Speaker 1: one picture comes to her mind. It's linear. It just,
- 17:36Speaker 1: she goes right to one picture, one thought. When I
- 17:39Speaker 1: hear the word dog, I think my dogs, I think
- 17:42Speaker 1: my dog's barking. I need to get dog food. I,
- 17:45Speaker 1: you know, I can have 30 thoughts around my dog. Um,
- 17:49Speaker 1: but that's because my mind is able to, is not linear.
- 17:53Speaker 1: It's able to be abstract and to, uh, take in
- 17:57Speaker 1: a lot of abstract information all at one time. Someone
- 18:01Speaker 1: on the spectrum, their brain doesn't work that way. It's
- 18:03Speaker 1: not broken. It doesn't need to be fixed, but if
- 18:06Speaker 1: it's understood, the person can be supported and be successful.
- 18:12Speaker 2: And you say that at the same time, I feel
- 18:14Speaker 2: like we've seen instances of like autistic people remembering everything
- 18:20Speaker 2: under the sun. So how does that work if they're linear,
- 18:22Speaker 2: but they also have a great memory and can just
- 18:25Speaker 2: bring out or spit out any facts, you know, that
- 18:27Speaker 2: come to mind.
- 18:28Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, they, they are, they are incredibly bright and
- 18:31Speaker 1: they can, they can, any fact that's important to them,
- 18:35Speaker 1: they can remember it forever. You know, they can go
- 18:40Speaker 1: into a room and one thing can be moved out
- 18:43Speaker 1: of place and they can say, you were in my room,
- 18:45Speaker 1: you know, I go in and pick up my son's
- 18:48Speaker 1: room and I take the markers that were on the
- 18:50Speaker 1: table and put them on the, in a cup and
- 18:52Speaker 1: you'll say, you moved all the markers in my room.
- 18:56Speaker 1: They have very, very good minds and most of them
- 19:00Speaker 1: are incredibly bright. And there is no direct correlation between
- 19:06Speaker 1: intelligence and autism. So it's not like someone with autism
- 19:09Speaker 1: has a certain level IQ. There are many that are
- 19:14Speaker 1: very bright and think outside the box as history has shown,
- 19:19Speaker 1: but there are also people who have cognitive difficulties and
- 19:25Speaker 1: have lower IQs. And there's plenty of help for those people.
- 19:29Speaker 1: Those are the kids that struggle from the very beginning.
- 19:36Speaker 1: And there's a lot of support for people who are
- 19:39Speaker 1: impacted greatly by autism. It's this new growing population, like
- 19:44Speaker 1: your sister, who gets diagnosed late in life. That's where
- 19:49Speaker 1: we help. That's what the National Autism Academy focuses on
- 19:53Speaker 1: is helping people who are flying under the radar, living
- 19:58Speaker 1: in mainstream society and struggling or suffering or hurting or confused.
- 20:05Speaker 1: Those are the people that we're helping.
- 20:08Speaker 3: I see a couple of interesting things here.
- 20:10Speaker 2: Normally I don't script my questions because I like the
- 20:12Speaker 2: flowing combo, but there are a couple of things I
- 20:15Speaker 2: really am intrigued by. One of them is about the
- 20:20Speaker 2: homeless population. Are we raising a generation of homeless people?
- 20:26Speaker 2: Is that to say those with autism end up homeless?
- 20:28Speaker 2: What are you trying to get across with that question?
- 20:32Speaker 1: Yeah, I have. I have said that many times that
- 20:36Speaker 1: sometimes I think we're raising a generation of homeless people.
- 20:39Speaker 1: And what that means is if the world around our
- 20:42Speaker 1: children don't understand them and support them, when the parents
- 20:46Speaker 1: like me are gone, they may not have the kind
- 20:49Speaker 1: of support that they need to be able to be
- 20:52Speaker 1: functional enough to manage a household, a family. You know,
- 20:56Speaker 1: a lot of people on the spectrum don't drive or
- 20:59Speaker 1: don't drive till much later. My None of my sons
- 21:01Speaker 1: got their driver's license until their early 20s because they
- 21:06Speaker 1: just didn't, they weren't ready. They couldn't deal with it. So,
- 21:11Speaker 1: you know, certainly I'm not saying autism is the cause
- 21:15Speaker 1: of homelessness. I'm saying that homelessness could be the result
- 21:19Speaker 1: of not having the proper support. And unless we do,
- 21:24Speaker 1: unless we work on it now, 20 years from now,
- 21:27Speaker 1: it's going to become a bigger problem.
- 21:30Speaker 2: I want to ask you about the behaviors that each
- 21:32Speaker 2: of your sons, so you had your first son, then
- 21:36Speaker 2: when did you recognize in your second son and your
- 21:38Speaker 2: third son?
- 21:39Speaker 3: Like, well, what behavior showed up in the other, in
- 21:41Speaker 3: the others?
- 21:42Speaker 1: The more I learned, the, the easier it was to
- 21:46Speaker 1: see my youngest son, who's 28 now is a very
- 21:50Speaker 1: high functioning, but he still, he melts down. His anxiety
- 21:54Speaker 1: overwhelms him and he melts out and he'll, he'll be
- 21:57Speaker 1: banging his head on the floor. And, you know, and, and,
- 22:00Speaker 1: if anyone met him, they would never know he's on
- 22:02Speaker 1: the spectrum. You never know, but certain things I can
- 22:06Speaker 1: see that he is, he's fighting to compensate. He's always
- 22:10Speaker 1: mad at the world. Anger is a very, um, the,
- 22:14Speaker 1: the most highly developed emotion, according to Dr. Wahlberg of
- 22:18Speaker 1: that people on the spectrum experience because the world never
- 22:22Speaker 1: goes the way they think it should. You know, it, it, it,
- 22:25Speaker 1: it's never perfect. Right. So, um, I, you know, I
- 22:30Speaker 1: can see meltdowns in my younger son, my oldest son
- 22:35Speaker 1: who recently moved. I I'm in Chicago. He's, he recently
- 22:41Speaker 1: moved to Tacoma, Washington and he, he moved back home
- 22:47Speaker 1: after he was out in the world for a while himself.
- 22:49Speaker 1: He moved back home and he lived at home for
- 22:51Speaker 1: six years. And one day a, um, uh, U-Haul pulled
- 22:57Speaker 1: up in front of the house and my youngest son
- 22:59Speaker 1: said to me, mom, what's the U-Haul for? I said,
- 23:01Speaker 1: I don't know. Someone in the neighborhood must be moving.
- 23:04Speaker 1: There was someone in the neighborhood. It was my son,
- 23:06Speaker 1: but he had made all these plans to move across
- 23:09Speaker 1: the country and didn't talk to me about it. That
- 23:14Speaker 1: would be a behavior that would upset most parents, but
- 23:17Speaker 1: I took it in stride because I understand what the
- 23:22Speaker 1: motivation was, what the, what the what the reason behind
- 23:26Speaker 1: it was. So it, it changes everything when you understand
- 23:32Speaker 1: he's not thinking socially, a social kid would say, I
- 23:35Speaker 1: got to talk to my mom. You know, she's going
- 23:36Speaker 1: to be upset. I better talk to her and explain
- 23:39Speaker 1: and make sure she knows and give her time. But
- 23:42Speaker 1: that none of that occurred to him because that's not
- 23:44Speaker 1: how his mind works. So I see, you know, I mean, I,
- 23:48Speaker 1: I see different behaviors in all of them. They all
- 23:51Speaker 1: have some sensory issues. Um, my oldest son is, is smell. My, uh,
- 23:58Speaker 1: middle son is mostly, um, sounds and, and my youngest son,
- 24:03Speaker 1: he doesn't have as much, um, sensory issues, but he's
- 24:08Speaker 1: always hot or too, too hot or too cold or,
- 24:12Speaker 1: you know, or, um, you know, wants to take a shower.
- 24:16Speaker 1: I mean, he likes to be clean and, you know, so, um,
- 24:21Speaker 1: it's different and it changes from day to day too.
- 24:23Speaker 1: You know, that's one of the things that's so confounding
- 24:27Speaker 1: about the whole thing is that it's very elusive. It
- 24:31Speaker 1: can be.
- 24:32Speaker 2: So with this Academy you have and learning all the signs,
- 24:37Speaker 2: are you feeling like, cause you've mentioned generations after, you know,
- 24:40Speaker 2: us after you, are you feeling like you're setting up.
- 24:45Speaker 3: The kids of today?
- 24:47Speaker 2: The right way through this Academy and the parents of
- 24:49Speaker 2: today with, with the kids with autism?
- 24:51Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't work with directly with any children, um,
- 24:55Speaker 1: because my expertise is in being a parent and being
- 25:01Speaker 1: in relationship with people. And I, I wrote a book.
- 25:04Speaker 1: I don't know if you know, autism and the rest
- 25:06Speaker 1: of us, which is, uh, you can get it on Amazon.
- 25:09Speaker 1: But it's really, in my opinion, the quintessential description of
- 25:13Speaker 1: what it means to be in a relationship with someone
- 25:16Speaker 1: on the autism spectrum. And, you know, I am doing
- 25:24Speaker 1: what I can to change the world around my children,
- 25:27Speaker 1: to educate people and to create the understanding for them
- 25:32Speaker 1: that will allow them to reach their highest level of success.
- 25:38Speaker 1: That's the mission.
- 25:40Speaker 3: I absolutely love that. And I love the time we've
- 25:42Speaker 3: had today. I feel like we can go on and on.
- 25:44Speaker 2: But for those who may not have caught on earlier
- 25:47Speaker 2: about the linear autism method itself, explain it in layman's terms,
- 25:52Speaker 2: I guess. Is it just there so if you're a
- 25:58Speaker 2: parent and you see the signs, don't be in denial,
- 26:00Speaker 2: get it addressed right away type of thing?
- 26:05Speaker 1: The linear autism method is a tool that helps. It
- 26:10Speaker 1: helps my children because they understand it. It helps them
- 26:13Speaker 1: understand their own thinking. And they instinctively know that they
- 26:19Speaker 1: don't think in social abstract terms. And so, for example,
- 26:25Speaker 1: if I say to one of my sons, what do
- 26:26Speaker 1: you want for dinner? Their way to self-advocate is to say,
- 26:31Speaker 1: what are my choices? Because that abstract question is too
- 26:34Speaker 1: big for them. They can't Their mind is very linear.
- 26:38Speaker 1: So if I say, do you want spaghetti or chicken?
- 26:41Speaker 1: They can say, I want spaghetti or I want chicken.
- 26:44Speaker 1: But if I say, what do you want for dinner?
- 26:45Speaker 1: It's too big a question. So I have learned to
- 26:51Speaker 1: tailor the questions to help them become more successful. And
- 26:55Speaker 1: if I can teach that to the rest of the world,
- 26:58Speaker 1: that one thing, everything will get easier for them. They
- 27:01Speaker 1: will not be ridiculed for being for not responding to something.
- 27:08Speaker 2: Jeannie, you sound very stoic now, but have you had
- 27:11Speaker 2: the meltdowns of your own dealing with this over, I
- 27:14Speaker 2: believe the last, what, 18, 20 years or so?
- 27:17Speaker 3: Yeah, of course.
- 27:19Speaker 1: Of course. I mean, I, that's one of the reasons
- 27:22Speaker 1: I love working with parents because I can say when I,
- 27:25Speaker 1: you know, my experience is this and they go, how'd
- 27:28Speaker 1: you know? I think that, you know, my experience, When
- 27:32Speaker 1: I first was dealing with this, I thought my kids
- 27:34Speaker 1: will never be able to live independently. I thought they're
- 27:37Speaker 1: going to end up living under a bridge. That's always
- 27:40Speaker 1: where my mind went, right from they can't keep their
- 27:44Speaker 1: room clean to they're going to live under a bridge.
- 27:46Speaker 1: Because I was so afraid that I would let them
- 27:50Speaker 1: down as a parent and not train them the way
- 27:54Speaker 1: they needed to be trained. And I was doing it
- 27:56Speaker 1: not correctly. when I was trying to use traditional parenting strategies.
- 28:02Speaker 1: Traditional parenting strategies don't work with the kid on the spectrum,
- 28:07Speaker 1: or at least they're not as effective as they could be.
- 28:10Speaker 1: They create anger, hostility, frustration, meltdowns, difficulties, refusal to do things.
- 28:17Speaker 1: And when you work with the linear autism method, you
- 28:21Speaker 1: understand we have seven specific thinking patterns. For example, one
- 28:25Speaker 1: is black and white thinking. And when you see an
- 28:28Speaker 1: extreme swing in behavior, you know that the black and
- 28:32Speaker 1: white thinking is going and you can say, wait a minute,
- 28:34Speaker 1: wait a minute. It's not all or not at all.
- 28:35Speaker 1: Here are some options in the middle and you can
- 28:38Speaker 1: support them in create, actually creating more neuroplasticity by giving
- 28:44Speaker 1: them other options because they're linear. They're either, it's either,
- 28:47Speaker 1: is it on or is it off? Is it yes
- 28:50Speaker 1: or is it no? And maybe doesn't compute. So, so we,
- 28:55Speaker 1: can learn to teach our children with autism the maybes
- 29:00Speaker 1: in the world, the in-betweens. And that makes them more functional,
- 29:05Speaker 1: more able to perform in a job situation, more able
- 29:09Speaker 1: to drive a car, do a banking transaction, order in
- 29:13Speaker 1: a restaurant. These are all social activities that require social skills.
- 29:20Speaker 2: Tell me about, are the three boys married with kids?
- 29:25Speaker 2: Dating now, what's their dating lives been since all of this?
- 29:29Speaker 1: One is engaged. Just got my older son, who lives
- 29:32Speaker 1: in Washington, just got engaged in April. My youngest son lives...
- 29:40Speaker 1: with his significant other his girlfriend and they just bought
- 29:44Speaker 1: a house and they're there he's 28 and he's a
- 29:48Speaker 1: homeowner already and my middle son lives in an apartment
- 29:53Speaker 1: that is attached to my house and He lives independently.
- 29:56Speaker 1: He's an overnight supervisor in a drugstore. So he holds
- 30:03Speaker 1: a job, manages his own money, manages his own medication,
- 30:08Speaker 1: gets himself showered and dressed enough to work every day
- 30:10Speaker 1: on time. He's a great employee. He's been there for,
- 30:13Speaker 1: I think, seven years now, going on seven years. And
- 30:18Speaker 1: he's saving for his retirement. And I see him maybe
- 30:25Speaker 1: sometimes once a day, sometimes not at all. But a
- 30:28Speaker 1: lot of times I'll get a call, mom, what's for dinner? So,
- 30:31Speaker 1: you know, he still likes to take advantage of being
- 30:35Speaker 1: close enough that he can have dinner with me. So
- 30:39Speaker 1: that's our biggest share point right now.
- 30:42Speaker 2: That's great. They're on their own and they have their lives.
- 30:45Speaker 2: That's amazing. And it gives hope, right? So if someone
- 30:49Speaker 2: with autism is watching this, and they don't know the adaptations,
- 30:54Speaker 2: what would you advise them? Like what adaptations have you
- 30:58Speaker 2: seen your kids make that you can pass on to
- 31:01Speaker 2: others and say, yeah, here's what my kids did.
- 31:03Speaker 3: Here's what I want you to do.
- 31:07Speaker 1: Really, it's been about understanding those seven thinking patterns and
- 31:12Speaker 1: being able to manage them in the moment. So it's
- 31:17Speaker 1: recognizing the neurodiversity, recognizing the difference, and then being willing
- 31:22Speaker 1: to make a little bit of adjustment. I'm not saying
- 31:25Speaker 1: stop being who you are, but be who you are
- 31:31Speaker 1: with the understanding that people around you may not get it.
- 31:35Speaker 1: And then you can explain it to them. And that
- 31:38Speaker 1: makes all the difference. That makes all the difference. So
- 31:41Speaker 1: it starts with acceptance and the recognition.
- 31:44Speaker 2: That- And it almost sounds like self-acceptance too, because I
- 31:47Speaker 2: find that people who have a disability of any kind
- 31:50Speaker 2: it's very tough for themselves to accept themselves. And that's
- 31:53Speaker 2: why it's hard to show because like, there's so many
- 31:55Speaker 2: out there who are adapting to something.
- 31:58Speaker 3: If they hear stories, they'll be able to do it easier.
- 32:01Speaker 3: Cause like, Hey, I'm not alone in this.
- 32:04Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. It is about self-acceptance and it's about helping
- 32:08Speaker 1: the world understand that autism is not bad or broken
- 32:12Speaker 1: or sick or wrong. I, I, our, our government talks
- 32:16Speaker 1: about it like it's something that has to be cured.
- 32:18Speaker 1: I don't think it's something that has to be cured.
- 32:20Speaker 1: I think it's something that has to be understood. There's
- 32:23Speaker 1: nothing wrong with the way my kids think. It's just different.
- 32:27Speaker 1: And that makes them like, it's like they're left-handed in
- 32:31Speaker 1: a right-handed world, you know? So they need to adapt.
- 32:36Speaker 2: I feel like you're very blessed that they are very
- 32:38Speaker 2: high functioning because there are some that are not. And
- 32:41Speaker 2: how do you work with those parents that maybe have
- 32:44Speaker 2: a kid that's nonverbal for a very long time? Or-
- 32:48Speaker 2: That does get aggressive, you know, because they don't have
- 32:50Speaker 2: that thing to like, I don't know if the words
- 32:53Speaker 2: calm down or whatever you want to say, but they
- 32:55Speaker 2: get aggressive. They start hitting back and all that. What's
- 32:58Speaker 2: your message to those parents?
- 33:01Speaker 1: It's the same message. Learn to understand how their mind
- 33:04Speaker 1: works because when they feel understood, they're less frustrated. They're
- 33:08Speaker 1: less angry. They're more able to comply with requests. You're
- 33:14Speaker 1: able to communicate with them in a way that they
- 33:16Speaker 1: understand the requests. I heard one psychiatrist in some article
- 33:22Speaker 1: I read, he said that the number one cause of
- 33:25Speaker 1: anxiety and frustration in individuals with neurodiversity is that they
- 33:29Speaker 1: don't know what's expected of them in the moment. And
- 33:33Speaker 1: I see that play out over and over again with
- 33:36Speaker 1: my kids. One of my sons calls me three times
- 33:39Speaker 1: a day. Mom, this happened. What does that mean? How
- 33:41Speaker 1: do I deal with that? And now as an adult,
- 33:45Speaker 1: he's becoming more able to manage it. but um yeah
- 33:49Speaker 1: i if they if you can understand those thinking patterns
- 33:53Speaker 1: you can learn to navigate the world with your autism
- 34:00Speaker 1: rather than fight against the way you think and we're
- 34:03Speaker 1: not trying to change the way anyone thinks we're trying
- 34:05Speaker 1: to understand it so we can adapt around them that makes.
- 34:09Speaker 2: Sense it does because i still try to understand my
- 34:12Speaker 2: own things like if terminology doesn't make sense, I've never
- 34:17Speaker 2: been diagnosed with anything really.
- 34:19Speaker 3: I've always unofficially diagnosed.
- 34:20Speaker 2: Myself with ADHD, but if terminology feels off to us,
- 34:25Speaker 2: like if something's worded a certain way, why does that
- 34:28Speaker 2: bother me so much?
- 34:29Speaker 3: Like I'm kind of leaning in here because I want
- 34:31Speaker 3: to figure out why that might be.
- 34:34Speaker 1: Well, because you don't understand it then, right? You don't,
- 34:38Speaker 1: it's an uncertainty and that uncertainty is, is, can be
- 34:42Speaker 1: very unsettling for all of us, not just for people
- 34:44Speaker 1: on the spectrum, for everyone. If you don't know what's
- 34:47Speaker 1: going on, it's frightening. And you don't know how to respond.
- 34:51Speaker 1: And half the time when you do respond, you know,
- 34:55Speaker 1: someone saying, you can't do that, or you can't say that,
- 34:58Speaker 1: or that's wrong, that behavior is wrong. You know how
- 35:00Speaker 1: often kids on the spectrum get punished and corrected, especially
- 35:06Speaker 1: before the parents understand how their mind works. You know,
- 35:10Speaker 1: I mean, You asked me a little bit ago, and
- 35:18Speaker 1: I just wanted to reinforce that the net outcome of
- 35:24Speaker 1: learning the linear autism method is that everyone's stress level
- 35:30Speaker 1: goes down. Everyone's anxiety level goes down. Everyone seems to
- 35:37Speaker 1: be more comfortable in their own skin. And that's... That's everything.
- 35:48Speaker 1: You're muted. Interesting.
- 35:50Speaker 3: Well, this has been fascinating. And I'm going.
- 35:51Speaker 2: To share out your link. It's called LinearAutismMethod.com. LinearAutismMethod.com. And
- 36:00Speaker 2: I'd love to have you on more as there's more progress,
- 36:03Speaker 2: you know, more. There is Awareness Month. There is different
- 36:06Speaker 2: things I'm sure you're up to and projects you're doing.
- 36:09Speaker 2: So I'd love to have you back on and tell
- 36:11Speaker 2: us more what's going on at the National Autism Academy.
- 36:15Speaker 1: I would love to. Anytime. Let me know.
- 36:17Speaker 3: All right. Jeannie Beard.
- 36:18Speaker 2: Oh, and thanks for joining me through PodMatch.
- 36:20Speaker 3: I'm sure you love PodMatch. It's a great site to
- 36:23Speaker 3: connect people.
- 36:24Speaker 2: And I often find that PodMatch helps us connect people
- 36:27Speaker 2: with disability in the disability space. I don't know what
- 36:30Speaker 2: it is, but that's where a lot of people seem
- 36:32Speaker 2: to be connecting with each other.
- 36:33Speaker 3: It is.
- 36:35Speaker 1: Thanks for having me.
- 36:37Speaker 3: Thank you, Jeannie Beard. And we'll talk to you soon
- 36:39Speaker 3: at the One Look Up Alex Media.