Latest / Share Your Fire / Share Your Fire, Ep. 2-1: It's Okay to Ask for Help (Melody Vachal)
Transcript
- John: Each of us has a torch, a passion burning inside that ignites our motivation. When it's fed, the fire spreads and helps those around us keep their own torches shining bright. Our combined light can keep any monster at bay. We bring together people from around the world, sparks of light and glowing embers with enlightening stories of kindness, success, and overcoming adversity, fanning the flames of love, compassion, and positivity. Sharing their light to help those struggling in darkness. I'm John Verrico and this is Share Your Fire. John Verrico: Hello, welcome to Share Your Fire. And my guest today is Super Special. And yeah, you're gonna get tired of me calling people special, but if this is this is again, it's true because I only bring special people on this show, but I will say, Melody Vachal has gone through a journey that most of us probably wish that we never have to encounter. At some point in our lives, every one of us will be a caregiver. Maybe we're just taking care of our child with the flu or something, or maybe we're helping dad when he broke his leg. Short termed, blessedly short term kinds of things. But for some people, being a caregiver becomes a lifelong, all consuming journey. And Melody Vackel has not only survived in this environment. But she has learned how to thrive in that. She's the author of Still I Rise, and let me bring on one of the dearest people I have ever met. Melody, Melody Vachal: Right. John Verrico: how are you? How are you doing today? I'm Melody Vachal: I am John Verrico: terrific because I get to talk to you. Melody Vachal: It's a good day. John Verrico: It's always a good day. my goodness. So I hope you you heard the introduction that I gave and and we know that being a caregiver is never easy, but for for most of us in life, and everybody will do it at some point. For most of us for most of us in life, it's a blessedly short lived kind of a thing. but then for other folks it becomes all consuming. And so I'd like for you to share with us a little bit about your journey, what you've gone through with with your son Isaac and you know and what you've learned throughout this and how you're helping people with it. Melody Vachal: Absolutely. Happy to be here, happy to share my story. I think it's a story that needs to be told because, as you said, everyone, whether they realize it now or not, is going to be impacted by caregiving. So my journey started 30 years ago, which in and of itself seems mind-boggling. John Verrico: huh. Melody Vachal: When my son Isaac was 10 weeks old, and he was still in that fresh, squishy baby space. He went to daycare one morning, and around lunchtime that day, I got this weird. feeling that something just kind of seemed off in my brain. So I called daycare to check in and she said, you know, he's kind of sleepy. He's not really eating well. And I was about a block away. I worked very close. I said, you know what? I'm just gonna check in. Probably nothing. And then I got there and Isaac was not doing well. He was had labor breathing, he was limp. We immediately left for the hospital. I'd called my husband, and he met was there also amazingly a block away that same day. So definitely divine providence. But we took him to the emergency room and he had to be airlifted to a trauma center away from us. he had had a respiratory arrest. Yeah. It was ten weeks old. John Verrico: And how old was he? Wow. my god. Melody Vachal: So that really launched us into a space we weren't necessarily anticipating because that respiratory arrest caused brain damage, which meant that now Isaac was blind and had cerebral palsy. And as he grew, we learned about epilepsy and additional cognitive and communication challenges. So in this moment from the start of the day to you know the end of the day, everything in our world had changed. John Verrico: Wow, in such a a a tragic and traumatic way. Melody Vachal: Yes. John Verrico: And that was thirty years ago. Isaac is thirty now. Melody Vachal: He is thirty now, yes. John Verrico: unless you've been doing been hand taking care of him for all of this time. Melody Vachal: Yeah. And thankfully I've got some great people on board as well to have supported that journey. But it definitely is been a challenge and a lot of celebrations too along the way. Both both are true. It's yeah. John Verrico: Well, let's talk about that too. I went obviously we're gonna talk a little bit about the challenges, but finding those celebrations, finding those things to celebrate in the midst of it is Melody Vachal: Yeah. John Verrico: I think really what kinda helps people get through. but let's let's talk about that. Tell me tell me what what what's good Lord, what is a typical day like? Melody Vachal: Well, it's changed through the years, obviously, and Isaac does now live in a family foster care home. So he has moved out of our family home, but we still come he still comes home for weekends and visits and we still spend time with him as we can. But day to day back in the early days was needing full-time care. He still needs assistance with everything. So basically he's a a grown man, but he still needs help with all of his activities of daily living. He needs help with dressing, bathing, all of those things. He does, he is ambulatory meaning He can walk. He does hold on to our arm because of his vision loss, but he is able to still move through space, and that makes things a little easier because he can get up and move from space to face with us, but he requires care with everything, and he was never a sleeper, so I think that was probably one of the biggest challenges John Verrico: Ha ha ha. Melody Vachal: for Isaac. I talked to parents and they'd say, my gosh, my baby's you know two months old and they still aren't sleeping through the night. And I think Isaac's 13 and he's still. not sleeping through the night. So there was a lot of years and years of that chronic sleep deprivation. And I think that people who are caregivers can understand and and understand what that feels like because it's hard to keep going and working the full-time job and raising the other two kids and taking care of Isaac, it gets a little overwhelming in the middle sometimes. John Verrico: Yeah, yeah. I can only I can only imagine what that what that must be like in that that constant demand on your time, your energy, your care, your love. how do you how do you do it? Melody Vachal: a lot of prayer John Verrico: Ha ha ha. Melody Vachal: and teamwork. Honestly, I'm fortunate enough that after Isaac's diagnosis and as he got older, our family started a home care company. So we started a home care company to get extra caregivers to support Isaac. And then out of that business now we've been in business actually as a home care company for 26 years and have served, you know, probably thousands of families over the years as well. So something that came out of that, which was really a blessing for our family was having substitute caregivers because you need a team. And a lot of people are navigating this space without any additional help. I was fortunate that we had some extra help that we could hire to come on board. But I think that space for us of just being able to offer a service to others who are in the same journey that we were in has just really been a blessing for our family. John Verrico: And you I when we first met, we we happened to be co-authors in a c collaboration book together, and we first met and we immediately hit it off and I was just so inspired by your heart. by not only were you just dealing with this with your own family, but you were so impassioned about what you were learning and that you wanted to share this with others. And that you opened up your your heart to create a business that helps other people to navigate this journey. Melody Vachal: Exactly. And I think that something about that space of knowing that that journey made somebody else's life a little easier really does makes you feel good in your heart, but it also lets you know that We can always count on other people. We have to ask. We have to be willing to ask for help, which is hard John Verrico: Ask for help. Melody Vachal: for so many of us to say, you know what, this isn't going so great. I really need some extra support. But when you begin to do that and you begin to offer that to other people, it starts to become more natural and more normal. So I think that's probably one of the best things that came out of it is the ability to say, I can't do this all by myself. I need some support. I need some help. Still a work and Progress because I I tend to think I can just push my way through through a lot of things, but having the opportunity to grow in that way and to support other people and to help people know that it's okay to say, I need some help, I'm not doing so great, or I just need someone to do a few little errands for me so I can take a shower, run to the grocery store, take a five-minute break. So I think knowledge of asking for help is a good thing that came out of the journey. John Verrico: Yeah, those are those are really key words right there. The the the three probably three most important words on the planet is ask for help. You know, remember Melody Vachal: Ask for help. John Verrico: that you're you know, the other three magic words are you're not alone. Melody Vachal: Good ones too. John Verrico: be and I think so many people find themselves feeling like they are alone. They don't know where to turn. They don't know how to ask for help, let alone who to ask it of. Or or Melody Vachal: Mm-hmm. It's true. John Verrico: sometimes they'll they'll you will ask for help and they'll ask absolutely the wrong person. So Melody Vachal: And if we're lucky when we ask the wrong person, maybe they know someone else who can help us do something because sometimes John Verrico: Ha Melody Vachal: it's a matter of like, I don't know if you know this, but maybe you can help me find someone else who knows something about this. John Verrico: I love it. Now you have expanded. Obviously, you know, you started with home care and all of that, and then you wrote a book called Still I Rise, Melody Vachal: I did. John Verrico: a guide to navigating the caregiver journey. See if we can get that on the screen. Look at that. Yep, I have my copy right here. Yes, yes. this Melody Vachal: and look at that. There it is. Yes. I got my my wrist behind me too. I remember signing that for you in new in New York. John Verrico: Yes, yes, when we first met and I absolutely treasure it. and this is not only it it's it's a really amazing book because there's so much in it. There's so much wisdom and advice and all of that, but there's also it's it's a workbook as well, Melody Vachal: Yeah, he is. John Verrico: you know, so people can you know, can can kind of track their own progress. Go ahead and and give his little description of of how you Melody Vachal: Exactly. Exactly. Sure. John Verrico: Came up with this. Melody Vachal: Well, I I guess I call it a braided tale. It's kind of three parts. It's parts of my story as a caregiver. and there's a little spoiler in there because I was also a receiver of care. And so that part of the journey, but then the things that I wish I had known along the way that maybe I didn't discover until later that could have been helpful had I known sooner. And then within that, I wanted it to be an actual tool. I wanted it to be a working tool that you could carry with you, you could take to appointments, you could jot notes in it. I wanted people to use it as a journal, as a workbook. And there's questions, journal prompts and reflection questions. There's how to build a care team and how to advocate for yourself. There's a big chapter on self-care because that's one as caregivers, we often don't think about. So there's a chapter on that and some tools within that of ways that you can do that. John Verrico: There's you can't people don't realize this, you can't help other people when you yourself you know, kind of are running out of steam. Melody Vachal: Exactly. John Verrico: And so yeah, you were a care receiver for a while as well. Melody Vachal: I was 10 years ago, crazy that it's been 10 years. I was actually, I stopped at a red light one day and I was hit from behind by a truck trailer and so had paralysis, suffered a traumatic brain injury. So I spent a number of years myself in the rehabilitation process. And then in that space, I really began to understand what I had done as a caregiver. And I think Having the, I don't want I guess I don't want to necessarily call it a blessing, but having the experience of being on the receiving end of care really gave me perspective of all the things that caregivers don't do when they're caregiving because I watched people care for me and I saw what they were doing. And I began to think, had only I known that that was me. I was that caregiver. But I would try to tell my caregiver, take a drink, get us a cup of coffee, take a break. She's like, I got this. I'm here for you. so that space of caregiving for others is hard for me to break. But through that journey, as hard as it was, as messy as it was, it was complicated, but I learned that I had value. Not because of what I did or how I showed up or some, you know, fancy title I held. I just had value because I'm a human being. And I think that reality, sometimes we think that we have to earn rest and we think we have to deserve support. And that's not actually true. John Verrico: Wow. Yeah, no, I love your I love your perspective on this. And what could you if you had to kind of summarize, what kinds of key things people need to keep in mind when they wind up in this in this sort of a role, you know, based on what you learned from on the receiving end as well as as being a caregiver yourself. Melody Vachal: Well, I think realizing that at some point in time there is a likelihood you're going to be cared for or give care. And taking the opportunity early to start thinking about what that might look like, I think is helpful. We wait until I mean I didn't anticipate, you know, at at fifty-three I was gonna get hit by a truck and need care and not be able to care for my son. I get connections with people all the time, like, you know, my mom just had a stroke, she needs care, she's getting discharged from the hospital tomorrow, and there's never been a conversation about what am I looking for as I age? How might I need support? What is that gonna look like? And so taking the opportunity to have those conversations. To begin to plan to think with curiosity instead of like fear. We get stuck, I don't want to think about that. I don't want to talk about getting older. I don't want to think about a time when I might not be capable. But not having the conversation doesn't stop it from happening. So taking the opportunity to be curious, what might happen if I wonder. Those kinds of words push us in a direction where we can expand our abilities to think of possibilities. John Verrico: Like I you say, curiosity and not fear, because so much of this is founded in fear. Melody Vachal: Hundred percent. John Verrico: Yeah. Now you have throughout throughout your book I noticed there's also QR codes that will take people to little audio clips and video clips, which I which is something you don't see in a traditional book. Melody Vachal: No, it's kind of fun. It's it was nice because I got to do a little guided meditation in there. My son actually played the guitar and so that's kind of nice to have my other son. I have I have a younger son also beyond Isaac. John Verrico: was really sweet. Melody Vachal: But so that was nice getting a chance to just leave some messages for people saying who I was. giving them some tips on like I call up something called the recharge circle of self-care that I developed. So giving them a chance to walk through that with me, I think was fun. Sort of like a little teaching moment within the journey as well. John Verrico: And that's really it. So actually that was what I wanted to talk about was the recharge. Because that's kind of the next the next piece of this, right? We and we've Melody Vachal: Yeah. John Verrico: talked about this, the fact that you you can't take care of somebody else. You can't be a caregiver when you yourself start to fail. And so fortunately this was blessedly short lived for us, but I had gotten neurovirus. And my wife was taking care of me while had COVID. And Melody Vachal: Messy, messy. Yeah. John Verrico: yeah. And the thing is we didn't know she had COVID at the time. She just knew that she was feeling a little low, but didn't know didn't know why, but was was ignoring it, not paying attention to it because she was worried about taking care of me. until ul ultimately she almost reached a state of collapse because she was fighting off COVID without even realizing it. So then we switched gears and I became her caretaker while you know through her COVID journey. So it's just, you know, and like I said, fortunately these were really short periods of time and things that we easily overcame. But boy, experiencing just in that short period, what can happen when you wear yourself thin trying to take care of your loved one. Melody Vachal: And it happens all the time because it creeps up on us, right? It's just we're doing a little bit of this and a little bit of that. And pretty soon, all of a sudden, we've reached this stage of I don't, you we're just not aware because it starts out small, like, maybe I'm just picking up, you know, milk and groceries for mom once a week. And then all of a sudden it's like, and now I'm also picking up her laundry. And then I'm doing check-ins and now I'm adding in doctor's appointments. Well, all of those little single things add up. And we don't realize that now we've spent, you know, an additional 20 hours a week at mom's house and we're still trying to manage our own life and keep moving forward with our own journey. But if you can build self-care and in tiny spaces, right? I call it micro-self-care. That space where setting an alarm on your phone, right? We set alarms for all of the important things we have to do. What's more important than taking care of ourselves? So setting that alarm, taking five John Verrico: And lightning right there. Melody Vachal: minutes, right? Five minutes to stretch, five minutes to get a drink of water. If you can get outside, get a breath of fresh air, because we need like actual real oxygen that comes from nature versus you know our our inside air. just those few moments. And if you set your alarm a couple times during the day, maybe four or five times for a five-minute break, by the end of the day, you've had 20, 25 minutes of a little reset time. So not reaching the end of the day. and having literally nothing in the tank. John Verrico: You know, one of the things that I have found when I've talked to people who've dealt with things at different times in their life is that they don't take the time for themselves because they feel guilty. Melody Vachal: the Dren and G word. John Verrico: Yeah. You know, they feel guilty about taking time for themselves. They feel guilty about whatever feelings they might have, like, why do why why do I have to do this again? You know they get yeah, be it angry, they get Melody Vachal: Mm-hmm. John Verrico: guilty, they they feel guilty. How do you get past those emotional that emotional turmoil that comes through. Obviously, we know that the the stages that we go through when we deal with this massive change that comes in our life, they're exactly the same emotions and stages that we go through when we go through grief. Melody Vachal: Yes. John Verrico: Right. And and really this kind of a change in our life is grief. Melody Vachal: It absolutely is. John Verrico: So how can people navigate these you know, these stages where you go through the the the denial and then the the anger and all of those things that that that that that we go through? Melody Vachal: I'm a huge proponent of mental health therapy, first of all. I think that there's a reason we have people who have that training in our world who are there to support folks in managing mental health. So I am a huge proponent of finding a good therapist, working through that, having the opportunity. Get a group of friends, join a support group. And find a support group that's supportive because not all of them John Verrico: Ha ha ha ha. Melody Vachal: are. Sometimes you might find one that you look and you're like, you know, this isn't really meeting my needs. It's okay to not stay in a support group. If it's not supporting your needs, look for another one. Getting a coach, I do caregiver coaching, caregiver support coaching, and helping people walking through what has my lifestyle changed? How can I still nurture and support myself as I move forward in this journey? Versus I'm just twisting in the wind, right? Because we don't necessarily think about ourselves first, like we said, and we feel guilty and I shouldn't, I shouldn't, I shouldn't feel this way. I'm not the one who's, you know, mom's the one who's sick or you know my child is the one who's needs me. Both are true. Your loved one does need you and they can't have the best of you if you're only giving them what's left of you. John Verrico: Ooh, wow. That's profound. Melody Vachal: Yeah. John Verrico: That is that is really profound. So because b so since I sidetracked us, I'd like to go back to that reset. Melody Vachal: Yes. our recharge circle. Yes. Yes. John Verrico: Yeah, the recharge circle. Melody Vachal: Well, recharge for me means of course putting something back in your tank. You know, s getting your batteries charged up, getting going. And it I'm good with acronyms because part of my after my accident, my brain injury sometimes makes it harder for me to remember things. So things that stick in my brain easier are acronyms. So Recharge looks at rest. Again, how do you find rest in your day? I'm not talking sleep. I'm talking those little moments of self-care, those micro practices, a step away, a deep breath. We don't use breath nearly as often as we should. So rest. then it right? It it's it's kind of crucial. And and we're very John Verrico: Breathing is kind of important. Yeah. Yeah. Melody Vachal: shallow breathers. We don't feel our airs or their lungs with oxygen. That keeps our cells happy. It keeps us more alert. It helps us feel better. All of the systems in our body work better. So yeah, breath is good. rest. And then it looks at eating right. Are you fueling your body? And it's okay to not have judgment about what you eat necessarily. Sometimes a snicker bar and a coffee are my go-to. I'm not gonna lie. John Verrico: Ha ha ha. Melody Vachal: But are you putting fuel in your body? Sometimes as a caregiver, you hit the end of the day and you realize you either haven't eaten anything or you've eaten everything in sight. So what does that look like when you're providing nutrition to your body? C is for communicate. We don't take the opportunity to talk about what we're feeling, talk about how we're feeling. so being able to communicate with someone and actually say, you know, I'm really feeling overwhelmed right now, or I need some support, or could you just come here and sit in my house for a half an hour so I could lay down and take a nap? So that communication. H is really important because that's about health. Monitoring your own health care. As caregivers, we just heard about it with Dolly Parton. You know, she was caring for her husband, she kind of put her own symptoms and things aside. And it may not have changed the eventual outcome, but so many people don't navigate their healthcare system for themselves when they're taking care of someone else. So they're not seeing the dentist, they're not doing routine checkups, they're putting a aside things that, I'm sure it's nothing, right? So then all of a sudden their health goes awry. And then who's going to show up for your person if you're Health is bad. So John Verrico: I I've heard that I've heard that so often. I'll take care of this once I get past that. What once once you get better, then I'll worry about going to the doctor and I'll I'll have my I'll Melody Vachal: Exactly. John Verrico: have my knee checked, you know, a after we get through this. And it just gets postponed Melody Vachal: Right. John Verrico: and postponed. Melody Vachal: Easy to do. Then that leads up us up to A, which is accepting and acknowledging, right? Accepting who you are, acknowledging the journey you're on, realizing that it doesn't define you as a human being. But being able to say, okay, this is the space I'm in right now. I may not like it. I might have chosen something else, but I can take a deep breath, I can accept that this is where I am. And that can help a lot with just the mindset of this is hard to say like, yeah, this is a season. And right now I have to accept where I am and I can acknowledge that it's gonna be hard for a while and that's okay. Leads us back to our next R, which is respite, John Verrico: Mm-hmm. Melody Vachal: those tiny breaks we take. Can you get away? Can you hire a substitute caregiver? Can you get a friend or a neighbor? Even if it's a short period of time. It doesn't have to be, you know, two weeks in the Bahamas. It could literally be, I need time to take a nap, or could you come and stay one night so I can get a full night's sleep? So just those little pieces of respite. How can you access that? What might that look like for you? Then we go to G, I believe, which is getting enough sleep. So this is different than the rest. We need restorative sleep. So sometimes, if possible, can you find that substitute caregiver who can give it to you so that you can have a full night's sleep? Because when you Are chronically sleep deprived, you make mistakes, you don't feel well, you can be confused, it just offsets your whole body system. So sleep really is something you need to do. And so many caregivers, myself included, we live on next to no sleep. And that moves us right and that moves us John Verrico: Guilty. Melody Vachal: to our final E, which is exercise. Again, you don't have to run a marathon. You don't have to work out two, three hours a day. You can do those little pieces of micro self-care. When I do with the the breath and the stretch, I also do like a couple of exercises. So maybe one day it's bicep curls, another day it's squats. When I my alarm goes off. I take an opportunity, I do maybe five, five at a time. That's all. But five over five times during the day, by the end of the day, you've done 25 squats or 25 push-ups. So it matters when you just institute those tiny habits. So that's my recharge circle of self-care. John Verrico: I love that. You know, I I used to joke when I was in the Navy, I hated the idea that we had to run. I was never a runner, you know. Melody Vachal: Right. John Verrico: And I was because I was a short guy. I had short legs. It took me more steps Melody Vachal: Yeah. John Verrico: to go the same distance as you, you know. And and I used to joke about that all the time. And they said, you know, you've got to run a mile and a half. And I and you know, compared to the other services, that's that's nothing, right? Everybody else runs Melody Vachal: Not so bad. John Verrico: three plus miles, whatever. But for the Navy it was a mile and a half. I Why do I have to run a mile and a half? The ships aren't that long. But but Melody Vachal: Ha ha ha. John Verrico: but what I what I said was, you know, okay, if I have to run this, why don't I run a hundred yards? And then I'll run a hundred yards later. And then I'll run a hundred yards later. And then I'll get that mile and a half finally. You know, they said it didn't quite work out that way. I said, Well well Melody Vachal: Mm-hmm. Doesn't work that way. John Verrico: if I have have to do a hundred sit-ups, I could do a hundred sit ups, I'll do ten now. I'll do ten more in an hour. Yeah, Melody Vachal: Mm-hmm. Exactly, exactly. John Verrico: that they don't really accept it that way, but but it does no truly though, it does add up. Every little bit that you do, even if it's just for a few minutes at a time or just a couple of repetitions at a time, makes all the difference. It does. And it adds up. Melody Vachal: Yeah, it really does. And that makes it feel sustainable. And that's the piece that happens a lot of times. When we try to do all or none, it's not sustainable. But if we can just go, okay, this and then this and then this and then this, it feels more doable. It doesn't feel John Verrico: Yeah. Melody Vachal: like it's this huge task. Like we can pretty much do anything for three minutes, right? John Verrico: That is a brilliant way of looking at it. And so j I just want to recap the recharge acronym. And it is rest, Melody Vachal: Yes. Yes. John Verrico: eat right, communicate, health your own, accept and acknowledge. Respite. Get enough sleep and exercise. And that is the Melody Vachal: Mm-hmm. That's correct. John Verrico: that is the recharge circle. I love it. you know I'm big on acronyms, too, so I just Melody Vachal: They work well for me. John Verrico: Yeah, yeah. Acronyms are fun and and they're memorable. And this one I think is absolutely brilliant. I want to recommend for folks that they do look for your book, Still I Rise. it is the go-to for anyone who is in a caregiving role, whether it be just for a short period of time or whether, you know, something has happened that really kind of changes your life journey. the book is a fantastic resource. Melody is a glorious resource. She's full of energy and knowledge and positivity even after 30 years as a caretaker and ten years of her own being on the receiving end of care while still trying to be a caretaker. God bless your energy for all of that. Melody Vachal: Ha ha ha. John Verrico: Melody, how can people get in touch with you? Melody Vachal: They can follow me on Facebook and Instagram at Rise with MelodyVocle. They can reach me on LinkedIn. If you look for Melody Vachal, you will find me. And I work there to help organizations to move and people to move from surviving to rising. And those are probably the best ways to reach out to me. They can also, my email is now working. It's Melody at MelodyVocle.com. And that is my website as well. I would love to have a conversation with anybody who wants to chat or talk about caregiving or ways that maybe I can support them or their teams. John Verrico: Yes, and you have a YouTube channel. Melody Vachal: I do. That also is at Rise with Melody Vacle. John Verrico: Okay, excellent. I want to make sure that people can find that. And for those of you who are only listening to this and aren't seeing Melody's name on the screen or anything like that, Melody vocal vocal is spelled V-A-C-H-A-L. so Melody Vachal: Yes. John Verrico: you and and that will be in the show notes as well, but I just wanted to make sure that you know sometimes people are just listening to this while they're out exercising. Doing that great Melody Vachal: There we go. Taking a tiny habit, taking a break. John Verrico: thing. And maybe some people unfortunately are are are sitting there in their life care life giving wow in their caregiving journey listening to a podcast and hopefully getting some inspiration from this one. Melody, thank you so much for taking the time to join us on this and I hope that you have made a difference for somebody out there. I know that you have. I know that you have. I know our listeners are going to get a lot out of this. Melody Vachal: Thank you so much for the opportunity, John. It is my pleasure to see you again and I appreciate the opportunity to share my story. John Verrico: Well, thank you for sharing your fire. Folks, check out this episode. Listen to it a few times because there is so much gold in in this conversation. Melody is a true treasure. And yeah, still I rise is like the go-to. If you're ever dealing with being a caregiver, you definitely want this resource in your pocket. Melody, thank you again. Everyone, Melody Vachal: I love it John Verrico: take care, catch our next episode, and have a great day.