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John Morris - Mindfulness, Mental Health, and Recovery · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the quarterback dad cast.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Thank you for tuning in today, and let me tell you a little bit about why I started this podcast five years ago, which is hard to believe.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: That's how long we've been doing this thing and it's so fun.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: But the goal of this was to help dads learn, laugh, shed some tears, but share a story, because, as fathers, we all want to help prepare our kids for what's next.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: We want to help them be better than we were.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: We want to help them enter the professional world, to thrive at each stage of their life.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: So guests of this show are teachers, coaches, professional athletes, consultants, business owners, authors but who cares?
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Because the most important job that each of them have is they are dads and on all these episodes they're going to share openly about failure, success, laughter, even sadness, so that we all can learn from each other.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: So I ask you to tune in, share this episode, share a past episode, but continue to listen and support us so we can continue to keep sharing episodes of the quarterback dad cast.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Now let's get to today's episode.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Well, hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: We are in season five and we're continued to having so much fun.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: And this next guest is not my doppelganger.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: They have no freaking handsome dude sick beard and bald is beautiful but but I came across Pete.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: I actually came across John, john Morris, our next guest, from Pete Duran and Pete is a fantastic dude who I met, um uh, this year and just a fricking guy that brought so much joy and energy.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: And anyway, I came across John, and John is the vice president of demand and brand at a GSD and 20 design.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: He's also the host of a get shit done experience podcast.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: He's also we're going to learn if he knows Tommy the Tomcat from university of St Thomas.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure, maybe he was.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Tommy the Tomcat, but we'll find out more importantly, we're here to talk to John, about John the dad, and how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his homes.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Without further ado, mr Morris, welcome to the quarterback, dad cast.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Thank you, casey I so, without further ado, mr Morris, welcome to the Quarterback.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Dadcast.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: Thank you, casey, I appreciate it.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: All right, brother.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Well, we always start each episode gratitude, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm grateful for God.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: I am grateful that God is in my life and that I have a covenant with God and part of that covenant is to be in charge of my dominion, and that falls in line with my covenant, with my wife and making sure that I'm a strong leader for my children.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Love it, man.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: What I'm grateful for is I have let's see, it's August 6th today.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: My son will be off to college here shortly, and so I'm grateful for every last day I get while he's in my house or our house before he goes off to school.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Tonight we're big baseball fans.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: We're going to the Seattle Mariners game.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for the time to spend with him.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Hopefully the M's can get a dub tonight, which always makes it more fun.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for that.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: I just love trying to be as present as I can as a dad and enjoy the time we get, because it's so important and for the younger dads out there, time does not slow down dudes, it just has continued to speed up.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: And it feels weird to say I'm almost 50 years old, john, which feels weird to say yeah, me too, but I am.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: It's true.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: I'm like how the hell did that happen?
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Crazy.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so fast, ken Griffey Jr.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: By the way, best left-handed swing of all time, mariner, unbelievable.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Well, funny, you said that I should have had, because that's the Jersey I'm wearing tonight is Griffey, there you go.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: You got to rock that Jersey man, you got to Okay Well.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: Bring me inside the John Morris huddle.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: Tell me about the members of the squad, a little bit, about your wife and your kids.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so my wife is absolutely the rock.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: She is the voice of reason.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: She's my yang to my ying.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: I'm very impulsive Shocking to anyone who knows me that's listening to this.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: I'm very impulsive when I get a feeling about something.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: I go go to anyone who knows me that's listening to this and very impulsive, uh, when I get a feeling about something, I go, go, go.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: I'm one of those people who learns through mistakes.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Um, like, I don't read manuals and those types of things If I'm trying to put something together, which is likely why there's 12 screws left over, uh, so she is the one sitting next to me saying, okay, now this part goes here and now this part goes here, right, so, um, yeah, she's a college sweetheart, absolute joy of my life, um, and really centers me and and keeps me uh, focused, um, and at the same time, I think it's a wonderful thing because I I forced her to try things.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Um, so that works out well as it relates to my kids.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: I'm a father of three boys 17, 15, and 12.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: Boy, I got to tell you you have these thoughts, when you're going to have children, of what God is going to give you and they're going to be just like you and they're going to love everything you love and they're going to be a chip off the old block.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: And that is not at all the case.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: They are exactly who they're supposed to be.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: They are their own humans and their spirit lifts me up every day because I see commonality within us.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: But they are so uniquely different.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: They are so themselves, but they are so uniquely different.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: They are so themselves.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: And when you start to come to the realization that they're made to be that way, it really is uplifting to see how they're going to bring their gifts to the world.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: And so, like my oldest, I'm a sports nut, grew up playing sports, played every sport, and my oldest does not like sports.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: Literally could care less.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: But I tell you what, every day, I learned from him.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: He's had two jobs in his life.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: He's been the employee of the month in his first month at both.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: He's already gotten promoted three times.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: He went from part-time to.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: They asked him if he would be full-time up at Home Depot and that just lights me up.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: He tried wrestling for a minute and just was.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: You know, he was trying it because his friends were there and it was a way to bond with his friends, who were all really good at it.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: And he had a terrible time with the actual sport.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: But at the end of the year the coaches picked him as the player that emulated the grit and tenacity that they were looking for.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: I don't care what the record is, I care about that.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: He's not going to be an Olympic wrestler, he's going to be a great human, he's going to be employable and he's going to lead by those gifts.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: And so I could go on and on.
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: My middle child is ultra creative.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: Nothing is the way it's supposed to be.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: This is the kid who can't just make macaroni and cheese.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Right, it's got to be some sort of special kind of macaroni and cheese.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: He's got to try all different types of things and he's always looking for the next angle to make money.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: And then my youngest is probably a little bit more like me.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: He's all about sports.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: First year ever wrestling he made state and took 11th in state in his first year ever wrestling.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: And I don't know a thing about wrestling not a thing.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: But football season is starting up tonight.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: First padded practice and that's his absolute jam.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: So I'm kind of they light me up, man.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: I got to tell you they light me up.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: And the minute you don't want to do something at work, the minute you don't want to push a little bit harder, the minute you don't want to give that extra oomph, you want to leave early, all you got to do is look at the picture on your desk of your kids and if that doesn't fire you up, then maybe you got to figure out why and I know my why- man, I know we joked about the doppelganger brother, but we might be related, because when I put stuff together there's always parts left.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: I thought like if you Googled worst handyman ever, just my image come up.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: But I think you might be there with me.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: I think I'm reading the defense right it might be Siamese twins.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: You know, one set of shoulders, two heads there Does that bug you, that you're not handy.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: No, because it did for a long time.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: I spent a lot of time in my life worrying about what I wasn't good at.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: And I kind of had an epiphany and maybe I was touched by God.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: I don't know what it is, but I came to the realization that I was put here and given gifts that I need to be hyper focused on and stop worrying about the flaws and faults and inadequacies that I have.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: Those define me in ways, because in order for you to have ultra strengths, you have to have some weaknesses, because there's no perfection.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Ultra strengths, you have to have some weaknesses because there's no perfection.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: So it bothered me for a bit.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Now I've come to the realization that there's also you know what I can't put a light bulb in, but there's not a lot of people that could stand up and talk to 400 people without a beat of sweat.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: Right, I might not be able to put the bed together.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: I might not be able to put the bed together, but there's not a lot of people that could go out and and perform some of the things that I've been getting been gifted to do.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: So that has become more of my focus, of trying to maximize my strengths rather than worrying about my weaknesses.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: So good, dude, that's so well said.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: It's I, I, I used to let that bug me and I think 1% in me, I sometimes I wish I was a bit more, but I, but, but 99.99% of the time I rely on like I like I'll joke with my buddies.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, but how how many words can you type a minute?
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: How many?
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: What's the biggest audience you've ever spoke to?
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I say the same thing.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: It's, and they don't want to do that.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: And even this past week I was.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: I was on the East coast.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: My family and I always go to this really, really cool spot called Cuddy hunk Island and one of my buddies is out there.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: He's very manual labor job and his back's all jacked up and my back's a little bit jacked up from my college football days.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: My college football days yes, uncle rica moment right there, check the box, um, football corner mile over that mountain, um.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: But I, uh, he's like I wish I wish I could use my head for my job, not my body.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know it's like I sometimes.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Now I just have a.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: It's you know I, I laugh and have fun with it and and.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: But I've yet to meet the perfect person.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: John Doesn't exist.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: No, we're all perfect because we've been created to be as such, but we're perfect in our way of being flawed, and that is what should inspire you to get better.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: I have to segue here a bit, though, because in preparation for this, I went on your LinkedIn page and I looked at your features.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: So I clicked on the interview with Katie who's awesome and you talked about writing your book and you just prefaced that again.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: So that inspired me, because I've had this kind of like.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: I have a list of five goals that I just absolutely have to do, and one of those is writing a book.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: Goals that I just absolutely have to do, and one of those is writing a book.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: So first thing I did was I typed in how many words should a 200 page book be, and you just said it.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: You said you know how fast can you type 60,000 words, or whatever?
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: And it came up and it said 50,000 to 60,000 words is what a 200 page book should be.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: So that just went down on my on my goal sheet.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Oh boy, did you write the word?
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: I will in front of it.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: I write I am.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: So when I journal every morning.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: This is part of that epiphany.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: I went through a really, really tough time where I hit a massive wall.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: My recovery out of that a lot of that through self-awareness and this personal journey I decided to go on was to start journaling and I came across this book.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: Um, I read a lot of books on Christianity and a lot of self-help and you know atomic habits.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Uh, was one that I that I dug into, and but I came across this book called project three and it talks about the power of I am and that if you start every self-talk with I am and you write it down starting with I am, then there's a much stronger likelihood that you'll bring that out into reality.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: So I write it three times in the morning, six times in the afternoon, nine times at night.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: That's the three, six, nine.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: Apparently, this philosophy was used by Tesla and endless successful human beings that have crossed through this beautiful thing we call Earth.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: And, yeah, my journal entry this morning was I am powerful.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: And then I wrote down that my intention was to use my gifts and my powers to inspire others to bring out their strengths and their gifts.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: Bring out their strengths and their gifts, and then you write it as a then a paragraph of gratitude, which is I feel gratified and thankful that I am powerful and I have all the tools and gifts to be powerful.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: So it's you write the journal entry, then the intention, and then you verify that you are that already, because you already feel it, and so I do that daily and it's been.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: It's been quite effective, just to keep clarity and to keep my mindset on the right things instead of the the rabbit hole of darkness that I had found myself going into previously.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: Well, all right, dude.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: So this, this is crazy.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, I, I don't go to church every day, but I'm very spiritual, Uh, and I believe that people, we meet people in life for a reason, and we and I have definitely met for a reason it's like so crystal clear.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: Um, I do something a little bit different.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: So I do I definitely.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: I do a gratitude journal every morning and the first line in the gratitude journal is God, Thank you for waking me up today.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I'm like I'm up, I'm awake, I got and I have the chance.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: This is all about mindset.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: Everybody it's a mindset is I have a chance to do something great today.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: I have a chance to be better than I was yesterday.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: I have a chance to be a present dad.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: I have a chance to go get my daughter's smoothie her favorite one.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: I have a chance to go to the marionette game, but just like fill myself with positive self thoughts in the morning.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: But, um, the reason I asked you about will, and I want to, I want to talk about that, but I also want to bring back to your three, six, nine, which I love, dads, there's a lot of great notes.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Please take notes of what we're what we're talking about because, uh, John and I both learned this from other people.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: We didn't create this stuff, and so now it's our job to share it with others, just like how people who share with us they learn it from other people.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: But in this, like entrepreneurial journey, I'm on I joke, but I mean it and really it's like there's five new swear words I created, and these swear words are need to, should, to, want to, have to and can't.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Those are like worse than an F-bomb at a wedding.
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: The woulda coulda shoulda.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: My dad used to preface that all the time.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: The woulda coulda shoulda.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: Those words creating nothing.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: It's all anxiety-based language that creates no plan.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: And I joke to people.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: I'm like imagine if you're a seller.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: It's like hey, I should make some calls today, I should go out and meet people, but as a passenger, if the pilot's 30,000 feet up there and say oh shoot, I forgot to file a flight plan.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: Well, it's the 19th hole, right?
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: So I play a lot of golf.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: It's the 19th hole.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: The 19th hole is a bunch of people in the clubhouse talking about all the things that they should have done on the course to score better, and that woulda, coulda, shoulda, no-transcript Key word.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: You said practice.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, everything is all practice.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: It's repetition, and can you find joy and gratitude in the boredom of repetition?
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: Everyone likes to go do the things that they're great at.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: It validates you, it makes you feel wonderful.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: Can you find gratitude and joy in three-foot putts repeatedly?
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: Because if you miss two of them, that's a big difference in what your score is and how much money you might make right, but who wants to go?
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: Everyone wants to go to the range and hit their driver.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: How far can you hit it right?
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: But that's not where you win.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: You win by making the three foot putts.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: So if you take that and you apply it to life, you win by doing all the little things like saying thank you and please, and, and, and validating other people and giving Right.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Those are the things that that cause you to win on a more regular basis.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: It's the simple things.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I love that man.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Again, I'm a, I'm a four handicap.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: I got a son who's a one handicap.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: Uh, so we play a lot of golf here and it's funny to talk about that when he was in.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: He's going off to college here to play golf in college and so he's better golf than me.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: I did my job, made a better, but he does like a hill when his putting gets off.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: He makes 103 footers in a row where he stopped or he doesn't.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: Yep, the grind.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: I'm a plus one.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: Oh Jesus, look at you, yeah, so but again I'm getting strokes.
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: It's a yeah, I just.
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: I just had our.
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: We have our match played throughout the summer.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: I just had a play of the club champion.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: I didn't give him seven strokes.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Seven strokes to the club champion.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: Luckily, I was able to come through.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: That's a miracle.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: What'd you shoot?
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: I shot a 73.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: He did not have a good day and poor guy he.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: It was a little dew on the ground, we had an early tee time and on the 10th hole he went.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: I was up three at the time so I don't feel terrible like it caused me to win.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: But he he hit his drive on 10.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: He bent over to pick up his tee and he slipped and he snapped his driver in half on accident, leaning on it, and so he had a rough day.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: So if I would have caught him on his really good days, which I have played him against, on his really good days, which I have played him against on his really good days, he can put up.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: You know he can shoot plus two.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: He could shoot even par.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: But I caught him on a on a tough day so I got I had a little luck to to be able to pull it off.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Well, well done, man.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Um, real quick before I go into another question, but on that, the I ams, um, I got taught by a good buddy my name Colin Henderson.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: He taught about this thing called the HA method, which stands for um, I have, I am, I will.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: So it's like a four minute exercise that I learned from him, that he learned from someone else, and now I teach sometimes some of my clients and teach my kids too.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: But so the first minute you just you breathe.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: What are you doing, trying to kind of center yourself.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: How am I feeling?
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Where's my mind?
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: Where's what happened?
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: You know, boom, that minute goes off.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: He's reset it for a minute.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: And now the second minute is I have statements.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: You're going to say things that you have.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: These are physical things, emotional things or opportunistic things.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: So I have an opportunity to be, to meet John today.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: I have an opportunity to ask great questions, I have an opportunity to listen.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: You know, whatever, boom, minute goes off.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: Third minute is I am statements kind of same philosophy.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: And then last minute is I will statements.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: So good, so good.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: You know you made the comment that you don't go to church, but I will tell you that, um, that I, I, I do, I do.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: But I had a lot of regret and shame that I wasn't, but then I came to the realization that the church lives inside of you.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: This is my church today.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: Correct.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: So your thought process of I am and I have is essentially a way of going to church, if you will, the act of going to church for some people is a discipline thing, but your discipline and I truly believe this is that I have conversation, that you're having conversation, that you're having essentially is a way of praying, because, if I'm right here and I don't want to turn this into a religious podcast, but we're talking about being a dad, and part of being a dad, I think, is having these principles and leading with these types of things and leading with these types of things, right.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: So part of that act is God lives within you.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: So if you're saying I am, you're essentially telling the inside of you which is supposed to be godly, right, is godly that you're not asking.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: You're saying I am this and that's how you have to talk to the higher spirits and yourself I have this and it's it.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: That's how you have to talk to this higher spirits and yourself.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: I have this, thank you, I am this, thank you, Right.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: So I I think that you do go to church every day, since you're starting that up.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, you're right, and I to me, I, I just, I love, um, I'd say, the three kind of principles that drive my life that I've talked about many times is that, I think, are, you know, very sound spiritual people have is humility, vulnerability and curiosity.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: I think those are absolute superpowers, so powerful All, and I'm going to be on an infinite journey to try to get really, really elite at those and hopefully I do when I when it's hopefully I'm 90 something in the assisted living facility, when we're we're comparing how we did, but until then it's like I'm on a PGA tour.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: Son is taking care of you at the facility.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Hopefully I'm looping for him.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, 90 year old caddy, let's go Exactly.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, I want to go into rewind the time to John, the, the, the kid, yeah, whatever you feel comfortable with sharing.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Talk about what was life like growing up for you and talk about the impacts that your pops had on you.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: I had a great life growing up.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: Some difficult things.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: I was born with eyelids that were deformed, so there was a period of time where I went through some bullying and then I had corrective eye surgery when I was 12 years old.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: Thank God for my parents to do that and it kind of freed me up a little bit.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: But yeah, my childhood was amazing.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: I'm the youngest of six kids.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Older siblings are absolutely off the hook.
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: Fantastic, brilliant, amazing, like I'm the black sheep of the family.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: They are all so unbelievably talented.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: Sitting at a Thanksgiving table with my siblings is like sitting in a boardroom of CEOs.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: I mean they're just I'm quiet.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: I mean they're just I'm quiet.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I've kind of taken on the role of entertainer in that situation because I know that they're so advanced.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: It's like wow.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: And you know you could take that all back to the way that my parents raised us.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: They raised us to be, raised us to be thinkers.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: They raised us to be spiritual.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: They raised us to be givers and they raised us to be spiritual.
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: That raised us to be givers and that raised us to be very independent.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: So my siblings and I, if I'm being honest, we don't talk a ton, but there's no pain or anguish about that.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: We just jump right back up because we know we are so independently.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: We're raised to be independent and to be focused on our little units right, but when we come together it's pretty amazing.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: My dad was retired executive vice president of Kraft Foods.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: He was there 35 years, 17 promotions.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: He was a great athlete.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: His claim to fame was that he held Gene Hsu Hall of Fame basketball player to like 15 points in the Baltimore City Championship.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: He struck out Al Kaline two times, or something like that, in the city championship.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: And then he said Al Kaline hit a home run that hasn't landed yet something like that in the city championship.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: And then he said Al Kaline hit a home run that hasn't landed yet.
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: He joked about the fact that he got drafted to the Korean War and Al Kaline went to the Detroit Tigers.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: Only player to never play minor league baseball Went right from high school to the Detroit Tigers and started as an 18-year-old in right field, so that was his claim to fame.
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: He was an unbelievable salesperson, sales leader, ran a $13.8 billion sales force.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: He was so tightly wired, though, and I think it was because he had so much pressure he had three heart attacks and a stroke.
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: But before I was 15, had to retire at 56 years old.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: Luckily he he had a lot of craft food stock.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: When Philip Morris bought craft foods the stock split three times.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: So financially he was able to retire no problem.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: But I grew up pretty much um a club rat right, growing up on golf courses and private courses.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: I was working when I was 13.
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: His money was not my money.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: He made that abundantly clear.
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: He was going to give me a great life but don't ask for money.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: So you know, I started.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: I started painting companies when I was a teenager and was a terrible student.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: But I was kind of at 20 years old, was kind of like hey, you're on your own, man, go figure it out.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: Always knew I had the safety net, but he was instilling in me that there's no easy road.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: My road wasn't easy and you've got me inside of you, you've got my DNA, so you're going to figure it out.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: All my siblings treated the same way but always took care of us in an amazing fashion.
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: I miss him dearly.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: I think about him daily and you know, the older you get, the more those things hit you that you brushed off or you heard it but you weren't really listening Right, like it didn't sink in.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: And God, now those things hit me on a regular basis, where I go, okay, and it'll hit me at the weirdest times you know I could be.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: I could be golfing and just playing on a Saturday match and somebody will say something like oh my God, my dad had a quote for that.
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: His favorite quote was it's it was Ben Hogan was interviewed after some 1950 something, a Open, and a reporter interviewed him and said you know what's the key to golf?
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: You keep winning all these majors.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: What's the key?
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: And Ben Hogan said well, it's not how good your good shots are, it's how good your bad shots are.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: And so my dad would tell me that all the time I would tell him I was having a bad day, he'd go look, it's not how good your good shots are, your good shots are, it's how good your bad shots are.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: Can you make your bad day better?
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: Can you make your worst day still a really good day?
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: Um, so I try and take those messages and and live them out and then teach them to my to my kids um.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: You said go ahead.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: You said miss your pops.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: I'm I'm assuming he's passed away yeah, yeah, he passed away February 18th.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: What, six years ago?
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, six years ago, bad health, had a great life.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: You know he would have been 90 this year.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: I want to say I think 90.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he would have been 91, maybe 91.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: I think he was born in 1933.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, 91 years old, great life, unbelievable life.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: Unfortunately, he was sick all the time Arthritis, some of the you know some of the things taken away from him.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: But such a giver just gave back.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: I mean, he gave.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: He gave more of his money to strangers than he did to his own kids, and his own kids in no way shape or form.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: Go God, I wish Dad would have.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: He should have left us more.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: No, he gave back so much to other people and it's just such an inspiration, people and um, that it's just such an inspiration.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: So he also taught me that, uh, honor what he said.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: Thanksgiving one year he said uh, honor the dead as if they're living and the living as if they're dead my um, my pops passed away december 29, 2021.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: Um, he was a sales guy too.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: He my dad was not.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: I think is how we are self-talk.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: He did not have the same self-talk.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: My dad was more of a need to, I think.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: Um, I remember, um, he was never the best salesperson.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: He was an above average salesperson, qualified for a bunch of trips, had great, got a great career.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: We had a great life, um, but when my parents got divorced and I was first year in college, he then started to kind of go down a wrong path of, yeah, um just got into health issues and then he got bipolar and dementia and all those numbers and diabetes and all this stuff and so like.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: For that's 23.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Me and my wife really kind of helped take care of him physically, emotionally, financially, even through like, until his last days and um, but I was grateful to be there for his last breath.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, uh, it was.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: And you know, as you talk about like getting hit with certain times with him, or you know my buddy, steve Gamble, and his dad passed.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: He said it's gonna.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: You know it's super hard, but when they go, but there'll be times it'll hit you and it's funny, being lovers of golf.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: My son you know even the state tournament, high school state tournament or you know I'm following him and it's as a golf parent.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: It's so hard because you can't really talk to him and they're around.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: You have to do this and they've struggled.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: It's like fricking paper cuts the best.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: But sometimes you know I'll be walking with him.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: I'm like dad man, if you're up there, this big six footer for birdie really could use you to kind of help.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Tap ran up there from heaven.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let him hit the back of the cup.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: A lot of pace, right.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah so it's uh it's fun to.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: I mean, even though, I mean, my dad was such a diehard sports fan Um, I was lucky enough to play college football and when I got done playing quarterback in college it was like it was.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: I think it was harder on him than me, but, like my kids, are my daughter's a scrappy point guard, shooting guard.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: I always say, the toughest one in our family.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Sorry, ryder, he's listening, that's my son, but my son's got my, my sarcasm.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: He's got a quick wit, he's you know he's a good student, not a great student, but my dad would have been loved it.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: He would have just eaten it up, you know, oh gosh.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: I can't even imagine, can't imagine to to have a, to have a grandchild.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: That is elite at something.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: It's gotta be just so touching and inspiring Totally, that you know you started that chain.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: Where do you think your dad's generosity came from?
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: Not having anything right.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: He grew up in Baltimore.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: His dad was an immigrant from Ireland.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: You know his mom was, you know the Irish Catholic mom probably had the Bible out open on a regular basis and his dad ran a brewery.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: So he worked late and you know my dad said that his parents never came to anything that he ever did in sports.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: His dad never saw him play a sport because the sports were all after school and his dad was working, so he never had.
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: He grew up with nothing Wrong side of the tracks in Baltimore and Never missed a day of church Catholic right Shocking and just so.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: He kneeled down to pray before bed every single night and I think that that is the reason why I think that he felt like somehow he got lucky and he was going to hang on to that luck for dear life.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: I think he was, and I think he knew that he was given a blessing of not having all the smarts, not being the best businessman, but always being gritty and in the right place and doing the right thing.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: He always did the right thing and I think because of that he felt like he didn't deserve what he had.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: So he felt that he had to give it back and I felt, I think I think that this is part of the reason why he didn't give it to his children.
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: He gave it to others because he recognized that he had enough, that his kids were going to be just fine and he raised his kids in a way to be independent, that he wanted to give it to people, to not have to feel some of the pain that he felt growing up, and I think it lit him up, I think it made him feel that I think the way that he felt the best about himself was giving not accolades, not rewards, not recognition.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: Giving not accolades, not rewards, not recognition but seeing the, the, the, the light in other people's eyes when he gave them a hand up.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the more you give, the more you get.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: I have you heard of something called RAC Random Acts of Kindness.
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: It's funny that you say that Random Acts of kindness.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: It's funny that you say that Random acts of kindness.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: I had this rolling podium at my last job because I had a big sales department and when one side of the room was quiet, I would roll my podium over to that side of the room and make sure it wasn't quiet.
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: I had a lot of people that were doing outbound calls and one of the things that was a principle was that we would do random acts of kindness for each other.
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: It was a huge thing.
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: I had printed out a piece of paper and I'm dyslexic, so I had written uh, I think it was random kindness acts or something like that.
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: Like I had it backwards, that like I had it backwards and, uh, it became even more of a staple because the team was making fun of the fact that I had that.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: I had typed it up, so sorry, random acts.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: So I um, my son, um.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: So I met this guy named travis thomas who's a former guest, my podcast great dude, um great improv guy, um great speaker.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: He was a he's a coach for the united.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: He was, I think he's on the U S national team.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: A lot of mindset work part of IMG stud.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: People are looking up Travis Thomas.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: He's fantastic and he does this thing with his family called rack Friday, which they go out and they just do random acts of kindness together.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: So I was every year now, me and my son.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: You know it's not about the monetary value, but I'll get like a hundred.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: I'll get um, 10, um, uh, or $25 gift cards or 10, $10 gift cards at Starbucks and I'll give, you know, some to my son, some to my daughter, and it's our job to just go around and ask somebody that they've ever been racked before.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: That's so good.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: And we'll be like what does that mean?
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: And it's like well, here's five, here's, here's.
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: I've been racked, not in that way.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: Let me tell you Right, jump a fence.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: Right, but I, but like we're, we're, I'm, I would say, very lucky to be all.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: We belong to a golf club and I, every time I go through the front and I remember one day we, we, I asked her.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: I said you've been racked, for she's like what I go?
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: Happy holidays here's, here's a gift.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Because she's like what's this for?
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: I said it's random acts of kindness, enjoy.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: And I just left.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: She's like I'm so stealing this, do it man.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: That's the goal steal it and stealing it.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: And when you do it, go hashtag rack, rak, r-a-k, yep.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: And it's to teach.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: Because the thing that was always a fear of mine as a dad still is is, you know, the life we have is not the life I had grown up.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: I've been.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: I always say right guy, right time, right place.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: I was a corporate guy for 20 years.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: I had a very successful sales career 10 years number one salesperson.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was very guy for 20 years I had a very successful sales career 10 years number one salesperson.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was very lucky.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, great, Right guy right time, and we've been on more plane rides that we can talk about and I didn't have that life and so I worry about like I don't want my kids to think this is normal, how it is.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: Just how it is.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, whether you get.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: You know, you've been on a plane.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you get upgraded.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: Well, the whole family gets upgraded.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: Well, I didn't fly first class.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: First time I flew first class was in corporate.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: You know, like I always remind myself, I love that your dad said this is not your money, it's my money.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: Mark Cuban's dad said the same thing and Mark Cuban says to his kids I've heard him say that and so I'm like don't feel I don't want my kids feel guilty about the life, but I want to realize that the work that we did I did, my wife did, the way that she helped kind of keep me grounded, the way that she helped organize finances, didn't let me spend money on stupid things that I didn't need is why we have the flexibility to do now.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: And so, like this July and August, I purposely kind of slowed down, like my, the coaching work I do and speaking, because I got a son going off to college and I didn't want to be stressed out during that time.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be so present and I so yesterday I was talking to my son about this.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: I said I hope that when you're older, that you start, we can have conversations about kind of what's going on right now in our life.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: But, like dad, grinded his ass off in my twenties and thirties and there's times where I was on flights from seattle, dallas, dallas, jersey and that's our seattle dallas, dallas, atlanta, atlanta, jersey, jersey home, all between monday to thursday, so I can get home to be with you guys on the weekend.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: Don't feel guilty, I don't want to, but I want to make sure there's a lot of stuff that you goes on behind the scenes yeah to give me that flexibility where I'm at my career almost 50 to have the ability to work remote, do some remote things.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: Um, I still have a country club to go to.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I get a freaking go to a country club and yeah, you know, and I so, I, I guess I long would have diatribe here.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: But like, how do you, how did your dad or how do you, um, stay grounded, um, as a dad to else, to like maybe combat or work through those thoughts or work through those ways to teach your kids that you've found success.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: See, you have a lot more parallels to my father than I might.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: You're, because you're in that thing.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: Right, grew up with nothing.
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: I grew up with nothing, I grew up with everything.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: So for me it's.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: I battled a lot of regret and shame that I didn't handle that right early on, and sometimes you get a cold bucket of water dropped on you and it wakes you up.
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm coming.
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: I'm in the wake up phase right now in my life where, if my kids have seen anything, they've seen that no matter how bad it gets, you can turn around and you can get out of it.
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: And so the lessons that I maybe have in a in maybe not the greatest way, but I think the lessons that I've shown my kids is that, um, no matter how good it looks, it could be really bad underneath, and no matter how bad it gets, there's always a way to get out of it.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: I think that is the complete opposite of my dad.
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: To be honest with you, I think my dad was this is really bad, I'm going to get out of it and I'm going to give back.
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: I have another step in my journey that I have to bolt on, that I'm working on, which is to give back.
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: I haven't been great at that, but it is so in me to do, and part of that has to do with the fact that I was given so much and didn't take advantage of it in the right way, that I dug give back because I was able to dig out what ways do you want to give back?
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: Well, I think that I was given a gift of perspective and I tell people oftentimes whether it's an employee or a family member that I have made all of the mistakes already, so that you don't have to.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: I already made all the major mistakes and I can tell you there's no glory in it.
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: I already lost a bunch of time that I didn't need to.
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: So the way that I want to give back is by telling that story.
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: And you know, I certainly want to get to a place where I can give back a lot more financially, but I want to give back in spirit and my thing is like if I can ever say something or do something that makes it easier for just one person to have a better day, then I shame on me if I don't do that, the choice.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the difference between, I would say the difference between um recognition and appreciation.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: Recognition, as maybe a sales leader takes money, it takes like here's the jelly of the month club or here's 50 bucks to a restaurant.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: appreciation takes time, it's a choice and you just the the ability just to step.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: Hey, thanks for your hard work today.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: Hey, love your sweater.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: Hey, happy birthday.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: Hey, I remembered, um, that your son had a band concert.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: How do you like little things that go along the way, that make that change relationships, like those things I like think about to tell my kids, but I don't tell them.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: I ask questions so they can try to think for themselves as they come to the relation.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: Hi, this is Kathy Orton.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: I'm the director of talent management at CoWorks Staffing Services.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Coworks is one of the largest staffing firms in the United States, with operations in all 50 states, over 60,000 temporary field talent.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: We are devoted to the success and growth of our employees and our clients.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: We are celebrating our 50th anniversary this year and are proud to have a legacy of treating people the right way, doing the right thing, supporting our communities and putting field talent first.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: Our team places candidates in administrative light, industrial, call center, distribution, third-party logistic positions with additional opportunities through our executive search, creative staffing and luxury, beauty and fragrance divisions.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: We had the pleasure of having Casey Jaycox deliver a keynote presentation and training workshop to our sales team this year and I have to tell you it was exceptional.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Casey is funny, he is engaging and he is approachable.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: What sets Casey apart is that he really walks the walk.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: He lives what he teaches.
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: He spent time with us outside of the workshop, really taking the time to get to know our people.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: He shared information about his personal life, about his family, creating the foundation for authentic relationships, one of the core elements of the strategy he teaches.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: Casey left our teams feeling motivated, energized and armed with the actionable tools to transform their sales performance.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: I cannot recommend Casey enough to any or any organization looking to grow and unlock their full potential.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: If you want to learn more about co-work staffing, please visit our website at co-workstaffingcom.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: John, if you feel comfortable, is there a specific failure that you might be comfortable sharing that might speak to dads at home?
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: They're like, oh my God, I went through the same thing, how'd you?
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: get out of it?
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: Sure, yeah.
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: So I battle massive depressive anxiety disorder, that old massive depressive anxiety disorder.
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: When you couple that with drinking, those two don't go together Right.
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: So I'm proud to say 231 days sober lost 40 pounds back at church every.
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: Sunday, thank you.
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: But, boy, when you're a strong personality, like I am, and you are influential to others, there's a there's a really bad part of that, and that is that you are very strong in personality and influential to yourself as well, and you can.
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: I can tell myself things that I would never say to another person.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: My wife tells me all the time when we're playing golf we play golf together.
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: I got her in, I got her out there.
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: Now, finally, which is great, because now we're not only a wonderful couple, but we're buddies too, right, so that's always great, always great.
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: And she goes do you realize what you just said to yourself after you hit that shot?
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: Like, if you said that to me, I would tell you to drive me back to the clubhouse and I'd never play with you again.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: And I can't believe you.
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: Just like, every time I watch you have a round that isn't the round that you wanted to play, the things I she's like I'm gonna record the things you say to yourself and that's just tongue in cheek, you know, coming out of it now and she's serious, but not serious, but kind of serious.
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: That makes any sense.
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: But it helped me to have clarity that, oh my gosh, if I do that and the thing that I might be most talented at and most passionate about, my gosh, how do I do it in the things that I don't enjoy and that I'm not good at and that I struggle with.
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: So when you combine something that is a chemical imbalance, that I thought for the longest time that I was just strong enough as a man To get through it, I could get through this.
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: So I would get on medicine and I'd get through this, you know.
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: So I would get on medicine and I get off the medicine and you know I don't need this.
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: I'm a man, I don't need this stuff, right?
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: So I, I would get off of it.
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: And then you know, all of a sudden somebody, somebody flips me off in a wrong way or triggers me in a wrong way, or I get into something, and then the spiral starts and then you know you want to soften that spiral a bit.
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: So maybe you have a drink, you know, maybe.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: Then you know, maybe you have three or four more drinks and the next thing, you know you haven't had a night that you got home from work where you didn't drink a six-pack and um, it just, it just goes, it just spirals.
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: And during that time frame then you start to.
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: You know you start off really good like, oh, I feel great.
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: Next thing, you know, you start to really spiral.
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: And then it's a few more days, and then it's a month, and then it's a week, and then you're still hung on the thing that somebody said to you three months ago and you can't even pinpoint why the hell that pissed you off.
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: But you're, you're still pissed off, so it just set me into a spiral.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: And then that spiral starts to become really, really aggressive, negative self-talk.
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: And then it starts to become isolation, because, my God, I can't be around anyone if I'm thinking this way, like I can't be.
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: Who wants to hang with this?
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: So then you start removing yourself from anything that potentially could come at you.
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: That's positive.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: And then you almost want to feed the beast.
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: I almost want to be negative.
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: Come on, give it to me, make me feel worse.
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: So you start looking for ways to even feel worse and it just becomes a never-ending cycle.
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: Well, eventually that cycle has to come to an end and there's only two ways to end that cycle.
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: You either make a change for the positive and you find a higher power, and you find discipline and you find a way to do, and you find discipline and you find a way to do all the things that are uncomfortable, um and and um, and painful, until you get to the good nougat, you get to the good part.
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: But they're painful first because you have to have, like, self-realization and awareness and you have to write down all the things that you're are painful and you have to talk to people and you have to put your, your strength aside and have some humility and come to the realization that I can't do this myself and all those things.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: Right, have to work that plan.
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: You have to, you have to have the little three putts, the little three foot putts of life.
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: You have to do all the little three putt, the three three foot putt things of life to to get that repetition and um.
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I, I, I went through this thing where something set I can tell you, I can tell you something set me off in February of last year.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: I don't know what it was, but something set me off.
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: I felt it.
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: It took me darker and darker and darker and then, december 29th 2023, I was at the worst of the worst moments and something, some light, touched me and I woke up and I literally instituted all of these changes like that and just started journaling, started reading, resigned from one job, took a month off, found a new one where I'm at now just completely hit the reset button.
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: I apologize to my children, I apologize to my wife, to everyone that I know.
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: I remove myself from unhealthy relationships and friendships and whatever.
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: I found beauty in not isolation but being by myself inside, and I found beauty in silence, in reading and writing and setting goals and working plans, all the boredom of discipline that you have to have.
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: I found joy in that and have completely done a 180.
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: So if you are listening to this and you feel dark, you feel down, you feel out, you're not out.
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: Baby, I'm telling you right now you are not out, you're just getting started, because all the glory is on the other side of that, every great thing that has ever happened.
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: Because all the glory is on the other side of that, every great thing that has ever happened.
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: You know this as a quarterback, third and 15 in the games on the line.
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: You have the most fear in that huddle.
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: You have the most fear when you drop back.
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: All the fear is right before that 16-yard slant that you threw for the first down and then everything gets good from there.
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: You just got to attack the fear head on.
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: So I'm I'm glad that something touched me and I and I was given the power to work through that.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: Powerful brother.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: Um, you gave me goosebumps specifically when you said the date, december 29th, and I remember that was the day my dad died.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: Um, my dad fought alcoholism.
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: I remember that was the day my dad died.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: My dad fought alcoholism.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: My dad fought bipolar.
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: My dad was going, really he went, he got bad twice where he had to go through a psych ward and that was one of the scariest days of my life.
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: Seeing my dad in this place.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: I was in there.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: I was like fearful for my safety in this place, just because there were some people in really bad shape and my dad was so out of it I don't think he even knew Um, but then it it got, it got better and he, he, he got sober, um and um.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: But I just I love your vulnerability and confidence and strength and, um, just tackling this thing, dude, I think that's what I get, like what you just said.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: And again, everybody, john and I have known each other for 49 minutes now.
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: Never talked to a guy in my entire life.
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: And the power and what we're doing is you don't need microphones to have these types of conversations.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: It requires one ear, I mean sorry, one mouth, two ears, a little curiosity to really show in somebody and it's amazing, like I feel awesome right now because of your strength, and this, this conversation, is going to jack me up for the rest of the day.
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: Um, thank you.
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you bet, dude, it's just like.
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: I will tell you when you spend a Christmas in a psych ward.
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: When you spend a Christmas in a psych ward, which I did in 2000,.
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: Just December 19th I spent Christmas.
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: Can you imagine?
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: Three kids, I missed Christmas.
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: So you know I could have shame and regret from that.
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: Might have been the best thing that ever happened, because there's no going back now.
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: You either you either recover or you feel that more you, you continue to live that Right.
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: So people would think, oh God, people probably think I'm crazy for being this vulnerable and authentic and telling the truth and I probably have a knot in my throat right now.
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: But the fact of the matter is, the way that I look at this right now is I don't know what your reach is, but there's somebody somehow, by God's grace, that will hear this and go.
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: So we talked earlier about what gifts are.
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: That's my gift.
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: My gift is to be the one to take that bullet and to say the thing that maybe is uncomfortable because somebody needs to hear it, and I wish somebody would have said it to me two years ago.
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: I wish somebody would have been there to go dude, wake the F up when you think you're the strongest and toughest and whatever.
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: Maybe I wouldn't even have heard it.
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, it's, it was.
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: Uh, it was a thing, boy, I thought we were going to talk about something completely different and I'm really, I'm really.
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: This is relieving, I feel.
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: I feel like, uh, really good to to get this out, because you can't hide a part of your life.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: This was a chunk of my life.
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: I made those mistakes.
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: Now I get to be the one to correct them.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: Well, you, you didn't let the start stop you and I, I made a choice because you said that I could have.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: My curiosity was like well, what, what was the lesson?
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: And that's why I said, for whatever you feel comfortable with and to me that was a little scary asking because I don't know you.
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: But now I'm like oh, I did it.
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: And then you did it back and now we feel better and now we're going to touch someone else.
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: So here's the lesson right, if you're in sales, because that we're both sales, right that this is where really really good salespeople will go with a customer and where average salespeople will not, they will stay at the surface of their curiosity and because of that they will never find the emotional driver that actually causes somebody to buy really buy like, really really buy, not a product or service, but really buy something.
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: Where they go like they open up and they go look if this is the right decision.
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: Okay, old man Winters looks at me and says you're the next up for the promotion if I get this right, if me buying this product from you makes me the hero because we've solved this problem, there's more to it than price and product.
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: This changes the course of time for my career.
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: If you can get to that because you're curious and you're willing to get authentic and vulnerable, then guess what?
• 56:25
  Speaker 3: You will build a friend for life, any partner but, moreover, you get away from being transactional.
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: You now become an asset.
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: It's real hard to replace an asset.
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: It's easy to replace a transaction.
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: I can get a transaction anywhere, but I can't get Casey anywhere and Casey comes with that product.
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: Casey comes with.
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: He's part of the solution, right?
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: So I know that's a weird segue, but let's bring it back a little bit.
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: This is not just a podcast about being a father and about lessons of being a dad and a good human right.
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: There's a business element to this and if you do one, how you do one thing, here's another dad quote how you do one thing is how you do everything.
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: So you know, shame on me if I'm telling people they need to be curious and this is the way they should handle a sales thing and they should really dig deep enough and they should get through the layers and they should go beyond the surface and they should get emotional.
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: Well, how do you get somebody to get to that point if you aren't willing to go there first?
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: How do you get somebody to get to that point if you aren't willing to go there first?
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: So that's been my, that's been my philosophy on on on sales and content creation and branding and marketing is you, you got to give of yourself and be vulnerable and authentic If you expect people to go there with you.
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, man, I we could talk for two more hours, um, about this stuff, because, um, all the honestly, I'll say this.
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: So what you just said is a thousand percent the reason I wrote a book called win the relationship, not the deal.
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: It's all about winning people.
• 57:59
  Speaker 3: Well, you got a new.
• 58:00
  Speaker 3: You got a new buyer of your book.
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, appreciate it.
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: Uh, and I tell you, you don't write a, you don't write a book to make money, cause I think it's like I get three or four bucks a book, a book, so it's, I'm going to go out and buy a pack of gum, so, thank you, uh, uh, but just winning people is, I think, what it's what it's about, and I also a thousand percent agree with you.
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: Like when I, when I'm teaching humility or vulnerability, I tell stories of failure or struggle, what you just did today, like, and now you've, like, I feel, jacked up, inspired, um, uh, I'm hopefully going to say this there's, there's a individual that, uh, I had a disagreement with that.
• 58:38
  Speaker 2: I didn't realize I said something to offend him.
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: When we get done, I'm calling him and just going to apologize again.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: Good for you, just to make sure it's out of my body.
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: Cause takes one, reconciliation takes two.
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: Forgiveness is the magic of humanity.
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: Part of the reason why our society is struggling the way that it is is because we have lost forgiveness.
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: We cancel, and when you cancel you shut down communication.
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: When you shut down communication, there is no ability to give or accept forgiveness, and the first step to recovery is to forgive yourself.
• 59:16
  Speaker 3: That's the first step, and the more forgiving you are of yourself, the more you can be forgiving of others.
• 59:22
  Speaker 3: So I think that is brilliant of you and I think anyone on this.
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: So I think that is brilliant of you and I think anyone on this.
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: Find one person that you maybe need to forgive after you forgive yourself, and don't.
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: You were to summarize what we've talked about today in almost an hour, and we'll try to wrap things up here in a sec.
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: If you had to summarize what we talked about, john, what would be like two or three actionable tasks dads can take from our conversation today to become, hopefully, a better leader or quarterback of their household?
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: Well, the first thing that I have discovered is that it's not about you.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: It's about helping somebody to discover who they are to the max, to the max.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: So whatever your want is for your children, or your belief is of them, or what you think they should be or you want them to be, is awesome, but it's a little bit irrelevant.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: They are the creatures they are.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: You can only kind of help to steer what direction they go.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 3: So my thing would be take the time to figure out what they want and then be the person to help them to achieve that.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: You will run into all kinds of conflict and all types of walls if you try and get your children or your spouse to be who you think they should be.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: You can only help them be who they think they should be to the max.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: That would be number one.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: Young dads write that down.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: So powerful dude.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 3: Number two would be your story isn't written and completed until you decide it is.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: So if you've got some give up, you got to get rid of the give up.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: Your story is being written to your last breath.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: So if you don't like the story that you're writing, you guess what?
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: It's your book.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: You get to change the characters, you get to change the scenery, you get to change the interactions.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 3: So Everything's fluid.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 3: Just Don't give up, don't give in.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: And you know, visualize what you want to be, but be in the present.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: I've got a tattoo.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 3: It's actually a Pearl jam quote.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: I love Pearl jam.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: You'll like that.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: Being on Seattle, I hope Right.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: Um and one of their albums, um.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: They have a song called present tense and I think I don't know if it's the chorus or the hook, but it's.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: The line is makes much more sense to live in present tense.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: So I have a tattoo with an anchor because I'm going to stay anchored, and it's got a compass on it because I know where I'm going.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: Compass on it because I know where I'm going and the line across it, the, the written kind of like in scripture type of text, says makes much more sense to live in present tense and um.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 3: So I think it's really important to write out what your, what you believe, you are be grateful for what you have and um talk about the things that you want as if you already have them, and then live your present to get them, to make them come true.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: And it's tough to do that if you got to give up.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: You can't give up.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: Love it, man Gold.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: Tell me about how people can find you yeah, so uh, just launched my second podcast.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: Uh, both of them are brand.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: Both podcasts are brand sponsored.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 3: Um, but this is with my new organizations.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: As mentioned, I'm the vp of of uh brand and demand marketing for three organizations.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 3: One is ttsg total technology solutions group.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: The other is gsd technologies get shit done of.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 3: Brand and demand marketing for three organizations.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 3: One is TTSG Total Technology Solutions Group, the other is GSD Technologies Get Shit Done Technologies, and the third is 2020 Design, which is a marketing boutique firm.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 3: Our CEO is a visionary.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 3: He was a follower of mine on LinkedIn for my previous podcast.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 3: When I had resigned, he found out.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: He said let's come do this.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 3: So I came here.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: I said what's the podcast going to be called?
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: He said it could only be called one thing and that's the Get Shit Done Experience.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 3: So we just launched our podcast, the Get Shit Done Experience.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 3: We have a website, wwwgsdxpodcastcom.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: We're on YouTube, apple, spotify, anywhere that you'll find a podcast.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 3: I am all over LinkedIn.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: I manage seven different platform pages for all of the brands.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: I create a content piece or two a day for every one of them.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: My personal page I post every single day on there page.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 3: I post every single day on there and my cadence is inspire, inform, influence.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: So I'm not trying to sell you things.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 3: At the same time, I understand my role.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: So I'm going to talk about my brands, but 50% of the content that I create is going to make you smile, make you laugh, make you feel.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 3: And that's the cadence, because I know if I can get you to do that, then I will entertain you and I know that you go on social media to be entertained first, so I'm going to do that and then I'm going to inform you and maybe influence you to click on something, because I believe in what I do, and that's how you can find me.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 3: Send me a DM, don't pitch, slap me.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 3: And that's how you can find me.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 3: Send me a DM.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 3: Don't pitch, slap me, I will stiff arm you.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: If you pitch, slap me, do not pitch, slap me.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: No-transcript, I will stiff arm you.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 3: You know why?
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 3: Because I don't do it to other people.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 3: I want to touch your heart first.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 3: If I touch your heart enough that I earn the opportunity to do business with you freaking amazing.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 3: But I'm not going to ask you without building a relationship with you first.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 3: So you can find me on any of those platforms.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 3: I'm there, I'm vulnerable, I am authentic.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 3: I got nothing to lose.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 3: I got everything to gain and, by the way, you got nothing to lose and everything to gain by collaborating with me or speaking with me or reaching out.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: Gold Inspire.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 2: So good, uh, he has a.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: John has a video he did recently about power of connection.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: Um, he also has a video that came out, I think, today which, of a dude just going bananas like yeah, yeah like oh, it is so good about when you're like breaking the door down like a pro wrestler, which is fantastic.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: So, um, okay, I'll make sure this is linked in the show notes when this comes out.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: John, it's now time to go into the lightning round.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: Oh I love lightning rounds when I go completely random on you.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: Your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: My job is to try to.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: My job is to try to get you to laugh.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 2: Okay, true or false, your longest drive ever is 14 yards.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: False here we go Out of the gate.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 2: I just laugh, so we're tied.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 2: Okay, if I was to go into your phone right now, what would be?
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 3: the one song your sons would be shocked that dad listens to.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 3: Oh gosh, Um million dollar baby.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, um, true or false?
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: Uh, your favorite, your favorite sports team is the Dallas Cowboys.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: False, okay.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 3: False and false.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 3: Okay, chicago Bears, baby Hard knocks.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: It's on tonight, let's go.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: It's changing my life.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: Super Bowl shuffle.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 3: Yes, okay Tell me your favorite NFL quarterback of all time.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: Jim McMahon, better be Jimmy Mack.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: I was going to say has to be.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: You're a Bears guy.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: If you were to go on a vacation right now, you and your wife where are you going?
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 3: Pinehurst?
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 3: She's not going to be happy about it, but I would be.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: Pinehurst number two.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: I played it, I got rained out.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 3: We were supposed to play it.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 3: It was like lightning and thunderstorms.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 3: There's eight of them.
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 3: We played three or four of the other ones the other days, but we couldn't get out on two.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: It was terrible.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 3: I was with a bunch of successful millionaires that literally brought me because I'm a stick and I didn't have to pay for a thing.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 3: It was, it was amazing, and miss the one best part of it.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: But boy oh boy, that's probably another reason why I don't drink anymore.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 3: Those guys, Holy cow.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 3: The difference is they could get up the next day and be cool.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 3: So, but man, yeah, that would be where I'd go.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, true or false, I had the shanks on the driving range of pioneers Number two.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 2: False, true, so scary you did.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 2: I had the shanks.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 2: And then I was like, well, I got to start chipping.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: I started chipping shanks.
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my God, I'm playing Pioneer's with the freaking shanks.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: I'm going to shoot 1,000.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 2: First.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: So I pop up my drive down one.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 2: I'm in the rough and somehow, because it's tough to shank a ball out of the rough, oh, I hate you even saying the word.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 3: It gives me like it's scary.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 2: Well, they went away after the whole one.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 3: I didn't play well Some of the best rounds I ever had were the worst range rounds and some of the worst rounds I ever had.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 3: I was amazing on the range the worst rounds I ever had.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 3: I was amazing on the range and some of the best rounds I've had.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 3: I was so bad on the range, not shanks.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 3: I will admit this, though this is embarrassing I have thrown a club at the driving range because I had the shanks at the driving range.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: My 15-year-old was like Dad, it's a driving range on a Monday night, relax.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 3: I'm like.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 3: I feel like I forgot how to hit a golf ball.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 3: This was like a month ago.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: I'm like I don't know how to hit a golf ball right now.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 3: It's like the thing in my life I love the most.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 3: I can't hit the ball.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, a little bit of a temper on the golf course.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: If there was to be a book written about your life, what would be the title?
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: No Give All Grit.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 2: Okay Now.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: No Give All Grit.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: No Give All Grit.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: Netflix has found out about this, apple's found out about it, all Hollywood's now they're fighting for it.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 2: They're going to make a movie out about this new book.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: It's going to turn into a movie.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 2: John, you are the casting director.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: I need to know who is going to star you.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: Can't be you.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: Who's going to star you in this critically acclaimed hit new movie?
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: Middle-aged bruce willis.
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: I was thinking maybe that.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 3: Or vince vaughn with a chicago guy that'd be pretty cool I had somebody the other day, when I had my hat on, told me that I look like Bradley Cooper.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 3: And I think I need to buy them like a Porsche or something like that, because I can't even imagine where that compliment came from because it is so untrue.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 3: But I guess with a hat they saw that poor person had cataracts and I don't know.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 3: There must be something wrong with their vision.
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 2: OK, last question Tell me two words that describe your wife Delightful and gorgeous.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 2: Lightning round is over.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: We both laugh.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: I think I laughed more at my own jokes, which is why I'm a weird dad, not a good comedian play right there.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: No, but at least I guaranteed someone's going to laugh.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: It's me.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 3: Yes, amen, a good comedian play right there.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: No but at least I guaranteed someone's gonna laugh.
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: It's me.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 2: Yes, this has been an honor to have you on um.
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know you, but I feel like I've known you my whole life.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: Um, beyond grateful for your vulnerability, beyond grateful for sharing your story.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: I am so confident that our conversation today will help dads become better dads, which was the goal five years ago and the start of this thing.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: And, um, I know this is not the last time we will see each other.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 2: Hopefully, one day we'll play golf together, which will be fun.
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 2: I'll make sure you don't throw clubs.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 3: You can't be throwing clubs in the course, which I'll Hopefully, Casey, you will be in the Chicagoland area and you come in studio.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: Ooh there we go To get some experience.
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 3: So if you are passing through, you've got to send me experience.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 3: So if you were passing through, you've got to send me.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 3: I will roll out the carpet for you.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 3: We'll send a car to come get you.
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 3: We'll make a thing out of it, Cause that'd be fun.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 2: I want to flip the script and ask you questions, cause I got a lot to learn from you.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: That'd be fun, man.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you for your time.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: Thank you again for all of our sponsors.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 2: Thank you again for all the dads who are listening.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: Thank you again and I will say I'm John.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 2: Lastly, so for the first four and a half years, I was all audio.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: We're now making a switch to video, um, which it was a little fearful, I don't know why.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: It was just something new.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 2: So then, change and.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 2: But I'm like, eff it, we're doing it and I'm so excited for people to see you, see me, and hopefully they, as they saw us talking, engaged, say that they're going to get to know us better and want to do the same thing for others.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 2: But so great for your time.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: Everybody.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: Thank you again for all your support and I know.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 2: And if there's a last question, last thing, I'll say if you're a dad out there and you listen to an episode and you've not taken time to leave us review and wherever we house these podcasts, please do it.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 2: It means the world to me and it'll help create the algorithm to keep going.
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: So leave us review, do all that fun stuff, but again smash the subscribe button, folks.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 3: Come on, that's what the kids say.
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 3: Smash that button.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: Smash it up, baby.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 2: Let's go All right, dude, thanks again.
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 3: Cheers kid.