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Harnessing Positivity Without Losing Realism · Eye Opener Society

• 0:00
  Speaker1: Hi everyone, welcome to Eye Opener Society.
• 0:03
  Speaker1: I am bringing you another show here and it's a show that's a little difficult to get to.
• 0:09
  Speaker1: In full honesty and full disclosure, today I had a nervous breakdown, a bad one at that.
• 0:17
  Speaker1: I gained up enough energy where I'm able to get on here and do this show because
• 0:21
  Speaker1: this will be the last recording in the Eye Opener Society studio.
• 0:26
  Speaker1: From here, I don't know where we're going to go, but the show is going to go on.
• 0:32
  Speaker1: Having said that, we sat down and spoken together.
• 0:39
  Speaker1: Myself, Jennifer Miller, we actually speak a lot during the day,
• 0:43
  Speaker1: and it really makes the day go by so much faster.
• 0:47
  Speaker1: And we come up with so many topics together.
• 0:50
  Speaker1: And I've given a lot of creative control now over to her because she's got great
• 0:56
  Speaker1: ideas. and I like to take people's ideas and creativity, give them that voice.
• 1:01
  Speaker1: And that's exactly what I'm doing here.
• 1:03
  Speaker1: But when she mentioned this topic, it really struck home because many of you
• 1:09
  Speaker1: know that when I started this podcasting, I started with my own business,
• 1:13
  Speaker1: which was a meditation coaching business.
• 1:16
  Speaker1: It didn't go far for one reason.
• 1:20
  Speaker1: People wanted instantaneous results.
• 1:24
  Speaker1: I've been told through many other mediums and all that. I am a healer.
• 1:29
  Speaker1: I don't know exactly what it is I'm able to heal yet.
• 1:32
  Speaker1: That's my journey and I'm continuing on with that.
• 1:34
  Speaker1: But I feel I can help people through meditation. That could be one reason.
• 1:39
  Speaker1: But I don't sit here and just do breathing exercises with people.
• 1:43
  Speaker1: I get very deep because it was third eye meditation was to open up your third eye.
• 1:48
  Speaker1: And when I explained what was involved, clients backed away because,
• 1:53
  Speaker1: oh, it's going to take too long.
• 1:54
  Speaker1: We don't want to get into this. It's negative because I had to dig some of your
• 1:59
  Speaker1: negativity to make you realize more about yourself.
• 2:02
  Speaker1: And that's not negative. That is being a realist.
• 2:07
  Speaker1: And this is what Jennifer Miller brought up. So Jennifer Miller,
• 2:10
  Speaker1: hello. Welcome again to the show.
• 2:13
  Speaker1: All right. We've all been dying for this. So you heard what I've taken away
• 2:18
  Speaker1: from, you know, our conversation today. So why don't you just go ahead and explain
• 2:22
  Speaker1: it because you have the idea.
• 2:25
  Speaker0: So realist versus negative outlook.
• 2:29
  Speaker0: A lot of people will put that label of a negative person for someone that's a realist.
• 2:36
  Speaker0: And for me, a realist is somebody that sees both sides.
• 2:42
  Speaker0: They see the negative and the positive side, but they see how the situation
• 2:46
  Speaker0: is going to unfold and they just make that statement I know i've made plenty
• 2:50
  Speaker0: of statements where i'm just kind of like yeah,
• 2:53
  Speaker0: I think it's going to go this way And someone will look at you and be like that's
• 2:58
  Speaker0: really negative and you're thinking How I really hope it goes the opposite way
• 3:02
  Speaker0: and it turns out really good,
• 3:04
  Speaker0: but It's really looking like it's going to go this way and they label it as negative.
• 3:12
  Speaker0: Um so negativity like with
• 3:15
  Speaker0: people i usually feel those people only focus
• 3:18
  Speaker0: on the negative they're only going to think
• 3:22
  Speaker0: negatively it's going to be like someone trying to
• 3:24
  Speaker0: call themselves out of a hole but they just sit there and
• 3:27
  Speaker0: don't want to they don't want to see a good side
• 3:30
  Speaker0: to something they you know are always talking very
• 3:33
  Speaker0: negatively about themselves every situation um it
• 3:38
  Speaker0: could be someone that's like an energy vampire so when
• 3:41
  Speaker0: someone says somebody who's a realist is negative
• 3:45
  Speaker0: I always come to this conclusion that they
• 3:48
  Speaker0: just don't like what they heard just because you don't like something you hear
• 3:52
  Speaker0: doesn't automatically mean that person is a negative person um and it kind of
• 3:58
  Speaker0: makes me think you know okay you think they're negative and so when when they
• 4:04
  Speaker0: say that They start pushing toxic positivity on people.
• 4:09
  Speaker0: And that is where they want sunshines and rainbows coming straight out of your ass.
• 4:15
  Speaker0: They want you to breathe and produce unicorn farts.
• 4:20
  Speaker0: And sometimes, like you said, you have to get into the meat of the negative
• 4:24
  Speaker0: to look at yourself as a whole.
• 4:30
  Speaker0: And, you know, I think a lot of us all have realist, you know, tendencies.
• 4:35
  Speaker0: Like I feel like a good portion. There's some people that I feel are fake who
• 4:39
  Speaker0: really are the people that push that toxic positivity and, you know,
• 4:45
  Speaker0: when you're around them.
• 4:48
  Speaker0: But then when they get by themselves, you know, you often have to wonder,
• 4:53
  Speaker0: are they like sitting there and being very petty and negative themselves?
• 4:58
  Speaker0: And they're trying to like deflect. um, so I the reason I thought this which
• 5:05
  Speaker0: i'm gonna bring up is because You know with my small business, um I've had issues too.
• 5:11
  Speaker0: Just like you with people. They want quick fixes.
• 5:14
  Speaker0: They want The answers and sometimes you can't give that to people.
• 5:19
  Speaker0: Um Recently, I had a lady who wanted me to help her cleanse her house Because
• 5:26
  Speaker0: she felt there was really negative and i'm like,
• 5:28
  Speaker0: well, you can do this yourself and it's actually better if you
• 5:31
  Speaker0: do it yourself because if you want
• 5:34
  Speaker0: an energy gone and it's brought there by you
• 5:37
  Speaker0: it's best to be taken away by yourself and um
• 5:41
  Speaker0: and i gave her the list of things that she would need and i
• 5:44
  Speaker0: told her the things that you know she would need to think about while she's
• 5:48
  Speaker0: cleansing and things that she would need to say like positive affirmation type
• 5:51
  Speaker0: things um and not to smudge her stick out like not put it out but to to let
• 5:56
  Speaker0: it burn out itself and And we talked about this and she seemed pretty good with it.
• 6:02
  Speaker0: She left and I didn't hear back from her. So I ended up messaging her a week
• 6:06
  Speaker0: and a half later and asked her how it was going.
• 6:10
  Speaker2: And she said that,
• 6:11
  Speaker0: She's like, oh, I stopped because it just, it didn't seem like it was doing
• 6:14
  Speaker0: anything. And I was like, oh.
• 6:16
  Speaker0: And I'm like, well, how long did you do it? She was like, one day.
• 6:20
  Speaker0: I was like, oh, okay.
• 6:23
  Speaker0: So I was like, you know, sometimes like with, you know, egg cleanses or,
• 6:29
  Speaker0: you know, sage cleanses, I was like, you sometimes have to do them a couple
• 6:33
  Speaker0: more times to really start feeling anything.
• 6:38
  Speaker0: To feeling that it's going in the right direction.
• 6:43
  Speaker0: She did not like that. And so it was like, okay, I knew right where she was
• 6:47
  Speaker0: going with, you know, wanting it instantly.
• 6:51
  Speaker0: And so I've just been thinking really hard on a lot of things with my business
• 6:57
  Speaker0: and how I want things to go.
• 6:59
  Speaker0: And this kind of just popped into my head like people
• 7:02
  Speaker0: don't really want the realist part of it they want only the the positive but
• 7:09
  Speaker0: even if the realist is you know what's going to happen out of the whole situation
• 7:16
  Speaker0: it just yeah it doesn't really jive with them right.
• 7:22
  Speaker1: And i feel you the
• 7:24
  Speaker1: What we do, what we sell, so to speak, it's not like the perfect packages that
• 7:31
  Speaker1: you take off the shelf or something that's just promising cure.
• 7:35
  Speaker1: We are digging a lot deeper. It's soul-seeking.
• 7:41
  Speaker1: There's the whole metaphysical aspect behind it. Unless you really truly understand
• 7:46
  Speaker1: it, it's difficult to swallow.
• 7:48
  Speaker1: But people are approachable to it where they say, yes, I would like to try this.
• 7:55
  Speaker1: But when you do start to explain the things, some people are going to say,
• 8:00
  Speaker1: oh, I'll hear you through meditation and they're just going to sit down and
• 8:03
  Speaker1: do some breathing exercises and oh, this feels great because it's just lowering my heart rate.
• 8:09
  Speaker1: That's fine. You can do that. But on a higher level, when you really want to
• 8:14
  Speaker1: find out what is bothering you, I do remember one client,
• 8:19
  Speaker1: beautiful girl, very scared because she was, you know, I'm guessing she was psychic.
• 8:25
  Speaker1: She was seeing a lot of disasters.
• 8:28
  Speaker1: And she said, she didn't know if they were going to come true.
• 8:32
  Speaker1: I said, okay, well, we can bring this out.
• 8:34
  Speaker1: I said, but the problem is, I said, every time you have one of these,
• 8:38
  Speaker1: you know, visions, you need to write it down in detail. Get me every single
• 8:43
  Speaker1: thing you've seen, felt, smelled, whatever it may be.
• 8:47
  Speaker1: Write it down. Bring it to me. We could use that.
• 8:51
  Speaker1: It seemed, though, like this was too much work.
• 8:55
  Speaker1: She wanted to end the visions right away.
• 8:59
  Speaker1: And I can't do that. I could teach you through meditation how to focus on them
• 9:05
  Speaker1: better, where you could actually utilize it as a skill or a tool.
• 9:10
  Speaker1: Or if you have to, if it's really bothering you, how to tune it out.
• 9:15
  Speaker1: You know, my wife is the same way. She has these things going on constantly constantly.
• 9:21
  Speaker1: What frightens her is the fact that she doesn't know how to use it and she's
• 9:25
  Speaker1: still learning on how to focus on that and make it work for her.
• 9:29
  Speaker1: But it's difficult when you don't know.
• 9:32
  Speaker1: So when someone's giving in, this is always my problem. Like you said,
• 9:35
  Speaker1: we're a realist. If you came to me and you said, I want this.
• 9:40
  Speaker1: So I give you a whole package. Here it is. Here's the key to the universe. It has all the answers.
• 9:47
  Speaker1: You take it, you read it, everything comes to you And then you turn around and
• 9:51
  Speaker1: ask somebody else. I really need the answers to the universe.
• 9:55
  Speaker1: Once it's given to you, you need to know how to use it.
• 9:59
  Speaker1: You can't just keep moving on and on to different avenues.
• 10:04
  Speaker1: You could do that once you've heard and then seek other perspectives.
• 10:08
  Speaker1: But if you didn't get the lesson that was handed to you, it's like getting the answers for a test.
• 10:14
  Speaker1: Here's the answers for the test, but you don't use them. you'll go to somebody
• 10:18
  Speaker1: else and say, I need answers to the test.
• 10:21
  Speaker1: That's a realistic thing that goes on in this community. And I get it.
• 10:26
  Speaker1: And unfortunately, here's the other thing. I think it comes from other people
• 10:29
  Speaker1: that are metaphysical, not just from people who don't know anything about it.
• 10:33
  Speaker1: The gatekeepers, it must be done this way. It has to be done this way.
• 10:38
  Speaker1: You can't have your opinion on how you want to do it.
• 10:41
  Speaker1: And yet we're all individuals that have our own individual gifts.
• 10:47
  Speaker1: And that's how we channel, you know, channel stuff.
• 10:51
  Speaker1: I do things a certain way just because it works for me. If I try doing it another
• 10:55
  Speaker1: way, it's not going to work. It's going to kind of my energy.
• 10:58
  Speaker1: So we have to stick to what we do and it's not gatekeeping. We are going to
• 11:04
  Speaker1: do everything individually.
• 11:06
  Speaker1: And so I like listening to how some people do meditation. You know,
• 11:10
  Speaker1: I have no problem learning a new skill or seeing how it's done,
• 11:15
  Speaker1: but in the end, it's going to come back to what works best for me.
• 11:20
  Speaker1: And that's, I think where the problem is lying in this community.
• 11:25
  Speaker1: And if, you know, it goes from anything, it goes from your tea leaf readings.
• 11:30
  Speaker1: It goes to my meditation.
• 11:32
  Speaker1: It goes to Reiki sessions. It goes to tarot card readings.
• 11:36
  Speaker2: I,
• 11:37
  Speaker1: We need to understand that these things are all being laid out for you.
• 11:40
  Speaker1: Yes. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Yes.
• 11:44
  Speaker1: Are there going to be obstacles to go through it?
• 11:47
  Speaker2: Of course.
• 11:48
  Speaker1: It's best to know and understand these obstacles so you're better prepared for
• 11:52
  Speaker1: them. We can't just tell you there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
• 11:56
  Speaker1: Everything's going to be wonderful for you. It don't work that way.
• 12:01
  Speaker0: Even if you do have wonderful things happen, There's gonna be some bad things that come with it.
• 12:08
  Speaker0: I mean That that's kind of like, you know So like if you see a mountain in tea reading,
• 12:13
  Speaker0: you know, it means that you're gonna have to work on something Like if you have
• 12:16
  Speaker0: a goal if you have um A dream that you'd like to do and you finally decide that
• 12:21
  Speaker0: you're just you're gonna do it,
• 12:23
  Speaker0: A mountain right you think oh I'll
• 12:27
  Speaker0: get there You have to work to get up it
• 12:30
  Speaker0: you have to you know crawl blood sweat and
• 12:32
  Speaker0: tears practically sometimes um to get
• 12:35
  Speaker0: up there but once you get there it is good because
• 12:38
  Speaker0: you realize that you put in the work you realize
• 12:41
  Speaker0: that you put in it and it was like um kind
• 12:45
  Speaker0: of like a light going off like yeah i did the work like
• 12:48
  Speaker0: i'm the magic you know i'm i'm the
• 12:50
  Speaker0: part that you know really needed to see that and a
• 12:54
  Speaker0: lot of people seem like they want you just to they want to
• 12:56
  Speaker0: be spoon-fed you know you can take them to water like like
• 12:59
  Speaker0: especially with meditation you can take them to the water show
• 13:02
  Speaker0: them but they want you to spoon feed like they
• 13:05
  Speaker0: want you to do all the work for them so if
• 13:08
  Speaker0: you think about it if you're doing all that work for them they're not
• 13:11
  Speaker0: really getting anything out of it and so like that's what i say when i'm doing
• 13:15
  Speaker0: a tea reading if i see a mountain i'm like you're gonna have to put the work
• 13:19
  Speaker0: in you're gonna have to you know maybe make some sacrifices that you are not
• 13:25
  Speaker0: gonna like or you're gonna have to put in more work than you normally would have.
• 13:30
  Speaker0: And it's not going to be an easy challenge, but once you get there.
• 13:36
  Speaker0: It's going to be some smooth sailing. I mean, until the next, you know. Yeah.
• 13:42
  Speaker1: It's like a lot of the Wiccan and the witchcraft and all, when you mentioned
• 13:47
  Speaker1: magic, magic can happen, but magic isn't that instantaneous result.
• 13:54
  Speaker1: It's like whatever results you want.
• 13:56
  Speaker1: Yes. There are things that can get you there, whether it be colors,
• 14:00
  Speaker1: whether it be certain herbs, whether it be certain, you know, incense,
• 14:05
  Speaker1: uh crystals crystals and whatever it is
• 14:07
  Speaker1: you use these are just tools but they're only
• 14:10
  Speaker1: going to help guide you but you have to put in the work if you
• 14:14
  Speaker1: want something to actually happen it's not going to just happen it the individual
• 14:18
  Speaker1: is magic you have to start that course to seek it out to find it in order for
• 14:25
  Speaker1: it to happen you know i don't think there is anybody that waves that wand and
• 14:29
  Speaker1: something appears in front of you it's a that's a falsehood i
• 14:33
  Speaker0: Mean there's times that things have fallen in my lap and you know like.
• 14:37
  Speaker1: There's always work behind them yeah there's always work behind that though
• 14:41
  Speaker1: you know even the stuff falls into your lap it fell into your lap because of
• 14:44
  Speaker1: a series of events that taken place that you know your mind had set in motion that
• 14:50
  Speaker0: That is true yeah that is true um and that's part of the realist part with this like a lot of you know
• 14:59
  Speaker0: you have to be realistic with certain things like um people do have expectations and,
• 15:07
  Speaker0: it can be dashed when they find out that you have to do something um,
• 15:12
  Speaker0: to get to the point that you want it to and um it just it's one of those things
• 15:19
  Speaker0: like you have you have to be willing to put the work in and um that that's the part with the realist,
• 15:27
  Speaker0: and i think that that gets labeled as negative a lot um even when it's really
• 15:31
  Speaker0: not it's more just like it is what it is like this is you know you can't change
• 15:37
  Speaker0: it um and that's when people come in with their, their advice and,
• 15:43
  Speaker0: you know, well be happy that you, you know, you're alive.
• 15:46
  Speaker0: And it's like, well, yeah, I'm, I'm happy that I'm, I'm alive.
• 15:49
  Speaker0: I'm glad I woke up like that. That was definitely the cherry on top.
• 15:53
  Speaker0: I mean, but it still doesn't mean that there were things that I,
• 15:58
  Speaker0: you know, had to do throughout the day to get, you know.
• 16:01
  Speaker1: Right. It's, it's an everyday thing. It's surrealist way
• 16:04
  Speaker1: people are always going to be drawn into
• 16:07
  Speaker1: that um super positivity that toxic positivity that you mentioned if i'm here
• 16:13
  Speaker1: everything's going to be great jennifer everything's going to work out in your
• 16:16
  Speaker1: favor oh my god the whole world is bright you will be drawn into that because
• 16:21
  Speaker1: hey everything's going to be great somebody
• 16:24
  Speaker0: Wants to serve.
• 16:24
  Speaker1: But you know that's a toxic positivity.
• 16:29
  Speaker1: I know there are people that live their lives with 100% positivity at all times.
• 16:34
  Speaker1: However, when they break down to somebody else and they try and break it down,
• 16:39
  Speaker1: they realize right away that, oh, wow, what happened to that positivity?
• 16:44
  Speaker1: It's because you got to start somewhere and you got to start from the bottom
• 16:47
  Speaker1: and you got to work your way up.
• 16:49
  Speaker1: And it's not until you get to that positivity where you can stay there,
• 16:53
  Speaker1: you still got to go through the negatives.
• 16:56
  Speaker1: Listen, I had a nervous breakdown today, a nervous breakdown based upon what's
• 17:01
  Speaker1: going on in my life right now.
• 17:03
  Speaker2: But at the same time,
• 17:04
  Speaker1: I realize emotionally, this is what has to happen before I start getting to
• 17:10
  Speaker1: the better, you know, plateaus in my life and where I want to be.
• 17:14
  Speaker1: I'm a realist. I know that it's not going to be pretty. It's going to be a struggle.
• 17:20
  Speaker1: And sometimes it takes over. But yet, yes, there is that light at the end of
• 17:25
  Speaker1: the tunnel that I know will be there.
• 17:27
  Speaker1: But in order for me to get there, this is the path I have to go down.
• 17:31
  Speaker0: And I like it's not permanent right.
• 17:34
  Speaker1: It's definitely not permanent the pendulum always swings Right,
• 17:38
  Speaker0: And that's that's the part that I think a lot of people like,
• 17:43
  Speaker0: you know Positive people do have their bad days.
• 17:45
  Speaker0: They do have like those depressive episodes.
• 17:48
  Speaker0: They do have Um something that brings them
• 17:51
  Speaker0: down The part that makes you negative though
• 17:54
  Speaker0: is you set up camp and you stay there people
• 17:58
  Speaker0: that are positive they know that this is just a cycle it's
• 18:01
  Speaker0: gonna go they might have to work through it they might
• 18:03
  Speaker0: have to just wait it out but they know that
• 18:07
  Speaker0: there's light at the end of the tunnel like you said people that
• 18:10
  Speaker0: are truly just negative though they they
• 18:13
  Speaker0: don't see that they don't feel that they really do feel
• 18:16
  Speaker0: like they're swallowed by just a black satin sack
• 18:19
  Speaker0: basically you know um and and
• 18:23
  Speaker0: they kind of find comfort in it and i said that was satin because
• 18:26
  Speaker0: you know comfort um and i
• 18:29
  Speaker0: really truly feel like those are people that are few and far
• 18:32
  Speaker0: between i feel like a lot of people are usually stuck
• 18:35
  Speaker0: in that realist area and they
• 18:39
  Speaker0: might lean towards negativity but i really feel that a lot of a lot of people
• 18:43
  Speaker0: aren't so wholly sucked into the negative bitterness you know that can happen
• 18:51
  Speaker0: so there's that and i always feel like those people that are really super toxic and positive,
• 18:57
  Speaker0: I feel like they're actually kind of a part of that negative group that doesn't
• 19:02
  Speaker0: see their way out in a way because they're so...
• 19:07
  Speaker0: Set on telling people how they need to feel and how happy they should be,
• 19:12
  Speaker0: that they're ignoring themselves in a way that they're not seeing like the real them.
• 19:18
  Speaker0: So like they could be positive people that really are happy and pushing that,
• 19:24
  Speaker0: that fakeness onto people.
• 19:26
  Speaker0: But a part of me always is like, I think they're probably really unhappy, you know?
• 19:32
  Speaker1: Very well said. I like that. And with that folks, I, I, appreciate everybody tuning in again.
• 19:39
  Speaker1: And the more you tune in, the better off this is going to be,
• 19:42
  Speaker1: because like I said, at this point, Eye Opener Society, at least the studio, is no more.
• 19:49
  Speaker1: We are going to be doing more shows. And we're definitely going to be doing the live talk show.
• 19:55
  Speaker1: And that's going to be from wherever I am at the moment.
• 19:59
  Speaker1: But it's still going to keep coming to you. Like I said, there are steps I'm going to be taking.
• 20:03
  Speaker1: And this has been a perfect topic for that.
• 20:07
  Speaker1: So keep tuning in, iOpenerSociety.podbean.com. Don't forget,
• 20:12
  Speaker1: we have our other podcasters on there.
• 20:14
  Speaker1: We have Ann Lund's Haunted and Waiting, Elaine's Arcane Oracle,
• 20:18
  Speaker1: and Sunset Child's Out There podcast.
• 20:21
  Speaker1: I know everybody's still waiting on Ann Lund's. I think because of the holiday
• 20:24
  Speaker1: season, she's kind of wrapped up and busy, but she should have something out for us at any moment.
• 20:30
  Speaker1: And as soon as it's out, we'll definitely put it up for you.
• 20:33
  Speaker1: So please keep tuning in and keep listening because we're going to be blowing
• 20:38
  Speaker1: your minds when we do our live talk show, which will be in the second week of January.
• 20:43
  Speaker1: We'd have to practice that because if you think Jennifer Miller's got so many
• 20:47
  Speaker1: ideas right now, just wait till she's unleashed.
• 20:50
  Speaker1: I'm looking forward to it, buddy. I really am. So thank you again for tuning
• 20:55
  Speaker1: in and we'll see you on the next episode. Thank you for joining us.