Latest / Forged In The Dark / Build the Thing That Won’t Let You Quit
Transcript
- Forged In The Dark: You will drop everything in a second for the friend that calls and needs a favor, even if you do not know how to perform the task, you will figure it out on the fly. No hesitation. But what about that promise that you made to yourself? Why all of a sudden has it become negotiable? Welcome to Forged in the Dark. I'm your host, Jamie. Let's dig in. For those of you who don't know, I have two boys. They are a brand new 18 year old and a 21 year old. And instead of traditional gifts for their 18th birthdays, I chose to gift them an experience. Now, the new 18 year old, he has a list and he's got great options, and I am super excited to see what he chooses. And the moment he chooses is the moment that I get to start planning and bring it into action, bring it into reality. But today I want to tell the skydiving story because that's what my oldest son chose to do for his 18th birthday. And that's exactly what we did. Now I was really excited when he chose skydiving. I I remember standing in the kitchen when he asked me. And I looked at him and I said, heck yes, we can do that. I have wanted to skydive since I was about your age. And and I just put all of the plans into motion. This was planned far in advance. And he turns 18. And here we go. We show up, we go through all of the trainings, we suit up, we go down the the sidewalk to the the airplane, we board the airplane, the airplane is full. We have had multiple opportunities to not go. They they gave us, they gave us the opportunity. They said very clearly, if you think you are going to get up there and change your mind, change your mind now on the ground. And I looked at my kid and I said, Are you sure you're good? And he said, Mom, I'm so good. I'm so excited. Let's go. And I said, Okay, I am so good. I am so excited. Let's go. So we're up in the air, and for whatever reason, I was the last one off the plane. Everyone went before us. And the moment I stepped up to the door was a moment of osnot, snot, snot. I don't want to do this. Every fiber of my being went on high alert. And seriously, it wasn't snot, snot, snot, but it was snot. I don't want to do this. I change my mind. And then next thing I know I am hurling through the air. And this makes me think of the choices that we make, the commitments that we keep, and the infrastructure. To to make sure those commitments happen. When I get asked questions about my tagline, Habits That Holds When No One is Watching, people are always so curious. How do you do that? And ladies and gentlemen, it all begins with your choice. It does not matter if you are jumping out of an airplane or if you are showing up to a meeting prepared or anything else in life, in work, in business, in relationships, to show up and do the work from a place of integrity because you honor your commitments. When it comes to the moments where you have to do the work when no one is watching, number one, you must choose in advance from a calm state. My child chose the commitment. He chose, he chose what he wanted to do. That was our first choice. I bought the tickets. Another choice, another commitment, right? So we go down the line. But there's another step. You get to create a system. You get to create the infrastructure that makes the action a non negotiable. So imagine you're at the door of an airplane. You made the commitment, you went through all the steps, you're here, and now you want to bail and not bail out the door. You don't want to go out the door. But what happened in that moment, The choice was made in advance. And the commitment was strapped to my back. There was no way I wasn't going out that plane, no matter how scared, no matter how terrified I was in that moment. So you make the choice in advance, and then you get to create the system to make sure that you show up. You will not always have a man strapped to your back as your commitment in life. So the choice that you make ahead of time. That is number one, the most important thing. And the system to make sure that your success is inevitable must come next. think about, think about working out. Think about going to the gym early in the morning. Number one, you make the choice ahead of time. Number two, you set your alarm. Number three, you set out your clothes. And if you really think that there might be a chance that you're not going to make it, sign up for a class that you have to pay additional money for. It the choice is so important. The choice is number one, but without the infrastructure. To make sure that that commitment is held, you may find yourself negotiating with yourself. When your friend calls and they need support, they need help, you jump right in. I'm there for you. there's there's there's multiple ways we could look at this too. why is it easier to show up for others than to show up for yourself? Why is it easy to show up for others and then feel busy and feel productive without getting the actual work done that you need to do? If you really want to get to a place in life where you can look yourself in the mirror and know that you are a person that shows up. Not just for others, for yourself. You see, you do you make these commitments to yourself, and every time you keep the commitments to yourself, you build self-trust. And every time you negotiate with yourself, every time you don't show up, every time you don't go out that door, you create more seeds of doubt. You reinforce That the negotiation is okay. No Had I not had that man strapped to my back, I may have balked. But it was the commitment that I needed in the moment, in the moment that my central nervous system said no, the infrastructure was in place to make sure that it was going to happen. So today I really want you to Look at one choice, that you keep negotiating with yourself about. Just one. And it doesn't have to be a big, huge thing. You don't build self-trust overnight in one big boom. You don't start showing up for yourself the way you show up for others in one dramatic moment. It happens in all the tiny choices, all the small choices. The choice to choose to drink water instead of soda. The choice to get out the front door and go on a walk instead of scrolling social. so think about one thing, one thing that you keep letting yourself down on, one thing that you keep negotiating. And I want you to make the choice in advance. And I want you to create the infrastructure that makes the action inevitable. Okay, that's what I have for you today. Until next time.