Latest / Thrive After 45® | Life After 45, Self-Trust, Midlife Women / Your Body Isn't Betraying YOU with Angel Altman

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Your Body Isn't Betraying YOU with Angel Altman · Thrive After 45® | Life After 45, Self-Trust, Midlife Women

• 0:01
  Hello, and welcome to today's episode of Thrive After 45.
• 0:06
  I'm Denise Drinkwalter, midlife mirror and mentor, and every week, I am so honored to share energy and space with inspiring guests whose stories reflect so many possibilities of thriving beyond 45.
• 0:21
  Together, we'll uncover the whispers of the heart, the power of midlife transformation, and the wisdom that fuels expansion because when one woman turns her light on, the rest of the room catches fire.
• 0:37
  What if the body isn't betraying you?
• 0:41
  What if it's actually trying to talk to you, and you just haven't been taught the language yet?
• 0:48
  For nearly 30 years, my guest today has stood at the bedside as a nurse, but some of her deepest education came from a different kind of classroom.
• 0:58
  Autoimmune disease, hormone shifts, menopause, chronic stress, poor sleep, weight that wouldn't behave.
• 1:07
  She knew something was changing inside her body, and like so many women, she didn't always have the words for it.
• 1:16
  So she started paying attention, not just to symptoms, but to the patterns, the way stress in the nervous system and hormones and gut health and inflammation all talk to each other quietly underneath everything else that's going on.
• 1:32
  That noticing became a mission.
• 1:34
  It became Tea of Life Apothecary.
• 1:38
  It became her work with SA Integrative Health, and today, it's become a life spent helping women reconnect with their own bodies and reclaim the confidence to ask better questions instead of settling for those easy answers.
• 1:55
  Because here's what she wants every woman over 45 to hear It's menopause.
• 2:03
  It's not the end of the conversation, it's the beginning of one.
• 2:08
  My guest today, Angel Altman, LPN nurse, herbalist, health educator, and founder of Tea of Life Apothecary.
• 2:18
  So great to have you on the show today.
• 2:21
  Thank you for joining us.
• 2:23
  Thanks so much for having me.
• 2:26
  So I'm...
• 2:27
  I read everything that you have out into the world, and I'm like,"Holy smokes, you have to be on our show," because you are exactly what our community needs to hear about.
• 2:40
  We need to understand all of the pieces that come together behind the scenes that we don't even know, like gut health.
• 2:49
  Tell us about that.
• 2:50
  Tell us about inflammation.
• 2:51
  Tell us about...
• 2:52
  Menopause is not just one sliver.
• 2:55
  No.
• 2:55
  Right?
• 2:56
  Tell us.
• 2:56
  Right.
• 2:58
  Okay.
• 2:59
  So you have some people who enter into menopause- Mm-hmm and it's like the easiest transition of life.
• 3:05
  Mm-hmm.
• 3:05
  And they're so happy, and they're- they're relaxed, and they're like,"Oh, I didn't have hardly any hot flashes." And then you have some women that start in their mid to late 30s, and they battle this dragon- Ugh into their mid to late 50s.
• 3:17
  Mm.
• 3:18
  And so from- from my perspective- Yeah and from my experience- Yeah I've seen so many women around 35 to 40 start coming, coming into the doctor with multiple symptoms.
• 3:30
  Yeah.
• 3:30
  I have hot flashes.
• 3:31
  I can't sleep.
• 3:32
  I have leg cramps.
• 3:33
  Mm-hmm.
• 3:33
  I have brain fog.
• 3:34
  I have all of these things, and there are three words that- that are usually told to them, perimenopause, menopause, postmenopause.
• 3:43
  Hmm.
• 3:43
  All those symptoms are lumped together.
• 3:45
  Yep.
• 3:45
  And, and they're basically just told,"It's a fact of life.
• 3:48
  This...
• 3:49
  You're just gonna have to ride the train.
• 3:50
  We can help with this.
• 3:51
  We can do, you know, pellets.
• 3:53
  We can do this.
• 3:54
  We can do that." Uh, but nobody really talks about the reason most- Mm-hmm of us experience these really intense symptoms is because when we were in our late teens, early 20s, you know, early 30s, our diet plays a big role, our stress- Mm-hmm our thoughts, our processing, our gut health.
• 4:15
  Mm-hmm.
• 4:15
  Whether we did birth control when we were younger or if we didn't, all of these things contribute- to the symptoms we're having, you know, now that we've entered that magical perimenopause to postmenopause range.
• 4:28
  Right.
• 4:29
  And, and a lot of women feel helpless.
• 4:31
  They really do.
• 4:31
  Yeah.
• 4:31
  Yeah.
• 4:31
  Because they're told this term, and they're given little breadcrumbs, so to speak- Yeah of ways to address this symptom or that symptom, but nobody really says,"Hey, you know, your, your coping mechanisms, your diet- Mm all of these things are the biggest contributor, along with your, your liver health." Yeah.
• 4:50
  So liver health is one of the biggest factors as to whether you're gonna have a lot of hot flashes or very little, because your liver has to break down and process all of the hormones in your body.
• 5:01
  So if your liver's overburdened by a high processed diet, lots of sugar, a high pathogen load, a high toxin load, whatever it may be, if the liver- Mm-hmm is overburdened, it cannot break down our hormones effectively.
• 5:14
  And then we hit that 35 to 55 age range.
• 5:17
  Mm-hmm.
• 5:17
  We start having all of the symptoms.
• 5:19
  Our thyroid starts acting a little funny.
• 5:22
  And, and but it's all one big loop.
• 5:23
  That whole hormonal system is one big loop.
• 5:26
  Right.
• 5:26
  And women really need to be empowered with- Yes information- Yeah so that they can say,"Hey, you know..." Especially young women, you know?
• 5:35
  Yeah.
• 5:35
  "I'm in my early 20s.
• 5:36
  I'm grabbing that quick coffee and out the door, and oh, I'll, you know, I'll be fine with my 60 grams of sugar in it," not realizing you're setting the foundation for- Mm-hmm hormone disturbance, you know, imbalances in your gut, all kinds of other things that are gonna catch up with you down the road.
• 5:52
  So, oh my gosh, my mind's blown right now.
• 5:54
  I'm like,"Holy smokes." I love what you're sharing because you're talking about there isn't one thing that you can go,"Yep, I'm here and this is all I need to do." Sounds to me like there's a lot of understanding about your, past in terms of how you have dealt with consumption of food, stress, all of the pieces.
• 6:16
  Mm-hmm.
• 6:17
  So how do we say, our general audience, I know we have younger listeners, and thank you for that.
• 6:23
  but how do we at,"Okay, I can't go back in time.
• 6:27
  What can I-" Right do now as a result of,'Okay, yep, it's good to thi- oh, yeah, I always used to grab that chocolate bar and I'd survive until supper.
• 6:36
  It didn't matter.'" Right?
• 6:38
  Right.
• 6:39
  and, and it didn't, you know, it didn't land on the hips or the belly like it is now, thank you very much.
• 6:45
  Right?
• 6:45
  That's another whole thing we're gonna get into.
• 6:47
  You can only outrun it for a short time.
• 6:50
  There we go.
• 6:51
  It, there is a limit, right?
• 6:53
  Yes, yes.
• 6:53
  And I'm, I'm feeling it the, I'm feeling it these days, I'll tell ya.
• 6:57
  But how do we as women, I'm gonna say 45, thrive after 45?
• 7:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:02
  We're in the midst of it.
• 7:03
  What do you recommend that we do, to take a better handle now?
• 7:08
  What can we do in the moment now?
• 7:10
  Yeah.
• 7:10
  And I'm sure what we just said probably, probably does sound like,"Oh, well, you know, if you're not in your 20s, you can't change it." It's...
• 7:15
  Yeah, right?
• 7:15
  Yeah.
• 7:15
  Right.
• 7:15
  So you can do a lot to change it.
• 7:15
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:18
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:18
  You know, the body is this amazing organism that can adapt and change and, you know, and I hate to use this analogy, but- The body is much like a puppy.
• 7:30
  You can be really mean- Yeah to a dog, and then- Yeah if you put your hand out, that dog will come back and it'll let you pet it.
• 7:36
  The body, you can abuse it for years, and the minute- Mm you start giving it what it needs, the body's like,"Oh, yes, she has seen the light." Aw.
• 7:44
  And it, it's ready to rise up and meet you.
• 7:47
  Now, we are not gonna get back that 20-year-old body.
• 7:49
  I don't want anybody- Of course thinking, you know, that's gonna happen.
• 7:51
  Fair.
• 7:52
  But things that you can do is you can do a lot to stop- Yeah the damaging and the disease process, and in some cases you can s- actually reverse the damage or the disease pro- pro- process.
• 8:03
  Okay.
• 8:03
  so first and foremost, we wanna start with the liver health.
• 8:06
  Yeah.
• 8:06
  We wanna make sure we're supporting that liver, giving it everything that it needs, and taking away the things that overburden it.
• 8:13
  Processed foods, you know, lots of sugar, alcohol.
• 8:17
  And that's not to say you can't never have a glass of wine, but- Sure instead of going out and having four or five drinks on the weekend- Yeah limit it to one or two.
• 8:24
  Mm-hmm.
• 8:24
  Make sure that you're hydrating afterwards.
• 8:26
  Make sure that we are providing the body the, the basic vitamins and, and minerals that it needs every day, and we don't get those from our diet anymore.
• 8:35
  Right.
• 8:36
  so those are things that women can start doing today- Yep that are gonna make huge differences.
• 8:41
  Mm-hmm.
• 8:41
  You know, moving forward, so our culture is taught women have all of these balls in the air, and we have to juggle them all.
• 8:48
  You know, we should all be- Mm in the, in the woman circus because we can juggle- Yeah all these balls.
• 8:52
  Kids- Yeah and parents and spouse- Yep and job, and it's just all of these things, and then you add social media in, and you look over and you see- Mm your friend Kelly is not just juggling all of her balls, but she's running her own business, and she's got a side boyfriend.
• 9:06
  Joking.
• 9:06
  Yeah.
• 9:07
  But, you know, all these things.
• 9:07
  Yeah, yeah.
• 9:07
  But yeah.
• 9:07
  She's got all this time- Yeah for all this stuff.
• 9:11
  Mm-hmm.
• 9:11
  And you're like,"Man, how does she do it?
• 9:14
  I'm sitting here in my bathrobe, you know, drinking my coffee.""It's 10:00 o'clock.
• 9:17
  I haven't even got the day started, and I don't- Yeah feel like doing it." Yeah.
• 9:21
  Where does she get the energy?
• 9:23
  And a lot of times social media is one of our biggest hindrances.
• 9:26
  Mm-hmm.
• 9:27
  Because Kelly may have gotten up and she may have put her makeup on and made life look really good, and she's sitting there with her coffee thinking,"Okay, I've done that.
• 9:34
  That's all I can do today." s- we have this, this burden of keeping up with the Joneses sp- so to speak.
• 9:40
  Yeah.
• 9:40
  Or keeping up with the Kellys.
• 9:41
  Yep.
• 9:41
  Yep.
• 9:42
  You know, just keeping up with- Yeah all of these other women that we compare ourself to.
• 9:47
  And we have, you know, learned behaviors and learned things that add to that stress.
• 9:52
  Yeah.
• 9:52
  We have maladaptive coping mechanisms that may- Mm-hmm have served us at one point in life.
• 9:57
  Mm-hmm.
• 9:57
  But as we age, they've actually become, they become very detrimental to our health.
• 10:02
  Right.
• 10:03
  But women are taught to give away our health for everybody around us.
• 10:07
  That's how people know they're loved.
• 10:10
  And a lot of the work that I do is Bible based, and so the Bible doesn't tell us to love others more than ourself.
• 10:16
  It tells us to love others as ourself.
• 10:19
  Mm-hmm.
• 10:20
  So we have to care for ourself as much as others, and there are multiple studies.
• 10:24
  Two women, very similar- Mm-hmm backgrounds.
• 10:27
  Mm-hmm.
• 10:27
  grew up very identical, very identical marriages.
• 10:29
  Both of them end up with stage III, stage IV breast cancer.
• 10:32
  Mm.
• 10:33
  One lives, one dies.
• 10:35
  Why does one live?
• 10:36
  How does one survive?
• 10:38
  The one that died, usually when you read their obituary, they were taking care of others right up till their last day.
• 10:43
  They took care of their c- their children, their grandchildren.
• 10:46
  They cared for their ailing parent.
• 10:48
  They took care of their best friend.
• 10:50
  And these are admirable traits, but they took care of them and traded away their health.
• 10:55
  The person who survives- Mm-hmm advocates as hard for herself as she would if her spouse was diagnosed or her child or her parent.
• 11:03
  She is right there, you know, pushing for the best treatment for those people.
• 11:06
  Mm-hmm.
• 11:06
  She pushes for the same thing for herself.
• 11:09
  Yeah.
• 11:10
  And, you know, it's not to pump us up or to say we have to love ourself more, but to love ourself equally.
• 11:15
  Equally, yeah.
• 11:17
  And so when we start making these small changes, and so many women, you get caught in the day to day.
• 11:23
  You get caught in the grind, and you- Yeah put yourself last.
• 11:27
  Mm-hmm.
• 11:27
  And what people don't realize is putting ourself last, even though we tell our children,"You've gotta love yourself, and you're amazing," children don't love themselves like we tell them.
• 11:38
  Right.
• 11:39
  Children love themselves like they see us love ourself.
• 11:42
  Love that, yeah.
• 11:43
  A reflection- And so- a modeling, yes.
• 11:45
  Yes.
• 11:46
  And so when Mom and Dad struggle with setting boundaries, when Mom and Dad- Mm-hmm struggle with loving themself- Mm-hmm those kids grow up in that environment, and many of us grew up in that environment.
• 11:57
  Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
• 11:58
  So it's time for us to learn now in our- Yeah middle of life.
• 12:02
  You know, this is- Yeah where wisdom comes to us.
• 12:04
  Yeah.
• 12:04
  This is where we gain enlightenment.
• 12:06
  We're done making the, the stupid mistakes of youth.
• 12:08
  Yeah.
• 12:08
  Now, we're ready to be, you know- Yeah older and wiser and, and- Yeah more in control of our lives.
• 12:13
  Mm-hmm.
• 12:13
  And it starts with taking care of ourself, loving ourself, supporting our body, removing, you know, all of the- detrimental things- Yep, yep that are holding our body back.
• 12:25
  Mm-hmm.
• 12:26
  And a lot of times just with those few changes, it's night and day in the way the body responds.
• 12:31
  I can see how that would be a reality.
• 12:34
  I really can.
• 12:35
  when we start, w- it's the whole premise of our show.
• 12:37
  When we do it, what- whatever we are thinking about, we get to reflect back, how does this serve me?
• 12:48
  For you, by you, because of you.
• 12:50
  And I love what you're saying in terms of when you care for everybody else and don't equalize by caring for yourself in the same way.
• 12:59
  We're not saying,"Don't care for others anymore." Right.
• 13:02
  "Just worry about yourself." You said it very clearly.
• 13:05
  You should do exactly what you would do for, somebody else you love, you need to do the exact same thing for yourself.
• 13:13
  Mm-hmm.
• 13:14
  As hard as it is, and it's only hard...
• 13:17
  And, you, you can share what your thoughts are on this, but for me, what I'm seeing, it's only hard because we've been programmed to believe you shouldn't do that because that's egocentric, and we have learned that that is absolutely the most detrimental, as you spoke about, when we don't give back to ourselves.
• 13:35
  Yes.
• 13:36
  And we can do that, like you've already given exact, excellent examples.
• 13:40
  You can start today, right?
• 13:42
  Taking that time, do something for you, by you, because of you.
• 13:45
  Listening to this episode and going,"Oh, I never thought of that.
• 13:50
  I can start that." That's a, that's a step.
• 13:53
  You're doing something for you, right?
• 13:54
  Right.
• 13:54
  By you, because of you.
• 13:57
  Is there anything you would wish for every woman over 45, let's say, to understand about her body before she actually entered into menopause?
• 14:09
  Perhaps they're not there yet, so yeah.
• 14:12
  Is there anything- Your body is much like the computers we're working on right now.
• 14:19
  Every program is downloaded onto that.
• 14:21
  And if you've had, you know, if you've had a program or a computer for years, you can go back and find files from decades ago, right?
• 14:30
  your body's the same way.
• 14:31
  Your body has all of these files- Mm-hmm and it has them from decades.
• 14:35
  It has them from before the day you were born.
• 14:38
  So all of that stuff is already in your body.
• 14:41
  Now, I'm gonna take a little step back.
• 14:43
  Sure.
• 14:43
  so every egg your mother- Yeah was going to have was in her body the day she was born.
• 14:49
  So in essence- Mm-hmm cellularly, you were in your grandmother's body.
• 14:53
  Okay?
• 14:53
  Yeah.
• 14:54
  So let's say Grandma- Mm-hmm used birth control at some point.
• 14:58
  Mm-hmm.
• 14:58
  Grandma had a high-stress life because she raised 15 kids- all under the age of 10.
• 15:03
  Yeah.
• 15:03
  Grandma, you know, maybe Grandpa got killed young, or maybe- Yeah he wasn't in the picture, or maybe he just worked a lot and was very stressed himself.
• 15:12
  So Mom grew up in this stressed environment as a child.
• 15:17
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:17
  All of that got encoded onto her cells.
• 15:20
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:20
  Then you come along.
• 15:21
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:22
  And you grew up in Mom's environment, and maybe your dad, you know, was a truck driver and wasn't home.
• 15:26
  Or maybe- Sure he worked 14 hours a day, or maybe he just had a lot of stress himself and was not emotionally available.
• 15:34
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:34
  And you grew up in this environment of, you know, lack of emotion, a lot of high stress.
• 15:40
  Maybe Mom and Dad lived paycheck to paycheck.
• 15:42
  Right.
• 15:42
  Yep.
• 15:42
  You know?
• 15:43
  So you lived in this- Yep environment.
• 15:45
  All of that gets encoded on your body.
• 15:47
  That alone- Yeah sets your nervous system- Mm to be dysregulated.
• 15:53
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:53
  So we have to work on the nervous system, and we also have to realize that that nervous system impacts everybody living with us.
• 16:01
  Because- Mm-hmm you know- Mm-hmm if you've ever had that one family member where they come in the room and everybody's like,"Oh." Oh, yeah.
• 16:07
  "Aunt so-and-so is here.
• 16:08
  Everybody be quiet.
• 16:09
  Don't get her going," or- Yeah"Uncle so-and-so's here, and he's really grouchy." Sure.
• 16:14
  The whole room shifts- Yeah when they come in because of their nervous system and their, their attitude that has come with that.
• 16:20
  Right.
• 16:20
  And it changes everybody in the room.
• 16:23
  Yeah We learn that- Mm-hmm and we can do that to others.
• 16:27
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:27
  And so, when we've grown up that way, that already sets our nervous system to be on edge.
• 16:32
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:32
  Then we add in the pathogens, we add in the diet, we add in all of these other factors.
• 16:38
  Yeah.
• 16:38
  So, you know, if you're younger and you're wanting to make changes, support the liver and start really focusing on your nervous system- Mm, mm-hmm and bringing that back into a state of calm.
• 16:48
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:49
  If you're in, you know, the 45-and-up club- Yeah, yeah there are multiple things that you can do to start helping the nervous system calm down.
• 16:57
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:57
  I don't say return to a state of calm, because I just laid out the path.
• 17:01
  There was never calm for it to return to, so it doesn't know- Right what calm feels like.
• 17:05
  Right.
• 17:05
  Yeah.
• 17:05
  And so when you see these places say,"Oh, we're gonna get you back to calm," your body's like,"What's that?" What's calm?
• 17:12
  Because a lot of times through our medical practice when we help people to calm down- Mm-hmm they start crying.
• 17:18
  They start feeling a little panicked.
• 17:20
  Yeah.
• 17:20
  They get very sleepy.
• 17:21
  They feel...
• 17:22
  A lot of them will say,"This doesn't feel right.
• 17:24
  What's wrong?" Mm.
• 17:25
  You...
• 17:25
  Something's wrong, because their body has never experienced that, so it f- it's, it's strange that calm feels foreign to them.
• 17:33
  Sure.
• 17:34
  So nervous system and liver health are two of the best things that people can start with.
• 17:39
  Mm-hmm.
• 17:39
  you know, there are multiple ways that you can do that, and not one way works for everyone.
• 17:43
  Good point.
• 17:44
  I wish it did.
• 17:45
  Yeah.
• 17:45
  But, you know- Saying to one person, you know,"You can meditate and do certain movements that'll help calm the vagus nerve and bring the body to a calm," just the idea of meditation, they're ready to come out of their skin.
• 17:56
  They haven't even gotten to the point where they can sit still, and you want them to meditate.
• 18:00
  Yeah.
• 18:00
  other people, there are things that you can do that get them to a level where meditation isn't quite so scary.
• 18:07
  Right.
• 18:07
  Yeah.
• 18:08
  So there's always things that can be done, and the nervous system and liver health are two of the best places to start.
• 18:14
  So when you're talking about the variety of things, what types of things would you recommend to start with to, to understand a bit more about your nervous system?
• 18:25
  'Cause it's not always something we take time to reflect upon, and I think this is- Right really important, right?
• 18:31
  So is there something in particular that people can start to do to even understand that,"Ooh, I, my nervous system is a little off-kilter.
• 18:41
  I didn't even realize it"- Right"'cause this is how I live life.
• 18:43
  This is just who I am." Right.
• 18:44
  Yes.
• 18:45
  Yes.
• 18:45
  And women do.
• 18:46
  We live our life- Yeah in a state of fight or flight.
• 18:48
  Yeah.
• 18:48
  Mm-hmm.
• 18:48
  Or, we live our life in a state of freeze.
• 18:51
  So if you live in fight or flight, most of the time you either have anxiety, maybe you go back and forth between anxiety, depression, maybe you've been diagnosed with bipolar.
• 19:00
  Mm-hmm.
• 19:00
  those can be associated with that.
• 19:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 19:02
  If you're in a state of freeze, you may have chronic constipation, you may completely dissociate, you may find yourself, when you get overwhelmed, it's just kind of like you shut down and you're just kind of like,"Hmm." Yeah.
• 19:12
  "I'm checking out mentally.
• 19:13
  I go through the motions, but then I'm like wait a minute, what did I do?
• 19:17
  How did I get here?" Right.
• 19:18
  So many people don't realize that's not normal.
• 19:21
  Yeah.
• 19:21
  That's not normal.
• 19:22
  That is your nervous system taking over.
• 19:25
  Mm-hmm.
• 19:25
  And so there are multiple ways that you can do it.
• 19:28
  Two of the easiest, you can get- Yeah the wearable ring.
• 19:31
  I think they have an Oura Ring or something like that.
• 19:33
  Yeah.
• 19:33
  Yeah.
• 19:34
  It will show you throughout the day areas where you're stressed- Ah the way your body's responding.
• 19:37
  Mm-hmm.
• 19:39
  And it allows you to see in real time how you're handling various situations.
• 19:44
  you can put different apps on your, watch- Yeah and wear that.
• 19:46
  Yeah.
• 19:47
  That's what I have.
• 19:47
  Mine actually pops up every so often, which it did when I got started here.
• 19:51
  And it'll say, you know,"Be aware, be aware," and it'll give me a number.
• 19:54
  Yeah.
• 19:55
  And then I know, okay, it's time to do a quick check.
• 19:57
  Sure.
• 19:58
  And one of the best things for me at that time is I do some breathing.
• 20:01
  Yeah.
• 20:01
  I have a couple of things I do with my eyes to kind of bring myself back- Yeah to a state of calm.
• 20:05
  Yeah.
• 20:06
  But those are two very easy ways.
• 20:08
  Now, they, there is a, usually a cost associated with it.
• 20:10
  Right.
• 20:11
  But, you know, and I've had people say,"Oh, I can't afford$300." Yeah.
• 20:14
  And maybe you can't right now.
• 20:16
  Right.
• 20:16
  But you save up for it, or, you know, there's other- Right probably cheaper alternatives.
• 20:20
  Yeah.
• 20:21
  But the thing is, you're gonna pay for it- Yeah one way or- You know, you're going to pay- Yeah for it one way or another.
• 20:28
  Every purchase, every food choice we make- Yeah, yeah we're making a choice to feed a disease process or healing process.
• 20:36
  Right.
• 20:37
  We're choosing supplements or, you know, modalities for a disease process or healing process.
• 20:43
  Right.
• 20:43
  Yeah.
• 20:44
  And so it's always a choice.
• 20:46
  We get to make that choice- Mm-hmm but we're not free from the consequences of the choice we make.
• 20:50
  So those are two of the easiest ways, is the watch or the, the ring.
• 20:54
  Mm-hmm.
• 20:54
  Mm-hmm.
• 20:54
  Um, there are other, modalities that you can buy.
• 20:57
  There's a couple of wearables, I think, that are like necklaces and stuff.
• 20:59
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:00
  And there's, like, the Fitbit one.
• 21:01
  Sure.
• 21:01
  There's different things.
• 21:02
  Yeah.
• 21:02
  You find what meets your budget.
• 21:04
  Yeah.
• 21:05
  Yeah.
• 21:05
  But they all give- Absolutely great information.
• 21:08
  It's a great place to start, because then it doesn't take the onus on you.
• 21:12
  Ooh, am I stressed out right now?
• 21:14
  How do I know?
• 21:14
  Like, you get in your head, and then it gets too busy, and you...
• 21:17
  this is too much work, and you just put it aside.
• 21:19
  Right.
• 21:19
  Where you get feedback from a mechanism outside of your system, but it's able to, point and- Mm-hmm pull apart, oop, like you say,"Oh, yep, going into a conversation my I'm elevated a little." And you can bring yourself back to a strategy that works for you, that's quick and easy, and this is what you get to do, right?
• 21:39
  You get to make these choices.
• 21:41
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:41
  And- Mm-hmm I love how you shared, you know, you can choose,"I'm gonna stay on the path of disease and stress," or,"I'm gonna stay on the path of healing." And it's not an overnight thing, I suspect.
• 21:52
  It's a- It is not right?
• 21:53
  And that's good, because if it were overnight, it's gonna die out.
• 21:57
  It's a- Yes change in how we live our lives, giving back to ourselves, for you, by you, because of you, right?
• 22:04
  Yes, yes.
• 22:05
  And there's a quick point there.
• 22:07
  Yeah.
• 22:07
  s- so most of us, if we grew up in a chaotic environment, children- Yeah take responsibility for things that aren't theirs.
• 22:14
  Mm.
• 22:15
  That's just what we do as children.
• 22:16
  Yeah.
• 22:16
  We assume...
• 22:17
  Because our world is so small, we assume everything is because of us or for us or as a result of us.
• 22:22
  Sure.
• 22:23
  Yeah.
• 22:23
  And so if there is chaos or if there is dysregulated nervous systems, a lot of times we internalize that.
• 22:29
  If we have parents- Mm who have low self-este- steam and don't love themselves- Mm-hmm we learn that.
• 22:35
  And so as we grow, we take on this low self-love.
• 22:40
  And when I work one-on-one with people, I usually ask them, the very first question is, is,"On a scale of one to 10"- Mm one's the worst, 10's the best, how much do you love yourself?
• 22:49
  Mm-hmm.
• 22:49
  I mean, really love yourself in comparison to your spouse, your children- Yeah your parents, your best friend.
• 22:56
  If you love your spouse at a 10- Mm-hmm do you love yourself that way?
• 22:59
  And most of them will say,"Oh, about a six or a seven." Yeah.
• 23:02
  Okay.
• 23:03
  So starting with that six or seven, you lose a point for every question.
• 23:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 23:08
  Do you do things out of obligation?
• 23:10
  Well, yeah.
• 23:11
  Do you do things when you don't have any energy in the tank?
• 23:15
  Mm-hmm.
• 23:15
  "Well, yeah.
• 23:15
  I mean, you have to.
• 23:17
  I'm a mom." And I'm like-"No." And then you ask these questions, and what we find is their true love score is usually about a two or a three.
• 23:25
  Two?
• 23:25
  Yeah, that's good.
• 23:26
  Yeah.
• 23:27
  Yeah.
• 23:27
  So at a level one, two, or three- Mm-hmm we tend to talk to ourself very harshly.
• 23:33
  Mm-hmm.
• 23:34
  "You idiot.
• 23:35
  Oh, my gosh." Yeah.
• 23:36
  "You are so stupid." Yeah.
• 23:37
  "Why did you do..." Yeah.
• 23:37
  We're very rude- Yeah very harsh.
• 23:39
  Yeah.
• 23:39
  We should speak to ourself as if we're talking to a three or a five-year-old child.
• 23:44
  Most of us do not.
• 23:46
  Right.
• 23:47
  And so if you wouldn't say to your three or five-year-old child or grandchild- Yeah what you just said to yourself, then you're kind of talking to yourself wrong.
• 23:56
  Yeah.
• 23:56
  You know?
• 23:57
  It's, it's wrong.
• 23:58
  And so one of the things that you have to start with is that internal dialogue.
• 24:03
  Yeah.
• 24:04
  And it isn't easy.
• 24:05
  It's not overnight.
• 24:06
  Of course.
• 24:06
  And in the beginning, it feels really, really foreign because, well, you've never done that.
• 24:10
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:10
  And actually, most of the time, nobody else has done that either.
• 24:13
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:13
  Your spouse may say nice things.
• 24:15
  Your kids say,"I love you." Mm-hmm.
• 24:16
  But nobody talks to you gently.
• 24:18
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:18
  Nobody talks to you in that comforting manner.
• 24:20
  And it, again, it feels foreign.
• 24:22
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:22
  And so when we start making those changes- Yeah and if you make a mistake, you know, you get up, you're rushing around- Yeah you get frustrated, and- Mm-hmm now you're stuck in traffic because you just couldn't get out the door earlier, and you're beating- Mm yourself up.
• 24:33
  "You idiot.
• 24:34
  What were you thinking?" Yeah.
• 24:35
  Yeah.
• 24:35
  The minute you catch that, you go back- Yeah and you apologize.
• 24:39
  Yeah.
• 24:39
  Because if I was to yell at you and call you names and talk to you harshly, your body will start tensing up.
• 24:44
  Yeah.
• 24:45
  You're either getting ready to fight, or- Yeah you're tightening up to flee- Yep to freeze, whatever- Mm-hmm your response is.
• 24:52
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:53
  Your body doesn't understand the difference in the speaker.
• 24:55
  Of, of course.
• 24:55
  It just responds to the words.
• 24:57
  Yeah.
• 24:57
  So if you're yelling, if you're being mean, if you're being rude, your body's tightening up, and then you walk around all day and you're like,"Oh, gosh.
• 25:04
  Why is my neck and shoulders...?" Because you've done that.
• 25:07
  Yeah.
• 25:08
  And so when we go back and apologize, if I've offended you and I say- Mm-hmm"Oh, my gosh, Denise, I should have never said that to you." Mm-hmm.
• 25:14
  "I am so sorry," you instantly feel your body release.
• 25:16
  Yeah, yep.
• 25:17
  You know, accountability has been taken, responsibility.
• 25:18
  Yep.
• 25:19
  Amends have been made.
• 25:21
  Yeah.
• 25:21
  The body relaxes.
• 25:22
  The danger's over.
• 25:23
  Right, yep.
• 25:24
  But we never go back and apologize to our body.
• 25:27
  Mm-hmm.
• 25:27
  We just pile more on.
• 25:28
  Yeah.
• 25:29
  So learning that self-love, learning to go back and apologize, speak gently- Mm-hmm it literally can start impacting our nervous system instantly.
• 25:38
  instantly.
• 25:39
  Again, it is such a forgiving organism.
• 25:41
  Mm-hmm.
• 25:41
  And the minute that you start treating it that way and talking to it gently, it's like,"Oh, she's my new best friend." Yeah.
• 25:46
  You know?
• 25:47
  Right.
• 25:47
  It's just, it's so quick to, to respond.
• 25:49
  Yeah.
• 25:50
  And, and the result of that, I suspect, is when your energy changes, and I've witnessed this myself, incredible how the room, you talked about the room energy- Mm-hmm when somebody comes in- Mm and you're,"Oh, here they come," everything can change the exact opposite way- Absolutely when we have that self-talk.
• 26:13
  So noticing the self-talk and actually going,"Wait a minute, would I say this to, to, to, to, to, to, to these people?" Right.
• 26:19
  "Oh my gosh, I would never even think it,'cause they're so great." Whoa, that's your lens for you as well, so start flipping- Right that over.
• 26:26
  I love that.
• 26:28
  Amazing.
• 26:29
  So beautiful.
• 26:30
  And we have the power to do all of this.
• 26:33
  We don't need outside help to- Right get that done.
• 26:36
  It's all in our own hands.
• 26:38
  Yes.
• 26:38
  So again, deciding whether you want to continue disease, feeding the disease, or feeding the healing, right?
• 26:45
  Absolutely.
• 26:46
  And I loved how you shared, too, doesn't mean we don't make mistakes.
• 26:49
  Hello, that's part of the growth journey, right?
• 26:51
  Right.
• 26:51
  So we don't beat ourselves extra hard because we were,"Oh, I promised myself I was gonna do this." I mean, we do that all the time, don't we?
• 26:58
  Right.
• 26:58
  Ah.
• 26:59
  I, I'm, I'm never good enough.
• 27:01
  No, no, no, no, we're not going there anymore.
• 27:03
  Mm-hmm.
• 27:04
  Right?
• 27:04
  Mm-hmm.
• 27:04
  Yeah.
• 27:06
  Before we close, is there anything that we haven't I know there's so much, we could go on and on, but is there anything that you would love to leave our audience with?
• 27:16
  surrounding the whole menopause and- Mm-hmm and 45 and up club- Yeah most of those symptoms can- Mm-hmm all be traced back to a low vitamin D level.
• 27:27
  So knowing your vitamin D level- Okay and supplementing with that is imperative.
• 27:32
  Mm.
• 27:32
  Also, a really good daily multivitamin- Mm-hmm as well as making sure that you're taking one that has a proprietary blend that focuses on female health.
• 27:42
  So, you know, make sure it's got, you know, chasteberry in it.
• 27:45
  make sure it's got, you know, just different herbs in it as well.
• 27:48
  Okay.
• 27:48
  there's a couple of different r- companies I recommend, but- Sure making sure that you have that foundation- Yeah because we're entering into a beautiful phase of life.
• 27:58
  Mm-hmm.
• 27:58
  But the body needs a lot of support to be able to- Yeah make this transition.
• 28:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:03
  And as we make these other things, we're shedding a lot, and that's a, that's- Mm an emotional detox, and we need that as well.
• 28:09
  Right.
• 28:09
  And so this isn't a time to be looked at as,"Oh, gosh, I've gotta get through it." Here we go.
• 28:15
  Yeah.
• 28:15
  This is the butterfly, you know?
• 28:17
  We're coming out of the cocoon.
• 28:18
  We are, we are now becoming somebody who is at a point in our life where we should be reducing stress and becoming our optimal person.
• 28:26
  Right.
• 28:26
  Not surviving.
• 28:27
  Mm.
• 28:27
  We've survived for years.
• 28:29
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:29
  It's time to stop surviving, and now to really- Ah step in and be the person we want to be.
• 28:35
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:35
  Yep.
• 28:36
  Because the only person that's keeping us from that, the only thing- right here.
• 28:42
  Yeah.
• 28:42
  Yes.
• 28:42
  A- and if you're not watching and you're listening, she was pointing to herself.
• 28:46
  The only- obstacle is ourselves, so we get- Absolutely out of our own way, and we're on the road.
• 28:52
  Yes.
• 28:52
  Yes.
• 28:53
  Yeah, it's an opportunity, isn't it?
• 28:54
  It's an opportunity- Yes to, like you say, this...
• 28:57
  That was then, and I've done all of this.
• 28:59
  Now what's next for me, by me, because of me?
• 29:02
  Yeah.
• 29:03
  Mm-hmm.
• 29:03
  Totally.
• 29:03
  Totally.
• 29:04
  Yeah.
• 29:05
  we will have in the show notes how to contact you, where people can find you.
• 29:10
  so when you're listening to this, always pop into the show notes so you can grab all of the information to see all of the incredible content that Angel shares.
• 29:19
  And what a privilege and an honor.
• 29:22
  I knew it would be an amazing conversation, and I learned so much.
• 29:25
  So thank you so much for being here with us today.
• 29:29
  And before we close, I do want to share something gently.
• 29:34
  This November, we are going to be hosting a live in-person experience.
• 29:39
  It's called Ignite the Inner Uprising, two days where women are coming together and- It's an extension of these conversations where we're going to step into our own sovereignty in a room full of women.
• 29:54
  It is going to be held in Vancouver, Canada, and we are so excited.
• 29:59
  November 12th and 13th this fall, 2026.
• 30:04
  So book your calendars, get your name on the wait list.
• 30:08
  All of the information to do so is in the show notes as well.
• 30:12
  And make sure that you follow, like, share, give us a review so more women can find these incredible conversations, and there always is a place for us to gather.
• 30:27
  Angel, thank you so much for your wisdom, experience, and brilliance, and sharing so many amazing tips today.
• 30:34
  We appreciate you, and we are glad you are in our corner as women thriving after 45.
• 30:42
  Well, thank you for having me