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Who's That Girl? Eve Reveals All · QUESTION EVERYTHING

0:04
Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
0:08
Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe, and each week my guests
0:12
Speaker 1: and I have conversations that put a new spin on pretty.
0:17
Speaker 1: This is pretty smart. Our next guest needs no introduction,
0:22
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna give her one anyway. Today we're sitting
0:26
Speaker 1: down with Eve Johan Cooper. Though you probably know her
0:29
Speaker 1: by just three letters, Eve.
0:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, they want to know. Yeah.
0:37
Speaker 1: Eve is back in the spotlight with her new memoir
0:39
Speaker 1: Who's That Girl, reflecting on a career that broke barriers,
0:43
Speaker 1: shattered expectations, and paved the way for so many women
0:47
Speaker 1: in hip hop. But let me take you back for
0:49
Speaker 1: a moment. At just fifteen, Eve was determined to leave
0:55
Speaker 1: her hometown of Philadelphia. She knew she had the talent, vision,
0:59
Speaker 1: and the drive to make it on the world stage.
1:02
Speaker 1: She told her mom, if I haven't made it by seventeen,
1:05
Speaker 1: I'll give up. But Eve didn't need to worry about that.
1:09
Speaker 1: By seventeen, she was signed and moved to LA to
1:12
Speaker 1: work with Doctor Dre, believing she would be the first
1:15
Speaker 1: Lady of Aftermath. But like so many young artists, she
1:18
Speaker 1: learned the hard way that the music industry can be
1:20
Speaker 1: so brutal. Eve was shelved, a term that means being
1:24
Speaker 1: stuck in limbo, waiting for your moment while the industry
1:27
Speaker 1: looks the other way. Defeated, she moved back home to Philly,
1:31
Speaker 1: feeling crushed by the weight of her unfulfilled dreams. But
1:34
Speaker 1: fate wasn't done with Eve yet. Through a twist of
1:37
Speaker 1: chance and persistence, she found herself driving out to Yonkers
1:41
Speaker 1: to meet the Rough Riders, the powerhouse crew behind DMX.
1:45
Speaker 1: That meeting changed everything. She became the first lady of
1:49
Speaker 1: Rough Riders, breaking into a fiercely male dominated space with
1:54
Speaker 1: nothing but grit and undeniable talent.
1:57
Speaker 3: I knew I didn't want to wear regular life.
2:00
Speaker 2: It was Duodiaphomy.
2:02
Speaker 1: Her debut album sold two hundred thousand copies in its
2:04
Speaker 1: first week. It hit number one on the Billboard two hundred.
2:08
Speaker 1: Eve became only the third female rapper to ever achieve
2:11
Speaker 1: that milestone. She made history again when she snagged the
2:14
Speaker 1: first Grammy Award for Best Rap Sung Collaboration with let
2:17
Speaker 1: Me Blow Your Mind, her iconic platinum single with Gwen Stefani.
2:22
Speaker 1: But Eve wasn't just making music, No, she was making
2:25
Speaker 1: moves her career became a masterclass in reinvention, showing women
2:30
Speaker 1: everywhere that they could carve their own paths. She started
2:33
Speaker 1: in her own sitcom, Eve, becoming only the second female
2:37
Speaker 1: rapper after Queen Latifa to do so. She launched a
2:40
Speaker 1: successful clothing line. Do you all remember Fetish? This happened
2:44
Speaker 1: long before celebrity fashion brands were the norm. I'm talking
2:47
Speaker 1: before j Loo's clothing line even existed.
2:49
Speaker 2: Okay.
2:50
Speaker 1: Eve knew she wasn't just anyone's first lady. She was
2:53
Speaker 1: a trailblazer. She writes in the book. I realized that
2:57
Speaker 1: if the music industry wasn't gonna let me be the
2:59
Speaker 1: first woman of their universe, then I had no choice.
3:03
Speaker 1: I had to leave and go build my own. But
3:05
Speaker 1: as Eve knows all too well, that's easier said than done,
3:09
Speaker 1: especially in an industry that's notoriously merciless the.
3:14
Speaker 3: Business itself, especially in my experience at that time, it
3:18
Speaker 3: just wasn't friendly to women.
3:19
Speaker 1: In her memoir, Eve lays it all bare, the drinking, drugs,
3:24
Speaker 1: diet pills, anxiety. She describes the feeling of being trapped
3:28
Speaker 1: in her own mind, battling exhaustion in a devastating lack
3:33
Speaker 1: of sisterhood in an industry that often pitted women against
3:36
Speaker 1: one another.
3:37
Speaker 3: I definitely think I was depressed. I also think I
3:40
Speaker 3: was lonely.
3:41
Speaker 2: I was more fearful of losing myself.
3:44
Speaker 1: While most female rappers kept her at arms, late, a
3:47
Speaker 1: few women had her back. Hip hop legends like Missy
3:50
Speaker 1: Elliott and Queen Latifah offered their support. She said Lauren
3:54
Speaker 1: Hill was kind, but beyond that, Eve was largely left
3:58
Speaker 1: to navigate the industry on her own. And that's why
4:00
Speaker 1: she says to this day she gives big sis energy
4:03
Speaker 1: to any female rapper that calls her. She'll hop on
4:06
Speaker 1: a song, join them in the studio, give them an ear.
4:09
Speaker 1: You know. Through it all, Eve has stayed true to herself,
4:12
Speaker 1: her style, her voice, and I think her fearlessness became
4:16
Speaker 1: a symbol of strength for women. Her iconic paw print
4:20
Speaker 1: tattoos reflect her grit. She faces fear head on and says,
4:25
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it anyway.
4:27
Speaker 3: Fear has just always been annoyingly a companion of mind
4:31
Speaker 3: for at years. I know one is not just anxiety
4:34
Speaker 3: when it is actual fear. There's a different tangling in
4:37
Speaker 3: my chest.
4:38
Speaker 1: In who's that girl? Eve does not hold back. She
4:42
Speaker 1: takes us through the highs and the lows, the bad relationships,
4:46
Speaker 1: the alcohol, the insecurities, the anger, the infertility struggles, and
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Speaker 1: the pain. But she also introduces us to the Eve
4:55
Speaker 1: of today, a woman who lives in London, happily married,
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Speaker 1: raising her on along her four step kids, and embracing
5:02
Speaker 1: what she calls her soft life era. So what does
5:06
Speaker 1: that look like for a woman who spent her entire
5:08
Speaker 1: life fighting her way to the top. Let's find out.
5:15
Speaker 2: Eve.
5:16
Speaker 1: Welcome to Pretty Smart.
5:17
Speaker 2: Thank you, Eve.
5:18
Speaker 1: I cannot even tell you how excited everybody is that
5:21
Speaker 1: you pop back out. You know how many dms I
5:25
Speaker 1: got from friends looking at your fashion this whole week.
5:28
Speaker 1: The Burgundy outfit, Yes.
5:30
Speaker 2: We went fool Burgundy. Yes, thank you.
5:33
Speaker 1: How does it feel being back?
5:35
Speaker 2: So it's always nice.
5:36
Speaker 3: It's always nice, especially because I've been living in London
5:39
Speaker 3: for so long. I will say, the way in which
5:42
Speaker 3: I'm back with this book feels a bit naked. I'm
5:44
Speaker 3: not gonna lie, but the love I've been getting just
5:47
Speaker 3: in the city has been amazing.
5:49
Speaker 2: Yeah.
5:50
Speaker 4: I read your book in two nights. I loved it
5:52
Speaker 4: so much.
5:53
Speaker 2: Wow, thank you.
5:54
Speaker 1: I laughed at all the nicknames you had. We have
5:58
Speaker 1: turtle because you would run from the cops. Yes, they
6:01
Speaker 1: would catch you.
6:02
Speaker 2: They would.
6:03
Speaker 1: The guys that you battled in high school called you
6:05
Speaker 1: gangsta yep. The rough riders called you the pipple and
6:08
Speaker 1: the skirt yep. And your mother named you Eve. Yes, yes,
6:13
Speaker 1: the symbol of femininity. Yeah, the woman who eats the
6:16
Speaker 1: apple in search of education.
6:19
Speaker 2: Yeah.
6:20
Speaker 4: Why were you complicated about your name?
6:23
Speaker 2: I just thought it was a curse.
6:25
Speaker 3: My grandmother, who still is Jehovah's witness, I would go
6:28
Speaker 3: sometimes and you know, in the Bible and the stories,
6:31
Speaker 3: Eve is the one who's basically responsible for evil because
6:36
Speaker 3: you know, she ate the apple or did she give
6:39
Speaker 3: it to Adam.
6:40
Speaker 2: Or something whatever it was.
6:41
Speaker 3: So I really did grow up thinking like, oh, I'm cursed,
6:45
Speaker 3: and people, even when I was a kid, people would
6:47
Speaker 3: tease me about that, like grown ups would say why
6:50
Speaker 3: did you have to do that?
6:51
Speaker 2: And I'm like me, what, Like I ain't a kid.
6:55
Speaker 2: So yeah, it took it was years that I actually
6:57
Speaker 2: felt like that.
6:58
Speaker 1: Like it was interesting to me reading it because Eve
7:02
Speaker 1: challenges the norms of femininity in the Bible. Yeah, and
7:06
Speaker 1: you did that exact thing in music and then all
7:08
Speaker 1: about that.
7:09
Speaker 2: I never thought about that actually at all. I've never
7:12
Speaker 2: thought about it in that way.
7:14
Speaker 1: I feel like you walked that line in an incredible way.
7:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.
7:20
Speaker 3: I think I was really lucky that I the crew
7:24
Speaker 3: that I came from Rough Riders didn't make me.
7:29
Speaker 2: Try to be anything.
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Speaker 3: Else other than who I wanted to be as an MC,
7:32
Speaker 3: as an artist, as a person. So all the things
7:35
Speaker 3: that I wanted to talk about where whatever, they were
7:38
Speaker 3: just like okay, cool, that's fine.
7:40
Speaker 2: So maybe it definitely wasn't calculated. It was more out
7:43
Speaker 2: of them kind of just allowing me to be me. Yeah.
7:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, in the book, you said that you felt seen
7:49
Speaker 1: by them definitely. Yeah, what was that like in an
7:52
Speaker 1: industry who just did not see female EMCs?
7:55
Speaker 2: No, it was really nice.
7:57
Speaker 3: I felt I definitely felt protected, but I felt celebrated
8:01
Speaker 3: as well.
8:02
Speaker 2: I honestly did. I felt celebrated. They were great, They've
8:05
Speaker 2: always been great.
8:05
Speaker 3: I'm forever grateful that that's where I came up through
8:09
Speaker 3: and I.
8:10
Speaker 2: Learned a lot.
8:11
Speaker 3: Like there was healthy competition, you know, they did. They
8:14
Speaker 3: pitted us against each other in a healthy way, but
8:16
Speaker 3: only to make each of us better, which is great.
8:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to get to the first moment that
8:23
Speaker 1: you went to Yonkers.
8:24
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, before we do.
8:27
Speaker 1: Eves upbringing you talk about horror movies, yes, and you
8:30
Speaker 1: were like, fear, but do it anyways?
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Speaker 4: And that has been your entire career.
8:35
Speaker 1: Literally, Yeah, when you look fear in the face, what
8:38
Speaker 1: do you see?
8:39
Speaker 2: Oh God?
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Speaker 3: It's such a constant in my life and it still is.
8:43
Speaker 3: It's more of this feeling that arises, I know when
8:47
Speaker 3: it's not just anxiety, when it is actual fear, there's
8:50
Speaker 3: a different tangling in my chest that I'm like, okay,
8:53
Speaker 3: all right. But for me, it's been a motivator in
8:57
Speaker 3: a sense that I just want to break through it.
9:00
Speaker 2: Don't want this.
9:00
Speaker 3: To be part of who I am, especially now that
9:03
Speaker 3: I have a child. I don't want that to be
9:05
Speaker 3: part of how fear to be the catalyst and how
9:08
Speaker 3: I raise him. And you know, and I just feel
9:10
Speaker 3: like because of how I grew up and where I
9:13
Speaker 3: grew up, fear was just everywhere anyway. You know, I
9:17
Speaker 3: grew up in the projects I grew My mom was
9:18
Speaker 3: a single mom of a teen mom.
9:21
Speaker 2: I saw a lot of things I shouldn't have seen
9:22
Speaker 2: at that time.
9:23
Speaker 3: So fear has just always been annoyingly a companion of
9:26
Speaker 3: mine for years.
9:28
Speaker 2: Yeah.
9:29
Speaker 1: I interviewed Kevin Hard a few years ago and he's
9:32
Speaker 1: from Philly, Yes, and he sold shoes in Philly, yep.
9:36
Speaker 1: And I was like, Kevin, when you were selling shoes,
9:39
Speaker 1: like you're on the ground dressing people's feet, did you
9:41
Speaker 1: know this was going to be your life?
9:43
Speaker 4: And he was like, I had no idea.
9:45
Speaker 1: Yeah.
9:47
Speaker 4: I didn't believe him.
9:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I think that people that pushed through, no,
9:54
Speaker 1: you had this deep knowing.
9:55
Speaker 2: Yeah.
9:56
Speaker 3: I knew something. I knew I didn't want to wear
10:00
Speaker 3: regular life. And I say that in the book. I
10:02
Speaker 3: said that to my mom when I was little, like Mam,
10:05
Speaker 3: I love you and I love Grandma, but I don't
10:07
Speaker 3: want I don't want a regular life. I also knew
10:10
Speaker 3: that I wanted to see the world.
10:12
Speaker 2: I also knew.
10:13
Speaker 3: I mean, I was one of those kids that needed
10:14
Speaker 3: attention all the time. Like I did tap dance, I
10:17
Speaker 3: did ballet, I did viol I literally was like, I
10:20
Speaker 3: have to people need to see me.
10:22
Speaker 2: What's going on. I need to be seen.
10:23
Speaker 3: So I knew something I would not be able to
10:26
Speaker 3: say that it would be this big.
10:28
Speaker 2: I thought I would do one album and that was it.
10:30
Speaker 1: Really Yeah, I was like, oh, I did.
10:33
Speaker 2: I did the album that I wanted to do. That's it.
10:35
Speaker 3: But then, you know, then comes contracts and business and things.
10:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, oh, I'll do one album. It's fine, But.
10:41
Speaker 1: That doesn't track for me because you're at the Grammys
10:44
Speaker 1: and you bring your mom and you're like, it's such
10:46
Speaker 1: an emotional moment. Yes, yes, I remember Christina Aguilera won
10:51
Speaker 1: a Grammy and she looked in the camera and she
10:54
Speaker 1: mouthed mommy, Yeah, And it like makes me emotional because
10:57
Speaker 1: our moms are those.
10:58
Speaker 2: People everything everything.
11:00
Speaker 3: My mother has been my rock forever. She has been
11:04
Speaker 3: just that person that I can call if I'm not
11:07
Speaker 3: sure about something. When I was younger in the business,
11:11
Speaker 3: I think I purposely wasn't so close to her because.
11:15
Speaker 2: I think I was going through so much of my
11:17
Speaker 2: own stuff.
11:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she's always raised me fiercely independent, so I
11:21
Speaker 3: think I felt like I needed to go through this
11:22
Speaker 3: stuff alone. But when the big shit hit the fan,
11:25
Speaker 3: she is the person I would call, and she always
11:28
Speaker 3: was like, it's all right, it's okay, we're gonna figure
11:30
Speaker 3: it out, don't worry about it.
11:31
Speaker 2: She's just been the best ever.
11:34
Speaker 4: I was shocked by how supportive she was.
11:36
Speaker 2: Oh my god, she listen, I am lucky.
11:38
Speaker 3: It's funny, someone says to me once that got uh
11:42
Speaker 3: the book and read the book, was like, I was
11:44
Speaker 3: waiting for your mom to be like, what the what
11:46
Speaker 3: is happening?
11:47
Speaker 4: And every turn, every.
11:49
Speaker 1: Turn, you're fourteen, I think, and you're like, I'm not
11:51
Speaker 1: going to college. Yeah, and she attacked her place to
11:54
Speaker 1: everything for you.
11:54
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
11:55
Speaker 3: I actually I was so scared to have that conversation.
11:58
Speaker 3: I was so scared to sit my mom on the
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Speaker 3: bed and say, Mom, I really don't want to go
12:03
Speaker 3: to college and thinking like, oh, you know, of course,
12:07
Speaker 3: is that what she wants to see? And she was like, listen,
12:09
Speaker 3: it's not for everybody. If this is what you want
12:10
Speaker 3: to do with your life, go ahead.
12:13
Speaker 2: Yeah.
12:14
Speaker 1: Do you think your mom is proud of you now?
12:16
Speaker 3: Definitely? Oh my god, my mom's so proud. She is
12:18
Speaker 3: very proud, very proud. She still calls me my childhood
12:22
Speaker 3: name like miss P. So when I know when she's.
12:24
Speaker 2: Like, oh miss p that's great, Like it's the sweetest thing. Yeah,
12:28
Speaker 2: she's super proud.
12:30
Speaker 4: That's another name I know, another one and it's so funny.
12:33
Speaker 2: I've never thought about how many nicknames I actually had.
12:36
Speaker 2: I had a lot.
12:37
Speaker 1: I think that means there it was a lot of love.
12:39
Speaker 1: You know, people felt close to you.
12:41
Speaker 2: I think so.
12:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too. So you're battle wrapping at
12:46
Speaker 1: the Cipher and Philly against only.
12:48
Speaker 2: Men, yep, only men. I was of the females.
12:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you're like, I got to get to
12:56
Speaker 1: New York and do this for real. Yes, and you
13:00
Speaker 1: strip for two months, which I have to tell you,
13:02
Speaker 1: I was laughing thinking that you failed gym class and
13:05
Speaker 1: then you thought you could go.
13:07
Speaker 2: It's true, this is true. I don't know what I
13:09
Speaker 2: was thinking. But that's why I call it in the book,
13:12
Speaker 2: because it's the lazy stripper, because it's like, I really
13:15
Speaker 2: wasn't I really wasn't there for that.
13:18
Speaker 3: I wasn't there for that at all. I was there
13:19
Speaker 3: for a come up to figure things out. But yeah, no,
13:23
Speaker 3: of course I fell gym.
13:25
Speaker 1: So that is my question actually, because when the book
13:27
Speaker 1: first came out, a lot of the headlines were about
13:30
Speaker 1: that moment.
13:31
Speaker 2: Which it's so insane, it's annoying, it's.
13:34
Speaker 1: Horrible actually, and I actually think it's really sexist. Yeah,
13:37
Speaker 1: it was two months.
13:38
Speaker 2: It was two months. I was seventeen, Yeah, I was seventeen.
13:43
Speaker 3: And also the biggest part of that story is the
13:48
Speaker 3: revelation that came from the conversation I had with Mace.
13:51
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like, that's the biggest part, and.
13:54
Speaker 3: It sucks, and even now doing press and stuff, I'm like, God,
13:57
Speaker 3: maybe we should not have put that in the book,
13:59
Speaker 3: because I've talked about this through my whole career. I have,
14:02
Speaker 3: But then I also felt like, no, this was a
14:04
Speaker 3: big pivotal moment, not the stripping, not the strip club itself,
14:10
Speaker 3: but that conversation changed. Not I won't say it changed,
14:14
Speaker 3: it confirmed what I was already thinking.
14:16
Speaker 4: And I think it showed how tunnel vision you were.
14:20
Speaker 4: You have one thing on your.
14:21
Speaker 2: Mind, one thing, literally, one thing.
14:24
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I agree.
14:26
Speaker 1: So you signed a Rough Riders and I'm skipping over
14:28
Speaker 1: the part where you go to LA and it doesn't
14:32
Speaker 1: work out. But they could read the book for that, Yes,
14:36
Speaker 1: read the book. You signed the Rough Riders and you
14:38
Speaker 1: go to Yonkers. Yeah, okay, I talked to wah ah
14:41
Speaker 1: you did. I got a little background.
14:44
Speaker 4: Oh I love this, So I have some details that
14:46
Speaker 4: weren't in the book.
14:47
Speaker 1: Oh I love this, Yes, he said, the best thing
14:50
Speaker 1: he goes. There were three floors of the rough building
14:54
Speaker 1: Eves scrapped with every single man on every floor of
14:58
Speaker 1: that building, drag crew, every single one. And he said
15:03
Speaker 1: you were the most focused person he had ever seen.
15:07
Speaker 2: Yes, it was do a die. For me. It was
15:09
Speaker 2: do a die because of that first situation in La.
15:12
Speaker 2: For me, this was do or die. It was like,
15:15
Speaker 2: this is it. Because of course that first time I
15:19
Speaker 2: got signed, I was like, this is it. I've made it.
15:22
Speaker 2: I've made it.
15:23
Speaker 3: And when you get dropped and you have to go
15:25
Speaker 3: back home to your mother's house. Wow, and then you
15:29
Speaker 3: get another phone call, yeah, wow.
15:33
Speaker 2: Okay, this is it. You know, it was like.
15:37
Speaker 3: Game time, master level game time, Like so yeah, for me,
15:41
Speaker 3: the focus was it was important because I was like, Okay,
15:44
Speaker 3: this is where I'm supposed to be.
15:46
Speaker 2: This is when it's gonna happen.
15:48
Speaker 1: It did this time because like your single popped off,
15:51
Speaker 1: you hit the billboard charts two hundred thousand coffees in
15:54
Speaker 1: the first week. What was the moment that you realized,
15:58
Speaker 1: let there be Eve was going to change your life?
16:03
Speaker 3: You know, I don't know that's a good question. I
16:07
Speaker 3: don't think I really even thought about it until because
16:10
Speaker 3: I kept trying to be in this place of you know,
16:14
Speaker 3: I had all my friends with me everywhere, and I
16:16
Speaker 3: was trying. I was going back and forth to Philly.
16:18
Speaker 3: So while things were changing, it still was like me
16:21
Speaker 3: trying to keep these part things not to change, you know,
16:25
Speaker 3: like let me hold on to the things that are
16:27
Speaker 3: very familiar. I think I really realized on my first
16:31
Speaker 3: tour when I got depressed, when I got sad, That's
16:36
Speaker 3: when I.
16:37
Speaker 2: Realized, Oh, things are Shit's different, shit is different.
16:40
Speaker 3: My life is different. I am still that girl. I
16:42
Speaker 3: can no longer operate in the same way. That's when
16:45
Speaker 3: for me it hit me like, yeah, things have changed.
16:49
Speaker 1: That was actually a really difficult and moving part of
16:52
Speaker 1: the book to read. You said, drinking drugs, diet pills,
16:57
Speaker 1: punched in the face by anxiety. Was that the time
17:00
Speaker 1: that you felt like you'd come the closest to losing
17:03
Speaker 1: everything you'd built. I don't even know.
17:05
Speaker 2: If it was. No, it was more me.
17:09
Speaker 3: I think it was so much about me losing me
17:12
Speaker 3: than like thinking the other stuff around me, thinking career stuff.
17:17
Speaker 2: I was more fearful of losing myself. Where am I?
17:22
Speaker 2: What am I doing to myself?
17:24
Speaker 1: That's a really scary place to be, very scary, very scary.
17:27
Speaker 1: Do you consider yourself someone that struggled with alcohol?
17:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, But I don't even think I realized how
17:35
Speaker 3: much until Like I always knew it was an issue.
17:38
Speaker 3: I have talked about it when I was on the talk,
17:41
Speaker 3: I talked about it, but I don't think I realized
17:43
Speaker 3: how much it actually affected me until I actually wrote
17:46
Speaker 3: this book, because these realizations that are on this page
17:50
Speaker 3: came as we were writing.
17:51
Speaker 2: A lot of it came to fruition in the time
17:54
Speaker 2: in the.
17:54
Speaker 3: Writing sessions, which was crazy for me, where I was like,
17:58
Speaker 3: I didn't even know I really was holding on to that.
18:00
Speaker 2: I didn't know. I felt like that while I knew
18:03
Speaker 2: I had.
18:03
Speaker 3: An issue, you know, like most time when people are
18:07
Speaker 3: going through something, I didn't admit it to myself only
18:10
Speaker 3: when the only other time, for sure is when I
18:13
Speaker 3: had my DUI, And of course that was like, all right,
18:18
Speaker 3: you need to get it together.
18:19
Speaker 2: Of course.
18:20
Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like alcohol usually is covering up pain.
18:24
Speaker 2: Definitely.
18:25
Speaker 1: You've done so much therapy, You're so evolved, now, do
18:28
Speaker 1: you know what that was covering up.
18:30
Speaker 2: I was really.
18:35
Speaker 3: Sad for some reason, and I didn't think about this before.
18:39
Speaker 3: I do think, you know, there are words we use
18:40
Speaker 3: now like anxiety, depression, and mental health, all of that.
18:44
Speaker 3: Nobody I think I was depressed. I definitely think I
18:47
Speaker 3: was depressed. I also think I was lonely.
18:51
Speaker 2: I do. I think I was very lonely.
18:53
Speaker 3: Even when you're around tons of people and doing tons
18:57
Speaker 3: of things, sometimes it can.
18:59
Speaker 2: Be a very lonely place being in the industry, So
19:02
Speaker 2: I think it was some of that.
19:03
Speaker 3: I think also there was just a lot of moving
19:08
Speaker 3: parts being in California, acting, my record label wasn't the same,
19:14
Speaker 3: my music career wasn't the same, Like, there was so
19:17
Speaker 3: many factors of shit. I don't want to think about this,
19:22
Speaker 3: I don't want to deal with it. So yeah, I
19:25
Speaker 3: think it was just me numbing myself from the pain
19:28
Speaker 3: basically and the frustration of all that because it's exhausting.
19:33
Speaker 2: It's exhausting.
19:34
Speaker 4: Yeah, I felt your exhaustion in the book.
19:36
Speaker 2: I was exhausted, truly.
19:39
Speaker 1: So I came from like TV news media, yeah, and
19:44
Speaker 1: that's kind of like a structured place ish, and I
19:47
Speaker 1: dealt with so much stuff that no one will ever know. Yeah,
19:53
Speaker 1: reading your book, all I could think was, I can't
19:56
Speaker 1: even imagine what's not on these pages.
19:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, Like I take.
20:01
Speaker 1: A breath thinking about it, because that stuff stacks up
20:04
Speaker 1: in your soul.
20:05
Speaker 3: Yes, completely, completely, Yeah, there are definitely more that could
20:10
Speaker 3: have gone on there. But yeah, some stuff, some stuff
20:14
Speaker 3: doesn't need to be some things I only talk to
20:17
Speaker 3: my therapist about or my god or you know.
20:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what do you think people don't really understand
20:24
Speaker 1: about being a woman in music.
20:27
Speaker 3: It's just so much pressure. There's so much pressure, not
20:31
Speaker 3: just you know, just being a woman anyway, being a woman,
20:34
Speaker 3: we put so much pressure on ourselves. First of all,
20:36
Speaker 3: it doesn't even matter if you're in the industry, but
20:40
Speaker 3: keeping up looking right all the time. But also the
20:45
Speaker 3: business itself is not really friendly, especially in my experience
20:51
Speaker 3: at that time, it just wasn't friendly to women.
20:53
Speaker 2: It just wasn't.
20:54
Speaker 3: It was like it had to be the one, one female,
20:57
Speaker 3: the one girl from this crew.
20:59
Speaker 2: Nobody else can share the light.
21:01
Speaker 3: And then they pitted us women against each other, no
21:03
Speaker 3: for no reason.
21:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, there was a lot of pressure.
21:07
Speaker 1: So you say the fighting between women and hip hop
21:10
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with us that's what you wrote.
21:13
Speaker 4: It's the men behind the women kind of forcing the war.
21:15
Speaker 3: Yeah.
21:16
Speaker 1: It made me think about the Drake and Kendrick beef
21:19
Speaker 1: because like Maggie and Nikki will beef and knit's like
21:23
Speaker 1: about their character, right, Drake and Kendrick, it's about their lyrics,
21:27
Speaker 1: who had the better song, who had the better beaf
21:30
Speaker 1: when that happens. Are they beefing behind the scenes the
21:34
Speaker 1: way the women are?
21:36
Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean I feel like that Drake
21:39
Speaker 2: and Kendrick. Is that Yes, that feels real, that's real?
21:43
Speaker 2: Like that if that cannot be real?
21:45
Speaker 1: Oh my go At the beginning, I thought they were
21:47
Speaker 1: kind of putting the Avengers.
21:49
Speaker 3: Together the same same In the beginning, I was like, oh, okay,
21:52
Speaker 3: maybe this is a you know because I remember that
21:54
Speaker 3: a long time ago when Drake and will Wayne did
21:58
Speaker 3: the you know, when they did the concerts.
21:59
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, maybe that's no, no, no, no,
22:04
Speaker 2: quickly went it quickly went south.
22:08
Speaker 4: Do you think things like that affect people's careers?
22:12
Speaker 2: Yeah? Really I think so. I think this.
22:16
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you listen, I'm a huge Kendrick fan,
22:19
Speaker 3: so for me, I gotta say and it's this is horrible,
22:22
Speaker 3: but I loved it because it reminded me of old
22:26
Speaker 3: hip hop. Not listen, not the personal shops, the personal
22:30
Speaker 3: shops that you know, that's a lot, but the beef
22:32
Speaker 3: that that lyrical beefing that is that feeds my soul
22:37
Speaker 3: because I am a lyricist first, I'm an MC first.
22:40
Speaker 2: So I was like, this is good so much. Then
22:44
Speaker 2: it got a little person. I was like, oh no,
22:46
Speaker 2: I don't want to be laughing at people's misfortunes, but.
22:48
Speaker 1: Damn, but I think people who love rap love that
22:52
Speaker 1: beef so good.
22:54
Speaker 2: It fed me. It fed me in a way hip
22:56
Speaker 2: hop has not fed me in a long time. And
22:59
Speaker 2: that's real.
22:59
Speaker 1: And I feel like gen Z hadn't experienced that.
23:02
Speaker 3: They had not No, of course not they none of
23:05
Speaker 3: them have experienced that.
23:06
Speaker 1: No, we at least got like a made up job.
23:09
Speaker 1: Well it wasn't made up, but like a job rule
23:10
Speaker 1: of fifty, like we got something, you.
23:12
Speaker 3: Got something, you got some that was a very memorable,
23:15
Speaker 3: good one as well.
23:17
Speaker 1: So when you talk about songwriting, yeah, people that are
23:20
Speaker 1: songwriters claim that in a very different way, Like it's
23:23
Speaker 1: different than performing, it's different than recording. Is there a
23:27
Speaker 1: song that you perform that hits you deep.
23:31
Speaker 2: That's a good question.
23:33
Speaker 3: I would say, blow your Mind is one of my
23:36
Speaker 3: favorites to perform. It's like my personal favorite, and I
23:40
Speaker 3: go off on that like when I'm on stage.
23:42
Speaker 2: That's probably one of my personal favorites. And then if
23:45
Speaker 2: I ever.
23:45
Speaker 3: Add like love is Blind and I don't do that
23:48
Speaker 3: one often it depends on the audience and the.
23:51
Speaker 1: Thank you listen to that this morning?
23:54
Speaker 2: No, but you know that's because of that subject. Some
23:57
Speaker 2: it depends on where I'm performing.
23:59
Speaker 3: But if I when I do add that in, it
24:02
Speaker 3: is one of those records that takes me to a
24:05
Speaker 3: place because of what it's about.
24:07
Speaker 1: When did you write that song?
24:09
Speaker 3: I wrote the poem when I was sixteen. It was
24:12
Speaker 3: a poem first. The two verses are about a friend
24:16
Speaker 3: of mine who got pregnant for a guy who was
24:18
Speaker 3: like thirty something.
24:19
Speaker 2: She was like seventeen. He put an apartment.
24:21
Speaker 3: He used to beat her and she used to come
24:23
Speaker 3: to my house with these like bruises. And then when
24:26
Speaker 3: she had her baby, I was in the maternity I
24:29
Speaker 3: was there.
24:29
Speaker 2: He did not come.
24:31
Speaker 3: I was the first person to hold the baby at
24:32
Speaker 3: sixteen seventeen. It was crazy and When I heard the
24:37
Speaker 3: beat for Love is Blind, I immediately was like, I
24:40
Speaker 3: need to put this poem to these songs. The third verse,
24:43
Speaker 3: of course, where I kill him or whatever, is obviously
24:47
Speaker 3: not real, but it was more to kind of bring
24:49
Speaker 3: home the point of how bad domestic violence is.
24:52
Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, it's an amazing song.
24:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, okay, page ninety two, Will you read
24:58
Speaker 1: something for me?
25:00
Speaker 3: I was obsessed with upholding my lyrical content while trying
25:05
Speaker 3: to emulate some of my heroes on the mic, like
25:08
Speaker 3: Black Thought and Lauren Hill. My pussy didn't need to
25:11
Speaker 3: enter the conversation like that.
25:14
Speaker 2: Thank you for that. Of course, that's hoo.
25:17
Speaker 1: I asked that because I think so much of female
25:21
Speaker 1: rap right now is pussy forward. It is forward, yes,
25:26
Speaker 1: peo forward, well as somebody who shied away from that intentionally.
25:32
Speaker 1: What do you think about that?
25:34
Speaker 2: Listen? Yeah, it is a lot.
25:36
Speaker 3: I will say it's funny. I saw something not too
25:38
Speaker 3: long ago on TikTok. This girl who just popped up
25:41
Speaker 3: on my FYP was just like, I am so sick
25:44
Speaker 3: of how over sexualized hip hop is right now with women,
25:48
Speaker 3: and she's right, it is very over sexualized.
25:52
Speaker 2: But for me, I will.
25:53
Speaker 3: Say, I look at it as an overall hole in
25:57
Speaker 3: the sense of there was a time where there were
26:00
Speaker 3: no females out It was just the desert, you know,
26:04
Speaker 3: it was one or two.
26:05
Speaker 2: So on a positive trying to stay positive.
26:09
Speaker 3: It's more like, thank god, the landscape at least has
26:11
Speaker 3: more women. But yeah, I do think that it is
26:15
Speaker 3: taking on this turn. At the moment that being said,
26:19
Speaker 3: there's still some really dope, amazing females, some dope female
26:23
Speaker 3: m see some amazing women out there.
26:25
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, yeah, and now it's like more than
26:29
Speaker 1: one a little bit, thank.
26:30
Speaker 2: Goodness, which helps. There's more. Yeah, there's still more.
26:34
Speaker 3: I think, you know, there was just wasn't a balance
26:36
Speaker 3: at a certain point from the male perspective to the woman, Like,
26:40
Speaker 3: there wasn't a balance, And I do feel like we
26:42
Speaker 3: are there is somewhat of a balance.
26:46
Speaker 2: That's my most political way to say it.
26:49
Speaker 1: I guess in the beginning of your book, you say
26:51
Speaker 1: you never competed with anybody. Yeah, and then you have
26:54
Speaker 1: this moment where you talk about Nicki Minaj and barbershop too,
26:57
Speaker 1: and I thought that was really cool of you to share.
26:59
Speaker 4: Yeah, big of you, thank you, super.
27:01
Speaker 1: Vulnerable you say that her being cast really had an
27:05
Speaker 1: impact on you and put you into therapy. Yeah, why
27:08
Speaker 1: did that? Because like, I feel like there were moments
27:10
Speaker 1: in your life that could have destabilized you.
27:12
Speaker 4: Why did that moment hit you?
27:14
Speaker 2: Well, it wasn't just that moment.
27:15
Speaker 3: I had been doing therapy and stuff before, but it
27:18
Speaker 3: was it was a moment I kind of went back.
27:20
Speaker 3: I will say I went back to it in the
27:22
Speaker 3: sense that I felt like I had these these feelings
27:25
Speaker 3: that I needed to deal with that I knew was
27:26
Speaker 3: completely my stuff.
27:28
Speaker 2: But it was one of those things and because I
27:30
Speaker 2: thought about do I really share this story?
27:32
Speaker 3: But the reason I shared it is because I feel like,
27:35
Speaker 3: you know, no matter what industry you're in, you've wanted
27:37
Speaker 3: something so bad, or if you've done something where you've
27:40
Speaker 3: been in a position, but now there's this situation, this person,
27:44
Speaker 3: this situation, something takes over or comes into your space.
27:48
Speaker 3: We're human, right, And so I did feel like, oh man,
27:52
Speaker 3: this is kind of crazy, like but I knew that
27:55
Speaker 3: was all my stuff, and I felt like it was
27:56
Speaker 3: important for me to go talk about it somewhere so
27:59
Speaker 3: that I didn't it to set and I'd be the
28:01
Speaker 3: one that was I guess putting my insecurities onto someone
28:06
Speaker 3: else and not being able to be the best me
28:10
Speaker 3: and show up in that space in the right way.
28:12
Speaker 2: So yeah, I feel like I had I needed to
28:15
Speaker 2: go talk about it.
28:15
Speaker 3: And also because I had moved on from those things
28:19
Speaker 3: that I used to go back to when I did
28:21
Speaker 3: have anxieties, like drinking or partying or whatever. So I
28:24
Speaker 3: needed a new modality to deal with that stuff. Yeah,
28:27
Speaker 3: a different modality.
28:29
Speaker 2: Yeah.
28:30
Speaker 1: When I read that, it was actually I thought it
28:32
Speaker 1: was the bravest part of the book.
28:34
Speaker 4: It's not easy to share.
28:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, do I put this in here?
28:38
Speaker 1: Because you're Eve, Like, you're we off, We're like Eve,
28:41
Speaker 1: You're on a pedestal. And then it's like for you
28:43
Speaker 1: to admit that it's something everybody, every woman has felt everyone,
28:46
Speaker 1: and no one really wants to talk about it.
28:48
Speaker 2: Of course they don't know. But it's real. It's real,
28:51
Speaker 2: It's real, it is real. Yeah.
28:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, So towards the beginning of your career, and
28:57
Speaker 1: in the beginning of the book, you talk about how
28:59
Speaker 1: jay Z called you and he was kind of this
29:00
Speaker 1: invisible bully.
29:01
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, so I have a bully that.
29:04
Speaker 1: Doesn't know she's my bully, but it.
29:06
Speaker 2: Helps me spam see yes, yes, right.
29:10
Speaker 3: I don't dislike her, No, it just helps me rise
29:14
Speaker 3: up one hundred percent.
29:16
Speaker 2: And that's another reason why I put that in it,
29:18
Speaker 2: because of course we question that as well. I was like,
29:20
Speaker 2: do we put because we know how people feel about.
29:22
Speaker 3: Jay honey, but it's not out of and I say
29:24
Speaker 3: this and I've said this before, it was not.
29:27
Speaker 2: I know, it wasn't out of meanness or malice.
29:29
Speaker 3: In any way, and he was probably trying to temper
29:33
Speaker 3: my expectations.
29:34
Speaker 2: So whatever it was, but I took it for me.
29:37
Speaker 3: And it was fine. The battery in my back. For me,
29:40
Speaker 3: Jay is great, like, have no issues at all.
29:43
Speaker 2: But I was like, okay, cool, let.
29:45
Speaker 3: Me show you and not just him, not show you
29:48
Speaker 3: like him, but show everyone.
29:51
Speaker 4: What it represented once he was talking about women and hip.
29:54
Speaker 2: Hop exactly exactly. So yes, I love that you said that,
29:57
Speaker 2: because it's true.
29:58
Speaker 3: We all have that person someone has says something they
30:02
Speaker 3: don't even have a clue, they don't even know, and
30:04
Speaker 3: like you said, you don't even you don't not like
30:07
Speaker 3: this person.
30:08
Speaker 4: No, I wish her well, wish her well, God bless,
30:11
Speaker 4: but I'm right.
30:11
Speaker 1: On your back Yeah, it's I love how you put it.
30:15
Speaker 1: It's the battery in my pat battery in your back.
30:18
Speaker 4: Yeah, do you have one today? You're in a different area, in.
30:21
Speaker 3: A different space, but in a different way. I would
30:25
Speaker 3: feel like, it's more my kid. It's more my son
30:28
Speaker 3: for the life that I want for him. So that's
30:31
Speaker 3: a different battery, it's a different thing.
30:33
Speaker 2: Yeah.
30:34
Speaker 1: So it was interesting to me. At the beginning of
30:37
Speaker 1: the book you talked about how your house was dark. Yeah,
30:40
Speaker 1: and I thought, Okay, throughout the book, she's searching for
30:43
Speaker 1: this light. Yeah, and then you found it with your
30:46
Speaker 1: family when you talk about your son.
30:49
Speaker 2: Like I could. I could barely get through that during
30:52
Speaker 2: the audible. It took me a while. I kept starting
30:56
Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm sorry, guys, I'm sorry. That
30:59
Speaker 2: was Yeah, that was the most emotional part of reading.
31:03
Speaker 4: Why do you get emotional when you talk about your son?
31:06
Speaker 3: Oh, it's just you know, I've talked about my fertility struggles.
31:10
Speaker 3: I think there's so much there, not just him just
31:13
Speaker 3: being here now, which is the best thing in the world.
31:16
Speaker 2: But I think, you know it.
31:18
Speaker 3: The first time I talk about my ec topic pregnancy
31:20
Speaker 3: is in this book.
31:21
Speaker 2: That is something I had to heal and deal with
31:23
Speaker 2: as well to kind of release that, and a lot
31:28
Speaker 2: to allow him, And so.
31:30
Speaker 3: I think there's just there's just so much emotion with
31:33
Speaker 3: it and with him, and I just feel it's literally
31:37
Speaker 3: the best thing ever.
31:38
Speaker 2: He's just great. He's my homie, my little homie.
31:41
Speaker 1: Is it like you feel all the struggle it took
31:43
Speaker 1: to get definite him into the world.
31:45
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Yeah, I definitely.
31:47
Speaker 3: I I think, yeah, the struggle, you know, the the
31:52
Speaker 3: frustration of doing like IVF, and the frustration of going
31:57
Speaker 3: to doctors over the years who never knew or looked
32:00
Speaker 3: into the fact that I had fibroids or endometriosis where
32:04
Speaker 3: that could have been fixed years prior.
32:07
Speaker 2: Lots of that. Yeah.
32:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you did one thing differently than ninety nine
32:14
Speaker 1: percent of the people in your industry, what do you
32:17
Speaker 1: think that was.
32:19
Speaker 2: Oh, that's a good question. Maybe being open.
32:25
Speaker 3: To the pivot, like Okay, well let me try this,
32:30
Speaker 3: let me go over here, let me try this.
32:32
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll go over here.
32:33
Speaker 3: Maybe that that could be that's the thing that comes
32:36
Speaker 3: up for me.
32:37
Speaker 4: I did not think you were gonna say that.
32:38
Speaker 1: No, that's cool.
32:40
Speaker 2: Maybe I feel like that for me that's what comes up.
32:45
Speaker 4: You're open to the pivot? Do you still feel open
32:47
Speaker 4: to the pivot?
32:48
Speaker 2: Always?
32:48
Speaker 3: I will try anything once or twice, depending on what
32:51
Speaker 3: it is, to see if it's meant for me. And
32:54
Speaker 3: that's literally everything, food, clothes, whatever, life, careers, everything.
33:00
Speaker 1: Yes, Okay, you're on this amazing press tour and talk
33:02
Speaker 1: about pivot. Nobody's talking about fetish. I know everyone loves fetish.
33:08
Speaker 1: Are we bringing it back?
33:10
Speaker 2: No?
33:12
Speaker 1: Pivot.
33:12
Speaker 2: You know it's funny.
33:13
Speaker 3: I just found some pieces not too long ago. I
33:16
Speaker 3: was cleaning out like a storage thing, and I was like, oh,
33:18
Speaker 3: that is I would love it too, in a certain way.
33:21
Speaker 3: Maybe not exactly what it was.
33:22
Speaker 2: What couldn't be, But I don't know. I would never.
33:26
Speaker 2: I'll never say never. I never say never. Yeah that
33:29
Speaker 2: was a good time.
33:29
Speaker 4: Because you would do it differently this time.
33:31
Speaker 2: Yeah. Completely.
33:33
Speaker 4: You make money?
33:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, how about that. That'd be nice. I'd make some
33:38
Speaker 2: money off of it. It'd be great. I made none,
33:43
Speaker 2: made no money.
33:44
Speaker 4: It made money, but you made a lot of people happy.
33:47
Speaker 2: It did. It made money. It made so much money.
33:49
Speaker 3: It was Yeah, it made a good amount of money,
33:52
Speaker 3: but I sadly did not.
33:55
Speaker 2: That's a I should have put. Yeah, that's a whole
33:57
Speaker 2: of the story. End chapter. That's book two, book two.
34:02
Speaker 3: But you know what, like you said, it made a
34:04
Speaker 3: lot of people happy. It was great for what it was.
34:07
Speaker 3: I will always be proud of it.
34:08
Speaker 2: So it's all good. Yeah.
34:10
Speaker 1: Has there been a no that you're thankful for, like
34:13
Speaker 1: a blessing in disguise?
34:15
Speaker 2: Oh, that's a good question.
34:18
Speaker 3: I know that I'm thankful for, like career, like someone
34:25
Speaker 3: saying this is not for you kind of know.
34:27
Speaker 1: A thing mm hmm, or even personally hmmm. I had
34:31
Speaker 1: a man dump me and like, in hindsight, thanks guy.
34:34
Speaker 2: Ever, Yes, yes, best thing ever? Probably that. Then, to
34:39
Speaker 2: be honest, that would be it. Somebody in my past that, Yeah,
34:43
Speaker 2: that would probably be it.
34:45
Speaker 4: Can we talk about that?
34:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's see.
34:48
Speaker 1: Okay, So in the book you talk about this codependent,
34:51
Speaker 1: toxic relationship.
34:52
Speaker 4: Yes, which I also thought was very brave.
34:55
Speaker 1: Thank you because while I was telling me that was
34:57
Speaker 1: like the only hard part, the only hard time.
35:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, in rough Rider Eve history.
35:01
Speaker 2: They hated it.
35:02
Speaker 1: They hated it understandably.
35:05
Speaker 2: Least they loved you totally.
35:07
Speaker 4: Yeah, why didn't you name him in the book.
35:10
Speaker 3: I feel like with certain things in the book the
35:14
Speaker 3: situation is bigger than that person, if that makes sense.
35:17
Speaker 2: Yea.
35:17
Speaker 3: And I just feel like there's no need to name
35:23
Speaker 3: them when I don't know. Also, you just don't some
35:28
Speaker 3: things you just don't want to shine. You don't want
35:30
Speaker 3: to put any light on. It's not worth it. It's
35:33
Speaker 3: not worth it.
35:34
Speaker 2: Yeah.
35:35
Speaker 1: The thing that I thought was cool that you shined
35:37
Speaker 1: a light on, yeah, was I.
35:40
Speaker 4: Thought some of it was abusive.
35:42
Speaker 2: Yeah.
35:42
Speaker 1: I don't know if you like you didn't really write
35:44
Speaker 1: it like that. Yeah, but like releasing a tape, I
35:47
Speaker 1: felt like it's pretty abusive. Yeah, I'm saying yeah, and
35:51
Speaker 1: I think it's happened. I'd have had so many people
35:54
Speaker 1: in this chair talk about things like that. Yeah, doesn't
35:58
Speaker 1: happen to men, no ever, ever.
36:01
Speaker 2: Ever. Sad. It's sad. It's crazy.
36:05
Speaker 1: It's really crazy.
36:06
Speaker 2: It's crazy because.
36:07
Speaker 1: It's like the only thing that they have to destabilize you.
36:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is yeah, really insane, really sad.
36:16
Speaker 1: How'd you heal from all that? Like, cause you talk
36:18
Speaker 1: about not bringing your baggage into this new amazing marriage
36:21
Speaker 1: that you're in.
36:22
Speaker 3: I mean, listen, it's the first few years of our relationship. Definitely,
36:30
Speaker 3: baggage was there there were times where he Max would
36:35
Speaker 3: literally say to me because we were long distance for
36:37
Speaker 3: a year and some change really so there'd be times
36:40
Speaker 3: where I'd freak out, like he'd be in London, I'm
36:42
Speaker 3: in la The time difference is nuts. And if he
36:44
Speaker 3: didn't answer the phone, I'd immediately be like, who are you?
36:46
Speaker 3: What's going on? And he'd be like, I am not
36:48
Speaker 3: that person. I am not those people.
36:50
Speaker 2: I am not I don't that is not who this is,
36:53
Speaker 2: but who I am. And it took me a while.
36:57
Speaker 2: It took me. If it took me a few years,
36:59
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie, it.
37:00
Speaker 3: Took me a few years before I could really be like,
37:04
Speaker 3: oh no, I believe him, and yes, this is such
37:06
Speaker 3: a different situation, thank god.
37:10
Speaker 2: But it took a minute.
37:12
Speaker 1: I feel like there's certain people in pop culture when
37:14
Speaker 1: they find great love, everyone's rooting them on. You were
37:18
Speaker 1: one of those people, and I'm wondering how falling in
37:22
Speaker 1: love with Max, someone who felt so safe, changed you.
37:25
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think he's always been.
37:30
Speaker 3: He's very good at being like two feet on the
37:33
Speaker 3: ground and I live in the clowns like I'm very much.
37:36
Speaker 2: Like a ho's got and he's very good at being like,
37:40
Speaker 2: come back down here. So that has helped a lot.
37:43
Speaker 3: You know, he's seen me through and helped me through
37:47
Speaker 3: panic attacks.
37:47
Speaker 2: And what's nice is knowing.
37:51
Speaker 3: That I can be truly folly who I am and
37:54
Speaker 3: not feel crazy for it, because in past relationships when
37:57
Speaker 3: I would be emotional, I'd be like, it'd be like.
38:00
Speaker 2: What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? What's wrong?
38:02
Speaker 2: And it's like, oh, wait, is something wrong with me?
38:04
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like you start feeling like.
38:06
Speaker 3: So that is great, a great place to be, like
38:10
Speaker 3: we are very honest with who we are with each
38:13
Speaker 3: other and that I never had that before. I always
38:17
Speaker 3: call it it's my grown up relationship. I never had
38:19
Speaker 3: a grown up relationship before. Who knew it could be
38:21
Speaker 3: actually kind of easy and not like anxiety inducing.
38:26
Speaker 1: I used to interview Matchmaker on my Dead Morning TV
38:30
Speaker 1: and she said that couples really in love, successful long
38:34
Speaker 1: term couples use one word. They all say the same thing,
38:37
Speaker 1: and it's easy.
38:39
Speaker 3: It's wow, and it's true. I never believed it though.
38:43
Speaker 3: I always thought you had to have this the butterflies
38:46
Speaker 3: in the bad way, because you know sometimes that that
38:49
Speaker 3: feeling is not the good feeling. If somebody's like causing
38:52
Speaker 3: that anxiety or anticipation but not.
38:56
Speaker 2: In the right way, that's not good for you.
38:59
Speaker 3: That's actually really not good view and it is you know, Listen,
39:03
Speaker 3: nothing's perfect.
39:05
Speaker 2: You're not gonna use that word because nothing's listen. He
39:07
Speaker 2: had four kids. He lives in London. But we figured
39:11
Speaker 2: it out and we're very like I said, we're very
39:14
Speaker 2: honest with each other. And it is easy. It is easy.
39:18
Speaker 1: Yeah. How did it feel to become a first time
39:20
Speaker 1: mom at forty three?
39:23
Speaker 3: Amazing? Honestly amazing. And I've said this before, but it's true.
39:26
Speaker 3: I am happy that I'm a older mom. I got
39:29
Speaker 3: a lot out of my system. I don't feel like
39:31
Speaker 3: I'm missing anything outside child. If anything, she wants to
39:35
Speaker 3: be under the cover, okay, like under the covers. It's
39:40
Speaker 3: nice because I have the patience and the yeah, the
39:44
Speaker 3: patience I need.
39:45
Speaker 2: I think for him, it's great.
39:49
Speaker 1: You said you're in your soft life era. Now what
39:52
Speaker 1: surprised you the most about this era of your life?
39:56
Speaker 2: That I actually like it? Trying to settle into it.
40:00
Speaker 3: I think I've been such a grinder hustler. Need to
40:04
Speaker 3: make this happen. What's going on next? Thing going like
40:07
Speaker 3: based on just how I was built grown up, you
40:10
Speaker 3: know everything that I think.
40:13
Speaker 2: That, I'm like, oh wow, this is actually honest.
40:15
Speaker 3: It's like, you know, I can also I love work.
40:19
Speaker 3: I want to always work, So it's not about that.
40:21
Speaker 3: It's more about how I work and being able to
40:25
Speaker 3: kind of be the architect of how I want to
40:29
Speaker 3: work and things I want to do.
40:30
Speaker 2: It's a very nice place to be. I feel very
40:32
Speaker 2: lucky for that.
40:33
Speaker 4: After reading your book, I'm so happy you're there.
40:36
Speaker 2: Thank you, yeah, girl, because child, would you imagine?
40:38
Speaker 3: No, like, seriously, you earned it, girl, Yes, thank you,
40:44
Speaker 3: thank you.
40:44
Speaker 2: I have. I feel like I have.
40:47
Speaker 3: But I also feel like I'm in a place where
40:50
Speaker 3: I'm okay admitting that I do that I did, you.
40:54
Speaker 2: Know what I mean?
40:55
Speaker 3: Because sometimes I think we're so hard on ourselves of
40:57
Speaker 3: like we're not doing good if we're not working hard enough.
41:00
Speaker 2: And it's like, no, but how much more I've been
41:02
Speaker 2: working my ass or I have.
41:04
Speaker 3: Been and we'll always I love to work, but it's
41:07
Speaker 3: it's you don't always have to do it. What does
41:09
Speaker 3: it work smarter not harder? That's where I'm at.
41:12
Speaker 1: Is there music? Like is there something you still want
41:14
Speaker 1: to contribute to the music industry aside from your voice
41:18
Speaker 1: and your songwriting as always.
41:19
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't not in the same way, I'm
41:22
Speaker 3: always open to get on a record. I'm thankful that
41:26
Speaker 3: people do call still like I want to see you
41:28
Speaker 3: in shock a calm record right now.
41:29
Speaker 2: That's amazing. That's called a mortal queen. That's insane. You know.
41:34
Speaker 3: I did something on Doja's record, the latter last record,
41:36
Speaker 3: which was nice.
41:38
Speaker 2: So I'm open always to stuff.
41:40
Speaker 3: The twenty fifth anniversary of my first album has just passed,
41:43
Speaker 3: so we are kind of talking about reimagining certain things
41:46
Speaker 3: and maybe putting some new stuff on it for next year.
41:49
Speaker 3: So I will never say nothing because music is my
41:51
Speaker 3: first love for sure.
41:54
Speaker 1: Okay, if you can grab a card out of the stack? Oh,
41:56
Speaker 1: I went on this okay, which everyone calls.
42:01
Speaker 2: Should I shuffle them? Yeah? Do your thing?
42:02
Speaker 1: Please? You shuffle those like a card player.
42:07
Speaker 2: Because you know how I do oracle cards?
42:09
Speaker 4: You do?
42:09
Speaker 2: I love them?
42:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I'll do it for myself sometimes so that
42:12
Speaker 3: I do it always like that.
42:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's cool.
42:15
Speaker 3: Oh, a mistake you made along the way you'd like
42:18
Speaker 3: to save other people from.
42:20
Speaker 2: That's good.
42:23
Speaker 3: Don't question yourself so much, honestly, Like, believe, believe what
42:30
Speaker 3: you feel, trust your gut. I think that's the biggest
42:35
Speaker 3: thing for me that I didn't do enough. So believe
42:39
Speaker 3: what you feel.
42:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's the smartest decision you've ever made? Oh?
42:45
Speaker 2: Man, I don't know. There's a few I have.
42:49
Speaker 3: I don't think there's one, to be honest, I think
42:52
Speaker 3: I think without my husband, even I think I would
42:55
Speaker 3: have I probably wouldn't be living anywhere near California or
43:00
Speaker 3: New York, anywhere near the industry. So being away from
43:03
Speaker 3: the industry because I think that breeds that same feeling
43:07
Speaker 3: of trying to keep.
43:08
Speaker 2: Up all that kind of stuff. But also like I have.
43:10
Speaker 3: A great team, finding the team that really believes in me,
43:14
Speaker 3: like and really cares for me, not just what I
43:19
Speaker 3: churn out. That's important. That's a huge thing.
43:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, my last question. Yeah, a book you've read
43:26
Speaker 1: that changed your life? Something you think everybody should read.
43:28
Speaker 3: Oh, that's a good one, because there's a film one. Okay,
43:35
Speaker 3: this is an oldie, but a goodie, And to me
43:37
Speaker 3: it's such a classic, The Alchemist.
43:41
Speaker 2: It's just a good.
43:42
Speaker 3: Book and it's one that I go back to a
43:44
Speaker 3: lot it's just a good book.
43:47
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, yeah, you know, Kobe always said that, and
43:51
Speaker 1: it's like.
43:51
Speaker 2: No way, Yeah, it's such a good book.
43:54
Speaker 3: It's such a good book, like and you can always
43:57
Speaker 3: go back to it.
43:59
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, we're magical.
44:02
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thank you. Okay, you know what
44:10
Speaker 1: time it is. Today's a good day. To have a
44:12
Speaker 1: good day. I'll see you next week.