Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Are You Settling? | a conversation with Shellie Tomlinson

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Are You Settling? | a conversation with Shellie Tomlinson · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: My name is Amy Wicks, and I love to talk about the gospel message your heart was created to hear.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: All things Enneagram and helping you be confident that you are the best mom for your kids.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul-de-sac in the Midwest.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: I was alone and without family or community.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: But the Lord He didn't let me stay there.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: He helped me turn my brokenhearted moment into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my marriage, and my kids.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: I share brokenhearted perspective with story, but with wholehearted purpose and plan so you can live a life full of confidence and abundance.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal, mixed with a little bit of Enneagram coaching.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: So get to that pile of laundry or hit the treadmill or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: And be ready to be encouraged and challenged while you listen.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: So what if you actually enjoyed your faith and your faith held you up?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: Rather than it being one more thing, you were trying to maintain or grow.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: Well, as you might know, this month we've been focusing on wholehearted growth.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Even though we're all experiencing a very different season than we planned.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I know you're gonna love listening to this.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: We have to ask over growth and open our eyes and see how the Lord is moving in and among us.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Her phrase that she uses today, my want is broken.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I can't quite say it like if she did it's awesome, you'll have to listen for it.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: But it has done with me a lot these last few weeks.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: Because eventually, as I've realized how much my comfort is another my want for the Lord.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: But I think that all of us have experienced a lot of the major and that we've had an opportunity to reach out and want God to think our broken situations and our broken want to.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: And that he obliterated the bar of performance.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_02: And even in a season of undoing, we can rediscover Christ's love for us.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if I was podcasting last time we talked, but you know, I did live radio.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I did live radio for 10 to 12 years, I can't remember now.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And because I I did um like taped segments for a while that went to stations and then I switched to live radio.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think maybe live radio was only like 10 years, but anyway, you've been in the story.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, short story, I decided I had to have some find some more margin.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, like last year, it's been a full year now that I've been podcasting, I guess, and I need to do it more regularly, but that's my story.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, I literally took all my plate before the Lord and said, Okay, what do you want on here and what do you want off?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can't keep doing what you, you know, what you're asking of me.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Grandmother and I have aging parents.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all the story.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know the story.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: We all had the story, all the stuff.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just like laid it all out and I said, What do you want on?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want off?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so I really feel like Holy Spirit directed me to the podcasting and away from live radio, and that has opened up a little bit more time, but yes, but I don't do it as often as I need to.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: You're on a real good basis um schedule, aren't you?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: I do it every week.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: I I release a new thing every week, a new conversation.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Go you.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: But it's a full-time job, I'm not gonna lie, as a mom, and I'm you know, I work in our local church and serve and lead and mentor women in real time.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then I have a coaching service and I'm writing a book, and it's it's not easy, but it's it's what I started doing because I thought, well, that would be really fun to talk to cool people and share stories of people that I know.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: And and so it just has become this thing.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: I've I started it almost exactly three years ago.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: But um, yeah, and but it's all the time.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think we have to constantly put our plate before the Lord and go, all right, what did you actually put on here or what do I just want to because it all looks so good and I am the personality who wants to eat all the things me to and if we just assume that because it's on the plate, well it's supposed to be on the plate, we just gotta keep doing, you know, gosh, and and I'm I'm preaching to myself because I managed to do it that time, but I need to do it a lot more about a lot more things for you to like what yeah, like every day.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like what's on the plate, Lord, you know, and what's off but yeah, no, I well, I I'm excited to talk about growth because wholehearted growth, I mean, one of the steps is evaluating this.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and every season, I really encourage my moms um and just my friends in the audience that every season you do uh an evaluation of what worked really well, what did I love, what did I not love, and what do I want to take with me in the next season?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_02: Now it's great to do at the beginning of the year, the end of the year.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I, you know, we type it's great to do with everything, but how often do we do it with our our faith and our relationship with Christ, which is where we we need to be starting.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: But okay, yeah, so we need to grow in self-awareness in each of our season.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: And growth really begins with the self-awareness.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I've been going through oh man, I've been going through a lot of that in my life right now.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: But I think the main thing is we we actually have to start by wanting growth.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: So your book, Finding Deep and Wide, talks a lot about this idea of wanting it and desiring it.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: So, how do we get into that place of wanting the spiritual growth and wanting to hunger for more than what is just in front of us?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think the very best thing any of us can do is just take exactly where we are, keep taking it to Father God, like to say to him, like we can we can begin in the place of saying, I don't want to grow.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm I'm busy about this and that and the other, and I'm not desiring right now to grow in my faith.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: And and like he knows it.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, you know, we know he knows this, but that place of honesty and transparency and coming before him and saying, Look, I I need to be uh stimulated in my growth right now with you, Christ Jesus.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I need passion in my life, I need devotion that I'm not seeing, and to admit that and then ask him, you know, he he that's where he'll start.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he'll start right there with you saying, I need to grow, I need to go deeper and wider in you.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Help me, you know, it circumcise my heart to love you more, to hunger for you more.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I just believe in complete, totally going back and forth with honesty to the Lord all the time.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Just all the time.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that my big tip.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love how you write in that way where you're just sharing these conversations of going back and forth with the Lord.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I tell people all the time, I I tell the Lord, I this is me.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I've like got my hand up in Louisiana saying, I need more of you.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm always in front of him saying what I have uh tasted and known of you is so good, and yet I know there's more.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I want more, you know.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, see me right here wanting more, you know.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: What is the kind of advice that you give to those who you're sitting across the table with, or maybe there's a a few seats filled and you're sharing your heart who go, okay, I like I know I need to acknowledge that maybe I'm unsure that I even want to start down this road.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: What is it that you're encouraging them and speaking to them to take that next step after they are vulnerable and honest with the Lord?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think when once we are vulnerable and we admit to him, you know, my want-to is broken.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I have figured out that I'm wanting a lot of other things than what I need to want, you know, fix my want-to.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: We're all eve, reaching for other things, you know, for this cavernous heart.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: So once we acknowledge that, and like you said, we get to that admission of the broken want-to, then it's just a matter of reordering our thoughts and our minds every day, not not um waking up and ever coasting on where we are, but always saying, you know, again, I realize that I am going to default to me if you're not in this.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if I do not have my eyes on Christ Jesus, they're going to default to me.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I wake up in the morning saying, Lord, I want you.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: When my eyes are off of you, um, my I've already confessed to him, my want to is going to be broken and it's going to default to me if my eyes aren't on you.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so I ask him to just remind me, bring me back, just tell me when I'm reaching for other things.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: He is so eager.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: He is more willing than we are to answer, to pray that prayer.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: He's more willing to answer it.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so when we bring that to him, he will just meet us there and he will keep.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: He, I I find that when I tell him, you know, give me a just a neon light.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just like tap me on the shoulder and you know, pat me on the forehead, let me know when my when my um thoughts aren't on you and I'm not conscious of you.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I'm I'm thinking right now, even as I say that, people would say something to both of us, like, well, I don't even get that kind of language.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how can you be conscious of the Lord, you know, all the time while you're doing all these things that you've got to do during the day.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I just I I help, I hope I I have tools in finding deep and wide to help us all understand that we do that 24-7.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're always thinking about something else.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's just what are we holding in our thoughts?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: So we, while we're um, he's made our brains that way, it's just amazing.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: But while we're doing a myriad of tasks, we can also be conscious of the Lord and asking him to speak to us through the nature, through our children, through um the relationships that we're talking to at the table, you know, at any time, we all meditate, we just don't realize that we're meditating.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's what are we meditating on?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: So when we when we begin to partner with Holy Spirit and say, look, I realize that all day long I'm gonna be doing some thinking.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: There's gonna be a lot of thinking going on up here.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Help me think of you, you know, and remind me to retrain my thoughts and to so when we put the word in us early in the morning.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, I'm a huge advocate of that, and I know not everyone, um, maybe circumstances would be that you know they would have to read or um seek the Lord at night.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you at all can, I'm a huge advocate in the morning because it's my life experience that for me, yes, when I put my face before him in the morning, it's easier to keep my face before him through.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's such a different day.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's it sets the tone, even if it's this one verse, even if it's what you have on the mirror while you brush your teeth, and if that's all you have, or on your dashboard of your car, just that one snippet of truth can transform the day and keep your mind stayed on him because we do, we all have those thoughts.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: I I've been working through um Dr.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: Caroline Leaf has, you know, the like retrain your brain.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna quote the correct book title and all that sort of stuff, but yeah, you know, basically it's a scientific approach to a biblical principle where you take your thoughts captive and you you constantly like no one, I mean, I I've known about the Lord for 40 years, right?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: I've I've had that accessible to me.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: I've had the word of God, I've had verses hidden in my heart since I was a, you know, before I could barely talk.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: But I still have to take my thoughts captive captive.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: I still have negative thoughts, and I still have to put, you know, keep my mind stayed on him and practice all these things to stay in a place of growth and health and life.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, because what he has given us is the choice to do that.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: See, he's given us that choice from the Garden of Eden that Eve had, we have, that we can look around us and we can either say, I need this and that and the other, or throughout the day we can say, actually, what I need is you, you know, and I know that I need you.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: But um, my Sunday school class and I were actually talking about this Sunday morning, about how we um we have to choose him and choose him and choose him again, you know, all day, every day, um past that initial conversion experience.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: And and I said, if we can get our mind wrapped around that that's a good thing, yes, that we have to choose him, that we can yes, if we can change that paradigm, shift in our brain to say, you know, if I didn't have to choose you, then I wouldn't.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like I would just go on about Shelley's merry little way.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: But the fact that he has created us in a way that he has given us that choice to recenter our thoughts on him, to make him number one, means that we get to go back and go back and back.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think I said this yesterday.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you may hear this somewhere else.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: And and I'm sorry if I'm repetitive on on interviews these days, but it's in my heart right now.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Someone needs to hear it today.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: That is okay.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: So they need to hear it.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for that.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: So this is what I want to tell people, and like they can make one if I don't ever get around to it and put it on my website.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to make a book, uh, a Bible cover that um that you could buy at my site that would say on the front, come dot dot dot and keep coming, because that is the disconnect for so many of us, you know, that and keep coming.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's true with the word of God.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's what we have to do.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: We have to come to it and we have to keep coming to it.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's true in prayer, you know, it's why Paul said pray without ceasing.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: And people go again, well, I can't pray without ceasing.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you can.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: You're thinking without ceasing.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same thing.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just get out of prayer.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right, right.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: I thought it was really interesting along those lines uh that you texted friends, uh, and I don't even remember what chapter this was in, but you said that you you kind of texted a survey that just one questioning them if they felt like God was pleased with them.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: Because I think all of this ties in together, right?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: Because initially it's it's being vulnerable, right?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: We're raising our hand, saying, Lord, I don't even know that I want to, or you know, what do I want growth?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: And then there's the you know, choosing him every day and choosing to get in the word.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: But then then it kind of leads us to this question of do we live as if we're pleased, as as he is pleased with us.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_02: So I I'd just love for you to share the responses and just kind of your thoughts on that.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: I love, thank you for bringing that up.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to speak to that.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: But I will never forget that I can tell you right now, I remember where I was sitting when I texted a group of believers that were kind of all over the spectrum from ministers to you know people that was just following Christ, people that had been following Christ for longer than I have, you know, just all across the board.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I asked them because I had this suspicion that I needed to confirm where I was writing in the manuscript, that the majority of believers do not think God is pleased with them.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: That they they just do not, that we hear it, we we know it, you know, up here, but but we don't believe it.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, so I I I shot that question out and I was floored, but not by the initial response.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was floored, I was I was not surprised when I began to hear from people that no, they didn't really feel like that the Lord was pleased with them.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: And and it broke my heart because there's so many of these people that I knew that I mean, I know what life they're leading in Christ, you know.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: And and and they were saying to me that they didn't, but here's what surprised me is when they went on to explain why.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: So picture this.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm writing a book about encouraging us all to whet our appetites for more of him, to seek him more, to be in his presence, to realize that deep and wide life that's available to us.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason, the um common denominator reason that they gave for why they didn't think Christ was pleased with them, or they didn't live in a way that they felt God was pleased with them, is because they said they didn't spend enough time with him.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: It broke my heart because in in the midst of a book where I am encouraging us to do that very thing, there was the disconnect.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Staring at me on my phone that people felt like God was not pleased with them because they didn't spend enough time with God.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I I took us there in that chapter, and I began to explain um, if at least for me, what I take from John's writings.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: I love John.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: If I was marooned anywhere, you know, people say, What would you, what book would you have?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'd have John with me, you know, and I'd have the gospel of John, I'd have the uh first, second, third John, because John I knew this wonderful secret that's not a secret if you read his writing, because he jumped up on his box every time he could and talked about God's love for him, not his love for God.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: He was always talking about God's love for him.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I just love to encourage us to understand that when we put our confidence there in God's love for us and not ours for him, then our response to him begins to flower.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: And we find we seek him more and we find we look for him more, and and it's a natural progression out of believing that he's pleased and he loves us.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: But as long as we feel like whatever I'm doing is not enough, it's like we cap that.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: We put a cap over our growth when we do that.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: We limit our own growth.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: What did I I heard a song the other day?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I wish I could uh recall it right now.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm snapping my fingers.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: I know they can't see me, but I wish I could recall it.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: But it was something like we create the space of our own undoing.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought that was so deep for me.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, it speaks to that because we cap off our growth by saying, you know, I'm not doing this well enough.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just not doing this well enough.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so we just like cap off our growth instead of leaving that open-ended and saying, Oh Lord, but you want more for me than what I've experienced of you.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see how that just small shift just turns it off?
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Then it's like it's him.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: He does the heavy lifting when we just say, I want more than what I have.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, draw me on fix my heart and and cause me to want what you want, to love what you love.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: And boy, he he is willing to answer that question.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he sure does.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: I I think it's so interesting and leading into this question of just that response.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: I think one of the I mean, obviously there's a universal ache of I'm not doing enough.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_02: I think that not only trips us up from growth, but a lot of times, so as an Enneagram coach, right?
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I know we talked ahead of time, and you said Enneagram what?
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: Or Ennea what?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_02: I know I need to learn about it.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: I hear it all the time, but I have not stopped.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: You you need to teach me many things about it.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: I will, I will tell you all that you need to know.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: But I thought it was interesting throughout the book.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't know that you didn't know it because I just saw you highlight a lot of the core weaknesses that the Enneagram helps us have language for because they're things that we know.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: We just kind of struggle articulating what those are.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: But I think those core weaknesses trip us up, like this, you know, false belief and this mindset that God is never pleased enough with us, and then it just, you know, puts the cap on it.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: So, what what were some of the ways that you outlined in your book that we would be tempted to strive for growth that comes from our fears or our weaknesses instead of allowing the Lord to do the heavy lifting for us?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think some of those would be our checklist, you know, like I I've got to read my Bible, I've got to pray, I've got to confess everything I can think of and and more, you know, make sure I'm clean when I come before you.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I try to help us all understand that my access to God is not because of what I did do today or what I did not do today.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: When we hold on to the fact that our access to God's throne is always Jesus, it's Jesus the very first time we come to Him for salvation, and it is Jesus thereafter.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we need to read our Bible because that's where he speaks to us and he plants his word in our heart.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we need to commune with him in prayer, but those things do not earn us the access that we long for so much.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: So when we get that in order, and we just I call it run for the door.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: We just run for the door.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: The door is Christ Jesus, right?
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Revelation.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: There's no curtain.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he obliterated the bar of performance that we strive for.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: He just obliterated and he said, You're accepted.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're accepted with me through Christ Jesus.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: And Jesus is that door.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I call it just running for the door.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: When we realize that we can run for the door all day, every day, we what happens is we begin to run more, and then he has his way in us.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: But when we live to appease him, we never feel like we have appeased him, you know.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: So when we it's just backwards.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: But um, did you read the story that I told?
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: You remember the story about the grandchildren uh approaching me early in the morning when they stay at the house?
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think that is the best illustration of what I'm talking about, of what comes out of intimacy with Christ.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if I could tell our listeners just a moment, I talk about in the book that when my grandchildren stay overnight with us, they um stay in the guest room down a long hall in the back, and they know in the morning that they're gonna find me in my chair with my copy and Bible.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: They call me Keggy, it's my grandmother's name.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna find Keggy right there.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I I begin to explain what happens, what it looks like when they wake up and they have one thing on their mind, and that's to see Keggy.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I tell folks that what they don't do is get to the door of the room where I'm in, and they don't stop right there, and they don't peek in and try to figure out what kind of mood Keggy's in, if she if they should run to Keggy or if they should walk slowly, if they should sing loud or sing lost, you know, low.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: They don't begin to wonder if Keggy's mad at them because they ate candy yesterday.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: She told them I took the candy last night and they ate it anyway.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they don't they don't do any of that.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: No, you know, they simply round the corner and they launch themselves towards me.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully I put my coffee down because they they launch and they land, right?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: And we begin to cuddle.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then I tell my um these precious readers that out of that intimacy that happens then.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: We begin to cuddle and love on each other.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: I may discipline them, I may bring up the candy, I may tell them what we're gonna do that day and what I expect and don't expect, but all of that, the affection, the correction, the direction, every bit of it comes out of the intimacy.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: We shortchange ourselves because we try to do all that to get to the intimacy.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: And Jesus Christ said, I did that.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: I have done it.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's open.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: So come to me, and then out of that intimacy, he will do the correcting and the directing.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good word, Shelly.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: I that's such a great picture because we've either been the grandparent or we have had those grandparents or those people in our lives that we knew there was free access to, and we could just run and leap into their arms and be accepted.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: And that is in in uh February, we focused on wholehearted love, and that's how I began the month is just this idea of God, God loves you 100%, regardless of what you do, and regardless of what you didn't do.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_02: And and just as you are, and the benefit is in receiving that love so you can then love wholeheartedly in return.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you said it, girl.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: That was a mouthful.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: I loved that.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna listen to that back just so I can hear what you said.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, good.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, one of the things that I want to cover before we let you go is this idea of celebration and celebration tying into growth.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because I don't know about you, but if it's not somewhat fun or if I can't figure out a way to celebrate, then it ain't gonna stick.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: That's why coffee goes along with the Bible in the morning.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: It just makes it a whole happy experience.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_02: And on occasion, a fire in the fireplace to make it even better.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: But what um, in addition to encouraging honesty and integrity, um, you know, to in your own heart and then in others, what are some of the steps that you share in your book to hunger for growth?
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_02: And and what does it look like to celebrate along the way to almost to keep us hungry, right?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: Because the celebration and the fun keeps us hungry and keeps us going.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that celebration, and and I sound I um it occurs to me I sound a little bit like a broken record, but I'm it's a good broken record because it's about Christ.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's when we learn to celebrate that, to celebrate what Christ has done.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: We can't think about it too much.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: We cannot, you know, you you know a whole lot about it.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: I know a lot about it, but we don't know a fraction of what there is to learn about what Christ has done for us in reconciling us to the Father.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we can't think about that enough.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: So when we learn to just celebrate the fact that we are in Him, when we we live that way, and we're like, tell me something I don't know, you know, instead of this attitude of okay, I'm saved, I'm settled, and now I'm trying to deal with life.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: But instead we go, no, I want to celebrate the fact that you live in me to do this life with me.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm waking up today and I'm going, okay, let's do this life.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want to show me?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what do you want to um unshow me?
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because maybe, you know, I know something that's not true, and you want to, you know, open my eyes to that, and boy, he'll do that as well.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: But just to celebrate the fact that he said, you know, I want to do this life with you.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: I I didn't rescue you, I didn't save you so that I can know you in eternity.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know you right now.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I want to live with you right now and direct you right now.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that that turns everything on its head.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not at all saying that it makes every day a Mary Poppins, wonderful sunshiny day.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: It does not because he promised us there would be trouble, but he also promised us that he would be with us in it.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: So when we live listening, just listening, just looking and listening, he speaks, he he never stops speaking.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: His name is the word, he he's always talking.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's just living in our just training ourselves to be listening.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's how we celebrate.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's so good.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: Uh when you sit across the table from those who are going, he tell me something that I don't know that I need to know, what does that look like?
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_02: What's besides just getting in the word every day, what are some of those those practices that you do in your week or in your day that keep you grounded and and keep you, you know, meditating on the word, even if you can't reach for your Bible right then or open your Bible?
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's a mindset of warning more.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, that looks like, you know, um, there was a time when I may have read my devotional, read my Bible, had a quiet time, as we say in in the church.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then you know, then walked into tried.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sometimes it's far from quiet, but then I would walk into my day almost as if that was that, and now I'm going into the my real world, you know, as if God stayed in my quiet time.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's a mindset of going, yeah, you know, I'm gonna feed on this word, I'm gonna um I'm gonna nurse myself on in prayer and on the word of God.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then as I go into the day, then I'm also looking for every opportunity.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe I didn't have the time that morning that I wanted, but I'm in the car and I have back those choices.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: I have choices ever before me of what I can listen to.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: And what I'm listening to can nourish me, it can teach me more.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I can pull up a podcast, I could listen to a teaching, or I could choose to veg out and be with my own thoughts, you know, and and not grow.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: And and so I have that choice, and you do too, all the time.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I just like to I ask the Lord to remind me of that.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: But my my walk with Christ began to change.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: I guess what I'm trying to say, and I use so many words to say it, but I guess what I'm trying to say is it's yeah, that's why we love tapping to you.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you, thank you, sweetie.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: It changed for me when I began to look for every opportunity to get God's word in me.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so the more we do that, and so we reach for that that other podcast or you know, um, the Bible on audio, I mean, we have so many opportunities now.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: We carry around a phone that has a Bible out that the Word of God could be read to us.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: And we could have that word going in.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, we have all these all these tools at our disposal.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: So when I begin to look for additional opportunities to get the word in me, instead of thinking, oh, I got some word in me today, check.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm good.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: So when I begin to change my mindset and say, you know what, the more word I can get in me, the more I learn of you, and the more I learn of you, the more I want of you.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: And and change that mindset into never settling for what I know, but always celebrating who you are and what you want to teach me next.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so I I tell him, like, I there's so many things I don't know.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: Teach me something else.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, teach me something else.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: That's so good.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: I I think definitely the theme this month for growth really stems back to.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: I know Wendy Pope and I had that conversation, and just with you as well, that it's about getting in the word and being staying hungry for it and realizing that we never arrive.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's always more to learn, more revelation for us and more to grow.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: And and the Lord will help us stay hungry if we ask him, if we're willing to be vulnerable.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't even know if I want to stay hungry, but but I'm I'm raising my hand so he will help us.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: And and and I'm sorry if you're hearing something serious, says she doesn't know what we're talking about.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_00: My boss besides being serious, like I do not understand what you're talking about.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: So clearly we both need to administer to Siri, but I'm sorry about that.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: I should have had, I hope that didn't pick up.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's fine.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_02: It'll be it'll be just fine.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_02: Uh well, maybe Siri was telling us it's time to sign off because it is about time to sign off.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_02: But Shelly, I've I've loved this conversation.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: I I think it's really great.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_02: We always need to be reminded to it's just as basic as getting into the word again and and staying hungry, staying thirsty, and getting our nourishment from the word of God.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_02: So I love this book and I I just love you, and I hope that I get to see you in person really soon.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna try we're gonna try to make that happen already.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I love to be in with you.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for having me back.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_02: Anytime, Shelly.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: Bye.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: Are you ready to run to God and rest in his transformation?
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_02: I hope this season reminds you to stay hungry and realize we have always have more to learn.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_02: You can get to Shelly's about the finding deep and wide, stop battling for the life you have and live the one Jesus died to give you on Amazon now.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd love it if you would give her a follow on Instagram and send her a direct message to let her know what you learned from this conversation.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: And if you know a mom who could use some encouragement during these crazy times, I'd love it if you share this conversation with her to let her know that you are thinking of her.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_02: And next week we'll be back with a new series on motherhood, just in time for Mother's Day.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_02: Be sure you're subscribed so you don't miss an episode.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_02: So until next time, let's pursue perspective and purpose and plans for us assembly wholehearted life.