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Minisode: Toffee Pudding with Rosebud Baker and Andy Haynes · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to a couple's Counseling with Chelsea. I am
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: here with my friends Rosebud Baker and her husband Andy Haynes. Hi,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Rosebud and Andy, thank you for being here today as
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: a couple.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Thank you for thank you for having us because we
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: haven't been to couples there being a few weeks.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, great, that's why I would like to fill the void. However,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I can. I know that you guys have had a lot,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: You have a long history together, right, Can you break
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: that down for our listeners, give us kind of like
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: a summary. Sure, When you first became sexually attracted to Andy?
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: So, so the first time I met Andy was at
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: our friend's wedding.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: It was the first time that I met you, But
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: it was the first time that we like hung out.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: And I wouldn't describe it as like a strong, burning
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: sexual attraction. I would say I enjoyed being around him
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: because he made me laugh.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that to me is sexually attractive.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm saying. But it wasn't like, oh,
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: this guy's gonna wreck me.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: No, historical women have not been sexually attracted to me.
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: It's aid more of a breaking them down kind of processing.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Right, And that's where you had to come in with
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: a humor exactly to develop the humor, because the humor
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: is a much more powerful aphrodisiac than looks anyway, right,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the way
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: that you look. I just want to I just want
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: to acknowledge that we're all sitting here together and that we're.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Just starting there. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with how you look. Andy,
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: thanks so much.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: So.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I remember, if I recall correctly, you guys kind of
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: like left that party together, didn't you, and you kind
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: of spent the next what four or five hours together?
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: We took it, We took a Yeah, we took a
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: drive together, and then Andy tried to come upstairs and
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: I was like, you know, and then like three days later,
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: I was like, actually maybe, and then we hung out.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: We slept together once and basically he moved into my apartment.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Oh wow.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It was like very impulsive alcoholic vibes, but.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: You weren't drinking at that time, where, you know, but
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: you got.
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: To find where you can get them, you know.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, yeah, absolutely, And when you're both sober, isn't there
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: a rule that you shouldn't be dating.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: There's no rules for us. It's like we've been sober.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Long enough, so that wasn't a part of the attraction
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: was that he was sober.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: It was part of it, yeah, because it was like, oh,
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: we have like a similar language. There's like a he
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: works on himself, that kind of a thing where I
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: was like, Oh, he's in therapy, he's sober. I was
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: attracted to both of those things. He's funny and also
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: he's like as impulsive and down for whatever as I am.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: So that automatically was like, Oh, he's so easy to
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: be around. I'm so excited to be around this person.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: We had so much fun. And then we got engaged
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: like nine months later.
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: Uh huh, I think six six six months later, Yeah,
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: pretty sure.
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we hooked up for the first time like in
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: October and we were engaged my birthday.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so yeah, we got engaged five months.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: And were you when you started dating Rosebud? Were you like,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: this is it? This is the woman for me?
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: It was weird.
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: It was like I was like had been freshly single
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: for the first time in a long time, where I
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: wasn't being a compulsive monogamist and then I.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Thought you were just going to say you had like
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: a sex addiction.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: I was like, no, I had better odds.
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: But you have to consent.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't. You have to be more than funny
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: to have a sex addiction. You can't just use your humor.
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because I'm also very fickle. It's a bad combination.
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: But I met her and we hit it off, and
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: I was like kind of like, oh, I'm not going
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: to get in a relationship, and then things moved really fast.
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: And not to spill the tea, but Rosebud said I
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: love you first.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, said while we were having sex.
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: While we're having sex.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I know, doesn't count when you say that while you're
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: having sex, because it's like everyone's impulse.
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: Is when she stopped and she said I think I
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: love you.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: And then continued to have sex.
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: I think we were done, but we were.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: You know, post coital, so someone had climaxed. Yeah, and
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I'm guessing that was you, not Rosebud.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: I'm a pretty gen I would say I was raised
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: by women, not that.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: That were you sleeping with those women.
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: I had to go down on my mom alone. No,
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: but I just I never was one of those guys.
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: I mean, I definitely not pleased a woman, Let's let's
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: get that out there. But I think I'm a pretty
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: reciprocal lover, you know.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, this is a little off piece, but I
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: was just watching this news show that's coming out on
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Stars because I was interviewing the author, and there was
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: a blowjob scene where one of the girls, Betty Gilpin,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: she plays one of the girls. It's called Three Women
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: by Lisa Todeo. They made it a TV show and
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: she's having an affair with the guy and she gives
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: a blowjob in the backseat with like a toffee pudding.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: She got a to go toffee pudding, poured it over
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: his penis and was sucking on it. And I was like,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: this is going to be such inspiration for so many
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: women and men when they see this.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Speakers doing much for me.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Well, you have to see it, and then you have
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: to think about how how wonderful that's going to be
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: for yourself actual partner, because I'm not even in a
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: serious relationship. And I was like, I can't wait to
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: do this to someone because it just seems so pleasure giving.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: So I just want to throw that out there. That
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: just hit me. I mean, I'm not ordering you know,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: you to do it.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: I'm just say maybe you are giving him ideas I'm giving.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: You, guys, and you could possibly flip it a reverse
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: it and use it on her so that she doesn't
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: even have to do it.
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: That seems.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: I saw it and I was like this needs like
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: this is good. Whoever thought this up? Like, I just
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: thought this was going to be helpful for so many
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: couples that have hit Not that you guys have hit
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: a stale place in your relationship, but I.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Just had a kid, So that's that's a you hit it.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: You hit a wall for sure.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: What Okay, what's that? What's the what is that? What
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: is the wall that you hit?
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: You just you become like kind of like farm hands
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: in your own home, and you just sort of are
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: like you're just like doing tasks all day and then
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: by the time you're done, you're both just like, oh
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: got like the most sexual thing you can think of
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: is lying in bed without anyone touching you, because truly,
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: there's just someone pulling your hair out all day.
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: I think I got like Rosebud went through so much,
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: like her body changed so much, and then she had
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: to literally get her organs moved around to get the
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: baby out, and I was kind of like, I don't
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: think she wants anybody touching her for a while, and
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: so I kind of took that as my guiding principles
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: for the first four months.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was about four months before I was ready
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: to like, let's get into it.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Let's get the party started again. Well, that's very respectful
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: and necessary for men to actually understand what happens to
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: a woman's body and her insides, because yeah, anyone who
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: has a baby isn't a horny right who has just
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: had a baby.
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I mean.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: I guess there's women that are, but I'm like, but
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: are there. I'm just like, if they are, I wish
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: they'd keep it to themselves.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: That's right, because it's a downer and it's not fair
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: to give men that kind of idea.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: Yes, right, yes, exactly.
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: I do kind of wish I was the kind of
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: man that didn't care, you know what I mean. I
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: think I would like to be.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: Because it's like alpha fantasy.
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, right, Like you.
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: Know, I work on Wall Street and I check in
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: with her once in a while about her days, and
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: then I cheat on her with someone.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but he doesn't listen to anything I say. He
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: wants to be that man, but he's not.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Well, you guys have different even though you have a
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: lot in common, you have different personality types. Very you
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: like to plan shit, and you don't want anything to
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: do with planning.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: No, I don't want to.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I don't either.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: I don't neurologically opposed to it.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I don't like any logistical talk. Yes, I don't want
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: to look on a map and I don't want to
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: plan where we're going. I don't want you to tell
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: me where to be. And then I'll bring a fucking
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: funny personality or whatever. It'll be upbeat.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: No, I'll bring the party and you can bring the map. Yeah,
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: that's how I feel. But is this a point of
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: contention ever?
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Like, does it ever escalate into a fight because your
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: planning becomes so annoying to her?
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: Well, the the problem is is that Rosebud doesn't plan anything.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: And then you know, I have an entire life over here.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: At one Wall Street.
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: Is that the wry Yeah, I work at the Patriot
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: Center and the head of four X there. But no,
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: I mean, like, you know, we have different schedules and
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: then like I'll try to do something where it's like, hey,
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: would you like to do something as married people? And
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: she I have to coordinate that because her schedule's so
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: busy and she gets so annoyed by just the asking
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: of it, to where.
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: I'm like, all right, I'm not going to plan anything anymore.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then and then I'm like, where are we
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: going on dates?
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah? It does.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: It bothers me. I wish I wasn't like this. I
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: do try to like take a deep breath now.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: It gets so easily irritated.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: By the way I do get freely irritated. I know
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: exactly what you mean, not even it doesn't even make sense.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: It's not even at him. It's like anyone in my
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: life that asks me like, hey, what do you have
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: this weekend of this month in this year, and I
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: just immediately shut down.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't even want to talk to you anymore.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: I agree. I don't like when people ask me in
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: advance for things. It's like, who fucking knows? I could
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: be dead by that. You know, it hit me back on,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: say back on the Tuesday.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: Before the Wednesday, and I'll let you know, right I
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: could be in the hospital.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: So with those things, can't you just go into her
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: calendar and schedule a dinner and put it in there sometimes?
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: But isn't that it's not always there.
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: But I'm more like, I want to do something for
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: a week in the summer, you know what I mean?
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: Like that, like, and I know that Rosebud's going to
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: fill the entire calendar with work if she can, so
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: I have to be like, can we do this?
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: And she usually now.
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: Will go like, Okay, I'm not going to do anything
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: for these two weeks or something like that, And so
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: that's my That.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Was kind of like your Christmas trip that you had
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: planned for Rosebud's birthday that she canceled, which was for
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: you because you like skiing. You guys were coming, and
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: then she pulled out and was like, no, no, I
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: don't like these plans for you.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that was true. That was actually a rare
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: occasion though where Andy was like, a WEE can cancel?
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Was he was disappointed, but he wasn't like I could
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: tell he was as overwhelmed as I was.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: Well, traveling with a baby is fucking up.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: It was absolutely, I mean, we had done it all summer,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: and I was like, we went from being like the
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: most dignified people in the airport to being just everything
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: on our backs, like like squatting in a corner feeding her.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Like.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: It was just it was crazy to me how the
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: stuff that I used to judge parents for in the airport.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, this is an unavoidable reality of
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: just like moving around with a baby. Yeah, And I
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: was like, this is I told myself I will never
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: I would be pregnant. It was like seven months pregnant
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: walking by these one and being like not me, and
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: it fully was. It was just disgusting.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: I was like, because I love Whistler, That's what the
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: first place I ever skied when I was two years old,
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: So I was super excited. And then the idea of
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: getting on the plane with the baby, I was like,
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: I don't ever need to travel again.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it beat us down.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: And that's all for this week with Rosebud and Andy.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Tune in next time as we continue couples counseling at Chelsea.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: You can check out Rosebud and Andy's podcast. It's called
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Find Your Beach. Andy will be on tour in Dallas,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Oklahoma City and Tulsa in September, Amsterdam on October twenty fifth,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: and then he has two dates in Milwaukee in December,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: so check out his Instagram and TikTok at I'm Andy
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Haynes hay Nes for tickets to those dates and for more,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: and you can find both Andy and Rosebud on YouTube.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Rosebud will be taping her new special on September sixteenth
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: in New York at the Village Underground and you can
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: get tickets to this and more of her dates at
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: rosebud Baker dot com and you can find her on
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Instagram and TikTok at rosebud Baker. Upcoming shows that I have.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I'm coming to Texas, I'm coming to Saint Louis and
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Kansas City, and then I will be in Las Vegas
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. I'm
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: coming to Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: November eighth, and I have tickets on sale throughout the
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: end of the year in December, so if you're in
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem, or San Diego or
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: New Orleans or Omaha, check Chelsea handler dot com for
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Dickens okay,