Latest / Suze Orman's Women & Money (And Everyone Smart Enough To Listen) / Classic Suze School: The Keys to a Successful Relationship
Transcript
- 0:08Robert: September 24th, 2026. Welcome to the Women and Money podcast,
- 0:12Robert: as well as everyone smart enough to listen, Robert, the
- 0:16Robert: producer here, and for today's classic Suze School. We're gonna
- 0:20Robert: go back a couple of years for part of an
- 0:22Robert: episode that originally dropped on Suze and KT's wedding anniversary.
- 0:27Robert: You'll hear their keys to making a successful relationship, not
- 0:31Robert: only with each other, but with their money as well.
- 0:34Robert: And just as a reminder, we'll have a brand new
- 0:36Robert: podcast for you this coming Sunday, and now, here's Suze.
- 0:46Suze: I gave a seminar to about 200 people, and there
- 0:51Suze: was one question that seemed to strike a chord with
- 0:55Suze: the audience more than really any question that I was asked,
- 1:00Suze: and the question was:
- 1:02Suze: "Suze, how do you deal with a relationship, when maybe
- 1:08Suze: you're the saver, your spouse or partner is not? How
- 1:11Suze: do you deal with it with kids?" But it seemed
- 1:14Suze: like that was when the audience really, really perked up.
- 1:19Suze: How do you have a successful relationship when it comes
- 1:25Suze: to finances?
- 1:27Suze: Miss Travis is sitting in the room with us right now.
- 1:34Suze: KT, what makes our relationship successful, financially speaking?
- 1:41Suze: What do you think that is, and what advice...
- 1:45KT: Well, the first is so easy, Suze. We both have 100%
- 1:51KT: transparency and communication with each other. We have never ever
- 1:56KT: hidden or not disclosed or we're afraid to talk about
- 2:01KT: money with each other ever. And for me speaking about
- 2:05KT: money has always been extremely easy, very easy, which makes
- 2:09KT: me the perfect partner for Suze Orman.
- 2:12KT: But I think that is the key is communication, communication, communication.
- 2:17Suze: Besides communication, because obviously everybody, it is really, really important
- 2:22Suze: to get out your little Suze notebooks. What is the
- 2:26Suze: key or keys to a successful relationship financially speaking, because
- 2:33Suze: if you can't be successful financially speaking, trust me, you
- 2:39Suze: are not gonna be successful on any other level. You're
- 2:41Suze: just not. Remember, one out of two people who get married,
- 2:46Suze: get divorced... couples. That's the number one reason for divorce is
- 2:50Suze: arguments over money.
- 2:52KT: What's the number two for you?
- 2:54Suze: Number two for me, truthfully, is to, yes, we're totally
- 2:59Suze: one with our love, our communication, our relationship.
- 3:05Suze: But also you are one with your money.
- 3:09KT: Oh totally.
- 3:09Suze: With your money. I am one with my money, even
- 3:13Suze: though we know your money and my money is our money.
- 3:18Suze: You have total autonomy over the money that is in
- 3:22Suze: your name. You are not dependent upon me in terms
- 3:26Suze: of how to invest it. You have your own relationship
- 3:30Suze: with the brokerage firm, that you're totally independent with it.
- 3:34Suze: You look at your statements, you look at my statements.
- 3:38Suze: I don't look at statements because I look at them online,
- 3:41Suze: and I'm looking at it every single day.
- 3:44Suze: But I think the key, everybody, for our success is
- 3:48Suze: that KT has power over her own money.
- 3:53Suze: And I think we've set up our relationship in such
- 3:56Suze: a way that KT has trust that the power in
- 4:01Suze: this relationship is not because maybe I make more money
- 4:05Suze: than KT.
- 4:06KT: Always have. She's always had far more money than me,
- 4:11KT: but that doesn't matter..
- 4:12Suze: Who's really the powerful one in this relationship?
- 4:15KT: KT.
- 4:16Suze: And why do you think that is?
- 4:17KT: I, I know it is.
- 4:19Suze: But why? Because so many times, KT, seriously, people get
- 4:24Suze: into when they're in a relationship that the person who
- 4:28Suze: has the most money, the person who makes the most money,
- 4:32Suze: has the most power in the relationship. So why is that?
- 4:38Suze: That really in our relationship and everybody knows this to
- 4:41Suze: be true, you have the most power.
- 4:44KT: I make decisions.
- 4:45Suze: And I don't?
- 4:47KT: You, you weigh in. You're a Gemini. She's a Gemini,
- 4:52KT: which means that she weighs in. She changes her mind.
- 4:55KT: She's not sure. She goes back, she analyzes things. I
- 4:58KT: can make a decision, flat out. Whether it's right or wrong is
- 5:03KT: another podcast, but I do make decisions and I stick
- 5:07KT: by them, and I have incredible confidence in my decisions.
- 5:11Suze: And because she has confidence in her decisions and because
- 5:16Suze: she has power and knowledge of who she is in life.
- 5:21Suze: When she decides something, even if I disagree with it,
- 5:25Suze: I say yes, do it, because my job in this
- 5:30Suze: relationship isn't always to be right, isn't to be the
- 5:33Suze: one that makes decisions and do da da da da. No.
- 5:36Suze: The key in this relationship, everybody, is for me to
- 5:40Suze: make sure that KT feels mutually respected.
- 5:46Suze: Admired, honored that when she says something, I say, OK,
- 5:53Suze: that I don't put her decisions down, that I do
- 5:56Suze: come to her and I ask that we have equal power.
- 6:03KT: Yeah, I think Suze, it's respect, it's trust, it's communication.
- 6:08KT: It's not even equal power. It's not the word power.
- 6:11KT: It's more the word um. you know, sharing, we're kind
- 6:15KT: of in it together. We're in it together, and I
- 6:19KT: think that we have very, very uniquely different roles, but
- 6:23KT: we respect each other's roles, and one role isn't more
- 6:27KT: important than the other.
- 6:28Suze: But we're talking about finances now, KT. So when we
- 6:33Suze: first met.
- 6:35Suze: Because a lot of people say, "Suze, my spouse is
- 6:38Suze: so horrible with money," or "Suze, my spouse doesn't understand money.
- 6:42Suze: I do. They don't wanna learn about money." Whatever it
- 6:46Suze: may be.
- 6:47KT: When Suze and I met, which was very, well, we
- 6:50KT: were 50 when we met each other.
- 6:53Suze: Actually when we met, we were, we were about, you
- 6:55Suze: were 48. I was 49.
- 6:57KT: So, and we were both, I was a baby millionaire
- 7:00KT: and Suze was a very big millionaire, so we already
- 7:04KT: met each other with significant wallets, let's put it that way.
- 7:08Suze: But you knew nothing about that wallet.
- 7:09KT: I knew nothing about finances. I was always extremely responsible
- 7:17KT: and good with the money I had. I wish I
- 7:20KT: knew Suze a lot earlier. I did not know anything
- 7:24KT: about finances, investments, things like that, but I was very responsible,
- 7:29KT: not in debt, never in debt.
- 7:31Suze: Never in debt. So that's a big key, everybody, when
- 7:34Suze: you get in a relationship, you better know is your
- 7:37Suze: spouse to be or partner to be in debt? What
- 7:41Suze: do you know about them financially speaking?
- 7:44Suze: Write this down. You need to be as intimate financially
- 7:48Suze: speaking as you are personally with your spouse or your partner.
- 7:54Suze: Don't be afraid to talk about money. So when KT
- 7:59Suze: and I first met, and this is the main reason
- 8:03Suze: I wanted you on today, KT. When we first met...
- 8:08Suze: I wasn't afraid to ask KT serious questions about how
- 8:14Suze: much money do you have, what do you owe on
- 8:17Suze: your home, if anything? Do you have a car? Are
- 8:20Suze: you leasing it? What do you have? and what's going
- 8:24Suze: on in your finances? When KT answered, the truth of
- 8:30Suze: the matter is what KT?
- 8:33KT: When I met her, I was so proud that I
- 8:35KT: had this whole life insurance policy sold to me while
- 8:40KT: I was working in Hong Kong, making a lot of money,
- 8:44KT: and this was sold to me under the guise that
- 8:46KT: this would be a great way to have a retirement
- 8:49KT: fund in my later years, and I was so excited.
- 8:53KT: I was real proud. I thought, oh, this is gonna
- 8:55KT: impress her, she's gonna love this.
- 8:58KT: Well, that's not exactly what happened.
- 9:01Suze: She put in $15,000 a year on her birthday into
- 9:06Suze: this for 10 years. She deposited $150,000 in this policy.
- 9:17Suze: Now you tell the rest, KT.
- 9:19KT: She looked at me. She said, OK, we're gonna cancel.
- 9:21KT: I said, What?
- 9:22Suze: And why are we gonna cancel? What was your cash value?
- 9:25KT: It was very little. It was $50,000.
- 9:27Suze: Now here's my question to you. During the time that
- 9:29Suze: you owned this investment, had you ever bothered to even
- 9:33Suze: look at what it was really worth?
- 9:36KT: No, not really, because I just trusted it was a
- 9:39KT: great thing I was doing every year by putting that
- 9:42KT: money in.
- 9:43Suze: This is very important. Whether you're in a relationship, you're
- 9:47Suze: not in a relationship, you cannot just do something every
- 9:51Suze: single year or month and not look at the results
- 9:55Suze: of what you are doing. KT had never bothered to
- 9:59Suze: look at what was that $15,000 a year doing.
- 10:05Suze: Well, I'll tell you what it was doing. It was
- 10:07Suze: making her insurance agent rich.
- 10:10KT: It was, yeah, he got a big, and I like,
- 10:13KT: I liked him so much, and I said, he sends
- 10:16KT: me a birthday card and, and holiday cards every year,
- 10:19KT: and she said, of course he does, KT.
- 10:22Suze: The point of the matter is I wasn't afraid when
- 10:25Suze: we first met to ask her about her money, look
- 10:29Suze: at her money, see that after all those years, 10
- 10:33Suze: years of doing something, she only had 50,000 in this investment.
- 10:39Suze: So we had open communication for her to listen, but
- 10:43Suze: not all of a sudden go, no, Suze...
- 10:45Suze: this was good and stand by it so that she
- 10:49Suze: didn't have to appear wrong. She immediately canceled it. So
- 10:53Suze: many of the things, truthfully, KT, that you were doing
- 10:56Suze: based on the advice of other financial people, whether it
- 11:00Suze: was with your home, your car, whatever it may be,
- 11:04Suze: they were all wrong. They were just wrong, but we
- 11:10Suze: had the open communication to make it right.
- 11:15Suze: So that's what's important is for you to be able
- 11:19Suze: to talk about everything. We knew each other's FICO scores.
- 11:24Suze: We looked into everything about both of our personal finances.
- 11:29Suze: Nothing was a secret between us. What's important is that
- 11:35Suze: during that time, KT, from then 'till now...
- 11:40Suze: It's amazing how you scour everything, right? The mail comes in.
- 11:46Suze: Obviously we own a lot of individual stocks, probably close
- 11:51Suze: to 70, believe it or not, and when you own
- 11:55Suze: an individual stock, you get these prospectuses. You get these
- 11:59Suze: annual reviews. KT, what do you do with everyone that
- 12:03Suze: comes in?
- 12:03KT: Every single one I look and, and you also get
- 12:05KT: an individual statement on the buy and sell call for
- 12:09KT: the stocks. I look at every single one, every one,
- 12:14KT: and if there's something that looks a little odd or
- 12:16KT: I don't understand a term.
- 12:19KT: I immediately either look it up or make a phone
- 12:22KT: call or ask Suze what does this mean.
- 12:24Suze: Right now, the reason that that is important is that
- 12:29Suze: KT went from knowing nothing about her money, even though
- 12:34Suze: she was good with saving her money.
- 12:37Suze: To now knowing every possible thing there is to know
- 12:42Suze: about her money except understanding inherited IRAs which she never
- 12:49Suze: wants to hear about that topic again as long as
- 12:51Suze: you live.
- 12:52KT: Tell them what I said after we did that podcast.
- 12:54KT: I said, Suze, I'd better die before you.
- 12:58KT: Because if I, if you die before me and I
- 13:01KT: have to deal with this thing and listen to this
- 13:03KT: podcast about inherited IRAs, I'm gonna go crazy.
- 13:06Suze: The good news is though, KT, you're my spouse, so
- 13:10Suze: you don't have to think about a lot of that stuff.
- 13:13Suze: You just need to know you are an eligible designated beneficiary,
- 13:18Suze: and really, given that we're almost the same age, it
- 13:21Suze: will just go into your account. That's all you need
- 13:24Suze: to remember, all right? That's it. Simple, right?
- 13:27Suze: The next thing that you need to write down is
- 13:31Suze: that if you're in a relationship, you both need to
- 13:36Suze: take responsibility for everything.
- 13:39Suze: We both look at the bills that come in. We
- 13:43Suze: make sure that everything that we're charged for, whatever it is,
- 13:47Suze: that it is something that we purchased, that it is
- 13:51Suze: something that we have, we both look at it. It's
- 13:55Suze: just not KT's responsibility when it comes to our monthly
- 13:58Suze: expenses and everything. It is both of our responsibilities.
- 14:04Suze: So if you want a great personal relationship, you have
- 14:08Suze: to have a great financial relationship where you are both
- 14:13Suze: wanting to know everything about what's going on with your
- 14:17Suze: money every single month. So, you need to make a
- 14:21Suze: date once a month, that when everything comes in, you
- 14:25Suze: sit down and you look at it, but not like, oh,
- 14:28Suze: I have to look at it.
- 14:30Suze: You do it like we get to look at what
- 14:34Suze: our money that we have put all our efforts into
- 14:37Suze: earning is making for us. Oh, we get to look
- 14:41Suze: at how we are spending our money. Are we spending
- 14:45Suze: it wisely or are we wasting it? Oh, we get
- 14:49Suze: to cut expenses here, whether you have to cut expenses
- 14:53Suze: or not. You get enjoyment out of saving.
- 14:58Suze: True saving. And if you can start to do those
- 15:02Suze: things and be open, then you will have a successful
- 15:07Suze: personal relationship as well. How does this relate back to
- 15:12Suze: the topic that I started with?
- 15:15Suze: In the same way that when you get into a
- 15:18Suze: personal relationship with somebody, you enter it with the desire
- 15:24Suze: and the hope, that you're in it for the long term,
- 15:29Suze: in essence, 'till death do you part, that is part
- 15:34Suze: of the vows that many of you have taken.
- 15:38Suze: And as you know, my belief with money, is money
- 15:43Suze: is just a physical manifestation of who you are. You know, everybody,
- 15:48Suze: that I believe that. So the truth of the matter is,
- 15:52Suze: you are also in a long term relationship with your money,
- 15:59Suze: and when you invest, you invest your money just like
- 16:04Suze: you're investing in a personal relationship.
- 16:08Suze: You're investing in it for the long term. It is
- 16:12Suze: not short term. It's not five years, two years, it's
- 16:17Suze: long term, and just like in a personal relationship where
- 16:21Suze: there are ups, there are downs obviously there are fights.
- 16:25Suze: There are disagreements. KT and I have arguments. We have disagreements.
- 16:30Suze: We do things that we wish we hadn't or we
- 16:33Suze: say things that sometimes we wish we hadn't, but since
- 16:36Suze: we know we're in this for the long term...
- 16:39Suze: Our thoughts never go to, oh this is it, we're
- 16:43Suze: out of it. Same thing with money and your investments.
- 16:48Suze: There are times when it's up, times when it's down,
- 16:52Suze: but you cannot just think, no, I'm out of it.
- 16:55Suze: I'm selling. I'm gone. If it's a good quality investment portfolio,
- 17:01Suze: you are in it for the long term.
- 17:04Suze: So let the ups and downs happen, whether it's with
- 17:09Suze: your money, in your relationship, no matter what, but if
- 17:14Suze: you understand everything and the long-term goals that you have,
- 17:20Suze: Then in the long run, you too will be happy
- 17:24Suze: to watch KT celebrate your anniversary. What do you want
- 17:29Suze: to say, my love?
- 17:30KT: I love you.
- 17:32Suze: Do you love me more than I love you?
- 17:35KT: We love each other the same.
- 17:36Suze: There you go. So there's only one thing that we
- 17:39Suze: want you to remember, people first...
- 17:42KT: Then money.
- 17:43Suze: Then things, and respect each other, honor each other, love
- 17:48Suze: each other, and remember you're in it for the long term.
- 17:53Suze: Stay healthy, stay safe, and stay unstoppable.