Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / A Late Bloomer with Kaitlin Olson
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the
- 0:02Speaker 1: Height and Mighty Tour. I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
- 0:12Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,
- 0:19Speaker 1: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
- 0:27Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
- 0:34Speaker 1: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modeesto, California, and
- 0:40Speaker 1: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
- 0:48Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June, So go
- 0:52Speaker 1: get your tickets now. If you want to come see
- 0:54Speaker 1: me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour. Hi, Catherine,
- 1:00Speaker 1: do you hear my voice?
- 1:01Speaker 2: I can hear your voice, Miss Critics Choice Award host.
- 1:05Speaker 2: You absolutely crushed it.
- 1:07Speaker 3: Oh, thank you. I had such a good time at
- 1:09Speaker 3: the Critics Choice Awards.
- 1:10Speaker 1: I can't believe how I can't believe my dresses and
- 1:13Speaker 1: my tucks and the way I looked. I was like,
- 1:15Speaker 1: what I saw pictures of myself. I'm like, oh my god,
- 1:18Speaker 1: I can't believe that I'm fifty years.
- 1:20Speaker 3: Old and I look better than I did when I
- 1:22Speaker 3: was thirty five.
- 1:23Speaker 1: Every woman that is listening to this, you need to
- 1:26Speaker 1: know how much better everything keeps getting like, oh my god,
- 1:32Speaker 1: my body, my face, everything looks better.
- 1:35Speaker 3: I'm so pleased.
- 1:36Speaker 2: And I have to tell you, I love the way
- 1:37Speaker 2: you look at a tuxs. You know this already, but like,
- 1:41Speaker 2: I love it.
- 1:42Speaker 3: That was my not to Diane Keaton, but I loved
- 1:44Speaker 3: it too.
- 1:45Speaker 1: I felt like I felt like a real fucking bitch
- 1:48Speaker 1: in that tux.
- 1:50Speaker 3: That's the best way.
- 1:51Speaker 1: Yeah, it was super fun. I'm here in New York
- 1:54Speaker 1: City getting ready to do some press. I'm doing Kelly
- 1:56Speaker 1: Clarkson and I'm doing Jimmy fallon tomorrow night to promote
- 2:00Speaker 1: my High and Mighty tour.
- 2:01Speaker 3: Tickets are on sale, people, get your tickets.
- 2:04Speaker 1: The tour jumps off in DC in February, so get
- 2:08Speaker 1: your tickets.
- 2:09Speaker 3: And we have a fun guest today.
- 2:11Speaker 1: You know her from It's always sunny in Philadelphia Hacks
- 2:14Speaker 1: and her new show High Potential.
- 2:16Speaker 3: So please welcome Caitlin Olsin.
- 2:19Speaker 4: Hi.
- 2:20Speaker 3: Oh look it's here. Hi, Kaitlin Olsin.
- 2:26Speaker 5: Oh my god. I can't believe I've never met you before.
- 2:29Speaker 5: This is crazy.
- 2:30Speaker 6: I know.
- 2:30Speaker 1: I was watching you in High Potential the other night
- 2:33Speaker 1: doing your detective work.
- 2:34Speaker 3: I'm like, have I met her or not remembered? And
- 2:36Speaker 3: I'm like, no, I would remember your energy because I
- 2:38Speaker 3: love your energy.
- 2:39Speaker 1: Every time you're in a scene, in any of the
- 2:42Speaker 1: things that you do, you light up the room and
- 2:44Speaker 1: that is just like, no, I mean it, I mean it.
- 2:47Speaker 1: You're just so light filled and I just love that
- 2:51Speaker 1: about you. So congrats on being light.
- 2:53Speaker 5: Oh my, thank you very much. I've never been congratulated
- 2:56Speaker 5: on that before and I really appreciate it.
- 2:58Speaker 1: Well, there's a lot of things that are going to
- 2:59Speaker 1: happen today that have never happened to you before.
- 3:02Speaker 5: I can't wait.
- 3:03Speaker 1: First of all, I can't believe It's Always Sunny has
- 3:05Speaker 1: been on for twenty fucking years or twenty seasons?
- 3:08Speaker 3: Is it twenty years?
- 3:10Speaker 5: It's twenty years.
- 3:11Speaker 1: Yeah, So that's crazy. That's like two lifetimes of television.
- 3:17Speaker 5: It's getting weird, Like for a few years ago, it
- 3:20Speaker 5: was exciting. We're like, oh, we're breaking records, and now
- 3:22Speaker 5: it's like, well, now we're just old and weird.
- 3:24Speaker 3: Yeah, it's probably.
- 3:26Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not saying it is getting weird, but
- 3:28Speaker 1: I can understand what you're saying about it getting weird.
- 3:30Speaker 1: I mean, I think the main reason you have to
- 3:34Speaker 1: be always grateful to that show is because you met
- 3:36Speaker 1: your husband.
- 3:37Speaker 3: So like, if it weren't for that.
- 3:40Speaker 1: Then you can't have any mixed feelings about that.
- 3:43Speaker 5: I have zero mixed feelings about it. I met my husband,
- 3:45Speaker 5: I've got two kids. It's the best thing that ever
- 3:47Speaker 5: happened to me. But also, you don't want to overstay.
- 3:49Speaker 5: You're welcome, you know what I mean. So at what
- 3:51Speaker 5: point am I like, I should probably irish exit. Should
- 3:53Speaker 5: I just leave the show and not tell anyone.
- 3:55Speaker 1: I don't know if you're talking about your marriage or
- 3:56Speaker 1: the show, but copy that either way, either.
- 3:59Speaker 5: Way would be very exciting in a fresh start.
- 4:01Speaker 1: You guys met the first year and you obviously hooked
- 4:04Speaker 1: up right away, Is that right?
- 4:05Speaker 3: Or you tell us what happened.
- 4:07Speaker 5: I mean, in the scheme of things, it was right away,
- 4:09Speaker 5: but it felt like a lifetime I. He loves the
- 4:11Speaker 5: story that I definitely was interested in him and took
- 4:15Speaker 5: every opportunity to be at a party where there was
- 4:16Speaker 5: alcohol to find myself like touching him with some part
- 4:20Speaker 5: of my body, just getting really in his space. And
- 4:23Speaker 5: he was like, okay, this is this is unprofessional. And
- 4:26Speaker 5: I was like, excuse me, I'm flirting with you and
- 4:29Speaker 5: I didn't understand it. And then I just hammered him
- 4:31Speaker 5: with it, you know, I.
- 4:32Speaker 3: Just and then you hammered me alcohol, right.
- 4:34Speaker 5: And then I hammered him. Well, in the end, he
- 4:37Speaker 5: hammered me. Let's just be very clear. There was a
- 4:39Speaker 5: flip that switched.
- 4:40Speaker 1: My friend said that to me the other day and
- 4:42Speaker 1: I was staying with my friend Kat, and she's like,
- 4:43Speaker 1: did you ever bang that guy?
- 4:45Speaker 3: I go, what?
- 4:45Speaker 1: Who talks like that? I go, first of all, I
- 4:47Speaker 1: go bang him? And she goes, yeah, you never say bang.
- 4:50Speaker 3: I go no, I don't. I don't ever say that.
- 4:52Speaker 7: Bank.
- 4:52Speaker 1: By the way, you're the one getting banged. I'm not
- 4:55Speaker 1: ben She goes, that.
- 4:56Speaker 3: Depends how you look at it. I'm like, well, I'm
- 4:58Speaker 3: definitely not banging men. When I have sex with them,
- 5:00Speaker 3: they're banging me.
- 5:01Speaker 5: Thank you very much.
- 5:02Speaker 1: So your husband's Rob McElhenny, right, but he goes by
- 5:05Speaker 1: Rob Mac.
- 5:06Speaker 3: Now did he change his name?
- 5:08Speaker 5: He's yeah, he's made. He made a big thing about it.
- 5:10Speaker 5: He changed his name and now he's Rob Mac. And
- 5:11Speaker 5: I have two kids who are stuck with macilhenny.
- 5:13Speaker 1: So well, he was actually originally Rob McElhenny the third.
- 5:19Speaker 1: So your kids, right, isn't that his real real name?
- 5:22Speaker 5: There's a whole there's a whole thing. His name has
- 5:25Speaker 5: been a subject of great grief for him the entire our,
- 5:31Speaker 5: entire marriage, and I think his entire life. There's a
- 5:34Speaker 5: lot of misunderstanding. I think on his birth certificate it's
- 5:37Speaker 5: just Robert McElhenny, but they put a space between the
- 5:41Speaker 5: mac and the el henny, I think accidentally. And so
- 5:45Speaker 5: that's been really fun for me trying to figure out
- 5:47Speaker 5: what because I have that technically as my last name,
- 5:50Speaker 5: I don't use it, but it's like on my you know,
- 5:52Speaker 5: passport and stuff. But then his dad and his grandpa
- 5:57Speaker 5: were Robert, but they have middle names and he does,
- 6:00Speaker 5: so he's not technically a third But I don't care anymore.
- 6:03Speaker 5: I just bored myself for the last thirty seconds. China
- 6:07Speaker 5: I don't care. Rob Mack, that's his name. It's easy,
- 6:10Speaker 5: it's it's he's great again. We're stuck with mackelhoney. But
- 6:14Speaker 5: that's a subject for another time.
- 6:15Speaker 1: So how did you keep it a secret from the
- 6:17Speaker 1: other cast members until you decided to go public with
- 6:20Speaker 1: your relationship.
- 6:21Speaker 5: Well, we were just in our trailers a lot, and
- 6:25Speaker 5: we just don't I don't know. We thought for sure
- 6:28Speaker 5: that they were going to find out because we thought
- 6:30Speaker 5: it was really obvious because we were being very flirty
- 6:33Speaker 5: and we would travel for work back then, this is
- 6:35Speaker 5: before we had kids, so we would be staying in
- 6:37Speaker 5: hotels in Philadelphia and New York, and we'd always end
- 6:39Speaker 5: up in each other's hotel rooms and like getting off
- 6:41Speaker 5: on the wrong floor with two cups of coffee and
- 6:43Speaker 5: be seen by them and be like, I don't know,
- 6:46Speaker 5: I'm not great with floors. I don't know. They had
- 6:50Speaker 5: no idea though we kept it secret for a whole season.
- 6:53Speaker 1: Wow, Well that's impressible, especially in Hollywood terms, you know
- 6:57Speaker 1: what I mean.
- 6:57Speaker 3: I mean, those things are pretty obvious.
- 6:59Speaker 5: Stay together for a whole season is impressive.
- 7:01Speaker 1: Well, staying together for twenty seasons it is even more impressive.
- 7:05Speaker 6: I know.
- 7:05Speaker 1: I read that you went to a baseball game while
- 7:08Speaker 1: you were in labor.
- 7:09Speaker 5: Well, I was planning a home birth. That's listen, I
- 7:12Speaker 5: apologize already, and this is going to be irritating. I
- 7:15Speaker 5: was planning a home birth. So my midwife was like,
- 7:17Speaker 5: you're going to go into labor. You're going to go
- 7:20Speaker 5: for a walk, You're gonna go grocery shop, but you
- 7:21Speaker 5: gotta be in public so that you can't have a meltdown.
- 7:23Speaker 5: You're to pull your shit together and you're just going
- 7:26Speaker 5: to walk around. We're not going to lay down on
- 7:27Speaker 5: a bed. And so I started feeling like I was
- 7:30Speaker 5: having contractions and we were supposed to go this game,
- 7:33Speaker 5: and I was like, you know what, I'm supposed to
- 7:35Speaker 5: go on with my life. Let's go to the game.
- 7:37Speaker 5: So we climbed and I folded myself into his. He
- 7:40Speaker 5: had that original tesla that looked like a little toy
- 7:43Speaker 5: car that was like six inches above the ground. I
- 7:46Speaker 5: folded my body into that and we went to the game,
- 7:49Speaker 5: and I think I made it seven inning something like
- 7:53Speaker 5: I don't even remember. But at a certain point I
- 7:55Speaker 5: was like throwing up and having diary in the bathroom,
- 7:58Speaker 5: and I was like, probably time to.
- 7:59Speaker 3: Go, and then what did you have the home birth?
- 8:01Speaker 3: I did?
- 8:02Speaker 5: Eventually, Yeah, at some point the next morning.
- 8:04Speaker 3: Did you have two? Do both of your kids are
- 8:06Speaker 3: home births?
- 8:07Speaker 5: So I got pregnant the second time, and I was like, oh, no,
- 8:10Speaker 5: I should I probably have to do that again so
- 8:14Speaker 5: that they don't like find out and that turns into
- 8:17Speaker 5: a therapy thing, like well why do you have me
- 8:18Speaker 5: at home and then go straight to So I decided
- 8:20Speaker 5: to do it again, not because I wanted to. And
- 8:23Speaker 5: three days into that when I was like, I fucking
- 8:25Speaker 5: hate myself, I hate midwives, I hate babies, I hate everyone.
- 8:29Speaker 5: And I did. I had him at home.
- 8:31Speaker 1: But three days into what what do you mean? Three
- 8:33Speaker 1: days into it.
- 8:35Speaker 5: I was like, two and a half days of labor.
- 8:37Speaker 5: It was a lot. It was a long time. My
- 8:39Speaker 5: second one I thought was gonna slide right out.
- 8:41Speaker 1: Oh my god. But what a nightmare two and a
- 8:44Speaker 1: half days of labor. You were laboring at home for
- 8:46Speaker 1: two and a half days before you had the baby.
- 8:48Speaker 5: Yeah. At one point we drove over the canyon behind
- 8:52Speaker 5: garbage trucks because it was garbage day in the backseat
- 8:54Speaker 5: of my midwife's prius to go to the gynecologist to
- 8:57Speaker 5: check something out, just to make sure, and everything was fine.
- 9:00Speaker 5: So then we drove back over the camp. It was
- 9:02Speaker 5: a lot happened in those two and a half days.
- 9:05Speaker 5: Not a baby coming out.
- 9:06Speaker 3: Wow wow Wow.
- 9:08Speaker 1: Tell me what playing the character you play on Hacks
- 9:11Speaker 1: has taught you about being a parent or or what
- 9:15Speaker 1: has it taught you not to do about being a parent?
- 9:19Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 9:19Speaker 5: I don't, I don't. I don't know that i'd take
- 9:20Speaker 5: any advice from from DJ. I love her, but listen, DJ,
- 9:25Speaker 5: I think is going to end up being a real
- 9:26Speaker 5: good mom because she's just gonna look at whatever Debrah
- 9:28Speaker 5: did and do the opposite.
- 9:30Speaker 3: Which is always a good pointer.
- 9:32Speaker 1: When you have great parents, it's impossible to replicate that exactly,
- 9:36Speaker 1: but when you have bad parents, it's almost a natural
- 9:40Speaker 1: instinct to do the opposite of what they've done.
- 9:43Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 9:43Speaker 5: What a blessing to have a horrific childhood, you know,
- 9:47Speaker 5: because then you know exactly what not to do.
- 9:49Speaker 3: That's a great that's a great way to look at it.
- 9:51Speaker 1: I want to know how you managed to be on
- 9:53Speaker 1: starring in two shows also on Hacks.
- 9:56Speaker 3: How do you what? Who's your agent?
- 9:59Speaker 1: How did you how are you able to negotiate these
- 10:02Speaker 1: kinds of deals.
- 10:03Speaker 5: The good thing about Sunny is that we don't have
- 10:05Speaker 5: a set time of year that we shoot it. We
- 10:07Speaker 5: kind of shoot it whenever everyone's available, so I can
- 10:10Speaker 5: we can move that around and sort of make it work.
- 10:12Speaker 5: It's only been this is my second year of kind
- 10:14Speaker 5: of working literally every day NonStop. It's starting to get
- 10:19Speaker 5: to me. I'll be honest, it's a lot of what
- 10:21Speaker 5: it is is it's a lot of work, and it's
- 10:23Speaker 5: working through now a second spring break and a second
- 10:27Speaker 5: summer break for my kids. So I kind of feel
- 10:30Speaker 5: like I should probably be going on vacation with you
- 10:33Speaker 5: guys at some point in the next couple of years.
- 10:35Speaker 1: Right, Absolutely, absolutely, especially because high Potential is essentially a procedural.
- 10:39Speaker 3: So that's a lot of hours.
- 10:41Speaker 5: It's a lot of hours.
- 10:42Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to know about, like the most fun
- 10:45Speaker 1: memory or the most fun day of shooting that you
- 10:48Speaker 1: ever had on It's always Sunny.
- 10:49Speaker 5: People ask this, and first of all, I can't even
- 10:51Speaker 5: remember all the episodes. But anytime I'm like lit on fire,
- 10:55Speaker 5: or I'm addicted to drugs, or I've been thrown off
- 10:58Speaker 5: a building, those are always the really fun ones you
- 11:00Speaker 5: read it. I love when people are like do you
- 11:02Speaker 5: ever read anything and be like absolutely not, I'll never
- 11:04Speaker 5: do this. I was like, No, who's that asshole? If
- 11:06Speaker 5: they write me like big funny stuff, I'm so excited.
- 11:09Speaker 5: There's a lot of fun like stunt stuff that i'd
- 11:11Speaker 5: get to do on Sunny that. Oh you know there
- 11:13Speaker 5: was the one where we did drowns in a bog
- 11:15Speaker 5: that was horrible. That was at like two o'clock in
- 11:18Speaker 5: the morning. Yeah, anything like that, that's insane.
- 11:22Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 11:22Speaker 1: Well, I think that's what comes true and your when
- 11:25Speaker 1: I'm talking about your abulience, I'll use that word, my
- 11:27Speaker 1: favorite word.
- 11:28Speaker 6: Ooh.
- 11:29Speaker 5: I don't know what it means, but I just inferred
- 11:31Speaker 5: and I think.
- 11:31Speaker 1: I get Yes, that comes through and your willingness to
- 11:34Speaker 1: just kind of be silly and outrageous, you know, like
- 11:37Speaker 1: it's when people take themselves too seriously. You don't see
- 11:40Speaker 1: that kind of kind of shine, yes and effervescence.
- 11:44Speaker 3: Thank you, who You're so welcome. Who's more vain? You
- 11:48Speaker 3: or Rob me?
- 11:49Speaker 5: He's not that vain? No, there are other men on
- 11:53Speaker 5: my television show that are a little bit more vain.
- 11:55Speaker 3: Do you want to name names? Glenn what about your kids?
- 12:01Speaker 1: Do you let your kids watch any of your shows?
- 12:03Speaker 1: Are they too little?
- 12:04Speaker 7: No?
- 12:05Speaker 6: No, they're not.
- 12:05Speaker 5: They're thirty. My older one just turned fifteen, and he
- 12:09Speaker 5: has been sneaking sunny scripts since he was about seven
- 12:12Speaker 5: or eight. We'd find him in bed reading sunny scripts
- 12:14Speaker 5: and we were like, well, this is bad. And then
- 12:17Speaker 5: a few years ago he started like we would start,
- 12:19Speaker 5: we would show them different chunks of episodes and he's
- 12:23Speaker 5: just obsessed with it. And now it's off the rails.
- 12:25Speaker 5: He's like, he's seen every episode. He thinks it's amazing.
- 12:28Speaker 5: And I love that because it is a really funny show.
- 12:31Speaker 5: But when you're fifteen, you got to kind of fine
- 12:34Speaker 5: tune that. I mean, I'll pause things all the time.
- 12:37Speaker 5: He'll say stuff all the time where I'm like, whoa,
- 12:39Speaker 5: that's not funny, and then we have to have those
- 12:41Speaker 5: conversations in time. He's going to be a very very
- 12:44Speaker 5: funny young man.
- 12:46Speaker 1: Yeah, who's funnier? You were Rob in the family dynamic.
- 12:50Speaker 5: I'm funnier, you're fun And he'll tell you that. Yeah. Yeah,
- 12:53Speaker 5: he's smarter. He identifies himself as more of a writer producer.
- 12:57Speaker 5: He loves acting, but he would say that I'm fune.
- 13:00Speaker 1: Okay, well that's good, that's smart. And which one of
- 13:02Speaker 1: your children is more like you? Is there one that's
- 13:04Speaker 1: more like you and one that's more like him?
- 13:06Speaker 5: Yes, the older one who's sneaking sunny episodes is more
- 13:10Speaker 5: like him, and the younger one is more like me,
- 13:12Speaker 5: and he legitimately cracks me up.
- 13:14Speaker 1: I think Rob talked about being finding out he was
- 13:16Speaker 1: neuro divergent, Like when you found that out? I always
- 13:19Speaker 1: find this to be fascinating. Did any of the aspects
- 13:24Speaker 1: of his relationship or or I mean aspects of his
- 13:26Speaker 1: personality within your relationship?
- 13:29Speaker 3: Click? Yes, like what kind of stuff?
- 13:33Speaker 5: I remember going, Oh, that's why. We would be in
- 13:36Speaker 5: the car, just the two of us, like talking about something,
- 13:40Speaker 5: and then he would just go silent, like even while
- 13:43Speaker 5: we were dating, And I was like, does he no,
- 13:46Speaker 5: I'm still in the car with him, Like he could
- 13:47Speaker 5: just be completely in his own world. And I'm like,
- 13:50Speaker 5: I'm not good with silence. I'm a person who has
- 13:53Speaker 5: to like fill it or let's have a car or
- 13:54Speaker 5: turn the music on or something. But what are we
- 13:56Speaker 5: doing sitting here, like not talking? And I was like, Oh,
- 13:58Speaker 5: there's so much going on in his brain at all
- 14:01Speaker 5: at all times. Like he can easily be in a
- 14:03Speaker 5: conversation with me and then just absolutely shut me out.
- 14:06Speaker 5: And I'm like trying to pick up the pieces of
- 14:08Speaker 5: what just happened. That was one thing, but there's a
- 14:11Speaker 5: million of them though. But he's also like very prolific.
- 14:14Speaker 5: He's super super smart, and he's constantly coming up with
- 14:16Speaker 5: ideas or business ideas or show ideas or doing things
- 14:21Speaker 5: a way they've never been done before. It's pretty fascinating.
- 14:24Speaker 5: It's very impressive.
- 14:25Speaker 1: Yeah, he probably misses you, doesn't he want more time
- 14:27Speaker 1: with you with all of your responsibilities.
- 14:30Speaker 3: He does.
- 14:30Speaker 5: They all miss me. It's very sweet. But it's one
- 14:33Speaker 5: of those things too where it's like he loves me
- 14:35Speaker 5: a lot these days because I'm not around. I'm like,
- 14:37Speaker 5: this totally works. I'm off doing my thing. A relationship
- 14:40Speaker 5: is great. You're missing me, yeah, but yeah, it's exciting
- 14:43Speaker 5: when we get to see each other. But I'm home
- 14:45Speaker 5: to be fair, like I only work. They have me
- 14:47Speaker 5: for eleven hours here, so plus drive time, Like I'm
- 14:50Speaker 5: home for evenings, so we spend time together at night.
- 14:52Speaker 3: Well then maybe it is the perfect schedule.
- 14:54Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, Yeah, it's great. I just need a
- 14:57Speaker 5: vacation every once in a while and we're fine.
- 14:58Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you get to get all you your
- 15:00Speaker 1: kings out on set, like get all of your energy out,
- 15:03Speaker 1: and that way you can be like, you know, a
- 15:05Speaker 1: full complete mother. When you get home, you're not there
- 15:08Speaker 1: all day dealing with them.
- 15:09Speaker 3: I like that schedule.
- 15:11Speaker 5: I love it. Yeah, anybody can be a really excellent
- 15:14Speaker 5: parent for three hours at a time. Rob's really doing
- 15:16Speaker 5: the heavy lifting right now. I come home and I'm
- 15:18Speaker 5: just a dream. I'm like the best mom ever.
- 15:21Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the spirit.
- 15:24Speaker 1: I always think about, like mothers and how people handle stuff,
- 15:27Speaker 1: especially in this business, because there's so much to deal with,
- 15:30Speaker 1: you know, and I could barely take care of my dog.
- 15:32Speaker 1: I don't even really take care of my dog, to
- 15:34Speaker 1: be honest. Today he had a limp and I just
- 15:36Speaker 1: was like, who do I text about this?
- 15:38Speaker 7: You know?
- 15:38Speaker 1: I'm like and then they're like, did he did anything
- 15:41Speaker 1: happen yesterday? I was like, well, I was wrestling with him,
- 15:43Speaker 1: so I'm probably the culprit. But I'm always just I
- 15:46Speaker 1: love your dog, by the way, Oh thank you, Doug.
- 15:48Speaker 1: He's so beautiful. He's so beautiful, and he's got these big,
- 15:51Speaker 1: beautiful brown eyes. It really makes me appreciate brown eyes
- 15:54Speaker 1: because as a blue eyed person, everyone in my family
- 15:57Speaker 1: has blue eyes, so I always think of it's this
- 15:59Speaker 1: weird child thing where I always look at blue My
- 16:01Speaker 1: parents both had blue eyes, and all my siblings have
- 16:03Speaker 1: blue eyes, and so I always looked at everyone with
- 16:05Speaker 1: blue eyes like that's home. And now that I have
- 16:08Speaker 1: a dog that has these beautiful brown eyes, I'm like,
- 16:10Speaker 1: that's home.
- 16:11Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 16:12Speaker 5: You're like, there's some soul there, what's that?
- 16:14Speaker 3: Yeah, he's definitely soulful. I feel like his voice, if
- 16:16Speaker 3: he could talk, would be like Luther.
- 16:18Speaker 5: Vandros absolutely absolutely. And that big thick tongue.
- 16:22Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah. Then they have purple tongues. Chow chow's
- 16:25Speaker 1: Yeah that they have those purple tongues. So everyone always
- 16:27Speaker 1: wants to see that. And you know what's so sweet
- 16:28Speaker 1: about dog? Actually, he's so sweet with children, which is
- 16:32Speaker 1: something that like, you know, it's such a nice.
- 16:34Speaker 3: Feature for a dog.
- 16:35Speaker 1: He knows when to be gentle with small children, not
- 16:38Speaker 1: with small animals.
- 16:39Speaker 3: Unfortunately.
- 16:40Speaker 5: That's okay.
- 16:40Speaker 3: Do you guys have pets.
- 16:42Speaker 5: Yeah, we have two dogs and a cat and they're
- 16:44Speaker 5: all really good friends. Obsessed with animals.
- 16:47Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 16:48Speaker 1: I always wonder how cats get along with dogs, But
- 16:50Speaker 1: I guess it's happened. I guess I grew up and
- 16:52Speaker 1: they we always had our cats and dogs completely separate.
- 16:55Speaker 3: Other people seem to be able to integrate.
- 16:57Speaker 5: But well, I think it depends on the cat. Rob
- 16:59Speaker 5: didn't think he was a cat person for this reason.
- 17:01Speaker 5: He's like cats are all like finicky. This cat. I
- 17:04Speaker 5: rescued him and brought him home, got him neutered and
- 17:07Speaker 5: deflet and all that, and he we had like him
- 17:10Speaker 5: in a room and he came out of the room
- 17:12Speaker 5: and saw the dogs came running towards him, and he
- 17:14Speaker 5: was like hey and flopped on his back. It was like,
- 17:16Speaker 5: smell me. So I don't know. He just decided he
- 17:18Speaker 5: was fine with it. And now they all play together.
- 17:20Speaker 5: It's the best.
- 17:20Speaker 3: And is it a fluffy cat or is it a
- 17:22Speaker 3: skinny cat?
- 17:23Speaker 5: He's a white fluffy cat with a big, fat fluffy tail.
- 17:26Speaker 3: Oh yeah, the hole on it? Does he likes it?
- 17:28Speaker 3: A fat face, a fat fluffy face.
- 17:31Speaker 5: Yeah, he's like he's all fluffed. He's like a big
- 17:33Speaker 5: giant and if you hold him like this, he just
- 17:35Speaker 5: like flops on either side. He's fine with whatever, which
- 17:38Speaker 5: I like. I need that. I need you to be
- 17:39Speaker 5: fine with me.
- 17:40Speaker 3: Nay, yeah, yeah.
- 17:41Speaker 1: I like to put animals on their back and then
- 17:43Speaker 1: just kind of molest them, you know. Yeah, want their bodies.
- 17:46Speaker 1: I like the fur, and I like the meat. The bigger,
- 17:48Speaker 1: the better, the puffier.
- 17:49Speaker 3: Yeah, all of it.
- 17:50Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, don't give me a skinny. I don't want
- 17:53Speaker 5: to have to be fragile. I got to throw you
- 17:55Speaker 5: over my shoulder and you're coming with me.
- 17:56Speaker 3: That's how I feel about babies too.
- 17:58Speaker 1: I prefer them to be oversized, you know, like I
- 18:01Speaker 1: want a big nugget if you want if you have
- 18:03Speaker 1: a baby on a plane or like, you know, then
- 18:06Speaker 1: like the chunkier the better.
- 18:07Speaker 3: If you see a skinny baby, it's like, I'm not
- 18:09Speaker 3: drawn to that.
- 18:10Speaker 1: And I mean we already know how I feel about children,
- 18:12Speaker 1: but babies obviously get a pass because they can be
- 18:16Speaker 1: so luscious and just scrumptious, you know. But when they're thin,
- 18:20Speaker 1: I don't like that.
- 18:21Speaker 5: It's like a twig, like it's it's too fragile. I
- 18:24Speaker 5: don't want to be responsible for it.
- 18:25Speaker 3: Did you have big babies?
- 18:27Speaker 5: Yeah, big fat babies.
- 18:28Speaker 1: I feel like thin people. I know you're very thin,
- 18:30Speaker 1: because even on camera you look thin. I feel like
- 18:32Speaker 1: thin people have the fattest babies. It doesn't make any sense.
- 18:36Speaker 5: I don't know how it happened, but yeah, they were
- 18:37Speaker 5: both almost nine pounds.
- 18:39Speaker 3: Oh wow, a big baby.
- 18:41Speaker 1: Yeah that is a big baby with your homebirth and
- 18:43Speaker 1: you're two and a half day home delivery system. Yeah.
- 18:46Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 18:46Speaker 5: Let me be very clear, it was terrible, bad idea.
- 18:49Speaker 1: We're going to take a break and we're going to
- 18:50Speaker 1: be right back with Caitlyn Olsin to get some take
- 18:53Speaker 1: some callers, and we're back with Caitlyn all sid who
- 19:00Speaker 1: is She's on hacks, She's the star of High Potential
- 19:04Speaker 1: and she's on It's Always Study in Philadelphia, so you
- 19:07Speaker 1: really can't miss her. Caitlin, what was the best before
- 19:09Speaker 1: we take a caller, can you think of the best
- 19:12Speaker 1: career advice that you've ever been given?
- 19:14Speaker 5: You know what, the best audition advice, which is basically
- 19:18Speaker 5: career advice for me, was to make it your own
- 19:21Speaker 5: and stop reading all of the character descriptions so perfectly
- 19:24Speaker 5: and trying to be exactly what you think they want,
- 19:26Speaker 5: because they don't even know what they want. Just read
- 19:29Speaker 5: the material. Make the material as good as you can
- 19:33Speaker 5: in your own voice and switch it up. Just make
- 19:36Speaker 5: it your own and then go in and have fun.
- 19:37Speaker 5: And that was, honestly, that was very freeing once you
- 19:40Speaker 5: stop caring about like, oh, I wonder if they're gonna
- 19:42Speaker 5: want this. They don't know what they want. They just
- 19:45Speaker 5: want you to come in and be good. That was
- 19:46Speaker 5: the best audition advice I got, and I still do it.
- 19:50Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 19:50Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to own what you're doing, right, You
- 19:52Speaker 1: have to make it your own and you have to
- 19:53Speaker 1: make it personal to you. And that's kind of the
- 19:56Speaker 1: only way to set yourself apart in any sort of
- 19:58Speaker 1: creative I feel like any sort of creative medium.
- 20:02Speaker 5: I think it absolutely it. You can use that across
- 20:05Speaker 5: the board. Just just do what you want to do,
- 20:08Speaker 5: be the best version. If people like it, great, If
- 20:11Speaker 5: they don't, great, it wasn't for you anyway. You can't
- 20:13Speaker 5: cram yourself into a box.
- 20:14Speaker 3: Okay, great, all.
- 20:16Speaker 2: Right, Well are you ready to give some advice?
- 20:19Speaker 4: Yes?
- 20:20Speaker 1: Excellent, excellent, always always me too, Me too, sister.
- 20:25Speaker 2: So our first question, this one's just an email, but
- 20:28Speaker 2: this comes from Nicole. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm writing
- 20:31Speaker 2: in with a bit of a unique circumstance and would
- 20:33Speaker 2: love some guidance on this. I'm recently divorced and it's
- 20:36Speaker 2: as amicable as it could have been. We share tween
- 20:39Speaker 2: twins and co parent great I kept my married last
- 20:42Speaker 2: name because I hated my maiden name. I'm a veterinarian
- 20:46Speaker 2: and everyone in town knows me as doctor X husband's
- 20:48Speaker 2: last name. That name is my kid's last name too.
- 20:51Speaker 2: My ex was totally fine with me keeping the name
- 20:53Speaker 2: and using it how I wanted, even in our separation agreement.
- 20:56Speaker 2: Now comes the tricky part. My ex never wanted more kids,
- 21:00Speaker 2: but I do. I'm in the process of freezing eggs
- 21:02Speaker 2: and hope to use a sperm donor before I'm all
- 21:04Speaker 2: dried up.
- 21:04Speaker 3: And my clock is ticking. I just turned forty one.
- 21:07Speaker 2: My ex is supportive of this, but do I give
- 21:10Speaker 2: the potential new baby from donor sperm the last name
- 21:12Speaker 2: of me and my kids? I feel weird, not that
- 21:15Speaker 2: my ex will mind too much, but I'm also thinking
- 21:17Speaker 2: of his very traditional family, who may find it offensive
- 21:20Speaker 2: that I'm giving their name to a child that's not
- 21:22Speaker 2: biologically theirs. That said, I want this child to share
- 21:25Speaker 2: my current last name and the name my kids all
- 21:27Speaker 2: have any advice, Nicole.
- 21:29Speaker 1: I mean, that is your last name. When people divorce,
- 21:32Speaker 1: does the husband have to give it back? Permission to
- 21:35Speaker 1: give your name, to keep your name?
- 21:37Speaker 5: That's not an engagement ring. Ye, that's your last name.
- 21:40Speaker 5: And also who cares about the ex in laws?
- 21:42Speaker 3: Keep the name exactly?
- 21:43Speaker 1: Who cares about the ex in laws? I was going
- 21:45Speaker 1: to say you could ask them, but then I thought, no, wait,
- 21:47Speaker 1: why do you even bother asking them?
- 21:48Speaker 5: Who can We're never talking to them again.
- 21:50Speaker 3: Yeah, and you also want your kids to all have
- 21:53Speaker 3: the same last name.
- 21:53Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, they're siblings.
- 21:55Speaker 1: That's your argument for that. If anyone comes to you
- 21:58Speaker 1: or comes for.
- 21:59Speaker 3: You, say about passing that name along.
- 22:04Speaker 5: Yeah, especially if the ex husband is okay with it.
- 22:07Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 22:07Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, that's easy.
- 22:08Speaker 5: All good problem.
- 22:09Speaker 3: It's an easy one problem solve.
- 22:11Speaker 6: Guys.
- 22:11Speaker 5: That was You're welcome, all.
- 22:12Speaker 2: Right, Nicole, Good luck, baby Dust. Our next question comes
- 22:16Speaker 2: from Redneck Kitty. She says, Dear Chelsea, my name is Rachel,
- 22:20Speaker 2: but my DJ producer entertainer name is Redneck Kitty. I'm
- 22:24Speaker 2: thirty one and I started DJing when I was living
- 22:26Speaker 2: in Australia at the start of COVID.
- 22:28Speaker 3: I was a COVID DJ. It's a thing.
- 22:31Speaker 2: I'm single with no kids. Nine years ago I lost
- 22:33Speaker 2: my brother and partner and that cracked me open in
- 22:36Speaker 2: a very yolow way of living. I traveled the world
- 22:39Speaker 2: stripped to fund my dive trips and went on skiing
- 22:42Speaker 2: and climbing adventures, went from mansions to dumpster diving, and
- 22:45Speaker 2: had all sorts of wild adventures in between. Wow therapy
- 22:48Speaker 2: eventually reminded me that I might live longer than tomorrow,
- 22:51Speaker 2: so maybe I should plan a future. After being at
- 22:54Speaker 2: my soul's end with stripping last year, I was messaging
- 22:56Speaker 2: chat GPT about switching careers, but decided first to consul
- 23:00Speaker 2: mother Aya, and she was very clear music is my path.
- 23:04Speaker 2: So I gave up stripping after nine years to pursue music.
- 23:07Speaker 3: Luckily, I've saved.
- 23:08Speaker 2: Smartly, and along the way, I met a couple sugar
- 23:10Speaker 2: daddies who believed in me enough to give me some
- 23:12Speaker 2: cushion to focus on my art. Now I've moved across
- 23:15Speaker 2: the country to study under a legend in the electronic
- 23:17Speaker 2: music industry. I'm in school and I love what I'm learning.
- 23:20Speaker 2: But here's the problem. There's still this gremlin in my
- 23:23Speaker 2: head screaming, Who are you at thirty one to suddenly
- 23:26Speaker 2: decide you want to be a DJ? You're too old.
- 23:28Speaker 2: It's a stupid choice. You'll never make it. You'll be
- 23:30Speaker 2: a broke, struggling artist forever. I should have started ten
- 23:33Speaker 2: years ago. Pursuing art feels scarier than free climbing a
- 23:36Speaker 2: cliff without ropes, and I'm terrified. So here's my question.
- 23:40Speaker 2: How do you draw from that deep well of self
- 23:42Speaker 2: belief and confidence? How do you drown out the gremlins
- 23:45Speaker 2: when your heart knows what it wants but your head
- 23:47Speaker 2: just wants certainty? Is this a stupid idea? How do
- 23:50Speaker 2: you trust yourself when your path isn't normal? Any advice
- 23:53Speaker 2: on pushing past the fear and owning my space would
- 23:55Speaker 2: mean the world.
- 23:56Speaker 1: Redneck Kitty, Hi, red Neck Kitty, how are you Hi?
- 24:01Speaker 4: I'm good. I'm actually just like so excited right now.
- 24:05Speaker 3: This is our special guest today, Kate lin Olsen is here.
- 24:08Speaker 6: Hi, hiking Lyn.
- 24:09Speaker 5: Nice to you.
- 24:10Speaker 3: You too, Oh. I love your story.
- 24:13Speaker 1: What a nice, adventurous life you've lived and you're only thirty.
- 24:16Speaker 1: You have a whole You have two thirds of your
- 24:19Speaker 1: life left to go, and by the way, maybe more
- 24:22Speaker 1: than that, because they say, if we make it through
- 24:24Speaker 1: the next ten to fifteen years, you can extend your
- 24:26Speaker 1: life until you're one hundred and fifty.
- 24:28Speaker 3: I don't know who the fuck wants to do that.
- 24:29Speaker 5: But you don't hop out before then?
- 24:31Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I mean, who could afford to do that?
- 24:34Speaker 1: I think listen, we all have those voices in our head, right, Caitlyn.
- 24:37Speaker 1: I mean we all kind of yes, don't know what
- 24:40Speaker 1: we're doing or not certain of what we're doing. The
- 24:43Speaker 1: proof that you have is that you're here, and you've
- 24:45Speaker 1: got the choice to do what you wanted to do,
- 24:47Speaker 1: and you got yourself all this way so far. You're
- 24:50Speaker 1: thirty one years old. You're not too old for anything.
- 24:53Speaker 1: This is the beginning of a new adventure. You've got
- 24:56Speaker 1: yourself in a situation where you can actually choose what
- 24:59Speaker 1: you want to do.
- 25:00Speaker 3: That is so powerful.
- 25:02Speaker 4: I think it's just like I don't know, I kind
- 25:04Speaker 4: of get in like the comparison space, which I know
- 25:07Speaker 4: is like comparison is a thief of joy, But like
- 25:10Speaker 4: I compare myself to all these like musical prodigies who
- 25:13Speaker 4: like started when they're eighteen, and I'm or even you,
- 25:15Speaker 4: like you know, you kind of like knew since you
- 25:17Speaker 4: came out of the womb that you were like destined
- 25:19Speaker 4: for greatness. Like you were like, I'm above all of
- 25:21Speaker 4: you guys, you know, and I was like I kind
- 25:23Speaker 4: of like a late Blumer in this of like I
- 25:25Speaker 4: don't know, realizing my path, and so I kind of
- 25:29Speaker 4: like get in my head about it because I didn't
- 25:31Speaker 4: know sooner that it's not right, and I I don't know,
- 25:34Speaker 4: that's just kind of like what I get in my
- 25:36Speaker 4: head about. And like you talk a lot about wanting
- 25:39Speaker 4: women to know they have like this deep well of
- 25:41Speaker 4: resilience and strength and confidence that they can call on,
- 25:45Speaker 4: and I'm just like curious maybe like more practical tips
- 25:48Speaker 4: on how you actually do that.
- 25:50Speaker 5: But don't you when you look back on your life, go,
- 25:53Speaker 5: oh my god, look at everything that I have accomplished
- 25:56Speaker 5: and lived through and here I am, And everything took
- 25:59Speaker 5: you one step closer to where you are right now.
- 26:01Speaker 5: And I think that I get that feeling. Thirty one
- 26:04Speaker 5: felt really old to me too. I started doing Sonny
- 26:07Speaker 5: when I was twenty nine, and then I always say
- 26:10Speaker 5: my thirties were way better than my twenties, which I
- 26:13Speaker 5: thought was going to be impossible, and then my forties
- 26:15Speaker 5: were way better than my thirties. You're just getting started.
- 26:18Speaker 5: And I think practically, when you look back and you
- 26:21Speaker 5: go look at everything I've survived, I'm sure you've been
- 26:23Speaker 5: through a lot more than what you have written out
- 26:26Speaker 5: in your email. So you rely on that stuff and
- 26:28Speaker 5: you go look at me now, and you also, you're
- 26:30Speaker 5: so charismatic and beautiful, and what do you have to lose?
- 26:34Speaker 4: You know? Yeah, thank you, that's really nice.
- 26:38Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 26:38Speaker 1: And also, you know, off of what Caitlyn just said,
- 26:41Speaker 1: a great exercise, and this is in that book, David
- 26:44Speaker 1: Hawkins wrote that I always talk about letting go is
- 26:47Speaker 1: writing down all of the things that you have accomplished,
- 26:50Speaker 1: writing down where you came from.
- 26:52Speaker 3: What you went through.
- 26:54Speaker 1: How you know all of the things you listed in
- 26:56Speaker 1: that letter alone, I'm sure there's a zillion other things,
- 26:59Speaker 1: but down as a reminder, and every once in a while,
- 27:02Speaker 1: like when I read that book, I'm reminded to do that,
- 27:05Speaker 1: like all of the milestones I've reached, all of the accomplishments.
- 27:09Speaker 3: That I've had.
- 27:10Speaker 1: Even if you just go back a year and think
- 27:12Speaker 1: about the biggest moments that you've had in the last
- 27:14Speaker 1: year as a reminder of your tenacity and as a
- 27:19Speaker 1: reminder to yourself of how powerful you are. You're choosing
- 27:22Speaker 1: to make a decision. You're not letting life happen to you.
- 27:24Speaker 1: You're happening you know what I mean. You're making your
- 27:27Speaker 1: life happen for you. And there's a lot of power
- 27:30Speaker 1: in that. And there's so many people who call into
- 27:32Speaker 1: this podcast who don't have half of the confidence that
- 27:35Speaker 1: you have and who haven't made those choices or haven't
- 27:38Speaker 1: had the strength of mind to make determinations about where
- 27:40Speaker 1: they want to do in their future.
- 27:42Speaker 3: And you're already doing that.
- 27:43Speaker 1: So, like I would say, when you get off of
- 27:46Speaker 1: this call to literally just write down everything you've accomplished
- 27:49Speaker 1: in the past year, and then you're going to see
- 27:52Speaker 1: it in writing and you're going to understand how far
- 27:55Speaker 1: you've come. And if you do that every few months
- 27:59Speaker 1: and as a reminder and like set it in your
- 28:01Speaker 1: calendar and your phone as a reminder to really reflect,
- 28:04Speaker 1: because this is the problem that I find is that
- 28:07Speaker 1: we go so fast sometimes and Caitlin's life is just
- 28:10Speaker 1: as busy as anybody's. Like you forget, you know, you
- 28:15Speaker 1: forget to sit there and actually take a moment and
- 28:17Speaker 1: be like, Wow, you just got through all of this
- 28:19Speaker 1: stuff and you just did this, and you did this,
- 28:22Speaker 1: and you did you know, I made this decision, and
- 28:24Speaker 1: I made this decision.
- 28:25Speaker 3: I got out of that relationship.
- 28:26Speaker 1: I'm into this, Like all of the things that make
- 28:28Speaker 1: you a person are really important to constantly think about
- 28:32Speaker 1: instead of just zipping through life with no time to
- 28:36Speaker 1: enjoy the what you've done.
- 28:39Speaker 4: No, you're so right, Like even just hearing you talk
- 28:41Speaker 4: about it, Like when I moved to Australia, I had
- 28:43Speaker 4: like five hundred dollars in my pocket and now here
- 28:46Speaker 4: I am even just saying that, I'm like, yeah, damn, yeah,
- 28:49Speaker 4: I have done it.
- 28:51Speaker 5: Yeah that's cool.
- 28:52Speaker 3: So hang up from here and do that, will you?
- 28:54Speaker 4: I will.
- 28:54Speaker 5: I'm gonna make my lists.
- 28:56Speaker 1: Okay, great, great, and then put it on your refrigerator
- 28:59Speaker 1: and kiss it every morning.
- 29:00Speaker 5: Yes and color lipsicks, Yeah.
- 29:04Speaker 3: Exactly, that's that's the morning. That's the spirit.
- 29:07Speaker 2: And then also, if you have like a SoundCloud or something,
- 29:10Speaker 2: send me the link and we'll put it in the
- 29:11Speaker 2: description so people can check you out.
- 29:13Speaker 4: Oh nice, Yes, I have a new EP coming out,
- 29:15Speaker 4: Booty delicious bootlegs. It's basically a bunch of remixes to
- 29:19Speaker 4: like the crunk, dirty South hip hop. I was raised
- 29:22Speaker 4: on made into like tech house, so if you're into that.
- 29:24Speaker 3: Kind of stuff.
- 29:25Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm excited.
- 29:26Speaker 4: It's my first songs I've made.
- 29:28Speaker 5: I've made a song. I'm so excited.
- 29:30Speaker 3: There you go, you made a song. That's number song.
- 29:34Speaker 3: I can't believe it.
- 29:36Speaker 4: This podcast is amazing. I feel like I'm having a moment.
- 29:39Speaker 4: Like my best friend she saw you in Vegas and
- 29:42Speaker 4: she had like a moment where she like touched her
- 29:44Speaker 4: hand and had a full anxiety spiral for three days
- 29:47Speaker 4: that I had to talk her out of because she
- 29:49Speaker 4: was like.
- 29:49Speaker 5: I felt like I met God.
- 29:51Speaker 3: Oh my god, poor thing.
- 29:54Speaker 1: Let's tell her I said hello, and she has not
- 29:56Speaker 1: met God, and none of us ever will, as far
- 29:58Speaker 1: as I serve.
- 30:00Speaker 4: She's the one who put me on this podcast, and
- 30:02Speaker 4: I haven't even told her that I was going on,
- 30:04Speaker 4: Oh my God, and hear it and so shout out.
- 30:08Speaker 3: You know who you are.
- 30:08Speaker 5: I'm not gonna say your name.
- 30:09Speaker 3: She'll get pissed, but yeah, she loves.
- 30:12Speaker 6: You so much.
- 30:13Speaker 2: All right, thanks so much.
- 30:14Speaker 3: We'll talk to you soon. Okay, you guys have a
- 30:16Speaker 3: great day. Bye bye.
- 30:18Speaker 1: Look at how healing you are, Caitlin with this is two.
- 30:22Speaker 3: Home runs back to bad. I mean that's that good
- 30:24Speaker 3: light energy. That's right, Aulus, we're really doing it.
- 30:29Speaker 1: I love this way to hop on the train and
- 30:31Speaker 1: get the party started.
- 30:33Speaker 2: So our next question comes from Jen. She says, Dear Chelsea,
- 30:38Speaker 2: I have a seven year old daughter who's a spitfire.
- 30:40Speaker 2: She's wonderful and loving and kind, but also she's exhausting.
- 30:44Speaker 2: She challenges every single thing. When she doesn't get her
- 30:46Speaker 2: way with her negotiation skills, she'll be an amazing lawyer
- 30:50Speaker 2: or hostage negotiator someday. I don't spoil her, and she's
- 30:53Speaker 2: very upset about that. She feels that each day after school,
- 30:57Speaker 2: if it was a good day, we should go to
- 30:58Speaker 2: Starbucks or Target or somewhere and get a treat. I
- 31:02Speaker 2: tell her no, and that we're going home. She throws
- 31:04Speaker 2: a fit and wines and cries that she had a
- 31:06Speaker 2: good day and she just wants a treat. I get it, girl,
- 31:09Speaker 2: but we can't support a Starbucks habit for the both
- 31:11Speaker 2: of us. How do I help guide her to be
- 31:13Speaker 2: a respectful person who listens to me and trusts me,
- 31:16Speaker 2: especially as she gets into her teenage years, yet not
- 31:18Speaker 2: extinguish her fire that I know will someday change the world.
- 31:21Speaker 3: Jen Well, I read somebody said to me the other day.
- 31:25Speaker 1: I always love to ask people about their kids, like
- 31:27Speaker 1: if they have favorites. I love to ask this question
- 31:29Speaker 1: to men because men always have a favorite and it
- 31:32Speaker 1: changes and it moves around. But somebody said, you know,
- 31:36Speaker 1: the kid that gives you the most trouble is going
- 31:38Speaker 1: to be the most successful. So that's something to hang
- 31:42Speaker 1: on to. A way for your to teach your child
- 31:45Speaker 1: about responsibilities and money like is to actually break go
- 31:49Speaker 1: to Starbucks one day, go get those treats and then
- 31:52Speaker 1: break down the receipt with her when you get home
- 31:54Speaker 1: and show her exactly how much everything costs. I mean,
- 31:57Speaker 1: I got something at Starbucks the other day that was
- 31:59Speaker 1: seventeen It was one thing. I don't remember what it was,
- 32:02Speaker 1: but it's absolutely ridiculous. So I think just kind of
- 32:05Speaker 1: getting in there early and teaching them the value of money,
- 32:08Speaker 1: and maybe she can do little things around the house.
- 32:11Speaker 1: You have to kind of reprogram her. It sounds like
- 32:13Speaker 1: just because she had a good day, that's a reward
- 32:15Speaker 1: in it of itself.
- 32:17Speaker 3: You don't get a reward for a reward.
- 32:19Speaker 1: You know, her having a great day is great, but
- 32:22Speaker 1: that's not something to be But I also, I'm not
- 32:25Speaker 1: a parent, Caitlyn.
- 32:26Speaker 3: Do you want to chime in here with any parential
- 32:27Speaker 3: advice you might have?
- 32:29Speaker 5: Well you should be because that was perfect. And this
- 32:33Speaker 5: just happened the other day. Rob took one of our
- 32:35Speaker 5: kids to adoptor appointment, and so he was like, if
- 32:38Speaker 5: you get U early enough, we'll go to McDonald's. I'm like,
- 32:40Speaker 5: why why it's a doctor appointment? You're you're a teenager.
- 32:44Speaker 5: You go to a goddamn doctor and then you go
- 32:46Speaker 5: to the dentist sometimes and then you go to the
- 32:48Speaker 5: Like that's just that's part of life. You don't get
- 32:50Speaker 5: McDonald's every time you have to do something out of
- 32:52Speaker 5: the ordinary. But because I think it's like there's no
- 32:56Speaker 5: like reward for having to just deal with like life stuff.
- 32:59Speaker 5: But I love what you said about come up with
- 33:02Speaker 5: not basic cleanup after yourselves. I don't think you should
- 33:04Speaker 5: pay children for cleaning up after themselves. We all live here,
- 33:06Speaker 5: we're all cleaning up after ourselves. But come up with
- 33:08Speaker 5: little jobs for her where she can save money, and
- 33:10Speaker 5: then when she saves up enough money, she can go
- 33:12Speaker 5: to Starbucks and spend it on something. I think that's great.
- 33:16Speaker 5: But I totally agree with like it was a good day,
- 33:18Speaker 5: so everybody fun all over me for not your what
- 33:23Speaker 5: in second grade? Like it should be a good day.
- 33:26Speaker 1: Yeah, And also there's other ways to reward that, you know, like, oh,
- 33:29Speaker 1: like non monetary ways to go home and play. Okay, well,
- 33:32Speaker 1: you know, on special days, on special occasions, we'll go
- 33:35Speaker 1: home and we'll play a board game together for an hour.
- 33:37Speaker 1: I'm going to give you my sole attention and we'll
- 33:39Speaker 1: do something like that together. Or we'll plan something this
- 33:41Speaker 1: weekend just you and me and we'll do something like
- 33:44Speaker 1: there's other ways to make it special other than you know,
- 33:47Speaker 1: going to Starbucks or go to any of those places
- 33:50Speaker 1: after school. And also I just think, like I remember
- 33:54Speaker 1: my parents financially struggling growing up, and I understood about
- 33:59Speaker 1: money very early that if I wanted it, I was
- 34:01Speaker 1: going to have to go get it like I you know,
- 34:04Speaker 1: and I was resourceful enough. And this girl sounds like
- 34:07Speaker 1: she's going to get to that point. I know she's
- 34:09Speaker 1: only seven, right, is that what she said, she's seven,
- 34:12Speaker 1: but you really just want to impress upon her how
- 34:15Speaker 1: how much things cost to the world we live in
- 34:18Speaker 1: and the reality like that's something you do once a
- 34:20Speaker 1: week on a Friday, you know, to celebrate the weekend. Okay,
- 34:23Speaker 1: we'll go to Starbucks, you know, and there's no reason
- 34:26Speaker 1: to do that all the time. So that's my parenting
- 34:27Speaker 1: advice for today's episode.
- 34:30Speaker 2: All right, Our next question comes from Kristin. She says,
- 34:33Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea, my name is Kristin and I'm twenty three
- 34:35Speaker 2: years old. I'm currently a male carrier for USPS, and
- 34:38Speaker 2: I'm fully independent. I live by myself and fully support
- 34:42Speaker 2: myself and my animals. I'm finding it hard to relate
- 34:44Speaker 2: to people my age and connect with them. I live
- 34:47Speaker 2: in a college town at the moment, so most of
- 34:49Speaker 2: my friends are in college or fresh out, and I'm
- 34:51Speaker 2: having a hard time keeping friends. I feel like I
- 34:53Speaker 2: don't really relate to people my age, and they're all immature,
- 34:56Speaker 2: and I quite frankly can't stand them. They're very self centered.
- 34:59Speaker 6: And weirdly mean.
- 35:00Speaker 2: I'm not sure if it's me or why am struggling
- 35:02Speaker 2: to keep female friendships. Please help Kristen and she'll be
- 35:06Speaker 2: joining us here in a moment. How old is she
- 35:08Speaker 2: twenty three?
- 35:10Speaker 1: Twenty three hanging out with college kids that are what
- 35:13Speaker 1: eighteen to twenty one.
- 35:14Speaker 5: Or like, just out of college?
- 35:18Speaker 3: Did you go to college, Caitlin.
- 35:19Speaker 5: I went to the University of Oregon.
- 35:21Speaker 3: Oh, that's fun. I love Oregon so pretty.
- 35:24Speaker 5: D Yeah, I wanted to be I wanted to be
- 35:25Speaker 5: close to my parents. I really I didn't want to
- 35:28Speaker 5: leave them. I was a very late bloomer. I went
- 35:30Speaker 5: home on the weekends, Caitlyn.
- 35:32Speaker 3: Were you a late bloomer in other ways or in
- 35:34Speaker 3: every way?
- 35:35Speaker 5: In every I was a late bloomer in every way.
- 35:37Speaker 5: I never snuck out of my house. I was like,
- 35:39Speaker 5: why would you do that? My mom would be upset
- 35:41Speaker 5: if she, like if I was missing. All I wanted
- 35:44Speaker 5: was boobs. I still kind of do, but not as
- 35:46Speaker 5: much as before. Didn't have a boyfriend all through high school.
- 35:50Speaker 5: Very very late bloomer. I was like a little kid
- 35:52Speaker 5: for a very long time.
- 35:53Speaker 3: Got it?
- 35:54Speaker 4: Hi?
- 35:54Speaker 3: How are you cutie pie?
- 35:56Speaker 6: How are you?
- 35:57Speaker 3: You're so cute? Look at you on your show?
- 36:00Speaker 1: Ye, I was sitting on Oh that's okay, honey, we're
- 36:03Speaker 1: all sweaty.
- 36:03Speaker 3: I'm going through bene pause. So I'm sweating too.
- 36:07Speaker 1: So you're hanging out with younger people or people your age?
- 36:11Speaker 6: Yeah, I hang out with a lot of older people.
- 36:13Speaker 7: I just turned twenty four, okay, and I can't seem
- 36:15Speaker 7: to keep friends my age.
- 36:17Speaker 3: What happens?
- 36:19Speaker 6: I don't know? They ghost me.
- 36:20Speaker 7: I just had a friend recently. She just unadded me
- 36:23Speaker 7: on everything, and I don't know why, and I don't
- 36:26Speaker 7: want to reach out because she clearly doesn't want to
- 36:29Speaker 7: be talking to me.
- 36:30Speaker 6: So I'm just not sure why.
- 36:31Speaker 7: I connect with older women a lot better, like fifties sixties.
- 36:35Speaker 7: I just get along with them better, and it's easy
- 36:37Speaker 7: to maintain relationships. But I want friends my age to
- 36:41Speaker 7: like hang out because I'm the same age as their kids.
- 36:44Speaker 6: And that's just who get what I'm looking for?
- 36:47Speaker 1: Well, okay, it's not what you're looking for, but go
- 36:49Speaker 1: where the light is. Like, if you're having relationships that
- 36:52Speaker 1: are respectful and like and you're getting like something out
- 36:55Speaker 1: of it, it doesn't matter how old those women are.
- 36:57Speaker 1: I have tons of older I just went to dinner
- 36:59Speaker 1: last night like three seventy year old women. They're way
- 37:02Speaker 1: older than me. But like, I have friends that are
- 37:04Speaker 1: twenty years younger than me. I have friends that are
- 37:05Speaker 1: twenty years older than me. Wherever the light is, wherever
- 37:08Speaker 1: those friendships, Like, you're gonna make other friends in your life.
- 37:11Speaker 1: This woman obviously, or this young woman that ghosted you,
- 37:15Speaker 1: don't worry about her, Like I understand that hurts your feelings.
- 37:17Speaker 1: It hurts all of our feelings when we get ghosted.
- 37:19Speaker 1: But just move on with like the intention of being
- 37:24Speaker 1: open to friendships whatever shape or age or size they
- 37:27Speaker 1: come in. You know what I mean, Because when you
- 37:30Speaker 1: have that attitude, I feel like that that has more
- 37:34Speaker 1: of like a magnetic attraction and it brings people who
- 37:37Speaker 1: are more like minded into your kind of sphere.
- 37:40Speaker 3: And in the meantime, hang out with these older women.
- 37:43Speaker 1: That's fine. That's not going to be the rest of
- 37:46Speaker 1: your life. You're going to make other friends. You're so young,
- 37:48Speaker 1: you're twenty four years old, Like, you're going to meet
- 37:51Speaker 1: other people and you're going to figure out how to
- 37:53Speaker 1: maintain friendships for longer periods of time. It might not
- 37:56Speaker 1: have anything to do with you, quite honestly, is there
- 37:59Speaker 1: anything you can think of that you would have done
- 38:01Speaker 1: to end any of these friendships?
- 38:03Speaker 7: Or well, the last one she asked for money and
- 38:06Speaker 7: I said, I can't give you money, so bye. Like
- 38:10Speaker 7: she added me on everything and I thought it was
- 38:12Speaker 7: because of money, but I'm like, there's no way she
- 38:14Speaker 7: wanted to add me just because of money.
- 38:16Speaker 5: Well cares listen, bye bye. Chelsea's so right. Also, I
- 38:21Speaker 5: think you need to just focus on what it is
- 38:23Speaker 5: that you want in a friendship, and then you're going
- 38:25Speaker 5: to find that in good friends. It doesn't matter how
- 38:29Speaker 5: old they are. And like she said that, it's this
- 38:31Speaker 5: is all temporary. Who listen, girls can be really awful
- 38:35Speaker 5: to each other, and I like to think it's typically
- 38:37Speaker 5: around like six seventh eighth grade, but it's truthfully, sadly,
- 38:41Speaker 5: can be much longer than that. And that's just not
- 38:44Speaker 5: something you need to be around. The second you get
- 38:45Speaker 5: a weird energy or you get ghosted, then happily let
- 38:49Speaker 5: that go. Just figure out what is friendship mean to you,
- 38:51Speaker 5: what is it that you're looking for, and if you're
- 38:52Speaker 5: finding that an older woman for this small period of time,
- 38:55Speaker 5: then enjoy it.
- 38:57Speaker 7: I'm worried that it is something I'm doing because because
- 39:00Speaker 7: I continuously have these like friends that I'll be with
- 39:03Speaker 7: for like one to two years and then randomly they
- 39:05Speaker 7: just like ghost me. So I'm worried I am doing
- 39:07Speaker 7: something and I've been trying to note that, but I'm not.
- 39:09Speaker 6: Sure how to like keep track of it.
- 39:11Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying, but also, like a friend
- 39:15Speaker 1: isn't just going to ghost you after one to two years.
- 39:18Speaker 1: For I hate when you know, when I was growing
- 39:21Speaker 1: up and I had problems with like socially or whatever,
- 39:24Speaker 1: those things don't go away. There's always people in your
- 39:26Speaker 1: life that are going to not be there permanently. But like,
- 39:30Speaker 1: sometimes it really doesn't have anything to do with you.
- 39:33Speaker 1: I'm not saying you're completely absolved of anything. You know,
- 39:35Speaker 1: maybe you are doing something. But also people when as
- 39:39Speaker 1: you get older and more mature, people know that you're
- 39:42Speaker 1: not going to get one hundred percent of everything you
- 39:45Speaker 1: want out of every friendship. You kind of have to
- 39:47Speaker 1: be willing to make mistakes or have people see all
- 39:52Speaker 1: of you and still want to be friends with you.
- 39:54Speaker 3: Like that's the sign of a strong friendship.
- 39:56Speaker 1: So if somebody is fickle enough to kind of ditch
- 39:59Speaker 1: you after something, like, you know it is important to
- 40:02Speaker 1: have self awareness and be aware of the kind of
- 40:05Speaker 1: friend you are and not.
- 40:06Speaker 3: Maybe you know, not be too needy.
- 40:08Speaker 1: I don't know if these are any of the qualities
- 40:10Speaker 1: that you might recognize in yourself. Not be too needy,
- 40:12Speaker 1: not be too demanding, you know, not be putting so
- 40:16Speaker 1: much weight on every friendship, and just kind of go
- 40:18Speaker 1: at it with a more ease, Like just think of
- 40:21Speaker 1: it as more of like it's an audition. It's not permanent,
- 40:24Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And just to kind of
- 40:26Speaker 1: think of it in that way, like building blocks. It
- 40:29Speaker 1: takes a long time to build a really solid friendship.
- 40:32Speaker 1: It doesn't happen over six months. You know. That's kind
- 40:34Speaker 1: of like a almost like love bombing, but with friendships.
- 40:38Speaker 1: So just give yourself a little grace and the women
- 40:42Speaker 1: that you are friends with, ask them if there's anything
- 40:45Speaker 1: odd about you or weird about you that they might
- 40:47Speaker 1: recognize because they sound like real friends. Maybe they have
- 40:51Speaker 1: some feedback because they know you better. But I wouldn't
- 40:53Speaker 1: focus on your shortcomings. I would really focus on just
- 40:56Speaker 1: your attitude towards friendship.
- 40:58Speaker 2: Yeah, and even like this friend who ask for money, like,
- 41:01Speaker 2: it's likely not that she's mad at you for not
- 41:03Speaker 2: giving her the money. She might be let's say, embarrassed
- 41:06Speaker 2: that she asked, and you know, those sorts of things
- 41:08Speaker 2: that she doesn't want the reminder. And I also just
- 41:10Speaker 2: think this like twenty two to twenty seven, friendships are
- 41:14Speaker 2: going to be changing. You know, it's not an easy
- 41:16Speaker 2: thing to go through. But some of my best friends
- 41:18Speaker 2: they didn't meet until I was like in my late twenties,
- 41:21Speaker 2: and they're some of my closest people. But sometimes the
- 41:23Speaker 2: people you meet in your twenties, like they're they're kind
- 41:25Speaker 2: of in and out for a couple of years. It's
- 41:27Speaker 2: just sort of a transient time friendship wise.
- 41:30Speaker 7: Okay, yeah, yeah, that's just what I get told. I'm
- 41:33Speaker 7: weird and off putting a lot. I am very blunt
- 41:36Speaker 7: and I say what I mean, and I don't know
- 41:40Speaker 7: I'm not always unkind in the way I say things,
- 41:42Speaker 7: So I'm worried that could be it too. I just
- 41:44Speaker 7: I feel like that's why older women get me, because
- 41:46Speaker 7: it's like they say what they want, they say what
- 41:48Speaker 7: they mean, they don't take anyone's bullshit.
- 41:50Speaker 6: And that's how I am, That's how my mom raised
- 41:52Speaker 6: me to be.
- 41:53Speaker 7: And so I feel like those friendships don't last because
- 41:55Speaker 7: I can be too like this is what I want,
- 41:58Speaker 7: this is what I don't want right.
- 42:00Speaker 5: Well, do you like that about yourself?
- 42:02Speaker 6: I do. I get people think I'm way older than
- 42:05Speaker 6: I am because of how I am.
- 42:07Speaker 5: Listen that there's nothing wrong with being upfront about what
- 42:10Speaker 5: you want and blunt about what you think you would
- 42:13Speaker 5: recognize if you were being unkind, I think, don't.
- 42:16Speaker 6: You Yeah, I don't I would I think I think so.
- 42:20Speaker 5: Too, And listen, don't be sorry. I think it's a
- 42:22Speaker 5: dangerous game to start micromanaging and really putting such a
- 42:26Speaker 5: microscope on every single thing that you're doing and trying
- 42:28Speaker 5: to figure out what you're doing wrong. I think you
- 42:30Speaker 5: need to just know what kind of person you want
- 42:32Speaker 5: to be, And seems like you're a pretty kind person
- 42:35Speaker 5: who knows that you want friendships and knows that you're
- 42:38Speaker 5: going to be honest about how you feel about things.
- 42:40Speaker 5: There's nothing wrong with that, So I don't know. I
- 42:42Speaker 5: don't think you should be scouring every move to be like,
- 42:45Speaker 5: did I do something wrong? Did I do something wrong?
- 42:47Speaker 5: Because that's not a way to live. Just be figure
- 42:50Speaker 5: out what your intentions are and focus on what it
- 42:53Speaker 5: is that you do want, and then enjoy the friendships
- 42:55Speaker 5: that you have, and then they'll just kind of keep coming.
- 42:57Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, thank you.
- 42:59Speaker 1: Don't edit your personality being blunt and being director. You're
- 43:02Speaker 1: going to find your people. I promise you will.
- 43:06Speaker 2: And we like your energy.
- 43:07Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm into it.
- 43:09Speaker 6: Maybe we'd be friends.
- 43:10Speaker 3: Yeah, your Chelsea Handler approved exactly.
- 43:14Speaker 6: All right, Kristin.
- 43:15Speaker 5: Thank Kristy check in with us.
- 43:17Speaker 6: All right, okay, thank you. Bye.
- 43:19Speaker 1: We're going to take a break and we'll be right
- 43:20Speaker 1: back to wrap up with Kitlyn Olsen and we're back
- 43:27Speaker 1: with the magical Caitlyn Olson, who was so good at
- 43:31Speaker 1: dishing out confidence to young girls today.
- 43:34Speaker 3: I love it. Health these young ladies, we have to
- 43:37Speaker 3: build them up.
- 43:38Speaker 5: I needed this.
- 43:39Speaker 3: I know I needed it too.
- 43:41Speaker 5: I know I needed this when I was that age.
- 43:43Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much for coming on. Congrats on
- 43:45Speaker 1: all of your success. I wish you the best. I
- 43:48Speaker 1: can't wait to meet you in person one day.
- 43:51Speaker 5: I can't believe we haven't met. I love you so much.
- 43:53Speaker 5: I can't wait to meet you too. Thank you for
- 43:55Speaker 5: everything you do. Very inspirational.
- 43:57Speaker 3: Thank you, Take care, Thank you guys.
- 44:02Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the
- 44:04Speaker 1: High and Mighty Tour.
- 44:05Speaker 3: I will be touring from February through June, So go
- 44:09Speaker 3: get your tickets now.
- 44:10Speaker 1: If you want good seats and you want to come
- 44:13Speaker 1: see me perform, I will be on the High and
- 44:15Speaker 1: Mighty tour.
- 44:16Speaker 2: Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea
- 44:19Speaker 2: Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
- 44:23Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.
- 44:26Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
- 44:30Speaker 2: producer Catherine law And be sure to check out our
- 44:33Speaker 2: merch at Chelseahandler dot com